From dirt
by Setrus
Summary: To rise from humble beginnings isn't a fairytale. It's vicious, bloody, and any promised glory is often lost in the wake of shattered lives... Violence. F.Tabris/Alistair.
1. Chapter 1

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._

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She was flying, far above the world, weightless.

Careless.

It would not last, it never did. "Hey sleepyhead, it's time to get up, today's the big day." The voice was painfully playful, and could belong to one person, the one _enjoying_ to wake her up. Lynn Tabris frowned, her eyes still closed despite being awake. Big day...? Big day usually meant..._oh_..._right_.

She let her eyelids flutter open, finding her amber eyes looking up at a wooden ceiling, a ceiling she absently noted, that was beginning to sag downwards, the wood about to give in. Ignoring that was easy though, repairs of the house was father's job after all, she slipped her legs out of the covers and down on the floor, the texture of it familiar to her bare feet.

Shianni was a mere six feet away, smiling at her as she crossed her arms in front of her: "Well, nice to see you spent your last night of freedom in your own bed."

Lynn, still too tired to notice any sort of sarcasm, yawned and stretched her arms up, making the sleeves to the all too large white shirt she wore bunch up around her shoulders. It was far fancier then anything else she had, but not really a garment she could wear outside considering it was a _human_ shirt...that she had stolen from one of her customers. "Good morning to you too." She eyed her cousin carefully. "And big day? I thought the wedding was in two days?"

Shianni was already dressed, slightly fancier then normal, it was the green dress without holes in it after all. She also had her thick red hair tied up in a more elaborate way then normal too, something Lynn knew didn't happen often. At times she wondered how they could be cousins, her own hair, black and stringy, was nothing compared to Shianni's lustrous red, and the amber of her own eyes stood in sharp contrast to Shianni's green ones. It was as if Lynn was part dirt, Shianni part flower.

Of course she was sure some of her customers would disagree with that statement, all the while exploring any bared skin... _Maker I'll miss those extra coins_...she had already had that conversation with Cyrion though, there would be no laying with humans to make ends meet after the marriage, despite Lynn's protests. "They arrived early! Late last night in fact...I got an eyeful, you're fiancée is dreamy!"

"Really?" Lynn drew a sigh of relief, at least he wouldn't be ugly like some of the humans she'd been with, it would make the transition less painful... "Does he have some muscles on him? I don't want a scrawny one." _Maker knows my income will become lower even without my husband being too weak to be a dockworker..._ A small part of her mind wondered at how little she cared about how he was as a person, but it was easily silenced.

"Oh definitely..." Shianni muttered, a distant smile on her lips as she remembered back, drawing a chuckle from Lynn. _Yes, criticise me for making money on married men, but dreaming of soon to be married men is okay_... "And he seemed to like the description of you I gave him last night...oh this will be so much fun!" Jumping up and down the woman clapped her hands together in a sudden bout of girlishness, surprising Lynn.

"Oh?" Lynn wearily rubbed her forehead and pushed some stray strings of hair aside, Shianni's cheerfulness about the day souring her mood. "Like the fact my head looks like a heater shield? He must have some odd tastes in women." It was partly true, Shianni had far softer features then Lynn, not at all as angular...not that Lynn didn't know she could make herself very cute when she wanted to...but right now she felt no need to point that out. _It's my wedding and I'm entitled to be grumpy_...

Shianni snorted. "Don't you try that on me missy, I'm sure you'll get more then enough compliments from your betrothed. We wouldn't want you to get spoiled now do we?"

"Perish the thought." Lynn muttered as she got up, feeling an odd crick in her back at that. When had...oh right...she _had_ made some money last night. _Though more violently_...

Lynn was proud of her profession. She was a thief, or at least that was she herself called herself, most other elves seemed to disagree. In their minds she was either a whore or a murderess. So she didn't pickpocket people for their money...so what? Wasn't it better to either make the victim part with his money willingly, or to make sure he couldn't hold a grudge for you taking them from him? Either screwing the victim or killing him...both meant money in the pocket and no one coming back for revenge...

_Of course the screwing is smarter in the long run_..._it makes people come back for more rather then shy away from the alienage's outskirts_..._and creates less trouble with the authorities_.

Despite this she wasn't unpopular among the others, in fact she was sure to get quite a few guests and well-wishers today. Whatever they might think of her behaviour none could argue that the money she brought to the alienage was more then what anyone else brought. And she was known to share her wealth too, which none so far had said no to, despite questioning the way she had acquired the money.

They all appreciated her upholding her duty to them.

"Would you look at this? It's so nice...Maker I hope I can borrow it from you on _my_ day." Shianni gasped as she dug into Lynn's trunk and retrieved the dress even _Lynn_ had looked at twice since she'd received it. Holding it close to her Shianni whirled around, giving a nice show of just how nice it looked. Lynn had to grudgingly admit...Shianni would look far better in it. _Damn her_... "Oh you'll be the bell of the ball!"

"It's a wedding, not a ball." Lynn stepped forth and pried the dress from Shianni's fingers, suddenly feeling the urge to put it on, something she hadn't thought would be _possible_. It _was_ a nice dress...if a little tight around the legs, meaning she would get to move like she normally wanted to. And it didn't have the buttons on the side of it like her normal dress did, meaning she wouldn't be able to unbutton it so as to show off her leg to any passing human with coins for half an hour...Lynn smiled, wondering if Cyrion had picked it out with that in mind.

Not that she would waste such a thing on any human. It was so white and pristine, with colourful embroidery along the seams and down the centre...she was a little afraid of putting it on actually. "Oh whatever, put it on so we can get to the drinking and ogling of your husband to be!"

Chuckling Lynn pulled her nightshirt off, surprised that the cold she normaly experienced when she did that wasn't present this time. _Father must have made a fire_...the thought made her smile, despite disliking all she did...he still loved her. Not wasting time to experience the warmth, Shianni was staring at her after all, Lynn pulled the dress on. It was just as tight around the legs as she had expected...but it was soft enough against her skin for her not to care.

When she looked up she found Shianni still staring at her. "What?"

"Well...you're beautiful, that's for sure." The woman hesitated, but familiarity won out. "And I can't believe the muscles you sport! Poor Nelaros..." _Ah, right, my betrothal's name_..._good to __remember that_.

Lynn decided to shoot Shianni a coy smile. "Well you know, I get a lot of exercise..."

"Eww!" Shianni shot her hands up between the two and shook her head. "It's your wedding day! I don't want to hear stories about stinking humans!"

"Really? Because they're strong enough to really-"

"Shut up! Shut up!" Shianni exclaimed. "Just...Maker...will you go find Soris while I go set up the decorations? Or will you just torture him like you do me?"

"I can do both." Lynn replied with a smile, drawing a sigh from Shianni. Ignoring the scowling aimed at her Lynn went for her dresser, which was basically a table with boxes nailed to it, and cupped the water in the bowl that lay waiting for her. "And no drinking before setting the decorations, remember last time?" She splashed some of the water over her face, careful as to not stain the dress, instantly she felt fresher, ready to tackle..._the_ day. _I'm getting married_..._today_...it didn't really want to properly register in her mind.

Looking up she realised Shianni had left, only to have been replaced by Cyrion. Her father had...an _odd_ look on his face. Running a hand through her hair Lynn straightened, feeling the beginning of a blush actually appear on her cheeks. "My daughter...Maker you look just like _her_ at times." Cyrion smiled and looked her over. "Though I wouldn't lie if I said you look a little tougher...I didn't think that was possible."

The blush instantly disappeared as Lynn's shoulders dropped, a sigh escaping her. "Dada, I've already _told_ you, I won't do any of that after marrying him...despite that it'll mean we won't afford firewood next winter."

"I know, I know...it was not what I meant." Cyrion raised his hands in placation. "I just wants what's best for you."

"Odd coming from a man that'll make me freeze next winter." Lynn grumbled, more out of a need to vent some of her growing nervousness then anything else. It _was_ sort of sweet of her father and...dear maker she was getting married! _Married_!

Cyrion laughed. "Still with your mother's wit I see!" His smile didn't fade, only softened. "She would have been so proud seeing you this day..."

"Yes...sure." Lynn nodded and swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat. "Though I'm sure she could have gotten a better price on me, you're supposed to try and barter _downwards_ you fool!" She forced a smile, which wasn't too difficult. _Married_...

"No daughter of mine will come cheaply!" Cyrion argued with a grin as he puffed his chest out in one of his rare bouts of silliness, making Lynn laugh. Then the grin turned serious, his hands coming up to her shoulders. "And don't forget that..." Lynn looked away, suddenly feeling very small, _damn him and his caring_... "Besides, Nelaros is a fine man. A good cook, which I _know_ you will appreciate, and with quite an education to boot, he'll pay back what was given back ten times over."

"Oh really? Is that so? Or are you just trying to butter me up for the final march?" Lynn asked with a nervous laughter. The more she heard about this man the less her normal confidence was making itself known. Maker knew she could handle men...but a _good_ man...now those were more difficult. "I was supposed to go see Soris so if you'll..." She made a move for the door, only to stopped as Cyrion intercepted her with a surprisingly tight hug. "Father you're-"

"Don't...don't scare him off with those knives and...everything." Cyrion's voice was but a whisper. "He'll make you happy, I know it." 

"Dada I..." Lynn felt some of the growing tension disappear as she placed a hand on her father's shoulder. "...okay...I'll...behave."

"Good." Cyrion stepped back, looking serious and proud as he normally did, only thing different was the slight wetness in the corners of his eyes. "Now get out there and find your cousin and your husband to be...I'm sure they're both eagerly awaiting you."

_Marriage_..._it is really happening_. Nodding Lynn bowed her head as she brushed past her father, feeling a sudden need to run as she headed for the door. _Of course this dress won't allow that either...wonder if he thought about that too_?

"Cousin!" Looking up Lynn realised she had already gotten outside, in honour of the occasion it was a beautiful day, the sun warm as it shone down over the alienage. The place was cleaner then normal, old wood and grimy stones polished as best anyone could manage. From Vhenadahl, the great tree of the alienage, decorations of red and white paper hung, gently moving in the wind. And the central stage...its sides had been decorated with more flowers then Lynn thought existed in Denerim. _Maker_..._all for_... "Cousin!?"

Snapping back to reality Lynn turned to face Soris. Her other cousin had darker red hair then Shianni, cut short and crisp and giving him a smart look. Which wasn't at all ruined by the yellow and red suit he wore, nearly nice enough for a human noble...maybe because Lynn had stolen it from one? She had to admit that it looked way better on Soris though...the large grey eyes looking at her looked a little annoyed though. "I get it, I look like a bird, get the teasing out of you."

"Well if you already know it there's no fun..." Lynn teased, keeping her compliment of him to herself, she couldn't very well do that when she was supposed to be the one harassing him after all... "I'm just surprised you're still here, I take it your wife to be tackled you down before you could run away?" She shot his thinner arm a playful punch, drawing a irritated wince from him. It was a constant sore point for him that she was stronger then him...and she intended to take full advantage of it until she was made 'respectable'.

_Though I bet I can get away with it at times when I'm a respected wife too...Maker I'm getting married_! She wasn't sure wherever to run away or throw up at the thought.

"Well at least _I_ have already met my budding spouse." Soris pointed out with a snort. "She's...okay I guess." A grimace, not unlike the one he'd had last night when he'd admitted he feared the married life weighting him down, apparently meeting his future wife hadn't eased that worry. "And your fellow...he really makes one feel inadequate."

"Really?" Lynn arched her eyebrow, this was the third time...were they trying to set her up for a joke or something? No man-

"Yes, in fact, lets meet him." Before she could protest Soris stepped to his left and waved over at someone hidden behind a wall to her right. "My cousin is awake now! Care to see her?"

The two elves appearing showed up so quickly Lynn couldn't help but wonder if Soris had planed it, the slight snicker escaping him sure implied so. _I'll kill him_...

The woman...she seemed quite plain, pale blond hair, large blue eyes...obscenely large ears...not ugly though, just...plain. As for the man..._oh Maker_... The man was tall, broad shouldered for an elf...and the green vest he wore somehow made the kind blue eyes looking down at her seem paler then they already were. His hair was thick and pale blond...shining ever so slightly in the sunlight. His skin was slightly tanned, smooth and just..._Maker_.

His wide mouth formed an awkward smile, flashing her his pearly whites. _Wow_..._Shianni wasn't joking_... "H-hello there, I'm glad to finally meet you...I'm Nelaros...I guess this is as good a time as any to say...hello."

The voice of the man was soft, sounding as kind as his eyes look-

A jab in her side made Lynn realise she was staring. Giving silent thanks to Soris she dropped her head low and instead stared at her feet. _Get it together dammit_... "Hi Nelaros...Lynn Tabris, though you of course already know that..." _I said get it together_!

"Y-yes of course." The man replied, obviously equally nervous.

_And when they're nervous_...Lynn smiled, feeling some of her normal confidence return. Looking up she met Nelaros' gaze, and _this_ time those eyes didn't make her legs melt. Instead she smiled, making his eyes widen a little. "Had a nice trip? I'm sure you have _all_ manner of stories to tell me?"

"I-yes...I suppose I do." Nelaros visibly relaxed at that. "Roads aren't safe for elves you know, but we made it."

"All for little me...you're quite the hero aren't you?" Lynn cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms in front of her, making sure to push a little extra against her breasts, however small they might be they were still useful...she was rewarded with the man's gaze darting down, so quickly she barely caught it.

"I...yes...it was the least I could do." Nelaros replied, awkwardly shifting his weight as a hand came up to rub the back of his head. Lynn got an odd feeling he did that a lot... "For my future wife that is...erm...that came out wrong." A frustrated sigh. "Look...I'm a little nervous here...I'm not really-"

Lynn placed a hand on Nelaros shoulder, making the man's mouth slam shut as he went rigid, as if fearing her touch. Smiling coyly she rubbed the shoulder, making sure to squeeze the muscles there for further emphasis. _Huh, Shianni hadn't lied about that either_... "I understand, I was nervous too..._was_." The man's eyes widened, making Lynn inwardly praise her skills. "But not anymore."

"I...I don't know what to say to that." Nelaros muttered, looking uncomfortable. "I...thank you. Huh, maybe this won't be so bad..."

"A beautiful wife usually isn't." Lynn replied with a laugh containing just enough modesty so as to not come across as arrogant. _No, you don't want arrogant, you want playful_.... "Or am I wrong?" She gave her husband to be an innocent look.

The man opened his mouth to answer, but no words came. _Yes! I'll have him wrapped around my little finger in no_- Suddenly Soris hand was on her shoulder. "Excuse me Nelaros, but might I have a word with the _blushing_ bride in question?"

"O-of course." The man stuttered and quickly turned to say something to the other new arrival, the woman wearing an irritated frown as she looked over at Soris.

Ignoring that Soris pulled Lynn aside, scowling at her like the time she had burned all the bread they had been baking..._Maker that had been embarrassing_. "What do you think you're doing?" He hissed the question, obviously mad at her for some reason.

"What? I'm talking to my betrothal...what's wrong?" Lynn asked even as Soris practically dragged her to the massive tree that she only a few years ago had spent an entire summer climbing on. Much to the weaker Soris' and Shianni's annoyance if she remembered correctly. "Just because your girl is a little boring doesn't mean I can't have fun with my guy."

"He's _not_ a _toy_." Soris grabbed her by both shoulders and forced her to look at him, which wasn't difficult since she already _was_ looking at him...but she let him play the bigger brother thing or whatever he thought he was doing. "Look, don't do the thing when you charm everything but his pants off, it's-"

"Actually a wedding usually involves-"

"Stop that!" The man blushed ever so slightly at the words, but maintained his grip on her. "He's going to be your husband, to try and play the seductive woman at him...it's not fair to him, nor you. You want it to be honest, or the marriage...will get hard." He almost looked pained, making Lynn hesitate to protest. "I know you don't...like being honest like that with men...like that. But he _will_ be your _husband_, it's different from...the other stuff."

"I..." Lynn hesitated, feeling as if someone had just slapped her face with a towel. "...I'm just trying to..." She bit her lip, searching for words. "...get past the initial hurdle." She managed a smile as she looked up at Soris. "Come on, you know it's efficient, you've seen it. Why do you think I get a discount at Alarith's store?" She shot a thumb towards the direction of the only elf-run store in all of Ferelden as far she knew. "It's all about choosing the right dress you know..."

"That's just it, this isn't someone you can just flirt with to get something you want, he's going to be your _husband_!" Soris sighed in irritation at the blank look she gave him. "Just...give it a rest will you?"

_I'm not even sure what he's talking about_... Pushing aside the strange thought Lynn's gaze turned away...only to find the oddest of sights. "Tell you what...I'll show you how far _my_ way can get you...by getting that troublemaker to leave." She pointed over at the human that for some reason had _entered_ the alienage, making Soris' eyes bulge as he saw the man.

Humans did _not_ enter the alienage, they made deals with elves at the outskirts of it, it was a silent agreement that humans stayed out of the alienage and elves only entered the rest of Denerim on business. _If_ a human wanted elves for some sort of business he went to the outskirts of the alienage, not _into_ it! Apparently this man hadn't understood that though.

With his legs wide apart the man stood in an militaristic fashion, despite looking at ease with where he was otherwise. No doubt some of his confidence had to do with the two expensive looking blades strapped to his back, and the white robe he wore did nothing to conceal the silvery cuirass and and shoulder guards. _He's wearing a fortune while standing in an alienage_..._maybe he's suicidal_? The man didn't look crazy though, nor worried about the looks he was getting from some passing elves. His skin was far more tanned then any person Lynn had ever seen, hinting at a life of out in the wilds, despite the fancy stuff he wore. The hair of the man was as black as Lynn's, but far better groomed...Lynn grimaced as she ran a hand through her own hair. _It never gets right_... She also noticed he sported a thick beard, something only a _human_ could do...and something Lynn always had found a little strange...who would want hair on their face?

His dark brown eyes carefully moved as he gazed across the area, there was no judgement in the eyes, no disgust over the place that probably looked like one big eyesore for such an obviously wealthy man. Nor was there compassion, there just was...observation. Lynn had to admit that she found it a little eerie.

"Erm...maybe you shouldn't..." Soris muttered, eyeing the human's weapons with hesitation, the man had never liked violence...

"Don't worry so much." Lynn shot him a punch, making him wince even as she headed for the human, ignoring the flailing of her cousin as he uselessly panicked.

Assuming a well-trained saunter that she knew men liked Lynn approached the man, an equally trained smile on her lips.

The man instantly noticed her, but to her surprise he didn't seem to notice anything _but_ her. Before him she became transparent and...Lynn found herself stumbling the last steps, then felt her stomach lurch as the dress she'd almost forgotten she wore tripped her.

The man moved, faster then she thought a human capable of, catching her easily. The hands holding her by the arms were like vices, making her feel very small...as did the eyes looking down at her. There was...something _unreal_ in them...as if he wasn't really human but something else, something lurking just beneath his exterior. "Hello there milady, I believe you're one of the women about to get married? My congratulations."

The voice was dark and soft, she could practically _feel_ the calm in it, a confidence she'd never encountered before. And...had he said _milady_? Lynn forced back the charming smile she had lost and put her hands on the cold metal covering the man's chest. "Well...I'm not married yet...perhaps we can do business?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean." The man arched an eyebrow at her.

"Well...you humans aren't exactly well liked here, but I get the impression you won't leave if I just ask you."

"That's correct." The man pulled her back to her feet and took a step back, watching her with calm eyes, unnerving her further.

"So...maybe I can get you to leave in another way?" Lynn fluttered her eyelashes at him as she tapped her lower lip with a finger, trying to look as innocent as possible...and at the same time not. "I'm told I'm quite good with my hands...just a few minutes behind a corner and you'll leave...okay?" It was the first time since her _first_ time that she felt foolish giving the offer as the eyes boring down at her narrowed, making her swallow.

"Your mother would not like to hear you say such a thing."

That was the _last_ thing Lynn had expected to hear from a human.

_How does he know her? And why would_..._the nerve!_ Lynn reacted the only way she could: "Oh is that's right? You think you know her opinion? That you can just come here and judge me?!" Lynn's hands balled into fists, which she angrily shoved into her sides. "You think you _knew_ her!? Is that it!?"

"Cousin please, this is hardly-" Soris muttered as the man hurried to her 'rescue'. The hand on her shoulder was merely shrugged off though, and when he tried to grab her she shoved him aside, sending him stumbling away. The human merely watched, eyebrow raised.

Finding the calm look on the human's face irritating Lynn shot a finger towards him. "I was willing to try and help you get out of here without getting hurt! But now I'm thinking _I'll_ be the one hurting you!"

"Really? I am the one armed and armoured here." The man stated it as mere facts, watching her with some interest, as one would study a strange insect...

...and it made her _furious_! "Which I'll greatly enjoy selling once I've shoved your face into the ground, taken your fancy sword and shoved it up yo-!"

"Lynn Tabris!" The familiar voice cutting in made Lynn groan, turning she forced her fists to drop as she saw elder Valendrian approach. The old man looked wearier then normal, no doubt due to the many preparations of the feast, his white hair was neatly combed however and he was wearing his nicest clothes with the stance of a man that knew his importance and didn't need to point it out. "What have I told you about starting a scene?"

"Sorry elder but this man-" Lynn begun while bowing her head and gesturing towards the human.

"Is an honoured guest." Valendrian cut in, making her and Soris both wince. _Oh great_... "Duncan, I'm so terribly sorry for this, young Lynn here has a habit of causing...events." _Yep, just great_..._this is my wedding dammit_!

"That is quite alright old friend." The human said and took a step forward to shake Valendrian's hand. To Lynn's surprise there now was something except the calm in the man's eyes, a warmth. "I have a habit of testing people for what they are when it is not needed, and I apologise to young Tabris." He turned his head towards her...and _bowed_ to her!

_He_..._bowed_..._to me? A human_..._bowed? By the spirits who is this_!? Valendrian read her expression like a book, as always: "I'm surprised you're here Duncan, aren't the grey wardens needed in the south?"

Lynn frowned, grey wardens...weren't those these weird warriors? South...that was the wilds...but grey wardens didn't fight barbarians...did they? She noticed both Valendrian and Duncan watching her, almost expectantly. "I heard something of...darkspawn?" The word meant nothing to her, but it seemed to satisfy the two men. "So Duncan was it? Why _are_ you here?"

"I'm recruiting, we need many more grey wardens if we are to counter this blight." Duncan answered, for some reason answering _her_ instead of _Valendrian_.

The elder seemed to notice that too as he frowned. "Yes well this is a wedding day, not exactly the best of times for that."

Duncan looked at Lynn just a bit longer, as if seizing her up. Not liking it she felt some of the old anger return...but he gave her no reason to argue any more as he turned to the elder, eyes warm once more. "My apologies, I will not disturb your ceremony, we can talk later."

"You still haven't told me how you know my mother." Lynn pointed out, the words coming out a bit harsher then she had meant it. _Temper, temper_..._a sweet word can always be turned into a dagger_..._harsh words makes the prey wary_. The words that she had used to guide herself by ever since mother had died felt hollow with her simmering anger, but she forced herself to abide and turned her frown into a curt smile.

Duncan watched her face with an odd interest, and once more she found it as if he was looking right through her, seeing something she didn't want to show. _Creepy_... "I once tried to recruit her into the grey wardens in fact."

"Oh..." Lynn took a step back, mind going blank, yet filling with questions.

He seized her up again, his head slightly tilted, then the human turned back to Valendrian. "Now, I have some things to speak with you about, so perhaps we shall let the young ones enjoy their day?"

"Quite right old friend, quite right..." Valendrian patted Duncan on the shoulder as they begun to walk away, but still had the time to shoot Lynn a look that told her they were _anything_ but finished.

"Well...that went well...good work there." Soris chuckled at the back, apparently finding her for once making a fool of herself greatly enjoyable. "Maybe you should have punched him while you were at it?"

"You're forgetting one thing..."

"What?"

"I can still punch _you_."

Lynn whirled about and slammed her fist into Soris' shoulder. It wasn't as hard as she _could_ have done it, but it still made him groan in pain, one hand instantly coming up to rub the sore spot as he stepped away. "Oh...man...touch a nerve and she breaks yours...got it." He still managed a smile though, mellowing Lynn just a little.

"Lets just...get this over with." Lynn made a tired gesture for the stage where she was supposed to get married on. To think her mother once was nearly recruited by that...that _human_...it was an odd thought. Elves weren't soldiers, not in any organisation, why fight in human wars? Had her mother _wished_ to join? Duncan hadn't really said anything, leaving her to guessing... The grey wardens...they were supposed to be some legendary warriors weren't they? Maker she wished she had studied...just so she could know what her mother had almost been dragged into.

"Sure thing...oh...no." Lynn looked away from looking at the retreating form of the 'legendary warrior' to see what Soris was referring to...and nearly groaned herself There was only _one_ reason for a human noble to visit the alienage, but he usually didn't do it at daytime, and never was he so..._blatant_ with it. It was sure to make trouble, especially on a day like this.

And Lynn could already see a few people glance at _her_, expecting _her_ to do something, because that's what you did...you waited for _Lynn_ to fix it, despite despising the _way_ she fixed it... Sighing she tapped Soris on the shoulder, drawing another wince from him. "Okay, lets go and get this under control before someone loses their temper." Not waiting for him to answer she made straight for the source of the commotion.

The man dominating the three human nobles was finely dressed in a golden shirt, so fine that he shone like a small sun compared to the comparatively drab elves around him. His brown hair and beard was finely groomed, his eyes dark green. Lynn would almost have called him attractive if it hadn't been for the disgusting leer on his face. The frowns on the elves around him were deepening even as the man grabbed a woman by the waist with one hand as the other went to cup a breast. _Oh great, this is a fight in the making_... "Come friends, grab a whore and have a good time."

"Sure thing Vaughan, anything you say." The dark haired man of the three nodded, grabbed another woman by the wrist and pulled her close, making the woman pull her face away even as he playfully snapped at her neck with his mouth, as if he was some sort of animal. _Which he is_...Lynn found it somewhat hard to assume the seductive smile as she approached them, hoping to distract them.

Instead the man apparently named Vaughan noticed Shianni, the woman fearlessly glaring at the man while clenching the ceramic jug she was holding with a pale hand. Dropping the woman he was currently groping, letting her quickly run away, Vaughan smiled at his new prey, making Shianni's glare somehow get worse...and Lynn to groan. _She doesn't even realise how foolish she is_..._don't challenge him!_ "Well, well, what do we have here? A flower growing in the mud?" Turning his head he sought the laughter from his friends, which came quickly. Turning back he smiled at Shianni, like a dog eyeing its meal. "Will wonders never cease?"

"Try anything and I'll gut you shem!" Shianni hissed from bared teeth, making the man take a step back in surprise.

The surprise quickly turned to glee though. "Well, well, the flower has thorns, excellent!" He took a long step forward, closing the distance between the two. "That will make plucking it all the nicer..." He reached out towards Shianni even as the woman raised her jug...and then Lynn was there.

Catching Vaughan's hand with her own she interlocked her fingers with his even as she smiled the best smile she had. The man whirled his head around, ready to yell at her, but the smile stopped any words from escaping, instead the irritation of being interrupted turned to one of delight. "Well hello there sir..." She cocked her head to the side with a coy look on her face, at which the man was staring at with great interest by now, leaving Lynn free to chase Shianni aside with a nudging foot. "...what may I assist you with?"

"Ah, finally one who knows its place." _It_? O_h this will be rich_..._at least most customers have some politeness in them_. "Well aren't you just lovely, and in your favourite rag...all for my sake." _Rag_!?_ He's not even trying to_..._okay_..._calm, he's an idiot shem, and worse, an idiot shem thinking __he's divine, just work with it_. "Perhaps we should...take this to my castle? I have this party and there's _so_ few female guests..."

Lynn managed to laugh, even managed to make it sound husky, turning her face away she inched her head closer, giving him ample time to leer at her without being bothered by her eyes looking at him. Scum like that liked that...no _eyes_...for they scared them. "More women then me? Oh but I'll get so jealous...how about you only bring me and I'll...do the work of four women? I promise you won't regret it..." She closed her eyes at the last words and swallowed, knowing what to come would require a fake smile for the rest of the _week_...and knowing she would need every ounce of strength to endure.

"I suppose I could be per-" A hollow clonking sound and Vaughan stopped mid-sentence. Looking up in surprise Lynn found the man's eyes unfocused, then he stumbled towards her as he lost his balance. Barely catching him without she herself falling over Lynn caught the eye of Shianni, the woman still holding that jug of wine now ever so slightly stained by blood...and a look of utter horror on her face as she realised what she just had done.

"You attack the arl's son!?" The brown-haired man that so far had been quiet cried out, shocked. "Have you lost your mind!?"

"Oh...I didn't mean...I just..." Shianni dropped the jug to the ground, shattering it even as she stumbled backwards, her hands going to her mouth. "Can't we just..."

"No, we can't." Vaughan growled and steadied himself, one hand brushing his hair back as the other grabbed Lynn by the throat, making her jump in sudden fright. The grip wasn't hard...but she realised all too well what it meant: _stay_. "Men!"

They came as ordered, so fast that Lynn wondered how she couldn't have _smelled_ them. Over a dozen guards in chainmail, swords drawn, faces grim under their helmets. _Oh no, this is really bad_...swallowing she forced herself to speak: "Now surely we can..."

"No, we can't." Vaughan growled, the dark rage in his voice making her skin crawl. "Men..." He eyed the elves around them, daring them to do something, nothing happened though. "...grab the women!"

There were cries, fleeing, mailed fists punching their way through those opposing them, then closing around the arms of still shocked women. Lynn, suddenly feeling real fear close around her heart, tried to pull herself free of Vaughan's grip, only to stumble on her skirt and fall to the ground.

Rolling away from a guard's stomping feet she tried to get up, only to have another's foot slam into her back and force her back into the dirt. Looking up she saw Nelaros, the man's mouth open in a scream as he tried to reach them, only to be held back by Soris and two other men.

Then something struck her in the back of her head, slamming her face into the dirt and turning everything into a hazy mist.

_My dress_..._it'll_ _get_ _dirty_...the strange thought drifted lazily through her mind...disjointed from the chaos around her.

Then all turned black.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._

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Drifting. Lazy. Calm. Serene. The world below her a mere patchwork of green and brown, unimportant.

Freedom.

"Maker protect us, Maker help us..." The words fluttered into her mind, the fear in them shackling her back to the ground. "Maker protect us, Maker help us..."

"Oh for...can't someone shut her up?" _Shianni_. Shianni's voice...

Groaning Lynn forced herself to sit up, a hand instantly finding her head as she realised it was pounding. _Ouch_..._did they have to hit so hard_? The image of a grimacing Soris, clutching his punched shoulder, passed before her mind's eye, but she ignored the thought in favour of focusing on the present.

Looking up she found three other women sit crouched around her. Shianni, Soris' Valora...and Lynn had difficulties remembering the third woman's name. _Lenna_? _Leanna_? _Wynne_? Further of she noticed Nola though, the friend that had been chosen as Valora's bridesmaid since Shianni was supposed to be Lynn's. _And praying, of course_..._if we get out of this I'm sure she'll manage to become a priestess_, _elvenhood or not_.

They were in some sort of...storage room? The room was devoid of any furniture, it was essentially just a box made of thick grey stones. There was dust on the floor, but there were several round marks on it where barrels had stood not too long ago. So...they _really_ were in a storage room instead of a cell? Odd...she eyed the door at the other end of the room, her heart sinking at the look of it. It was obviously thick, sturdy and had no lock...probably barred from the outside. So there was no lockpicking their way out, even _if_ Lynn wasn't rusty and had access to some tools it wouldn't matter...they were trapped.

"You're finally up, good..." Shianni's hand came out to brush Lynn's cheek, a sad smile on her lips. "We were beginning to worry, they hit you really hard..." She pulled her hand back as Lynn turned to look at her, the cousin's eyes tearing up. "I thought you had...never mind." Shianni turned her head away. "I'm...sorry."

The words were pitiful and made Lynn want to punch her, to scream at her. _Of course you're sorry you proud fool! You should have just let me handle it! Don't you remember your duty to the others_!? She couldn't bring herself to say that though, not here, not now. "I...it couldn't be helped, remember how quickly those soldiers had arrived? He had planned it all out." _Of course if you hadn't caused a scene some of us might have managed to get away_... The thought was bitter, making Lynn feel a little better about the situation for some reason.

"Where are we?" Lynn asked with a sigh and leant back against the wall, her eyes going down to her dress.

It was _dirty_, dirty and a slightly torn just below the shoulders, the tears stained with red from where gravel or mailed gauntlets had drawn blood. _My wedding dress_..._already ruined_... For some reason that thought, rather then the thought of their impending fate, drew tears from her eyes. _My dress_...

"The arl's castle, they're keeping us in the kitchen's storage." Valora answered, her eyes darting towards the door. "Until..." She swallowed and Lynn noticed her hands trembling. "...until they're ready for us..." A sob escaped the woman as she turned her head away.

"Don't worry, Lynn will get us out of this, won't you?" Shianni looked at her, eyes full of hope, hope tinged with desperation. She _knew_ there was no way out, yet she wanted to hear of it, to know hope...Lynn couldn't bring herself to lie though.

Her laugh was short, full of bitterness, leaning her head back against the wall she closed her eyes. "With what? I have no tools and the door has no lock. Besides, there's an army of guards in the castle, where would we go?" She sighed. "Nope, no getting out."

"I...I can't believe you would say that!"

Lynn didn't open her eyes to meet Shianni's gaze, already knowing she would have that self-righteous look on her face that Lynn despised. "What? The truth? Besides, it's not the end, we'll get out in a couple of hours."

She could hear Shianni hiss between closed teeth, no doubt struggling with containing something insulting escaping her lips. She didn't succeed: "Of course _you_ think lightly of it, but _some_ of us don't want dirty human hands all over us."

"I didn't say I was looking forward to it." Lynn protested, weary beyond words as she opened her eyes, finding Shianni looking away, a look of regret on her face. "But if we resist...you _really_ don't want to do that, I can _promise_ you that." The memory flickered before her mind, when she had been too young to be truly hardened, when she had tried to give the money back and leave...the memory still made her grimace, an old pain jabbing at her gut.

Shianni, all too aware of what Lynn was thinking of, lowered her face. _She_ had been the one taking care of Lynn for the rest of the week after all. The one who had nursed Lynn back to health and made sure she didn't dehydrate as she kept throwing up...it had been Shianni who had tended the..._wounds_. "I...yes..."

"But what will we _do_ then!?" Valora asked, voice tinged with desperation, eyes wide with fear, reminding Lynn of a cornered street dog. _Vaughan will love that_..._poor woman_.

"The only thing you can do, make as little fuss as possible." Lynn shrugged, then cocked her head to the side as she looked over at Nola, the woman rocking back and forth where she was on her knees, praying furiously. "Is she okay? Maybe someone should calm her down?"

"There's nothing to be calm _about_!" Valora shrieked, the woman slapping her hands together and closing them around one another, struggling not to tremble too much. "They will come in here in just a few moments! Then they will take us and-"

Smack!

Shianni's hand leaved a red mark on the woman's cheek and almost knocked her over. Valora's hand came up to her cheek, a shocked look on her face as she stared at Shianni with an open mouth. "Get it together! Or do you wish to become a _permanent_ resident!?"

The woman shook her head furiously, a small gasp escaping her.

"Good, then don't give them an excuse to run you through!" Shianni snapped, then her tone softened as she reached out and placed a hand on Valora's elbow. "We don't want that to happen...okay?"

"But...what will we do then?" The third woman asked. Was it Leanna? Lynn couldn't bring herself to ask. "If we can't fight them or sneak out...we have to..." She let the word hang in the air as all eyes turned to Lynn.

_How funny, now they want my advice on this_..._despising me now doesn't seem so good does it_?

Of course she couldn't bring herself to just leave them like that, they wanted advice on how to endure, and she was obligated to give it to them. Duty demanded it. "You can either pretend you like it...if you do it well enough you might even fool yourself." The words felt bitter in her mouth, but she ignored it. "The best part is that if you're convincing it might be over a little faster..."

The other three grimaced in disgust, only Shianni didn't shudder at the thought, her grimace one of angry disgust rather than the fearful kind. Lynn couldn't help but feel a little proud at that, _my fighting cousin_... "That won't happen."

"Then just lay there." Lynn replied, forcing herself to meet Shianni's gaze, the eyes looking back were hard and resolute. "It might irritate them, but not too much...and while they're at it you simply think about something else. Count the rings in the wood of the ceiling, try to remember what food we have in the larder, what laundry is to be done when you get back home...things like that." She shook her head, feeling heavy and clumsy all of a sudden. "If you're not really there...well then you're not really hurt...are you?"

"No, no you're right." Shianni nodded and looked away, her lips a thin line as she considered the words. "They may take my body but...no...no filthy shem will take _me_."

That's when they heard the clatter of something heavy being moved away from the door.

All but Nola rose to their feet in an instant. Valora and the other woman begun wringing their hands in fear while Shianni looked ready for murder...Lynn carefully put a hand on the woman's shoulder as she forced a neutral look unto her face. _Maker_..._this is bad, it's scary enough as it is, but with the others here_..._why did the others have to be here_!?

The door slammed open, revealing five humans armoured in thick chainmail and carrying drawn swords. The faces under their helmets ranged between sad looks, leers, and the tightly drawn 'I'm just doing my job' look...Lynn had no sympathy for any of them though, none would find forgiveness if they asked for it. The leader, being one of the leering humans, pointed his sword at the group huddled up in a corner. "Good evening ladies, you're courteously invited to Lord Vaughan's party."

"Courtly invitations aren't usually made at the point of a sword." Shianni growled, making Lynn groan inwardly, hadn't they _just_ talked about this!?

The men laughed, no doubt finding the elf's bravery amusing. "Lord Vaughan will enjoy debating the finer points of courtly manners with _you_ I'm sure..." The leader took a step forward, making the elves, even Lynn, take a step back. "Now lets go before I-"

"No! You will not do this to us!" Nola suddenly shot up from her kneeling position, all prayers gone as she rushed straight at the soldier, fist raised and a cry of rage escaping her. The leader took a step back in surprise even as Nola's fist descended upon him. "You will leave us-!"

The words left Nola as her fist was deflected by a raised gauntlet and a bloody sword suddenly came pushing out from her back, making the other women jump back in fright.

_No_..._no_...

The guards looked a little surprised at the event as well, even the leader still holding Nola up on his sword looked a little pale, as if he hadn't truly realised what he had done. Then he shook his head and pushed out against Nola with his free hand, sliding her off the blade.

With a thud she fell to the floor, head turned towards Lynn, eyes blankly staring at her, motionless.

_Dead_..._she_..._they_...

Lynn couldn't take her eyes off the woman, just lying there now, dead. The woman that always hummed a chant as she was hanging laundry, who baked the best bread in the alienage and let the children run off with morsels so hot they could barely hold them...dead. It didn't really...fit.

"You...you killed her!" Valora managed to gasp, sounding as shocked as Lynn felt.

"And more will die if you don't get a move on!" The man barked, eyes narrowing in irritation as he now had composed himself, he pointed the bloodied sword at them, daring them to protest. "Now, will you act like good little wenches or does the body count need to get bigger before you get it?"

"You...you monster!" Shianni suddenly cried out and tore her shoulder free from Lynn's hand as she leapt at the man.

_No_!

Lynn, despite her confining dress, leapt forward. Practically throwing herself towards her cousin she grabbed Shianni and pulled her sideways, away from the human.

Then a mailed fist filled her vision.

*

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*

"Ouch..." Lynn gingerly touched her jaw as her mind crawled out from oblivion, blinking she realised she was lying on her side, the side of her face against the dusty floor. Grimacing she slowly sat up and brushed the worst of the dust off as she gently touched her jaw, trying to find a bruise. "...that's the second time today..." She wasn't sure how long she'd been unconscious, but she had a feeling it hadn't been that long.

Looking around she realised she was alone...even Nola was gone, a red stain on the floor where she had been killed.

_Nola_...

Pulling her legs up until her knees touched her chin Lynn stared at the red spot, feeling coldness grip her heart. Nola...gone...it wasn't...conceivable.

Crawling backwards she pushed herself back against the wall, trying to get as far away from the stain as possible. It was still there though, dark and evil...warning her of what fate awaited her if she wasn't careful. What needed to be done didn't scare her too much, after all, she had been through such things before...but the _others_...

Hugging her legs Lynn felt very small as she stared around herself, noting the emptiness with a sense of hopelessness. _Shianni_...._she could very well be dead by now_...Lynn felt her stomach roll at the thought. No Shianni....no....no it didn't...couldn't be right.

"Maker...let her keep her mood in check." Lynn wasn't one for praying, the Maker was just something you invoked, as much a curse as an expression...but at the moment she couldn't help herself. "Please just...let her strength of mind win over her anger...please?"

_Oh what's the use? When has the Maker ever listened to an elf? He's as bigoted as these humans_..._I should give thanks he doesn't just strike me down instead, though that would be a welcome reprieve_...

Even as the morbid thoughts ran through her mind Lynn heard the door being unbarred once more, sighing she looked up just as the door opened, the five humans from before entering. _Here we go_...

"Well, well! I told you guys she would be up already!" The leader guffawed. "Thick skull in this one!" He pointed his sword, now clean, at her. "Now are you going to come quietly or...?" He licked his lips, enjoying the power he held over her.

Slipping to her feet Lynn shrugged and kept her head low, knowing the time had come. "I'll come with you...take me to your lord."

"Ah, excellent, a smart one." The leader laughed at his wit, then frowned as an odd scrapping sound reached his ears. Turning with a lowered sword he begun to growl "What is it that's-"

With an almighty crash the man flew backwards, slid over the puddle of Nola's blood before coming to a halt in the middle of the room. Atop him _he_ stood, _Nelaros_. Still in his green vest the man held a dagger in his left hand, the weapon buried deep in the guard's chest, the other held a dark grey sword. _Nelaros? Here? But I_...Lynn found herself speechless even as the guard drew a final, shuddering, breath.

Then everything exploded into action. Nelaros tossed her the sword even as he pulled his dagger free and turned to face the four guards that, crying out in surprise, came at them with drawn weapons. One of the guards stumbled aside with an arrow stuck in his back, revealing a wide-eyed Soris holding a bow standing in the doorway.

A guard came at her, then hesitated, unsure if he was supposed to use his sword or simply capture her.

Breaking out of her spell Lynn turned the sword to her dress, cutting it open along the left leg so she could move properly. Using the distraction that the suddenly bared thigh caused to the already confused guard Lynn swung her other leg around, striking the man in the side of his left knee and forcing it down to the floor with a grunt of pain.

Lynn's sword darted out against the kneeling man and struck the exposed throat. _Just as mother taught me_...blood exploded from the wound, showering her clothes with it...and the man crumpled to the floor, dead.

The wounded guard came at her together with another, both swords scything towards her chest.

Ducking low Lynn dodged the attacks, saw the unwounded one stumble forward when Soris put an arrow in his back...and met his stumbling steps with a leap forward and a sword slamming through his abdomen.

The man grunted, hot breath brushing against Lynn's hair, his blood pouring over her chest...then he begun to fall over her.

Spinning away she pulled her weapon free and let the heavy human fall to the floor, the momentum of her move brought her sword in a wide arch against the already wounded guard. It stuck him in the helmet with a metallic clank and forced him backwards, eyelids fluttering as the impact jarred him. Following she lashed out again, again and again...forcing him backwards as he, still dizzy, tried to parry her furious blows.

Then her blade cleaved into his shoulder, making him drop his sword. The next blow smacked his helmet off, tearing part of his ear off along with it. The third cut his right arm off at the elbow, spraying the wall behind him with blood even as the human fell to the floor.

A cry made her whirl about, finding the last guard lash out at a cornered Nelaros, the small knife in the elf's hands pitiful in comparison to the massive broadsword.

Then the sword caught up with the elf, stuck in a corner Nelaros couldn't jump away from the horizontal slash from the guards. The parry was simply pushed aside...and then Nelaros cried out as the blade carved through his stomach before coming out, sending blood and guts pouring over the walls and floor.

_No_!

Lynn felt something break within her, it just...didn't...it wasn't....right.

The guard turned towards her, fearful eyes taking in the sight of his slaughtered friends, then he saw the look on her face...and smiled. Raising his bloodied sword her took a step forward...and silently fell to the floor as Soris' arrow caught him in the eye.

Then there was silence, save for the gasping breath of Nelaros as the elf struggled to hold his intestine back in.

Dropping her sword Lynn stumbled over to the man and dropped to her knees, she moved her hands towards his wound....but stopped, unable to touch him. Instead she merely let them hover above him, wide eyes taking in the injury. The wound was so deep that it had nearly broken the man in two, she could see the white bone of a spine through the bloody mess. _He's dead already_...the thought left her numb. "Why?"

The man coughed. "Why not? I...it was right..."

"No." Lynn shook her head, suddenly feeling angry. "No it wasn't. We were not yet the same people, of the same alienage. You had no duty to me, no ties yet! You had no reason to come!" She clenched her fists, wanting to punch the small smile on the man's face away, but she couldn't even bring herself to _touch_ him. "You had no obligation!"

"I...beg...to differ." Nelaros grunted as he raised his left hand, making Lynn look away, she already knew what he would show... "A promise...is a promise..."

"Fool..." Lynn turned to glare at Nelaros, seething. "You _fool_!"

The man simply smiled. "Always was..." His eyes turned blank, the hand holding out the ring limply dropping to the floor.

_Dead_.

_He is dead_..._so quickly_...am I_ supposed to grieve? It doesn't_..._it would just be_..._foolish_.

Reaching out she took the ring, the simple silver band stained with blood. It was warm in her hand, still warm from his touch...

Lynn got to her feet, feeling dizzy.

Then she threw the ring unto the corpse with a snort. "Fool!" _That_ made her feel a little better...for a moment, then regret tore at her heart. But she turned away none the less, refusing to think about it any longer.

"Lynn!" Soris gasped, indignant. "That's your-"

"That's a fool." Lynn snapped and whirled to face her cousin, the man taking a step back at the glare she shot him. "He had _no_ duty to our alienage! He had no duty to _me_! He had no _reason_ to come!"

Soris' panicked look disappeared as he looked over at the dead elf, instead he almost looked...solemn. "What about it being the right thing to do?"

"Didn't you just hear me? It _wasn't_ the right thing to do!" Lynn snorted. "Fool notions..." She shook her head and walked over to the nearest human corpse, kicking it over she crouched down, hoping she could with all the corpses gather up a full suit of armour to wear, the damages on them and different sizes notwithstanding. "Now help me get this stinking thing off. If we're going to save Shianni and the others I need some armour."

Soris snorted. "Oh? So it's okay for you to go on a rescue attempt but when-"

"_I _have the duty to do so!" Lynn snapped at him,shooting him a glare. "_He_ doesn't." She nodded towards the elven corpse with a grimace of disgust. "Now will you help me? Or don't you want to help Shianni and your betrothed?"

"I...of course..._fine_."


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._

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Despite the thick mail armour she now wore, despite her agility and skills at avoiding blows, Lynn felt beaten. Each and every guard they had met so far had been equally well armoured, bigger, stronger...and while not as vicious as her they all had an inherit blunt brutality in them.

Which reminded her of her aching ribs... wincing slightly Lynn tried to stand straight, but failed. _Oh well_..._no need for that just yet_. At least the armour had protected her, turning lethal blows into mere bruises, though at the moment there were enough of them not to feel '_mere'_ anymore...

_At least they don't show on the outside_..._you must never show yourself hurt_. The old lesson of her mothers rang through Lynn's head even as she rubbed the side of her face with the back of her hand, smearing the blood from a cut in her face over her left cheek. It stung...the salty sweat dripping from her stringy black hair and down her face did nothing to alleviate things either...though the wound was minor it irritated her to no end.

_Or maybe I just don't want to think about what I'm doing_?

Behind her Soris, not at all covered in gore like Lynn was by now, muttering to himself as he ghosted after her. The man had an arrow at the ready on his bow, but despite having fought for quite a while now the paleness of his face hadn't faded, in fact it had worsened, he looked ready to heave, the violence just too much for the mild-mannered man.

For Lynn it was the opposite, she had killed men, sure, as a thief with a dagger, more concerned about the target's purse then anything else. This was different however...she fought for _something_...it was an odd feeling. She felt an odd delight in killing the guards she ran into, _filthy shemlen who follow an even filthier leader_...each dead one meant one less bully for her people. Even the bruises and cuts felt, in an odd way, _good_...they meant she was still alive, that her blood was singing through her veins and that every breath would be fresher then the next.

The invigorating feeling was marred by the deepening pit of worry in her stomach however. She still wasn't sure how long she had been unconscious after they had taken the others to Vaughan's 'party'...which meant that time could be running out. _Or worse, already have run out_...Lynn grimaced at the thought, to think Shianni, pure and strong Shianni, with that scum...it was enough to make anyone seethe.

"What did you say?" Soris whispered the question, worried glances thrown left and right, despite them being in a hallway he feared an attack at any moment. _Skittish_...

Shaking her head Lynn realised she had spoken out loud, _what_ she had said she didn't know though. "Nothing, just that we should hurry, we can't avoid detection by a larger detachment of guards for much longer." Gesturing forward she pointed at the end of the hall where two doors split their path into two directions, the one on the right a dark wooden thing, the other far brighter and with a gilded handle. "Bet they're to the left."

"This is no time for jokes!" Soris hissed, the fear in his voice painfully clear.

Lynn shrugged, it had obviously not been a joke, but Soris was close to panic as it was...and Lynn had to admit that she herself couldn't handle much more strain. No, it was better to soothe him: "I'm sorry-" She closed her mouth as the door to the left opened and a man marched into view, turned, and came to stare at them in surprise equalling their own.

The man was tall, a little fat around the face, making his blue eyes almost piglike even when widened, and armoured in a heavier set of mail then the ones Lynn had seen so far. In one hand he held an empty wooden mug...while he other held a sword as tall as Lynn was!

"Oh this isn't good..." Soris muttered even as the human dropped the mug and brought both hands to his blade and raised it in challenge.

"Halt! Drop your weapons elves!" The authority in the bark confirmed it, this was a man of importance in the castle.

Lynn hesitated, the man was obviously tougher then the guards they had encountered so far, perhaps a captain or...she eyed the door he had come from...a bodyguard? Not to mention that he looked more then ready to fight despite being outnumbered, that was always a bad sign. _Maybe I could-_

Then a scream, muffled by a door, echoed from behind the man, a scream from a _familiar _voice!

"Soris! Fire!" Lynn was barely aware of shouting the order as she jumped into action, leaping straight for the massive man, her daggers in her hands without her even remembering drawing them.

The man took a step back and put his sword horizontally, ready to thrust out at her...then flinched as Soris' arrow rebounded off his helmet, just at the rim above his face.

Lynn's right dagger pushed the large greatsword to the side even as her left went for the man's throat. Jumping back the man barely avoided the darting blade while he brought his sword around for a wide overhand sweep. Lynn ducked under the blow, stabbed her right dagger into his thigh, drawing a grunt from him, then thrust her left dagger into his abdomen, making him double over in wordless agony. Jumping up she sent her left knee into the face of the man, knocking him over and pulling both her daggers out of him in an explosion of blood.

Before he could even _try_ to get up she was standing on his chest. Her right heel came down on his mail covered throat, right on the jugular, hard.

With a crunch the five second long fight was over.

"Maker..." Soris whispered, but Lynn barely heard it as she hurried on, her weapons bared like bloodied fangs as she ran for the open door. Behind it there was a small hall, luxuriously decorated and carpeted. Lynn couldn't care less though as she rushed straight for the door on the other side, a panting Soris at her heels now that he too heard the screams.

They burst into the next room...and came to a stumbling halt.

The room was large and spacious, complete with a red carpet of silk, a vanity, dresser of dark wood...and the walls decorated by paintings and tapestries depicting men and women, old victories and marks of wealth. All that was secondary to the huge four poster bed dominating the room though...on which-

_No! No_...

Lynn turned her head away even as one of the two nobles holding Shianni's arms pinned against the headboard gasped in surprise: "Vaughan! Elf!" The other noble, on the other side of the bed, looked up in fright, eyes widening at the sight of the two new arrivals. Only Vaughan, the only human actually _on_ the bed didn't turn, too engrossed in thrusting into the sobbing elf beneath him.

"Elf!? Really!?" Vaughan laughed even as Shianni under him sobbed in a way Lynn never heard her sob before...it wasn't just sad, nor just pained, it was as if it was an entirely different person...someone broken. "Where have...ugh...you've been the last ten minutes!?"

_Ten minutes_...Lynn felt her shoulders slump in defeat. "Stop, just stop." _Was that my voice? It sounds so_..._meek. _

With a curse Vaughan pulled up from his business, wide eyes taking in the new arrivals even as his hands went to his buckle. "What in the name of..._you_!?" The eyes narrowed even as the man finally got his pants on. The other two nobles, one on each side of the bed slowly stepped away from it and carefully reached for their swords that were propped up against the wall. Vaughan's movement was more casual though, almost arrogant, despite the situation...with a smirk the man reached up to the canopy to the bed and withdrew a long blade hidden within the red cloth. "I thought we were saving you till you woke up...and instead you got here all by yourself."

Lynn didn't answer, her dead gaze slowly going from the smirking nobleman to the bed.

Shianni's green dress was nothing but torn pieces of cloth by now, pulled tightly around her chest and leaving her pale legs exposed as she pulled them up towards her chin, desperately trying to cover herself as her reddened eyes stared at Vaughan with a look Lynn had never seen on her face before. _Terrified_..._Shianni_...._terrified_? It didn't fit with who Shianni was, Shianni was brave, strong, capable and...not _this_.

"You monster!" It was Soris who finally retorted, the heat in his voice surprising. "I'll gut you for this!"

"Is that so?" Vaughan asked, the smirk not leaving his face.

_Shianni_...Lynn lowered her head. It was too late, what point was there to continue? After this Shianni would never again be the strong cousin to envy and silently admire...no...after this she would be someone to pity. And who would Lynn admire then? There were none...and the family would never be the same again, without Shianni's can-do attitude...how would they go on?

"Lets just kill them!" The dark haired noble on Vaughan's left snapped, the one who had first noticed the new arrivals and who seemed more then willing to use the broadsword in his hands. The other noble shot his two friends a terrified look, yet advanced with his own sword held out in front of him as if it was some sort of stick.

"Don't be a fool, they've obviously killed their share of guards getting here." Vaughan shot the fellow noble an annoyed look, but then smiled as he looked back at them. "Now...we can surely make a deal here."

"There is no deal to make!" Soris growled menacingly, Lynn heard the creak of wood from Soris' bow as the man drew his bowstring back for a shot. "I'll kill you for this!"

"And then what?" Vaughan smirked, then laughed at whatever he saw behind Lynn. "You'll ride away in the sunset with the women? I'm the arl's _son_ you fool!" The smirk narrowed to a glare. "If you _somehow_ manage to kill me here I assure you that my father will make the alienage _bathe_ in elven blood by the end of the day." He bared his teeth in a wolfish grin. "Do you want that blood on your hands?"

"I-" Soris' voice trembled in a mix of rage and fear. "I-"

Reaching back Lynn put a hand on Soris' bow, forcing it down even as she heard him ease the bowstring back. "He won't, but I just might." Her voice sounded empty in her ears as she looked back at Vaughan, yet whatever the man saw made him take a step back, his grin fading just a little.

"Now, now, there's still a chance to solve this without turning to violence." Vaughan raised his free hand in a placating gesture. "I hardly think you want your friends and family to die because you didn't think things through..."

_Dammit_... "What do you suggest?"

"Lynn!" Soris protested, some of his anger returning back. "You can't be serious!"

_Oh great, let me make the decisions so you can whine when I make the decision you should make_...Lynn didn't have the strength to reply though, feeling drained to the bone.

"Now, now boy." Vaughan chuckled. "The grown-ups are talking." He eyed Lynn with a confident look in his eyes. "So...how about this? I'll give you forty sovereigns right now for you and whoever you wish to share it with...and you just walk away? No repercussions...you take your family and leave Denerim with your money, never to be seen again."

_Forty sovereigns_...it was more money then Lynn had ever heard about. Despite having her senses dulled by the horrible sight before her she felt her eyes bulge, just a little.

The man chuckled. "Oh? A good offer then? What do you say?"

"I...and no attack on the alienage?" Lynn felt numb as she spoke. Yet the business part of her mind worked, calculating the loss and gain she was making automatically. It was as if she was with a customer...

"Of course I have to send a detachment down to the alienage to look for the killer of my guards." Vaughan smiled. "But you will be far away by then, and wealthy beyond your dreams." He shrugged. "Or we can fight and it will either end up with you dead...or the alienage in flames." He looked at her with suddenly cold eyes. "What will it be? Smart move or...?"

To move out of Denerim...it was a frightening thought, despite it really being a prison the alienage was a form of safety, and her _home_...one didn't just leave it like that. But what was the option? To have maybe half the population put to the sword? Because she couldn't act reasonable? It was too heavy a price to pay for revenge...and the duty to uphold her family's honour weighted lightly against the duty she had to the survival of the alienage itself.

"I...guess it's a deal." Lynn barely heard Soris' gasp of confusion, barely felt his hand on her shoulder as he tried to pull her back while hissing something to her. Instead she pointed one of her daggers towards Shianni, the woman mutedly watching the exchange with wide eyes, obviously in too much shock to really understand what was going on. "She comes with me though."

"Hmpf! You're not really in a position to make demands..." Vaughan frowned, then shrugged. "But very well, none of the others though, we still have a party here after all..."

"I...very well." Lynn's arm dropped. She had just sacrificed the rest of the women...the others in the alienage would hate her for it...but what was there to do? Besides, she would leave the alienage, leave them to hate her...and most importantly..._alive_ to hate her.

"You can't be serious!" Soris snapped. "I can't believe what I'm hearing! We won't leave the others to this _pig_!"

Ignoring Vaughan's scoffing Lynn sighed and turned to Soris. The elf's fist was so tightly gripped around his bow that his knuckles were going white, and his glare so heated Lynn almost took a step back. Ignoring the guilt digging into her as the glare bore into her she forced herself to assume a neutral look. "Soris, think about it for a moment...we can't-"

"No!" Soris yelled at her, then turned his glare to Vaughan. "I'm done thinking!" The move was smooth, one moment he was aiming downwards, the next the bowstring was back against his ear as he drew back to fire. "Die!"

Lynn tried to push the bow aside, but it was too late. Instead she could only whip her head around in time to see Vaughan twist his torso away from the shot, the arrow instead lodging itself into the chest of the nervous-looking noble behind him.

All eyes went to the man as he stumbled backwards and into the dresser behind him. His sword dropped from limp fingers as he stared at the shaft protruding from his chest with wide eyes, his hands moved towards it...then he slumped to the floor.

Then Vaughan was moving, growling like some sort of animal as he lunged for Lynn.

Her daggers moved automatically up in a cross, parrying the thrusting blade and forcing it over her right shoulder. Vaughan moved with the attack though, quickly moving past her and forcing her to circle backwards to face him...only to see the man slam the pommel of his sword into Soris face, sending much smaller elf crash into the wall with a loud crack.

There was no time to fear for him though since the black haired man was coming at her. Jumping over the bed, drawing a shriek from Shianni in the process, the man slashed his sword diagonal in front of him, nearly striking Lynn in the torso as she jumped back. Before he could recover from the missed blow Lynn leapt back forward and slammed her left dagger into his now exposed shoulder blade, breaking through bone and flesh with equal ease and making the man scream and drop his sword.

Then her right dagger came up into his chest, sending him flying backwards and wrenching the dagger in his shoulder blade from Lynn's hand, despite her efforts to hold unto it.

By the doorway Soris was still on his back, somehow he had managed to block Vaughan's slashing sword with his bow. But the weapon had nearly been cut in two by the blow...and as Lynn watched Vaughan pulled back for another attack...only to scoff at Soris' raised bow and instead kick under it with a solid boot, breaking Soris' nose and making the man go limp.

Leaping forward Lynn slashed her remaining dagger at the man, only to find him slip away, his darting blade nearly catching her throat Growling she followed, watching Vaughan smirk at her as he ducked away from another blow, this time his riposte bounced off her shoulder pad, the force of the blow jarring her arm.

"You're out of your league elf, I've been trained in swordplay since childhood." Vaughan's sword nearly slapped Lynn's dagger out of her hand before crashing into the arm and cutting through enough mail to draw blood. Wincing she forced herself to try to get within range with her shorter weapon, only to find the man easily backing away while dealing another painful blow to her, this time across her thigh.

Yelling in frustration she leapt forward, only to have Vaughan's sword slam into her chest as he danced aside with a smirk on his face, leaving her gasping for air while stepping back towards the bed. "I can't understand _why_ I even bothered offering you a deal. Now both you and your alienage will bleed for the deaths of my friends." He shook his head as Lynn struggled to straighten up. "Foolish little girl, don't you realise that someone like you, an elf of all things, can never-"

Then Shianni moved, the woman on the bed suddenly darting forward to place a kick in Vaughan's back. She was far lighter than the man and didn't have much strength behind the blow, yet the man was forced to take stumbling step forward...and behind him Lynn saw Shianni's eyes light up as she stared back at her, pleading to her: _Kill him, kill him now cousin_!

Moving forward Lynn saw Vaughan's eyes widen, but his sword still came at her, a wide sweep coming in towards her left.

She ignored it.

With a crunch the blade dug into her armour until it reached flesh, their movements making sure it sawed into her flesh. Ignoring the sudden burning pain Lynn brought her left arm down, catching the blade and holding it down between her body and the arm as she closed the last distance between them. Vaughan's eyes widened-

_Crunch_.

First nothing happened, Vaughan still stared at her, eyes wide, his hand still holding unto the sword.

Then his free hand came up to grip her shoulder as the face twisted into a grimace of pain.

A cough escaped him, making blood appear on his lips as the grip on her shoulder tightened.

"An...elf?"

With that he dropped to his knees, the sword clattering as it dropped down next to him, stained crimson by Lynn's blood. Taking a faltering step backwards Lynn watched the man's eyes stare up at her, yet not really seeing her anymore.

An odd sigh escaped the man...then he fell forward, dead.

"You...you killed him." Soris muttered, the man groaning as he slowly struggled to his feet, using his damaged bow for support. His nose was red from the heavy blow it had received, but he looked otherwise unharmed...save that the paleness had returned. "He's dead...are you _okay_?"

"I'm...fine." Lynn rasped, feeling woozy all of a sudden, shaking her head she shook it off and pressed a gauntleted hand against her side,_ it will have to do for now_. Tearing her gaze away from the dead noble she looked over at Shianni, the woman staring down at Vaughan with empty eyes. "Are you okay Shianni?"

At the mention of her name her cousin pulled back and retreated up against the headboard, a whimper escaping her as she pulled at her torn dress, once more remembering to cover up even as the tears begun to fall. "I...I..." She looked up at Lynn, the pleading in her cousin's eyes making her look away. "I don't want to be here anymore!"

Forcing herself to move forward Lynn dropped her remaining dagger before crawling up on the bed, her voice but a whisper: "And you won't....you won't." She had barely crossed half the bed before Shianni fell forward to meet her, her face burying itself in Lynn's chest as her arms wrapped themselves around her, drawing a wince from Lynn. Forcing herself not to withdraw from the pain-inducing grip Lynn reached down and dug her fingers into the thick red hair of her cousin, making the blood on her gauntlets less obvious, as if it hid her deeds... "We'll get you out of here...I promise."

Glancing over at Soris, the man rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish look on his face she nodded towards a chamber on the other end of the room from where she could hear cries of fear from those that obviously had heard the fighting. "Go get the others will you?"

"I..." Soris made a move towards Shianni, hand stretching out, but then he withdrew it, a look of regret on his face...he knew as well as Lynn that touching Shianni now would be..._bad_. "...yes...sure." With slumped shoulders he moved towards the door.

"They'll...they'll kill us for this." Shianni whispered as she hugged Lynn tighter, as if she was the only thing solid in the entire room.

Grimacing at the pain in her side Lynn still managed to speak softly: "We'll...figure something out, okay? Don't worry."

And Shianni, brave and strong Shianni, looked up at her with tear filled eyes, her lips trembling. "R-really?"

Forcing herself to smile Lynn nodded. "Of course, I'll take care of it."

As Shianni buried her head in Lynn's chest once more, her sobbing choked and wreaking her entire body in spasms, Lynn closed her eyes and moved her hands to pet Shianni's back and hair...while only able to think one thought:

_It should have been me_...


	4. Chapter 4

She was trailing behind them, her breath laboured.

It was a bit strange for Lynn to be at the rear of the group. Even as a child she had always been the one at the front, not only the fastest child but also the one who just...went first, that was what she did. When they had grown up not much had changed, true, there had been fewer moments when she had been walking or running with anyone else, but at those times she had been in the front again...it just was the way it was.

Then again much was strange with this group wobbling forward in a semi-running pace...

For one Shianni was in the middle of it, more or less supported by the women around her. Shianni who never had gone out running with the other children, who had never needed to be in the front...or in the group at all. Shianni who had always been responsible enough to do some chores while the others played. And Soris who usually had to play outside the main group, together with them because Lynn said so... yet away since he was a 'filthy boy'...was now right behind the main group, gently nudging the others forward as he shot worried glances backwards.

Lynn couldn't help but do the same, knowing she couldn't fight anymore. The lone dagger strapped to her back felt like a heavy weight on her shoulders, forcing her to run as if she was hunchbacked. Her mail boots felt equally heavy, it was a small wonder she could even lift her legs, in fact _everything_ on her felt heavy. Even her hair, now freed from the helmet she had thrown into a back alley to confuse their pursuers, felt as if it was trying to drag her head down into the dirt.

She was in no condition to fight...and the worry that brought made her understand how Soris must have felt. She glanced at the way the man still held the nearly shorn bow, though shaking the hand holding it was still ready to fire. _Brave boy_...Lynn looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed for some reason.

Instead she cocked her head to the side and listened for their pursuers, her ears twitching as she recognised the familiar sound of many heavy boots and the shouting of angry guards...though she had never imagined running from those sounds with _company_.

"We're nearly there!" Soris yelled, a bit too loud to Lynn's liking. He was right though, even now she could see distinct lack of chimneys and wooden roofs that meant that the much lower built alienage was nearby. Just a few turns left and they would reach the bridge...and 'safety'. Of course there would be no safety...but Lynn couldn't bring herself to dash the others hopes.

"Remember to save some energy for the bridge!" She croaked, her voice harsh and pained, making Soris throw her a worried look, she ignored it though, focused on keeping one foot ahead of the other. "They must not see us!"

_Maker_..._it hurts_. Clutching her wound in the side Lynn could feel more blood pour out and over her leg, each step drained her a little more...she wouldn't make it. And even if she did...they would find her, what other elf would they go for but the bloodied one already known for breaking the law?

Still, she went on, why she wasn't sure...but she did.

Behind her she realised the shouts were getting closer. The guards were now zoning in on them...despite their efforts to lose them. Lynn knew the back alleys better than any guard, but there was only so much she _could_ do when guiding half a dozen already drained elven women around...and their crimes had no doubt gotten every guard in Denerim mustered.

In fact, if she listened carefully enough, she could hear the bark of the captain of the guard, a man she had had quite a few run-ins with already. The man was, unfortunately, good at his job and Lynn had a feeling the captain already knew most of the story of what had happened and was already suspecting her as the culprit.

_I'll miss playing cat and mouse with him_...Lynn blinked at the odd thought, then shook it aside and forced herself to run faster, to catch up with the others. It was harder then she thought it would be...faltering a little as she placed a hand on Soris' shoulder she raised her voice to speak to all, her words coming out in huffs: "When...we reach the other...side of the alienage...remember to scatter!"

Soris shot her a worried look, but she deflected it with a forced grin. Nodding towards the low bridge leading to the other side she gasped: "There it is, hang on!"

Reigning the others in wasn't difficult, they were tired beyond words already, more the willing for a breather, however short it may be. Inching forward...nearly doubled over, more out of a need to ease her injury then out of a need for stealth...Lynn checked for witnesses on both ends of the little river.

It was known that some stores used the dirty river as a way of transporting their goods, despite it technically being illegal, and equally known that the ferrymen there happily sold incriminating information on anyone but their own kind to the guard. Not to mention that the human housewives living near the alienage usually kept an eye out for 'troublemakers' when they were either airing their clothes in the windows or throwing garbage into the river...

There was none there though, no boats save an empty one docked further upstream...nor any housewife that would more then gladly report on those 'dirty elves'. Somehow the thought brought a weak smile to Lynn's lips, she'd _been_ with most of their husbands...dirty _indeed_. Shaking aside the odd thought, as well as the cold melancholy that had begun to creep up on her along with the coldness of her flesh...Lynn waved for the others: "Now! _Go_!"

As one the others begun to run, even Shianni somehow managed to keep up, though she leant heavily on Valora to keep steady. Next to the two Soris ran, most of his attention focused on the two women even as he tossed his bow into the river, getting rid of the evidence. _Smart boy_...grinning slightly Lynn forced her protesting legs to move after them.

_It_ _hurts_.

But she was getting there, the end of the stone bridge wasn't too far away...and when they got over...well it would be hard for the guard to catch them all when they didn't know _who_ they had been chasing since they so far hadn't even caught a glance of their prey.

_Maker_ _it_ _hurts_!

Soris threw a glance back, the turned to run sideways as he waved for her to continue, his mouth moved...but strangely Lynn couldn't hear any words. The others were nearly there, the first one over already running to hide away in the maze that was the alienage. Yet Lynn was still far away...somehow.

_But_..._I'm_..._usually so fast_...?

Then the ground came rushing towards her face.

"Oof!" Lynn turned her head enough only to hit her chin in the bridge floor. The burning pain of scrapping it against rough stone was nothing compared to having her already weary body lose all air as it struck the ground without her even able to raise her hands to catch herself though.

The world suddenly seemed to spin on its axis, the edges blurry.

"Lynn!" Someone, Soris she thought, yelled out in fright. "Get up! Run!" _What's that hissing sound? So strange...blood_ _loss_? Grunting Lynn forced herself not to think about it as she raised a heavy left arm and placed it on the railing to the bridge to push herself up. It wasn't enough though...grunting once more she forced her other arm unto the railing and pulled her legs to work...

_Too heavy_..._it's too heavy_.

Slowly she got to her feet...in time to see Soris' eyes widen as he spotted something behind her.

_Heh_, _wonder what_? Smiling Lynn looked down, not at all surprised at the bloody hand prints now on the railing, nor at the puddle she'd already made on the ground. _Light_-_headed_...shaking her head she looked up at Soris, the man's eyes darting between the no doubt approaching guards and her, his stance tense, torn between wanting to run for it and to go get her. "Run..."

The man cocked his head to the side, his left ear twitching as it was wont to do when he hadn't heard what she had said. _Heh_..._I'll miss that_. "Run!" Soris' eyes bulged, then he shook his head, slowly, as if not believing what he was hearing.

He continued to hesitate even as Lynn begun to hear the tramp of many running men, despite the hissing sound in her ears. _They'll see him, they'll take him and_... "Run!"

_This_ time he obeyed, after a final glance...he was gone, leaving her alone. Lynn closed her eyes, feeling her heart flutter in her chest in a mix of pain and exhaustion. _At least he'll manage_..._good boy_.

Oddly enough she didn't feel all that much panic at the sound of marching men coming closer. Rather an odd calm had descended upon her...with a tired scoff she realised it had more to do with her draining injuries then any noble idea of sacrificing herself. _I don't want it to end yet_..._prison_..._execution_..._it's too soon_..._I_ _wanted_..._more_.

The sound of marching men stopped.

Drawing a deep breath Lynn managed not to grimace at the smell of her own sweat and blood mixing with the smell of the wastes that had been dumped in the river. Despite the stink...it was nice, it was a breath of freedom.

Then she turned.

The road on the other side of the bridge was packed with guards, all with their weapons drawn, all panting slightly as they stared at her, faces grim. _Heh, funny, I recognise nearly half of them by now_...of course there was only one of them of interest. The man at the front, the man with the small orange beard and bushy eyebrows, the only guard with his sword sheathed...and arms crossed in irritation. "The little Tabris girl...I should have known."

"Captain Lowan?" Lynn bowed her head as she forced herself to straighten, a small smile struggling its way to her lips. "What a coincidence bumping into you here."

The captain shook his head, a sigh escaping him as he took a step forward. "No jokes now, no playing innocent, this is too big." He looked her up and down with knowing eyes, a low whistle escaped him at whatever he saw. "Shame you never applied to join the guard...that must have been some impressive work I'm sure."

"Thanks, though I know you would never have hired me." Lynn shrugged, thankful for the moment the captain was giving her, a moment of...calm one might call it, to enjoy her last moments of freedom. "Heh, almost lost you over at the alleys didn't I?"

"Indeed you did." The man nodded. "Though you guys used that fence trick, I figured that out a month ago, otherwise you all might have escaped."

Lynn smiled, the trick wasn't lost upon her...captain Lowan smiled back, if not as wide. "Yes I guess you have, shame _I_ didn't take the other trick _I_ could have used."

The captain chuckled and shook his head. "Wily Lynn...don't you think I know you had accomplices? I've heard the story already." He took another step forward, eyes warming slightly. _Maybe he would miss our games as well_?_ Maybe he even sympathize_? "Just tell me everything and I'll make sure you get a fair trial."

Whatever hope she had to the captain was dashed with that, wiping the smile from her lips she snorted. "A fair trial leads to my execution." The captain nodded, chewing his bottom lip. "You'll get nothing shem, I did this on my own." It felt..._good_ to say it, to just get it over with...

The captain shook his head and took another step forward, his head slightly tilted to the side as he regarded her with...an odd look on his face. It wasn't really a scowl, though he certainly tried to make it look like one...if she didn't know better she would think he was beaming. "You think I'll buy that? Even _you_ aren't capable of all this on your own, make things easy on yourself now...I don't want to hurt you."

"You want to know what I'm capable of!?" Lynn hissed and drew her remaining dagger with a flourish while getting down into a fighting pose. "Let me demonstrate!"

The other guards begun to rush forward...only to stop as Lowan raised a hand in a silent order. "Lynn...torture isn't...the nicest thing to experience before an execution." He sighed and rubbed his temple with his fingers, suddenly looking quite..._old_. "Just work with us, for _once_? I might even make you get away with just loosing a hand if you cooperate...it's my final offer."

"You..." Lynn blinked, then wavered. "...you'll get nothing from me..." The dagger dropped from her hand as she stumbled back, the hand dropping to the railing the only thing stopping her from falling over. "...shem." She closed her eyes, trying to block the hissing sound in her ears out. _Duty_..."Leave my...people alone."

The captain sighed. "Fine." Suddenly he was behind her, wrenching her arms up behind her back with one hand as the other went for his belt and the chains there. "Lynn Tabris, by the authority of the king and the arl of Denerim you are hereby arrested for the murder of-"

"That's quite enough." The dark voice speaking up cut through the scene like a knife, making everyone freeze. Looking up, her sight blurry, Lynn saw the hazy outline of a dark skinned man pushing himself through the crowd of soldiers. _Duncan_? "Captain, release that woman, immediately if you will."

"Grey warden I...yes warden." The grip on Lynn's arms faded as Lowan stepped away. "But I must tell you that this is highly irregular. I'm making an arrest here."

"We live in irregular times captain." A firm grip was suddenly holding Lynn's chin, dark brown eyes looking into hers, kind, gentle even..._huh_? "Can you hear me?" Lynn managed a miniscule nod. "Good, drink this." A gloved hand appeared before her vision, a hand holding a small flask of glass, whose content was as red as Shianni's hair. "Quickly." He pushed the mouth of the bottle against her lips and inclined it so the content could pour into her mouth.

_Tingly_...it was as if the liquid didn't go to her stomach, instead it seemed to run into her skin...it was if a thousand little needles suddenly tickled her. A cold feeling ran through her skull, kicking her mind back into proper consciousness. It was as if she'd just chewed some deep mushrooms...

"Huh..." Blinking she realised that the blurriness of the world had disappeared...even the weariness was gone...in fact she felt as if she could start running...the grip on her chin hardened, forcing her to meet Duncan's gaze. "I...thank you?"

Releasing his grip on her Duncan turned to the captain, the man having returned to the front of the other guards, probably feeling a little safer with them at his back. "Captain Lowan, this one is not yours to take. I hereby conscript her into the Grey wardens, as is my right."

Lynn, still feeling a little overwhelmed by the sudden lack of tiredness and bleeding, blinked. _What did he say_?

"What!? You can't..." The captain begun, then stopped and sighed, hands dropping to his sides. "...no, you can..." He shook his head. "The arl will have my head...are you _sure_? I don't think you realise just who you're recruiting here warden. She's a-"

"I'm quite aware captain. I don't take my duty lightly." Duncan replied, hands now behind his back as he calmly faced what had to be every single guard in Denerim. "Now please, be on your way so I can properly tend to my new recruit."

"I..." For a moment it looked as if the man would protest further, then his shoulders sagged in defeat. "...very well." The captain nodded, turned and made a gesture to the other men around him. "Okay men, back to your posts." Only then did the other guards sheathe their weapons, shooting hostile glares at Lynn even as they turned to walk away.

And so...they were alone...and she _wasn't_ arrested...Lynn couldn't believe it.

"I...thank you." Duncan turned to face her even as Lynn struggled for words. "I will of course try and repay you...though I don't know how."

"I desire no payment." Duncan answered, his tone so...calm. It was eerie...didn't this man know nervousness or fear?

"You..._what_?" Lynn frowned, not understanding._ Not payment_..._who thought like that_? "Everyone wants something...you don't think I can pay you enough?" She grimaced even as she said it, even with her family helping out and maybe some contributions from the others in the alienage...to get a proper sum for her life would be difficult. _At least a few of them owe me right now_..._it'll help. _"I'm sure you'll be surprised by what we could scrape together."

"It takes a lot to surprise me." Duncan spoke as he softly padded closer. Lynn looked up at the calm face with an odd feeling of fear in her stomach..._I don't doubt that_. "And I didn't mean to imply that I didn't think you could give me money for your life, what I meant was that I desire no payment because I already have what I came for."

"You do?" Lynn arched an eyebrow, confused.

"Yes, I came for a recruit, now I have one." Duncan replied, unblinking.

First Lynn just looked at him, confused, then she felt her eyes bulge as the words sunk into her. "_What_?!" She took a step back, sudden panic squeezing her chest. "You can't be...I mean I just thought that..." Her eyes darted left and right, but found no aid in the murky water below the bridge. There were only two ways, backwards...or through Duncan. "You can't be serious!"

Duncan followed her, his face a mask of seriousness. "The right of conscription isn't enforced lightly Lynn Tabris, it's not a political tool, nor a way to help someone in dire straits." Lynn glanced backwards, hoping to find someone there to help her, Valendrian, Cyrion, Soris...anyone! There were no help to get though, they were alone. "You are a grey warden recruit now, because I think you could become one, I would not have invoked the right otherwise."

The eyes meeting hers were so calm, so serious, making her believe every word. _If he hadn't thought that_..._he would have left me to be executed_..._maker_... "B-but I'm just a elf, a nobody, you can't possibly think that..."

"I do." Duncan cut in, still following her as she backed away. "I pick my recruits with most care Lynn, you're coming with me, to stop the blight."

_Maker_..._I barely know what the blight is_! "But...the alienage..everything here...I can't just-"

"Do you think that the title of grey warden recruit will protect you once I've left? It will not." Duncan spoke slowly, so reasoning that Lynn couldn't help but listen. "If I leave without you you will be taken and executed, while whatever confession they might force out of you by torture will be used as an excuse to burn down the alienage and make an example out of many of your friends." Lynn suddenly stopped retreating, forcing Duncan to incline his head to look down at her as he stepped up close. "You know this."

"I..." Lynn found no mercy in the eyes looking down at her, only calm and facts. She looked away, a strange pain in her chest. "...yes, I know."

"Without your arrest and forced confession the captain will not dare to act though, not without the arl's expressed permission." Duncan still spoke slowly, and even though Lynn didn't have the strength to look up, she knew he was still looking at her. "The arl is at Ostagar where I'm going, as is the king." Blinking she forced herself to look up, sensing...something. The eyes looking back at her confirmed it, the man had a plan. "If you come with me I could speak to the king and the arl after the battle, I have the ear of the king and his authority will stop any attempt by the arl to punish the alienage for his son's crimes."

Lynn blinked, the plan was so...sound, and clever...it gave the warden what he wanted with a minimum of effort. It was a good plan, and she had to admit, her only good option. "After the battle?"

"Yes, a battle with the darkspawn is imminent, therefore we must hurry." Duncan explained, something at the corner of his eyes flickering as he realised she was about to concede.

"Still don't really get what a darkspawn is..." Lynn muttered, her left hand coming up to rub her elbow as she looked around herself with confused eyes. G_rey wardens_..._aren't their recruitment supposed to be more_..._epic then this_?_ They're supposed to be heroes_..._not this_. "But what I meant was..._after_ the battle?"

"We can't bring it up before." Duncan replied, stoical. "If we do the arl might not fight as he should with his men, or worse, feel inclined to withdraw his support before the battle begins."

"Ah, clever." Lynn nodded in appreciation, _that_ was thinking she understood...this Duncan wasn't only a good guy apparently, but also smart...for a human at least. "I-" She looked back, seeing only a murky corner of a house that would lead to her home. _Home_... "I agree to your terms." She looked up at Duncan and laughed, a short explosion of air as she forced a smile to her lips. "Not that I have much of a choice, right?"

"No, you don't." Duncan confirmed with a nod. For a moment there was a flicker of compassion in his eyes as he saw the true realisation of what Lynn was agreeing to sink into her, but it was gone so fast she hardly noticed it. "Now, we must leave quickly if we are to reach Ostagar in time. Get your things and say your goodbyes, I'll be waiting here."

"J-just like that? Goodbye and walk away?" Lynn shook her head and took a step backwards. It was just too...sudden, too quick.

"I'm afraid so."

"And you won't even...follow me and make sure I don't try to run away?" She shot the human an incredulous look.

"Is that necessary?" Duncan asked with his arms crossed, not even a flicker of uncertainty in his pose.

_The alienage_..._I can't stay with them if I want them to survive_. Lynn's shoulders sagged as she looked away, knowing she was beaten didn't make things easier, instead it felt as if a great weight suddenly fell upon her shoulders, pulling her downwards. "No, no it isn't...I'll be...back in a few moments."

Turning she slowly moved towards her home, to take what few belongings she had, to say some painful goodbyes...and then leave for some strange war she didn't understand. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right in any way, she thought she had gotten used to that...but _this_ unfairness was beyond what she was used to. It would bring her to some strange part of the world she had barely heard of, away from all comfort, away from everything familiar...and she would walk _willingly_.

_Damn duty_...


	5. Chapter 5

She hadn't said much.

Of course Duncan didn't blame her, many of his new recruits often spent their first time with him in silence, something he never took away from them. It was part of their transition, a time they needed to ponder the change that had been wrought on their lives...Duncan still dimly remembered having been the same back when he was recruited.

At least this one had something to distract herself with.

Glancing back Duncan noted the way the little elf looked left and right, her eyes changing between weary and perplexed. _She has probably never been out of Denerim_..._all the greenery must be strange to her_. Duncan was thankful for that small mercy, though it would probably yield some problems for the new recruit, wardens spent a lot of time travelling after all, it would make her transition in the beginning a little easier.

_If she survives the joining that is_... Duncan hated that part, it was so easy to feel compassion for the people he tore from their lives, to try and be supportive, but that made their deaths all the more difficult...at times he wondered if he shouldn't just stop caring about it but... _No, that won't happen, it's my burden to bear_.

The road was dusty, the merciless sun beating down on them making the stones under his feet warm. Duncan wasn't overly bothered by it, but he noticed the sheet of sweat covering Lynn's face, even if the elf herself didn't as she found something interesting with a small flower at the side of the road.

It was hard to picture the almost innocent looking little girl now picking the flower as the vicious fighter he'd seen not to long ago...but Duncan remembered thinking the same thing about the overly-silly Alistair too and easily discarded the thought. Besides, Lynn wasn't eyeing the flower with some innocent childlike look, she was frowning at it, obviously perplexed by its purple colour and strange shape.

"Have you been outside Denerim much?" He found himself asking, eyeing their surroundings with practised eyes. There was forests on each side of the road, though quite far away, meaning they would get a heads up on any possible ambush. When they got closer to Ostagar he knew the forest would get thicker and the path narrower, but right now it was almost an idyllic picture of the woodlands they were entering.

The woman shook her head, before she hadn't answered his simple questions, but apparently she was ready now. "No...not for more then a day, and always just in the outskirts of it." She puffed air at a string of sweaty black hair, forcing it out of her face. "Is it always this warm? I thought the city and the countryside shared the same sun...but apparently I was wrong."

_Good, she's ready to talk_. "It's the air, it's different to what you're used to." He shrugged. "But yes, we should rest, your body has not yet adjusted itself to the pace of walking long distances." He gestured to the right, towards a more even part of the grass separating the road from the forest and where a couple of small rocks lay so one could sit on something.

"How can _air_ be different?" The new recruit muttered, more to herself than to him. She dutifully followed him to the decided resting stop though, eyes on her boots. "And I'm strong already...this pace is nothing...yet..." She frowned and rubbed some of the sweat out of her face.

"It's different, however strong you are you have to let your body adapt to the changed pace, will you accept that?" Duncan explained, knowing Lynn probably already knew it, but wishing to keep the conversation going. After all, they would soon reach Ostagar, and he wanted to make sure the elf was mentally ready. Sitting down on one of the rocks Duncan unslung his pack and begun to dig for some food, most of his attention was on his new charge however.

The woman didn't answer, instead she only huffed as she sat down in the grass and rested her back against another rock, a hand coming up to dig through her sweaty hair. The helmet Duncan had bought to replace the one she'd lost hung from her belt, she had removed it a couple of hours ago...which showed in the red tint in her normally pale skin. _At least the sun hasn't burnt her all that bad yet_...her armour was the same she had worn when he had recruited her, though patched up so one couldn't spot any damages anymore, and with the blood washed away, of course.

Grumbling the woman pushed the sword he had bought her sideways so it wouldn't get in the way as she leant against the improvised backrest. At first she had enjoyed the 'gift', muttering something about 'longer reach' while swinging it around...but with the reality of her new tasks sinking in and a general grouchiness of their long marches Duncan had noticed her regarding the weapon with more and more annoyance, no doubt finding the weapon heavy to carry around.

_She'll get stronger, as we all did_.

"I asked you a question."

"I...yes, I accept that." Lynn shot him an annoyed look, but it quickly changed to a worried one as he met her gaze. "I mean...sorry, just...grumpy I guess."

"It's understandable." Duncan nodded even as he found an apple in his pack. He tossed it to Lynn, making sure he made the throw as sudden and fast as possible. The elf still caught it though, as he had hoped. _Good, I chose well_. Watching the woman bite down on the fruit with a distant look on her face, not even aware of the small test, he continued: "To leave your family like that, it's draining, all wardens have gone through it in one way or another."

The elf shot him a glance, then took another bite in her apple as her free hand begun to play with the grass around her, tearing chunks of it out of the ground. "It was my duty." She shrugged. "We always do our duty in the alienage, it's how it survives."

"Admirable." Duncan nodded, already well aware of how the elves of the alienages made do with what they had. Though to be fair he knew Lynn was especially good at upholding this ideal, no matter the cost. It was the larger part of why he had chosen her after all. Looking at her he noticed the slight slouch of her shoulders with interest, the...lost look in her eyes. "And it will be good in the days to come, you have a new duty now, with the wardens."

"I...suppose." Lynn nodded, though her shoulders didn't stop slouching at least the lost look in her eyes faded away, a flicker of hope even passing through them. Then it was gone, her gaze turned downwards, to her chest, at the armour.

Duncan had seen it in many recruits, those not really thinking themselves as warriors...they always found wearing armour and weapons strange. Some embraced it, others accepted them as burdens. _Wonder what she will decide upon_? "Your family, how did they take the news?"

The elf grimaced. "That's a little personal isn't it?" She took a bite out of the apple, despite the small mouth of hers she somehow managed to rip half of it off in that one bite. "And why do you care?" The words came in between large bites, making her almost sound childish. "You didn't know them."

"I only knew Cyrion in passing." Duncan admitted, watching Lynn as the elf squirmed under his gaze, as he had seen so many recruits before. "Though that wasn't why I asked. I'm your superior right now, but soon you will be one of us wardens, you will be part of our family, my sister if you will." He watched the woman hesitate at that, the words confusing the already stressed woman, yet bringing her some peace...as they always did. "It will make things easier, I promise."

"Really?" Lynn suddenly flashed him a smile, surprising him, though a second look told him it was a faked one. "Well aren't you observant, compassionate and all those silly things?"

"Lynn..."

"Fine, fine..." The woman looked away, pulled her knees up to her chin and took another huge bite out of her apple, her gaze focused on a distant tree stump.

For a long minute there was no sound but that of the chewing elf and that of the wind blowing through the grass. Duncan waited patiently though, knowing better than to force the issue.

"Father..." Lynn's eyes darted back to her boots. "...wasn't all that surprised actually." She shook her head, a frown on her lips. "He knew something would happen with Vaughan taking us and all...and with you being around...I guess he always wondered if you not taking mother would come back to haunt him." She looked up at him, her eyes neutral.

_Ah, an accusation_. "I did not take her because she was getting married, and Valendrian convinced me not to." Duncan admitted. "There was no blight either, no reason to force the issue with conscription." He moved his hand up to stroke his beard. "She would have made a fine warden though, we could have used her now...I was at her funeral, a lovely service."

"Y-you were?" To her honour nothing but the slight stutter revealed that Lynn was caught off guard by his admission, her face was otherwise carefully neutral.

Duncan nodded. "Indeed, I watched from a distance though, you did not see me. Do you still have her ring?"

"I...do." Lynn's hand moved towards her neck before she caught herself and forced it down. It wasn't important though, Duncan had already spotted the small silver band in the thin string around her throat a day ago. "I guess I should...thank you for attending?"

"There is no need, it was an honour."

Blinking the elf looked away, then blinked again, forcing away whatever tears had been about to break out. "I...yes...well..._Soris_ took it a little harder..." Changing the subject she managed a distant smile. "...though he would never admit it." She shook her head, the smile widening. "He actually tried to say it would be a relief with me gone! Not the easiest thing to pull off when you're crying like a little baby..." The smile turned into a grin. "He always was a bit of a wuss..."

"Nothing wrong with crying." Duncan remarked and noted the sudden grimace on Lynn's face with interest. _Ah, should have known_..._she's_ _one of those that is too proud for such behaviour, that could pose a problem_. "I gather Shianni took it better?"

"Yes, yes she did." Lynn's grin turned into a relieved smile as she leant back against her rock and looked up at the sky. "She's _so_ strong...even after all that...she's already recovering, I think she's even getting stronger then before." She glanced down at Duncan, an odd look on her face. "Maybe you should have recruited her instead?"

Duncan nodded. "Perhaps...but I need people strong of spirit _and_ body, she doesn't reach my standard."

"Then your standard is probably flawed..." Lynn sighed and looked back up at the sky. "She would handle all this better, I'm sure of it."

"I hardly think she would agree with that sentiment."

Lynn laughed and drew her sword, holding the blade out in front of her she looked down the narrow edge with a smile. "That's part what makes her strong I think, oh well...I shouldn't dwell on that, as she no doubt would tell me."

"A good advice." Duncan nodded, watching the elf visibly relax, an unspoken tension disappearing. "It helped, talking, did it not?"

Lynn hesitated, her forehead creasing into a frown. She eyed Duncan, the look in her eyes telling him that she was looking for some sort of insult, or perhaps a taunt. Then she shrugged. "I...suppose it did..."

"Good." Duncan nodded and turned to dig into his backpack once more, to find some water and bread for them both. Especially since Lynn had already practically swallowed her apple... Duncan wasn't surprised, elven recruits from alienages usually ate a lot in the beginning, it was a culture thing, they ate all they could when the opportunity presented itself. _At least it would make becoming a grey warden easier_... "Now eat." 

The woman quickly caught the small loaf of bred and the waterskin tossed to her with a nod of appreciation. "So...this Ostagar..." She glanced at him even as the uncorked the waterskin. "...it's much farther?"

"If you wish to know of it you need only ask, I realise you probably don't know much of what goes on outside of Denerim except for what others might have told you."

"You're calling me stupid?" There was a slight heat in Lynn's voice, a minor narrowing of her eyes as she looked at him, despite Duncan knowing he had gained some of her trust she obviously still kept her defences up. "Because I _could_ take offence."

"I did not, if you were stupid I would not have recruited you." Duncan replied evenly, knowing better then to be impatient with the new recruit. "I merely acknowledge that you might not have had the opportunity to learn much about these things." He inclined his head ever so slightly even as he brought up another waterskin for himself. _Eating can wait to later_. "I am your recruiter, ask me anything and I will do my best to answer."

"Okay, I'll bite." Lynn crossed her legs in front of her as she leant forward, an amused smile on her lips. "What _is_ Ostagar then?"

"Ostagar was the southernmost fortress of the old Tevinter imperium, built to protect them against the chasind, wild people in the forest. With the first blight the empire collapsed however, leaving the fortress to be sacked by the chasind." He watched the elf casually bite down on the bread in her hand, grimacing slightly at its resistance. He knew she was listening though, he had learnt to read such things years ago. "While now a ruin the fortress is still an impressive defensive structure, and a good as any place to defend against the coming blight before it can enter Ferelden herself."

"Right." Lynn pulled her head back as she took a deep drink out of her waterskin with closed eyes,. Moving the back of her hand over her mouth she regarded Duncan with a...wary look on her face. "Now, what of this blight? What do you know of it?"

"I know most of it." Duncan replied, sensing the worry in Lynn, despite her efforts she could not hide it from him. "The question is rather...what do you know? Surely you've only heard what the chantry have told you? And perhaps the odd talk of old blights like some tale of legends? Of the archdemon as an old god?"

"I...yes." The elf admitted, a look of annoyance crossing her face before her features smoothed. "You told me I could ask anything..."

"I did." Duncan nodded. "Never be afraid of asking questions to your fellow wardens, think of them as your family."

"That's pretty hard since I only know you...and that familiarity is just a few days old." Lynn pointed out and took another deep drink from her waterskin, a small gasp escaping her as she removed it from her lips.

"I know, it will come in time though." Duncan agreed. "Now, as to your question. Much I cannot answer, not because I don't want to but because there's no proper words to explain...it can only be experienced." He took a sip from his own waterskin, just enough to moisten his parched lips. "Truth to be told not much is known of the darkspawn save that they come from underground, popping up like weeds as Alistair would call it."

"Alistair?"

"A fellow warden, he'll be in charge of you until you've become a full warden." Duncan waved the question aside. "As to the archdemon, perhaps it is an old god, perhaps not. I only know it looks like a high dragon...but twisted and sick."

"You've seen it?" Lynn asked, unfazed.

"In...a fashion." Duncan hesitated. "You will understand properly once you're a full warden." He took another minimal sip and let the water run around in his mouth before finally swallowing. Lynn seemed ready to ask further, which he knew would just lead to an unnecessary argument. "But your first encounter will be with the darkspawn that make the horde, the lesser creatures that the archdemon uses to cover the land and destroy all who opposes it."

"Sounds lovely." Lynn snorted, looking a little confident. _They always do_... "As long as they're not spiders I can handle them...I hate the things."

"The blight taints all, creatures and man alike." Duncan said, noting the way Lynn's attention waned, probably thinking a lecture was about to come. "No, the main horde will consist of creatures the size of humans and dwarves, twisted mirrors of ourselves as the chantry would say. There are also larger creatures, and those capable of magic, even creatures still partly in the fade."

"Magic?" _That_ got her attention, the elf looking up from nursing her food. "I once saw a healer heal a wounded man...it was..." For a moment she looked almost dreaming...then it was gone as she remembered he was there. "...strange to see."

"You will find many mages in the king's camp if you wish to speak to them." Duncan replied, though Lynn managed to shrug in disinterest he easily saw through her. She looked a little more...spirited all of a sudden. "Still, your main focus should be the joining, the ritual that will make you one of ours." _Or kill you_...

"What _kind_ of ritual?" Lynn's eyes narrowed, her excitement over the idea of meeting mages instantly fading.

"I cannot tell you. Suffice to say it is required of you...and will lead to your first encounter of darkspawn." Duncan turned back to his backpack to find something he'd saved until the new recruit would become a little more talkative...as he always did. "You should be prepared."

"Okay, so...there's different kinds of darkspawn then? And...what?" Lynn shook her head, not really caring all that much by the looks of her, probably believing it would be something minor. "You're the teacher or whatever, so teach."

"There's only so much words can tell you, still, I have minor copy of the grey warden codex, the part that classifies the groups of darkspawn and describes them." Duncan pulled out the leather book, though most of its pages were blank, to be used by the new warden herself, what was already written down often helped. "It's the 'warden's guide to the blight' as Alistair would put it...quite useful." He tossed the book to the elf.

Catching the book the woman put the book into her lap and looked down at it, an odd look of apprehension on her face. "You...can't tell me yourself or something?" She shot him a glare. "Or is that too much of a bother?"

"My description of them would be just as detailed as what's been written, neither I nor it can truly prepare you though...still..it might prove useful for you." He eyed the tome with a knowing look. "And it is good if you get familiar with it quickly, all wardens have one for noting their observations of creatures and the like that they encounter, if they note something new it's added to the Grey warden archives in Weisshaupt fortress, our headquarters."

"I...yes...but...come _on_." Lynn cocked her head to the side and smiled sweetly at him. "Can't you just tell me? Like a bonding experience?"

_Ah_...

"Lynn...can you read?"

"What!?" Lynn recoiled, an angry look on her face. "Of course I can!" The anger turned to a pout even as Dukan noted a slight tinge of red to the tip of her ears, despite them nearly completely covered by her dark hair. "I mean...I just read...kind of slowly?" She looked down at her food, eyes bitter. "It's not like I've gotten a lot of practice..."

Duncan wasn't surprised by the revelation, she lived in an alienage after all, only to her admission of such a weakness. _Maybe she's not as overly proud as I thought she'd be_? _Good_. "That is a problem, but one we can overcome, I'll have Alistair teach you."

"_Help_ me." Lynn raised an index finger in protest. "I _can_ read after all."

"Very well, help you read faster then." Duncan nearly chuckled at that, but kept his amusement in check. _I hope she survives the joining_... "Though I suspect you have to explain the distinction to him as well, he has a quirky sense of humour."

Lynn scoffed and crossed her arms in front herself as she looked away, decidedly irritated. "And _I_ have a quirky tendency to stab people in the kidneys..." 

_This_ time Duncan chuckled.


	6. Chapter 6

Back in Denerim Lynn had always lived in the shadow of fort Drakon, it was one of those facts of life, the centre of power every citizen of the capital was aware of. Yet _not_...Lynn didn't remember even glancing at the great fortress and its impressive tower for years, it was just part of the sky to her, as distant and constant as the clouds in the sky.

As such she found herself in awe as she saw the massive structure dwarfing her.

Craning her neck she vainly tried to get a better overlook of the fortress of Ostagar. But the only thing that could be safely concluded was that the building had been, and still was, a huge thing of grey stone that looked so invincible that Lynn couldn't imagine any barbarian even _considering_ to attack it.

Sure, she could see the damages wrought by wind and time, the way the fortress was slowly being conquered by the forest...right now however, it was a silent mark to what glories the ancient Tevinter empire was capable of. Sure she had heard of the evils the old empire committed...but considering that Ferelden herself was capable of equally harsh thing...she was willing to view the fortress for what it was, an impressive memorial of old glory.

She barely noticed Duncan stopping, only doing so herself since she had gotten used to following him, despite her penchant for walking first. Wiping the sweat out of her face, something she didn't have to do as often now as she was getting used to the pace the long-legged human set, she eyed the closest wall to her right, noting the way the heavy rocks of it still looked as solid as they must have been the day they had been placed there.

_Wonder how long it took to get them all here? I don't see much in the way of mountains_..._wow_... Then Lynn remembered the empire's use of elven slaves. Grimacing she spat at it.

"Careful now, that is my property." A voice, so different from Duncan's sombre calm spoke up, this one sounding carefree and youthful. Turning Lynn made to snap at the man...and stopped as she noticed Duncan's little shake of his head. Biting her tongue she regarded the stranger who had spoken up...and who was still chuckling at his own words for some reason.

The man was _tall_, that was the first thing she noticed, not to mention rich, or so the golden plate armour covering him spoke of. _Not to mention he said he owned this place_... Lynn frowned at the thought, finding it curious even as she eyed the overall handsome face of the man, how the grey eyes sparkled as he turned to look at Duncan, how the blond hair of his was long and perfectly combed behind his ears. It was..._odd_ seeing such a carefree person at this place, for some reason Lynn had expected a camp of warriors to be filled with...sombre people. Not _this_ that was for sure.

At least the two soldiers further back, dressed in heavy steel plate armour and dark helmets hiding their features, fit her expectations....they seemed to regard her as she inched closer to the blonde man and Duncan, but did nothing to stop her. _They know I'm to be a warden_?_ Or don't they fear an elf_?

"Hello there Duncan, it's good to see you." The golden man said with a smile, took a step forward and offered his hand, gripping Duncan's forearm in a greeting Lynn hadn't observed before. _What a strange custom_..._is that a handshake or_...? The blonde man cocked his head to the side with a wry smile. "Was beginning to worry you'd miss all the fun."

"Not if I could help it your majesty." Duncan replied, face as serious as always even as he bowed his head.

_'Your majesty'_..._that's the king_!? Lynn took a step back in sudden fright, some primal part of her mind making the images of all the people she'd killed flicker before her eyes. _Calm down! He doesn't know, nor is he here to personally arrest you, he's the king_..._the king_! Lynn's mouth dried up as the man turned to look at her, his eyes so friendly it was nearly laughable. "And this must be your new recruit I imagine, hello there friend!"

_The king called you 'friend'_..._maybe you should answer him_? "Go-good day Cai-I mean king Ca- I mean your majesty." Lynn felt the tips of her ears burn even as the smile of the man somehow managed to get wider. _Come on_! _You've talked to powerful men before_! _Not just_..._maker it's the king_! Taking a deep breath, much to the amusement of the tall man looking down at her she managed to continue: "I...I'm Lynn Tabris."

"Well hello there Lynn Tabris. A pleasure to make your acquaintance." Cailan bowed, making him the second human to shock Lynn with such undeserved courtesy. "It is good that you are here, the grey wardens need all the recruits they can get, especially now." The man nodded to his own words, his eyes flickering sideways with a hint of seriousness in his face...then the smile resumed as he straightened. "I cannot help but notice that you're an elf, do your perhaps hail from an alienage. My advisers never let me near them...may you tell me what it's like?"

_He doesn't_..._know_? Lynn blinked, unsure if she was supposed to be relieved that her king didn't support the harsh life she had been born into, or angry at his obliviousness. Still, she knew to be diplomatic, the look Duncan was giving her only reinforced the need for it. "It...teaches you to make do with what you have...your majesty."

"Fine words." Cailan nodded with a grin and took a step back, apparently not noticing what her words implied. "As do we all, don't we Duncan?"

The warden moved a hand to his mouth and carefully cleared his throat. "Your majesty, bann Teagan sends words that arl Eamon's soldiers are less then a weeks march away."

"Ha! He just wants to share some of the glory." The king scoffed and patted Duncan's shoulder with a reassuring smile, something the impassive warden didn't seem to need as he eyed Cailan with an odd look in his eyes. "No, we've defeated the darkspawn three times already, tonight will prove no different."

_Tonight_!? _Already_!? Lynn felt a little overwhelmed by the news, she hadn't expected everything to move so...fast._ No wonder Duncan pushed the pace_...

"If we don't offer battle but keep atop the walls the darkspawn will surely wait another week." Duncan analysed, face set in stone.

"No, this ends here, now." Cailan replied, a slight annoyance in his eyes, but which quickly faded and turned into a grin. "Don't worry, with the grey wardens at his side, what king could lose?" The man raised his hands in front of him, clenching them in eagerness, almost looking childish all of a sudden. "I can barely wait! It will be glorious!"

"Very well, the wardens are with you your majesty, we will end this blight."

"_If_ it's a blight, there's been no sign of any archdemon yet." Cailan protested with a raised finger, pouting ever so slightly.

"Disappointed your majesty?" Duncan was good at staying unreadable, but Lynn was on the other hand good at reading people...and she had spent nearly a week with him now. Which meant that she understood that the extra neutrality in Duncan's voice meant the warden disapproved.

"I was hoping for something greater, something worth of a great tale." Cailan shrugged, a small laugh bubbling out of him. "But I suppose this will have to do." His gaze darted to Lynn, smiling wryly. "I'll make do..." Then he suddenly sighed, somehow making the sound sound cheerful. "Oh but now I really must go, before Loghain sends out a seach party." He bowed his head at them again, gaze once more darting over to Lynn for some reason. "Goodbye wardens."

"Goodbye your majesty." Duncan said even as Cailain begun to leave, his guards at his heel. Lynn didn't manage to answer though, still a bit in shock by what had transpired.

_That had been the king, the king_! She eyed the golden mane of hair as the man moved towards a seizable bridge she could only barely make out with all the marching troops around, her body somewhat numb from the encounter.

Then Duncan blocked her vision as the warden demonstratively stepped in front of her. "The king is right, they have defeated the darkspawn three times already."

Shaking her head Lynn focus returned to the present. _Did I just get_..._starstruck_!? Lynn grimaced at the thought. "Isn't that good news?"

"Yes." Duncan took a step backwards, now sure she was paying attention."But as Cailan said there has been no sight of the archdemon, and we wardens know one has awakened."

"How do you know that?" Lynn asked, finding herself more and more curious about this strange order by each day. Despite his promise there was still so much Duncan kept secret from her, hiding it behind 'you'll see' or 'it cannot be explained' whenever she asked.

"It cannot be explained." Lynn nearly sighed at the expected reply. "But you will see in due time." _Dammit_..._if I don't get to know more soon I'll explode_!

"Okay, okay...I get it." Lynn raised her hand in surrender. _Hmm, maybe that Alistair man could be made more_..._talkative_? "Still, how is this _bad_ news? You'd think the lack of an angry dragon creature would be a cause for celebration."

"Because the archdemon leads the main horde of the blight." Duncan explained and crossed his arms in front of himself. "Which means these are just the first initial strikes...and yet the force now gathering south of us will outnumber us."

Lynn blinked, not really understanding what numbers they were talking of. "How many are there in the force opposite us now?"

"Nearly twenty thousand." Duncan replied impassively, face calm as he watched Lynn's eyes widen. _Twenty thousand_..._there exist such numbers_!? "Our force is nearly twelve thousand strong, but we can rout the enemy." He sighed, suddenly looking a little...tired as he turned away from her and looked up at the central tower of the castle. "I do not doubt we can emerge victorious, but what of later? When the true horde arrives?"

Still surprised by the weariness in Duncan's voice Lynn spoke up: "Well...the king seems to think we'll do alright."

"He is the king, he must always appear confident." Duncan replied, once more in control of his voice. "Still, it's easy for him to appear confident, this is the kind of thing he's devoted to, he loves the glorious tales of wars and battles, especially the ones against the blight."

"Well...if you have the ear of the king, can't you ask him to pull back so that Eamon's men can get here?" Lynn argued. Admittedly she didn't know much about military matters...but more men with swords couldn't be wrong...could it? "He seems to regard you highly."

"He regards all wardens highly." Duncan shrugged ever so slightly. "But he wishes glory, and he wants it quickly. Eamon isn't the only one who hasn't arrived after all, the Orlesians with a detachment of wardens Cailan asked to join has yet to arrive, with them we would be much stronger."

"Orlesians? As in _the_ orlesians?" Lynn made a face. "Aren't we at war or something? Or did Cailan forget that?"

"That was thirty years ago." Duncan replied, the little extra calm in his voice telling Lynn he was disapproving of her words, making her bow her head despite her best efforts to meet his gaze. "And when it comes to the blight there are no wars between nations." His hand darted up to stroke his beard. "Though that is sometimes hard to convince others of." The small confession made Lynn chuckle. "No, for better or worse, the battle will occur tonight, meaning we must get your joining under way, yours and that of two other recruits in fact."

_Awfully short timetable_...Lynn didn't speak her mind though, sure that Duncan would simply say something of necessity and the need of the many. Instead she simply squared her shoulders. "Can't imagine you'll actually tell me _what_ it's about yet..." The look on Duncan's face confirmed her suspicion. "..so I'm going to ask who these two recruits are instead."

"A thief from Denerim named Daveth and Ser Jory, a knight of Eamon's." _Daveth_...she hadn't heard of him, probably one of the human thieves that enjoyed sneaking around in the wealthier parts of town.

_So it is him, me and a knight...huh_. "You wardens recruit odd people." Was it just her or was there a hint of that ever elusive smile under Duncan's beard? "I suppose we'll be led by that Alistair man you mentioned?"

"Correct." Duncan motioned for her to follow and lead them towards the bridge where Cailan had disappeared to. The warden, uncaring of the stares the two received from a few guards posted in the corners, kept his gaze on her as they walked, forcing her to look back instead of shooting the inquisitive guards a glare. "He will take you three to where you are needed. I'd advice you to at least meet your fellow recruits, perhaps eat something...and then find him, after that there will be little rest, I can assure you."

Lynn snorted. "Oh yes, because we've had _sooo_ much rest so far." She rolled her eyes. "Is this some part of my test to become a warden too? To see how long I can endure with minimal sleep and little rest in general?"

"Yes." Duncan answered, making Lynn take a step back in surprise. "You've gotten stronger this week have you not? It will be of use. As to being tired...it will be needed in the night to come, it will make things easier." He looked at her evenly, not betraying anything, yet there was _something_ with the words...that bothered her.

"That sounds..._weird_." Lynn looked away and shrugged. "Still, I'm sure you're right...you've been right so far." She snorted at her words, annoyed by her admitting such a thing. She was right...but she didn't like complementing shems, however good they might be. _Maker_..._am I already warming up to this man? Just because he saved my life and kept the alienage from being burnt down and_..._never_ _mind_. Rolling her eyes at her inner monologue she shook her head. "So, can I go?"

"Yes, I have some things to attend to, but once you've found Alistair I want you to come to me right away, I'll be by the fire by the king's tent." Duncan once more motioned for her to move towards the now nearby bridge, making her turn and...gasp.

The bridge was partly broken, yet there were many soldiers manning it, rolling up ballistas and setting up extra defences at a calm pace, some of them laughing as they worked. On the other side she could through the holes in the large wall see the rest of the king's camp. But that wasn't what made her gasp. Below the bridge there was a long drop...and then so many tents that Lynn had to look twice. "That must be..."

"The king's army, yes." Duncan concluded, watching her with something close to amusement. "Quite a few men at arms isn't it?"

"Yes..." Lynn whispered, still taken with the sight of so many _tents_...so many..._people_. Sure, she knew there were many people living in Denerim, she had seen her share of crowds. But far below...it was a camp full of only soldiers, so many in one place she couldn't really...conceive it...it was too large to understand. "This is...bigger then I thought it would be."

Tearing her eyes off the many tents she found that Duncan had left, the man slowly making his way over the bridge, apparently knowing to leave her to her gaping alone.

Smiling at the small mercy Lynn made her second realisation in as many seconds. _I'm here, at the top, with Duncan, the king and some warden recruits_..._while the army is down there_. That in itself wasn't so surprising, that the king and important people stayed in a camp above and separate from the main army, Lynn could easily see the benefits of it...yet there was the fact that she was in the _above_ camp, in the _important_ one.

_I'm_..._important_? Of course she knew wardens were regarded as such, but her? Never..._yet here I am_.

_I'm_ _important_.

Straightening Lynn felt a little better about it all...and moved to find her soon to be fellow wardens.


	7. Chapter 7

"I have had quite enough of you wardens and your demands."

_Oh I'm so surprised, really, watch me gasp_."I'm sorry ser mage, but this isn't a demand but a request...and it doesn't come from the wardens but from the revered mother." Alistair rubbed the back of his head, watching the somewhat pudgy man opposite him squint at him in irritation he wasn't even trying to conceal. "She wanted me to bring you a message."

"And what message was _that_?" The mage snorted, practically spitting at Alistair.

_I've already told you, you would know this if you hadn't been busy coming up with poorly concealed insults_. "The revered mother asked to see you....that's all." Alistair felt awkward and silently cursed the revered mother for placing him in the situation to start with. His templar self itched to slap the mage for blatantly insulting him, his warden self was just groaning over not having something better to do...and his human self just wanted to punch the man's lights out. "I believe she wants to show you her pictures of her grandchildren or something...I would hurry if I were you."

He was dimly aware of someone appearing in the periphery of his vision, but ignored it as the mage pushed his index finger against Alistair's chest, his face twisted into a grimace. "Is that supposed to be funny!?"

Alistair managed a lopsided grin in reply. "Well...I try." With some satisfaction he watched the mage pull back in surprise. "I'm just saying that if you keep the revered mother waiting it will be on your head, not mine. As to what she wants..." He shrugged, looking as innocent as he could. "...does it matter?"

A muffled grunt escaped the mage at that, along with a slight shift of his stance and a flicker of that fabled mage intellect in his eyes, an intellect that so far hadn't played a large part in their conversation... "No, it does not." Then he shot Alistair a new glare. "But I find _your_ deliverance of said message sadly lacking!" He begun to move away...

"And here I thought we were getting along so well." The words just slipped out, making the mage look back, eyes narrowed in anger. _Oh you've done it now Alistair, oh well_..._might as well go all the way_. "I was even considering inviting you for dinner, some candles, some wine and a roast...you'd love it." In the distance he heard an ever so small chuckle, but forced himself to remain focused on the mage. _You never know when he'll try a fireball_...

"Dinner?" The mage asked, the man obviously not understanding a joke when he heard it. _Mages_..._they're_ _so dry that you can use them as firewood_. "Are you serious? Or is this a case of lyrium withdrawal?"

"Oh how you _wound_ me, I'm hurt, really." Alistair took a large step backwards and clutched at his chest, eyelids fluttering as he _oh_ _so_ dramatically died.

The mage merely snorted, not clever enough to come with a matching retort. "Cute...now _excuse_ me." Whirling about he stalked across the floor of what remained of the old turret, brushing past the woman that was standing there in a great huff. "Out of my way fool!"

_Aww, and I was just beginning to enjoy myself_...still grinning over the encounter Alistair turned to properly face the new arrival. "You know, there's just something about a blight that makes people come together, it warms the heart." He bowed his head ever so slightly. "Oh and...hello."

The woman tilted her head to the side and smirked, something in the move making him stop mid-stride. Because of Duncan's message Alistair already knew the last recruit would be an elven woman...yet it still came as a bit of a shock as just how _small_ she was...not only was she a short elf, but she was also so thin...just skin and bones. The high cheekbones and narrow chin made her face somewhat triangular...her skin was pale under the somewhat dishevelled black hair of hers...and the dark amber eyes of hers were awfully large as they looked up into his own.

_Uh oh_...still frozen Alistair stared at the woman as she approached him, something in her walk making a flush begin around his neck. _This could get awkward, don't screw up, don't screw up_... "Hello there." The woman's voice was a low whisper, forcing Alistair to lean forward to properly hear her, which didn't make things better as she stopped closer to him then Alistair thought properly. _Maybe it's an elven thing_...? "You must be...Alistair?" _Maker she's cute_...

"I am." Alistair choked out, trying to pull back, only to find the elf following, apparently uncaring about his need for personal space. "...and you must be Duncan's latest recruit." He shot out his hand in greeting, his other coming up to rub the back of his head as he forced himself to keep smiling.

"A _pleasure_..." The woman whispered back, a small smile on her lips, that for a moment turned to a confused frown as she glanced at the way he grabbed her by the forearm...but quickly returned to the bothersome smile as she looked back up at him. "...I'm Lynn Tabris...I'll be _under_ you...in a manner of speaking."

Alistair spluttered and withdrew his arms, shocked by the words and what they implied. The woman merely chuckled, the sound somehow making his blushing worse. "Yeah well...I..." He cleared his throat and suppressed the urge to get his shield to keep between the two of them. _How did this_..._did I give her the wrong impression with my hello_!? "...am just the junior warden really, it's my duty to oversee the initiation of new recruits like yourself." He cocked his head to the side, feeling the need to add something less official. "You know...I've noticed the grey wardens don't have a lot of...eh..." He watched the woman imitate his move, cocking her head to the side with a minimal smirk. "...that is...hehe..."

"What?" The woman stepped even closer, her left arm coming up so she could rest her forearm against Alistair's chest, freezing him dead, her smile equally entrancing as her closeness. _Maker_..._did Duncan conscript a desire demon or something_!? "Elves...?" The smile became wry. "...or _women_?"

"Eh, well that is...hehe." Alistair swallowed, uncomfortable to the point he was about to run away...if only his legs would obey him. In fact he felt so numb it was a small miracle he was still standing... "Women I guess...there's not many of them in the wardens..."

"Well maybe they should have _you_ do the recruiting instead of Duncan?" The woman suggested, chuckling even so slightly. "I'm _sure_ more women would sign up then..."

"I..." Alistair wanted to die, his face red. "...eh...I don't know what to say...thank you?"

"So..." The elf's right hand came up, her fingers idly playing across his splint mail covered chest. _Maker_..._how can anyone look so innocent and so wicked at the same time_!? "...you wouldn't happen to know anything about this joining ritual...do you?"

_Eh_?

"I've...had my own already..." Alistair managed, finding it somewhat difficult to speak with the woman so close..._why does she smell of grass_? _And why do I like it_!? "...so yes, I know of it...you'll have yours soon." S_he already knows that you idiot_..._well that was fun as long as it lasted, I'm tired of eating feet_...

To his surprise the woman simply chuckled at his stupid reply, her smile never fading. "That's good to know...but I'm curious...what's it about?"

"I..." Alistair shook his head, forcing some of his templar discipline to make itself known. "...can't tell you that I'm afraid."

"Why not?" Lynn looked up at him with large eyes, so innocent...Alistair felt himself melt a little. "I won't tell..." 

"I-" He had to shake his head once more, this time some irritation sneaking itself into his numbness. "No, I can't tell you, really."

"_Pleeease_?" Somehow her eyes managed to get larger, her lips puckering in such an adorable pout that the only reason Alistair didn't kiss her right there and then was that he could barely feel his face anymore, never mind move his head. "I'm a little scared..."

Alistair hesitated. _It wouldn't be so bad would it_?_ She would still have to go through with it after all, and if she didn't tell him Duncan would never know and I would_..._by the spirits what am I thinking_!? Putting his hands on Lynn shoulders he managed a weak enough grip to push her off himself, however much it pained him. "No, I'm afraid I can't tell you...and you can't really avoid it anyway, so why be scared of something inevitable?"

The elf blinked, a look of utter confusion on her face for some reason. "I...see?" She blinked again, the adorable look fading as she looked up at Alistair with a face that was surprisingly neutral. "Well...I suppose it was worth a shot." Crossing her arms in front of her she took a step back, finally giving him proper space.

_Wait_..._what_? "What, exactly, was worth a shot?" Alistair queried, feeling his blush fade as he more warily watched the woman. Only now did he notice her chainmail armour, the sword and dagger strapped to her back, that she had the stance of someone who could fight..._how had I failed to notice that_!?

"Oh nothing." The woman waved the question aside with a cocked head and a minor smile. "So, what was that thing with the mage about? A bit brave to face one on your own isn't it? They're quite powerful from what I understand..."

_What the_..._is this the same woman_?_ She sound so casual all of a sudden_... Puzzled Alistair ignored his own question in favour of hers, briefly wondering how much he dared answering before he said: "Oh that? The chantry doesn't like mages outside the tower, that with them being difficult to control in the open and all that." He shrugged. "So the revered mother likes to send messages to the mages to remind them."

"Remind them of what?" Lynn asked, an eyebrow raised.

Alistair smiled and wagered a finger at the woman. "That _we're watching you_..."

The elf scoffed at that. "Ah, sounds like the alienage all over again..." Before Alistair could ask her about that little piece of information she continued: "...but what about you? Why are you, a warden, delivering messages for the chantry?"

"She ambushed me to be honest." Alistair confessed, a lopsided grin on his face as he rubbed the back of his head. "Just told me to 'be a dear' and give the message to the mage...how she could do that while at the same time scowling at me is beyond me." The woman chuckled at the idea, if but a little. "Which put me in a bit of an awkward position, since even though I'm a warden I was once training to become a templar..." He rolled his eyes. "As if the message she wanted to send couldn't be clear enough already..."

"Templar? Those chantry warrior-priests?" The elf frowned, looking him up and down with a critical eye. "You don't _look_ like a templar..." _Is that an insult or a compliment_? Nothing in her stance revealed her opinion however, leaving Alistair's unspoken question unanswered.

"Self-righteous and sprouting prayers?" Alistair tried, making the woman scoff. "Well I could always give it a try, but it gets old _reeeal_ fast..."

Lynn laughed, a hand coming to rest against a mail-covered throat. "Heh, I guess that explains daring to have an attitude with a guy that could burn you to a crisp...you're quite brave aren't you?" The last she added with a warmer smile, confounding Alistair._ Is she just playing me or_..._Maker where does Duncan find these people_!?

"Well he had it-" _Oh_ _no_. "Dammit." Alistair sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose as he lowered his face. "Duncan is going to kill me...we're supposed to play nice with all the factions around, not make more enemies."

"I thought you said she ambushed you?"

"She did but..." Alistair's shoulders dropped. "Duncan always says I should be more decisive, able to say no and all that...yet I keep forgetting it seems." He managed a brave smile as he looked back at the woman. "Oh well, always something to work on, right?"

He found the woman staring back at him, a look of bafflement on her face, which quickly disappeared as she realised he was looking back at her. "You are...very strange."

Alistair grinned, feeling a little more confident. "That's what they keep telling me."

"Right..." The recruit arched an amused eyebrow at him. "...I'll take your word for it." Then she finally dropped her arms to her sides, her head turning left and right as she eyed the ruined tower they were in. "So...what now? We go meet Duncan? I sort of haven't eaten...I found you first."

"I'm sure Duncan won't be mad at you for a quick meal before going to meet him." Alistair rolled his eyes. "Besides, he'll be busy chewing me out for angering the mages." The elf nodded in silent agreement, an odd look on her face. "So if you wish I can lead you to the mess, it's not far from here." He moved past her towards the stairs leading down, then blushed as he remembered his manners. "Oh damn...I'm sorry." The elf shot him a curious look as he took a step to the side and gestured towards the stairs. "Ladies first."

This time both her eyebrows shot up, the curious look not leaving her face as a hand moved towards her ear...before quickly dropping back down. "Well aren't we polite..." She shook her head, then brushed past him while muttering something about 'humans' and 'strangeness' under her breath.

Alistair moved to follow, brow furrowing as he noticed her way of walking had changed. Now it was long and quick strides, far from the walk that had made him blush not a few moments ago. He shook his head. Great, and he was supposed to be _in charge_ of this one!?

_Yeah_..._reeeal funny Duncan_...

*

*

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	8. Chapter 8

_This day is getting painfully long already_.

First the meal she had managed to wolf down was undercooked, which was understandable considering how many people was being served...but still meant that the lumps of potatoes and nearly raw meat was like a heavy stone at the bottom of her stomach. Second she hadn't managed to make the shem warden in charge of her tell her about the joining ritual, the man surprising her by shaking off her best efforts at being charming...which bugged her to no end. Third she was out in a swamp that was pretending to be a forest...and which faintly smelled of vomit and mould for some reason.

And _fourth_ she had just been attacked by some crazy wolves! Reminding her all too much of the times she had put down rabid dogs back in the alienage.

Suffice to say, things could be better.

And now to compound this she was faced with this...man. Not only was the gruesome picture of slain men and cows disturbing enough to make her already weary stomach churn with worry, but she was also faced with this crawling..._thing_ called a man.

"They...just came out of the ground...killed us all..." The man coughed, a hand coming up towards Lynn's boot. "...help...me."

Disgusted Lynn pulled her boot back from the grasping hands and snorted. "Really? _Why_?" She glanced at the broken carts around. _Nothing of value there_... "Why waste my time when you can't pay anything? Besides, I got more important things to do than help some shem who can't do his job properly. Scouting party my ass..."

"Lynn!"

_Oh crap_..._forgot about the others_. Groaning inwardly Lynn rubbed her weary eyes with her fingers, vainly trying to ease some of the pressure off. It wasn't that she didn't like to help people...or at least elves, but getting something out of it would be good. Of course she knew some people found that attitude offensive and made sure not to show it to those people. But with all that had happened...she wasn't surprised she had slipped up, only that it had happened so _soon_.

Turning she found the three humans staring at her with unhidden shock. Especially Alistair looked as if she had just grown a second head. Forcing her features to soften Lynn gestured towards the forest. "Look...we don't really have time anyway, we've got a whole forest to look through. And may I just point out that if he'd done his job properly they wouldn't have gotten ambushed and-"

"And that means we can just leave him to rot? One mistake and goodbye?" Alistair interrupted, his forehead creasing into a frown. _Well at least he's easier to read then Duncan_... "And we have time, I'm a warden remember? I can sense the darkspawn we need."

_And the documents as well_? Lynn didn't dare ask the question though, instead she stepped to the side and made herself lean up against one of the gore streaked wagons with a casual look on her face. "Very well, you're the _boss_, if you _think_ we have the time to help him, then we _have_ the time."

The man hesitated at that, something in her words apparently not sitting well with him, he quickly shrugged it off though as he freed the pack from his back. "Yes, _I'm_ in charge, and _I_ say we'll help this man." With that he moved to help the wounded soldier.

"This reminds me of something..." Ser Jory suddenly spoke up as Alistair kept to his attempt at helping the man...somewhat clumsily by the looks of things. The tall knight moved to scratch the top of his balding skull as he frowned down at the elf. "You...killed that prisoner back in camp...by the infirmary...I don't rightly know why I haven't thought about it too much..."

_I do_.

She hadn't killed that human prisoner out of some sort of twisted delight, which the grimaces of the men opposing her seemed to indicate, it had simply been the smartest alternative. Sure, she had felt some pleasure in actually being in a superior position to a human, sure it had felt good to have such power over a shem all of a sudden...and to exercise it. But that hadn't been the _reason_ for killing him. No, she simply hadn't wished to leave any witnesses that might talk of the elf warden he traded some stolen goods to, simple as that.

The guard had been simple enough to deal with, the man clearly didn't like the prisoner to start with, and didn't protest at the least when Lynn had shown him the key and told him that the law demanded the death penalty for anyone stealing from the mages. He had then easily accepted her speaking of her responsibility to go and deliver the key herself. It would lead to no confessions, no questions...all was neatly arranged. Sure there was a danger of the guard mentioning the warden and her words to someone that actually _knew_ the law, or a mage who knew of the safe box and its enduring lack of key...but she deemed the chances of _that_ minimal.

Of course things had gotten a bit harder when Jory had arrived, since the man knew that wardens really didn't walk around upholding the law...and as a knight he probably had at least a suspicion that Lynn just made up the idea of death penalty. They had never gotten that far though, instead he had greeted her...then remarked upon how cold it was just to kill a man like that.

_And I had been smart and talked about how warm I could be_...

That had of course lead to Jory withdrawing while hurriedly sprouting something about his wife...and then Lynn had easily steered the conversation in that direction. A few innocent questions...and she was in the clear.

_But not any more_.

Feeling a little cornered she eyed the three men as they helped the wounded, and now bandaged, man to his feet so he could begin take his first stumbling steps back towards the camp, all the while muttering a meek 'thank you'. As she watched the wounded man hurried his steps a little, obviously wanting to get away from the strange wardens and their argument. It took a bit of effort not to snort at it. _Aren't human soldiers supposed to be tough_? _Or did they lie to us about that to keep us afraid_? _Damn_ _shems_... "What? He was a criminal, why do you care?"

"One does not just kill criminals." Alistair's frown worsened as he took a step forward, pointing an accusing finger at her. "Nor does one leave ones allies to die because they can't help you further." His eyes narrowed, watching her with an odd wariness: "First you are all sweet and...whatever...and then _this_? What are you playing at?"

Lynn cleared her throat, suddenly nervous. _This is not the best time to find out that this foolish looking warden is deceptively observant_... She managed an angry look though, her fists clenching and face screwing up in false fury. "Back in the alienage they kill elves that break the law on the spot, you're telling me this doesn't apply to you humans?" Of course it was a lie, they always took them to the prison first to judge them guilty, Lynn had escaped from it more then once after all...

"W-what?" Alistair blinked, the pointing finger wavering as the other two looked at him with a mixture of confusion and embarrassment. "Of course not! I didn't mean to..." He sighed, a hand coming up to rub the back of his head. _Man he does that a lot_..._strange habit_. "...look, one doesn't kill criminals on the spot, elves or humans...it doesn't matter."

"Oh, so now you're trying to say we're _equal_ under the law or something? Trying to deny what actually happens in Ferelden?" Lynn huffed, still scowling at the men, making them look away with ashamed looks on their faces. Lynn suppressed a grin at the sight. _Heh, being an elf isn't all bad_..._got to love the 'angry elf' game_... "I can't believe you're that _naïve_!"

Alistair groaned ever so little, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Look, I didn't meant to imply...just that...oh I'm going to get a headache aren't I?"

Laughing inwardly Lynn continued her game. "Ah, so thinking about your crimes is too much of a bother is it? Does it hurt you to think that your people aren't the noble humans that you thought they were?"

"Wha-" Alistair shook his head, groaning in frustration. "Look, I don't really think of humans as 'my people'...and I've not _committed_ any crimes!" His voice rose an octave at the end, nearly making Lynn chuckle.

_Good, now he's on the defensive_... "You say that, but who knows what you've done before we met..." She turned her glare into a sweet smile. "...maybe seducing elven ladies off their maidenhood with the promise of staying with such a cute human?"

The man spluttered at the change of tone, the others just stared at her with wide eyes, utterly confused no doubt. "What the...? I ne...how do you come up with this stuff!?" Alistair took a step back, his neck reddening.

Sighing Lynn rolled her eyes and gestured at the forest. "Right, whatever, I don't feel like listening to you three assuring me of your non-racism anymore...can we go?"

"I...yes...of course." Alistair muttered, his accusations forgotten as he, still flustered, moved to follow Lynn, much to her amusement. _Heh, leading a human_..._well there has to be a first for everything**..**_**.**

Jory ruined the amusing moment though as they moved past the broken carts. "A whole patrol slaughtered...just like that?" His hushed whisper quickly turned to a louder complaint. "How many darkspawn lurks around here? A hundred? A thousand? Coming here just the four of us is madness."

"Don't worry, the bulk of the horde has withdrawn to gather up numbers for tonight." Alistair replied, his tone calm. _Darkspawn_..._I still don't get what the big deal is about them_. Listening in on one ear as she headed towards some old ruin that might have been part of Ostagar once, but which was now was falling apart and being covered by lichen, Lynn glanced back at Alistair as the man continued: "Besides, I'm a warden and can sense the creatures, there's no _hundred_ of them around."

Lynn couldn't help but smirk. "Oh? So there's ninety-nine or less then?"

Alistair laughed and shot her a lopsided grin. "Exactly! And with your sharp tongue and my ability to eat feet they'll stand no chance!"

Of course Jory didn't find any amusement in the discussion, the man was sweating profusely despite the cold, eyes darting left and right: "I don't know...I'm a knight, but even I know not to fight more foes then I can handle, and if they're darkspawn...how many of those things can one man slay?"

"Duncan has slain hundreds on his own." Alistair replied, a hint of pride in his voice. "But more to the point...there's not enough of them here to pose too much danger." He rolled his eyes. "Well, that is, not more danger than engaging beasts of pure evil ought to be..."

"Well isn't _that_ a relief?" Daveth piped in, amused. "See ser knight? We might be killed by, but at least we'll stand a chance."

"How comforting..." Jory remarked, tone dry. "Did I mention I have a wife with child on the way? I don't want her to-"

"Yes, _yes_ we've heard the story of you and your wife." Daveth groaned. "I thought you would be used to risking your life..._ser_ knight?" The taunt drew a small chuckle out of Lynn, making the other thief instantly throw her a wink. _Well it is a little funny_..._the toughest of us the most frightened_...

"Sorry, I just find this whole deal...strange." Jory shook his head. "Have we not all shown our worth already? Why send us out here in the wilds where we barely know how many darkspawn opposes us for some of their blood? Surely they had time to get some beforehand?"

"It's a test ser knight, surely you realise this." Daveth argued, his irritation a little more tangible this time.

"I already _told_ you, I can sense the darkspawn, it's part of what it means to be a grey warden." Alistair sighed. "And yes, you're here not only to get the blood and those documents...but there's also the fact that none of you have yet _seen_ a darkspawn, and no fully-fledged grey warden should never have seen the beasts he is supposed to fight."

Lynn, feeling bored, whirled about and narrowed her eyes at Alistair, to her amusement the man took a step back. "_He_?"

"Well...of course I meant 'she' as well, it's just that I didn't...err...think of it?" He offered her an innocent shrug and an awkward smile, nearly making her laugh despite her decision to make him squirm a little longer.

"Really? And why is that? I'm not feminine enough to you?"

"Oh no! No, no!" Alistair raised both hands in surrender even as Daveth smirked at Jory...who looked back with a confused look on his face. "You're very fe-" The warden shifted, uncomfortable under her amused glower. "I mean I know that you're...ehe..." Then he blinked and looked over her shoulder, almost sounding relieved as he cried out: "Oh look! Darkspawn!"

Still grinning Lynn turned towards these _oh so evil_ creatures...and froze mid-step.

Three of them were coming at them, their steel-clad feet throwing chunks of earth into the air as they hurtled towards the group. Behind them Lynn spotted three others, smaller then the first three, draw their bows in readiness to fire.

Someone cried out as the other three in the group moved to meet the charge...and suddenly one of them was swinging at Lynn!

Jumping back she stared at the creature. _Hurlock_...the description in the codex Duncan had given her did it no justice, couldn't truly describe it. The light plate armour it wore was stained with grime and dirt, as if the creature had just dug itself out of a grave, making her wonder if it was truly a living creature. The sword swinging at her was curved and jagged, stained by old blood and so vicious-looking it sent chills down her spine just looking at it. Chills making her movement sluggish as she tried to avoid the scything blade, a blade that seemed to thirst for his blood, to gut her and leave he gasping for air as she slowly struggled...

_Evil_.

And then there was the creature itself. The codex said it was supposed to be as tall as a human, but as it towered above her Lynn felt so dwarfed by it she wondered why it simply didn't stomp her into the dirt. It was so large...so cruel...a creature born to slay _her_, to rip her apart and feast upon her... The fist closed around its sword was pockmarked by blisters and wounds, and so pale it might as well have belonged to a corpse.

_Evil_.

Like its hand the creatures bald head was pale and covered with blisters and scabbed wounds, exposing dark muscles and sinews. _It's dead, should be dead_...._but it isn't_! The mouth was wide and covered in jagged and rotting teeth, making it look as if the creature was constantly grinning. Grinning about sinking those fangs into her flesh, to rip and shred and....and...shuddering Lynn ducked under a sweeping blade, her heart in her throat.

_Evil_.

The worst thing were the eyes though, so pale and unseeing...yet they bore into her, not really seeing her body, just _her_...and it made it _hungry_! The rage and evil in it was undimmed, uncaring, unfeeling. It hated her, yet it felt nothing... It knew nothing _but_ hate, cruelty and evil...nothing else existed in its mind. She could _see_ it in those eyes, _see_ the uselessness in fighting it, for what could one do against such evil?

_Evil_.

Ducking and weaving Lynn just stared at it, her legs feeling slow as she moved through the tall grass, her mind a mere fog as she looked up at the grinning creature following her, its blade constantly sweeping around for another blow. _It doesn't tire_..._it can't tire_..._it won't tire until I'm dead, until we're all dead_...

Lynn saw it in its eyes, there would be no escape, no surviving, only despair.

"Lynn!" The cry made her stumble, snapped out of whatever spell that had held her she raised her previously forgotten sword to block an overhand slash.

With a loud clang the two blades struck one another, the force of the hurlock's blow forcing Lynn's left knee down into the dirt and making her right shoulder flare up in sudden pain. _So_ _strong_... Still, it was a strength she could measure, it was human strength._ It's still something from this world_... Lynn looked up at the creature with new eyes, seeing the beast raise its sword for another blow.

Despite her jarred shoulder she forced her sword to sweep around, to knock the powerful blow aside so that the hurlock's blade dug itself into the earth to her right. She hesitated for a moment, eyes widening as the suddenly close face of the creature snapping at her throat, nearly biting into it. Before it could act again she moved however, rising up and stabbing the dagger in her left hand up against it, not really seeing where she was striking.

It was a clumsy blow, without her really seeing where she'd struck...there was still a sudden growl of pain from the creature as it jumped back though, revealing a trickle of black blood running from the edge of its breastplate where Lynn's dagger had struck.

Lynn stared at it, eyes wide._ It_..._can bleed_?

Then she managed a grin. _It can bleed_!

Flying to her feet Lynns dagger darted towards the creatures face, only to have its sword force the thrust aside. Her sword was already sweeping around through...and dug deep into its left knee, making it howl in pain and drop unto its back, its leg nearly cut in half.

Leaping forward Lynn thrust out with her sword against its face, but had the attack parried aside by a raised sword, forcing both blades up over the hurlock's head and into the ground. Following with the momentum of her thrust Lynn let herself fall forward...and dropped atop the creature with her dagger first, burying the weapon right above the creature's breastplate.

Its breath smelled like dirt and rotten meat as the air in its lungs shot out over Lynns face. It spat stinging blood over her face, staining its own lips as her dagger penetrated a lung. Staring at it with wide eyes she twisted her dagger around, watching its eyes roll back in its skull...and then felt it go limp.

Dead...it was _dead_.

Finally allowing herself to breathe Lynn looked at the thing, a sliver of dread still in the back of her mind as she watched it. Even in death it looked evil...the open mouth ready to snap at her, it's pale eyes, while now devoid of any emotion....still seemed ready to spring alive at any moment. _It can't do that_..._can it_?

_No, no it can't_.

With a groan Lynn rolled off the creature. She couldn't care less if any other creature attacked her at the moment, she was just too exhausted to move, her every muscle shaking with the strain and still persisting fear... _Maker, that creature_..._it was just so, so_.... She shook her head meekly, barely able to do even that, that had _not_ been what she had expected...

Looking up she found the sky far above them, still a warm blue, its sun tentatively reaching through the canopy of the trees, as if taunting her. _How can it still be a sky_..._with these creatures about_?_ It doesn't make sense_.

Then Alistair appeared before her vision, the man looking down at her with a sympathetic look on his face. "And now you know...there's nothing quite like the first one."

"I...see." Lynn replied, realising that the warden's appearance meant the other darkspawn were dead and she was lying in the grass like some sort of idiot...yet she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. "I've never..." She watched Alistair cocked his head to the side, attentively listening. "...encountered evil so..._obvious_." Lynn felt the tip of her ears heat at the admission, but Alistair only nodded, apparently not finding anything strange with her admittance of shock.

"They carry more evil then most to be fair...but yes....that scares me too." His face suddenly split into a grin. "But at least their ugliness makes it easier to kill them. Could you imagine them all looking like ponies or something? Vicious flesh-eating ponies...now _that's_ scary!" Lynn snorted, even _smiled_, unable to help herself. "Now get up, we got quite a few more left to fight after all." He offered his hand.

Lynn moved to take it...and then found him clasp her forearm before pulling her to her feet, nearly making her stumble. Looking down at the grip she realised it was the same grip as when they had shaken hands, and when Cailan and Duncan had...she smiled. "Oh...so _that's_ why you do it like that...how...symbolic."

"Eh?" Alistair asked as he released his grip on her, took a step back and pulled her dagger out of the hurlock she had killed. He handed it over, blood-covered handle first.

Taking the offered weapon Lynn shrugged and looked over at where Daveth and Jory were draining one of the killed genlocks of blood, Daveth irritated waving Jory's bumbling fingers aside as he tried to do things properly. She chuckled. "Oh nothing...nothing at all."

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help. (was sorely needed on this one)_


	9. Chapter 9

The hurlock swung, missed, and froze as Lynn's dagger buried itself in its chest.

Grunting she pulled back her sword for a slash...watching the creature's eyes widen at the sight of it, it's arms hanging limply by its side as it stared down at her, unable to fight anymore.

With another grunt she swung her blade about...and the creature's head came off in an explosion of blood.

For a moment its body just stood there, its head rolling down the gentle hill they stood on...then it collapsed, limbs twitching in an almost amusing way.

Smirking she sheathed her weapons, the lack of sounds behind her telling her the fight was over. _How many did that make_? _Thirty_? The smirk widened at the thought. Alistair was right, you didn't forget the first...but after that one it got easier, she barely even remembered how she had killed some of them. _Or perhaps I'm just going numb_? _Maybe all the killing will hit me later_? She frowned at the though. It wouldn't be the first time she had cried herself to sleep over killing...but she had a feeling that wouldn't happen this night, the darkspawn weren't worth a single tear.

Turning she found the others surround the hurlock which had been slightly larger then the other hurlocks, it's armour more elaborate and cruel-looking. It didn't look dangerous anymore though, its armour dented where Alistair's shield had struck it, blood seeping from the many arrows buried in it, its head limply turning away as Jory carefully kicked it in the side with a smirk.

She smiled at the image. At that moment they weren't humans, not even men, just allies who she had just enjoyed a great victory with.

Then they had to ruin it by turning to face her, grins on their faces, Daveth didn't help things either by speaking up, a smirk on his face: "Oh don't you look just lovely, blood red really suits your complexion my lady."

Lynn forced herself to laugh, knowing she would probably have to fight with these men for a long time in the future. "Really? Then maybe you should join me in my tent and we'll see if we can cover my _entire_ body in blood?"

Alistair stared at her in shock, which he was becoming quite adept at by this time, Jory seemed frightened, _again_...and Daveth was still smirking: "Now that _does_ sound tempting...there's worse ways to go I suppose."

Arching an eyebrow in feigned surprise Lynn regarded Daveth with more interest. _Huh_..._at least one of these humans can keep up with me_. Still, it hadn't been _that_ impressive and Lynn quickly lost interest in continuing her 'game' with the daft men, instead she turned to face the ruined tower, craning her neck to see all of it.

_Huh...it __is__ ruined...how could they have waited so long to get these documents_? At least it must had been an impressive tower once, the white walls arched and still somewhat elegant, despite pieces of it missing and the whole thing leading slightly to the right, as if the entire structure was about to sink into the swamp they called a forest. "So, any of you boys ready to brave this ruin and whatever horrors it may contain?"

"I hardly think there's anything we haven't yet killed in that thing." Jory argued, then surprised Lynn by pushing past her, taking the lead, sword drawn in readiness. _Huh...maybe he __does__ have some balls_? _Duncan must have picked him for a reason after all_... Shrugging Lynn followed, watching as Jory took in the quite obviously empty tower with suspicious eyes. "Hmm...this place smells..._odd_."

"That's called a forest ser knight." Daveth chipped in, though the man kept his bow at the ready as he ghosted after them, a silent Alistair next to him. Was it just Lynn or did Alistair look..._uncomfortable_? It wasn't about her for once either, it seemed the tower itself made the man...itching to draw his sword. "Forests smell."

Shrugging Lynn chose to ignore it, Alistair seemed a bit jittery after all...he probably had a 'feeling' or something. Now Lynn had those too, but there was a difference between her feelings and that of humans...hers actually _meant_ something. _Maybe humans are naturally skittish or something_? Ignoring the thought was easy, she had given up truly trying to understand humans ages ago after all. Lynn instead brushed past Jory as she spotted a lone chest in the far end of the tower floor. "You think this is it?"

"It might." Alistair replied, tone short as his head turned left and right, a hand coming up to grasp the grip of his sword while the other clenched and unclenched in some unspoken frustration.

Shaking her head Lynn chose to ignore the nervous man and instead crouched down by the chest. Daveth was at her side as she carefully lifted a broken shard of its lid. The man chuckled at the broken thing: "Wow...looks like it entered a fight with an ogre...and lost."

"What's an ogre?" Lynn nearly bit her lip as the question slipped out...and felt a slight flush at the tip of her ears when the men around her shot her incredulous looks. _Thank the maker for my hair being in the way_... "What? A darkspawn? I just got my codex...haven't read all of it yet." Her ears got warmer as they kept looking at her. "What!? I got it less then a day ago and I've been kind of busy since then!"

To her surprise and relief it was Alistair who spoke up, his huff bringing an end to the embarrassment. "Just get the _treaties_, _before_ it starts raining if you please." Lynn breathed an inwards sigh of relief. _Whew, at least he's good for something besides bashing darkspawn skulls in_...

Grunting she forced the biggest part of the lid away...and found herself looking at nothing. "Oh...."

"What do you mean by 'oh'?" Alistair asked and stepped up behind her, then let loose a surprisingly sharp curse. "Maker....damn it!" He kicked at the chest, making what little integrity still in it give in and break apart. "I bet those damn chasind...oh _how_ am going I to explain this?"

"We could try tracking them." Jory suggested, sheathing his sword and looking as sheepish as ever.

"What's there to track? Face it, there are no treaties to get." Daveth shrugged. "I say we cut our losses and leave."

For some reason all three of them then looked at her, waiting for her word. _I know I usually lead, but these are __humans__...shouldn't they look for Alistair for a decision_? Still, she wasn't one to shy away from power, _especially_ when it was so deliciously rare to lead men supposed to be her betters...smiling she dusted her hands off and straightened. "Daveth, _can_ you track anything here?"

The man looked unsure, eyeing the ground with a frown. "Err...there's been a lot of things...give me an hour or so...maybe I can..."

"We don't _have_ an hour." Lynn snapped and nodded to herself. "Nope, sorry Alistair, we can't-"

"'Tis strange..." The new voice cut into the conversation like a thunderbolt, they could have been charged by a horde of darkspawn and they wouldn't have jumped higher. Whirling about Lynn found a hazy figure appear out of a shrubbery she _knew_ hadn't contained anything just moments ago. "...to find so many people in one place here in the wilds...and _civilised_ ones at that." The figure snorted even as she appeared from the shadows of the tower.

Lynn, her weapons suddenly in her hands, found herself hesitating at the sight, as did the men at her back she mutedly noticed. First of all they weren't being attacked, second the person appearing before them was human..._ish_. Cocking her head to the side Lynn studied the new arrival with growing interest.

The woman was pale, as if the sun had never truly touched her skin, which was odd considering how much of it was exposed by the thick purple cloth draped over her torso. The black skirt she wore over equally black pants and boots seemed to be made of some sort of rough leather with extra pieces riveted into it, to fix a hole or for extra protection Lynn wasn't sure. What she _did_ know was that the clothes looked like that of a pauper's...yet the woman carried them like they were the finest of garments.

Her black hair was pulled back up, yet much of it stuck out over her face, giving her a roguish impression. The face was finely carved, and adorned with a lush pair of purple lips, making Lynn feel a little lacking... Yet the strangest thing was the eyes...under the dark purple of her eyelids pure _gold_ looked back at her....gold that glittered slightly as a ray of sunlight made its way down to them.

_That's not natural_...Lynn didn't feel too threatened though, her expression neutral as she observed the woman saunter closer. "I _knew_ something was up." Alistair grumbled and pulled out his sword. "Be careful, she has magic."

"Oh _how_ observant, did the staff give me away?" The woman asked, demonstratively placing the withered piece of dark wood in her hand against the tower's wall before crossing her arms in front of her and leaning up against the same wall. "But more importantly, what do _you_ have? Or more specifically, what claim do you have to move in these forests of mine?" She chuckled at whatever look the men behind Lynn gave her. "The chasind have the claim of tradition, I the same, I know this land...what claim do you have?"

"This tower is grey warden property?" Alistair tried, sounding sheepish.

The woman laughed. "Really? My but what a fine tower of yours!" Her right hand's fingers begun to drum against her arm. _She's so calm_...._she feels no threat from us_..._odd_. Lynn didn't have too much experience with magic, she found what little she had seen amazing though, and had no desire to experience some of the more brutal things it should be able to do up close... For some reason she judged that risk minimal though. "But you're grey wardens then? I am not surprised." She eyed the broken chest by Lynn's feet with a raised eyebrow. "Ah, you're looking for something I take it? Something here no longer?"

"Here no longer?" Alistair echoed. "You stole them, didn't you?"

"Stealing from the dead? I have done that on occasion...but why would I steal documents of no use to me?" The woman smirked.

Alistair snorted, his mouth moving but no answer really coming. Sighing Lynn decided to interfere before things got worse. "We never mentioned any documents...so you know of them." The woman smirked and turned her golden gaze towards Lynn, making her freeze. _There's something unnatural there_...shaking it off Lynn smirked back. "Don't you?"

"My-my, someone with a brain." The woman chuckled. "Will wonders never cease?" Inclining her head she continued: "Yes, 'tis true that I know of these documents, my mother took them. For what purpose I cannot say."

"Your...mother?" Alistair echoed, apparently unable to come up with anything on his own, Lynn smirked and eyed the woman's torso. _How surprising_...? "Took...them?"

"Yes..." The woman smirked at the man before turning to Lynn. "Is he _really_ the one in charge here? He seems to dumb for such a thing...or perhaps you others wish survival to be a challenge?"

"Don't speak as if I'm not here!" Alistair growled, though the anger was somewhat ruined by the high pitch of his protest.

"Alistair..." Lynn raised a hand towards the man while keeping her eyes focused on the woman. "You know...it's usually polite to tell others your name before taunting them." She managed to smirk back at the woman. "Makes it all the sweeter when they remember it..."

The woman laughed. "Oh yes! How silly of me. I am Morrigan...watcher of this forest if you will." Alistair's scoff was easily ignored by the women as the golden gaze moved over Lynn, the other woman obviously sizing her up. "How strange to find an elf all the way out here...and you are?"

"Lynn Tabris." Lynn bowed her head and smiled. "A pleasure."

"I'm _sure_ it is." Morrigan's cold gaze darted to the men behind the elf, her eyes saying it all, making Lynn chuckle. "Now, you came for your papers, I have told you they are with my mother, you wish to ask her for them?"

Finally Jory spoke up: "What? No! We can't...she's a witch!"

"She'll put us in the pot she will." Daveth added, sounding oddly fearful and making Lynn roll her eyes. _Great, and here I was just beginning to warm up to him_... "Can't we just-"

"No." Alistair cut in. "She won't, I dislike this whole thing...but we need those papers." He drew his sword and pointed it over at the strange woman. "But I'm _watching_ you apostate, one false move and things will turn ugly."

"My, how manly of you." Morrigan scoffed before turning her gaze back to Lynn. "Tell me, do all men in your home react to offers of aid with threats of violence?"

Lynn shrugged, her amusement bubbling up. "Well..._this one_ is a little..._special_."

"Hey!"

Ignoring Alistair was easy as Lynn gestured for the exit. "And yes, please show us to your mother so we may ask her of the papers. I'm _sure_ we can barter them from her."

"So many have said that before...this will prove interesting." Morrigan chuckled as she grabbed her staff and moved towards the exit, pointedly ignoring the men fearfully stepping away from her.

Lynn, ignoring the look Alistair shot her, moved to follow, a smirk on her lips. _Yes, interesting indeed_...

*

*

*

"Mother, these grey wardens wishes to see you."

Morrigan's mother was..._not_ what Lynn had expected.

Judging by the fearful whispers of Daveth and Jory, and the fact that Alistair looked more and more bothered....Lynn had sort of expected someone...witchier. Someone who's fingers crackled with eldritch power, who lived in a hidden palace and made the very ground move at her command.

Instead she found herself opposed by such an...old woman.

_Of course I know appearances can be deceiving, but really_..._this it too much_!

The woman was _old_...and nothing else. Her grey hair dull and combed straight and simple. She wore a grass stained dress, a dress so simple Lynn could have mistaken the woman for any old farmer's wife. Her face was worn with age, her cheeks sunken. Lynn tried to find Morrigan's golden eyes in the woman supposed to be her mother...but if there had been such colour it had now been worn down to a motley brown.

_Is she even a witch_?

The house at the woman's back was no better, a run down thing of moss-covered wood and stone, sturdy, but nothing special, Lynn had seen fancier farmhouses.

Of course the voice stopped Lynn from completely relaxing, there was something..._crazed_ in it, yet Lynn got the impression that the old woman was anything _but_ crazy...which meant they were in danger: "Ah, so these are the fabled grey wardens? Or at least one of them." The woman noted after Morrigan's short introduction, amused eyes moving over the four, weighing them easily before shrugging.

Lynns eyes narrowed at the words. _How does she know_? Still, _honey over daggers_, smiling she bowed her head just a little. "It's an honour I'm sure." The witch blinked and looked away from Alistair, apparently having expected him to take the lead. _Ah, so you can see some things but not all? Good to know_... "I was told by your lovely daughter that you have something we want?"

"Indeed I do little one..." The woman turned to Lynn, a glint of amusement in the old eyes of hers...Lynn suddenly felt very..._small_. "Hmm...very interesting...an elf are you?" Lynn got the distinct feeling that the 'elf' part _wasn't_ what the woman found interesting. "Tell me, what do you think will happen here?"

"My expectations have been proven quite wrong as of late." Lynn replied with a smirk. "What I'm _hoping_ for is us to trade you something for those documents we need."

"Ah, _hope_, so quickly it is turned to ash..." The woman chuckled, then raised her hand to command Alistair to stop as he took a step forward in protest, the man instantly obeyed, much to Lynn's amusement. "...but _trade_? Now that's an interesting thing...what would you wish to..._trade_?"

Lynn shrugged and looked around herself. "Can't be much you have here...pardon my bluntness." At the old woman's back Morrigan chuckled, but the old woman herself seemed unfazed, watching Lynn with unnerving interest. "You need coins? Or perhaps a good blade to defend against the encroaching darkspawn?" There was no interest in the eyes looking back at her, making Lynn unnerved. "Or perhaps...you shall simply name the price?"

The woman scoffed. "I'm a witch girl...what need of blades have I?"

Alistair groaned. "Yes, yes we get it...you've no need of anything we have." He visibly shuddered and kicked at a random rock while muttering. "Bet you can turn the entire blight around too..."

"Ah, yes _there's_ the essence of things." The woman pointed a finger at Alistair, confusing everyone, especially the warden who looked up in shock, face innocent as he pointed at himself in surprise. "The blight is coming." The voice was different at that, a little...harder. "And the wardens are the only ones who can destroy it. So...in the interest of protecting myself...I will give you _your_ papers."

The scrolls that the woman held were suddenly offered to Lynn, who numbly took them, feeling the parchment under her fingers._ Huh, despite their age they're so soft_... "You're just..._giving_ them to us?"

"Are you not wardens? The ones who will take any help to defend the blight?" The woman shrugged. "They are yours, I have no use for them...why _wouldn't_ I give them to you?"

"Wow...that's..._generous_ of you?" Alistair muttered, looking at the documents in Lynn's hands as if they would suddenly turn into a snake and bite her.

"Quite." Lynn agreed, turning the papers over in confusion. Just to give something to someone you barely know...it was a little strange she had to admit. Then she shrugged. _I've seen the terror that is the blight, it's not strange that someone would want to help us stop it_. Looking up she smiled at the old woman. "Thank you."

The old woman raised her hands. "No, thank _you_." Turning her head she looked over at Morrigan. "Now daughter, please escort these fine people back to their camp, they have a ritual to attend to." _How does she know_? Lynn forced herself not to reveal her thoughts as she turned her eyes to the other witch.

Morrigan recoiled a little at the words of her mother, obviously not having expected them. "I...of course mother." she quickly recovered though and looked over at Lynn with a smirk, and then a more vicious grin as she eyed the men at Lynn's back. "Follow me..."

Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help.


	10. Chapter 10

Lynn shuddered where she stood.

After having faced a rabid dog in the alienage she hadn't thought herself able to become nervous again. After having realised she might die in the prison she had been tossed into the first time she had been caught by the guard she hadn't thought herself able to become nervous again. After having seen them take Shianni to be raped she hadn't thought herself able to become nervous again. And after having fought a darkspawn she _certainly_ hadn't thought herself able to become nervous _ever_ again!

Yet there it was, she was nervous, more so then she thought herself capable of.

The old temple they stood in lacked a roof, and most of its once elegantly arched walls were crumpled and broken, casting jagged shadows over the dusty floor. She felt like an intruder...

Things weren't helped by the dark sky overhead, the black clouds lighting up with barely contained lightning as the wind slowly picked up, carrying with it the promise of rain. It was as if the maker himself saw her intrusion to things she wasn't worthy of and was contemplating striking her down right there and then.

Mostly it was something with Duncan that made her nervous though. The man's movement was slower then normal, carrying with it a great weight of responsibility, a weight she knew he expected her to shoulder. It was his eyes that bothered her the most though, the calm was still there, but it was a calm tempered to stone. There was a hardness there that hadn't been there before as he looked at the three recruits, judging them, as if they were nothing but things, things that he didn't care if they broke or not.

Lynn couldn't meet those eyes.

Instead she looked behind the man, at the table at back where a large silver chalice stood. Her thieving self wondered how expensive it must be...but most of her just wondered what it was there _for_. _Are we to drink from it_..._or fill it_? Neither alternative seemed all that desirable.

Not daring to look at the thing any longer she instead turned her head to look at her fellow recruits, to find some comfort in their nervousness perhaps.

It didn't help.

Jory was pale as a ghost, staring at the chalice with obvious dread, both hands clenching and unclenching...no doubt wishing for nothing but to hold his sword and defend himself against...whatever was going on. Daveth was in marginally better shape, though pale he still looked decisive...and he was the only one of them who met Duncan's eyes, head held high. _He looks as if he's going to his execution_..._but defiant despite it_.

Lynn felt an odd mix of jealousy and admiration at the sight.

Shaking her head she looked over Duncan's shoulder to where Alistair stood. The man was slightly pale as well, his gaze darting between the three recruits with an odd look of compassion in his eyes. When he noticed her looking at him he managed an awkward smile that barely reached his lips. Lynn swallowed at the sight, something in Alistair's..._stance_ making her even more nervous.

"This is it recruits, this is when you join us." Duncan's voice was sombre and final, leaving no room to argue. _Is it just me or is the air getting_..._thicker_? "As the first grey wardens did before you..." Duncan grasped the chalice with both hands and lifted it up to eye-level. "...you will now drink darkspawn blood...and master its taint."

Lynn took a step back, the memory of the burning sensation the blood created on her skin still fresh in her mind. Jory did the same, raising a hand in shock. "We-we're going to drink their blood? That's...unholy, sick...c-can't that kill us?"

_Yes, I'd like to know that as well_.

Duncan took a step forward. "Only a few words are spoken before the ritual, but they have been spoken since the first wardens, Alistair, if you please?" _He's not answering_..._that means_..._Maker_!

There was no quip or smile from Alistair, no comfort was found in his face as he lowered it in prayer. Even his voice was different from the normal, serious, sombre.

"Join us brothers and sisters." Lynn almost expected him to glance up at her at that, but he didn't, mind focused. "Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant." Lynn shivered at the words, it didn't sound...like something you willingly went into. "Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn." Duty...no duty could truly be forsworn...the words were actually some _comfort_ to Lynn. "And should you perish...know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten." _Perish_..._now_? Lynn's mouth went dry, the fact that Alistair seemed to take the words so seriously only added to her fear. The man looked up, staring at some point in the distance as he finished: "And that one day...we too shall join you."

Lynn was suddenly acutely aware that there was so little they had been told of what it meant to be a grey warden, that there seemed to be far more to it then a simple ability to sense darkspawn, something..._tainted_. _But of course_..._it's too late now_. She stared at the chalice with growing fear as Duncan approached with the cup of blood. "Daveth, step forward."

She could sense the human thief turn his head to glance at Jory and her, but couldn't bring herself to look back. What was there to do? Try to give him a smile? _I doubt I'll be able to do that after this_...she stared at the chalice. It looked so pure, so beautiful...so..._deceptive_.

The man said nothing as he took a step forward, his hands coming up to take the chalice from Duncan. To his credit he kept his back straight, his stance was proud, _if_ a little rigid...Lynn couldn't blame him. A small sigh...and the thief put the chalice to his lips and took a small sip.

Lowering the chalice the man coughed and handed it back to Duncan, his stance still straight and proud. Turning his head he revealed blood stained lips to Lynn, lips turned in a slight smirk. _Well that didn't look so-_ Another cough and the smirk disappeared, replaced by a panicked look as the man suddenly doubled over in wordless pain. A third cough and Lynn watched the man stumble sideways, hands clutching at his throat.

_Maker_...Lynn turned her head away even as she heard the thud of the human dropping to the floor. Duncan's voice was calm and sympathetic...and very final. "I'm...sorry Daveth, you did not make it."

The only reply he got was a wheezing death-rattle as the thief died.

"Jory, step forward." The sympathy was gone, once more there was nothing but cold hardness in the voice, the dead man apparently forgotten.

"Wh-what? You can't be serious!" Looking back, trying to ignore the dead man before her, Lynn saw Jory step away, eyes wide in fear. "That thing...it's poison! You can't make me drink that!"

Duncan tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing. "It is the only way, grey warden or death, that are the options." 

"I...had I known..." Jory protested, back hitting the wall behind him. "...I have a wife! A child on the way!" Duncan advanced, uncaring of the protests, chalice raised in demand. And Lynn could do nothing but stare... "There is no glory in this!" Jory suddenly drew his sword, pointing it at Duncan with a panicked look on his face.

Duncan advanced though, unafraid of the weapon. "Join us, there are no alternative."

"There's no glory in this!" Jory repeated, then swiped his sword at Duncan.

Fast as a viper Duncan ducked under the blow, chalice in his left hand as the right drew a curved blade stuck to the small of his back...then lunged forward.

There was a gasp and Jory lurched forward, eyes still wide in panic...then a thin jet of blood shot out from his neck, its main artery cut. Holding the chalice away from the spurting blood Duncan ignored it as it shot out over his white robes, staining them crimson, instead he advanced on Lynn, his still bloodied dagger in hand. "I am sorry Jory." There was no compassion in the eyes looking back at Lynn's wide stare, only determination. "But the ritual is not yet complete."

Lynn took a step back in fright, then froze as her gaze darted to the bloodied dagger so leisurely held in Duncan's hand, then back to Jory, the man now lying still as the spurting of his blood slowly turned to a trickle. _Dead, so fast_..._I can't_..._fight Duncan_..._he's too fast_.

Which left no real alternative. Lynn's eyes turned to the prone Daveth, the man had died a most painful death...maybe it was better if she just let Duncan finish her off instead? She glanced at Alistair, finding only sympathy as he looked back, sympathy and the urgent plead for her to go through with the ritual.

_But_...Lynn glanced back down at the dead Daveth..._I don't want to_..._die like that_. She swallowed and stared at the chalice slowly approaching, the thing strangely large in her eyes. _Wi-will the maker find me if I die drinking that_? It was an odd thought, Lynn wasn't religious, yet the doubt...it sapped at her, making her already tired body ache. _I don't want to die_.

She looked up, but found no sympathy in Duncan's eyes, only a veil of hardness that he had assumed, if he actually felt any sympathy duty overruled it. _Duty_...Lynn shook her head, the thought jarring her out of her fear, if but a little. _I only have the wardens now_..._it's my duty to do this_. _Not only to myself, but for all, to fight these_..._creatures_. She had seen the face of evil, killed it, and however she hated to admit it...._it is my duty to keep fighting them, with these humans if so needed_.

_Not to mention my duty to the alienage_...

Lynn raised her hand, putting her palm against the chalice and stopping Duncan's approach, making the man narrow his eyes. Lynn forced herself to meet his gaze though, to not think about the dagger ready to cut her throat...swallowing she spoke, her voice harsh in her ears: "If...if I don't make it...wi-will you still speak to the king and the arl about my crime?"

Duncan blinked, the hardness in his eyes instantly evaporating. "I...yes...yes of course."

Lynn almost managed a smile._ Not often one surprises Duncan_... "Then...give it to me." She cupped the cold metal and pried it from Duncan's hands, determined to use what little resolve she had gained quickly, before it disappeared.

It burnt her lips, her throat...yet Lynn swallowed, forcing herself not to gag._ Maker, this tastes worse then_...she shook her head, an odd..._pressure_ building in her skull..._then_...

She was only dimly aware of Duncan taking the chalice from her suddenly numb hands. Instead she took half a step backwards as she doubled over, not really feeling..._pain_...but something else, as if something strange was worming its way into her chest. She shook her head, a hand coming up to rub her temple as the pressure in her skull suddenly doubled. "_**Welcome**_..." It was a strange voice, a horrible voice, and it came from _within_ her.

She felt her body move, trying to stand up, yet she couldn't really see...she turned her head towards where she knew Duncan and Alistair were supposed to be...and saw only darkness.

"_**Come, come to me.**_"

She fell.

*

*

*

She was naked and, more importantly, pinned, stuck to the dead ground by some unseen force.

_But I always fly_..._what is this_? Lynn couldn't turn her head, she could only see a strange sky above her, green with coiling black clouds..._green_?

_It hurts my eyes_...

Then the force pinning her to the ground gripped her, pinning her arms to her sides as it lifted her from the ground. She squirmed and struggled, something in the grip...burning her, setting her skin afire with pain. Yet there was no escape, her movements merely causing more pain.

_It hurts_.

She found herself twisted about...and screamed as she saw the darkspawn.

Thousands upon thousands...millions...as far as the eye could see she saw them, covering the ground before her. Held just above them she found every single one of them staring at her, rage and hunger...they wanted nothing but to feast upon her flesh and soul...their eyes said it better then any words could.

_Their gazes hurts_...

Screaming she tried to pull away, but there was no escape, only a deep chuckle that sent icy pain through her spine. "_**Yes, fear them, fear me**_."

_The voice hurts..._

She was turned around, her wide eyes unable to close as she saw a massive black foot appear. The clawed foot was covered in scales...and by scythed blades of black bone, each one as long as a sword, each on a cruel a mimic of the swords the hurlocks carried. "_**Fear your taint.**_"

The grip pulled her upwards, revealing a massive serpentine body, as black as the deepest shadow, all covered in ridges and more scythes. Then further up...revealing a thick neck...and then the blade-covered head of the massive dragon. The pale eyes looking down at her were devoid of anything but a senseless evil...yet she could _feel_ its malevolent intelligence, how its mind dominated her senses, crushed her very being.

_It hurts_!

"_**Welcome**_." The demon opened its massive jaw and moved towards her, to feed upon her. "_**Sister**_."

*

*

*

She shot up with a scream, eyes wide as two pair of hands pressed down on her arms, keeping her pinned.

_Pinned_!

With another scream she kicked at the concerned faces appearing, her arms flailing, making the men release her.

Gasping she sat up, hands moving towards her face, to her exposed skin. There was no burns though, no searing pain...not even a tenderness...only her skin, unharmed. She shuddered, senses confused._ I can't be unharmed_..._I can't_..._is this a dream_?_ Am I still with that_..._that thing_? She pinched at her jaw, surprised to find only the slight pain it should have brought her. _I'm_..._unharmed_? _It just_..._can't be right_.

Staring around herself Lynn realised she was still in the temple, the two dead recruits were gone...and she was lying atop the stone table with Alistair and Duncan on each side..._my_ _two fellow wardens_. The thought brought her no comfort and Lynn simply shook her head, trying to shake the dream...or whatever it had been...from her mind, but failing. "I...I'm fine." The croak wasn't her voice, but that of someone else, someone still living.

"Welcome back." Duncan offered, his voice calm...it was oddly reassuring to hear. "Sister."

_Sister_.

Lynn swept her hand in front of her, trying to fend away..._something_...she managed a wavering smile though as she found Alistair's concerned face appear before her. By the looks of him he wasn't fooled though. "I'm fine...thank you...Duncan."

"Only one of us died at my joining..." Alistair muttered and glanced to where the two bodies should have been lying._ How long have I been gone_? "...it was still horrible though." He turned to look back at Lynn, the concern in his face surprising her. "Did you have dreams? I had terrible dreams after my joining."

Lynn hesitated. _Can't tell_..._too scary_..._all of it_. Instead she managed a coy smile. "You're so thoughtful...how about talking about _who_ we dream of later? In _private_?"

To her surprise Alistair got a very..._tired_ look on his face at the suggestion."-Fine, I get it, you don't want to tell me." He sighed and looked away even as he reached for her arm and carefully pulled her towards the edge of the table. "Just...take it easy now."

Lynn felt like snapping at him, but found herself unable to say anything as she leant against the helping hands and got to her feet. _Woo...wobbly_..._I can barely feel my legs_. _Can't I rest a bit longer_? Then Duncan stood in front of her, arms crossed as he answered the unspoken question: "When you are ready you should head down to the war room where we are to meet the king for our last preparations of the coming battle."

"Duncan, can't she at least get some-"

"No." Duncan interrupted Alistair's protest. "The king asked for her to be there, and we will not disobey him."

_Why would he_...? Lynn shook her head, knowing such question wouldn't bring her any answers. "Okay, I'll be with you in a moment."

She needn't have said that, Duncan was already striding away, his steps unwavering as he made his way towards the large table in the distance...where Lynn thought herself _see_ the king already. _Strange_..._I feel no awe at the thought of meeting him again_. Shaking aside the thought she felt Alistair shift his grip on her as he moved to face her, head slightly lowered as he looked at her with a serious look on his face. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"What?" Lynn frowned. "Yes, I told you, I'm fine." The look on the man's face didn't change. Sighing inwardly Lynn managed a smile. "You can always escort me to the meeting if you want..."

The man shook his head, almost panicked for some reason. "No! No...that would not be...prudent."

"Why not?"

"Oh I don't know, they have not _asked_ for me, I have things to do, stuff like that." The man smiled awkwardly, released his grip on her and stepped away. "Now if you excuse me...I have some of those..._things_ to do." With that the man beat a hasty retreat, nearly tripping on the steps as he went.

Lynn shook her head, careful not to rattle the headache she was starting to feel. "What a strange human..." Shrugging she turned to more important things, her body now somewhat restored to working order she could for instance focus on getting down to the meeting...

The steps weren't _too_ difficult to get down, whatever the dream had made her feel quickly disappearing, only leaving a dull ache in her skull and chest. As such she quickly found herself at the meeting, circling around the large table she mutely nodded to the assembled...not daring to speak yet...and took her position at Duncan's side.

The maps spread across the table made her sober up a little, her eyes darting left and right to take it all in.

There weren't many there, a couple of guards in heavy armour were spread out in the dark corners of the ruins, watching them silently. To her right there was an old woman in chantry robes..._perhaps the revered mother Alistair had mentioned_...and an even older looking man in mage robes, his head resembling that of a turtle's.

They were of no interest though. The king _was_, the man looking as happy and cheerful as ever, despite the situation. He was still tall, still dressed in golden armour...yet Lynn felt a little more focused this time...a little more aware of the _way_ he was looking at her. _Ah_..._and here I thought his reason for calling me here would be interesting_.

Smiling widely the man bowed his head at her. "It's lovely to see you again my lady. I understand congratulations are in order."

"Thank you your majesty." Lynn managed, relieved at feeling in control of her voice once more.

"No, thank _you_. We need every hero of old in these times." Cailan nodded to his own words, then smiled at her. "And if the hero turns out to be a like a shieldmaiden of old...all the better."

A cleared throat interrupted the talks, turning all eyes to the shorter man next to Cailan. This man wore darker armour, no gilded steel, only sparsely decorated...and which looked far more worn then the king's. His hawkish features and dark hair swept back behind his ears gave him a very focused look, as if the grey eyes in the bruised sockets of his could see through anything. "Perhaps we should focus on the task at hand majesty?"

"Yes." Cailan shook his head and looked over at the man scowling at him. "Quite right Loghain." _Loghain_...?_ As in the Loghain_!?_ The hero of river Dane_!? Lynn felt her eyes bulge, even in the alienage, where the name of the king would be considered a curse..._everyone_ spoke of the hero of Ferelden with reverence. Leaning forward Cailan didn't appear bothered by the fact that the great warrior was still scowling at him. "Speak your strategy then, I will take the main part of the army to the front and...?"

Shooting Lynn an irritated look..._hey, I'm not the one lusting after someone that's not your daughter_....the man bent over the papers as well, finger stabbing down at the map. "Your main force will wait her while I and the rest will position ourselves beyond this ridge, hidden from the darkspawn and ready to flank them."

"Flank them! Yes, I remember." Cailan cut in, nodding with a grin on his face. "It's a good plan Loghain, thank you." He straightened and smiled over at Duncan and her...mostly her though. "I will stand with the wardens at the front, blunting their advance long enough for you to move your men into position." His chest puffed out a little at the words.

"My Liege I hardly think it's prudent for you to risk you life like that." Loghain growled, obviously annoyed. Cailan didn't seem to notice though, eyes fixed on Duncan and her, _what a curious look on his face_... "It is your _duty_ to live through this battle and lead your army properly."

"My _duty_ is to fight for my people." Cailan snapped back, his smile fading a little as he turned to Loghain. "Now...have the Orlesians arrived yet?"

"We don't need the Orlesians to defend ourselves!" Loghain replied, his hands curling into fists at the thought of the other nation. _Not surprising_..._even I'm a little hesitant about letting them in, and I wasn't around during the war with them_.

"So..." Cailan smiled. "...that's a 'no' then?" _Huh, almost sounded like Alistair there_...

"Yes. " Loghain growled. "And I still say that we should wait for more reinforcement, risking a battle now is foolhardy."

"It is _not_ foolhardy to try to end this blight before it can even begin." Cailan replied, his smile somewhat mired by irritation.

"It might not even be a _true_..." Loghain sighed and pinched the tip of his long nose, they had obviously had the same discussion before, and the older man was obviously not the one winning them... "Very well, do as you please, the plan is...sound...for what it's worth." He shrugged and pointed back at the map. "The beacon has been readied at the tower of Ishal, when it is lit I will attack, agreed?"

"Yes, very much so." Cailan nodded, then a wry smirk appeared on his lips and he glanced over at Lynn, eyes warm. "Have the...new warden and Alistair go to watch the beacon, it's an important task after all."

Lynn smiled back, _oh well_..._safe from the main part of the battle due to the king being horny and trying to be protective_..._not so bad_..._I might just find a use for such affections_... "Thank you your Majesty, we will not fail you."

"This trust to the wardens will be your downfall." Loghain growled in protest. "We should attend to _reality_, like the fact that these darkspawn, even when flanked will severely outnumber us and if you don't keep your troops back so as to funnel them you will-"

"Enough!" Cailan made a chopping gesture, the smile of his gone. "_I_ am the king and _I_ say this is how things will be." He narrowed his eyes at his general. "Or do you feel it is insufficient?"

Loghain hesitated, then looked away, face unreadable. "No...your Majesty."

Nodding to himself Cailan looked back at the map, eyes afire with glee, his voice a whisper of delight: "This will be glorious..."

Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help.


	11. Chapter 11

It had started with the wind picking up.

It was a cold wind, chilling any exposed skin and making Lynn shiver in her armour despite her best efforts to stay warm. Duncan had ordered her and Alistair to head for the tower before the battle could truly begin...at which point the rain had appeared.

It was _cold_, _hard_ with the wind whipping her face raw...and nearly instantly turned her shivering to a shaking.

Thankfully Alistair didn't seem to notice, his strides surprisingly decisive as he walked to her left towards the bridge leading to the tower. He stopped dead when they came round the corner though, at the sight of the men lining the bridge, Lynn had to admit it was a sight to stare at. The ballistas from before had been wheeled into place and were already being fired, the thin line of archers doing the same. Alistair snapped around to stare at her, eyes wide in shock. "They've already charged! We have to hurry!"

Lynn shrugged and followed the man as he begun to run along the bridge, the man surprisingly resolute all of a sudden. _Not like it needs to be lit within the next moment_..._though better safe then sorry_...she pumped her legs to catch up.

The wind was worse atop the bridge, nearly tossing her over the ledge before she could regain her balance. _It's not just that though_..._there's something in my chest_..._pulling me sideways. _Lynn looked over the ledge. Far below the armies had begun to fight, from the distance it only looked like a horde of ants...yet..._I know there are darkspawn down there_. It was odd, just knowing, not through logic or sight...but just _knowing_...it was a little eerie.

Gritting her teeth at the freezing rain biting into her Lynn struggled to catch up with her fellow warden...who by the looks of things was about to clear the bridge in record time.

Then a fireball struck the bridge.

Lynn hadn't really seen what had fired it, she only saw a huge ball of fire appear before her...then a flash of light as the shaking of the bridge brought her tumbling down.

Groaning she rolled over unto all fours and shook her head, a strange ringing in her ears. She spat at the floor, the spittle instantly washed away by the water that was already pooling over the bridge by the storm. _Is it just me or the bridge_..._tilting_?

Suddenly feeling a stab of panic Lynn flew to her feet, turned...and quickly realised that the bridge _wasn't_ collapsing...and that burnt corpses lay all over the place where the fireball had struck, stinging her nostrils with the smell of burnt flesh._ Disgusting_..._and that was close_..._shame about...what the_!?

"Owww..." Alistair shouldered aside a broken piece of a ballista and struggled to his feet. His helmet was gone, revealing soaked hair and a trickle of blood from a gash in his forehead. His splint armour was scorched black, though that was already being washed away by the rain. Smoke was rising from his shoulders...but otherwise he was..._fine_. Lynn blinked at the sight. _Huh_..._and here I thought I would have to trudge on alone_...she felt a little guilty over how little guilt that thought had brought her, but easily forgot about it as she ran up to help the man steady himself. "Note to self; no head-butting fireballs..."

Lynn laughed, despite the growing tension between her shoulder blades. _I'm in a battle, a battle! __And there's darkspawn and everything_..._it's too big_! She shook her head._ Yes, it's too big, don't think about it and get a move on_! "Can you walk? We have work to do."

"Lighting the beacon, got it." Alistair took half a step in the wrong direction, then visibly snapped back to reality as he simply shrugged aside the effect of the inferno he had just been in. _Huh, must be made of stone or something_... He glanced down at the fighting below them, eyes oddly sad. "I wish I could be down there..." Grumbling he turned back to head to the other side of the bridge.

Lynn once more felt the pull in her chest, harder this time, almost..._excited_, as if she could feel the darkspawn thrive on the fighting below her. Turning her head to once more look down at the fighting she grimaced at the sight. It was just insects, thousands of them...covered in mud..._dying_...the rain didn't wash anything away, it only made the image more murky, making it impossible to tell man from beast. "I don't..."

Shrugging aside such thoughts she ran after Alistair, quickly catching up to him as the human slid to a stop at the foot of the entrance to the tower's courtyard, eyes wide as he took in the sight of the the guard rolling down the stairs leading to it. And atop the stairs...Lynns eyes widened.

With an inhuman growl the hurlock raised the huge sword in its hands and leapt down the stairs after the screaming guard...and was split in two as Alistair's swinging blade met the charging beast.

The man screamed, hands over his face, as the innards of the creature poured over him. Its torso barely missing his head as its legs fell into his lap, making him kick it aside with an even louder scream. "Maker! Mercy! I...Maker!" He looked up at Alistair with wide eyes, apparently fearing the still smouldering warden as much as the broken hurlock.

"Calm down man, what is going on?" Alistair replied and sheathed his sword, his voice clipped and steady. _Well that's a surprise_...

"Maker! Please I....Maker!" The guard kept screaming, his hands still in front of him as he tried to defend himself from...something. Lynn snorted. _Where are these strong human soldiers they always speak of in the alienage_?_ Where are these brave knights of legend_?_ The ones that keep elves in the dirt through their superior strength_?_ Where_? "Th-they c-came...Maker help me!"

Alistair sighed and moved a hand to scratch his neck, obviously not knowing what to do. Lynn, feeling the need for speed, brushed past him and leant forward to grip the man's jaw with her hand, the coldness of her mail gauntlets making the man's eyes a little more focused...right into hers. "What is going on? Why are there darkspawn here?" She tightened her grip, a strange anger rising within her. "Tell me."

"Th-they came out of the ground...from...the basement I think..." The man shook violently in her grip, eyes wide in fear. _Huh, one could almost pity him_..._the_ _coward_. "They came up and begun killing _everyone_...they're so many...Maker help me I couldn't..." His eyes somehow managed to widen even further. "Maker! The beacon! They're moments from taking the beacon!" He suddenly got up, his entire body shaking. "There won't be a signal! We have to get out of here and-!"

Lynn grabbed the man by his collar and pulled him closer, in his panicked state the human was as weak as an infant, making it easy to pull him to eye-level. "You won't go anywhere but with _us_! This is _your_ tower soldier! _Your_ men still inside of it!" She _saw_ the guilt in the eyes staring back at her, _knew_ the right words to say. "Get your weapon, save them!"

_As if you're worth to carry one_...d_uty, do these humans not know of it_!?

"Y-yes." The man nodded hurriedly, his hand moving towards the mace clipped to his belt, forgotten until now. "I...I will follow you...warden." Straightening he took a deep breath...and fell in behind her as Lynn brushed past a staring Alistair.

"Stop _staring_ and _follow_ you fool!"

*

*

*

The tower was a nightmare of death and destruction.

The screams of the fighting and dying were everywhere, the already slain pitted on spears over burning fires. Some of the dead had been turned to nothing but a sludge of organs and smashed bones, as if something massive had crushed them into paste. Others had simply been eviscerated and left on the floor like improvised obstacles, forcing Alistair and Lynn to either jump over them or run around them as they tried to get to their foes.

Everything was dark too, the torches had been snuffed out, instead the only source of light was that of the fires the darkspawn had lit on the floor, illuminating the slain hanging over them and casting macabre shadows across the walls.

And the screams wouldn't _stop_...the ever changing group had already saved at least two dozen soldiers...but found endless others already dead, though the darkspawn who had slain them quickly joined the humans, leaving the floor littered with nothing but the dead.

And through all that..._she_ kept leading them.

Alistair shook his head, shocked at the change in his charge. Not a few hours ago she had barely dared to fight the hurlock opposing her, never mind slay it...now she was at the head of the charge, fighting as if possessed.

"Come on you fucking shems! Forward!" Lynn practically shrieked the words as she vaulted over a table, her sweeping sword cutting the throat of a genlock archer even as she ran up the stairs leading to yet another level of the tower. A hurlock in the way thrust it's sword at her, the agile elf ducked low though, stabbed it in the groin with her dagger...and as it doubled over with a howl she spun away and smashed the pommel of her sword into its back, sending it limply tumbling down the stairs.

Behind her Alistair found himself playing catchup, the fact that he had to pull the tumbling hurlock aside to move after her making him feel clumsy. Glancing back he saw the three men at his back look after the elf with fearful eyes, making him force a smile. "You heard the lady! Lets go!" _Maker_..._I appreciate her hurrying_..._but it's getting men killed_. "Remember your duty!" He shouted the words as much for his own benefit as the others.

The man they had encountered outside the courtyard had been the first to die, the tripwire triggered by the running elf having sent a jet of flame into the man, turning him into screaming torch even as the hurrying elf had dodged the attack and leapt upon a genlock emissary. The man's screams had turned into whimpers by the time Alistair had found time to end his suffering...the sword he'd withdrawn had been more stained by soot than blood.

It hadn't ended with that though, at one time they had been a full dozen. Then Lynn had made them charge a darkspawn barricade. They _could_ have formed a shield wall...or _something_...but instead they had simply charged at it, as mindless as the foes they faced. Except their foes weren't mindless under the guidance of a genlock alpha...and had been waiting...bows at the ready.

Of course Lynn had somehow managed to leap over the barricade...and Alistair had managed to break it apart together with two other guards...and then roared in triumph as he had sunk his blade into the genlock lieutenant.

It had left them with four dead though, and the mage they'd saved from a burning death had been so wounded that they had been forced to leave him to what they all knew would be a grisly fate...Lynn had been the only one not even giving the man a second glance...her eyes set on the objective.

But they _were_ making good time, perhaps good enough for them to make it to the beacon..._in_ _time_..._to save Duncan_. Increasing the pace Alistair waved his bloodied sword at them. "Come on! Hurry!"

He nearly knocked Lynn over as he ran into her back.

Looking down in surprise he found the elf take half a step backwards as her wide eyes looked upwards. Following her gaze to see what could startle the brutal elf so much Alistair saw...

_Ah crap_.

The creature was nearly twice as tall as Alistair, a man taller then most...and nothing but bulging purple muscles and pieces of armour. _Who puts those things on it anyway_? _Must be a bullied genlock or something_... Alistair swallowed, the thoughts not enough to make him forget he was about to be crushed and torn apart. _And eaten, lets not forget that part, oh no_.

The ogre was hunched forward, its massive paws closed around a torn leg, armour and flesh alike torn from the thing as the creature loudly chewed. A clattering of armoured boots behind Alistair made it's huge head turn though...

The ogre's pale blue eyes looked at them with a blank expression...then it focused, eyes narrowing as its brow furrowed, its huge black horns shaking with barely contained rage. Alistair had expected the roar, the bared teeth and the vibration of the air by the sheer _force_ of the ogre's lungs...yet Alistair took a step back when it came, teeth gritted as he endured the _loudness_ of it all.

Then it took a lumbering step forward...and Lynn just _stood_ there! Not that Alistair did anything either...his legs feeling as if they were made of lead as he stared up at the creature. It was just so..._huge_...he knew he should be used to it after having seen them before..._yet_...

Then he saw the beacon, the wood lying ready in the hearth just behind the approaching monster.

"For the grey wardens!" Rushing forward he came at it...and suddenly had all air punched out of him as a sweeping fist the size of his chest smashed into his shoulder and sent him flying...right into a wall. He didn't really hear the crash, nor the cries of his allies...only the thumping of blood in his ears. "Or...ouch..." _Yes, very heroic Alistair_..._man I __am__ a fool_..._my poor ribs_...

Looking up he glimpsed Lynn on the other side of the lumbering monster as she circled the ogre, the woman biting her lower lip with an uncertain look on her face, eyes darting between its massive fists and the horned skull that moved as the monster tracked her movements.

With a growl the monster stepped forward and slammed its right fist at her...only to crush the ground she had stood on as the elf nimbly rolled away, her left hand on the ground and her right with the weapon ready for a thrust against the ogre's forearm. She hesitated though, giving the beast enough time to sweep the fist into a backhanded blow against her...which she somehow managed to avoid yet again...though it forced her back up against a broken pillar. The woman slid backwards and sat down, her wide eyes just staring up at it..._knowing_ she would die.

_Oh no_...Alistair struggled to move, to _help_, but his body still ached...and he only managed a grunt as he got up on his knees.

Instead the three guards came rushing forth, their courage strengthened by the example of the lone warden holding her own....as well as their own numbers. Roaring they crashed into the ogre, two swords digging into the back of its right knee as the third man smashed his axe into its left calf.

The ogre whirled about, the movement tearing the sword out of one man's hand and making the man with the axe stumble backwards, awash with its blood. Roaring at them it swiped its left fist at them and struck the unarmed man, sending him flying...right over Alistair's head and through the stained window behind him.

_At least the storm is too loud for me to hear him scream_...shaking his head Alistair forced himself to rise, to stand.

The ogre wasn't done yet though. Screaming the closest man slashed his sword at it, only to have the blade rebound off its knee. Then he could do nothing but shriek as it jumped...and landed atop him with a crunch. Grinding its feet into the guard the ogre growled in satisfaction even as the man was turned into nothing but broken armour, blood and crushed organs.

_Maker_...Alistair leant down and picked up his dropped sword, the thing feeling heavy in his fatigued arms. _It feels as if I haven't slept in ages_..._but the wardens_..._Duncan_..._they need us. _He tightened his grip on the weapon, forcing himself to ignore the aching of his limbs.

Jumping forth he thrust his sword into the back of the monster's calf...saw the creature pull back its right fist for a backhand blow...and ducked under it with a flourish, spilling its blood all over the floor and drawing a pained roar from the ogre._ Yeah, humans bite too_..._come here and I'll show you_. Retreating from another sweeping blow Alistair gritted his teeth and forced himself to ignore how close the beacon was, instead he focused on the ogre, trying to see a new opening for a strike...

With a cry the last guard raised his axe and charged forward...only to be plucked up mid-stride as the monster whirled about with surprising speed and caught him in its right fist. With a growl the ogre pulled the man closer...and bit his head off.

_By Andraste herself_... Alistair could do nothing but stare in a mix of horror and disgust as the ogre dropped the twitching body to the floor and begun to chew, the crunching sound accompanied by a dribble of blood and slime running down its mouth. _Is it just me_..._or is it smiling_!? Alistair took a step back, then another. _Dear Maker_..._we can't_-

Roaring Lynn came flying. A sweeping dagger drawing a long wound across the left leg of the ogre, a following stab burrowing itself into the beast's hip, making it howl in pain and jerk away from her. The blood practically exploded from the wound in the creature's hip, bathing Lynn in it. She didn't seem to feel it though as she followed the retreating monster, her dagger burying itself to the hilt in the ogre's kneecap with a crack as she moved in between its legs and stabbed upwards with her sword.

The blood flowed...and then the ogre slammed its legs together, making Lynn shout out in sudden pain.

_No_!

Growling in anger the beast reached down with its left fist and plucked the elf from her pinned position. The ogre's mouth twisted into a blood-stained grin as it pulled her up in level with its head, sniffing at her. The woman put her hands against the grip and twisted left and right, trying to free herself, it only seemed to add to its amusement.

_No_, _not_ _another_..._no_.

It opened its maw...and suddenly Alistair was rushing forward, his legs somehow carrying him, despite his exhaustion.

Slamming his shield into the ogre's right knee he made the beast roar and drop the elf...then it roared again as he thrust his sword into its thigh. Spinning away he freed his blade in a flood of blood...and dug it into its left leg, just above the knee where Lynn's dagger was still attached.

With a dull thud the ogre dropped to its knees, snapping Lynn's dagger in an explosion of blood and shattered bones. Looking up Alistair found the creature's mouth mere inches from his head as it looked down at him, its eyes were almost..._tired_...then it growled and opened its mouth to bite at his head.

Pulling his blade free from the ogre's thigh Alistair ducked under the snapping jaws and swept his blade up across its throat.

And was suddenly covered in blood.

Stumbling sideways Alistair blinked, not seeing anything but blood as the gore burnt into his eyes. The pain was nothing compared to the feeling of hearing the ogre crash to the floor though...dead. _Dead_..._it's dead_..._I_..._we_..._killed an ogre_? Blinking again he moved his fingers up to wipe away some of the blood away...and found himself staring at a decidedly dead ogre.

_Maker there's a lot of blood_... It wasn't just on him, but all over the floor where the prone creature lay, not to mention all over its legs where it had bled during the fight...all over the place, wherever it had been wounded...the floor was slick with it. "We...we killed it." He breathed, the words making him grin as he looked over at Lynn.

The elf was grinning back at him, just as soaked in blood as he was. There was no kindness or charm in her grin this time though, only unbridled happiness. "Yes, yes we did." She laughed at him. "You look terrible by the way!"

"Heh, comes from lady blood-shower." Alistair quipped. "Man, Duncan will be so..." His eyes widened. "...Duncan!" Whirling about he saw the hearth, the burning torch stuck to a hanger just next to it, waiting to be used, the blood staining it showing just how close the men before had been at using it. Running forward Alistair tore the torch from the hanger, nearly dropping it due to the slick blood over the handle...and shoved it into the hearth.

With a whoosh the fire was kindled, whatever they had used on the wood working quickly in creating a flash of fiery energy that shot up towards the surface. Alistair smiled at the sight. _Hope_...

Turning he found Lynn still grinning, the woman casually sitting atop the dead ogre as she watched him. "Good work...can we rest now?" She grimaced and moved a hand towards her face, reminding Alistair of just how little rest she must have had. _Can't believe she's still standing_...

Nodding he smiled back. "Yes, rest would be good." He glanced at the dead monster she was sitting on. "So...how's your first day as a warden turning out to be?"

The woman laughed and moved to answer-

Only to fall forward with three arrows sticking out of her back.

Crying out Alistair pulled up his shield to deflect another two shots as a horde of darkspawn suddenly swarmed out from the stairs they had come from, mouths open in victorious roars.

Then he saw a genlock emissary at the head of them, it's hands clutching a burning orb of fire.

_Not again_...

The fireball struck his shield, the sheer force of the explosion sending him flying...right into... _something_...turning everything to a fogy haze.

_Come on_..._get up_..._get_..._up_...

Feeling his body go limp Alistair saw only darkness...and heard nothing but a distant crash and the beating of leathery wings.

_Duncan_...


	12. Chapter 12

She couldn't see, her eyes screwed shut.

Instead there was only darkness and a band of throbbing pain over her chest as something heavy stood upon her, pinning her to the ground. "_**Yes children...feed**_."

_That voice, no_...

"_**Feed upon them**_." She could hear it now, the sound of tearing flesh, of snapping bones. And she felt it too...warm blood...pouring over her as the ground became covered with it. "_**Gorge yourselves.**_"

_No, not again_...

She jerked and opened her mouth to scream, to cry for someone..._anyone_. There was no air though, only blood, blood over her face, her eyes...her mouth. Coughing she tried to pull away, only to find the grip over her chest tighten, squeezing what little air there was left out of her. "_**The morsel awakens...**_"

_Please_...

She was suddenly lifted up in the air, her squirming body a mere plaything to the unseen grip holding her. "_**Why do you close your eyes?**_" The grip tightened, making her cry out. "_**Open them.**_" She tried to shake her head, but the only thing she could was to squeeze her eyes close harder, barely understanding she _could_ do that.

_Is this a dream or_...?

"_**Do you not wish to see?**_" The chuckle tore at her, as if claws were raking the inside of her skull. "_**Your friends await...**_"

_Please_!

"_**We will find you, make you join them.**_" The grip tightened further, crushing her arms, breaking her ribs, making her cry out. "_**Open your eyes!**_"

There was no disobeying the roar, Lynn opened her eyes...

And screamed.

*

*

*

"Ah!" Flying up to a sitting position Lynn reflexively raised her fists over her head, ready to parry any blow. All she could see was a blur though, nothing but hazy shapes...and feel nothing but a sharp pain in her chest as something loudly snapped. "Oooh..." Closing her eyes she moved her left hand down to rub her forehead. "...hurts..."

"I'd imagined so." Came the calm reply. _Calm_? _Duncan_? Lynn grimaced, the image burned into her mind flashing before her eyes. _No_..._no that can't be right_..._and this voice is female_."'Tis quite a few wounds you've received, to be honest I'm surprised you are already up."

_'Tis_...? _Ah_. Rubbing her eyes with her left hand she moved her right to her chest...and found it so tightly wound with a bandage that it was a miracle she could even breath. _Did the wounds from the_..._dream? _..._Turn into_...._real wounds_?_ Or is this the dream_? "And _I'm_ surprised I'm breathing at all..." She shook her head, vainly trying to banish the memory of herself having been crushed from her mind. "...didn't I get..." She frowned, trying to remember. "..shot?"

"Yes, three times in fact." Came the reply as Lynn finally opened her eyes, everything was sharp now, almost painfully so. They were in some sort of house, a little downtrodden, a little sparse in decorations, it almost reminded Lynn of her house in the alienage...save the odd smell this place had, an odd mix of myrrh and..._flowers_? Lynn didn't see any flowers or incense though. "You are welcome by the way."

Focusing back on the only other person in the room, the pale woman looking down at her with her arms crossed in front of her, Lynn nodded, not really knowing what to say. "I...yes." Swinging her legs about she put her feet to the floor, surprised as she realised her feet were bare. "Where are my clothes?"

"Right there, clean too." Morrigan nodded towards the pile of equipment lying in the corner by the door. "For which you, again, are welcome."

Lynn shook her head, realising she was still a little groggy. _Where are my clothes? Of course they took them off to bandage my wounds_... "Good." _Ah, excellent, diplomatic there Lynn_... Ignoring the look the witch shot her she pulled her shoulders back, despite the pain of her bandaged chest it was worth it as something in her back loudly cracked into place. "I...where am I?"

"In my mother's hut, my home." Morrigan answered, then noticed the look Lynn gave her, smirking she elaborated: "She tells me she turned to an eagle and _plucked_ you from the tower...quite a fanciful story, but I do not care for such specifics." She cocked her head to the side, the smirk not leaving her lips. "The important part, for _you_ that is, is that you are here, alive...despite your best efforts."

If Lynn could she would have chuckled at the insulting joke, as it was she could only look down at her chest and wonder at the tightly wound bandage covered her entire torso, a smaller one around her right thigh where she remembered a genlock blade having penetrated her armour. "We...lost...didn't we?"

"I...yes." The witch sounded a little surprised at Lynn already knowing, but covered it up quickly with a question. "Was this not an alternative in your mind? You didn't think you _could_ lose?"

Lynn shook her head, her hands coming down to grip at the edge of the bed. "I don't get it...we lit the beacon...didn't we? Did Loghain's charge come too late?"

"If you're referring to the charge of those men behind that ridge...it never came."

"_What_!?" Lynn's head snapped up as she shot Morrigan a glare, making the witch frown in irritation. _Oh right_..._she's being helpful_...Lynn forced her features to soften. "I mean...they didn't charge?"

"The man you call Loghain quit the field, the signal went unheeded."

Lynn felt her body stiffen, her muscles tense. "I...but..._why_!?"

"I don't know." The other woman shrugged, her golden eyes betraying her disinterest. "I'm sure he had a reason."

"Reason..." Lynn felt her hands cramp up as she gripped the edge of the bed, nails digging into the wood. "...he had a _duty_ to the king and Ferelden!"

The witch shrugged once more. "_Apparently_ he _disagreed_."

"That son of a...I'll gut him for this." Lynn growled, then winced as she tried to get up. "...though not right now." The witch smirked at her, making Lynn bare her teeth in defiant anger. "But I promise you...he'll _pay_." _Duty_..._do these men know nothing of it_!? Lynn had a feeling it wouldn't be the first time she would think that thought. "And the king?"

_I know the answer, why do I ask_?_ Do I wish the strange dream to be wrong_?_ I know it isn't_... Morrigan's shaking head was all she needed though. "Dead, as is the majority of your army, and the wardens..." _I knew it, yet I had to ask_...Lynn blinked, forcing away the beginning of a tear. Why she had to do it she wasn't sure...she hadn't known anyone but Duncan there after all...and they were just a bunch of shem warriors...yet they had in a way been her new family...and one was _supposed_ to cry for family. _My_ d_uty_..._I'll put that one off till later_. The witch paused, watching Lynn closely, making her raise her chin to glare back...for some reason it made Morrigan smile as she spoke: "Your _friend_ is not taking it well."

"You mean another survivor...friend..." Lynn frowned in confusion. _That dog_? _No, it was probably killed now that the darkspawn have taken Ostagar_..._and I know Duncan is dead_..._Daveth_? _No, no he's dead too_..._Alistair_! "You mean the guy with me at the tower?"

"Yes, the dimwitted one." Lynn snorted in amusement, making the witch smile, the smile quickly faded though. "He is quite a nuisance, I had to force him out of the house _four_ times already...apparently he does not trust my intentions with you."

Lynn nodded as she muttered: "Well what do you know? He's not totally naïve." To her surprise Morrigan chuckled at the words, looking up she forced a grin at the witch. "And what? He wanted to cop a feel?" She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. The thought was just...inconceivable..._annoying man_.

"Not at all." Morrigan laughed, a faraway look on her face. "Actually the mention of you being naked was a very good way to make him _leave_." She shot Lynn a smirk. "Stupid isn't he?"

"A little." Lynn nodded and smirked back._ Hmm, maybe I can use this whole 'afraid of skin' thing to my advantage later_? "So...I guess I owe you something..." She glanced at her equipment in the corner. M_aybe she's already taken every coin_..._though that's not likely_..._why did they save us anyway_? "So name your price, I will pay it."

"I desire nothing of yours." Morrigan replied with a shrug. "Besides, I only dressed your wounds, my mother is the one who healed you, you owe _her_, not me."

"I...erm..." Lynn hesitated as she struggled to her feet and tossed aside the worn blanket sticking to her sweaty body, to her relief Morrigan made no comment about the horrible dream the witch must have known she had had. "..._thank_ _you_ then...it feels as if I owe you more."

"I..." Morrigan hesitated as well, her head slightly turned away....then she made a dismissive gesture. "...you are welcome."

Suddenly feeling awkward Lynn quickly padded over to the corner where her things lay, tugging forth the armour and the cloth supposed to go beneath it. Both were cleaned as Morrigan had said, though there were still marks and tears in it from where blows had gotten through to her flesh. Shrugging aside the memories of it Lynn quickly moved to dress as she heard Morrigan go about with...whatever it was she was doing.

When she turned back to face her the witch was stirring a large black kettle by the hearth, not paying Lynn more than a glance. "Mother is awaiting outside, I would go meet her if I were you."

"Yes, I will." Lynn nodded, still feeling a little awkward. It quickly faded as she turned and went through the door however.

Alistair and Morrigan's mother stood by the lake outside the house, both staring out over it. Morrigan's mother seemed to be smirking while Alistair...judging by the footprints dug into the ground, was worried beyond words. _Well he did just lose his entire family_...Lynn was actually a bit surprised he wasn't crying his eyes out.

Morrigan's mother quickly turned her head as Lynn approached, apparently the old woman had the hearing of a bat. "Ah, awake at last, told you there was nothing to worry about boy."

"Oh thank the Maker!" Alistairs shoulders visibly dropped, his entire stance changing as some of his tension disappeared. "I'm so relieved you're alive!" He was suddenly striding towards her, arms out wide. _He can't think_...she could do nothing but wince in pain as the man suddenly picked her up in a great hug. "I was so afraid..."

_What? You barely know me_...wincing as the pressure over her chest built Lynn realised her probably spoke of something else. _Like being left as the only warden in Ferelden_... Patting his shoulder she managed to speak, despite her crushed lungs. "Yes, well, I'm fine..._really_...please let go before I die...!"

"Oh." Alistair dropped her so fast Lynn nearly fell over as her feet once more connected with the ground., stepping back the man moved a hand to scratch the back of his head as his face turned red. "S-sorry...I'm just a little..." He sighed and looked away, the blush instantly disappearing as a pensive look appeared on his face. "I still...just can't believe it..." He looked back at her, not even trying to hide the pain in his eyes. "They're dead, the king, Duncan...the wardens...all of them."

"I know." Lynn nodded and looked down at the dirt. _Okay, think_. _Your duty is first to the alienage_..._should you leave this then_? _But you also swore an oath to the wardens, or rather_..._you're bound to them by blood_. _But either duty demands_..._to stop the blight, yes_... Looking up she squared her shoulders and met Alistair's pained gaze. "But we're alive, the fight isn't over."

"How can you _say_ that!?" Alistair withdrew, the pain in his eyes somehow doubling. "They're all _dead_! I know we should go on....but I just don't know _how_! The wardens...Duncan...they're all dead...and everything's just hopeless!"

Lynn had to bite her lip not to snort, feeling Morrigan's mother's eyes on her, judging her. _Back in the alienage the situation is always hopeless_...the thought brought her a strange comfort, she knew perfectly well what to do in those situations, you trudged on, made the best of things, and _didn't_ dwell on the current situation. "Alistair, we're alive, we're wardens, we fight the blight, or am I wrong?"

"I...no." The man straightened a little and blinked away a solitary tear. "No, we do." He visibly shuddered as a he took a deep breath. "Sorry, I...just sorry."

"It's quite alright." _Big baby_..._you don't cry before others_...

To her surprise Alistair actually managed a weak smile, though it was just a shadow of what he was capable of. "I...guess it's good that we're alive at least, we've got Flemeth here to thank for that."

"Fle..." Lynn blinked and looked over at the old woman smirking at her. "As in _the_ Flemeth? _The_ Flemeth saved us?"

"A name is just a name." The woman snorted, though her eyes still smirked back at her. "We have covered this already girl...question is...what will you _do_ with this continued life I've given you."

Alistair frowned and scratched the back of his head, the pain in his eyes mixed with thoughtfulness. "I...don't rightly know. With Loghain betraying us...I'm sure he's already taken steps to stop any wardens from doing their duty, not that there's much _two_ wardens _can_ do..." He grimaced. "As to the ones with the Orlesians...I'm sure _they_ won't come with Cailan gone, Loghain won't allow it."

"Those are things you _don't_ have." Flemeth pointed out and eyed Alistair, something in her eyes making the man take a step back. "What _do_ you have?"

"I...well Eamon's still around." Alistair managed, a light suddenly appearing in his eyes as he looked back at Lynn, a dulled eagerness in his voice. "Of course! Eamon will help us, he's a good man, respected, he will hear us out, help us stop Loghain."

"Really?" Lynn shrugged, not really knowing the details of Ferelden politics. Of course she knew how everything worked...but was this arl Eamon a big player? She had no idea, though Alistair seemed convinced of it so... "And he'll help us because of this? You think you can convince him we're in the right?"

"I'm..." The man got an odd look in his face. "...quite sure of it yes...he practically raised me."

"_Really_?" Lynn shook her head, _one story at a time_... "Now, besides him we must have others, the wardens surely have connections." She looked at Alistair as the man thought about it, his brow furrowed, she wasn't sure how long he had been a grey warden...but had a feeling it hadn't been long. _Please let Duncan have taught him something_...

It was Flemeth who spoke up instead. "Those documents I gave you, were they not treaties?"

"Of course!" Alistair nodded as a light lit up in his eyes once more, this time making him forget some of his pain by the looks of things. "Wardens can demand aid from the dwarves and the dalish...not to mention the circle of magi!"

"The dalish elves?" Lynn spoke up. _Dalish_..._I've always wanted to see them_... Clearing her throat she continued: "And mages? Dwarves? That sounds like quite..._a_ _lot_ actually." She managed a smile for Alistair's sake. "See? No problem, I've gotten out of fort Drakon with nothing but a stick at my disposal, this'll be a breeze." _Of course the stick had been of steel, pointed and sharp_..._and I had nearly died crawling through the sewage system_..._but no need mentioning that_. _And_..._Maker are we alone in this_!?

Alistair visibly relaxed at the assurance, obviously not spotting her own worm of worry. Flemeth just chuckled. "Ah, so you can gather an army then? Strong enough to stop the blight? This warms my old heart."

_Is she taunting us_? Lynn found no sign in the eyes looking back at her...or rather _through_ her, seeing her doubts. Growling Lynn straightened her back, refusing to allow an old lady stare her down, no matter _how_ powerful she might be. "Of course we are, it's our duty is it not?" _And at least I do my duty_.

Flemeth nodded slowly at that, a small smirk on her lips as she looked back to Alistair. "And you? Will you still stand with her in this? It will not be an easy journey."

"Of course." Alistair scoffed. "There is nothing else _to_ do." _And there it is again_..._a backbone_..._at least this means I'll have company_....Lynn found herself relieved. _At least human company is company_...

"Good." Lynn shot the man a short nod of appreciation before turning her focus to the amused-looking Flemeth. "Now...you've saved us and I know you wish some sort of payment-"

The old witch instantly raised a hand. "No, no need wardens, you stopping the blight will be payment enough." _Oh for_...Lynn found her eyes narrow in annoying..._I hate owing people_! _Just give me some way of paying you back_! As if hearing her Flemeth smiled down at Lynn and said: "Although...I might ask you a favour."

"Name it." Lynn snapped.

"The stew is ready mother." Morrigan spoke up as the woman came towards them, smirking slightly as her gaze darted to Alistair, the other warden suddenly looking very uncomfortable. "Shall these wardens eat with us...or shall we simply shoo them on their way?"

"They are just leaving daughter...with you."

"Such a..." Morrigan's smirk died as she turned to stare at her mother. "...what?"

Flemeth laughed at her daughter, and to be fair the shocked look on Morrigan's face was a bit fun...but Lynn still found it a little creepy. _It's your daughter and_..._wait_..._with_ _us_!? "Oh don't give me that! You've been dying to get out of the wilds for months girl, here is your chance."

"But mother I'm not ready and..." Morrigan shot the two wardens a look. "..._this_ is not how I wanted it!"

"Morrigan please...without these two wardens Ferelden is doomed, even _I_ will not survive the blight, is that what you want?"

"I..." Morrigan looked as if she had just bitten into a lemon, then visibly slouched in defeat. "...understand."

"Not to be ungrateful or anything..." Alistair muttered, a hand raised as if he was nothing but a boy. Lynn rolled her eyes at him, not that he noticed it, o_h for_.... "...but outside of the wilds she's an apostate, she could very much get us all three burnt on the stake by her mere presence." _Well_..._uh_..._that's kind of_..._a_ _valid concern_...dammit.

"She can lead you safely through the wilds...and has powerful magics to aid you in your journey" Flemeth argued, not the least ruffled by Alistair's protest, though Morrigan shot him a glare. "And if you do not wish help of us apostates...well I can always take you back to the tower if you wish, I'm sure the darkspawn there would find it amusing."

"Point...taken." Alistair grumbled and looked away, then glanced down at Lynn. "So...I guess that's it then?"

"Yes." Lynn confirmed and turned to Morrigan. "If you have nothing to pack I'd like to leave now." _Of course my body still aches all over_..._but I have a feeling showing weakness before you would be a bad idea_. "Or do you need rest after tending to my wounds?"

The question had the desired effect, raising her chin Morrigan snorted, shot her mother an annoyed glare that was met only with a smirk...and turned on her heel to begin marching right into the forest. "Very well, follow me wardens..." Then she added, so low Lynn barely picked it up. "By all the spirits..."

Shooting the worried-looking Alistair an amused look Lynn moved to follow...

Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help.


	13. Chapter 13

_The wardens_..._Duncan_...

The grief tore at Alistair, making him glare at the ground where his armoured boots were sinking into the mud that was supposed to be a road.

It had been raining for two days since the events at Ostagar, two days where Alistair had practically lived in the wilds, staring out over the lake while letting the grief tear at him in between his bouts of worries over the only other warden left in Ferelden. When Lynn had awoken the weather had finally changed, as if to greet her...or to taunt Alistair, he wasn't sure which. Yet the ground was still a mire of mud from the earlier storm...making progress slow.

Alistair didn't rightly mind though, at least the mud was a depressing sight, something that matched his mood, instead of the painfully nice sun above him... He wanted to scream at it, cry out at the sky and tell the rain to return, to come back and sweep him along in a depressing drizzle....but he settled for glaring at the ground, teeth clenched in bitterness.

He hadn't cried since Lynn had awoken, not said anything about...everything...only exchanged a few words, then he had gone back to silence, preferring it.

_Duncan_...he felt the sting in the corners of his eyes and furiously blinked the beginning of his tears away. _No, I'm done with that, it's not_..._just no_.

It had been something in Lynn's words, her _stance_...that had made him shove the grief back in the corners of his mind, to ignore the pain as best he could. _Not that it's going that well_... He grimaced and shook his head, somehow shaking aside the cowl of grief threatening to envelope him. _Maker_..._I feel so alone_.

He knew it was selfish of him, to think of his grief as a personal one. He _should_ be grieving for the loss of lives, for the many spouses who would never again see their husbands and wives, for Ferelden itself, now threatened to be destroyed in civil war and the spreading blight... Yet all that felt secondary to his own heart, to the pain of knowing his entire adopted family was _dead_, that Duncan, his _mentor_, was _gone_...that he was left alone with a task far beyond his abilities.

_I am selfish_...the thought didn't sit well with him, and it was with a grumble he forced himself to raise his head, to focus on something else but the wall he had built between his consciousness and his grief. _Maybe that way it'll go away_...

Ahead of them Lynn and Morrigan were walking side by side, completely oblivious to the surrounding forest that might hold untold darkspawn. _Not that I can sense any_..._maybe they're still at Ostagar_? The thought made him grimace, and focus all the more on the pair to distract himself.

It was kind of strange to see. The two women were walking side by side, yet separated by nearly six feet...and somehow they both managed to make trudging through mud look easy. With Lynn it was more understandable, the little elf light enough not to really sink into the mud properly, the crust above it just enough to hold her up. As for Morrigan...Alistair suspected something foul there.

They had, for the majority of the day, kept up their apparently inane conversation. What fragments of it Alistair had picked up from his depressed march behind them had struck him as _absurd_. There had been the comments about the weather, the animals, their path, their _eyes_ of all things...not to mention Lynn's weapons and Morrigan's staff. Alistair didn't really understand _why_ they were talking about all that...but even more confusing was the oddly cold kindness in their voices, that their compliments didn't really seem honest...despite the friendly smiles they kept up.

_They're friendly_..._yet I expect them to attack one another at any moment_..._how can that be_?

Shrugging Alistair decided to forget about it, he couldn't claim to understand women...and _especially_ not those two.

First there was Morrigan. Alistair had to admit that she was beautiful..._technically_...yet whenever he looked at her he just shuddered in revulsion. Not only was she an apostate, and taking some sort of sick pride in it, but she was _mean_ too! Back in Flemeth's home the young woman had made no attempt to conceal her disgust with him, everything he said and done was something to _scoff_ at! Every meal had been tinged with bitterness...not just in the taste of them, which he was sure she did on purpose...but in the way Morrigan made it her business to ignore him, making him feel unwanted.

And then there were the ways she had made him leave when trying to make sure his fellow warden was okay...Alistair's face burned at the memory of suddenly having to shut his eyes _very_ tightly... Not to mention the time the witch had decided to move her pot of soup in front of the door so that he spilt it all over the floor when he made another attempt at entering... And then had forced him to mop the floor and make a new soup for them...all complemented with a string of barbed insults that dug far too deep into his pride than they should have.

At least Lynn was _okay_ now...the only other warden in Ferelden, who barely even knew what it entitled...yet seemed to take the responsibility suddenly thrust upon her in better stride then he was...it shamed him.

Frowning he eyed the woman a little closer. He wasn't quite sure what to make of her, at times she seemed so sweet...strangely so even...and at others she was...a bit of a bitch actually. The memory of her wanting to abandon the injured soldier in the wilds was still fresh in his mind, as was the way she heedlessly had used the men at her back when they had stormed the tower. Perhaps the second one was just due to tactical inability...yet Alistair vividly remembered the curses she had thrown at them to get them going, how she had ignored the deaths of those fighting at her insistence...it wasn't something one forgot.

Yet she had survived the joining, gotten them to the top of the tower in time...even if it didn't help...and seemed far more determined in saving them from the blight then he felt...which was as admirable as it was strange. _She strikes me as careless and harsh_..._yet_..._damn, I'm sure Duncan would be happy she's with me_...

Alistair felt it once more, the stab of pain in his heart. But before he could even try to focus on something else to distract him there was a loud bark echoing across the road.

Instantly drawing his sword he craned his neck to try and locate the sound, the second bark telling him it came from ahead of them. Morrigan already had he staff ready, a small crackle of energy at its tip...and Lynn visibly shook as she drew her weapons, making Alistair grimace in sympathy. _It's easy to forget she's still injured at a casual look_...

Then she lowered her weapons as a mabari came running through the under-brush ahead of them, tongue sticking out of its mouth as it came hurtling towards them. Taking a step forward Lynn gestured for Morrigan to lower her staff...and then she shot Alistair a look as he came running up to them, he somehow managed to glare back. "It might be dangerous!"

"It's a _dog_."

"A _mabari_ dog!" Alistair shot back, sword still at the ready as the slobbering thing of fur and dirt came flying at them. "And here it comes!"

With a whine it skidded to a stop, eyeing Alistair and Lynn with a tilted head.

Then Lynn shrugged off the hand he didn't knew he had placed on her shoulder and crouched down, her head tilting along with that of the dog's. "Don't worry...I..." She frowned, a look of confusion passing her features. "...know this one?"

The mabari barked happily back and wagged its..._his_...little tail.

"Ostagar...right?"

With another happy bark the dog sat down in the mud, mouth open as he panted heavily.

"How did you escape?"

With a low whine the dog lowered its head, almost making it look as if he was being ashamed.

"Hid huh? Clever."

The whine continued, but there was a dutiful little bark at the end.

"There's no shame in hiding, it's called being smart."

"Excuse me...are you _talking_...to the _dog_?" Alistair suddenly voiced the question, unable to hold it back for longer. "I mean, mabari are smart, I know...but _talking_?"

The dog suddenly turned its large eyes to him...and _growled_, drawing a chuckle from the elf. "I know, but it seems to work doesn't it?" With another chuckle she reached out and scratched the mutt between his ears, eliciting a pleased sound from deep within his chest. _Is it just me...or did that thing just purr_!? "So...what should I call you?"

"How about slobbering nuisance?" Morrigan suggested, her staff removed and her arms crossed in front of her. The dog shot her a hurt look. "What? Don't give me that."

Alistair shook his head and took a step back as he rolled his eyes. "Great, now both ladies are talking to the dog..."

"How about..." There was a moment of hesitation as the woman thought it over. "...Marby?" The dog barged happily at that.

"Marby?" Alistair echoed, frowning as he turned to look back at Lynn. "Why..._Marby_?"

The woman shot him an indecipherable look...then shrugged as she looked back to the mabari and playfully tugged at his long ears. "Why not? It's a good name, right Marby?" _And there it is again_! _I swear the dog is purring_...

"So the slobbering thing comes with us? _Great_..." Morrigan muttered, looking away with a decidedly uninterested look on her face.

"Yes, yes _he_ does." Lynn replied, shooting Morrigan a look.

The witch met the look for a moment, then shrugged and looked away, sighing. "Very well..."

Alistair managed a weak smile at that, anything annoying the witch was a good thing after all. "Heh..._Marby_ the _mabari_...that's kind of funny."

The elf shot him another indecipherable look at that, then rose from her crouched position and squared her shoulders. "Right then, come Marby." The dog happily slipped up to Lynn's side, nose pushing up against her hip as she took the lead.

And Alistair couldn't help but notice that Morrigan followed a step _behind_ the two...for some reason that made him smile.

*

*

*

"This looks bad." Alistair carefully nodded as the three...he glanced at the dog almost pressing up against Lynn's leg as she walked...four...made their way down the gentle slope, finally escaping the thick forest of the wilds...that the path was paved with stones now was also a welcome change.

"What?" Morrigan asked, a step ahead of him as the two followed Lynn and her mabari. "The town below us? 'Tis looking a little dingy I admit, but no more so then they usually are...how you people can call a forest filthy I can never understand."

"First of all, that's a _village_, not a town." The witch scoffed at him, _of course_. "And I meant the large group of tents there, there's obviously a small army of refugees down there."

"And this concerns us how?" Morrigan asked, one elegant eyebrow arched.

"Well...it doesn't...really." Alistair shook his head and took a deep breath before gesturing over the many tents. "I meant that it's bad because there's no way all of those people can get away...they'll die when the darkspawn reach this place."

"So?"

"So!?" Alistair spluttered. "So it's a horrible fate awaiting them! So there's nothing we can do for them! Which is _bad_!"

"I still fail to see how this concerns us."

"Of course you do..." Alistair felt his shoulders drop as he instead chose to focus on Lynn and the fact that they were approaching the end of the hill where the road was coming down to a viaduct of white stone...which was in extreme disrepair by the looks of it. _Not to mention those broken down carts...it's always nice to be slapped with the desperation of things, no pressure for the warden here, no-seer_...

"So that's it? No explanation as to what's so horrible?" Morrigan pressed, not satisfied.

Sighing Alistair pinched the bridged of his nose. "I'm pretty sure someone without a heart can understand." Morrigan scoffed, _again_. _I'm going to hate that_... "I'm saying that I feel sympathy for the poor people that will die, that's all."

"They chose to settle here did they not? If they wanted to they could leave, could they not? Why feel compassion for those without the courage to act in the face of oblivion?" Morrigan shook her head. "'Tis foolishness to feel pity for people too weak to even save themselves."

"Well aren't you just a bag of sunshine?" Alistair sighed and instead focused on Lynn. "Hey, could you tell little miss creepy over here to..." Then he noticed the men appearing from behind the wrecked carts. "...uh oh."

There were four of them, one of them already having a loaded crossbow at the ready in the rear, the one next to him slowly drawing his sword with a wicked look on his face. At the front there was a tall man of powerful build, a sizable maul strapped to his back and a dumb look on his face. The one who obviously lead them though was a little further ahead...and had an uncanny resemblance to Daveth...though looked a little more vicious. "How nice, men with little blades, I've been itching to kill something ever since Alistair here opened his mouth..." Morrigan chuckled at the look he shot her.

Not rising to the bait Alistair instead hurried a little closer to Lynn and whispered. "They're highwaymen, we should be careful..."

"I _know_ they're highwaymen." Lynn snorted, almost sounding like Morrigan for a moment. "You don't think I recognise fellow scum when I see them?"

"Eh...what? What do you mean?"

Before Alistair could get an answer Lynn pulled away and came to a quick stop in front of the four men, a small smile on her lips. "Well hello there, wonderful weather isn't it?"

_What the_...?

The leader of the bandits smiled back, his teeth slightly bared as he thought the woman before him a fool not to recognise the situation. "Indeed it is! And greetings to you too!" He chuckled and glanced at his buddies. "I'm afraid there is quite a lot of damage to this road, citizen, we're here collecting a toll to repair it."

"Really? Wow, that must be a hard job with all the people so desperate..." Lynn smiled and put her hands behind her back as she leant on one leg, making Alistair blink in surprise. _How can one in arms and armour manage to look so cute so quickly_!? "...I'm sure there's many not wanting to pay, how _do_ you manage?"

"We're not really collecting a toll." The dumb one said, his voice as sounding as stupid as the man looked. "We're just robbing you."

"I..." The leader shot the dumb one an irritated look. "...yes..._thank you_...I think they understood that." He shrugged as he looked back at Lynn. "Terribly sorry about that, manners isn't his strong suit, a mere fifty silvers and you may all pass."

"Robbing refugees are you?" Alistair growled, fingers itching to draw his sword.

The leader flashed him a wolfish grin. "_Robbing_ is such an ugly word...we're _relieving_ them of things that might weight them down during their travels, that's all." He looked back down at Lynn. "So little lady, I'm sure a pretty girl like yourself can afford this small toll...and then we will bother you no longer."

"_Pretty_ am I?" Lynn suddenly took a slow step forward, a sweet smile on her lips. "Well in that case...maybe I _don't_ have to pay the toll?"

The leader of the bandits chuckled at that, then smirked at the elf. "I'm afraid _pretty_ doesn't do it lady...money in the pocket is what makes me a happy man."

"There are many ways to become..._happy_." She sauntered closer to the bandit leader until she was practically pressing up against him, making the man leer down at her. "Payment in happiness isn't always in _coinage_...is it?"

Alistair grimaced at the sultry voice of his_ fellow warden_ and looked away. "I think I'm going to be sick..." At his side Morrigan simply chuckled.

"You _do_ make a point...perhaps we should-ah!" Snapping back to look at the scene before him Alistair found Lynn standing one her toes as she leant against the man...and pressing a curved little knife against the bandit leader's throat.

Instantly every bandit begun scrambling for their weapons...and then stopped as the leader raised a hand in order, his eyes wide as he looked down at the elf. Alistair shuddered, seeing the sweet smile still on the woman's lips. "So...you've been doing this for some time now have you?"

"Y-yes." The man swallowed, stance stiff, a bead of sweat running down his forehead, all confidence gone.

"So you have gathered up some money already then?"

"Y-yes." The man managed a minor nod backwards, then gasped as the dagger against the throat slightly dug into his flesh. "I-it's right behind the cart! Take it! Take it all!"

"I will." Lynn drew her knife sideways...and suddenly the man was gasping for air as blood poured from his throat, stumbling backwards one hand went to clutch the wound, the other to reach after the elf so casually stepping back...and then the man dropped to the ground, dead. "Thank you."

The remaining bandits hesitated, all staring at the still smiling elf. "Marby..._fetch_!"

With a bark the dog leapt forward...and sent the man with the crossbow falling unto his back as the dog dug his teeth into the man's jugular.

The man with the sword leapt to help his downed comrade...only to collapse as Morrigan blasted him with a bolt of eldritch energy, sending the smoking body crashing into a broken cart with a crash.

The dumb bandit swung after Lynn with his swinging maul...and suddenly cried out as Alistair moved without thinking, his sword cutting off the swinging hands at the wrists and sending the weapon flying away. There was a cry of pain as the man fell to his knees...and then Lynn buried the already bloodied dagger into his forehead.

All went quiet.

And then the dead bandit collapsed.

"What...the..." Alistair blinked and looked around himself, shocked at the sudden explosion of violence and how quickly it had ended. "Why did you do that for!?"

Chuckling Lynn crouched down by the dead leader of the bandits and pulled off his boot, making a small pouch of jingling money roll out. "Know the tricks, get the licks."

"I...have no idea what that means." Alistair shook his head, sheathing his sword with a sigh. "I know they were bandits but...you can't just..._why_?"

Lynn shot him an amused look. "What an odd question...they were bandits." She shrugged and went to tear at the armour of the leader. "Not to mention that we're low on cash...now strip them."

"You can't be..." Alistair sighed, realising all too well that she was serious. "..._fine_, as you desire."

Morrigan chuckled at Alistair as he moved to follow Lynn's example with one of the dead bandits. "Well _this_ is interesting...a follower are you?"

"Shut up."

"Even with her being the junior warden?"

"_Please_ shut up?"

"Even with you clearly not agreeing to this amusing little scuffle?"

"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?"

The witch merely chuckled, her deft fingers moving to pilfer the pockets of the body whose armour Alistair was trying to pull off, a smile on her lips. "Maybe this won't be so bad after all..."

"Maker! Just shut up!"


	14. Chapter 14

"Okay..._this_...I don't get."

"Only _this_?"

"Oh shut it Morrigan, this is _confusing_."

"I bet."

"You know what? I wasn't talking to you."

Rolling her eyes Lynn chose to ignore her fellow warden as she kissed the little red-headed child on the forehead and closed his fingers around the fifteen silvers she'd given him. Withdrawing she smiled at the boy whose large eyes looked up at her with an almost painful innocence. "Go to the chantry boy, they'll take care of you until..." She managed to hide her grimace. _Of course she's without a doubt dead_. "...until you're mother comes find you."

"You're a nice lady." The boy replied, his voice high in pitch, lisping...and just _adorable_. "Father says elves aren't nice, but you're _really_ nice."

Normally she would have frowned at the words, the reminder of her _inferiority_, but not in this instance, instead she simply smiled and ruffled the boy's hair. "Well you're nice _too_...now get going scamp."

Watching the kid run away towards the chantry Lynn still managed to keep up the smile as Morrigan snorted. "Great, next we'll help kittens down trees..." Lynn shot the witch a superior smirk, making her roll her eyes in surrender.

Of course _he_ then spoke up again. "So let me get this straight..._first_ you help the cruel merchant...and _then_ you give fifteen percent of the profit you made to a child?" She heard the creak of his heavy mail armour as he shrugged. "Not that I'm complaining about the later part mind you...but it seems a little..._inconsistent_."

_What's a percent_? Annoyed Lynn chose to ignore the reminder of her lack of education in favour of turning to glare at Alistair. "Sure, because I'm a heartless elf only concerned with money...right?"

"What? No, nono.." The man raised his hands in to placate her, but they quickly dropped as he cocked his head to the side and shot her an odd look. "And that's actually part of my point, what about those elves with their little daughter that we passed before all this? You just blew those off...and they were both elves _and_ had a kid." He shrugged. "Sorry but...I don't get your thinking here."

"Do I _need_ to explain myself?" Lynn crossed her arms in front of her and raised an eyebrow, daring Alistair to continue his questioning.

To her surprise the man met her eyes. She had seen the way he walked and looked, he was obviously hurting and trying very hard not to let it take effect...but at the moment it was pushed so far back she could barely see it. "Yes, or at least it would make things go smoother."_ Huh, well aren't you full of surprises_...

Shrugging she conceded the point. "It's quite simple. That child is alone, unlike that _elven_ girl he doesn't _have_ parents...no one protecting him, in the alienage we take care of children like that until they've grown up." _And I find kids adorable_..._which I __really__ shouldn't mention_. "And if you think that family being _elves_ would affect me you would be wrong, they're not from _my_ alienage, why should I care for them?" The man pulled back a little at the question, frowning, obviously not understanding. _What? You think humans feel an obligation to __all__ humans now all of a sudden_? "As for the merchant...well that was just good business." She nodded at her own words, smiling a little at the memory. _Very__ good, scaring some people off for a whole sovereign_?_ One can __really__ make money on war apparently_..._shame I didn't find out about this sooner_...

"_Good_ business?" The man grimaced, drawing a smirk from Morrigan and Lynn both. "He's ripping people off! People who barely have anything to begin with!"

"Well then maybe they should be a little clever and find a way to pay him or otherwise get a hold of his stock?" Lynn replied, feeling a little smug at the stunned stare she received. "Who am I to argue with the free market? It's the same thing that keeps the prices of elven services in the dirt after all...or do you disagree with such thinking now that it affects _your_ people?"

"Don't make this about race!" Alistair snapped, clearly annoyed and not at all put off by her reply. _Heh, good, I hate working with idiots_. "There's barely _any_ elves here! This was about you making a profit and leaving these people to struggle due to the only merchant in town being a greedy swine!"

"Yes...so?" Lynn shrugged. "We get some extra money in the pocket, the people already doomed stay doomed unless they take some initiative of their own...and the man who bought his merchandise _honestly_ gets to continue with _honest_ business...high prices aren't illegal, or did you forget?"

"No but..." The man shook his head furiously before gesturing dismissively at her. "Ah forget it!You're as bad as Morrigan."

Lynn couldn't help it,smiling sweetly she cocked her head to the side and used the most adorable voice she was capable of. "Aww..._thank_ _you_!" Turning on her heel as the ex-templar stared at her in shock and confusion Lynn barely heard Morrigan's chuckle and follow-up insult, drawing a groan from Alistair, as she strode across the bridge and towards where she recognised an inn to be...judging by the barely legible sign hanging over the door.

_Maker I'm parched_...

Making a mental note to listen in on the gossip outside the tavern later...especially the muttering about circle tower being under attack or whatever...Lynn pushed through the door and frowned at the smell assaulting her.

Sure, an inn like this one naturally smelled of cheap beer, smoke and the odd vomit...not to mention that of many smelly bodies. But here something had gone _wrong_, the smell of alcohol and smoke was secondary to the utter _stench_ of unwashed bodies...judging by the pressing heat and the sight of the many dirty humans packed together it wasn't hard to guess what was going on.

Sighing she felt her shoulders drop._ Every single one wants to drown their sorrows_..._and no one's willing to leave to the depressed sight outside_..._and I can't even __get__ to the bar_! "By all the spirits, this is repugnant!" Ignoring Morrigan's snort and Alistair's chuckle Lynn craned her neck, trying to spot some sort of way to get through. All she found was a red-headed chantry sister staring at her for some reason, a bald man grinning at the many customers, lots of dirty tunics with their backs to her...and an grim looking human in full armour striding up to her.

_Oh for the love of_...gritting her teeth Lynn met the eyes of the glaring man as he pushed past a customer and came to a stop in front of her, another armoured human was instantly at his side, and at the corners of her eyes she could spot two more..._I haven't even done anything yet_!

"Well-well, look at this men." The man's voice was rough and crude, used to shouting orders, placing a hand on his sheathed sword the man squared his shoulders, making himself look larger then he was. _Yes, I who've faced darkspawn am really intimidated_...Lynn forced herself not to roll her eyes as she met the stare of her opponent. "Did we not pass around a description of these very wardens? And did people not claim they hadn't seen them?"

The atmosphere instantly changed, from a depressed cramped feeling it turned to sudden fear and a feeling of being cornered, the sounds of the customers dying out.

"Seems we were lied to." The man to his superior's left replied with a nod.

Instantly the people in the inn began pulling back, as far towards the bar as possible. Ignoring the herd of cattle Lynn cocked her head to the side, too tired to do the whole 'seductive-smile' thing she instead settled for a weary look, which was anything _but_ difficult to assume. "Look, I don't know who you think I am, but I assure you I'm simply another defeated soldier here to get a drink before I continue my retreat."

"Sure you are, _elf_." The soldier snorted and raised a rolled up scroll for her to see. "I have your picture drawn here, you and that friend of yours are wardens."

Knowing the game was up Lynn simply shrugged, looking as disinterested as possible. "And what if we are? You want to join us or something?"

"Ha!" The man laughed and shot the men with him a look, drawing chuckles from them. "Not quite woman, Loghain has marked you wardens as traitors of the crown and put quite a price on your heads, and I intend to collect."

Ignoring Alistair's gasp of disbelief Lynn nodded to herself._ Ah, of course, clever man_... "How very political of him...though you realise that he's the traitor I assume?" It was more out of a sense of duty then any real hope of stopping the brewing fight she asked the question. _Maker, I'm still tired_..._can't I get a rest_..._is it too much to ask for_!?

"Lies will not save you, _warden_!" The man spat the title at her as if it was a curse, the grip on his sword tightening.

Then a hand was suddenly clasping his shoulder. Startled both he and Lynn turned their heads, finding themselves confronted by the red-headed chantry girl Lynn had only noticed in passing...though she had somehow missed the very unchantrylike knife strapped to the woman's hip. The woman was all smiles though, lips gently curved, grey eyes the epitome of kindness. "Gentlemen, surely this need not happen, I am sure we can stop this silliness." The Orlesian accent was heavy, yet not as bothersome as Lynn usually found it, melodic, as if the woman was trying to sing while she talked.

"No sister, this woman dies now."

Lynn shot the woman a smile. "Don't worry sister, you get to tend to their funeral in a moment."

"Now stand aside!" The man moved to draw his sword...

Only to suddenly fall to his back as the sister pulled his shoulder back so that he tripped on the foot she had casually placed behind his leg. "Oh well, I tried." The woman shot Lynn a smile...before whirling about and placing a heavy kick in the dropped man's face, using this as a launching pad the woman was suddenly hurtling towards the guard to Lynn's far left.

Then Lynn acted, as the others stood around, confounded by the surprising attack of the sister. The man who had stood next to his superior saw her move towards him and began to draw his sword, but before he could get the long blade out of its sheath Lynn had grabbed his shoulder with her right hand as the left punched her drawn dagger into his abdomen, knocking the air out of him.

Wrenching her blade sideways she barely heard the screams of the patrons as the guts of the already dead man poured over the floor. Instead she focused on the man to the far right...and noted how the man was knocked into the wall by Marby as the mabari sunk his teeth into the man's leg. The man's cry of pain was short-lived though as Morrigan struck him with a bolt of crackling lightning, turning the stench of the room to that of cooked flesh....and drawing more screams from the assembled patrons as they crawled over one another in an attempt to escape.

Whirling about she moved to face the man the sister had hurled herself at...and found the man on his knees, clutching a wound across his throat as he gasped for breath. The sister next to him didn't even looked shaken at the sight, despite his blood having splattered all over her formerly pristine robes. _What strangeness_...

Then she noticed the leader of the warriors about to get up, only to crash back to the floor as Alistair placed a heavy boot on the man's chest. "There's no need to get up my good man."

_At least people aren't screaming anymore_...Lynn glanced at the people staring at them as she smirked and moved to straddle the man's stomach as she added to Alistair's quip: "At _all_ actually." She moved her dagger towards the man's throat...only to stop as she heard the sister gasp at her.

"No! Don't kill him!" The woman crouched down next to them, her face concerned.

"Why..." Lynn shot a meaning glance over at the soldier the sister had killed. "..._not_?"

Ignoring the look the woman shook her head. "No, he's at your mercy, and he's surrendered...haven't you?" She tapped the soldier on the shoulder with her foot.

"Yes, yes oh Maker _yes_..." The soldier nodded furiously, eyes screwed shut in fright.

"See?" The woman's smile was so wide and sparkling that Lynn felt an urge to punch her. "No need for further killing."

"He'll report to Loghain." Lynn snapped in irritation. _Who does this woman think she is_? "I cannot afford that risk."

"Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just." The woman said, speaking it as if it was some sort of quote. _Oh, chanting, right_... "He has surrendered, justice demands you leave him in peace." She met Lynns eyes, held her gaze, showing her conviction better then any words could.

Lynn actually hesitated.

Then there was a gurgle and a spurt of blood as the man's throat was cut. The sister looked down at him and winced, a look of sadness on her face. Wiping her dagger off on the suddenly limp soldier Lynn glared back at the sister, the eyes glancing back at her were hesitant, almost looking..._hurt_...as if Lynn had personally insulted her. _What a strange human_...

Shrugging she got to her feet and sheathed her dagger. "Necessity knows no justice sister." She shot the staring patrons a glance and shrugged again as she turned and addressed the rest of her group. "I have a feeling we're not welcome here...lets go."

*

*

*

"So I heard these people talking..." Lynn started as she slowed down to walk next to Alistair, the man meeting her eyes with a somewhat weary look. They were already at the outskirts to Lothering, about to get past the last fence. "About the circle tower, apparently the mages are..." She blinked as she sensed something...or rather _someone_. Turning she found a smirking Morrigan glancing back at the woman trailing them. "Oh for the love of...what do _you_ want!?"

"I never not get a chance to properly introduce myself." The woman replied, her voice still softly melodic, kind despite the end of their last encounter, a hand came up to brush her hair out of her face as she quickly caught up with them. "I'm a lay sister of the chantry...or I _was_." The woman glanced down at her bloodstained robes, but when she looked up she surprised Lynn with a smile. "I'm Leliana."

Lynn shot Alistair a look, her fellow warden simply shrugged, an amused look on his face._ Great, nice help there_..._jerk_. "Okay..._hello_ Leliana...and _goodbye_." She made a move to leave...only to find the sister moving to follow. "_What_? What do you want?"

"As I said I _was_ a lay sister of the chantry...I left because of you."

Lynn frowned. "I...that doesn't make sense...you don't even know us, hadn't met us before the inn..." _Is she a spy or something_?_ Seems like an odd way of Loghain to keep tabs on us though_..._judging by what I saw she would have been better chosen to simply try and assassinate us instead_.

"You'll be battling the darkspawn yes?" The woman queried, not the least bothered by Lynn's confusion. "I'm sure you'll need all the help you can get, I'm here...offering it."

"Well at least she's less creepy than Morrigan..." Alistair noted, earning him a glare from Lynn. "What? Grey wardens take their allies where they can find them, or did things change?"

"You're _not_ helping..." Lynn muttered, then turned back to the woman. "Listen lady, there'll be a bunch of killing in our future, and we won't kill only darkspawn, but _people_. It's no place for a sister of the chantry."

"I held my own back at the inn, did I not?" The woman queried, apparently unfazed by Lynn's attempts to dissuade her. "I'm sure you will find me more then useful."

_She's got a point_...dammit. Still, Lynn wasn't about to have free help offered without some sort of explanation. She could understand Morrigan's reason, though it was still hidden it was obvious the witch had some sort of agenda...most likely something tied in with her mother. Though that was dangerous it was at least a _motivation_, which Lynn could work with. "Yes perhaps...but that doesn't explain why you want to join us, is it some sort of nationalistic thing?" Maker please don't make it that... "Or perhaps...you want money...? Because if that's the case you really ought to ally with someone who won't keep all the money for herself to spend on what's necessary. I don't _do_ salaries."

The woman laughed, voice soft. "No, not at all...I wish to join you because of a dream of mine." 

"Ah...what?" Lynn blinked, then felt her face twitch. "That doesn't even make sense! How in...you can't base such a decision on a dream!" To her fury the woman looked back at her with an oddly serene expression on her face. "What happens when you dream of killing us in our sleep? Will you do that too!?"

"It was not a simple dream." The woman answered, voice annoyingly calm. "It was an epiphany sent by the Maker himself."

"I...that..." Lynn stared at the woman in shock and glanced over at the softly laughing Morrigan, then at Alistair who had settled for an arched eyebrow and a small smirk....neither helped. "...have you completely lost it!? You think I'm going to...why would the Maker...I mean...what is wrong with you!?"

"Do you not _wish_ help?" The woman actually smirked, _smirked_ as she said it!

"Of course! I'll take any help I can _get_!" Lynn snapped. "But this is crazy! You can't just up and leave your entire life based on a dream! You have a duty here don't you!? I swear you humans drive me crazy! Not to mention that you're supposed to become a priestess or whatever! And then there's the fact that we can't have some religious idea of what's _right_ stop us from doing what is _needed_ at an inopportune moment!"

"I will of course follow your lead if you accept me."

"Oh _that's_ for _sure_! But that's not the _point_!" Lynn pointed an accusing finger at the woman. "This is not some light excursion full of tale-worthy heroics! This will be brutal and you will very likely end with a blade in your gut! You don't even know the entire story of why we're here and why Loghain wants us dead and...and what are _you_ looking at!?" Whipping her head around she turned to glare at the man standing in the cage to her right.

_Wow, that's a big one_...Lynn felt some of her anger seep away at the steady purple eyes so calmly looking down at her. She was used to being _smaller_ then people...but this man was just ridiculously large, making her feel tiny...or rather...the steadiness in those strangely coloured eyes did it. "I'm observing." The voice was equally steady, uncaring.

"Well observe something _else_!" She crossed her arms in front of her and narrowed her eyes. _Why am I hassled by all these idiots_?_ Can't I get going instead_? _I_..._Maker I'm going to get a headache_. "Who...or rather whatever you are...I don't care! Attend to your own business and let me do mine!"

"He's a qunari." Leliana volunteered, apparently thinking _her_ input was needed. "This one in particular was condemned for slaughtering an entire family of villagers."

"I don't _care_! And if you think I'm going to forget about you wanting to...to..." Lynn blinked and forgot about what she was going to yell at the annoying sister as she turned to look back at the man in the cage. "Slaughtered? You're a fighter?"

"I am Sten of the Beresaad." The man replied, as if it was supposed to have a meaning.

"And you killed an entire family of villagers?"

"With my bare hands." The man nodded ever so slightly, apparently thinking it was enough information.

And to her surprise...so did _Lynn_. _There's something in those eyes_..._strength_."If I get you out...will you swear me an oath to aid me against the blight?" At her back she heard Alistair gasp in surprise, but considering he was surprised at the sight of a _horse_ Lynn ignored it... _Wardens take allies wherever they can find them_..._you yourself said it a few moments ago_.

There was a moment's pause in the man, not surprise, only consideration of the offer. "If you release me I will seek atonement...fighting the blight would be as good a way as any."

"To leave any man locked up like this to be killed by the darkspawn is wrong...but I wonder if the revered mother will see things that way, she will not be easily persuaded..." Leliana spoke up, her tone light, but Lynn easily heard the hook in her words, the _bait_...

_Fine_..._I don't care enough to protest anymore_. Turning Lynn managed a weak smile, enough to be of some encouragement to the earnest chantry sister. "Well then I guess _we_ have to be persuasive..."

*

*

*

"Okay, so we got the area here..." Lynn pointed at the map she'd roughly sketched out in the dirt before the assembled. Only Morrigan remained standing, arms crossed as she looked down at the proceedings. "..and these tasks..." She placed the scroll where she had jotted down the jobs they had unto the ground ground. "So...Leliana...besides jumping around...what can you do?"

The woman had now discarded her chantry robes for a some cheap leather armour Lynn had seen fit to outfit her with, the bow in her hand seemingly moulded to her, making her answer obvious: "I'm quite the archer, and also a good tracker when the mood strikes me."

_When does a sister ever_..._never mind, I'll deal with that later_. "Good, then you'll search for that child's mother..." Shaking aside the sinking feeling she got at her own words Lynn quickly turned to Sten. "Sten, I _know_ what you're good at..." It was unmistakable with the heavy mail armour and the great maul strapped to his back. "...so you're with me, Alistair and Marby on bandit hunting." The warrior met her eyes and nodded once.

_Heh, I can get used to that_...

"And what of me? Am I to do nothing?" Morrigan quizzed with a sceptical look on her face, though she didn't look thrilled at the prospect of work either...

"You can change into a bear right?" The woman nodded at that and pointedly ignored the quick look Sten shot her. "Can you change into a bear and...lead those other bears away? We can just claim we killed them, and since they're gone the chantry will believe us."

Morrigan flashed her a grin at that. "A fine plan, I agree."

"Yeah...lets just skip me protesting against cheating on our job....though I guess leading the animals away is as good as killing them." Alistair spoke up, making Lynn frown. _Did he just agree to my plan being sound_?_ Or was that a protest_? "Why are we doing this? Shouldn't we be hurrying away from the blight and go for the bigger picture?"

"Oh how wonderfully callous of you." Morrigan taunted. "Agreeing with me about these sheep now do you?"

Sighing the former templar shook his head and shot Morrigan a glare. "I'm thinking about Ferelden as a whole you annoying har..." Sighing again her looked back at Lynn. "Seriously, why?"

"What can I say?" Lynn shrugged. "Money sits well with me."

The man blinked, eyes widening. "That's... _it_?" Behind him Morrigan chuckled. "_That's_ why we do this?"

Offering him a coy smile Lynn said: "You can always view it as us just helping people if it helps..."

"I..." Alistair hesitated....then surprised Lynn with a lopsided grin. "..._will_ actually."

"We are wasting time." Sten rose to his feet, the Qunari's steady eyes brooking no argument. "We should get going."

"Quite right." Lynn agreed and got to her feet, Marby instantly at her side, she grinned down at the dog. "Come Marby...let's go play fetch."


	15. Chapter 15

Her legs felt like they had been filled with led, her head equally so.

Yet she trudged on, the excitement of getting to kill some bandits had been welcome to her weary mind, as had the elation of getting her payment. _Four sovereigns and fifty silver_..._I've barely had that much in my __life_..._and now I get it all in one __day_? _Being allowed to wear and use a sword for __legal__ work comes in handy_...

Still, it wasn't really that which kept her marching on. Rather it was the feeling that if she called a halt now the silent qunari at her back would view it as a sign of weakness...not to mention that Morrigan would _obviously_ do that. So she had resolved to stay the course until they reached the crossing between the roads going north and west...thankfully it wasn't supposed to be far from Lothering.

_Though it sure feels like it_...

Feeling grumpy she shouldered her pack and looked around herself with weary eyes. The road had recovered from the previous downpour; it had turned to solid gravel that was, thankfully, unable to kick up any dust as of yet. To her right there was just open space, a few fields of wheat, abandoned by the looks of it, a lone scarecrow...it was a quiet picture. To her left there was a distant forest where the edge of the wild still lingered, dark and brooding. If she tensed she could actually feel a slight pull in her chest, the feel of the darkspawn massing. It was a strange picture, of innocence and the evil about to descend upon it.

_Maker, being tired turns me into a sentimental fool_...she shook herself awake.

A little more focused she eyed Leliana, the chantry sister walking ahead of them, the woman somehow juggling the duty of scouting for any sign of danger ahead, smiling at the sun _and_ picking flowers from the road...Lynn could do nothing but shake her head at the sight. If she hadn't seen the woman put an arrow through the skull of a wolf at thirty paces she would almost think the woman a naïve fool.

_No, there's something going on there_... Glancing back Lynn checked on her other travelling companions. Marby was nearly bumping into her leg as the mabari kept to her right. To her left Morrigan walked, a single step behind and further to the side of the road then anyone else. Lynn smiled at the clear marking, _I'm following, but I'm not being led_.

Further back Alistair marched on, if the man was still upset with her he didn't show it. His right hand was clenched to his side and moving with his walk, the other holding unto something small which he constantly rubbed with his thumb. _A sovereign_? Resolving to 'check' what money he kept from her later she instead focused to the man's face. He was obviously losing his struggle to keep the grief away, but to his honour he still held it somewhat at bay, his face a mask of concentration as he glared at the road under his boots. _Bet it can't be easy to lose one's family like that_...Lynn tried to imagine Cyrion, Shianni and Soris dead...but couldn't. _Damn, got to have a talk with him before he breaks...later_.

Instead she turned her attention to Sten, the giant man at the rearguard of their little procession. She had seen him fight by now...and didn't regret recruiting him in the least, despite the tale Leliana had told her about him being arrested for killing an entire family...and despite his unnerving silence. _At least he seems dependable_...as she watched the man turned away from his studying of the dark wilds so he could glance over at the fields to their right...then instantly he turned his head back to look at the forest, vigilant. _Well at least we'll always get a warning if there's an ambush_...

She was more bothered by Leliana to be truthful, not only was the reason the woman gave for wanting to come with them utterly foolishness...Lynn also found herself unable to fit the skilled archer and generally sneaky warrior with the chantry past she claimed to have. Though judging by what Lynn had heard from the revered mother at Lothering it was _correct_...which made everything even more confusing.

Squaring her shoulders she decided to take the dragon by the horns and have a talk with the 'sister'.

"So...Leliana was it?" Lynn felt an odd alarm go off in her skull as she noted the innocent smile of the woman rising up from having picked up _yet another_ flower. _It's __too__ innocent, practised_. "How does a woman like yourself end up in a chantry?"

"That depends, what do you mean with a 'woman like yourself'?" The woman replied with a teasing smile.

_Ah, so we're playing that game are we_? Smiling back Lynn replied: "You know, beautiful and clever."

"You think there were no beautiful women in the chantry? Oh but you would be wrong." _Ah, ignoring the 'clever' part are you_?_ Interesting_... "There were many beautiful women in the chantry, all chaste, virtuous, charming and desirable."

_Hmm_..._lets see if __this__ will unsettle her_. "Desirable?" She cocked her head and looked a little more closely at Leliana's face._ I suppose men would go for those lips and face_..._not to mention __those__ breasts_, she dipped her gaze a little lower. "I suppose so..."

When she looked up she found the woman blushing. "I...thank you."

_Yes_! _She's off balance_! "What I don't understand is why they would teach you to shoot like that, or sneak around and track either for that matter."

"We're not born in the cloister you know." Leliana shot her a meaningful look, then blinked as she realised what she'd said. "I..." She hesitated, then shrugged. "I'm sure you realise I'm from Orlais, I was a bard back then, an entertainer. And when bards travel they have a tendency to pick things up....no?"

_No_! _You don't just 'pick up' such skills_! "Really? Fascinating...perhaps you'll sing for me later to show off some of that talent?" Lynn asked the question with a little smile, watching as the 'sister' hesitated at her tone. _Heh, too easy_... "Though it must be a fascinating tale, of your travels from Orlais I mean, why would a bard do that?"

"Why not?" Leliana shrugged and looked away. _Aha_! _I'm closing in_! "One can entertain here as well."

"Yes, but what I've heard of orlesian ba-"

"Have I mentioned that you look adorable in scale armour by the way?"

"-rds...eh...what?" Lynn blinked, surprised by the woman as Leliana looked right at her chest, nodding with a small smile on her lips. "I..." Lynn resisted the urge to cover up, it wasn't as if Leliana was actually undressing her with her eyes, she actually _did_ look as if she was admiring how the armour looked on her. "...thank you?"

"It suits you far more then that lumpy mail armour you wore before...it enhances your slimness." The woman nodded, a small wrinkle in between her eyebrows as she eyed Lynn. _Wait...she's __actually__ thinking of what armour would suit me_!? "Wonder if we could get something made in red steel, I'm sure red would compliment your complexion far better." A brief image of Daveth complimenting her flicked before Lynn's mind at that, making her grimace. "Though you really ought to remove that helmet."

"The helmet keeps my head from being lopped off." Lynn remarked, confounded. "Besides, armour is armour, I'm not looking at what 'looks best' in them. Do Orlesian ba-"

"Orlesians _do_ often care about the appearance of armour." Leliana interjected smoothly. "And I merely meant that you could remove it to show off your hair."

"My hair?" Lynn made a self-conscious move towards her head before remembering herself and dropping her hand back down. "Have you _seen_ my hair? It's a mess. Besides, even with my hair as it is my ears still show at times....people take note of me being an elf more often then...which I don't really need." _Why am I telling her these things_!?

"Oh I'd say your hair is lovely." Leliana protested. "It has a tousled charm to it." She smiled at Lynn. _Oh you clever little_... "As for the elven thing...it's part of your beauty, cute yet strong...would you rather be a blocky-looking human?"

_It happens_...shaking her head Lynn sighed. "I...no..." Then she mentally slapped herself and decided to go back on the offensive. "Cute and beautiful? Aren't you full of compliments...trying to tell me something are you?"

Looking up she found the woman looking away, blushing slightly. _Strange, for all her cunning_..._and bardic experience she no doubt has_..._she can't handle such an offensive_..._maybe she's rusty_? "It was an observation, nothing more." She kept looking away, apparently not rising to the bait.

_Hmm_..._so I guess this puts us at a tie_?_ Still_..._can't leave it up to her religion to make her follow me_. "If it yields such words I'll be sure to let you _observe_ then..." Before Leliana could find a proper reply Lynn reached up and put a light hand on the other woman's shoulder...before quickly slipping back with the hand lingering until the fingertips left the leather-clad shoulder._ Heh, that'll keep her on her toes_...

"'Tis quite a wonder to see you at times." Morrigan noted as Lynn came back. "May I ask for the purpose of that little performance?"

Lynn eyed the witch carefully, trying to find the motive for the question, she only got back a look of cool interest, amusement even. Shrugging she replied: "I don't like her following me simply because of some religious dream...or whatever it was. I need something more dependable." She shot a thumb backwards. "I trust Sten's oath, it's as solid as he seems to be, it binds him to me."

"Ah yes, quite clever of you that one." Morrigan nodded. "And what hold do you have over our resident fool?"

"Alistair is duty bound as a warden, as am I in a way I suppose...but he is obviously afraid of leading or something..." Lynn smiled, she and Alistair hadn't even had a discussion about that, her becoming the leader had just happened naturally. "...which makes him following my lead quite dependable."

"Ah, and then the sister...?"

Lynn grinned at the woman still walking ahead of them. Leliana had apparently forgotten about the sun and flowers now, instead focusing on the scouting part of her duty as she walked ahead of them, her shoulders bunched up. "Well...it's easier to follow someone if you think there's a reward at the end, isn't that right?"

Morrigan laughed. "Oh how the puppets dance to your tune! 'Tis quite clever...binding them to you like this."

"Yes..." Lynn agreed, her grin turning to a wry smile. "...except for _you_...I have no idea why you're following us...yet it has something to do with your mother, of that I'm sure."

Morrigan smiled back, unfazed. "My mother's motivation isn't even known to myself, perhaps it's merely for me to grow stronger, or perhaps to get my urge to explore the world outside the wilds out of the way. 'Tis also likely she's truthfully afraid of the blight and wishes it defeated enough to _risk_ her own daughter." She chuckled at the last sentence, apparently finding the concept of the old woman caring for her amusing.

Lynn smiled, though the idea of not even your mother caring for you was bothersome it was still good that the woman was forthright with her...though she most likely held something back. "And you yourself?"

"I too wish for myself to grow stronger." Morrigan inclined her head at the words, as if listening to them for the truthfulness in them. "If it's done fighting the blight, so be it...'tis only natural to wish to combat what wishes to destroy you is it not?"

"True, and wishing to become more powerful is equally natural." Lynn nodded, knowing she wouldn't get more out of the woman about her motivations. Morrigan was forthright, but there were some things she would _not_ tell that easily...Lynn would have to bide her time with this one...

"Good, then we understand one another." Morrigan turned to look forward as she walked, a small smirk on her lips.

Smiling Lynn copied the move. "Though you do realise _I'm_ the leader here don't you? I want no argument in this."

The witch chuckled. "You're quite the alpha of the pack aren't you?"

Lynn chuckled in return. "Among the packs of cats living in the alienage there was always one leading the others...who decided who got to eat what of what they got...so I suppose I _am_ an alpha then...." She eyed Morrigan as she pressed the point: "But what does that make _you_?"

Morrigan scoffed, a smirk on her lips. "I'm no pack hunter...what does a bird care for you cats?"

Lynn eyed Morrigan, noting how the neutrality in her golden eyes were forced. _She will follow my lead_..._good_. "Cats _eats_ birds you know..."

Ignoring the look Morrigan shot her Lynn started laughing.


	16. Chapter 16

The fire was warm and inviting, making Lynn inch so close the heat nearly turned painful.

To finally get the chance to put away her armour and weapons was a great weight off her, making her feel a little more alert as she was no longer burdened down by the equipment she already had begun to embrace as part of her. _Doesn't mean I don't enjoy simple cloth though_...smiling she pulled her blanket closer around herself, covering the long tunic she now wore.

At the other side of the fire Leliana sat, leaning heavily against a log as she looked up at the night sky, a hand idly playing the lute in her lap without any real melody, just soothing little sounds that made the silence of the night a little less intrusive. The bard now wore a simple tunic, shorter then Lynn's...though at least she wore trousers under it. _Funny how she wears them with clothes but not when wearing armour_...

Smiling Lynn felt oddly at ease. Leliana's playing eased some of the worries she had about falling asleep away...not to mention that _she_ could actually cook! Lynn had honestly been a little worried about that. Morrigan wasn't the type to cook for them, neither was Sten...and judging by what Alistair had commented on during their meal he was only slightly better then _Lynn_! Of course the chance for good meals didn't mean she would blindly trust Leliana and her odd motives...but it made her a little easier to accept at the moment.

Lynn scoffed at herself. _Maker I'm so tired I'd accept a man carrying a bloody dagger next to me if he offered something to ease my weariness_.

Looking farther away from the camp she noted the way Morrigan had set up her part of the camp far away from the others, no doubt preferring her privacy over safety in numbers. _Lone huntress indeed_..._and I can't blame her considering how much time she's spent alone_..._this__ is a crowd to her_. Shrugging she turned to look at where Sten stood, the warrior had been eating standing, just far away from the fire enough not to be illuminated...and when finished he continued to stand outside the warmth of the fire...and he was also the only one still in armour. _Is he always ready to defend himself_?

Lynn quickly lost interest in the warrior though, she had already tried to talk to him during dinner and it had shown itself futile, he was not one for talking and made it no secret that he was merely there to follow Lynn in their fight against the darkspawn and nothing more. Oddly enough she found herself accepting it...it was good enough when it came from Sten.

Instead she looked for the last in their group...the one that didn't bark at command that is, she idly scratched Marby behind the ear as the dog pushed up against her leg... Her seeking eyes found him further away then Sten, the man sitting heavily on a felled tree with one hand resting on a felling axe. Even with his back to her she could tell that he was distraught...lost in his own little world of misery and broken memories.

Sighing Lynn squared her shoulders and begun to walk over to him, shooting Sten a curt nod as she went. _Oh this will not be fun_..._but I can't very well have one of our best warriors blubbering about his lost comrades now can I_? She carefully eyed him as she approached, noting the sweat sticking to his short-sleeved white shirt under the dark green vest he wore over it with half a frown. _At least it won't hurt to look at that while I comfort him_..._how much wood has he been cutting_!?

The answer soon became obvious as she stepped closer. Behind the tree he sat on there was a sizeable pile of cleaved logs, so many they couldn't possible use even _half_ of them during the night, even _if_ they kept the fire strong. "Wow, making a bonfire are we?"

Alistair turned his head slightly to look at her as she smiled and moved to sit down next to him, a weak smirk on his lips. "What can I say? I got into the moment." _Has he been crying_?_ The darkness makes it hard to tell_...

Nodding Lynn made herself comfortable in her seat and pulled her blanket tighter around her neck. _Maker_..._without the fire the night is sort of cold_..._or maybe that's just me being tired_? "So...Duncan...want to talk about it?"

"I...am not sure you would understand." He looked away, muscled shoulders bunched up in tension. _Can't believe he's not cold with all that sweat_..._or maybe he's too depressed to notice_? "You were barely recruited to the wardens before they all died...I can't expect you to feel as I do."

"Well...no." Lynn admitted, knowing she wouldn't be able to pull of a lie about that. "But Duncan...I did know him a bit...I miss him too." _It's strange_..._I kind of __do_..._though mostly because then this mess would be his trouble_... "Still, how are _you_ doing? No suicide coming or anything?"

The man snorted, a weak smile on his lips. "I'm too cowardly to do that..." Looking down at his left hand he sighed. "He found this in my first skirmish, gave it to me as a sort of prize..." Looking down Lynn realised he was referring to an oddly large coin in his hand, or it..._is that some sort of rune_?_ It was hard to tell with the surface so worn down_... "Though he refused to call it so, said it was a reminder that 'the smallest thing could save your life'..." He glanced at Lynn's blank stare and laughed half-heartedly. "Guess you had to be there to understand..."

Lynn blinked, unsure what to say. _That_..._was frighteningly honest_... "I...no...I think I..._do_ actually." Shaking her head she pushed aside the worm of sympathy digging its way into her. _No, focus on your duty, to get the shem going_. "Your mentor died well...I can't think he had any regrets."

"He _did_...didn't he?" Alistair nodded, gaze distant. "I wish I could have been with him..." He closed his eyes and dropped his axe to the ground as he put his right hand behind his neck to rub it. "But then I would be dead too, wouldn't I? I...don't really like that idea...I'm glad that I'm alive, yet that makes me feel ashamed..." He opened his eyes and looked at her, an earnest expression on his face. "...do you understand what I mean?"

_Shianni being raped instead of me_..._it should have been me, yet I'm happy it wasn't, and that makes me ashamed_. Lynn felt her shoulders bunch up as she looked down at her feet, the things barely sticking out from her blanket. "Yes..." She shuddered. "...yes I can."

"Hey, are you okay? You got a distant look in your eyes."

Lynn nearly laughed._ I'm the one trying to comfort you idiot_! "Oh I'm fine, just feel for you...I can't imagine losing my entire family like that." _I really can't_... Surprising herself by being honest she looked the man in the eyes. "You're stronger than you appear."

The man snorted, a weak smile on his lips. "Thanks." He looked away, back at the little token in his hand, his thumb moving against its centre and the paled spot there. "Shouldn't you head for bed? I'm sure this has been the longest day of your life...that with your injuries and all that has happened."

"I...yes...I should." _I'm afraid of going to sleep due to the dreams, not to mention that I want to make sure you're of sound mind for tomorrow so you won't be a hindrance_. "But I'll stay up a bit longer, make sure you're okay." She stared at Alistair's muscled chest, it being far easier to look at then the emotional cavalcade that was his face. "So...you're okay with all this? Just us two left? You think you can handle it?"

"Yes, yes I can." The man sighed loudly. "I mean it's not like we could change it, I for one don't know how to make new ones..." Lynn knew she could make a dirty joke there, but couldn't bring herself to it. "And if I'm _okay_ with it...of course not...but what can I do about that?"

"Yes." Lynn tore her gaze from the man's chest and looked up at Alistair's face, finding his expression distant as he simply looked through her. _Probably off in some memory_... "I don't expect you to stop grieving...but I hope you'll remember that Duncan was all about duty, that you won't shame his memory."

"Of course not!" The man was instantly back in the present, a grimace on his face.

"Sorry." Lynn raised a hand in placation. "I was just worried..." The man's features quickly softened, trusting her words implicitly despite barely knowing her....for some reason that made her feel guilty. "Should we...should we have some sort of ceremony for him? Would you like that?"

The man visibly shrunk at that, as if the thought frightened him. "No...not yet..." He shot her a shy look. "Perhaps when all this is over...would you come too then?"

Lynn found herself smiling. "Yes, after we've won...good that you're staying so positive."

"Yes well...that's me...ser positive." The man made an attempt at puffing his chest out in a comical manner, but the pain still in his eyes just made the gesture sad to Lynn's eyes . "And you really ought to get to bed, you look ready to fall dead."

_Sure, like you know me_...Lynn held back the snort as she nodded and got to her feet. "I suppose you're right...but if you need to...I'm still around to talk." She placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, a little surprised by the warmth in the muscled shoulder, warmth that was there despite the sweat covering it. "Right?"

The man nodded, eyes on the little token in his hand, then looked up at her with a tired smile. "Y-yes, sure."

Giving his shoulder one final squeeze Lynn walked away, her hands pulling the blanket closer as she with narrowed eyes made for the thicker blanket she had picked for her bed. _Me looking as if I need sleep_..._sure, you just know me_...to her frustration she yawned just as she finished the thought. _And how can you be so frighteningly honest with me, you barely know me! Strange human_...

With another yawn she lay down on the bedding. _Strange_..._hu_..._man_...

*

*

*

"_**You will submit**_."

_No, please don't_....

The demon had her pinned against something soft, something that moved oddly under the pressure, as if made of several doughy pieces. The dark terror rising above her looked down at at her with contempt. "_**You will submit!**_"

_No_! _Please no_!

"_**No?**_" The creature's chuckle tore at her skull like daggers. "_**Then run.**_" It took a ground-shaking step backwards.

Surprised by her sudden freedom Lynn struggled to her feet, her legs feeling as if they were made of water. She made to cover her nakedness, feeling more exposed then ever under the baleful gaze of the creature. There was no mercy in those eyes, no kindness, only the desire to tear her apart...the fact that it hadn't already done so meant it was just playing with her...and they both knew it.

_Please_!

"_**Run!**_"

Wordlessly screaming Lynn spun around to escape...and stopped dead at the sight.

The dead were piled so high she couldn't see where it ended, from one horizon to the other...all dead, naked, covered in their own blood...and staring at her through eyeless sockets.

_No_...

She took a frightened step backwards. Then she saw him, Daveth, lying in the pile. Staring at her with craters where his eyes were supposed to be....and slowly turning his head as he followed her retreat.

_No_!

She stumbled, fell...and felt something cold close around her ankle. Looking down...she screamed.

The man was nearly blue, a cold corpse, dried blood had dripped down his cheeks like macabre tears, his eyes nothing but bloodied holes...and he was pulling her closer.

_No_! _Duncan no_!

There was no answer from the man, nothing but a baring of yellow fangs as he opened his jaw impossibly wide and pulled her even closer. His stale breath was that of the grave itself...

_No_..._Duncan_...

She screamed as the teeth sunk into her shoulder, tearing through flesh and bone alike. She screamed as his icy hands began to grow claws and sink into her stomach. She screamed as Duncan tore her abdomen open. She screamed as he sunk his fangs into her throat, the scream ending abruptly as he pulled upwards, tearing her larynx out. Then she could do nothing but sob as he rose above her, his bloodstained fangs bared in a cruel grin...and moved his bloodied claws towards her eyes...

_Duncan_!

"_**Join us.**_"

*

*

*

"Duncan!" Lynn shot up, hands flying up to fend away the claws, to stop the fading pain in her eyes. She blinked, finding the grey darkness now surrounding her more natural...and shocked that she could see the ground with..._my eyes_..._they're there_..._aren't they_? She waved a hand in front of her, staring at it with wide eyes. _Five fingers_..._pale hand_..._my__ hand_..._I can __see__ it_...

"Was not what I expected you to shout." Dropping her hand she turned to look after the source of the voice, her feverish stare having difficulty focusing. "Guess you cared more then I thought...are you okay?"

"I...I'm fine." Lynn shook her head and forced herself to focus on her fellow warden. The man was crouched down next to the dying fire, his face sombre. "Just...a bad dream."

"Yeah, I know all about _those_." Alistair smiled weakly at the surprise in her eyes. "What? Thought it was unique to you? All wardens have them...and I hear it's worse when you're recruited during a blight. You have my sympathies, really." He sighed and looked down at the ground, looking regretful.

"Yo-you knew I had one of those and you didn't wake me up?" Lynn felt the beginning of anger simmer up through her confusion, but was still too frightened to shout.

"I would have..." Alistair shot her a sympathetic look. "...but it's supposed to be bad for new wardens...and you're rested aren't you? You _really_ needed the sleep...I couldn't deprive you of that."

Lynn snorted weakly. _I __do__ feel rested_..._yet I_..._dammit he's right_. "I...yes...thank you..." _Was still horrible though_...she shuddered as she pulled her legs up until her knees touched her chin, hugging her legs. "_Really_, it's..._good_ that you were here." The thought of him not being there, leaving her alone with her dream...it was _not_ a pleasant thought. "Wait...didn't Sten have the last shift? Why are you keeping guard now? It _is_ morning soon isn't it?"

"Yes, well..." The man shrugged. "...I figured you would have one of the worst dreams after the day you had...so I changed shifts with him, figured I'd be more help then him when you woke up."

"Thank you..." Lynn looked away, feeling ashamed. _I helped you for strategic purposes and you do __this__ for me_?_ Jerk_... "Any other surprises...?"

Alistair's hesitation was like a blow to the chest. _Oh no_..._this is no way to start a day_... "Will you finish the watch with me?"

"I...yes." Lynn slowly rose, surprised at finding her legs working, her whole body feeling refreshed...despite everything. _Strange feeling_..._I should by all right be dead now, torn apart_..._yet I feel as if I've just awoken from a dreamless sleep_..._this is so confusing_... "Yes I think I'll do that." She moved to follow Alistair as he moved to the edge of the camp, her blanket still wrapped around her sweaty body. _Can't even imagine how my face looks_...

Luckily Alistair made no comment as he turned to face her, his face equally serious and sympathetic. "On the whole dream thing...you'll be able to block them out after a while...I figured I'd give you some good news first." Lynn nodded, smiling tightly. _Now __that__ I really want_..."Some of the older wardens actually claimed they could _understand_ the archdemon a bit...but I sure can't."

"Yes...neither can I." Lynn lied automatically and shuddered where she stood, despite the first rays of sun striking her back. _I can...and I've just joined_..._am I more tainted then the others_?_ Does it know me better for some reason_?_ Is_...._is my soul already damned_?_ I don't_...._want to go there when I die_...

Alistair saw nothing of her emotional storm, the chaos within her concealed behind lock and key. "Yes well...unto the _bad_ news...." He smiled weakly. "Worst thing first I guess, you got thirty years to live, give or take...after that...well most choose to fight the darkspawn in Orzammar...to end it all in a less painful way." The smile turned into a lopsided grin. "And you wondered why we didn't tell people about the joining beforehand..."

Oddly enough Lynn merely found herself shrugging. "Always figured I'd die young anyway." Alistair shot her a weird look, but she met it calmly, now a little more in control of herself. "What? It's true."

"I...am sorry...that actually sounds worse then my news." The most annoying thing was that he _looked_ sorry, honestly sorry, it _wasn't_ just something he said. For some reason that soured Lynn's mood more then the notice of her assured death. "Next, wardens almost never have children...and this is _especially_ true for women...never heard of one giving birth actually." He looked at her with the oddest of eyes, as if expecting her to break into tears.

Lynn scoffed. "Hadn't planned to have any anyway." It felt _odd_ actually, she _hadn't_ planned to have any...but to just loose the option like that...it was a little...unsettling.

Alistair blinked, then managed a hesitant smile. "Right...well then all that remains is the sensing the darkspawn and your stomach turning into this bottomless pit...I swear you can eat until you've emptied Ferelden and you still wouldn't be full."

"I already understood that." Lynn admitted with a irritated grunt, a hand coming up to rub away the sweat on her forehead as her stomach growled in agreement. "Maker...must you be so caring?"

She noticed Alistair's blank stare with a frightened feeling. _Did_..._did I just say that out loud_? "You make it sound as if it was something strange, of course I care about my fellow warden, you're...well you're all I have left of my family I suppose..." He visibly swallowed as he pushed aside his grief. "I might not be the best warden that could have been left to guide you...but I promise that I'll do my best."

_There he goes again, so freakishly honest, what kind of human is this_?Lynn suddenly found herself turn away with a sigh. "Thank you...and we should break camp now, we have a long day ahead of us."

"Wh-what? Was it something I said?"

"Just...shut up and pack your things shem."

"Wha...hey!"

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her constant and invaluable aid._


	17. Chapter 17

As they walked towards the distant shimmer that was lake Calenhad Alistair couldn't help but carefully shoot his fellow warden concerned looks.

There had been a moment, just a short one, when she had awoken where he had seen true terror in her eyes. She had been quick in hiding it when he'd spoken to her, though she had still looked a little rattled, it was still nothing compared to that first look though...and it worried him. _It's not unknown for some newly made wardens to break after all_..._and she's been under more pressure then most_.

There was nothing showing of her earlier fright though, she walked tall and proud at the front of the group, Marby at her side, as she had since they've broken camp... Alistair had to admit he was impressed, after what horrors she no doubt had experienced it was strange to see her so quickly gather her wits and continue, shrugging aside whatever anguish inflicted upon her as if it was nothing but an inconvenience.

_Wish I could do that_...grimacing Alistair imagined Duncan patting him on the back with an encouraging comment about how he had handled Lynn's awakening in the morning...it didn't help Alistair's grief in the least. _Damn, duty Alistair, duty...don't shame his memory_. Though her words about that had hurt they _did_ make Alistar a little more focused, mindful about what he was supposed to do.

_Tough love_..._I love hating it_. Smirking he looked at how Morrigan kept up with the other warden, the two chuckling at something. _Probably at the idea of killing some kittens_..._or puppies, yes_..._puppies_. No, the 'love' part wasn't what Lynn was about, it was more 'tough' that she had used on him...he realised that by now.

Behind him Sten marched, the silent giant once again being their rearguard with ever watchful eyes. Though his face was as carved and steady as always Alistair could swear there was a slight tension in the man's walk, though why was impossible to tell. He had tried to initiate some conversations with the giant...but had been just as successful as their intrepid leader.

_When did she become our leader anyway_?_ Not that I want to be it_..._I __really__ don't want to be the leader...but she never even asked_._ Maybe she just sensed it? Or did_..._didn't she just __take__ the reins_?_ Well that's a little rude_..._though at the same time I guess I like that I don't have to give any reason for taking the second seat_..._despite_ _the witch's efforts_. He shot Morrigan's back a glare. _All in all I guess I'm happy with the situation such as it is, what if Jory had been the one surviving instead and being with me now_? He grimaced at the thought, Lynn might be a little _rough_...but she at least had a sharp mind and enough guts for _two_ Jory's.

"Pensive are we?" Turning his head he found Leliana carefully smiling at him, or as he had dubbed her; the 'least crazy of the ladies'...he had yet to decide who took first place, Lynn or Morrigan. "You're thinking about your lost friends, no?"

"Every waking hour." Alistair admitted with a nod, then shot her an awkward smile. "And unwaking of course."

"In such horrors there is difficulty seeing the light." The woman said, her heavily accented voice solemn as she looked down at the hands clasped in front of her. "But they are with the Maker now, no? That's always a comfort."

"I...suppose..." Alistair replied, though he could claim to be worried about her behaviour on not being overly religious he still had the feeling that he would find the woman and her 'epiphany' a little disturbing if he so was a grand cleric. Still, so far she hadn't proven herself to be anything but amicable and kind, so he'd decided to give her the benefit of a doubt. "Though I have a hard time to see the light in that event, there's nothing good about it...we're just trying to fix things now."

"You two are still alive, no?" The woman tilted her head to the side and offered an adorable smile. _Huh, almost as cute as Lynn's_..._and actually __honest_...Alistair found himself smiling back. "You could easily have fallen where the others died, but you didn't, you don't think there's a sign there?"

"I think it's a sign that we have our work cut out for us." Alistair replied, unsure if he was supposed to be happy over the supporting woman, or annoyed that she brought up something he didn't want to talk about. "Not to sound pessimistic, but two wardens against an archdemon and his cronies? Not such good odds..."

"I don't believe that." Leliana held his gaze. "I believe you were spared for a purpose, it will be painful sure, but rest assured that you have the Maker on your side." 

"I...suppose that's good to know." Alistair replied diplomatically, though oddly enough he _did_ feel a little better hearing that. _Huh, maybe the revered mother was wrong_?_ Maybe I'm not completely hopeless_... It wasn't hard to smile at the woman. "Thank you. I know Lynn might still be a bit wary...but for what it's worth I don't regret bringing you with us."

"Why thank you!" Leliana looked delighted as she clapped her hands together."I guess this is another sign from the Maker, but for you." She looked away over at Lynn and Morrigan at the front, smiling a little.

"For me? What?" Alistair blinked in confusion. The idea of the Maker sending _him_ a message...well it was _strange_...but didn't sit badly with him either.

"Yes." Leliana made a gesture at the sky above them, the white clouds there small as they plied the blue sky. "That life goes on, that you will find new people to _care_ for." She looked over at him with a sparkling smile. "Don't you think?"

Alistair nearly blushed at the words, but instead he managed to simply clear his throat and check that his sword was still strapped to his side, feeling a little awkward. "I...suppose...yes." He shrugged, feeling oddly light where he walked. "Well...thank you...it's a comforting thought actually."

"I'm happy that you feel that way." Leliana nodded. "I'm grateful for this path we're on and that...what is our friend doing?" She pointed over Alistair's shoulder, making him turn and find _Sten_ of all people veering of course...the man's steps long as he moved to the right of the road and up a gentle hill.

"Err...Lynn! You might want to see this!" Alistair called, his gaze following the qunari stalking up the hill...and towards a single man standing atop it. The man did not see the approaching giant as he held up something that looked like torn cloth against the sun...and _certainly_ didn't see the qunari reach back for the giant maul strapped to his back!

"Crap! With me!" Lynn was suddenly flying through the tall grass as she rushed after Sten, her speed surprising Alistair despite him having seen her in combat. "Marby! Block!" With a short bark the mabari shot past her, Sten...and then skidded to a stop in front of the startled man and turned on his heel, facing the charging qunari.

Alistair was barely aware of himself starting to run, Leliana following as a lithe shadow. As such he could hear the qunari growl as he approached Marby and the now frozen man. "This is not your fight noble warrior, stand aside."

_Is he talking to the dog too_!?_ Oh for the love of_... Alistair chose to focus on the strange man instead. He was dressed in pale green rags, his tunic frayed at the edge with wear...obviously not a well-off man. The tousled grey hair and beard, along with the many lines in his face, showed him to be a man worn down by hardship, near desperation.

_Not to mention he's standing around corpses_.

Blinking Alistair looked again, and realised with shock that the man was indeed standing among a group of corpses. Judging by the smell...and tears in their exposed flesh by animals...they had been lying there for some time too, whatever belongings they had had stripped off them. _And is it just me or are they ridiculously large_? He glanced at Sten, the warrior still holding his maul at the ready as he looked over at the terrified man. _Oh crap_...

"Sten, hold." Lynn's voice was a low growl, the elf putting a hand on the qunari's huge arm. The arm wasn't lowered by the order, though neither did the massive warrior attack. Instead he just looked at the man, gaze as steady as ever, as if the great warrior wasn't seething with rage at all. "You, who are you?" The woman looked over at the man who by now had begun to shake like a leaf.

"I-I'm j-just lo-looking f-for th-things..." The man jumped at the growl escaping Sten, so low it might as well have belonged to a darkspawn. "I ha-haven't done anything wrong! I bought this plot! I get to take what I want!" The growl got darker, making the eyes of the man nearly pop out of his skull. "I'm not doing anything wrong!"

"Alistair." Shaking aside his fascination with the exchange Alistair focused on Lynn, the woman's face unreadable as she nodded towards the old man. "Detain him if you please, I need to have a word with Sten here."

"I..." Alistair eyed the large qunari, how his large hands tightly wound around the grip to his maul. "...yes...that's probably for the best." Feeling a little crude he stepped past Marby and over to the still shaking man and gripped him by the arm. "Excuse me, but it seems prudent of me to hold onto you...for your own safety."

"I...I haven't done anything wrong!" The man squeaked, horrified.

Watching Lynn lead Sten away, the qunari looking back at the man with his maul drawn the entire way, Alistair couldn't do anything but shrug. "I can safely say that someone's disagreeing with that...so you just better stay with me, for your own safety."

"B-but I..." The old man sighed. "...life's so unfair."

"Tell me about it." Alistair muttered, not really interested in hearing some sob story as he looked over to where his fellow warden was talking with Sten. To her credit she had somehow gotten the giant to put his maul unto his back...though it was impossible to judge if she was actually calming him down since the man's face was the usual mask of steadiness. _At least she's getting him to talk_..._that's something_.

"Ugh, this is why I hate leaving the wilds, dead things just aren't eaten properly out here." Morrigan grimaced and nudged one of the stiff corpses, making a large beetle skitter away from beneath it.

"Squeamish are we?" Alistair teased, happy to ignore the situation in favour of scoring some points against the witch.

Morrigan snorted and crossed her arms in front of her. "Hardly, I just think it's bad form of these things to remain here still, apparently taming the world turns it into a weakling."

"Oh I wouldn't know about that." Alistair chuckled. "Maybe it has such an abundance it's left you a gift!"

"If you're referring to that mutt..." Morrigan snorted in Marby's direction. "...leaving that half-eaten rodent in my pack I can tell you right now I'm not amused." She narrowed her golden eyes at him. "Nor sure _why_ he did that...did you play a part in that?"

"_Meee_?" Alistair made an innocent face. "_Nooo_, no I'm not clever enough for any such feat..." _Nope, no bloody piece of meat next to your pack_...

"Clever is not the word I would use, childish perhaps." Morrigan snorted. "Which you _are_."

"Oh you wound me, _really_." Alistair scoffed. "Admit it, you loved that dog and his affection."

"I'm surprised he's a dog and not a cat!" Morrigan snapped, making Alistair chuckle even as he nodded. _Heh, yeah I've wondered about that too_... "'Tis lucky your fellow warden at least has some sense, without her with us I'm sure I'd go mad."

"Don't worry, you already have."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Morrigan closed her eyes and shook her head, her face twitching in irritation. _Heh, this is funny_...

"Are you people crazy?" The old man muttered, fearful eyes darting between Alistair and Morrigan.

Morrigan moved to answer, but Alistair was quicker. "Crazy is such a strong word, we're..._different_."

Morrigan smirked at him. "Oh such a clever explanation, thought that up all on your own?"

"Morrigan _please_!" Alistair exclaimed with feigned shock and put his free arm over the old man's chest protectively. "This good man and I are having a conversation!"

The witch visibly twitched, her eyes turning into mere slits. _Hehe_..._oh this will be a good one_. "You could not carry a conversation if your life depended on it you oversized failure of a-"

"Right." Lynn cut in, the woman walking up to the others with a silent Sten in tow, whatever was occurring in the qunari's skull Alistair couldn't tell, the eyes steady as they looked over at the man, making the arm in Alistair's grip tremble. "You obviously have no sword here, where's all that you've found?"

"I...I haven't found much to be honest." The man admitted with a weak smile, making Sten growl, only to quiet down as Lynn placed a hand on his forearm. _Maker_..._is she taming that thing or something_!? "I bought this site from a man called Faryn, he hadn't mentioned that he'd taken everything but the bones from the place."

Lynn grip on Sten's arm tightened a little, stopping whatever move he was about to pull before it even begun. "And this Faryn is...where exactly? I'd..." She glanced over at Sten with a meaning look on her face. "..._advice_ you to answer."

"He mentioned he was going to Orzammar, he often sells things over there." The man glanced up at Sten. "That's all I know...now...could I...leave?" He licked his lips and tugged at Alistair's grip. "_Please_?"

"Sten..." Lynn grinned, her smile vicious as she met the man's gaze. "...leave him alone." The man visibly shook as he breathed out in relief. "And _you_, you better find yourself another profession, one not leading to bloody vengeance by those not yet dead preferably."

"Yes! Maker yes!" The man tore himself free, which wasn't difficult since Alistair had already let go, and begun to stumble down the hill, throwing fearful glances back at them as he went.

"You enjoyed that too much." Alistair noted, smiling a little despite himself.

Lynn shot him a grin, then turned to look at Sten, meeting the steady gaze with one of her own. "We'll find it if we can, I can offer nothing else."

"I expect nothing else."

"Good..." The woman looked away, gaze moving towards the distant lake that they could make out from their hill, darting eyes noting the lone house outside the lake, the small boat drawn up on the beach...before finally settling on the tall tower rising from the island in the middle of the lake. "...Sten...I don't think Marby likes the water." The dog cocked his head to the side at the words, a dutiful whine escaping it. "Could you take him to that inn over there and listen in on what gossip there is?"

"Gossip?" The qunari echoed, his tone unchanged, though there was obviously a small protest in it.

"It will prove useful Sten, trust me." She glared up at the giant. "Now do it, that's an order."

"As you wish..." The warrior turned away, stance stiff. "...warden."

"Did..." Alistair looked after the giant warrior as he lead Marby down the hill. "...did you just put him in his place? _And_ made him respect you at the same time?"

"What can I say?" Lynn shrugged and shot him a smile. "I got a knack." She glanced back after the retreating qunari. "And I think he knows he needs some time alone." _Huh, that's surprisingly_..._kind of you_....Alistair smiled "Can't have him upset when dealing with these templars anyway." _Ah_...the smile faded.

"Does Marby really fear the water?" Leliana asked, the woman looking a little puzzled at the idea of such a huge war-beast being afraid of getting wet. _Yes, that __does__ sound odd_...

Lynn's grin was all the answer they needed: "What do _you_ think?"

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continued aid._


	18. Chapter 18

Lynn had to admit, the tower ahead of them _was_ impressive. She wasn't sure it was as large as the one at Ostagar, but this one wasn't partly ruined, it was people's homes...the home of mages. _Mages_..._oh if I wasn't worried about these rumours of the mages being in trouble I would be excited_! Of course Morrigan's displays of magic had somewhat made her less stirred about it, one couldn't stay excited about something one encountered every day after all. But still...mages!

Pointing up like an accusing finger Lynn had to agree with Morrigan...the tower had a somewhat phallic look to it. _What's with Ferelden and towers anyway_? _It was founded by men with performance issues_? She nearly giggled at the thought and shot Morrigan a look, the witch glowering at the tower.

"Morrigan, behave yourself now." Lynn didn't think it would be needed. Morrigan wasn't so foolish as to think entering the circle tower with a bunch of templars when she was an apostate wasn't a risk that meant she would have to be careful. Still, it was worth pointing out.

"Of course." The witch snorted and shot the templar rowing them across the water a look...making it gently rock as the man made an extra effort in looking away from her while rowing them across.

To Lynn's amusement the man was still pale while staring at his feet as he rowed, at times he looked at his hands, or back towards the approaching island, anything but at _Morrigan_. The witch's..._glee_ at getting some time alone with the man had been everything needed to make the templar disobey his orders and row them across.

Shaking aside her amusement Lynn forced herself to focus on more important things. If the gossip had been right she could be entering a deadly trap of monsters and abominations....whatever those were._ Of course it could be worse_..._but judging by what I heard back at the docks __something__ is happening_..._and not planning for the worst would just be foolish_.

Only problem was...she wasn't sure _what_ to plan for. Especially if the templars had locked things down as it seemed...how did one handle that? How did things work? Turning around she turned to face Alistair, the man sitting at the stern of the boat together with Leliana. The former sister looked in awe of the approaching tower...while Alistair looked slightly sick as he looked over at the approaching structure.

"Alistair, take a knee please." 

The man flinched, drawn out of his reverie. "Excuse me?"

"A knee." Lynn repeated and knelt down in the boat and gestured for him to do the same. The man followed suit, head lowered as he tried to read Lynn's expression. Keeping it carefully blank however she whispered: "Give me an overview please, about how it works with the mages and templars, politically and such."

"You don't know?" The man blinked, looking decidedly stupid to Lynn's eyes.

"I know some!" Lynn hissed back in irritation. "But I want to be sure I got everything covered, so humour me and tell me what you know."

"Well...okay." Alistair hesitated and shot the templar rowing them across a look, then, when satisfied the man wasn't listening in he whispered back: "Well the chant speaks of the mages making the Maker leave right?" Lynn nodded impatiently, even she knew the chant, perhaps somewhat badly...but still. "So magic is inherently dangerous, its powers unholy and evil." The man grimaced at his words. "Therefore it follows that all mages are inherently corrupted with this unholy evil, and are a constant risk towards not only to the Maker but to his subjects."

Lynn got the distinct impression the man was quoting from memory, something drummed into him long ago...and not something he liked thinking about. Still, his comfort wasn't her concern. "Go on."

"So mages are a risk towards themselves and others, they are constantly at the risk of betraying the words of the Maker and go out to wreak unholy havoc, becoming either malificar or apostates, depending on their use of forbidden magic." To his credit the man only shot a Morrigan a quick look. _Must drive his templar self nuts having her about_... "Therefore anyone, child or adult, exhibiting signs of magic potential are taken to the tower to study, to control their dangerous art so that they won't fall to the temptation of the demons in the fade."

"I...suppose that makes sense." To be honest Lynn felt a little confused, she'd heard of demons of course, and that odd thing of ash she had fought back in the kocari wilds had been one according to Alistair... But she only had a basic understanding of how the fade worked and that there were demons there...they were supposed to possess the bodies of the foolish...but she had only shrugged it aside as something to scare children into line. After all, the stories had been told to _her_ quite a lot more then to the other children. "Wait...they don't have a choice?"

"The needs of the many..." Alistair shrugged with an awkward smile. _Ah, duty to others_..._yes that's okay_..._sometimes the duty chooses us and not the other way around after all_. "The Templars are the Chantry's strong arm as you know, we-they..." _Ah yes, I knew that was on your mind_. "...are the ones collecting the children and such that show potential for magic. They are then brought to the tower and kept here for studies for the rest of their lives. A templars foremost duty is to be ever watchful of these mages and pay attention to any sign of corruption...and end them before it's too late." The man grimaced at his words.

_A prison_..._like that of my kind_..."But I saw mages at Ostagar."

The name made Alistair flinch, but he managed to keep meeting her gaze as he nodded and said: "Yes, but were there not Templars there? No mage may leave the tower without a templar escort."

"So...Templars are...guards?" Lynn looked away in sudden distaste. _Guards to watch those different from themselves, guards to cage them, to step in whenever anyone goes out of line_..._it's too much like the alienage_. _Filthy humans_...

"Guards specifically trained to combat mages...but yes...amongst other things." Alistair grimaced and rubbed the back of his head, gaze darting up towards the tower. "Now...the circle tower is _technically_ under circle jurisdiction...so the first enchanter is the leader there. But with the chantry's templars there it is well known that the templar's knight-commander has a near equal saying in things."

"So if things are as bad as they seem he's the one to talk to?"

"That would be my guess." Alistair nodded and then shot the templar rowing them across a look. "If things are _really_ bad they might invoke the right of annulment..." He noted Lynn's blank look with a neutral face. "...it's the right to neutralize the entire tower."

"You mean kill the mages." Lynn concluded, voice bitter. _Good little guards there, your charge __is to protect __good honest people __from the __different__, __not__ to protect the different_..._even when they're the ones threatened_. "Sounds a bit harsh."

"It might be the only way." Alistair protested, albeit reluctantly. _Huh_?_ You speaking __for__ the killing of humans_?_ This __must__ be serious_... "If there's truly a corruption of abominations and demons stalking the halls...well then it's best to cut our losses, instead of risking the corruption to spread. We don't need abominations running rampant all over Ferelden with the ongoing blight after all."

"True." Lynn actually found herself smiling. "You're not as dumb as you try to appear." The man shot her a strange look, as if she'd just invaded his personal space. "But no..." She shook her head and glanced over at Morrigan, the witch still busy glaring at the approaching tower. "...have you _seen_ the power of magic!? We _need_ that power against the blight, I'll take the risk with some mage-demon cross-breed over that any day."

Alistair snorted at the mental image she no doubt conjured up for him before shrugging. "Well, you have to convince the knight-commander of that then..."

"_Please_, you think I'm afraid of some overgrown bully in a tin suit?"

Alistair chuckled even as the boat bumped into the dock, their templar _friend_ quickly jumping up onto the creaking wood to tie the boat to the dock. Alistair followed suit, then, much to Lynn's surprise and annoyance, he turned around to offer his hand. "No, I don't believe you would." He was all smiles, apparently uncaring over her scowl as he kept offering his hand.

_Is he trying to get into my pants_? _I thought I've already sufficiently scared him off_? Shrugging Lynn took the offered hand and used it to pull herself onto the dock...then found Alistair ignore her and the grumbling Morrigan climbing up as he reached down to help Leliana up. "Oh! What a gentleman!" The former sister exclaimed with delight as she was pulled up, making Lynn frown. _It can't be that simple_..._what is he up to_?

There was no revelation in the slightly pink face of Alistair as he turned back to her though, only embarrassed innocence. "Right, sure...now...should we go?"

"Yes..." She shot him a curious look. "...sure."

*

*

*

To be honest she wasn't sure what had motivated her to volunteer her little band of misfits to clear out the tower and get the senior enchanter. Was it her duty to the wardens? Her simple need for mages? Was it her annoyance with the fact that these oh so great warriors hid away in the last room of the tower as children and unarmed mages were hunted by creatures bent on tearing them asunder?

Or was it the simple fact that she had seen the way the Templars had looked as they watched the door, how they acted, and remembered the guards back at the alienage and how they were there to guard the elves, not protect them?

_I hope I made the right call_..._that I did it for the right reason instead of some emotional foolishness_.

Lynn held her head high though, refusing to show any signs of hesitation to her companions at her back. _I know what I'm doing_...gritting her teeth she stalked through the halls, her steps unnaturally loud in her ears.

There were dead people in the halls.

Some of them were templars, but most were mages, men, women, elves and humans...even the odd child. Now Lynn had seen dead children...though even _she_ felt her heart wrench up at the sight of them...but that wasn't the most disgusting part of it all. The worst was the _way_ they looked, some were simply bleeding from deep wounds...but many had gouges in them that still sizzled from something large and burning...as if they had been killed with a hot iron...others just looked as if they'd been burnt alive.

_Morrigan's got cold spells_..._right_?

Ignoring the fear tugging at her she continued the advance, one ear and eye to her companions as the other focused on finding any demons or..._Maker please_...some living mages.

Leliana had, not surprisingly, taken to muttering a quiet chant, her bow at the ready as she ghosted along the left wall of the hall, alert eyes scouring the corners for any threat. Morrigan was sauntering past the corpses, arched eyebrow taking in the damage dealt to them with dry amusement. _Not surprising_..._her snorts when she speaks of Ferelden's mages has already told me all I need to know_...

Alistair however...he looked kind of sick. The man was pale, his shoulders bunched up, his gauntlets creaking as he constantly closed and opened his hands, no doubt wishing to draw his weapons already. Licking his lips the man looked up at the ceiling, his eyes narrowing at..._something_...a moment later Lynn heard a muffled cry as someone far away died. She shot him a more curious glance, still unsure what being a templar really meant. "Hey Alistair, you okay?"

"Yes." The man grimaced and shot the smirking Morrigan a look as he visibly forced himself to stop fidgeting. "Yes I'm fine." He glanced up at the ceiling. "It's just...there's a lot of mages...and _other_ things here...powerful things."

_Great_... "Well they're only powerful so long as they're alive, so let's change that." Lynn squared her shoulders and headed on, forcing the doubt about to well up once more to go back in the pit of her stomach where it belonged._ I know what I'm doing_...

They were reaching the end of the hall...and Lynn found herself drawing her sword and dagger as she noticed smoke still rising from the broken pieces of the door that lay crumpled in the doorway.

"Wynne! Behind us!"

Cursing Alistair's heavy footsteps Lynn leapt forward...and found herself staring at a man and a woman in mages robes crouching down as they held their hands protectively over four children, all of them staring at her with wide tear-streaked eyes._ A girl and three boys_..._they're so young_. Lynn held up her hand, commanding the ones following her to stop in their tracks as she took in the sight of the blood and soot still staining the clothes of the children, a testament to how close they've been to death. _So young_...

A red-robed shape stepped in front of Lynn's vision. "You! Come no further!" The voice was old, tired...and resolute. Looking up she found herself meeting the gaze of...an oddly familiar face. "Grey warden or no I will strike you down where you stand!"

Morrigan scoffed and made a move to raise her staff, but Lynn quickly stopped it by pushing it down with the flat of her blade, her gaze focused on the old woman before her. "I...know you...don't I?" 

"We met at Ostagar yes." The old woman replied, her voice not losing its steel, staff still raised in readiness to cast a spell, despite the arm holding it trembling. "And I tell you now, if Greagoir has sent you wardens to annul this tower you'll have to go through me!"

"The right of annulment has not yet been invoked." Lynn replied, watching as the woman's shoulders visibly dropped, as did the others. "And I'm here to make sure it's not needed." The woman blinked and looked at her hesitantly, begging an explanation. "The wardens need their allies, and they're no good to us dead."

"The wardens eh?" The old woman smirked. "The entire order nearly destroyed at Ostagar and still you fight hmm? Very interesting, not to mention admirable." She lowered her staff and placed it against the floor so she could lean on it with both hands. "But I suppose you got the message that the circle was in no condition to aid you?"

Lynn scoffed. "As if the screams of dy-" She noticed the children pulling back at her words. "...no...I did...but we can still fix this." Shaking her head she forced herself to focus on the old woman...Wynne? Yes...Wynne... "Greagoir will not open the door behind us unless he hears word from the first enchanter himself, so I figured..."

"That you'll get him, yes, I see now." Wynned nodded. "The path is set straight then, Irving must be saved if we're to escape this place alive."

"We?" Lynn echoed. _Oh for the love of_..._why is everyone so eager to help out!? Where were all these people back when disease ran through the streets of the alienage? When overzealous guards ran my mother through_? _It's just so_..._I don't know if I should be happy for the help or furious they're suddenly so willing to give it just because of a title_!

"Yes, we, you didn't think you'd be going alone did you?" The old woman retorted with a small smile. "This is my home, I would be ashamed not to defend it when called upon, and if that will save my friends..." She glanced down at the children huddling around the legs of the two younger mages. "...then I will gladly challenge all that stands between us and Irving."

_Duty, I can buy that_. Lynn nodded, smiling thinly. "Good enough in my book, and I'm sure a mage will be helpful ahead." She shot Morrigan a pleading look and was pleased to see the woman shrug in disinterest. _We can deal with Wynne finding out when we're stuck fighting demons and there's no time to fight each other_...

"But Wynne, you were so badly hurt before..." The younger female mage protested. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"No, stay with the children." Wynn replied, offering the younger woman a smile, she then bent down to one knee to look at the children. "Now I want you to be brave...and listen to your teachers for once!" Her smiled widened a little at the shy looks the children got at that. Rising to her feet she turned to face Lynn, her stance a little more at ease. "Now, should we go? Though I'm not eager to do this I'm sure speed is of the essence."

"Yes...one moment..." Turning Lynn looked over at Leliana, the woman wearing a decidedly uncomfortable look as she eyed the surroundings, a whispered chant still escaping. her lips. "Leliana?" The woman flinched and looked back at her. "Could you...could you stay with the children?" The former sister arched an eyebrow at the strange request and Lynn felt her ears burn under her hair as she felt Morrigan's and Alistair's eyes bore into her. "Tell them stories or something...bards are good at that right?"

"Of course, wouldn't be much of a bard if I couldn't do that." Leliana smiled widely as she understood. "It would be my pleasure."

"Good..." Lynn half-turned, then noticed Alistair and Morrigan still looking at her, one with a confused look, the other with an irritated frown. "..._what_?" Only Alistair looked away at the question, while Morrigan's frown merely deepened. Shrugging Lynn ignored her burning ears and turned back to the smirking Wynne. "Lets get going..."

_Thanks to abydos jackson for all her help_


	19. Chapter 19

Alistair felt an odd sense of déjà vu as they approached another set of stairs leading to the...second...or was it third level of the tower?

Sure, they were fighting demons and abominations now instead darkspawn, the place was less dark then at Ostagar...and oddly enough there was less of the gut wrenching terror that had accompanied the previous conflict... Alistair had to admit that he'd been toughened by the experience at Ostagar, which was the _only_ good thing he'd gotten from that experience.

Some things hadn't changed though. Lynn was still pushing them on, using a mix of curses, insults and leading by example as a way to drive them on. Though neither Morrigan nor Wynne seemed to enjoy that part...much to Alistair's amusement. "By all the nug-jerking...move it! It's just a couple of stairs!" The woman hissed the words at them, making Alistair chuckle as Wynne's shoulders visibly dropped and Morrigan muttered something under her breath.

_At least this time there's no poor bastards to drag into death with us_...Alistair dryly noted. Sure, they had bumped into the odd mage hiding or barricading themselves in...but Lynn hadn't bothered to drag them with the group. Though Alistair liked to think it was because she didn't want a repeat of the incident at the tower of Ishal he knew better...they had all been too terrified to be of much use, which was the only thing concerning Lynn.

_Heartless but correct_..._damn her_. Alistair wasn't actually sure what to think of her, nor this decision of hers.

To save the mages was...noble...though perhaps a bit risky. _Is that me or the templar in me thinking_? Grimacing Alistair shook the thought aside. Of course Lynn's reason for saving the mages wasn't the least noble...but very smart in a way. Even if an abomination escaped the havoc it would be nothing compared to the power the surviving mages could unleash upon the blight. Still, it didn't sit at all well with him. _Again, is this you or your templar self questioning her_? Not that any of that would matter if they got themselves killed along the way...which was a _very_ real possibility..not that Lynn seemed to have considered that.

_Nope, she's invincible_. He smirked and looked on as the splintmail covered woman strode past a badly burnt corpse as if it was beyond her notice. _It'll be sad when she realises otherwise_...pushing aside the dark thought Alistair wondered what he would have done had he'd been in her shoes. Would he had gone with his templar instincts...or his heart? Either seemed foolish..._you wouldn't have been able to make a decision, you would have let Greagoir decide_. His mood dropped at the realisation. _I'm not as strong as her_...

Ahead of him Lynn was already beginning to climb the stairs, gesturing for the others to remain silent when they moved. There was no hesitation in her, no fear, no doubt...it irked him somewhat, made him all the more aware of his faults._ Always the bastard, always the one in the shadows of someone greater_...Grimacing Alistair realised he was spiralling into one of his fits of self criticism that never got him anywhere. _And this time there's no Eamon to pull me out of it_..._Maker I miss him. Despite all that it would mean_..._maybe I should vote for going to Redcliffe after this_? _Lynn wouldn't care too much_..._would she_? He grimaced again, who knew with that crazy woman?

Following Alistair made a real effort to keep the sound of his footsteps down, yet Lynn still shot him an irritated look as they climbed the stairs, making him shrug with an awkward smile. Shaking her head the woman looked away, frowning in annoyance.

_Hey, I'm wearing heavy mail here_..._and I'm quite a heavy guy too! You others are two mages in clothes, one barely even __that_..._and you who's still light as a feather despite the splintmail armour of __yours_! _It's not a fair comparison_! Grumbling Alistair silently drew his sword, checking its familiar weight, as he heard voices ahead. _Not demons or abominations then_..._so_..._rebels or innocents? Can't they wear some sort of identification-tag saying 'hey I'm the enemy' or something_!?

"I don't like this, it's too chaotic!" A man protested, the stress in his voice obvious.

"Of course it's chaotic! It's a rebellion!" A female voice cut in. "You realised this would happen!"

"I didn't know abominations would start stalking the halls." Another female voice replied. "They're killing everyone! Templar and mages alike! Us too! Why isn't Uldred coming down to help us?"

"That's just it!" The male spoke up. "He's _not_! We're left on our own...they'll kill us for sure!"

"Oh shut up you big baby, we have blood magic, no puny demon can stop us." Alistair shivered in his armour. He'd already heard from that Owain fellow of blood magic being used...not to mention having a feeling the mages that had so far been hostile had fought a little differently from the normal ones...judging by what little time he'd been tested against mages during his templar training. Still, it was not a thing you wanted your enemy to say.

"Tell that to Matt." The second female voice muttered, a shudder in her tone.

Following the silent Lynn Alistair kept low as the others fanned out at the top of the stairs. The room they were in was large...but largely empty as far as Alistair could judge, a few broken bookshelves in the corners, a single burnt corpse pushed up against a large pillar...nothing large. The only real point of interest was straight ahead of them were he was confronted by one of those decorative walls that had holes punched into it so as to make some sort of leafy motif. Normally he'd find it nice, now all he could do was appreciate the fact that he could see through it.

On the other side there was three mages standing around a couple of broken bookshelves, one of the females kicking a burnt one aside with a snort. "He was always a little slow..."

"How could you say that!?" The other woman snapped, face so pale she might as well have been a ghost. "We're not here to get people killed! We're here to...did you hear something?"

Biting back a curse Alistair realised that he'd once again been the one giving them away...his heavy gear just not stealthy enough...and he decided to charge. Rushing past Lynn as his fellow warden loudly cursed Alistair skidded past the corner of the wall like a charging bronto and hurled himself towards the mages as all three freed their staves from their backs.

The man closest to him quickly cast some spell, creating a bizare sensation in Alistair...a tingling feeling in his arm, making it sluggish. "Oh no you don't!" Alistair reached inwards, into his mind....to the spot of pure emptiness he'd been trained to grow._ Emptiness_..._there's nothing, peace_...

With a rush of numbness through his nerves Alistair felt the effect of the spell wear off. The wave of neutrality released from him rolled out over the mages ahead of him, making them hesitate as the nausea he knew it caused mages struck them. Only _then_ did Morrigan's spell came forth, nearly hitting Alistair as she shot out a cone of icy breath through the holes in the decorative wall...encapsulating the three clustered mages in white frost.

Alistair's shield shot out against the closest mage, the man's broad forehead splitting as Alistair's shield struck it with its edge, then the entire skull cracked apart as a second blow of Alistair's shield struck home, spilling brain-matter all over the still frozen body.

Then Lynn shot past him, her weapons pulled back for a killing blow against the nearest female mage...only to leap aside with a growl as the woman thawed in time to shoot a bolt of eldritch lighting towards the nimble woman. The other mage was thawing as well...her hands moving a strange pattern as she readied a spell...only to fly back with a grunt as a fist of stone flew past Alistair's head and struck the woman square in the chest.

Ignoring the now thawed man crumpling to the floor Alistair moved against the woman who'd attacked his fellow warden...only to drop to one knee and raise his shield as the woman's clasped hands suddenly spewed fire towards him. _Ouch_...! Gritting his teeth Alistair endured, furiously trying to think about something else but how warm the armour he wore had suddenly turned, how it nearly burnt through the cloth underneath. _Like blooding the blood mage_...he wasn't sure if it was himself getting angry or his templar training kicking it, but at the moment Alistair wanted nothing more but to wreak havoc on the filthy woman attacking him.

He moved the moment the fire died down, dropping his shield he realised that the woman had been struck by one of Morrigan's minor cold spells and had to take a step backwards as her free hand moved up to brush away the frost covering her eyes.

Before she could recover Alistair lunged though, his weapon a mere blur in front of him. A wrenching sound and Alistair's sword cut through cloth and flesh alike...opening a horizontal wound across the woman's stomach and staining her blue robes crimson with her blood.

She blinked, eyes distant, forehead creased in confusion....then fell...

...revealing the other mage back on her feet...and about to cast something decidedly nasty looking at Alistair!

Then Lynn was there, the woman nearly as fast as an arrow as she flew into the woman, armoured foot first, striking the mage in the head and sending her flying into the bookshelf with a crash of breaking wood and flying books before she limply fell forward and cracked her nose on the floor.

"Wow...thanks." Alistair muttered, torn between gratefulness of the timely save from a no doubt nasty injury and confusion over that Lynn hadn't simply stabbed the woman...it wasn't like her. _Though that kick __was__ cool_...he nearly chuckled at the silent admission.

"Don't mention it." The woman grumbled and stalked over to the prone woman, weapons drawn. Alistair looked on, not about to protest over the killing of another blood mage, however it pricked his sense of honour to kill an unconscious foe. To his surprise the warden sheathed her sword instead of stabbing the woman with it. Instead she chose to crouch down next to her, gripping the mage by the hair with her free hand she flipped the woman onto her back as a cry of pain escaped their felled foe. "Now let's see what we've caught..."

_Interrogation instead of killing_..._wonderful_..._and here I thought she'd gone soft on me_...Alistair grimaced.

"Please!" The woman's eyes shot open as the dagger approached her chest. Her cry quickly turned to a pleading whimper: "Please don't...I beg you..."

"I don't care about your begging, tell me what I want instead." Lynn growled, the tip of her dagger coming to rest on the heaving chest of the woman, making her shirk away. "Where's Uldred? How many supporters does he have with him?"

"He's at the top of the tower! He and some others took Irving and his supporters to the top to..." The woman hesitated, a look of confusion on her face. "...I don't rightly know what they're going to do though! And the others...well I'm not sure how many of them there's _left_ anymore!"

"Explain."

The woman's eyes somehow widened at the growl. "Th-there's demons..._everywhere_!"

"I _know_ that."Lynn's dagger poked a little harder into the chest of the woman, cutting into the fabric of the robe. "What does that have to do with Uldred losing companions? They're yours aren't they?"

"I...I don't know..." The woman shook her head furiously. "They attack anyone on sight! Even us..." She looked away, face betraying her regret. "I...don't know what happened...we just wanted change...n-not this..."

"Change?" Lynn repeated, her voice venomous.

"Yo...you don't know what it's like..." The woman whispered the words as she looked away. "Th-they're always there, watching us...moments away from cutting us down at the smallest thing." _The Templars_...Alistair swallowed down his sudden guilt. "Even the circle leaders...they dance at the chantry's tune...keeping us locked up in here like rats."

"You had no right to do this though, you should have spoken up." Wynne countered, tone weary.

Surprisingly the woman at blade-point scoffed. "Really Wynne? I'm sure it would have been...what do they usually say..._taken_ _under consideration_...just before the ones leading the protests would mysteriously disappear." The woman shook her head. "No...we wanted to force change, to make things better." She suddenly shot them an indignant glare. "We're not to be stepped on just because we're _different_!"

_Is it just me_..._or did Lynn flinch at that_? Looking a little closer Alistair could see nothing but that the woman's shoulders were tensed up a little more then usual. "And you think this would change things?" Her voice was soft, almost gentle. _What the_...?

"It would be a start!" The woman snorted. "Even Andraste herself killed and wrought destruction in creating a better world...are we so different? We only wanted better rights! Is that so wrong!?"

His fellow warden looked away, her face a mask of bitterness. _What is she_..._I don't get it_. Alistair chose not to speak up though, sure he would just make things worse. _Not to mention you fear even taking the risk involved in affecting things...coward_. Shaking aside the irritating thought Alistair watched as Lynn sighed and spoke up: "Is it wrong...you tell me...?"

"Excuse me?"

"Is it wrong to risk all of your friends and family due to your personal desires?" The warden's eyes hardened just as she turned away from Alistair's sight, fully focusing on the mage as the grip on her hair tightened. "To fight them for some small gains? For the few to act before the many?"

"Change is _always_ wrought by the few!" The mage snapped back, apparently having forgotten about the dagger at her chest. "Some would die! We knew it! But the rest would live in greater freedom then before! They would truly _live_!"

"You think this was your duty?" Lynn hissed the words. "_This_!?" She gestured at the broken room around them. "Your duty was to _endure _if anything! Or if you wanted change so badly it was _your_ duty to make that sacrifice! The few may sacrifice their lives to make the many prosper...not the other way around! It was your life to sacrifice for great change! Not theirs!" _She's_..._taking it awfully personally_... Alistair exchanged a worried look with Wynne.

"My death would mean nothing!" The mage hissed back, equally upset. "If you could create a great change, a _good_ change...would you not be willing to sacrifice a few lives? Would the price not be worth paying? If there's no option but to sacrifice the lives of others, not yourself, would it still not be a _good_ sacrifice?"

"It is not _your_ sacrifice to make!"

The mage scoffed, eyebrow arched at Lynn as if the warden was speaking nonsense. "You think all are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater cause like me? No...the sacrifice must be _forced_ upon them, so that their friends and descendants may enjoy the fruit of that sacrifice! It may not be an easy choice but it's the _right_ one!" She narrowed her eyes at the woman standing over her. "And you _know_ it..._don't_ you?"

"I...be silent..." Lynn shook her head, a short and angry movement. "You are a traitor to your kind and your friends, you have shamed them."

"No...no I don't-"

"Die with some dignity shem..." Lynn thrust out, her dagger burying itself in the chest of the mage and silencing the rest of the protest. The mage gasped, a hand coming up to clutch at the weapon, only to limply fall back to the floor as the woman twisted the weapon about with a grunt. "...not that I care." Lynn pulled her slick dagger free and finally released the mage's hair and let her drop to the ground.

With a sigh Lynn rose, her movement slow.

Alistair found himself taking a step back as the woman turned to face them, her eyes dark.

_By the Maker_...despite his sudden fear Alistair reached for Lynn's shoulder, to support her. _It had been the right call_..._right_?

With a snort the woman shook his hand off, otherwise ignoring him as she brushed past.

As she continued away Alistair met Morrigan's and Wynne's questioning looks and shrugged, unsure what to say.

"What are you waiting for shems? We've got a long way to go..."

***

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the continued assistance. _


	20. Chapter 20

Morrigan was anything but amused.

First there had been that spirit thinking to fool her it was her mother, of course Morrigan had had none of it and quickly crushed it. The fact that it had insisted on remaining in Flemeth's shape had somewhat bothered her, making her wonder for a moment if it _hadn't_ been Flemeth before her...but she had cast such silly doubts aside. _This is the fade after all, and even __if__it__ had been my mother she had been in my way, mother knows better then to stand before me like that, she raised me not to let loyalty or difficulties stop me after all_.

Then there had been this...this constant jumping between islands of the fade as she tried to get out! Which was making her irritated enough to waste time on muttering curses like that Leliana idiot...though Morrigan's curses were of course not pretending to be some religious filth and far more colourful.

The fade was not one of her favourite places...while in the wilds there were of course predators bigger then her, some of them which she couldn't take the shape of yet...none of them were as _dangerous_ as her. Not so in the fade, despite having destroyed countless demons and spirits along her way so far Morrigan knew there were far more powerful creatures around, creatures that could crush her in mere moments.

Not that it bothered her overly much, she'd learnt to accept that some things were more powerful then her..._for now_. No, the really annoying thing was that she was _stuck_ in this prison! Stuck in some part of the fade where her search for an exit so far had proven fruitless! The worst part was that it was none of her doing. Instead of leading the templars in a good and proper purge of the tower to remove the robe-wetting children calling themselves mages Lynn had for some reason decided to _save_ the mewling infants!

_I thought I had begun to understand her, she's a woman after my own heart_..._and yet she does this_?_ It makes no sense_? _Is it her weakness for children_?_ Or the pressing need for mages, however pathetic they might be_? _This is too much of a risk either way_..._foolish woman_. Morrigan sighed as she strode through what the fade was trying to turn into a corridor of a castle, but which instead looked as some sort of ruin made entirely of bone. _Scare tactics or them not adequately copying our world_?_ Either way it's a waste_..._silly spirits_.

A hissing sound made her glance up in time to see yet another undead creature come charging at her, its twisted features split in a savage grin as it raised its sword to end her. Despite being alone it thought itself able to best her...or rather...it didn't think at all. "Bothersome pests." Morrigan raised her staff momentarily, mentally forming the _bars_, the _movement_ inwards, the _death_...it was nothing but second nature to her by now, and even more so in the fade.

With a strangled grunt the creature rose into the air as the magical prison caught it, the whole thing twisting about as it tried to escape, only to make things worse as the invisible barriers closing in on it begun to break its arms and legs.

Ignoring the struggle of the pathetic creature Morrigan strode on past it. _The exit will not be here, I can feel it. It's somewhere closer to the centre of this little kingdom_..._probably centred around that sloth demon_. Morrigan smirked, that fool Niall, if he really was a mage and not a spirit, had tried to tell her something along those lines. Morrigan had quickly gotten bored with him though and continued. _As if I need the advice of an idiot who can't even get out of that little thing he had the audacity to call a prison_...Morrigan smirked, she'd already slain two of those 'guards' of the sloth demon, and made one of it spill its guts about how the kingdom was organised before she had _literally_ spilled its guts...what need did she have for advice?

A loud crack and Morrigan felt some of her concentration return as the prison of hers was dispelled, the corpse now broken in two by the force of her mind.

_So the only exit is through the sloth demon himself? Clever_..._yet flawed, as long as none can match you you have us all nicely hemmed in_..._but when that's no longer true you will have no option but to fight a doomed struggle_. Morrigan would have smiled at the conclusion, to kill the demon who'd imprisoned her _would_ be a nice bonus to getting out of it...only thing was that she _knew_ herself not to be powerful enough to take it on alone. _Not even with these shapes of mine_...

That had been another source of annoyance, the need to find those fools that had been stuck in this prison for too long. There had been that foolish mage who gifted her with the 'strength' of his mind, _if you're so strong why couldn't you escape_? Then there had been that idiot with the ability to 'see' spirits properly or whatever he'd been babbling about..._he was madder than my mother_. There had been the whole mouse thing too... Though Morrigan had to admit that she'd found use for all of the abilities they granted her, and power wasn't to be said no to after all...she still found it disgusting to rely on some sort of borrowed power from people that couldn't get out themselves.

_Still, not even those powers combined with my own would be enough to beat the ruler of this kingdom or I would be gone already_.

No, so instead Morrigan had wasted time on not only killing these bothersome demons that blocked her path...but also to look for the very fools that had dragged her along into the mess in the first place! _Oh sweet irony_..._me__ the saviour_..._just strike me down now_.

Necessity cared not for her complaints however, and Morrigan had set out to get herself out of the mess as soon as possible.

Wynne had been pathetic. How could a mage, a mage that was supposed to be one of the higher ranked ones, a veteran, not recognise a dream!? Morrigan had nearly blasted the old crone with lightning at that...but instead she'd settled for an old fashioned slap to the face. Of course that hadn't worked, but it had felt _good_.

Shaking her head Morrigan grimaced. _Bury their bones, right_..._silly woman_. At least she'd finally managed to talk some sense into the 'mage' after her blast of fire had made one of the 'corpses' jump up and try and remove the fire. _The look on her face_..._priceless_. She'd even managed to give the old harpy another slap before she'd faded away. Morrigan chuckled at the memory. _Wonder if she'll remember that when we wake up_? _That could prove amusing_...

She eyed the surroundings with a depressed look. "_If_ I get out...damn wardens and their foolish decisions..."

Saving Alistair had been...well it had proven _amusing_...though that had been the only good thing about the whole thing.

Morrigan had honestly considered just leaving the idiot to his fate and leaving to get Lynn immediately. To be down one warden would be a loss, _technically_, but she was sure the loss of his foolish comments and loud thumping feet would be worth it. Lynn was by far the warden Morrigan believed capable of getting things done after all, not Alistair. Still, Flemeth had told her to guard them both, so that she did. There had been a moment when she had considered that the risk of going to save the man would be a waste of her time and an unnecessary risk, it sounded good in her mind at least...

Still...he was..._unfortunately_...a _good_ fighter, too good to waste due to a small risk and some time being wasted. _How much time has passed anyway_?_ I don't like having my life-force being drained away_..._I'd like to live past forty_. She snorted. _S__hould be charging that templar...oh that's not a bad idea_!

She grinned at the idea of draining some of Alistair's life-force to replenish what she'd lost...but sadly realised that Lynn would probably protest. _Despite thinking him a fool she'd no doubt come at me with some talk of our duty to one another_..._bah_.

The though had already cheered her up though and it was with an almost light heart that Morrigan found the fade pedestal she'd been looking for.

Of course the thing didn't really exist, nothing did, you could only interact with it if you _believed_ it was there, or like Morrigan, just knew well enough to use the concentrated strands of the fade and not to question its shape.

"'Tis a wonder this place hasn't driven me mad yet." She stepped up to the thing and strapped her staff onto her back. _I hate the fade_. Grabbing the pedestal with both hands Morrigan leant forward and looked down into the dark pool within it, at the concentration of fade matter that would bring her across her island to the next. _I'm done here, Lynn_..._give me Lynn_.

The pool rippled at her command, unwilling to obey, sensing that she wasn't one of the sloth demon's servants.

Morrigan only snorted at the vain attempt, pouring more of her mind into dominating the raw fade material, willing it to obey her. _I've killed spirits of the fade, no unthinking matter will stand against me_...._now give me_ _Lynn_!

The pool visibly lurched as it bent to her will, letting her mind's body pull into it. It was a strange sensation, to have her entire 'body' pulled apart and fed into the little bowl before being hurtled across a darkness that was the background buzz of the proper fade. If Morrigan hadn't such willpower to understand that it wasn't really her body she would have screamed at the 'pain', as it was she simply let it flow through her as she was brought forward.

With a hiss like that of cooking water she was brought back to a 'true' being, her body growing back out from thin air.

_I'm_..._in a city_? Morrigan had so far made a real effort to see the fade world through her companions eyes in the fade, to see what _they_ saw. Alistair had had the whole cosy house with a fireplace, cookies, cheese and far too many children for Morrigan's liking. Wynne had been back in the tower, set on burying her fallen comrades. Nightmare within nightmare apparently...

Lynn's own little nightmare seemed to take place in some sort of city. The sky was blue though, the sun shining far above them, even a couple of birds chirping from their perches atop a couple of houses. The only irritating part was the houses being filthy, downtrodden, even more so then Flemeth's old hut...and they actually smelled fouler, as if something in them was dying.

_Still, this is hardly a nightmare like Wynne's_..._oh spirits_..._let it not be something stupid like Alistair's idiocy_. Lynn didn't strike Morrigan as one who would have the dreams of lovey-dovey happiness like Alistair...but then again Morrigan hadn't expected the woman to volunteer them to save the mages either. Morrigan looked around herself, trying to find Lynn, she was nowhere to be seen though.

Fortunately there was no question where to go. For some reason high walls of stone, the top lined with black iron spikes, seemed to surround the street she was on. Behind her there was a gate...but it was closed by a portcullis of iron as black as the spikes atop the walls...and behind it Morrigan could barely make out some sort of market from where happy singing was coming.

_No going that way anyway_...relieved Morrigan turned and begun walking down the street, curiously noting the barred doors to the houses she passed, even the windows, where they hadn't been smashed, were blocked by furniture from inside the house. Still, there were gaps in the improvised cover....from whence Morrigan could feel dozens of fearful eyes follow her.

_Strange, demons hiding_?_ Why are they not out torturing our warden or something_?_ I fail to see how this would paralyse her, she's no weakling like so many others_.

Shrugging Morrigan continued her march, thankful for the 'sun' above her keeping the dirty road from turning into a mire. _Sunny_..._singing far away_..._is this perhaps one of those silly dreams_?_ Those fearful eyes says otherwise however_..._it makes no sense_. Morrigan felt her eyes narrow. _I'll __make__ it make sense_.

Turning a corner Morrigan found her answer...and herself somewhat baffled.

There were two men in splintmail armour standing in the middle of the road, both strangely...big...larger then a Qunari even, yet they were distinctly human. And before them...Morrigan blinked, unsure if she was seeing things straight. _Lynn's dead_!?

No, she shook her head, the woman on the ground sure _looked_ like Lynn...but the hair was longer, the ears exposed and the jaw a little wider...still...the resemblance was uncanny. _But if that's not the warden then_....Morrigan arched an eyebrow as she realised that the child on her knees before the dead elf had to be Lynn. The features were still there, far younger...yet it was _Lynn's_ face, nearly unchanged.

_She can't be more then in her early teens_...Morrigan stepped closer, unsure of what to do. None of the others had somehow managed to change size and age...nor had they been sobbing. _So_..._should I slap her or something? Seems like a dangerous thing to do_...she eyed the bloodied dagger in the young Lynn's hands with some fascination.

"Go ahead, stab her again." One of the inhumanly large men ordered with a chuckle and crossed his arms in front of him as he tapped the dead elf with his foot.

"Sh-she's a-already d-dead." The girl elf protested, rocking back and forth where she sat, both hands clutched to her chest. "D-don't-"

"Do it elf!" The other barked, shooting a kick towards Lynn's face. To Morrigan's surprise the warden didn't dodge the clumsy kick, instead it caught her straight in the face and sent her to the ground, an uncharacteristic whimper escaping her.

The men chuckled.

"I...I ca-"

"Do it now!" The first one raised his already bloodied sword over his head.

"I...yes..." The young warden sat back up, a hand rubbing away some blood from her nostrils as she leant over the dead elf. "Again..." The hand came down to rest on the dead woman's chest as the other raised the dagger. _Oh, how quaint_...Lynn's dagger dug into the corpse, sending an unnatural quantity of blood pouring over the young woman. "Again..." The face of the woman was dark. "...and again..."

Morrigan watched with a tilted head as the elf went loose on the corpse, stabbing it again and again, tearing the thing apart, covering herself in its blood.

_Tsk, tsk_..._such a mess_.

"Your mother wasn't very smart."

"No ser..."

_Ah, and so the puzzle falls into place, this would explain her silence of her family I suppose_... Morrigan shrugged aside the odd squeezing feeling around her chest and inched closer, head cocked to the side in interest.

"Elves don't fight."

"No ser..."

"And they _don't_ talk back either."

"No ser..."

"Your mother wasn't smart...are you?" One of the sizeable humans reached down with his bloodied sword and put it right under Lynn's chin, forcing the little girl to raise her head and meet his eyes.

The woman's mouth quivered, her eyes were large, large and wet...Morrigan found herself grimacing at the signs of weakness, unsure _what_ to feel about them. "Yes..." There was a sudden tension in the little elf. "...yes...I'm smart..."

"Smart what?"

"I'm smart...ser."

"Smart enough to know what's needed to be done?"

"Yes ser."

"Smart enough to know how to survive?"

"Yes...ser." The elf suddenly begun to crawl forward, her knees crushing the remains of her mother, slipping on the broken body as small hands reached for the grinning soldier's codpiece...

_That's just about enough_. Morrigan stepped forth, sudden anger rising within her, surprising her. "Serving at the feet of men less then yourself, this does not become you."

All three flinched at the words, three set of eyes turning to look at Morrigan, two full of surprise, the other two too sad to really care for the new arrival. "Who are you?" One of the inhumanly large men asked, confused.

"If I wished to speak to demons I would address them." She scoffed and looked over at Lynn. "Now warden, get up and grow up, we have work to do."

"Warden? H-how do you know me?" The young woman's eyes narrowed. "Mercy please, I can't...just let me be..."

"Mercy? From me? I don't _do_ mercy." Morrigan scoffed. "You _truly_ don't recognise me, do you? I thought you of all people might..." For some reason the realisation that Lynn _didn't_ annoyed her. _And here I thought she was smarter than this_..._bah_. "Now, you're not twelve or...whatever you think you are...you are in fact an adult with a tendency to play things smart...until now that is."

"She still is. She's being smart." The other 'human' protested.

"I was _not_ talking to you." Morrigan shooed the 'human' aside. "Now we have a tower to save, remember? The mages needs your oh so bold self to destroy Uldred and his cronies."

"Tower? Mages? I'm just an elf..." Lynn looked away, dejected.

"Ha! This is so unlike you, I know you, elf or human matters not to you, unless it's part of whatever game you wish to play..." Morrigan chuckled. "Or did you forget about us teasing that fool Alistair so soon?" 

"Alistair?" The woman frowned. Was it just Morrigan...or was the woman _growing_? "And how do you...I don't...trick?" The woman blinked and looked down at the hand clutching her dagger. "I...that sounds so..._familiar_..." She _was_ growing! "You...the wilds? We...darkspawn? Warden..." The woman shook her head and took a step back, confusion written across her face.

"Yes, the wardens, darkspawn, the blight, the thrice-cursed templar fool!" Morrigan snapped, annoyed. "We have work to do and I'm getting very sick of doing these things because _you_ are stuck in a dream turning you into a blubbering little girl!"

"Stop it." One of the men growled and took a step forward, eyes suddenly glowing red. "She's ours, she has embraced her true self."

"Whore." The other one growled, bloodied sword held menacingly. "Money grubber..."

"She likes it in the gutter, she knows it well." The first one advanced, the armour of his beginning to crack as something dark threatened to burst forth. "We give her peace, we make her into what she truly is."

"Greedy bitch." The second stepped up to the side. "Whore."

Then he fell, black blood pouring out from the wound in his back as a fully grown Lynn stood behind him, armed and armoured, face grim. "You forgot murderess."

The second 'human' began to turn...then lost his head to a deft sweep, black blood exploding from his neck as he collapsed. "And angry."

Morrigan blinked, unsure what the look in Lynn's eyes meant. It was angry yet...if Morrigan didn't know better she would think the woman was embarrassed. "'Tis good to see you back to your old self..." Morrigan tried to find something more to say, but failed, instead she merely settled for a meaningless gesture.

"Yes." Lynn nodded, face grim. "It is good to be back." She begun to turn her head, to look at the bloodied corpse at her back...then snapped her head back to look at Morrigan, a low growl escaping her. "Lets leave now before..."

And, as with the others, she turned to dust.

Morrigan felt her shoulders drop as the hidden tension disappeared. "That...was something else." She shrugged, there would be time for questions later, as for now... "Now lets find our demon friend, I'm eager to escape this hole."

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her help._


	21. Chapter 21

"They never listen." The templar shook his head, eyes narrowed.

Lynn, who'd begun to move towards the stairs whirled about, anger flooding her. "_I_ am not the one who'll _listen_. I am the one who will _speak_!" The templar had the _galls_ to arch an eyebrow at her, making Lynn's hands curl into fists as she took a step towards the magical cage holding him. "And _I_ will _tell_ you what will happen here. I _will_ go up there. I _will_ rescue the first enchanter and the other prisoners. And I _will_ rip out Uldreds eyes with my _bare_ _hands_!" The man flinched at the last words, a grimace on his face. "So sit down and shut your mouth you _useless_ _guard_!" The man visibly collapsed at the sentence, the words striking as true as intended.

Scoffing at the man Lynn turned back to the stairs, ignoring the odd look on Alistair's face and only hearing Wynne's whispered words because the old woman was so close. "Thank you..."

"I require no thanks." Lynn snorted, her anger fading back to a simmering mass of rage at the pit of her stomach.

She'd been violated! Her very memories twisted and warped to crush her spirit, her mind invaded by a foreign creature! She'd been reduced to a child! She'd been forced to relive things she'd pushed back to oblivion! She'd been back in an endless cycle of hopelessness and made to once again embrace strange men to survive, something she'd thought she'd been _done_ with! She had _never_ been ashamed for having done what she had done before, yet the demons had somehow drawn it out of her, _shame_...paralysed her with it.

_That's because you actually feel ashamed for doing all that, it helped you survive, but what sort of life was it_? Lynn shook her head, the realisation anything but welcome. _I did not_!_ I was proud to survive despite the odds_!_ To perform my duty to my family and the alienage_! The protest sounded hollow in her head, making her grimace. _You use everything at your disposal as a weapon, even your pride is expended by you, what of it is left_?

"Hey Lynn...you okay?"

"Shut up!" Lynn hissed, more at herself then the man at her back. Alistair was observant enough to notice the dream in the fade had troubled her, yet not as smart as Morrigan and Wynne who remained carefully silent.

_Morrigan_..._she knows_..._she saw_. Lynn suppressed the urge to glance back at the witch and try to see what she thought of their leader now. The fact that the witch now had a hold over her bothered her to no end...and Lynn knew she would have to do some damage control once all was over. _She will not get power over me, I will not allow it_! Clenching her hands so tightly it hurt she gritted her teeth, the rage within her boiling._ I will allow no one to have that_! _Never again_!

The door in front of her was closed, but not locked, giving Lynn the satisfaction of slamming it open and advancing up the final steps.

The top of the tower was all too similar to the tower of Ishal's. The domed ceiling, the painted windows, the large circular room... Instead of some rubble there was more of the filthy growths that plagued the tower...and instead of an ogre they were faced with a storm of eldritch lightning....but all in all it was too similar to her eyes.

_And here I thought things couldn't get worse_...

"Do you accept my offering?" Lynn watched, lips thin, as a mage suspended mid-air in the storm of lightning was hurled to the floor by some invisible force. The three men around him...no...one man and two of those filthy abominations...gestured down at the man, their movement choppy. "_Accept_ my offering!"

With a cracking sound of breaking bones and tendons the mage begun to change, his robes splitting across the chest as the body beneath swelled and changed. His head cracked apart, revealing a second fleshy looking head growing out from beneath the broken skull. The sleeves of his robe ripped open, revealing bulging and deformed muscles, all ending in thin claws of skin-covered bone, as if the doughy skin refused to split before the sharp claws as it should.

_Abomination_. Lynn snorted, face twisted in a grimace of disgust.

"Irving!" Wynne cried out at her back, but Lynn didn't care about looking for the no doubt neutralized enchanter, all that mattered was _him_.

The man turned his head at the sound of the cry, a wicked smile on his lips as the third abomination rose to its feet, dead eyes focused on the new arrivals. "Well what do we have here? Guests!" The voice of the man was shrill, crazed.

"_One_ who'll wring your scrawny little neck." Lynn replied, her anger quickly bubbling to the surface.

_This is the dangerous Uldred_!?_ He is thin, bald, looks sickly even without the crazy eyes_..._he's even as short as me_! Of course he was a mage, and Lynn knew better then to judge a book by its covers, still...it was something deeply insulting with finding _this_ to be her opponent!

"Oh how delightful! One with _spirit_!" The man clapped his hands together, his face alight with glee, uncaring of the drawn weapons of the four opposing him.

"Don't talk to me about spirits!" Lynn snapped, hands tightly wound around her sword and dagger. "I've already met your spirits and demons and whatever other filth you've thrown at me!"

"Ah yes, my servants, it's good that you killed them, they were not worthy to live my side, too weak!" The man laughed, a high pitched sound, digging into the very last of Lynn's nerves. "But you...you killed them all, _without_ my improvements even! _You_ could become worthy by accepting my offering!"

Lynn took a step forward and ignored Wynne trying to whisper a warning as she growled: "You can take your offerings and _shove_ them! In fact I intend to do that _for_ you!"

"Oh such a mouth...we really ought to do something about that." The man smirked, eyes glowing with a now doubt wicked idea.

"Silence shem!" Lynn felt her body grow warm as she nearly screamed at the man. "Your servant violated me! Entered my mind! The filthy creature made me dance to its tune! It was _your_ creature! And I ripped it apart! And now I intend to do the same to you! I'll rip your fucking eyes out and feed them to the fishes!"

The man chuckled, actually chuckled! "Resist if you must, the outcome will be the same..." The man cracked his neck with a wide grin on his face...an _impossibly_ wide grin.

"Remember the litany we have, with it we can win this fight!" Wynne hissed at her back even as Alistair and Morrigan both fanned out to each side of the group with cautious steps.

Lynn grabbed the rolled up paper from where it was stuck in her belt and roughly shoved it into the chest of the circle mage. "You take care of that, I will be _busy_." Before her Uldred warped into something different, his skin turning blue and purple...and expanding to impossible size. It was with an odd mix of rage and satisfaction that Lynn found herself craning her neck to look up at the new shape the man had assumed. "_Much_ better!"

The abomination Uldred was larger than an ogre. His skin had turned to dark purple scales, many jutting out like spikes on some sort of cruel armour. His arms were taller then even Alistair, both ending in five blackened claws, strange growths had shot out from the forearms and backwards past the elbows, resembling black scythes. His legs were now the size of trunks, ending in clawed feet. His horned skull resembled that of some sort of hunting beast, the snout covered with sharp teeth, reminding Lynn of a wolf. He had seven eyes, three on each side of the skull, a single one in between them, in the centre of his forehead, all glowing darkly blue, all mockingly looking down at her.

The abomination chuckled.

"Alistair! Get his friends!" Lynn hurled herself forward, barely aware of herself shouting the order as she watched the massive creature rear up at her. _Yes, come you son of a_...Lynn jumped forward, barely missing the sweeping claws coming at her even as she smashed her sword into the left knee of the creature.

Only to have the blade rebound off the thick scales with nary a mark.

"Do you accept the gift that I'm offering?" The voice was deep, dark...yet Lynn recognised Uldred's voice behind it. Jumping back before the abomination could smash his legs together and trap her, as with the ogre at the tower of Ishal, Lynn heard Wynne recite something behind her. Sure that the woman would do her best to keep Uldred's blood magic from winning him the fight Lynn concentrated on fighting the creature with a sense of glee.

_This is for your dead supporters_! Spinning Lynn drove her dagger into the calf of the abomination, succeeding in actually drawing dark blue blood from it. _This is for the sloth demon_! Spinning away she freed her dagger and at the same time dug her sword into the crotch of the creature, sending pieces of scale flying. _And this is for me_! She stabbed up at where her sword had struck, drawing fresh blood from the creature.

"Good! I will enjoy making you my own." Laughing Uldred took a wide step away from her and swept both arms at her. Lynn ran to meet the sweeping arms, jumped...and felt the rush of the two arms cleaving the air beneath her as she twisted around, deftly landing back onto her feet and facing Uldred's flank. "Impressive!"

_Then you'll love this_! Running forward she jumped once more...and landed awkwardly on the abomination's bent thigh as she stabbed her sword into the side of the creature, making blue blood pour out from the wound and drawing a growl from the creature as Uldred moved to swat away the small elf stuck to him. "Morrigan! Blast him!"

The bolt of lightning stuck the abomination square in the chest a moment later, making the creature reel back and giving Lynn enough time to pull her blade free and land back to the floor, teeth bared in a feral grin as she danced away from the late blow of the enemy. "Come now Uldred! Come _fight_ me!"

There was a deep chuckle as the creature turned after her, his lumbering gait quickly catching up with her, teeth bared in a grin rivalling her own. "Funny little one! You will embrace eternity!"

Then a fist of solid rock arched through the air and struck the creature in the side of the head, followed by a stream of white light that froze the right leg of the abomination to ice. Shaking its massive skull it turned to look at the two mages to its right, all seven eyes narrowing. "Insects...you I shall simply devour." With a crack the muscles in the frozen leg twitched, making the ice covering it break apart and fall to the floor, exposing unharmed scales.

Uldred didn't manage more then a step towards the two when Alistair bowled into him. Covered in the gory remains of the now dead followers of Uldred the former templar's shield crashed into the hip of the creature, making it take half a step towards Lynn as the force of the impact drove it back. "Die maleficar!" The man landed heavily from his jump, then lunged forward with a grunt, driving his sword clean through the right thigh of the still stumbling creature.

With a growl the abomination swung at the templar. Striking Alistair's raised shield the black claws dug through the wood and steel rim as if it was nothing...and drew a cry from the man as it found the arm beneath before the force of the blow sent him flying to the ground.

Instantly the templar was bathed in white light as Wynne's healing was directed in his direction, but even as he got to one knee it would be no help, his sword still stuck in the abomination's leg the man was defenceless as the chuckling creature moved towards him, apparently unimpeeded by the blade in its thigh. The man still raised his shorn shield though, a defiant growl escaping him. "Another impressive one, how delightful..."

_He's_..._ignoring me_!? "We're _not_ done yet!" Running forward Lynn leapt at the creature, or rather, up on the sword Alistair had stabbed into its thigh, the weapon a surprisingly solid perch. "Come here!" She pushed away with her legs, using the weapon as a launching pad, and was suddenly flying past Uldred's face as she swept her sword about.

Rolling with the impact as she landed on the floor next to Alistair Lynn looked back in time to see Uldred howl and take a step back, clawed hands coming up at the long wound that had been drawn across his snout, all the way to the mouth where it had knocked one of his teeth out. "Wow..."

"You've seen nothing yet!" Lynn growled back at Alistair, a grin on her lips. "He's mine!" Then she was rushing forth again, her blades a whirlwind of destruction aimed at the knees of the still stumbling creature.

Then she was flying, her lungs empty of all air, mind blank.

With a crash she struck the wall, fell to the floor...and rolled unto her back as her entire body begun to scream out in pain. She opened her mouth to scream, only to find herself unable to draw breath as a paralysing fire shot through her chest. "Ah..." The gasp was barely even that, just a sound, like that of a dying dog.

Then there was light, a strange prickling feeling, calm...._air_.

Blinking Lynn realised the pain was gone and looked up to see a shouting Alistair swing a freed blade at the retreating Uldred, the blade carving deep wounds in the scaled body of the creature. Behind Alistair Morrigan advanced, assisting him with bolts of lightning, streams of fire and ice...turning the scales of the creature black and cracked.

"Can you stand?" Wynne crouched down next to her, offering her hand.

Smirking Lynn arched her back, pushed her hands against the floor back behind her head, kicked out...and flew to her feet. "Of course." Ignoring the look the mage shot her she watched with narrowed eyes as Morrigan took a step back, the witch visibly trembling with the exertion of her feverish spell-casting... Then saw Alistair fly back as a kick of the growling Uldred crashed into his shield.

With a grin the creature advanced on the panting man struggling to get to his feet. "Wynne...punch him."

Running forward Lynn saw the fist of stone fly over her head and strike the abomination in the chest, making it take a step back to stop itself from falling over. "Alistair! Take a knee!" The man turned his head to look at her, the eyes in the dark slits of his helmet revealing how tired he was, barely able to comprehend her words.

He still dropped to one knee though, exposing himself to the now recovered abomination as it took a lumbering step towards him.

Lynn reached him first though, running full pelt she leapt up and forward, her right foot kicking off from the shoulder of her fellow warden....and sending her hurtling towards the face of the growling abomination with her blades drawn back to strike.

The creature opened its mouth, ready to catch her in its massive maw...

...then a deafening howl escaped it as Lynn's sword buried itself at the top of its skull.

Still howling the creature reeled back, nearly pulling the weapon out of Lynn's hands. She maintained her grip though, using the momentum of the movement of the abomination she swung herself upwards and around....and landed atop the skull of the creature. Wrapping her legs around the sword she gripped her dagger with both hands in a reversed grip, teeth bared in a wolfish grin.

"Die!" With a cry of delight she buried her dagger in one of the creature's left eyes, making blood explode from the wound and drawing a new howl from the creature as it stumbled sideways.

Both its hands came up towards her...only to shoot to the side in pain as Lynn quickly freed her dagger and buried it into one of the eyes to the right side of the skull and jerked it around, tearing apart all three eyes as the cutting blade dug sideways through scales and into the other eyes. "No!" The howl was pained, confused, the dark blue blood pouring from its skull blinding the creature and sticking to Lynn's legs.

"_Yes_!" Lynn screeched back and pulled her dagger free, sending a flood of blue blood streaming down over the floor. "Die!" With a final grunt she stabbed the dagger into the central eye.

The howl was deafening as the creature jerked, the force of the blood exploding from the fresh wound nearly knocking Lynn off the abomination while sending the slick dagger slipping from her fingers and flying away. The creature took a pair of stumbling steps backward, movements sluggish...then began to fall forward.

Rising up Lynn grasped her sword with both hands and kicked off, freeing the weapon from the skull of the creature in another explosion of blood and sending her flying away even as the beast loudly crashed to the floor.

She landed on her feet, slipped on the slick floor and landed heavily on her side, all energy suddenly leaving her.

_Ouch_...

"Wow..."

Looking up she managed a weak smile at Alistair as the man pulled off his helmet and stared at the dead abomination, then down at her. "T-told you you've seen nothing yet..." She coughed, head suddenly feeling thick, stuffed. "Maker...I'm tired..."

"I can understand that." Alistair nodded. _Huh_..._I said that out loud_? "Don't worry though, it's over, you get to rest now, you deserve it." He reached down, offering his arm.

Grasping the offered arm Lynn let herself be hoisted to her feet. "Thanks." Blinking she moved her free hand up to her face, feeling a thick sludge stuck to it only barely move under her fingers. "What the...?"

Alistair chuckled and gestured for his own face with a smirk. "You got a little..._something_...on your face."

Lynn laughed, her rage suddenly disappearing, as if a dam had broken. "Blue suits me?"

"Actually..." Alistair shot her a lopsided grin. "It kind of looks like you're choking."

She laughed again, the realisation that she was going to live another day hitting her like a wave, making her legs tremble as the tension that had kept her up disappeared. Gripping the arm of her fellow warden tighter she wavered and sheathed her sword, dimly realising that she was utterly covered in blue blood that had begun to crust into the cracks of her armour. "Right...bath _first_, rest _second_."

"Don't forget Irving and the whole circle thing." Alistair gestured at her back, making Lynn turn to see Wynne help an elderly man to his feet along with a couple of younger mages. A scowling Morrigan observing from a shadow.

Lynn couldn't help but groan. "Oh yes, forgot about that...great."

"_Heeey_...it'll be _fun_! We can take bets on whether Greagoir chooses to believe us or decides to try and kill us all for looking like demons!"

Lynn looked back, ready to snap at him. She was tired beyond words, the now dead blood mage's words still echoed in her skull, as did the memories the sloth demon had conjured up... Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it as she saw the sarcastic smirk of the man. "Heh...yes...I guess so."

"Oh right, your dagger." The man offered the weapon, grip first, the thing still covered in dark blue blood.

"Thanks." Lynn released Alistair's arm and took the dagger, the thing suddenly heavy in her weary arms. "Maker..." She shook her head, shoulders slumping as exhaustion made her waver. "...tired..."

"You want help?" The man stepped closer, the smirk gone as he looked down at her, the concern in his eyes painful to her.

Lynn shuddered and looked away. "No...no that's quite alright." _Filthy shem_...

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the continuous help._


	22. Chapter 22

"This is quite a nice fire." Wynne remarked, the woman smiling weakly as she held out her hands towards the fire.

It was early in the evening, the grey of dusk a making for a soothing coolness that the still aching Alistair was taking full advantage of. Sitting on a log just far enough from the fire for its warmth not to bother him Alistair enjoyed the way his bruises and pounding muscles begun to recover from the ordeal. Next to him his armour and weapons lay, cleaned and tended to, leaving him in a thin shirt and breezy trousers, perfect for enjoying some calm.

"Yes, it's not a great conversationalist but can somehow still hold your attention for ages." Alistair answered, offering the newest companion to their little expedition a smile.

The old woman chuckled lightly and sat down on the log closer to the fire, her legs loudly cracking with the movement. "Oh I'm so tired...though being outside the tower is a welcome change, the air will do these old bones some good."

"Air does everyone good I say." Alistair replied, feeling a little cheerful all of a sudden. _It'll be good with someone not-crazy with us for once_..."And I wouldn't call you old, anyone thirsting for adventure can't be old."

The woman chuckled and moved a hand to her grey hair, pushing back a tendril that had escaped her ponytail. "That's nice of you to say, you are quite the gentleman I can tell."

Ignoring the burning of his cheeks Alistair shrugged. "I'm just another warden." He shot the woman an awkward smile. "It's not me you need to butter up."

"And forthright." Wynne chuckled, the old mage's gaze moving towards the distant corner of the camp where Morrigan had made her nest.

Lynn had somewhat awkwardly accepted Wynne's wish to accompany them, the woman having thrown the distant Leliana a glance before reluctantly admitting that the 'human' would be useful...if she didn't slow them down. Still, it had been a friendlier acceptance then the one Leliana had gotten, so Alistair didn't doubt it would just be a manner of time before Lynn accepted Wynne as well. _Leliana_..._now that had been fun_.

When they had returned to the ground floor of the tower they had found Leliana singing a story of an adventure out at sea, somehow accompanying the tale with the odd tune from a small lute _and_ a small dance number. Suffice to say the children had been all sitting in a neat row and stareing at her in awe, the crusted blood on their clothes completely forgotten. As had, to Wynne's irritation, the two adult mages that were _supposed_ to guard them. At least the sight had brought a smile out of his fellow warden, despite her weariness, and the 'thank you' she'd given the other woman had been a genuine one.

Following Wynne's gaze Alistair easily made out Lynn's silhouette where she stood by the witch's fire...as she had for the last hour it felt like. "Don't let the cold reception fool you, she actually _shouted_ at Leliana before accepting her into the group...she'll warm up to you in time."

"Ah, you know her well then? I remember her at Ostagar, not even a warden, trying so hard to not look awed by all around her...it wasn't that long ago."

"You get to know someone quite well when you're stuck fighting with them...and _no_...I suppose _not_." Alistair frowned at admitting it. "She's a bit...wily...I can't say I actually know much of who she once was or how she thinks...I only sort of know how she reacts in certain situations by now."

"Ah, well that is always a start isn't it? As the two last wardens in Ferelden you would do well to know one another." Wynne advised, the wise words seemingly coming as if it was second nature to her. Alistair nodded mutedly at it. _Do I __want__ to know miss creepy all that well_? "Though I fear that the witch is on friendlier terms with your fellow warden..." The disapproval was heavy in the woman's voice, making Alistair shoot her a look.

During their fight up the tower Morrigan's magic hadn't been mentioned...though Wynne had shot the woman many a look. Now there was a question in her eyes, a question aimed at him, the former _templar_. Shrugging he offered her an awkward smile. "Wardens take their allies where they can get them." _Oh how I __hate__ that lesson by now_... "And however much I loathe that witch...she's been useful so far."_ And I __hate__ to admit that too_. "Not to mention that Lynn seems to have her under control." _Which scares the crap out of me_...

"Ah, very well then." Wynne looked away, looking somewhat calmed by his words. _Whew_... "I suppose I can accept that, but I'll keep an eye on the apostate none the less."

"You're kidding? I've learnt to keep an eye open when I _sleep_ by now!" Alistair and Wynn shared a chuckle at that even as he noticed the silhouette finally detaching itself from Morrigan's corner of the camp.

The woman approaching them was now dressed in nothing but a long brown tunic and sandals, showing just how pale her skin was...and had a smug look on her face, making a shiver run down Alistair's spine. _Talks with Morrigan yielding smug Lynn_..._should I be running_? Wynne managed a smile though. "You look suspiciously like the cat that swallowed the canary."

"Just won a little sparring match..."_Little_!?_ You were there for an hour_! "...it's good to know you're still in charge..." For a moment her eyes were distant, far off in a memory...then the woman looked down at Alistair, gaze lingering on the fading bruise along his jaw that he didn't even remember getting. "Are you okay?"

"Oh I'm fine." Alistair grunted and pushed himself to his feet while glancing over at Wynne. "I'm not going to bother you two, I'm sure you want to introduce yourselves to each other and such."

"Actually...could I talk to you first?" Lynn shot the mage a look. "If it's not a bother?" _Huh, a polite Lynn_?_ The beating we've received must have tenderized her or something_..._wait_..._she wants to talk to __me_!? Alistair didn't think he had energy enough to feel panic, yet he did and nearly tripped on the log behind him as he took a step backwards.

"Of course dear." Wynne bowed her head. "Don't mind little old me, I'll just stay here and enjoy the warmth of the fire..."

Shooting the mage a brief nod Lynn gestured for Alistair to follow her a bit to the side, a frown creasing her forehead as she looked up at him.

Alistair was the one who spoke out first though: "Haven't asked you if you're okay..." He noticed her eyes narrow and managed a weak smile. "...the last hour..." To his relief there was a flicker of amusement in the eyes looking back at him at that, he couldn't help but ruin it though: "...I mean the fade and...everything...couldn't have been pleasant."

"No, no, it wasn't." Lynn looked away, her left hand coming up to rub her elbow. "But it's over now. Morrigan saved us...and won't ask for anything in return." She smirked. "Apparently I managed to pay my debt in full...got off easy if you ask me."

_I don't even want to __know__ how you paid her back_. Alistair couldn't help but ask the question that had been bothering him ever since they've left the tower though: "She didn't...she didn't _tell_ you anything did she?"

"I asked her not to." The woman frowned, looking confused as she stared at his chest. "I...thought it best that way."

Alistair drew a breath of relief. "Thank you."

"It's done and over with." Lynn shook her head violently, shaking aside the memories bothering her. _Wonder what she had dreamt_..._better not ask though_. "But that wasn't what I was going to ask you about." She looked up at him, a curious look on her face. "You said you were raised by arl Eamon..." _How in Thedas did she remember that_!? "...yet you're...a templar?"

"I was training to become a templar before Duncan recruited me." Alistair answered as neutrally as possible, surprising himself with how little pain he felt at the mention of his old mentor. There was a little guilt but..._so much has happened since then, it feels like ages ago_. "And it's nothing interesting really, can't have a kid running about the castle all day long! You got to have him _doing_ something!" He shrugged. "Becoming a templar was the choice Eamon settled on."

Lynn looked up at him with a decidedly unconvinced look, making him sweat despite the thin clothes and shirt. _Oh Maker, please don't make her dig into it, I know I won't be able to keep myself from answering, and then_..._Maker please_.... Then she simply shrugged. "Sure." _Oh thank you_! With an effort of will Alistair managed to keep himself from breathing out in relief, despite the woman no doubt seeing through his 'explanation'. "I was actually more curious about this templar thing...I assume that was what you used against the mages back at the tower?"

"Sure, sure." Alistair nodded, eager to talk about something away from his origin. "I was trained as a templar by the chantry, it's very much focused on a warrior's discipline and inner calm." He chuckled at Lynn's look. "_Yes_ I have an inner calm! Believe it if you will!" He smirked at her. "So I don't think you'd make much of a templar..."

"Ovaries notwithstanding eh?" Lynn smirked back as Alistair felt a flush begin around his neck. _Hadn't even thought about that_.... "But we're getting sidetracked...I'm just wondering...is it magic? It looked like it."

"You _could_ call it that." Alistair nodded. "Though don't tell it to the chantry, it's rather the opposite of magic, magic draws its power from the fade, emotions I suppose..." He grimaced as he forced himself to remember more: "The chantry would tell you the templars draw our powers from faith, but since I'm not much for religion you probably understand that's just talk...it's more of a _nothing_. It removes the power of the mages by nullifying their very connection to the source of their power. Without a certain strain behind it they can't draw upon their powers...or something...it's hard to explain."

"I...see." Lynn frowned and looked back down at his chest, eyes distant in thoughts. "So...you...could teach others?"

"With the right discipline yes. Maybe even Sten." Alistair nodded, understanding what she had in mind. Then he couldn't help but add: "The chantry uses lyrium to teach templars to use their abilities, it helps you in learning them quicker, and maybe even make the abilities a little more powerful...but it's certainly not _needed_...and the drawback is far too serious for me to even _consider_ such a practice."

"What drawback?" The woman looked up at him, an odd look in her face.

"Addiction." Alistair grimaced, then shrugged and looked away, eyeing a distant tree-stump with a heavy heart. "I guess it's clever of them in a way, the chantry controls all lyrium trade, so that way they not only keep the templars stronger than naturally...they keep them nicely leashed."

"That's..." The woman hesitated. "...so you humans not only imprison all different then you..." _Oh you little_...Alistair instantly felt his mood turning from sorrow to anger. _Not__ this again_. "...but also those you _make_ different...is there no end to the-"

"Stop it." Alistair glared back at the woman.

"What?" The woman blinked, surprised at him interrupting her.

"I didn't fall for it at Lothering and I won't do that now." Alistair growled and looked down at the far shorter woman and leant forward, making her crane her neck to look up at him. "First of all I don't see myself as _human_, I see myself as a warden, a man and a templar, in that order, that's _who_ I am." He narrowed his eyes at her, his lips curled back as he hissed the words from between bared teeth, his speech slow and measured. "If you want to identify yourself as an elf, _fine_, all well and good. But don't you _dare_ identify _me_ as a _filthy human_ because you want your own identity to be better than mine."

"I..."

"Back at Lothering you used it to make me feel ashamed over my race, over something I had no control over." He took a deep breath before continuing, his voice still low and measured. "You _dare_ brush all humans under one comb? You've met a bunch of rotten eggs and now all of a sudden we're _all_ bad? I guess if that's how it works I can say that all elves are thieves and murderers."

"I...no..." The woman took a step back, actually looking baffled as a hand moved up towards her ears...only to drop back to her side. "...you're...right..."

"I..._am_?" Alistair blinked, his anger swept away by surprise and confusion.

"Yes." The woman looked down at her feet, a strange whining sound escaping her, making Alistair wonder if she was crying, sudden guilt washing over him._ Maker_..._I didn't strike at something that was in her dream did I_!? "I...knew better yet...I did not act as such." She looked up at him, her eyes thankfully dry, and deceptively calm. "I apologise."

"That's...quite alright." Alistair smiled, feeling quite good about himself. "I'm sure you had a good reason for...all of it." He placed a hand on Lynn's shoulder, the woman surprisingly cold to the touch.

The frown returned to the woman's face as she glanced over at the hand, but Alistair forced himself to keep it there...and then smiled inwardly as the woman accepted it and looked back up at him. "Now...err...what was that about....addiction?" Her voice sounded a little embarrassed, but there was no flushing of her face and Alistair pulled his hand back as he realised she must feel a little awkward accepting it there even with all that had been said.

The question in fact managed to make him feel a little awkward as well. "Yes, lyrium is addictive...if a templar doesn't get it he'll soon suffer from hallucinations and even madness...it's quite fatal at the end if you're not careful."

"I haven't seen our supplies of it diminish...recruits don't get it during training?"

Alistair would have chuckled at the idea of him stealing from their supplies...well unless it was _cheese_...but the old memories would not allow it. "Yes they do, not as much though..." He managed an awkward chuckle. "After he conscripted me Duncan locked me into a cell for a week, force-fed me and gave me a minimal amount of lyrium as he cured me of it. Even with me just being _lightly_ addicted to the stuff it wasn't pretty..." He managed a weak smile as he looked down at his hands, the scars still covering his knuckles. "Crashing head first into the door, pounding the walls until my knuckles broke, shouting curses I didn't even know of at the ceiling...you name it."

"Alistair..."

"Wasn't _that_ bad though, got some cool scars along with losing that addiction...Duncan really _did_ save me." He chuckled and let his hands drop out of sight and instead eyed his boots, the leather worn with use. _Funny, suits me_... "Though I never really _did_ thank him...I suppose I felt too ashamed of it, of what I called him as he helped me kick the addiction. I truly _did_ hate him back then...and I couldn't really face him about it later...I really regret that now."

"Alistair I..." A hand came up, making him flinch as suddenly tired eyes followed it towards his shoulder. It hesitated there, shaking a little...before dropping down. "...I'm sorry." Then the hand pulled away, as if burnt.

Looking back up Alistair found his fellow warden already retreating, her steps hurried as she marched towards the distant Wynne.

He couldn't blame her, not only had she had the possibly longest day of her life, she had also been berated by Alistair..._maybe I should have brought it up another day_? _And_ had then been confronted by a less then fun fact about Alistair that probably didn't help the already stressed woman with all that had happened._ I shouldn't have said anything_...he grunted, realising his tiredness probably had had something to do with it..._not to mention that you're far too honest for your own good_. He snorted at the thought and watched the other warden sit down by the fire, her back towards him a clear signal.

Sighing Alistair moved to rub the back of his head as he made for his tent. _It has been a looong day_...


	23. Chapter 23

_Damn thing chafes at the heel_..._bet that abomination dented it_. Alistair grumbled as he looked down at his left plate boot, he found no dents however, not even a mark. _Maybe there's a rock in it_? Grumbling a little more, one couldn't do it too often after all, Alistair sat down on the tree-stump he'd spotted last night and pulled the boot off, grunting he flipped it upside-down.

Nothing happened.

_Well I'll be_...he shook the boot, frowning as nothing came out._ Oh no you don't_..._I'm __not__ walking all day with something chafing through my foot_! He shook it a little harder.

A chuckle to his right made him look up at Leliana, the woman already dressed in full leather armour and now strapping her lute and lyre to her pack and at the same time stuffing it with her harmonica, blanket, clothes and..._underwear_..._small_..._thin _underwear. Swallowing Alistair looked away. _And how can her pack be twice the size of my own pack_? _Oh why did I volunteer to help her with carrying her things_? Looking back Alistair's grimace quickly faded at the brilliant smile aimed his way._ Oh, right_... "Equipment issues? I thought you tended to them last night?" The heavy orlesian accent was thick with her teasing tone.

"I did." He replied, sounding a little too whiny in his own head, forcing him to clear his throat as he continued: "You saw it yourself, but _apparently_ the mice left me a rock or something as a present." He shot the woman a grin.

"Mice? Where?" The bard turned her head, half-risen from her seat as she tried to find the rodents.

"Oh everywhere...this _is_ Ferelden after all." Alistair chuckled at the sight of the more then capable woman swallowing, eyes darting left and right. "They're especially fond of creeping up on people when they sleep and nibbling away at their toenails...it's good for their fur you see."

Leliana's eyes narrowed at that and she shot him a scathing look, which was somewhat ruined by the slight curve of her lips. "You're having me on!"

"You're such a girl." Alistair teased with a smile and shrugged, only to be rewarded with a clatter as something small and grey rolled out of his boot. "Hey! I got it out!"

"Impressive."

"If you think that's impressive then you should see me cleaning my socks!"

"I've never seen that..."

"Precisely!"

"That doesn't..." The woman's eyes widened. "_Ewww_...Alistair!"

"Is this jerk bothering you?" Turning Alistair groaned inwardly as he realised Lynn had shown up, in full scale armour, looking more then ready for their journey. He tried to see any embarrassment or....something...from last night, but there was nothing in her face betraying anything but amusement. "Tsk, tsk...Alistair...and here I've heard rumours of you being a gentleman."

_Maker_... "I've never claimed...I mean..." Alistair felt the start of a blush as he struggled to find words. _Damn me and my awkward tongue_! "...I was just informing her of the local wildlife." He finished somewhat lamely, shrugging awkwardly.

"Yes, the toe eating mice, quite a nuisance." Lynn shot Leliana a _look_, a very _worrying_ look. _Maker, please don't let them become allies_... "Almost as bad as the tripping rats."

"Excuse me?" Alistair blinked, then saw Leliana and Lynn exchange a smirk. _Maker_..._why_!?

"Oh yes...they're quite fast too, always out of sight of the unwary." Leliana replied, hands innocently clasped in her lap, as if in prayer...which was ruined by the smirk still playing on her lips.

Lynn nodded in agreement. "Yes, you never know when one of them comes scampering out of the bushes in front of a stomping foot, sending the odd fool falling face first in the dirt..." _Oh_..._crap_. Lynn and Leliana exchanged a look, then looked over at Alistair's darkened face, then back at each other with a painfully girlish giggle.

"Did you two just...threaten me?" Alistair tried, despite knowing he'd already lost.

"Oh no." Leliana teased, lush lips pouting in feigned innocence. "We're simply..._informing_...you of the dangers of scampering rodents on the road ahead of us, yes?"

"I...see." Alistair's head dropped as he slowly put his boot on, wanting nothing but to get going all of a sudden. _First Lynn hates Leliana and now this_..._is everything a big joke on me_? "I guess I'll be wary then." The glance he shot at the two women told him it wouldn't help though. _I hate eating dirt_...

"You do that." Lynn chuckled and moved closer. "Oh and before we leave...could I have a word with you?"

_Not again_... "Sure."

Getting to his feet he saw Leliana do the same, the woman arching her back like a cat with a blissful look on her face._ How does she make everything look so_..._sensual_? Once finished she shot him and Lynn a look before turning and walking away. "I think I'll see if I can get Wynne to tell me a story of her time in the circle..."

Then Lynn snapped her fingers in front of him. "I get it, she's beautiful, focus."

"What? No!" Alistair protested, a bit too loudly, making Leliana glance back as she advanced towards where Wynne was slowly packing her many poultices. "I mean..." He looked down at Lynn and felt his cheeks begin to flush. "I'm just amazed anyone can be so limber..." The elf arched an eyebrow at him. "Well...I know you're perhaps even more limber...not that I...notice or..." Suddenly it felt as if his face was afire. "...though she does it more stylishly...not that I'm saying _your_ way of moving _bad_ or...anything..." And _there_ he felt it, his entire face turning strawberry red.

To his surprise Lynn simply chuckled and didn't take advantage of his state._ Huh, maybe she thinks she owes me_? "Right...could we focus?"

"Yes..." Alistair cleared his throat and took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. "...sure, very much so...please."

"Heh...well I wanted to ask you for something, something Duncan sort of promised...but probably never had time to mention." The woman glanced to the side, looking strangely awkward.

Alistair, suddenly very focused at the mention of his mentor, snapped to attention. "If Duncan promised something I'll do my best to uphold it." He felt his resolve waver a little. "It's...the least I could do."

"Good...though you don't..._really_ have to do it." Lynn bit her bottom lip. And then Alistair saw it...a hint of a decidedly _pink_ pointed ear under her tousled hair. _Oh so __that's__ it...she's embarrassed! Odd way to blush though_..._wait_..._Lynn's__ embarrassed about something_!?

_Should I_..._nah_..._can't take advantage of it_. "If it's of help I'll gladly do it." Alistair shrugged, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Of course you will..." There was a tinge of bitterness in the woman's voice, then she looked up at him, eyes even. "I'm not that fast at reading...Duncan promised that you could perhaps help me with...that."

"You can't read?" Alistair blinked, of all the things he'd expected...

"I _can_ read!" Lynn protested, mouth twisted into anger...which quickly faded as she sighed. "Just not...that well. It takes to much time and I have trouble with some of the longer words and I can't really take my time with so much stuff needed to be read to understand all in the codex and..."

Alistair smiled reassuringly as he put a hand on the woman's shoulder, putting her babbling explanation to stop. "It's no problem, I'll help." He met Lynn's gaze, forcing himself not to smile too widely at the hint of uncertainty in her eyes. _And here I thought she never knew doubt_...

"I..._thanks_." The woman looked to the side. "I...don't really know how to repay you."

Alistair chuckled. "There's no need, we're allies and fellow wardens, remember?"

"No, I'll...come up with something." The woman shook her head, eyes suddenly hard. "I owe no one..." She glanced up at him in alarm. "...I mean I pay my debts." There was a look of unease in her face as she said it, as if she'd somehow been caught off guard.

"Well I wouldn't say no to...you know..._not_ eating dirt." Alistair offered, feeling a little awkward himself all of a sudden and taking a step back as he rubbed the back of his head...and drawing a wince from him as his gauntlet caught and tore off some new hairs from his neck. "Or a haircut..._owie_..."

Lynn laughed. "I'll see what I can do!" The laugh slowly died out as she cocked her head to the side and frowned at him: "And I haven't asked how you're doing in a while....Duncan's still on your mind?"

A little surprised by the question Alistair shrugged. "Every minute...but it's easier now, it feels like such a long time ago...though it hasn't even been more then a week. I guess I feel a little ashamed about that, that it's so easy for the pain to just fade to something distant...know what I mean?"

"Yes, yes I suppose I do." Lynn nodded. For a moment Alistair thought she was going to say something else...then she shook her head and slowly said: "I guess...time is measured in experiences and not hours?"

"I...guess so." Alistair shrugged._ Dammit, she's right_..._I still hate that_. "Still doesn't take the shame away though, I keep running the scenario through my head, trying to find another way to...do things...it never works." _Well if you hadn't been there I might have been down there with Duncan and helped him_...Alistair shook his head, willing the thought away, knowing it was anything but helpful, just a way for him not to blame _himself_ for once.

"So you're ready to focus at the task at hand then?"

Alistair laughed. _And __there__ she is_! _Almost thought she'd disappeared_! "Yes, I'm quite focused! Don't you worry!"

"Good, because I have a feeling we're going to need you at the ready."

"Yes, ser!" Alistair snapped his heels together and saluted the much shorter elf, a lopsided smirk on his lips. "I'm ready for orders, ser!"

Rolling her eyes Lynn shook her head. "Strange hu...strange man." _Ha_! _Victory_..._of a sort_. "And what's with that anyway? Not that I don't mind leading...but I figured you as a senior warden would be all over taking the reins?"

Alistair felt his mood drop at the question, but still managed a grin as he waved his hands in front of him. "_Meee_? _Lead_?_ N_o, no...that's a _bad_ idea...I'd get us lost, dead...or _worse_!"

"Alistair." Lynn crossed her arms in front of her and gave him a decidedly unamused look. "I've already told you you're not an idiot."

"No-no, you said I wasn't as dumb as I _looked_." Alistair pointed out with a smirk and raised an accusing finger. "Which means I could _still_ be an idiot! Ha!" His eyes glanced away as he managed a pout. "Which...isn't all that much to be happy about really...though I guess I take what I can get."

"Silly...fine." Lynn shook her head, giving up. _Whew_... "Then I guess you should get _Leliana's_ pack and get moving." She shot him an amused smirk.

Rolling his eyes Alistair shrugged. "What can I say? She said the magic word."

"What magic word?"

"'Please', it gets you all manner of things." He chuckled. "Oh and about moving out...I was thinking that we could use a boat. I heard of one going south...it would be faster then taking the road."

"South?" The woman blinked, an indecipherable look on her face.

"Yes, south." Alistair replied, a sudden lump in his stomach. "I mean taking the northern road would be a looong detour if we wanted to Redcliffe, unless you're worried of the darkspawn having reached the road that is...but then the boat would be an even better idea."

"Alistair...we're not going to Redcliffe."

"What do you mean 'not'?" Alistair blinked, the lump in his gut growing as his arms got numb. "We've put out the fire here...we should by all logic go and see to Eamon and his sickness."

"No, what help can an old man that's too sick to speak offer?" The woman hesitated as Alistair felt his hands clench into fists. _Old_..._man_!? "I mean...what could he do for us while in that state? If we wait until he recovers we could stand to actually get something done..."

"And what if he _doesn't_ recover?" Alistair hissed thought clenched teeth.

Lynn hesitated, but then shrugged. "Then someone else takes over...right?" She shot him an awkward smile. "But either way Redcliffe is paralysed until his state changes...we can't do anything with him until then. Now over in Orzammar they apparently have this crisis that..."

"_Changes_!? You don't _care_ if it's him _dying_ or _recovering_!?" Alistair felt his face flush with something far from his earlier embarrassment. "Eamon is a respected man! We _need_ him!"

"His successor wouldn't support us?" Lynn countered, the woman infuriatingly calm. "Alistair, I know that you have a history with this man but we can't drop everything and-"

"You know _nothing_!" Alistair snapped, body shaking with anger. "Without his support the help of the mages and dwarves and whatever other things we scrape up won't do us _any_ good! We can't win against Loghain without his political power and respect in the landsmeet!"

"Again, I'm sure that even if he dies his successor would be more than-"

"We don't need _Teagan_!" Alistair snorted, despite knowing the man to be as good a leader as anyone it was just...they needed Eamon! "We need _Eamon_! Only Eamon has the clout to challenge _Loghain_!"

Lynn sighed, a hand coming up to rub the bridge of her nose. "And what would we do? We have Wynne but I don't think even she can do anything the healers already at his side can't...what would we do once we're there?"

"I...don't know...be _creative_!" Then she did it, she _snorted_. "Don't you _dare_! I realise that you care for nothing but advantages and power!" Alistair raised a clenched fist against the woman's face. "But I'm telling you now...there are _other_ things but that you...you..." He struggled for words, his anger tying up his throat as he watched the elf's amber eyes narrow.

"You _what_?" Lynn snapped back, teeth suddenly bared. "Elf? Woman? Idiot?"

"_Yes_!" Alistair watched Lynn flinch at the answer. "_Idiot_ sounds quite good in my mind!"

"Wow, you have a mind of your _own_?" Lynn scoffed. "And here I thought you _liked_ being led around like a dog."

"At least a dog knows something about _loyalty_!"

There was a visible twitch in Lynn's face at that, her eyes narrowing as she pushed two fists into her side. "Loyalty!? I know _all_ about loyalty! I also know about _duty_! My _duty_ to Ferelden and the wardens! A _duty_ that means I'll do what's best to defeat the blight! _Not_ to do what strikes my fancy!"

"Oh _yes_, your great _duty_!" Alistair scoffed and pushed his arms wide as he rolled his eyes. "A duty that you barely _understand_! You don't know what a warden truly _is_! You've met me and Duncan...and that's _it_! You are _not_ to lecture me about the duty of a warden!" He shook his head furiously, wanting nothing but to slap the self-righteous anger out of the woman's face. "You're just...you haven't even _read_ all there is about the wardens and you think yourself the great leader and our last hope against the blight! You have some _gall_!"

Lynn shook a fist back at him, thin lips nearly spitting at him as she spoke: "I didn't _ask_ for this duty! But I will _do_ it! If you have a problem with the way I do it then_ too bad_! I lead us! And I say we do the _responsible_ thing instead of going to watch some human arl die because of your _conscience_!"

Alistair paused, the air going out of him as he realised he couldn't win the argument, that he was doomed to follow Lynn to some dwarven hold as his father in all but blood lay dying for all he knew... "I...fine." His shoulders slumped and he looked away, his mouth a mere line. "Let's do it your way then, never mind the vital Eamon...I'll follow you to this disaster."

"_Of course_ you will.." Lynn scoffed and turned on her heel, her steps infuriatingly calm as she walked away.

Watching her leave Alistair couldn't help but shoot a glare at the others around the dead fire that were staring at him, making all but Sten quickly look away. "What are _you_ looking at!?" The giant didn't answer, merely crossing his arms in front of his chest. _Great, another supporter of Lynn_..._I'm all alone_... Grumbling he moved over to Leliana's pack and pulled it up, nearly tearing the strap off with his angry grip. Then he shot the others a final glare, _especially_ the calmly packing Lynn...before heading off towards the road.

_Oh Duncan_..._I miss you_...


	24. Chapter 24

"I have felt your eyes upon me for the last hour." Morrigan noted with a disinterested shrug. "Speak your mind or let me be."

The path had so far been long and somewhat dull. The way to Orzammar was far longer than the way between the accursed mage's tower and the gathering of hovels called Lothering...and the only thing that had made the journey less of a headache was the fact that the two wardens were _still_ arguing...in a way.

Ahead of Morrigan Lynn lead the group with her slobbering dog in tow, the woman never looking back, head held ridiculously high as she continued to push the pace, much to the elderly Wynne's discomfort and Morrigan's amusement. _Though even my times in the wilds didn't prepare me for __this__ kind of march_..._I'm lucky to have had some herbs to keep my strength up_. To her left Leliana panted loudly, the bard apparently not used to hard marches. _Oh what a surprise_...Morrigan snorted.

At their back Sten and Alistair marched on. The qunari not in the least bothered by the scorching sun and fast pace... Alistair seemed dead set on not looking bothered either, despite his heavy plate armour nearly glowing in the sun, the thick sheen of sweat coating his forehead and the fact that he was drinking like a horse. Morrigan chuckled at the sight, amused that Lynn so easily had found a way to torture her fellow warden.

Finally Wynne spoke up from walking to Morrigan's right, the old crone apparently needing a few minutes to get started. _I'm surprised she can even walk and talk at the same time_..._her wheezing has been hounding us for the last hour_. "I have a question Morrigan."

Morrigan scoffed. "How surprising, aren't you one of the all-knowing mages?"

"Slings and stones..." Wynne chuckled at the words, making Morrigan frown. _What does slings and stones have to do with things_? "No, I wish to ask you of your magic, where did you learn to use it?" The old woman hesitated. "For I assume you didn't learn such discipline on your own?"

"Oh how _transparent_!" Morrigan laughed. "I realise that you've already spoken to either Alistair or Leliana, both equally eager to tell you of my past. But very well, I was taught to use my abilities by my mother...Flemeth as you no doubt is aware of."

"I see..." Wynne muttered, drawing a grin from Morrigan. _What_?_ Thought I would simply roll over and let you play me for a fool_? "And you never wondered how it would be to be trained in the tower?"

"You mean that abomination infested prison we just left? No, I haven't."

"The rebellion was a terrible thing, and very much a one time event." Wynne snapped, apparently upset over Morrigan's disinterest in the destruction of the place. She then took a deep breath, calming her old self before she'd suffer the stroke Morrigan had begun wishing upon her. "I merely wonder if you never asked yourself if proper teaching wouldn't have-"

"Proper?" Morrigan scoffed and watched with interest how Lynn ahead of them moved a small cloth to her forehead. _So she too feels the strain_..._then why hurry_? "'Tis hardly proper to cover the walls with blood as abominations tear apart the students...though amusing I suppose."

"_Amusing_!?" Wynne stumbled sideways at the word, drawing a smirk from Morrigan.

"Yes, for _years_ your chantry tells us apostates what is right and proper way of magic, what magic's place is. Yet now we have their way _failing_ spectacularly while the apostate _saves_ the day...'tis so amusing I almost didn't mind the little expedition." _Not to mention the grimoir_...Morrigan's hand moved down to the extra heavy weight in her pack. _A fair trade, our warden truly knows how to buy my silence_...t_hough I suppose I was a little easily bought_, _could have gotten more_. Morrigan grimaced, something in Lynn's..._desperation_ to make a deal there had made Morrigan seal the deal quicker then she would have otherwise...it was a bit troubling.

"You have a wicked tongue Morrigan, I hope you know when to guard it, some people will not be as patient as I am."

"And if they actually have _some_ power that I have a reason to fear I will most assuredly be careful, alas such is not the case with the current company." Morrigan smirked, sensing the woman next to her fume at the words.

"For an apostate you're surprisingly bold. Do you not fear the templar's and what might be done to you if your flaunting of your origin makes you a target?"

"Other than to every one of Loghain's assassins and darkspawn in Thedas I suppose." Morrigan dryly remarked before shrugging. "And should I fear these templars that couldn't even contain the mice in the tower from rebelling? 'Tis not such a frightening thought, to be scrutinized by them. The threat of the templars is minimal if they accept the likes of Alistair in their ranks after all."

"He is a good man and warrior." Wynne retorted, drawing a scoff from Morrigan. "And surely not even _you_ are arrogant enough to think yourself able to fight all the templars coming at you if you are revealed as an apostate?"

"And who would tell them?" Morrigan shot Wynne a smirk. "You? I hardly think our warden friend would _appreciate_ that...she holds me and my abilities in far higher esteem than you and yours, I'm sure she would make at least some effort in preserving my life if you decided to turn on us...and that might very well include silencing you."

Wynne didn't look the least frightened, much to Morrigan's irritation. "Threaten me all you will Morrigan, but one day Lynn will recognise you as the danger you are."

"Takes one to know one, she knows me and I her, I will not give her a reason to fight me...and you would do well to remember who she puts more faith in." Morrigan smiled at Wynne's obvious discomfort. If it was at the idea of Morrigan turning Lynn against her or just the fact that half the wardens in Ferelden listened to an apostate instead of the senseless chatter of the chantry the witch couldn't tell. "As for the templars...why would I fight them all? There are many ways to avoid them, trick them away...or simply change my shape to that of a wolf...how would they find me?"

There was small grumble from Wynne, no doubt the mage found someone so obviously capable of remaining away from the shackles she'd so willingly put on herself irritating. "One day you'll find there are other things in life but power and survival Morrigan...and I feel sorry for you, it will _not_ be a pleasant experience."

"Empty words...oh how many you are capable of uttering." Morrigan shrugged and rolled her eyes. "If that is all you are capable of _chanting_ then I see no further reason to continue this farce of a conversation."

"Very well. But this is far from over." Wynne promised, the old woman wheezing heavily by now.

Morrigan chuckled. "Yes, I'm sure you'll continue to wound me with those oh so harsh words of yours..."

*

*

*

Ferelden was _bigger_ then Lynn had imagined. Even _with_ her having pushed the pace...both to annoy the heavily armoured and pack-carrying Alistair as well as to show him she was set on their course...there was still some way to go to reach Orzammar.

Alistair was still, after days on the road, sulking after their argument. To be honest Lynn had planned to bring him out of it the next time at camp, apologise and get things under way...

Then the _idiot_ had come to _her_ during their first rest instead, dumped a heavy book in her lap and told her to start reading as he sat down next to her, face set in an angry scowl. She'd read a sentence, been corrected, then told to read it again. The next sentence she'd been forced to repeat simply because she'd read it _slowly_! And it had gone on like that for an entire _hour_! An hour of just reading a stupid book while the stupid templar idiot stood behind her and _nit-picked_ on ever little thing he could find! It had been _infuriating_! Even more so since she'd technically asked for it!

She hadn't expected him to uphold his promise after their argument...but apparently he was set on showing her _he_ knew a great deal about duty _too_...and that was as irritating as the lesson itself! Because it turned the whole lesson in one long straining effort not to start yelling at him and showing that he indeed _was_ the one better at doing his duty!

So the apology had gone out the window, instead Lynn had settled for studying with him as well as she could, trying to minimize the amount of critique he shot her way. Of course her actually getting better was annoying as well...showing that he indeed _was_ a good teacher...but it was less of a blow to her pride than constantly being corrected by the idiot that couldn't see reason!

Lynn of course had her ways to pay him back in full. The heavy pace was one thing, straining the man that couldn't protest out of his prickled pride beyond what was really healthy...but there was also the way she'd insisted on all but the mages to learn to use the bow and crossbow. That was not only for the sake of showing she took on the duty of being prepared...but also another blow aimed at Alistair's endurance.

While she received her lessons from Leliana in properly handling the shortbow currently in her hand Alistair was being trained by Sten in the use of the crossbow...Lynn had taken great delight in _ordering_ the man to begin the training with Sten after they've made camp... Though he frustratingly enough complied without protest it was still fun to watch the already exhausted warden struggle with the taut crossbow string for an hour each evening, leaving the man covered in sweat and panting as heavily as he had during the end of their marches. The fact that the man couldn't contain his groan as he laid down to sleep was just the icing on the cake.

"The world to Lynn, hello?" Blinking she looked up from the bow in her hand and found Leliana waving a hand in front of her, a sparkling smile on her lips. Her other hand holding up the arrow Lynn had placed in the edge of the target three dozen steps away a few moments ago. "Are you there?"

"Ah yes...sorry." Lynn fiddled with the hem of the long tunic she now wore with the hand holding the bow as the other came out to grasp the offered arrow. "Was thinking."

"Would those thoughts pertain to a certain fellow warden you've been torturing?" Leliana asked, expression far too innocent as the woman ran a hand down her own tunic.

"He's still sulking, the fool..." Lynn shot a glance to the left where Sten and..._no one_ stood? "Hey Sten! Where's Alistair?"

The qunari didn't take his eyes off his crossbow as he moved to reload it, apparently not bothered by the work, despite their long march. "The hour of training has passed warden, he is off chopping wood."

"Ah, of course." Lynn shook her head and looked back at her target as she muttered: "Damn idiot; 'oh I'm a male and can go on for ages despite clearly being about to fall over with exhaustion'..." Of course that was another of Alistair's little plays, despite being forced to do more then he could physically handle he took on more then she ordered him to. Not only did he this to show how he took on his duties, but she suspected he was trying to win some sort of sympathy from her.

_Dream on_...

"I thought you _wanted_ him to fall dead with exhaustion?" Leliana asked pointedly. It was hard to judge the bard's view of the argument so far, it was an odd mix of amusement and condescendingness. _Bah, what does she know_? _Perhaps I should be the bigger person and get an apology under way so we can focus on things_..._but it's hard to do that when his accusing eyes continue to bore into me whenever he's around_!

"Either that or stop that stupid sulking of his." Lynn snorted and pulled back the string to her bow and raised it in one fluid movement as taught...unfortunately the arrow lodged itself in the very corner of the target despite her having done everything right. Lynn pouted at the target even as she continued: "I get it, I _do_, he worries for the man he basically views as his father...but duty comes first."

Leliana hummed in agreement as she handed Lynn another arrow and begun to circle the other woman. "So you don't blame him then?"

"Not..._really_." Lynn admitted, irritated all of a sudden. "I don't want to talk about it dammit." She loosed another arrow, this one missing the target completely. "By all the...shemshit!"

Leliana chuckled. "Oh that's a _new_ one...you must be _really_ upset..." Suddenly there were a pair of thin hands on Lynn's shoulders, pushing them down and making her realise how far up they'd gone. "Calm down...it's okay to be upset..." The orlesian's hushed tone was...as always...far more soothing then any voice had a right to be, instantly making Lynn take a calming breath, even to smile a little.

That was another thing Lynn had that would probably mean Alistair gave in first.

_She_ could amuse herself by talking to Wynne about politics and history so as to better understand her tasks. _She_ had Marby, her pillow and always caring shadow. _She_ had Morrigan to talk to about survival, strength and their next goal and what it would need, someone that _understood_ Lynn. And _she_ had Leliana who'd entertain her with songs and tales if only asked...and who was quite an enjoyable second choice when Morrigan begun to feel crowded with their long discussions.

What did _he_ have? The ever silent _Sten_? Maybe a few talks with Wynne or Leliana when Lynn didn't quickly steal their attention from him...but otherwise none but Lynn who he was stubbornly avoiding as much as possible. No...he would have to give in sooner or later, if only to avoid going crazy.

"I don't get upset, I get even." Lynn muttered, eyes closed as Leliana's fingertips moved into her shoulders in little circles.

Of course Alistair hadn't looked all that bothered by it so far, though he seemed to eye Leliana with some envy...not that Lynn could currently blame him. "That hardly sounds healthy, he's your friend after all."

"Friend is such a strong word." Lynn chuckled, oddly at ease with having a human's hands on her. Of course she realised some of it had to do with Leliana being a woman, no horrible memories there...but she also grudgingly realised it mostly had been Alistair calling her on her attitude that had somewhat cracked her. _He's too_..._disarming_..._he fools you with kindness_. "Allies doesn't need to like each other."

That was probably the _worst_ of it all. Not the lessons, not his vain attempts to garner sympathy, but the damn _kindness_! Every morning he was there, _every_, _single,_ _one_...despite clearly being strained by having to deal with her he switched shifts with Sten every night so he could be there when Lynn awoke from her nightmares. And despite his clear dislike he _always_ had a kind word ready to stop the initial panic from taking a hold of her..._always_!

She _hated_ that!

"You're too tense, calm...breathe..." Leliana stepped closer, the hands on Lynn's shoulders slipping down along her arms. "Anyone with sufficient strength can draw a bow...but _hitting_ requires focus...you think too much."

"Want me to stop thinking and focus at the same time?" Lynn chuckled awkwardly...she did not like humans...be they men or women...to embrace her like this...it was still too much. Yet Leliana had...made herself _worthy_ of that small favour, however much it made Lynn squirm.

"Hush...calm down..." Leliana whispered, a hand finding Lynn's and putting a fresh arrow between her fingers before moving it towards the bow. "Put it to the string...just right...feel it." Lynn felt like coming with a smart comment, but couldn't bring herself to it, it was too..._Alistair_. "Now...when ready...breathe and loose..."

Lynn closed her eyes, trying to find her calm and...surprisingly enough...succeeding, the thumping of Leliana's heart against her back oddly soothing. "Breathe...and loose" She repeated, feeling her shoulders slump as the tension disappeared. "Breathe...and _loose_!" Opening her eyes she took a deep breath, drew the string as far back as she could...and let go of the string.

A thump and the arrow lodged itself in the target, halfway between its edge and the bullseye.

"Very good!" Leliana jumped back and applauded, a big smile on her lips. "You'll become a master in no time!"

"I think I'll settle for capable if that's okay." Lynn smiled back. "I'm too much of a stabbing person to get really good."

"Still, see what happens when you relax?" The bard had an odd light in her eyes as she continued to smile at Lynn: "Things just solve themselves if you don't think too much about them."

Lynn nodded...then shook her head as she changed her mind. "I...no...I think I'm more of a head on type of girl."

"Oh...always tackling a problem with a straight charge?" The woman chuckled. "Sounds painful in the long run..."

Lynn shrugged and looked over towards the forest where she saw a clearly exhausted Alistair struggle out of the underbrush with a pile of cleaved logs in his arms. The man's shirt was practically transparent with sweat and he seemed ready to fall dead on his feet as he stumbled towards the fire. Yet he held his head high and kept his face as neutral as he could muster as he struggled on...too proud to admit he was close to fall dead.

Lynn smirked at the sight."Yes, for the problem."


	25. Chapter 25

Orzammar was in the mountains...and it was _cold_ in the mountains! Shivering like crazy in her armour and fervently cursing herself for not having added an extra layer of cloth under it back at camp Lynn trudged on, knowing them to be close judging by the stone bridges and the fact that the path forward was evening out.

Behind her the others moved on. To her frustration Alistair had gotten less and less bothered by their pace the further up they've gotten in the mountains. Apparently his exhaustion had had more to do with the heat than muscle-strain...and now that the cold of the mountains struck them he even seemed to be _enjoying_ himself!

Grumbling Lynn shot a look back and saw Sten uncharacteristically close, the qunari might have a face of stone, but it was clear he was eager to meet this 'Faryn' character...Lynn had already made sure to tell him that she would do the talking, no ripping arms off until she said so. Still, she'd best keep an eye on him...

Despite her breezy outfit Morrigan didn't look at the least bothered by the cold, then again the witch was _always_ pale...but her exposed skin wasn't turning blue as Lynn's, so she probably had some sort of trick working for her... Lynn suppressed the urge to ask Morrigan about it though, she couldn't become too reliant on the woman after all...her previous deal with the witch was already too much in her mind.

At least Wynne and Leliana had been sharing Lynn's discomfort with the cold. That is, until Alistair had gotten them a pair of thick blankets...their thankful words had made Lynn fume and shoot the former templar a glare that he'd easily ignored. The worst part was that she _knew_ Alistair hadn't done it to try and win them away from her in their little struggle, he had simply been nice to those suffering from the cold.

Which he'd made abundantly clear by offering her one...an offer which she of course had shrugged off with a scoff...which she now grudgingly regretted. _Damn that man_...

Squaring her shoulders Lynn increased the pace, eager to get some place warmer as she saw the clear sign of a gate in the mountain-wall. _That thing is huge_...Lynn couldn't really bring herself to get excited though, her mind feeling sluggish in the cold and largely focused on the warmth such a door signified. _Why up in the mountains_?_ Couldn't they just dig a hole in the ground like normal rodents_?

With a whine Marby pushed his nose into her flank and puffed a cloud of white breath over her. "Don't worry, a little cold won't kill me." Lynn answered, a hand coming down to iddly scratch Marby behind the ear, drawing a brief purr from the mabari. "Soon we'll be warm...and probably fighting for our lives if our luck continues." She chuckled. "Think you'd like eating dwarves?"

Marby whined loudly at that. 

"Oh don't give me that, let's hope you just need to look ferocious as we threaten them into getting a king on the throne or whatever." _Yes, no problem, just __force__ them to elect a king and __force__ him to give you his support_..._with __no__ idea how their rule works and with less than a dozen people to work with and a document that for all you know could be seen as a useless relic to them by now_. _No problem there_...Lynn managed a slightly desperate laugh at the thought, a laugh quickly turning into a cough as the cold air stung her lungs. "Oh for...I _hate_ the cold."

"Are you well?" Glancing to her left Lynn noted with some surprise that it was Morrigan asking the question.

"Why? Want to pounce on the weakened prey?" Lynn grinned at the woman smirking back. "Good luck." She shrugged. "I don't like the cold, it doesn't agree with me. It's a minor thing though, nothing that won't keep me from gutting anyone opposing us if that's what you worry about."

"Oh I have no fear of that." The witch chuckled. "Still, I cannot have our leader fall ill, here." She handed over a vial of clear yellow liquid..._warm_ liquid.

Lynn couldn't help herself: "You're giving me piss?"

Laughing Morrigan shook her head. "That sort of behaviour sounds more to Alistair's taste, no, this is merely to help with the cold."

"And what does this little aid cost me?" Lynn looked up at Morrigan with a wry smile on her face. Only to see...an odd look on the witch's face, confusion, as if the woman hadn't really thought things through, which she by all logic must have. Shrugging Lynn uncorked the little vial and poured it between her lips. _Warm_..._all over_... it was easy to smile as she tossed the empty vial aside. "See? Now ask your price." _Did I just do that_?_ Foolish_...

Morrigan seemed a little taken aback by the favour shown her, a far cry from their usual trade of information and services, even health poultices were made by a trade of minor things like necklaces and earrings that Lynn hadn't any use for anyway...yet now Lynn had basically given the witch free reign to ask anything of her. _Maker that was stupid, stupid, stupid_! Still, it had seemed...right.

Finally Morrigan snorted and looked away, her stance tense. "Just don't get sick, not making Alistair the leader due to you being indisposed is all the payment I need."

"I...sure." Lynn replied, feeling awkward all of a sudden and increasing the pace so as to create some distance between the two. _Strange woman_..._she acts as if she doesn't know what a friend is. Not that I have that many but I still_..._huh_..._maybe I could exploit this and get that trading for poultices removed? Must be clever about it though_..._wouldn't want to risk our_..._friendship_? Lynn shrugged, not liking the thought for some reason. Friendship with a human was bad enough a step for her...but to actually value it more then what she could get out of it...that was not good.

Still, suddenly not feeling at all cold Lynn could focus on the fact that they had arrived at some sort of market that had been erected outside the huge _closed_ doors. _Great, bet I have to talk my way into the place_... The market seemed to have seen better days, there was obviously no trade going on, and the stalls strewn around the open space looked more or less ready to close. All except for one held by a _human_ of all things...

Smirking Lynn sauntered over to the man, a lowly growl escaping Sten as the man followed her.

"Hello there prospective customer to Faryn's store of the best previously owned armour and arms this side of Ferelden!" The man's red hair was tousled and grimy, his clothes equally dirty, clear marks of wear on his face...he had obviously led a hard life despite the pleasant smile on his lips.

"Previously owned...?" Lynn repeated as she crossed her arms in front of her and nodded. "I'm not surprised...looters usually _do_ sell things not belonging to them."

"Hey now, no law against taking that which is found on the ground." The man named Faryn objected with raised hands. "This is an honest business and I know many appreciate the chance of buying great gear far cheaper than it would come if sold by some greedy smith."

"Whereas you're _anything_ but greedy." Lynn countered with a chuckle, making the man narrow his eyes at her in irritation. "Look, I'm sure you know why we're here."

"I have no idea, to _buy_ something I assume?" The man licked his lips and _didn't_ glance at Sten at Lynn's side...in fact the man didnt' even seem to see the giant...obviously ignoring him in order to look innocent. _Heh, impressive, sadly a bluff is of no use when the other side can see your cards_...

"Where's my sword?" Sten suddenly growled, sounding more like a mabari than a man.

"Strapped to your back my friend." Faryn replied, his smile nervous as he eyed the large qunari stepping so close he was pressing up against Lynn's back.

Keeping her arms crossed in front of her Lynn demonstratively leaned up against the qunari, not the least surprised that the giant didn't even have to shift his weight to brace against her far lighter frame leaning against him. She couldn't help but smirk at the bead of sweat suddenly running down the man's forehead. "I'd give it to him if I were you...it's not wise to upset a qunari." To her annoyance Alistair chuckled, but she ignored it and maintained her smirk.

"I...I..." The man's gaze darted between her, Sten...and then the large sword on Sten's back that seemed ready to fly into the qunari's hand and kill him at any moment. "...I dont' have it anymore, I sold it on the way here..." A growl escaped Sten. "It's the truth! I swear! I don't have it!" The man's protest was nearly a squeal.

Lynn sighed, there was no lie in the panicked words. "I see...where did you sell it and to whom?"

"Redcliffe! A dwarf named Dwynn...he collects them he said." The man licked his lips, wide eyes looking up at Sten before giving Lynn a pleading look. "That's all I know! I haven't done anything wrong so..._please_...make that thing stop..._staring_ at me..."

Lynn chuckled. "Sten, down." She shot the frightened man a sparkling smile. "Thank you, you've been quite helpful."

"S...sure."

Ignoring the man now furiously wiping his forehead with an anything but a clean cloth Lynn turned around and looked up at Sten. It was a little odd putting her hand on the giant's shoulder, considering how far up she had to reach, yet she did so none the less. "We will find it."

The purple eyes looking back at her were calm. "I believe you." That was it, nothing else was needed to be said, they exchanged a nod.

"Oh great." Alistair snorted, making Lynn grit her teeth as she realised the man was about to say something stupid. "_Now_ we can go to Redcliffe? It's so good that we finally have a _reason_. I mean it's not like we had one _before_ this." _Thank you Mr obvious_! "I think we should drop everything and run to get that sword now, _really_, it sounds like a good way to get the help of the dwarves."

"Look you whiny snot-nosed child!" Lynn hissed and pushed Sten aside so she could advance on the man that had the galls not to flinch at the look she shot him. "We are going into _Orzammar_! _Then_ we're going to that stupid Redcliffe of yours! And Sten's sword has nothing to do with that decision you bonehead!"

"_Bonehead_!? Oh how you wound me..." Alistair rolled his eyes. "Have you lost all imagination with the cold?"

"I don't need imagination to beat the crap out of you!" Lynn hissed back and advanced further, so close that she was practically standing on Alistair's feet as she glared up at him. "Now you will stop this sulking of yours or I'll take that stick up your ass and twist it until you squeal like a pig!"

"Oh, sounds fun!" Morrigan shot in, chuckling.

Ignoring the witch Alistair glared back down at her. "Oh that's real mature! Threats of violence! I guess I shouldn't be surprised! It's all you actually seem _good_ at!"

_Ouch_... Lynn suddenly shoved Alistair, making the man take a step back. "Listen you bastard! If you want to leave for Redcliffe now and sit by Eamon's side like some bloody priest that's _your_ choice! _We_ however are going to Orzammar and fix their succession mess so we can get their help! You know...what we're _supposed_ to do!"

For some reason her words made the man take another step back, his glare turning into a dark look. "I will follow you, do my duty. But I don't have to like it, nor will I stop from voicing my protests when I think you're wrong."

_Am__ I wrong_?_ I don't know_..._I can't_..._how does one even __know__ with all this_!?

"_Fine_! You do that you stubborn..." Lynn clenched her fists as her doubt-filled mind fervently searched for something new to call him. "...jackass!"

Alistair just glared back, his breathing heavy as the two refused to be the first to break eye-contact.

"Perhaps we should get going?" Wynne suddenly suggested. "The doors are right there after all..."

To Lynn's relief Alistair turned to look at the old woman. "Yes...yes let's do that." His face flushed a little as they realised they had been shouting at one another not only in front of the group, but everyone in the market...Lynn was suddenly very happy for her hair covering her ears. "If...our leader says so of course." The man grimaced, yet shot her a questioning look.

"Yes..." Lynn squared her shoulders and took a deep breath, more then eager to get going. "Yes lets do that..."

And why was Leliana _smirking_ at her!?

*

*

*

Orzammar was impressive, if a little warm. There was actual _magma_ pouring in pools and channels in the commons as they called it, the orange glow of it illuminating the high ceiling and decoration-covered walls better then any lamp.

_Why the high ceiling anyway_? _Do the dwarves feel a need for compensating or something_? Alistair chuckled, despite the memory of Morrigan saying something similar about the circle tower little more then a week ago.

He was actually surprised he _could_ be amused at the moment. Between fighting dwarven criminals...who obviously did what they could to survive in a world dominated by the high caste people suppressing them...and telling the few decent nobles obvious lies to sway their position in the assembly Alistair was anything but happy.

Grumbling Alistair pulled out his runic token from its bag and rubbed it, frowning as he watched Lynn arguing prices with some dwarf...apparently she was trying to buy a new crossbow and not liking the price one bit. _Great, a new crossbow for me_..._bet it'll be so heavy to train with that my arms will fall off_..._damn her_. Not that Alistair actually _disliked_ the idea of training with it so they could be more ready to fight the enemy...but the _way_ Lynn made him train showed that she did it more out of a wish to harm him then anything else.

"This is quite beautiful isn't it?" Looking to his right Alistair found Leliana smiling at him, the woman gesturing at the commons. "It's very impressive, no? Think of the generations it must had taken to carve it all out. Not to mention making all these beautiful carvings in the walls and pillars...I've never seen such a use of patterns...and with the lights...oh it's beautiful!" The woman clasped her hands together in glee as she craned her neck in an attempt of seeing everything around them at once.

Alistair chuckled dutifully: "It's a little warm for my taste...and why does it smell of ale?"

"Oh don't be such a bore." Leliana slapped his armoured shoulder with a smile. "You should enjoy the sight, you never know when you'll have the time for that again."

"You'll have to excuse me if I don't share your enthusiasm Alistair sighed and rubbed the back of his head, wincing slightly when his gauntlet caught a few stray hairs from his back and pulled them out. "Too busy wondering when an overzealous dwarf will try and make a citizen-arrest on us all."

"What do you mean?" Leliana asked, then a look of regret passed her face as she saw the way Alistair glared over at Lynn. "Not again..." He barely heard her mutter.

"What I mean is that we're helping a man that murdered his brothers and maybe even his father in getting the throne." Alistair hissed back, more then happy to vent. "We've lied to nobles that are actually good people! Not to mention basically torturing some poor beggars for information about the carta's location...which we slaughtered without even offering a _chance_ to surrender! All so Bhelen could _brag_ about his harsh stance on crime!"

"Uh, Alistair..."

"I mean doesn't that upset you! We're helping a bad man to get the throne!" Alistair shivered at the thought. _Cailan might not have been great but he would never do these things_..._not even I_..._no, let's not go there_. "Doesn't it bother you at the least? Leliana?"

"Uh...Alistair..._really_..." Leliana grimaced and pointed over his shoulder, making him pale. _Oh no_...

Turning he found Lynn with her fists on her hips and an angry scowl on her face. "What did I tell you I would do if you continued sulking?"

"This isn't sulking. This is me saying you've picked the wrong candidate to support." Alistair countered, fear quickly replaced by irritation as he fully turned to face the woman. "I told you I would tell you when I thought you did something wrong."

The corner of Lynn's eye twitched. "Except you're not telling _me_...you're telling _Leliana_...trying to stage a coup are you?"

"What? No! No, of course not!" Alistair snorted. "I just can't understand you! Weren't you at Tapsters when we went through what we knew?"

"Weren't _you_?" The woman hissed, head held high. "I don't _care_ about what dwarf plunks his ass on the throne! All I care about is putting one on the throne so we can get our support! It's what grey wardens do!" _And there she goes again_...Alistair scoffed. "Bhelen might be an asshole but he has a stronger position! We can more easily put him on the throne! _That's_ what's important!"

"And us putting a murderer and liar on the throne doesn't bother you?" Alistair hissed back, his neck stiff with anger.

"As if Bhelen would be the first!" Lynn shook her head. "And yes it _does_ bother me! But I _want_ my dwarven allies and I will _get_ my dwarven allies! Bhelen is then the easiest choice! With him we have a good chance of getting this done! _And_ getting it done in good time so we can help your damn Eamon!"

Alistair wasn't fooled by that argument however, it was clearly her trying to put him on the defensive. _Your twisted words have taught me well_... "Don't give me that! I know you're only interested in power! And that's why you help Bhelen! To get the power of the dwarves with as little problem as possible!"

"Yes that's exactly it!" Lynn groaned. "It's what we _need_ to do!"

"But what about honour? Conscience? The ability to _sleep_ at night!?" Alistair blinked, suddenly realising that he was shouting...and that Lynn was...hesitant. Blinking he looked at her a little more carefully. Though she held her head high and looked as angry as before...there was definitively something else in the eyes...worry, _fear_. "Lynn?"

"You're an ass..." The woman sighed and moved to pinch the bridge of her nose. "...wardens take their allies _wherever_ they can find them, remember!?" She glowered at him, but the true anger was gone, making his shoulders slump in sudden defeat. He was suddenly aware of how...tired she looked, he of course knew of her nightmares, blight-induced things that bothered her every night, and though the sleep still rested her physically it must had taken its toll mentally...and the leadership and responsibilities thrust upon her surely didn't help. "I keep trying to save us from the blight and you seem set on fighting me at every turn! I swear I could just...just..._hurt_ you!"

_She didn't even know what an ogre was a few weeks ago_..._and now she's forced to battle the entire blight. She knows even less then me of the world, she's only known the alienage and Denerim after all_... Alistair suddenly recognised the look in her eyes, despite the glare in them she mostly looked...lost, uncertain...frightened over what she was supposed to do when she barely even knew what it _was_. _And I've not made things easier_..._I am an ass_. "I'm sorry."

"Oh don't give me that you son of a...wha?" The woman blinked...then blinked again. "What did you say?"

"I'm sorry." Alistair repeated, smiling awkwardly. "I know you got a point...heck...your judgement is probably better then mine in what's needed to be done. I _really_ shouldn't put the reins in your hands and then _complain_ where you take us... and for that I'm sorry." He met her confused eyes, doing his utmost to show his sincerity...which wasn't so hard. "I _am_ sorry, I shouldn't have been so hard on you."

"You...you..." Lynn stared at him and slowly shook her head...then they narrowed as she looked down at his chest, apparently tired with looking him in the eyes. "...you're really too...too..." She grimaced. "...much of an ass."

"I am." Alistair agreed, despite sensing she had been about to say something else. "I'm sorry."

Lynn's head dropped, her shoulders suddenly slouching "I suppose you _are_ the bigger person then..." Lynn muttered, tone bitter, before turning and walking away, only barely gesturing for the others to follow.

_She looks so_..._defeated_. Alistair actually felt guilty for giving in, which was odd since he couldn't come up with a better way to handle that situation. He _had_ been sorry after all...apparently Lynn hadn't liked that either though. _Great, only bad options and I probably picked the worst_..._and at the worst moment too no doubt_. He grimaced, the guilt leaving a bad taste in his mouth.

Looking away he realised the others were staring, including the shopkeeper still holding out the sold crossbow. "What?" Taking a quick step forward Alistair tore the crossbow from the offering hands and did his best to ignore his burning cheeks. "Never seen a man screw up before?"

"Actually I see it every day ever since we've joined forces." Morrigan pointed out with a chuckle.

"Just....shut up Morrigan." Squaring his shoulders Alistair made to follow his fellow warden. _Yippee_..._this will be a nice trip_.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	26. Chapter 26

The ground was nothing but sharp rocks of blackest stones, tearing her bare feet to shreds as she ran.

She barely felt the pain though, despite her stumbling and sliding on the slick blood covering the soles of her feet she couldn't, _wouldn't_ care.

All there was left was to run, and to _live_...if only for a few more moments.

"_**I can feel you.**_" The voice was mocking, harsh...and _near_. More in her own mind than behind her.

She couldn't scream anymore, her lungs already empty and burning, there was no air...yet she ran, for there was nothing else _to_ do.

"_**I can smell you.**_" The voice chuckled, the sound drawing a breathless gasp from her as it tore at her mind.

There was no leaving the maze, no way out. Its walls were far too high to scale, far to...dangerous...too _terrifying_. "_**I can taste you.**_"

The eyeless dead lay stacked, creating the impervious walls keeping her hemmed in. They stared at her with their bleeding holes for eyes as she ran past them, if in sympathy or hunger she couldn't tell. Some of them reached out as she passed, clawed hands grasping after her, drawing blood whenever they touched her, leaving her flanks and arms covered in burning wounds. "_**You are near...oh so near.**_"

Lynn wanted nothing but to close her eyes, to not see the dead staring at her, _judging_ her. Yet if she did that she would run right into them as the maze twisted and wound...and then she would be undone. So she kept her eyes open, kept _seeing_ them...and wept.

_Lynn_...

"_**Come, let us end this.**_" She felt it, the ground trembling as the archdemon crashed through the wall behind her, sending the living dead flying like dead leaves, its malevolent eyes were focused on her though, searing into her back. She didn't dare to look back though, to look at her death.

_Lynn_!

Lynn stumbled, her concentration suddenly broken, sending her hurtling to the ground, a wordless cry escaping her as the pain of her feet suddenly registered. "_**Come to me.**_" The creature stood over her, its nearness making her skin burn and split, unable to handle the pure hatred so close to it. She screamed, hands coming up to clutch the suddenly bared muscles and tendons already breaking apart as the presence burnt her to nothing. "_**Sister.**_"

"Lynn!"

*

*

*

"For the Maker's sake! Lynn!" Lynn's eyes flew up with start, her scream muffled by a large hand clamped over her mouth. She saw a high ceiling of brown stone, ruined archways...and _him_. "By all that is holy..." Alistair muttered, his hand dropping away as her scream ebbed out. "...are you okay?"

She _wasn't_.

Sitting up Lynn did the only thing she _could_ do, burying her face in the chest of her fellow warden she let the unstoppable flood of tears come out as she whimpered, an echo of the pain in her dream still tearing at her.

_I sound so pathetic_. Neither the thought or her pride could stop her though, the crying refusing to ebb out. It just continued to flow out of her, a purging river trying to drain her of her pain and fear...without success.

Strong arms were around her shoulders now, a hand stroking her hair. "Shh...it's over now..."

"It's so close..." She whispered back, her voice so small she could barely hear it herself.

"I know, I know..." The man muttered, tone soft. He _didn't_ know, not _really_, but it was comforting to hear the words none the less. "You're safe, at camp, _safe_..."

Lynn could almost snort at the word. _Safe_?_ What's safe with such a thing so near_? "You...woke me up." It was a statement, yet a question, her overwhelmed mind struggling to find something, _anything_, to distract her.

"I...thought it best." Alistair murmured, the unspoken words hanging in the air. It had been worse then normal...and he had seen it from his vigilant watch.

"The hand...?"

He held her a little tighter, making her shoulders drop as his warmth pushed aside some of her fear. "Didn't think you'd want to wake the others up..."

"Good call..." Lynn suddenly felt her ears burn with embarrassment. _He didn't do that to preserve your authority silly_... "I mean...thank you..."

"It was nothing." Alistair's chest heaved as he took a deep breath, making her all too aware of how wet his white shirt had gotten with her tears. _I'll never live this down_...she nearly chuckled at the thought, the pain too fresh in her mind to really care.

"Y...you know what the worst thing is?" Lynn didn't understand why she'd volunteer such information, only that she _needed_ to say it, needed to get it out of her. "It...it's not the dreams I get...not only that...but what I've lost..." Thankfully Alistair didn't interrupt, the man might as well have been a statue as much as he didn't move. "I used to have these wonderful dreams. Flying...careless...it was..._wonderful_. Now they're _gone_.They'll never come back...I didn't realise how much I'd miss them." The taste in Lynn's mouth was bitter. "Now all I have is shackles, death and the lau..." She hesitated, unsure, her defences suddenly reminding her she was talking to someone...not to herself.

"You want...to talk about it?"

Lynn pulled back, a hand coming up to push..._something_ away. There was nothing there but Alistair though, the man calmly waiting for an answer as he looked at her, the sympathy in his eyes painful to watch._ I can take care of myself you bloody_..._I __can_... "Why's Oghren up?" Her gaze darted past the man, unable to meet his eyes any longer.

The dwarf was at the edge of the hill of rubble where they had made their camp. Lynn had, ever since the first night in the deep roads, taken the precaution of sleeping somewhat apart from the others. Without a tent to hide her and the dreams getting worse...she didn't dare sleeping too close. As such she now slept in a small opening between two large boulders that shielded her from the main camp...yet she could _still_ see the dwarf standing atop the rocks he and Sten had erected as an improvised bulwark, eyes focused on the road ahead.

Alistair's eyes lingered on her a little longer, a weak smile creeping itself to his lips as he understood, turning his head he looked over at the dwarf. "Oh him? He doesn't sleep all that much. He takes at least half the watches at camp and spends most of the time just staring forward...it's a _liiittle_ creepy." He managed a dutiful chuckle and shot her a look. "Almost as creepy as staring at others when they sleep..."

Lynn managed a weak smile at the joke. "Can you blame him?"

Sitting down a little more comfortable her fellow warden cocked his head to the side, somehow ignoring the wetness still covering her face and his shirt, the look on his face as if it hadn't happened. _Thank the Maker_...._for Alistair_..._I suppose_... Lynn nearly grumbled at the thought. "What do you mean?"

Lynn took a calming breath, trying to focus on something besides her own embarrassment and the fear still lingering deep in her chest. "Didn't you hear them back at the commons? He's barely a caste anymore, he's constantly drunk and despised by everyone. He's spent two _years_ doing nothing but drink and try to get people to find his wife, the wife that left him...and only _now_ does he get to go." Lynn sighed. "There's nothing left for him but what's _ahead_ of him..."

Alistair nodded, gaze dropping. "Poor man..."

_Of course __you__ say that_. Lynn swallowed, an irritating worm of guilt in her gut. _I was thinking of how easy that would make him to work with_..._sympathy was never on my mind_...._or_..._only briefly_. "I suppose..but he's got something to look forward to at least." 

"As do we." Alistair looked back at her evenly, daring her to protest, no doubt having a score of reassuring words at the ready if she tried anything.

Lynn chuckled a little at the serious look. "_Yes_, as do we." Pulling her knees up to her chin she hugged her legs. "I hope..._you_ got some sleep. I know it's been a little worse then normal but you haven't...been watching me all night have you?"

Alistair shot her a lopsided grin. "Nah, switched shifts with Leliana instead of Sten...sensed you might need being waked this night." _He's lying_. "Heh...maybe I got some potential for magic?" The man's grin turned awkward as Lynn continued to look at him...he moved a hand up to the back of his neck and scratched the thickening hair there, the smile somehow getting worse. "You know...templar...magic..._how_ is this not funny?"

_You care too much_..._don't you realise that's foolishness_?

Lynn shook herself out of the guilt about to worm itself back into her and managed a smile. "I still owe you for the lessons for reading you know."

Alistair hesitated, unsure, the memory of their fight still fresh in both their minds. Then he shrugged, the smile turning somewhat less awkward. "Well I didn't have to eat dirt so we're already kind of even..."

"No, no I insist." Lynn shook her head and sat a little straighter. "I'll..." She eyed the man's lengthening hair. "...cut that thing back to the proper length." Reaching out she pulled her pack into her lap and quickly dug into it to find her scissors. "I pay my..." She noticed Alistair's arched eyebrow. "I mean...I'd _like_ to do it...if you'll let me."

The grin of the man was _infuriating_...and sort of amusing. "Well how could I say no? I'm tired of hurting my neck whenever I'm in armour." Then he eyed the long bladed scissors now in Lynn's hands with an even more amusing look of trepidation in his eyes. "Erm...that's quite a pair...are you sure..."

"Oh shut up and turn around..." Lynn instructed with a chuckle and a slap to the back of Alistair's head as he turned around. Pulling a nearby rock a little closer she used it as an improvised chair so she could at least have his hair in level with her eyes. "I swear, you face an ogre without a backwards step but see me with a pair of scissors and you cringe? Wuss."

"The ogre isn't as intimidating." Alistair muttered, making Lynn hesitate. _There you go with the honesty again_... "Nor as vicious." He added with a nervous laugh.

Smiling Lynn dug her fingers into his hair and readied her scissors, suddenly feeling a little nervous. _Huh, it's thicker then I thought it would be_... "Telling the woman with scissors near your ears that she's vicious? Aren't you brave?"

"Yes...not getting calmer here." Alistair muttered, shifting his weight.

"Who says I'm trying to calm you?" Lynn teased and pulled her seat so close that her bare knees pushed up against Alistair's back. _Oh right_..._just got a tunic on_... She still didn't hesitate too much as she pushed her legs apart so the knees were more comfortable against Alistair's sides. It didn't matter all that much after all, Alistair kept facing forward...and Lynn seriously doubted he'd dare to glance backwards, fear of Lynn's anger and his own foolish ideas were enough of an assurance. "Now stay still, fidgeting won't help."

"Right...staying...still..." Alistair drew a nervous breath, making her smile even as she straightened out a tuft of hair on his left side and pulled it down for her scissor to cut. "H...hey...you actually seem to...erm...know what you're doing."

Chuckling Lynn decided to be generous. "I'll take that as the compliment you meant instead of the insult you spoke."

"Eh, ah...yes...thank you." Alistair muttered awkwardly, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck...only to be slapped away by a still chuckling Lynn. "How did you learn this anyway?"

"It was good way to make some extra money." Lynn answered, drawing a small laugh from the former templar. "Hey, still got the scissors mister." Lynn smiled and snipped the tool close to his eye for good measure. "But as to how...I guess my cousin taught me...Shianni's better at it than me, but then again she actually _likes_ doing it." _Not that this is all that bad_...

"Cousin?" Alistair queried. "Back home?"

"Yes, got two of them actually..." Lynn smiled, content with the memory of her practising on a nervous Soris under Shianni's teasing guidiance. "Got them into all sorts of trouble...and out of it I suppose, not that Soris would agree..." She chuckled.

"Soris and Shianni huh?" Alistair asked, making Lynn blink. _I_..._did I just_..._dammit_. "Maybe we can go see them one day? You know, time permitting."

"Maybe..." Lynn muttered, suddenly annoyed. "...though if we do I bet it's because some disaster has befallen it." She continued, voice bitter. "I doubt it though, there's nothing important for us in an _alienage_." She spat out the last word for good measure, tensing a little with irritation over her own foolishness as she snipped away more of Alistair's hair, working more on instinct than anything.

"I...maybe so...but still..." Alistair protested lamely. "Still...if we have time...it would be fun right?"

Lynn didn't answer, eyes focused on the back of the fellow warden's head as she cut his hair with gusto, set in keeping the awkward silence descending upon them.

Of course Alistair wouldn't have any of it: "You know what _I_ miss here in the deep roads?" She could practically _feel_ the smile on his face, despite him facing away. "A good piece of _cheese_, haven't had one for days."

"Cheese?" Lynn echoed, an eyebrow raised in question, still set on keeping the awkward silence going. Yet...she _had_ to ask. "Don't we _have_ cheese? I distinctly remember packing a big wheel of it before we left Orzammar."

"Erm...yes...well...not anymore..." Alistair managed a shrug. "It...disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Lynn smirked, unable to help herself. "We left Orzammar a mere three days ago..."

"Yes, well, you know...it was _round_." Alistair tried, even his _voice_ awkward. "So it's not unthinkable that it just...err..._rolled_ away...?"

"Since I broke it in two before packing it I have a hard time imagining that." Lynn replied, trying to sound neutral, and failing.

"Rolled into my stomach..." Alistair's head dropped in shame.

Unable to stop it Lynn felt the laugh bubbling out of her. "That's...wow...that's _impressive_...maybe we better stop buying it if you keep eating so much of it?"

"Maker no! Any other torture...but don't deprive me of my cheese!" Alistair protested, nearly managing to sound frightened despite his obvious amusement. Then he went for the finishing touch, slouching his shoulders he dropped his head low, nearly cutting himself on her scissor. "You evil...._evil_ woman."

Chuckling Lynn grabbed the hair at the back of his head and pulled it straight. "Yes, well, this evil woman would like to finish your hair, so stay still...silly man."

"Silly means charming right?"

"Don't push it." Lynn smirked and shot his head a playful push before turning back to his haircut.

Silence descended upon them again, but this time it was anything but awkward.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her invaluable help._


	27. Chapter 27

The mass of darkspawn surged through tunnel, a blotch of death and destruction that seemed to suck away all light offered by the glowing magma running down both sides of the corridor.

Alistair wasn't impressed.

Perhaps all that had happened had jaded him, perhaps it was the feeling of security he got from being surrounded by people he by now knew he could trust with his life...heck...even Morrigan was somewhat in that category when it came to battle, despite being a bitch.

Or perhaps it was the fact that this was the _tenth_ horde they had repulsed? _Today_.

Taking aim wasn't really necessary, loosing another bolt from his crossbow Alistair bent down to reload, not even bothering to check if the bolt was a killing or wounding hit anymore, it was more important to keep the volume of fire up as the darkspawn approached.

The last two days had been...strange. Lynn hadn't really been avoiding him, but not tried to talk to him either. At least she hadn't been arguing with him or trying to keep him isolated from the group...strangely enough he found himself _wishing_ she would do that, because at least then he would know where they stood. As it were she had at least accepted his counsel when it came to handling the growing hordes of darkspawn...shooting him odd looks as he suggested ways to handle them. If this was due to them actually having mended their difference or that he knew more of logistics and tactics then a templar should Alistair wasn't sure, and it made him nervous.

_It's nice not to charge full pelt into these hordes anymore though_... Alistair dryly noted as he got the crossbow loaded, raised it...and cleanly placed a bolt in the forehead of the first hurlock reaching the small rise the group stood on. Glancing left and right he moved to drop his crossbow as he checked that everyone was in position.

The corridor was smaller where they stood, just between two of the large pillars flanking it, that combined with the small rise due to an archway above them long ago having collapsed made for an excellent defensive position.

To Alistair's right Sten stood, nearly holding their entire flank on his own at first glance, behind him Leliana stood though, her bow-fire nearly three times as fast as the others. And even further back, nearly behind the pillar, Wynne stood, the old woman smile almost motherly despite the situation.

On their left flank Oghren held the front, the dwarf's eyes afire with barely contained berserk rage, the man already having tossed aside his crossbow in favour of the greatsword now in his hands. Behind him and closer to the centre Morrigan stood, the woman smirking as she fired bolts of lightning and dark orbs of power against the charging horde.

Lynn stood at the centre, the woman shooting him a nod as she tossed aside her bow in preparation for the close combat to come. Alistair was, as he now always was since fighting through these hordes had begun, on her right side, his shield used for her benefit as much as his. On her left Marby stayed closer, the mabari growling at the horde, ready to defend his mistress to the death.

"By your swords!" Alistair roared the order, knowing Lynn had given him permission, as she had so many times before by now. "Morrigan! Fireball!"

The witch hissed something about him 'not being the leader' but obeyed, the ball of concentrated fire arching over the heads of the darkspawn nearly upon the group.

Raising his shield to block away the worst of the blinding light Alistair heard the screeches as the charging flood was scattered in all directions by the explosion. "Hold the line!" He shot Oghren a glance, drawing an irritated grunt from the dwarf staying still. _Sorry for expecting the berserker to go berserk_... Alistair chuckled as he lowered his shield to see the enemies.

The fireball had thrown the creatures about, setting many afire and leaving half a dozen smoking corpses strew about the floor. Yet the bulk was already getting to their feet and continuing their charge, though scattered and more manageable As such a casual swipe of Lynn's sword was all it took to end the life of the first genlock reaching their line, the second falling to the axe in her hand. _Axe_?_ When did she get an axe_?

The thought was quickly forgotten though as a hurlock came at her flank, only to have Alistair's shield smash it over the head, dazing it so that at first it didn't even noticed Alistair's sword gutting it until it was on the floor and howling in pain.

It wasn't even difficult anymore. All together they could hold the line against any number of these smaller darkspawn, or so it had started to feel after these last few days.

Leaving it to his body to automatically fight the beasts mindlessly coming at them, uncaring of obviously being outmatched by the group, Alistair let his focus shift to observe the fighting.

Sten's sword was always moving, long overhand sweeps that he apparently had not trouble keeping up as he kept the horde at bay. Whenever any creature braved his scything blade the creature lost a limb or head, forcing the others back away as even their primitive minds understood the danger of the qunari. Behind him Leliana's arrows practically came within inches of hitting the giant in the back before slipping past him and killing beast after beast, taunting them into another upon another foolish attack. Wynne, almost looking bored, keeping up with firing bolts of arcane power into the darkspawn, the woman's healing powers nearly not needed at all.

At the left Oghren was holding his own with Morrigan's help. The berserker's moves were shorter than Sten's, more concentrated, hacking away at individual darkspawn like a mad butcher, leaving the dwarf soaked in gore. Behind him Morrigan kept the numbers of the darkspawn from overwhelming the brutal dwarf, her mix of cold, fire and darker spells turning rush of creatures to a trickle. _Damn her usefulness_...

The centre held equally well. Marby had begun tearing off the face of a genlock rogue that had almost managed to sneak past them, the mabari surprisingly tactical for being an animal, knowing better then to attack those foes he knew the wardens could take on and instead focusing on overwhelming those darkspawn attempting tricks on the two.

Alistair could identify him with such thinking, he too was a thinking fighter after all. The darkspawn attacking him in a frenzy found nothing but a shield to spend themselves on until he could gut them when they were good and exhausted. Those waiting too long to strike suddenly found a blade between the ribs. The ones trying to batter him aside found themselves falling upon a shield that heaved them unto their back where they were quickly finished. It was simple moves, _certainly_ not pretty...but they had an answer for every attack and left a steady pile of bodies in their wake.

_Pretty_...now if anyone could look pretty when killing Lynn was the one. Dressed in dwarven made mail of red steel it was hard to tell what was armour and what was blood in all the red she wore, though Alistair suspected a lot of the later, Oghren had jokingly described her as a 'gusher' for a reason after all. Alistair didn't know _how_ she did it, but she simply wasn't there when the blows from the charging beasts came. Despite holding her position in the ranks she somehow managed to dodge away from each swing and thrust. Her own weapons sent blood arching through the air as they spun along with her blows, making it look as if she was one of those dancing elves with red streamers in their hands.

It was..._something_...to behold...

All too soon the darkspawn lay dead, stopping Lynn's dance of death. Most of the dead were piled up on the slope leading to the group, their blood staining the stones they lay on black.

"Right, check the bodies." Lynn breathed, slightly out of breath after the fight. "And check the crossbows Sten." Morrigan and Oghren quickly moved to the orders, neither finding the work of pilfering the dead darkspawn all that disgusting, despite the blood. Oghren's reason was quite obvious, given how soaked he already was...but Alistair suspected Morrigan's reason for doing so was more sinister, _like __stealing_ _sinister_...he shot the woman a suspicious look to which the woman simply chuckled.

As Sten moved to check the crossbows, both Alistair's and his own since Lynn hadn't specified, Wynne sat down to rest, though _this_ time she didn't seem to need it all that much. "Oh and Leliana, could you check my bow? I need to wash off..." Alistair's ears peaked at that, sensing an opportunity to actually _talk_ to the woman..._I'm tired of her not talking to __me__ anyway_.

Sheathing his weapons Alistair turned to watch Lynn march back towards where they had dumped their packs, now that she wasn't spinning and weaving it was far easier to see just how soaked in blood she was...and that she indeed had a reason to wash off. _Gusher indeed_...smiling he moved to follow, pointedly ignoring Leliana's chuckle as the woman made to pick up his fellow warden's weapon.

Swallowing Alistair moved towards the large boulders that had rolled into their path from a long ago collapsed tunnel to his left. He had been debating his idea for two days now...to be honest he still didn't feel as if he had properly made up for making Lynn feel as she did with his incessant complaining, and as such he should do something more. But there was more to it...an odd urging from deep within his chest, telling him that it would be _right_ to do it.

_Not that it's making things any easier_...Alistair glumly realised, the nervousness making his gut churn and his movement slow, as if his legs didn't really want to obey him. His hand moved down to the carefully wrapped pouch in his belt, to the treasure he'd somehow kept safe during his travels.

_Get a grip, it's just a small gift, it doesn't really mean anything, or it does, but not in that way_..._or rather_..._Maker stop worrying_! He snorted at himself, but the worry wouldn't go away. _What if she gets angry again, or does_..._something else_..._I really don't want that_..._it's nothing after all_..._yeees_..._nothing at all_.

He found Lynn behind the boulder, the woman just pulling up a waterskin from her pack. They had actually found quite a few wells in the deep roads, so water wasn't scarce, as such it was no surprise when she uncorked the skin, put it over her head and poured the content over her face and let it pour down her armoured body.

Alistair opened his mouth to announce his presence...only to blank out on what he was supposed to say. _Wet_... The woman kept her eyes closed as she kept pouring the water over her forehead, her pointed ears for once visible as the water pulled her dark hair back. At her feet a pool of red water water had begun to form as the water washed away the darkspawn blood...not that Alistair paid _that_ much heed, his face growing warm at what he saw.

"Eh?" The woman cracked an eye open as the water stopped flowing, amber eye instantly finding Alistair gawking. "Oh!" She suddenly dropped the skin and took a step away, her ears going pink...which she quickly hid by pushing her hair back over them. "Didn't...hear you." She cleared her throat and looked away. "What is it?"

"I was..." Alistair muttered, still blanking out on his purpose. "...err..." _Think man, think_! "When did you get the axe?" He finally asked somewhat lamely, gesturing at the new weapon strapped to her back, not really knowing what else to say.

"This?" Lynn nodded to the weapon, seemingly back in control. "Got it a day ago from a hurlock alpha...it has longer reach then my daggers that keep breaking..."

"Isn't it heavy swinging that and the sword about?"

"Eh." The woman shrugged, then shot him a smirk. "Thinking me weak now do you?"

"No!" Alistair raised his hands in surrender instantly. "No, no...you're very strong, in many ways..." _Oh Maker, what am I saying_!?

Lynn looked back with an indecipherable look in her eyes...then a soft snort escaped her. "What do you want?" Her tone was weary, worrying him. _Maybe this is a bad time_...

_No, if you don't do it now you'll chicken out. Don't be a chicken_.... Alistair swallowed, his hand moving to open the small pouch tied to his belt. Lynn crossed her arms in front of him, a look of impatience crossing her face. _Don't be a chicken dammit_! "Well I..." _Great, you've practised the entire speech and now you've forgotten all of it in mere moments_..._nice going there_. "Heh..."

"We have work to do Alistair, or have you forgotten?" _Oh great, she's getting angry, and doesn't really want to talk to me anyway_..._yep_..._good timing there Alistair_.

"I'm getting to it!" He protested, somewhat desperately, suddenly all thumbs as he struggled to open the pouch. _Why didn't I just keep it behind my back or something? Oh but that's such a cliché, not that I_..._stop thinking dammit_! "No need to rush things..."

"Alistair..."

_Aha_! _Success_! "Well...do you know what this is?" He pulled the rose free and held it out, its petals as red and lush as when he'd first laid eyes on it.

The woman blinked at the flower held out to her, then frowned in confusion. _Uh oh_... "A rose? Where did you get one in the middle of the deep roads?"

_Whew_... "Ah...well I didn't...I found it in Lothering."

"Lothering?" The woman repeated, frowning once more. _Uh oh_... Leaning forward she poked the petals with curious eyes. "But it's still fresh and beautiful...how did you manage that?"

_Whew_... "I actually asked Morrigan for help with that."

"Morrigan?" Lynn repeated, both eyebrows shooting up. "How in Thedas did you manage to get _her_ help with that?"

Alistair grimaced, the memory of the witch testing his templar resistance to magic still fresh in his mind. "You..._reeeally_ don't want to know."

"I bet." Lynn chuckled and straightened. "So it's pretty, I'll give you that, but why are you showing it to me?"

"Well...I..."_ Maker she doesn't realise_.._.this was a bad idea, backtrack, come with an excuse, something_! He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly as he held it out towards her. "...wanted to give it to you actually."_ Oh for_..._idiot_!

"I...see..." The woman blinked, confusion written all over her face. "I guess that's kind of sweet." She took the flower from his offering hand and shot him a quirked smile, amused even. "And this is why you're so nervous I take it?"

_She doesn't like it_...Alistair's heart dropped as a rock. "Well...a little...I suppose." The smile on the woman's face was almost sympathetic, even a little condescending. _Of course it is you idiot_!_ She's probably received dozens of gifts in her life_!_ All probably better than this one_!_ Think_! "I just wanted to give it to you to show my..._appreciation_ of you...I know I haven't been all that...helpful for your situation."

"I thought we've already made peace with that?" Lynn asked, the woman still smirking a little as she moved to smell the flower. Alistair couldn't help but feel she found him nothing but amusing, like a child talking of things he didn't know. _This is not going as I wanted it_...

"We _did_..." Alistair cleared his throat, not daring to bring up the way she'd been avoiding him as of late. "...we...did."_ Maker, deliver me from this agony, just get me out of here and I'll build you a chantry_. Of course the old geezer found no reason to answer his prayer, leaving Alistair to clear his throat again and continue on his own. "Well you see...I found it in Lothering. It was growing right in the darkness of a thorn-bush...somehow surviving when all other flowers around it had withered and died, I couldn't really leave it...not to the darkspawn."

Lynn arched an eyebrow at him. "I suppose that's a nice story." _She's trying to be nice_...Alistair wasn't sure if he was supposed to be thankful or irritated with her for not caring for his gift.

Instead his mouth opted to continue talking: "I pulled it free, one of the petals actually got torn by a bush, see?" The woman glanced down at the flower, dryly noting the small tear in one of the petals with a disinterested shrug._ Dammit, stop making this harder then it already is_! "I was actually just going to keep it for myself, as a memento of...you know..." He grimaced a little, nearly welcoming the pain, _anything to battle the embarrassment_...

Lynn nodded, the woman suddenly looking pensive. "A good thought..."

"But the more we've travelled...the more it feels as if it suits..._you_ better." Alistair continued, despite the grip of fear around his heart. The woman shot him a questioning look. "I mean...you remind me of it."

"Oh?" Her face was completely neutral by now, her tone blank.

"Despite surrounded by danger, despite all other flowers withering...it grows..." Alistair mumbled, averting his gaze as he felt his face go red. "...even thrives. It has it's own thorns sure..." He chuckled awkwardly at his words. "...but it's still dwarfed by the darkness that surrounds it." He shook his head, unable to really put words to what he meant. "It doesn't care though, it grows strong, even beautiful...and even when it gets damaged as when I plucked it...that somehow just makes it more beautiful."

"Oh..."

Licking his lips Alistair stared at his feet, his heart squeezed so tightly it was a wonder he was still alive. "There is such beauty in your strength...I bet you're not even aware of it...and I wanted you to know that it gives me _hope_." He took a shuddering breath, feeling like a moron, yet he was unable to keep talking: "Not to your strength, not _just_ that...no, hope that even with all that is happening...even when darkness is all around us...there's still beauty, beauty that refuses to die, that just grows stronger with each passing day and hardship..." He took a deep breath, feeling drained all of a sudden.

The woman didn't answer, no doubt grinning at him for sounding like such an idiot.

"I just...wanted to say that...that you're very important...to _me_ that is...and just not because of what we're doing...but because of who you _are_." He _meant_ it, and it _hurt_ to admit it, made him feel vulnerable beyond words.

Looking up he found Lynn staring at him, her eyes wide, jaw open. "I..." She blinked, slowly, as if in a daze. "I..."

"You...what?" Alistair tried, hesitantly meeting her eyes, his hand itching the back of his neck so furiously it hurt.

The eyes looking back looked...confused. "I..." The woman still held the flower, right between them, as if about to give it back. _Oh no_...

Feeling the start of a tear at the corner of his eyes Alistair sighed. "I...see..." He moved to take the flower back-

"No!" The woman pulled the flower away from him, clutching it close to her chest, a strange look of panic in her eyes, looking like a cornered animal. "I..."

"So...you accept it?" Alistair tried, fresh hope flooding through his veins.

"I..." Lynn shook her head ever so little, making Alistair's heart drop once more. _This is torture! Tell me woman_! She looked down at the rose, mouth moving to say something, only for the same thing to come out once more. "I..."

"You what?" Alistair asked, standing a little straighter as he felt his embarrassment fade away to be replaced by anger. _I open my heart like this and you can't even tell me to bugger off properly_..._or_..._something_!? "You're going to yell at me? Hit me? You _what_!?"

"I..." The woman took a step back, the flower in her hands shaking. "I..."

"Yes..." Alistair took a deep breath, vainly trying to calm himself. "...you."

"I..." Lynn blinked, looked up at him....then down at the flower in her hands. "...don't know what to say."

"You've made _that_ abundantly clear."Alistair huffed, shaking his head furiously. "Maker! What was I thinking? I'm such an idiot!"

"I..."

"Yes, I get it!" Alistair groaned and pushed his armoured fingers against his forehead until it hurt...then pulled them away with a grunt. "Lets just...continue...before I make more of an ass of myself..." Squaring his shoulders he turned to walk away, head held as high as he could manage. _Yay_..._good_ _work_ _Alistair_..._disaster_...._idiot_...

"I...don't..._dislike_...it..." _Huh_?!

Blinking he turned around...only to find Lynn having already pulled her pack unto her back and rushing past her. "Did you just...?"

The woman didn't answer the half-question, instead she brushed past him, shot through the rest of the group going to get their packs and moved onwards...apparently set on scouting ahead of the group all of a sudden. And away form him and his many questions. Sighing he watched her retreat, regret tugging at him.

_Great_...

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continued help._


	28. Chapter 28

Lynn had decided to get drunk.

Leliana was pretty sure the reason was their other warden, who now at camp had for some unfathomable reason decided to do some scouting. How the armoured monster of a man was supposed to _scout_ was beyond Leliana, but then again she realised it was just an excuse to get away from the awkwardness that had descended upon the two wardens...and therefore most of the camp.

_And they were doing so well_... Sighing Leliana stuck the tip of her sword in the dying fire of the camp, making the embers glow a little stronger for a moment. Not that they needed the fire for warmth down in the deep roads, but it was good for cooking and a proper atmosphere, no matter _what_ Sten said.

The qunari stood opposite her, silently chewing on the dried beef that had turned to his staple food here in the deep roads where firewood was far more scarce. Leliana shot him a look, wondering if the man would show where he'd hidden his staple of _desserts_ any time soon...but there was no telling in the face basically looking as if it had been carved out of stone. _Oh you'll reveal it soon enough, those cookies __will__ be mine_...

Ignoring her own little game Leliana focused to the more immediate thing, that of Lynn loudly slurring as she sat opposite Oghren, a large rock between them as they took turns with a wooden cup and an assortment of jugs that by all right shouldn't fit in the dwarf's pack.

Getting to her feet Leliana crossed the distance to the little table, easily dodging Morrigan's childish attempt to trip her, an activity the witch obviously needed to keep herself sane since the cramped deep roads stopped her from keeping a 'proper' distance to the others at camp. Offering the witch a small smile Leliana gave the tired Wynne's shoulder a little squeeze before ending up by the 'table' that the elf and dwarf had set up. "I...bet thisch....isch...rum." _Wow, and Lynn is still sitting up_?

Oghren's grinning chuckle told Leliana the man too was drunk, if to a smaller extent, he was _always_ a little drunk after all. "It's still ale girlie..." He glanced over at Leliana, _well_..._parts__ of me at least_. "Hey it's the bird! Sit down! Share a drink with me and the warden!"

"Bard, not bird." Leliana corrected with a smirk, knowing she wouldn't be able to change the dwarf's ideas of her. "And what are you doing to our poor warden?"

"We drink!" Lynn answered with a jovial grin on her face and lifted the cup from the rock and raised it high...a little too high, making the woman giggle as she nearly feel off her seat...which was a bit of a feat considering she was sitting on the _ground_. "Thish...stuff...it ish great!"

Crossing her arms in front of her Leliana looked over at Oghren. "Okay...how much?"

The dwarf frowned, his face crunching up in concentration as he raised his hand to count: "Lesse here..." Two fingers shot up. "Err...half my supply...and she drank half of it...so..." Leliana raised an eyebrow as another two fingers shot up from the large hand of the man. He shot her a toothy grin. "...a lot?"

"Oghren..." Leliana groaned, the idea of a hungover Lynn leading them tomorrow, or rather, _interacting_ with them...anything but pleasant.

"What? She said she thought she could beat me in a drinking contest, what was I supposed to do!?"

"I don't know..._not_ get her drunk!?" Leliana suggested with a sigh.

"Bah! Boring surfacers!" Oghren grunted, then turned to leer at Lynn. "Besides, this one holds her liquor quite well for a little elf girl."

"Who are you calling little!?" Lynn protested with a dark look and begun to rise...only to fall back to the ground with a giggle. "Thish ish nishe stuff....good...goody...goodegoddy..." The woman murmured the last words, then giggled again, a hand coming to grab the now empty cup she'd dropped to the 'table', only to miss it with a good two feet. "Aww...."

"Right..." Leliana muttered and got down on one knee next to the elf and pushed her hands under the woman's arms. "...I think that's quite enough for you."

Giggling once more Lynn turned to face Leliana, the woman's neck flushed. "You're sooo nishe...not like Alish..." The woman's face crunched up in a frown. "...Alish....Ali." She chuckled. "He'sh...stupid...stupidhead..."

"_Suure_ he is." Leliana rolled her eyes and made to grab the woman once more. "Let me guess, he was being polite again?"

"H...he gave me a _roooshe_..." Lynn giggled uncontrollably at the word, a hand coming up to grab Leliana's shoulder to steady herself. "Silly....silly." She shook her head, a grimace on her face. "Shoo many have given...me stuff...shtupid things...shtupid _thing_..."

"If it's so stupid you wouldn't do this." Leliana noted, gesturing for Oghren to help her carrying the woman since the elf apparently was all arms and legs when drunk.

"Then he speakch...ever heard him ta...talk?" The woman asked, worming out of Oghren's grip as the dwarf tried to get her ankles. "And the thingsh he shaysh..." Lynn muttered a pout on her lips even as Leliana and Oghren finally got a hold of her and started dragging her towards her bedding. "Ne...never hea...heard such tingsh..."

"Well that's nice of him." Leliana muttered, finding it a little awkward to put the cover over the woman as she kept kicking around, as if fighting some invisible foe.

"No!" The elf pouted and shook her head angrily. "Not nische! Mean!" She got a wry look on her face and sat up to look Leliana in the eyes. "Not nische like you...very nische...how...how do you walk with thosche...thingsh...?"

"What things?"

"Thoshe!" Lynn grabbed Leliana's chest, drawing a surprised gasp from her and all too happy chuckle from Oghren. "Nische...with thosche...I wouldn't...he wouldn't...come with schtupid wordsh..." Prying Lynn's hands off her Leliana felt her mood souring a little. _Well isn't this lovely_... "No schtupid wordsh...he would be too buschy!" Lynn nodded to her own words as she dropped back into her bedding. "Shtaring...no talking...shtupid man...he wouldn't...care..." The last words came across a little too sober to Leliana's liking.

"You're a very strange woman..." Leliana sighed and moved a hand to stroke Lynn's hair back. _She's quite beautiful that way_... "Now sleep, it'll help."

"Pah...shleep isch _bad_...dan...dangeroush....without..." Lynn got a panicked look in her eyes, but it quickly died out as Leliana continued stroking the hair back. _A few pins, a freeing the neck_..."...without..." The elf sighed, eyes distant. "schtupid man..."

"Shh..." Leliana cooed. "Calm..." _Better put her to sleep_. "The sun may fall..the chant may end..." The words were soft, drawn from memory. "...the song may die and the dance may end." The elf looked up at her from heavy lidded eyes, her hands grasping the top of her blanket as she pulled it up to her chin. "But the stars will shine...the words live on..." Leliana nearly sighed at her own words. "...the song be remembered and the dance loved..." She moved her hand over Lynn's face, helping the woman close her eyes. "...for there is always another day..."

Nothing but a soft snore escaped Lynn, that and a adorable drop of drool at the corner of her lips.

Sighing Leliana rose and turned...and found Oghren look at her with the oddest of faces..."Oghren...?"

The dwarf shook his head and spat on the ground, looking grumpy all of a sudden. "Damn surfacers..." Grunting he turned and marched away back to his drinks, apparently set on finishing off the rest of his supply of ale.

Sighing Leliana realised she'd somehow hurt him...and set out to share a drink with him.


	29. Chapter 29

The air of the tunnel was warm, and not the normal warm either, but wet...as if they had crawled into the belly of some giant beast.

Suddenly feeling small Lynn glanced at the walls, just to make sure they were still there. The many pinkish sacks of flesh clinging to the brown tunnel did nothing to soothe her worry, neither did the fact that she was apparently walking on a carpet of purple flesh covered by a sheen of slime that stuck to her boots however she moved.

She wouldn't say she was afraid, she'd seen the archdemon itself not too long ago after all, and not only in her dreams. _Now that had been truly frightening_..._yet liberating, it hadn't seen us_..._it's not all powerful_. She wet her lips at the thought. _Not all powerful_..._not_.

But there was still an..._uneasy_ feeling in her stomach. _The scary dwarf woman didn't help_..._nor that whispered song_..._or the fact that we haven't seen a darkspawn for an hour yet there's a massive pull at my chest right ahead_...

Lynn didn't like the conclusion she was drawing and shot Alistair a questioning look.

Alistair was, as always, close to her right. He shot her a grim nod, the man looking tense, his sword already drawn.

She let her gaze linger a little longer, trying to judge his mind. It had been a couple of days since the whole flower..._incident_...after two days she'd let him get close again, simply because she couldn't really stand to stay away, it was just too much of an effort. Still, the man had made no comment about the..._incident_...and while Lynn _certainly_ wasn't going to do that either she couldn't help but wonder what was going on in that...very _rectangular_ skull of his.

There was no answer in his face though, somehow the man had gotten _very_ good at hiding his emotions as of late. Sure, there was a slight twitch in his eyes when she looked at him, a tendency not to look her right in the eyes, but rather to her _side_, as he talked to her...but if it was embarrassment or anger...she _really_ couldn't tell...which was..._odd_.

_Maybe I'm losing my touch_?

Ignoring the useless thoughts Lynn snorted and turned back to more immediate concerns, like the fact that her inner pull was getting so bad that she was nearly falling over...

_Maybe he's hoping it'll go away_?

She glanced over at Alistair again, finding the man stoically staring straight ahead, his mouth a thin line.

_Or maybe I really did put a stop to all that silly nonsense that his mind was cooking up_...

Grimacing Lynn turned back to scowling at the road before them, more then happy to ignore..._whatever_ she was ignoring.

_Jerk_...

Then two things happened.

First Alistair grabbed her by the neck...making her wonder if he'd somehow heard her thoughts...and flung her forward.

Second the roof collapsed.

Coughing Lynn rolled unto her back, thankful for Marby standing above her and shielding her from the the worst of the cloud of brown dust rolling over her. She quickly pushed the mabari aside though, wide eyes trying to see the cave-in still largely concealed by dust. "Alistair!? _Everyone_!? Where are you!?"

"The dwarves, _master_ architects...." Morrigan snorted, a scowl on her face as the witch casually dusted herself off and walked out from the cloud of dust.

"What are you _whining_ about? You're alive aren't you?" Oghren grumbled as he kicked aside a lump of rock the size of his head and shrugged his shoulders, dislodging a small pile of gravel from his shoulder-guards.

"Ah yes, _alive_, what else could a woman ask for in a roof?" Morrigan retorted with a sigh, the witch grabbing the purple cloth over her torso and shaking out the dust in it, much to the dwarf's obvious delight.

"Shut up!" Lynn snapped, silencing them both as she took half a step forward...only to see Alistair push himself out from a pile of rocks and dust. _Whew_... "Alistair?"

Not hearing her whispered question the man shook his head and used his sword as a support as he pushed himself to his feet. "Why am I _always_ getting things falling over me..._not_ fair."

"'Tis because you're a fool not knowing to look up." Morrigan volunteered with a sneer, her arms crossed in front of her as she scowled at the former templar.

_But he had_..._I hadn't_...

Lynn crossed the distance quickly...then saw Alistair look up at her...and went for the pile of rocks now blocking their exit. "Dammit..." Grumbling she tore at one of the rocks, eyes fixed on her hands as she tried pulling one aside, only to make another three take its place in the massive pile. "Dammit!"

"Lynn..."

"Shut it!" Lynn snapped at the other warden and tore at the three rocks, nearly crushing her hand between two of them as she loosened the third. "Dammit!" Straightening she shouted: "Sten!? Can you hear me!?"

"Yes." Came the muffled reply, calm, then added, as if an afterthought: "Everyone here is alive."

"Thank the Maker for small mercies eh?" Alistair queried with a small laugh as he stood next to Lynn, shooting her dust-covered body a worried glance before turning to the cave-in. _I'm fine you damn_...sighing she went to work at tightly wedged the rocks. "Things look quite blocked here! Could..." He moved down and slapped Lynn's hands away from a rock with a scolding look on his face, making her glare back. _What? I need to get us together again, or_..._something_! "...could you get things open from that side!?"

There was a pause from the other side, then a short: "Yes." Another pause, followed by a calm: "It will take time."

"I...think...we don't..._have_ time...." Morrigan muttered, sounding uncharacteristically worried and taking a step back towards the wardens...her hand coming up to fumble her staff free from her back.

Turning Lynn fond her eyes widen.

The..._thing_...was _huge_. It seemed to grow from the very ground itself, no legs, just a mass of fat resting atop the purple flesh that was the ground. It looked like a horrible parody of an obese woman mixed with something altogether alien...darkspawn and woman both. From its back and flanks numerous purple tentacles at least twice the length of a tall human shot up, some being as thick as tree-trunks while others were nearly as thin as serpents.

Its head was wrinkled and bald. Its face seemingly sinking into the bulging fat around its skull and cheeks, making the eyes tiny and nearly tired-looking, pained eve. And while it sported the usual toothy grin of a darkspawn...the grin looked somewhat forced, as if the creature was in pain.

_Broodmother_...

"Looks like one of my old dates." Oghren muttered and spat at the ground as he drew his greatsword and tested a flourish, apparently tackling his imminent death with bravado.

"Oh?" Morrigan quirked an eyebrow. "I suppose she took pity on you?"

Alistair's laugh was tinged with nervousness. "Hey, at least he dates _within_ his species." The witch hissed in irritation, drawing a small chuckle from him even as Lynn shot him a confused glance.

Marby just growled, the mabari's stance low.

Drawing her weapons Lynn shrugged, eyes narrowing at the creature before her. "If you three don't want to chat it up for a drink I'd suggest killing it." A crash of breaking flesh and dust and half a dozen thick tentacles exploded from the floor between them and the creature. "_Now_!"

They charged.

Two of the tentacles swept at her, one going for her head as the other curled to catch her leg. Jumping weapons first Lynn leapt in-between the two attacks, landed on her hands...and flipped back unto her feet, almost losing the weapons pressed into her palms in the process. The broodmother was suddenly far closer...and _bigger_. _How do I even_...

One of the massive tentacles on its side swooped down upon her, making her leap to her right as it gouged a hole into the floor, sending blood flying as the flesh covering the ground broke under the whipping blow.

Morrigan's blast of lighting then struck the creature right in the chest, leaving a small burn and a mere trickle of blood. It was still enough to draw a screech from it though...and with that...the thumping sound of charging darkspawn.

Lynn hadn't really been able to see much of the chamber they were in, save that it was covered in pink growths and that the only exit was blocked by the cave-in...yet now a side entrance to their left suddenly opened as some of the fleshy growths covering the walls slid aside, revealing a flood of baying darkspawn pouring at them.

_Oh no_... "Morrigan and Marby! Crowd control, you bitches!" One of the tentacles coming out of the floor nearly caught Morrigan as the muttering witch turned to obey...only to be cut off by a roaring Oghren hurling himself at the charging darkspawn horde.

The dwarf smashed into the beasts like as if launched from a catapult, instantly disappearing among the mass of darkspawn. His roar continued though, flying limbs and explosions of blood telling Lynn the dwarf was more then alive.

Turning back to the broodmother Lynn found Alistair darting left and right, making the blows descending upon him glance off his armour. She nearly cried out a warning as one of the larger tentacles, tipped with sharp bone, came horizontally towards the man...only to stop dead as Alistair met it with his shield.

With a creak of protesting metal and wood the shield began to give way under the pressure of the blow...only to stop before it could strike the man hiding behind at the sharp tip of the tentacle reaching towards his face Alistair raised his blade...and chopped the tentacle off, making dark blood pour all over the place as the broodmother pulled back with a deafening shriek, its eyes shining with a more physical pain.

Spearing the remains of the tentacle still wedged into his shield Alistair pulled it out...and sent it spinning towards the face of the broodmother, distracting it enough for him to close the final distance and begin chopping into its flesh, sending floods of dark blood and chunks of fat over the ground from wherever he struck.

Grunting Lynn leapt forward. Two tentacles swooped down on her, trying to catch her. But distracted with the now gore-covered warrior still hacking at it the broodmother's attacks were easy to dodge, letting Lynn quickly catch up with Alistair.

It _stank_.

Ignoring the stench of the creature Lynn dug her axe into it, its flesh was far from tough to pierce. It simply gave in to her blows, leaving more blood and fat to dribble out of it...and more of the stench washing over Lynn. _It's as if it's already dead_...

Spinning Lynn swept both weapons around and tore at the bottom most tier of fat of the broodmother, sending even more chunks of blood-covered fat flying all over the place.

The creature didn't seem to notice though, its tired eyes following them as its tentacles again and again crashing down towards the two wardens, forcing Lynn to roll left and right and Alistair to stumble in his attacks as the numerous blows bounced off him.

_It doesn't even care_...

Sharing a look with Alistair Lynn understood the man had realised that too, the man grimacing as chunks of fat drizzled over his raised shield. "We need a new plan Lynn!"

"There's nothing vital! There's nothing to hurt!"

There was suddenly a glint in the man's eyes, a small smirk as he glanced over at Morrigan who calmly blasted away against the darkspawn preoccupied with the dwarf and mabari tearing into them. "Lets make a hole!" With a grunt he drove a overhand slash into the beast, creating a large rip along its length.

_What is he_...shrugging Lynn ignored her puzzlement and instead moved to assist him, both wardens focusing their blows at a part of the creature, Lynn's jagged axe ripping off its skin wherever their swords had sliced it into strips. Lynn grimaced at the sight of the pale blubber so tightly packed underneath, enough to _swallow_ her if she dropped into it...yet continued her attack on the edges of the exposed insides, creating a great hole in its skin.

Then one of the broodmother's thin tentacles struck her across the abdomen, sending her flying backwards. Sliding across the slimy floor, then rolling...Lynn bit down and let herself move with the momentum until she came into a skidding stop. Now prone on the floor she looked up in time to see Alistair whirl away from a sweeping tentacle and shout out while pointing at the great hole they'd made in the broodmother's gut with his sword: "Morrigan! _Fireball_!"

A second later the hissing ball of concentrated destruction flew over Lynn, past Alistair's pointing sword...and right into the hole the two wardens had carved into it. The exposed fat gave in before the fireball, barely even slowing it down...and then there was a muffled explosion as the spell went off.

The broodmother cried out, it's torso heaving backwards and its tentacles squirming. Around its gut though...Lynn watched with horrified fascination as patches of skin begun to glow as the fat underneath caught fire...the whole body of the creature almost seemed alight, the tires of fat collapsing as it burnt away.

With a loud hiss the fire finally went out, leaving the creature before them barely half as big as before, its insides scorched away by the intense fire that had ravaged it, the pale remains of its skin sagged inwards as the somewhat unscathed torso and head leant forward, unable to stand on its own.

"Alistair!" The former templar turned to look over at her with a puzzled look on his face. "A knee!" With a cry Lynn pulled herself off the ground and leapt at him, quickly picking up speed.

The man nodded, dropped on one knee and raised his shield in front of him...just in time for Lynn to come at him at full pelt. Leaping up on the raised shield she heard the man grunt as he pushed upwards, giving her more speed as she launched herself straight at the broodmother's head.

It was taller then she'd thought though.

Roaring she stabbed her sword into the neck of the broodmother and kicked out with both legs, sending her swinging over to the beast's left and drawing a strangled grunt from the creature as Lynn's movement made her sword move with her, opening up its neck.

It was still alive though, despite everything. _Not for long_... Having landed on its shoulder Lynn heaved her axe up...and buried it into its skull.

There was no final roar, no cry of pain... The creature just looked at her, oddly..._calm_.

Then it went limp, its back snapping as its torso leant forward, sending both Lynn and the remains of the creature falling face first to the ground.

If it hadn't been for the blood and slime suddenly being smeared over her face Lynn would almost have appreciated the soft landing of falling on the flesh covering the ground.

A pair of familiar hands dropped onto her shoulders, then underneath them as they pulled her free from her leg being pinned under the broodmother she lay next to. "You really ought to stop doing that, it makes me feel inadequate." Alistair chuckled, pulling her unto her feet and handing her the weapons she'd dropped during her fall.

Sheathing the gory weapons Lynn laughed as she kept her eyes closed and moved her hands up to wipe away the worst of the filth that covered her face. "Says the man who decides to face a broodmother's blow head on..."

"It worked didn't it?" Alistair asked with a chuckle, raising his shield to reveal the huge hole smashed into it. "Though I hope we don't bump into any archers before I can get this fixed...it's sort of..._breezy_." He shot her an awkward smile.

Lynn laughed, then glanced over at the others.

_He's_..._no_...

Spitting blood Oghren tore his sword free from a final darkspawn, his blood-soaked shape standing atop a small mound of dead by now. Next to him Morrigan seemed content to roll one unto its back so she could search it for anything valuable.

Marby wasn't moving though.

The great hound lay on his side, almost looking as if he was sleeping...if it hadn't been for one of his hind legs missing and a curved blade sticking out from his chest.

"M...arby?" Lynn blinked and took a step forward, then another as the mabari didn't heed her call. "Marby!?" She ran...only to stop as she came up to the hound. "Marby...?"

"Oh...Lynn...I..." Alistair muttered, voice pained as the warrior came up behind her. Somewhere to her right she heard Oghren grumble a curse as the dwarf noticed what had happened.

The dog still had a hurlock's arm in his mouth, open eyes staring at it, as if intent on biting through it at any moment. No breath escaped him though, not even a shudder...yet even now Lynn somehow expected him to do just that, to shoot off a bark as he enjoyed Lynn's bafflement.

"Lynn are you..." Alistair placed a heavy hand on Lynn's shoulder, carefully squeezing it, voice hesitant. "...okay?"

Marby...dead. "Yeah..." Lynn shook her head. _Now I have to get another pillow for the night_....a strange laugh escaped her at the thought, the sound alien to her ears. "...y-yeah I'm fine."

"'Tis...a good death...I suppose." Morrigan offered somewhere close by, not that Lynn could really see the witch, the corners of her vision strangely blurry.

"By all..." Oghren grunted as he climbed down from his mountain of dead darkspawn. "...damn. I liked that dog."

"Lynn?" Alistair's grip shook her a little. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah..._yeah_." Lynn shrugged and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "He..._it's_ dead, nothing to do about it."

Alistair sighed, another hand descending upon Lynn's unoccupied shoulder. "He was a good mabari, there's nothing wrong if you want to..."

"It _was_ a good dog." Lynn pointed out, another odd laugh escaping her. "Not anymore..._see_?" She prodded the corpse in the head to show, making the mabari shake a little before going still again. "Back in the alienage this is just food now."

"Lynn..." 

"Oh don't worry, we don't have time for that." Another odd laugh and Lynn shrugged Alistair's hands off and moved towards the exit the now dead darkspawn had revealed. "Speaking of time, lets go."

"Shouldn't we bury him or something?" Alistair asked, the man not moving from the corpse.

Lynn laughed, unable to help herself as she turned to face him, the other two a mere blur to her eyes. "We're _underground_ silly, it's _already_ buried...besides, it's just a waste of time."

Alistair wrinkled his forehead, in concern. _Dammit, there's nothing to be concerned __about_..._it's __just__ a __dog_!_ Stop __looking__ at me like that_! "Lynn..."

"Oh, stop that." Lynn managed a trembling smile. "As I told you the first time we first met h...it; it's a _dog_."

"Lynn..."

Shaking her head Lynn squared her shoulders and whirled about. "Now lets go and get this over with, we're losing daylight." Another odd laugh bubbled out of her. "Order the others to keep digging and then catch up to me...we have work to do." Continuing on she ignored the other's looks, turned a corner...and allowed herself a solitary sniff.

_Marby_..._I'm sorry_...

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the invaluable help._


	30. Chapter 30

Branka was insane.

Lynn had instantly understood it when she saw the mad glint in the dwarf's eyes. Her explanation of how everyone in her house had been slain and why she'd allowed the broodmother to live had only confirmed it. That she had then chosen to funnel them, even Oghren who she'd barely even acknowledged, into hordes of darkspawn and horrible traps only made it all the clearer.

Still, Lynn had found some satisfaction in killing the darkspawn in their way. Though the golems were hard to defeat. She relied on vicious blows aimed at weak points in the enemy...something the golems seemed to lack, but they had still made good progress in carving a path to the Anvil of the void.

_So Branka is insane and we're being used as her puppets to get what she wants_...w_hat's new_? Snorting, Lynn kicked at the prone golem before her, making sure it was properly bashed apart. Alistair's repated blows had done good work though, breaking off a leg from the stone creature and sending it face first into the dust.

It wouldn't even matter if the woman was a talking lizard though, the dwarves _listen_ to a paragon, enough to make her vote decisive in putting Bhelen on the throne. _And then I'll have my allies_. Pushing forth Lynn shrugged aside Alistair's hand about to reach her shoulder. _Would he __stop__ that_!?_ I'm fine_!

Losing Marby was...she had to admit...a blow...but it wasn't the end of the world, it _wasn't_... And though it hurt....she had other things to focus on.

Apparently Alistair had other plans though, whenever there was the slightest of lulls in the fighting he was _there_, right next to her, trying to offer supporting hands or words. Or, in her opinion, make her cry. _Why would he __want__ to do that_!? She shot the man to her right a glare, daring him to try comforting her again, making him withdraw with the same infuriatingly confused look he'd worn for half an hour now.

Grumbling Lynn moved on, taking deep breaths as she calmed herself. The last fight had been a little much, half a dozen golems had suddenly been hurtling towards them, trying to crush the group through sheer mass. _If it hadn't been for Morrigan and her cold spell we would surely have died_... Still, Lynn couldn't help but feel that that final rush of golems had been sort of..._desperate_, a last ditch attempt to stop their progress.

Her suspicions were quickly confirmed when they turned a corner.

The tunnel suddenly opened up to a chamber of epic proportions. The distant walls were of roughly carved stone, and strongly illuminated by the light made by the magma pouring out of holes in them far below. The floor itself was a tall island of stone standing in a lake of magma, numerous blue lyrium veins sticking up from it, telling them just how deep into the earth they had travelled.

Dominating it all however, was the Anvil.

The island of stone spiralled upwards at the end of the chamber, large steps of stone heading up towards a small hill that had been carved into the rock. Glowing white archers that almost looked organic rose over the stairs leading up and the top as well...and though they were impressive they were _nothing_ compared to the Anvil itself. The construct had to be ten times the size of a regular anvil, covered in runes that blurred together into a dizzying pattern...and glowed blue with the lyrium it had been constructed in.

Lowering her weapons Lynn felt some of her irritation lift. It was..._glorious_ to behold. _I can't believe I've gotten here_..._it's_..._beyond words_. Lynn tried to fit the sight before her into her old memories, to try and understand how it had happened that _she_, someone who could barely afford meat each day...had come to see such a _glorious_ sight. She couldn't though, this was something completely different, as if she had jumped into someone else's life...she wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Now _that's_ a sight for sore eyes." Alistair muttered, the former templar also lowering his weapons as he stepped up to her right. Lynn could only nod in agreement, it _was_.

"Aye, ain't that the truth." Oghren grumbled from somewhere behind Lynn, the dwarf having stayed oddly quiet ever since finding Branka, not that Lynn could blame him...

"Now lets just hope it was worth all the effort." Morrigan grumbled as she came up on Lynn's left, though even _she_ sounded a bit in awe of what she was seeing. Once more Lynn nodded, unable to tear her eyes of it, of her _prize_.

_We're finally here_...

They walked forward, stirring up dust that had lain undisturbed for ages. Around them the broken remains of golems lay, age and wear finally having made them collapse. At places Lynn saw imprints in the dust from golem feet, where they had once stood for ages, silent guardians that only recently had been marched out to defeat the group carving their way forward.

None remained though, no golem to stop them, only the _prize_...

"**No! Don't come any closer!**" The voice was booming and echoed, as if someone was shouting from deep within a well. Dropping into a defensive stance Lynn craned her neck around to spot the new arrival...only to see it charge down from where the anvil stood. To her surprise it wasn't a dwarf...but a golem...a _huge_ golem.

It wasn't so much that the golem was larger then the others they've encountered, perhaps a little around the shoulders, but rather that the thing was made of blackened _steel_, making the entire group take pause in alarm. _How are we supposed to_..._wait_..._did that thing talk_!?

"**The anvil is not to be used! Please listen!**" The golem slid to a halt as it dropped unto the last step, coming to a stop a few feet away from them with hands raised in an oddly human gesture, urging for patience. Cocking her head to the side Lynn watched the thing with a sinking feeling. Its broad chest was of solid steel, as was the rest of it, so fighting it would be..._hard_. The head resembled a helmet. Slits where the mouth was supposed to be, dark holes where eyes were supposed to look though...yet here there was nothing of either, just a booming voice and darkness looking back at her.

"A talking golem?" Morrigan queried, sound a bit amused. "But _my_ aren't I impressed? What's next, a darkspawn tax-collector?"

Ignoring the witch's comment Lynn raisedher weapons. "Stand aside, we've come for the anvil."

"**No, please, listen to me first.**" The golem's hands sunk back to its sides. "**Even another dwarf wouldn't understand what I have to tell you, and surely a surfacer wouldn't.** **The anvil should not be used, it's a tool of evil.**"

"A tool is a tool, only _intent_ judges the morality of its use." Morrigan snorted. "And even _that_ I doubt. Evil...pfah."

Shooting the witch an irritated look Lynn turned back to the golem before her and pointedly lowered her weapons, making all but Morrigan do the same. "_Another_ dwarf? You are a golem."

"**Indeed I am, but once I was a dwarf, Caridin was my name.**"

"Caridin? As in the _paragon_ Caridin?" Oghren suddenly spoke up, the encounter jolting him out of his depression. "Shouldn't you be dead?"

"**I'm here, but in the shape of this shell of steel, if that's alive...I cannot say, it's an existence, a horrible existence.**" The golem's tone was solemn. "**Which is why I cannot allow you to use the anvil, instead I ask of you, stranger...please, destroy the Anvil and along with it the evil it's capable of.**"

"Explain." Lynn snapped, confused...and not a little irritated. _He wants me to __destroy__ it_?_ After all I've done to get here_?_ This better be good_...

"**I was the greatest smith of my time, and though I created many things, the Anvil is my true legacy.**" The golem shook his head, as if unwilling to believe it. "**But it's an evil thing, with it I can create golems yes, but each one comes with the price of a life, no forging of steel or stone can make life, so it must be **_**taken**_** from someone.**"

Lynn's mind moved quickly. "You imbued the golems with the life of another dwarf?"

"That...sounds..._bad_." Alistair quietly muttered.

"**I did. First only volunteers, those willing to undergo the torturous process of being turned into a golem for the sake of their nations. But the king wanted more...and soon the Anvil was resounding with the screams of his political enemies and the casteless as they were sacrificed for our war-machine.**" The golem sounded dejected as he added: "**When I finally protested against the barbarism that was occurring I too was put before the Anvil.**"

Lynn hesitated, leaving it to Morrigan to speak her though. "With an army of golems you surely could have beaten back the darkspawn."

"**But at what cost?**" Caridin queried. "**I cannot describe the horror of being turned into a golem for you...it is not something anyone should endure. To use it on others to fuel our war made us no better than the darkspawn we were fighting, so I hid it from my king and kin, hid it so that no more would suffer under its power.**" A deep sigh escaped the massive creature. "**But I cannot destroy it, no golem can...which is why I beg **_**you**_**, stranger, please destroy it and end this thing that should never have been made.**"

"I need Branka's support in choosing a king, and she wants the Anvil." Lynn argued, feeling a little cold, despite the heat of the chamber. _Torture_..._slavery_..._this thing makes __shackles_.

"**I am a paragon, I can support you, all I want in return is the Anvil gone.**" Caridin offered with a desperate gesture. "**Please**."

"We only need the support of _a_ paragon. Caridin or Branka, it makes no difference. Lets destroy it." Alistair muttered, a hand dropping unto Lynn's shoulder. _He's right, we don't need Branka, we could easily smash it and then leave, not having to fight that golem would be a plus too_. _Yet_...

"There's more to it then the election of a king you toad." Morrigan scoffed from Lynn's left. "This is a magnificent tool of creation! With it we could make an army you couldn't imagine...and you're willing to throw it all away? After we've come so far?" Lynn shook her head and looked down at her feet, suddenly tired beyond words. _She's right too, after all this_..._we can't simply destroy such a useful thing_..._can we_?

"Of course _you'd_ say that." Alistair retorted and pulled away from Lynn to properly gesture at Morrigan. "Didn't you hear the part where he said it's basically torture and _enslavement_? You think Lynn, an _elf_, of all people would agree to that?" _He's right_..._enslaving dwarves by turning them into golems_..._am I then no better then the human nobles that has been grinding my people under their heel for so long_?

"Some pains must be endured if one is to grow stronger." Morrigan argued, not at all dissuaded. "Which is something _you_ don't seem to understand but our _better_ warden _does_." The witch snorted. "Would you deprive the dwarves of a tool that could save them from the brink of annihilation? If some _must_ be sacrificed for the benefit of the many, then the sacrifice _should_ be made." _True, true_..._it's about survival of the many, not the pains of the few. Yet_...

"Oh? So you volunteer yourself?" _Yes, that's who you're entitled to sacrifice_..._yet_... "To force the sacrifice on someone else isn't right!" _Could I sacrifice Shianni to this thing_?_ Soris_?_ I couldn't_..._could I_? _Or if not them_..._anyone that wasn't willing to give it all for the alienage_?_ I don't have the right, yet_...

"I'm too important to be wasted like that and you know it." Morrigan scoffed. "But others who are doing nothing to help their people...why not? They _choose_ not to sacrifice themselves out of _fear_, but if they were to be sacrificed they would save their own people and all they held dear, is that not a _good_ thing?" A memory flashed before Lynn's eyes, a memory of a kneeling blood mage, her breathing heavy as she argued so vehemently... "Sometimes the sacrifice must be _forced_ upon them." _She's right_..._dammit_..._she's right_...

"So _nice_ of you! So _noble_!" Alistair snorted. "To do such a cruel thing would be _evil_! We would be no better than the _darkspawn_ we're fighting! We cannot make such a choice! Using it would turn us into monsters!"

"Then I'll _be_ that monster." Lynn mumbled, only realising she had spoken up when the two at her back went silent. Looking up she forced herself to meet the dark pits that was Caridin's eyes. "There is a blight Caridin, we _need_ the golems to fight them."

"**No, you cannot! It's a tool of evil!**" Caridin cried out, the golem crouching down in a fighting stance.

Lynn was instantly at the ready, pushing all doubt aside as she growled. "Then _I_ will bear the burden of _being_ evil! For we _need_ those golems!"

"**No! I'll kill you before you put your hands on the Anvil!**" Caridin swung at her.

Jumping away Lynn thrust out her sword on instinct, the blade harmlessly skidding off a steel wrist as the others charged the golem.

Morrigan's blast of lighting merely bounced off Caridin who continued his advance towards Lynn, making Alistair crash into its right side with a swinging shield...that already weakened by the broodmother shattered under the impact...and left nothing but a slight mark in the side of the golem that turned to swing at the former templar.

Then Oghren was there, the dwarf howling like a madman as he brought his greatsword down upon the right knee of the golem, then his flank, then a third blow straight at Caridin's arm, all three leaving deep dents in the golem's armour, but not breaking through.

Swinging back Caridin let Alistair duck away and instead swung after Oghren...and caught the dwarf by the foot.

A second later the golem was covered in bolts of power curving around his exterior, as if the entire shell had been struck by lightning. "Agh!" Oghren cried out, the dwarf turning rigid as the released energy coursed through him, the great surge of power making Lynn and Alistair both take a step back, neither about to attack such energy with anything metal.

"Morrigan! Do _something_!" The witch scoffed at Lynn's order but obeyed, a cone of icy cold streaming from her staff towards Caridin.

But where the stream had once frozen several stone golems in one breath this one merely managed to freeze his left leg, the frost just slipping off the rest of the golem for some reason. Leaping forward Lynn swung wide, smashing her axe into the frozen limb with all her might.

"**Ah!**" The surge of power ended as the booming cry escaped Caridin, the golem dropping unto his left knee as Lynn's blow crashed apart some of the plates that his leg consisted of.

Growling, Oghren pulled himself out of the grip of the golem and fell to the ground, his bristling beard nearly concealing his bared teeth. "Nug-humping son of a..." Another growl and the dwarf was on his legs, his swinging blade bouncing off Caridin's head with a loud clang.

Then Alistair was atop Caridin's back, the warden crying out as with both hands he drove his sword in between Caridin's shoulders and behind his neck. There was a screech and groan of twisting metal...and suddenly Alistair had buried the blade to the hilt in the kneeling golem.

_Wow_...

A booming howl escaped Caridin as he rose and tossed a now unarmed Alistair off his back, the former templar's blade still stuck in between his shoulders. The golem tried to reach the weapon, but found it too awkward to reach...instead he turned towards Alistair, fists clenching in rage. The man took a stumbling step back, eyes darting left and right in search of a weapon. "Um...a little help here?"

Lynn jumped forward, her axe and sword tearing into the now buckled plate covering Caridin's back, leaving deep gouges in it before she jumped away from the expected swing of the golem. Oghren was there a second later, the dwarf smashing his sword into Caridin's left shoulder before being crudely punched aside, sending the berserker flying.

Morrigan blasted Caridin again, only making him stumble as he continued to press his advantage against the unarmed Alistair...who fell unto his back as he tripped on a vein of lyrium sticking out of the ground. "Erm..._now_!?"

"Die!" Hurling herself at Caridin Lynn smashed both her weapons into his right flank, making him stumble even as she ducked under the backhand blow aimed at her head. Her second scything blows struck the golem in the leg, denting it so badly the golem begun to list. Her third-

Never came as Caridin's left fist came swinging, striking her straight in the chest and sending her flying.

A crash, a groan of twisting metal...and Lynn found herself lying against another lyrium vein, her dwarven mail armour looking oddly...deformed to her strangely dimmed vision. _That_..._can't_..._be good_...

Looking up she found Caridin having turned his full attention to her, his lumbering gait quickly crossing the distance between the two, the left fist bloodstained and ready to finish her off.

_This_..._will_ _hurt_. Lynn noted with a tired smirk, realising she was at the end. _At least it'll be quick_.

Morrigan's blast of cold did nothing but skid off the advancing golem whose swinging right fist made the surprisingly close witch duck away. Then Oghren smashed into the golem, his swinging blade digging into the golems right knee and almost completely shearing through it...Caridin stumbled, but the swing of his fist took the dwarf in the shoulder and sent him flying.

_A_..._shame_...

Then the golem stumbled again as something struck him in the back, the force enough to make the right knee finally buckle apart so that the lower leg dropped into the dirt. Somehow Caridin remained standing though, resting the broken end of his leg on the dirt as he half-turned towards the new threat...and dropped unto his back in an explosion of dust and gravel as Alistair hurled himself into Caridin's chest.

Unarmed the templar dropped unto one knee atop the chest of the golem, grabbed Caridin's head with his left hand...and begun to pound it with his gauntleted fist. "Die!" There was a loud crack as the fist crashed into the steel head. "Die!" Another crack, followed by a crashing sound. "Die!" The crack resounded across the chamber, as if the roof itself was breaking.

And then there was silence.

Alistair's chest visibly shook as he breathed in deep, his shoulders slumping as he dropped onto both knees atop the unmoving golem. His hands slid down to rest upon the chest of Caridin, to rest, the blood pouring out from the cracks in his gauntlet drawing a smear of blood along it.

"Good...boy." Lynn mumbled, watching Alistair with dimming eyes as the man remained resting atop the foe he hadn't wanted to fight in the first place. His wide shoulders were slumped, shaking with his heavy breathing. His head was bowed, in contemplation or exhaustion she couldn't tell. Despite the stricken look he seemed..._larger_ then he should be, Lynn blinked..._larger_.

Coughing she turned her head towards Morrigan that was already at Lynn's side, the witch's trembling fingers going for the satchel at her side. "Could I...trouble you...for a...health poultice?"

The witch laughed, if only a little.

*

*

*

"Are you sure?"

Lynn nearly laughed at the question, the fifth one so far. If it hadn't been for her still cracked rib she _would_ have, as it was she shot Alistair a scolding look that was somewhat ruined by her smile. "Yes, for goodness sake just take it, you're bleeding all over the place." 

Alistair, sat crouched next to her, his left hand holding hers as his right one clutched their last health poultice...which looked sort of funny to Lynn's eyes since the blood seeping out of the still gauntleted fist was now covering the poultice in red blood. "We shouldn't have let Sten carry to majority of our supply." Her fellow warden shook his head, looking tired...then narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you _sure_?"

"Yes, now _stop_ arguing and drink it, you'll black out if you keep waiting." Lynn snorted. "And I'm _not_ dragging your heavy ass back to the others."

Alistair managed a pale smile at that, his features somewhat haggard. "Your concern is noted, _really_." He looked back at the site of their battle. "It's a sight isn't it?"

Atop the chamber, bent over the Anvil, Branka was hammering away, forging the crown they would need for Bhelen. Each blow was like a bell resounding across the chamber, even _with_ the mad glint in the woman's eyes it was a sight to behold. Yet Lynn's gaze was drawn to Oghren.

The dwarf was sitting on the remains of the guardian of the Anvil, on Caridin, the warrior looking drained as he silently took swig after swig from his ale-filled waterskin...his gaze focused on his wife...who hadn't paid him but a glance since she'd arrived. He looked so..._defeated_.

_For __two__ years he's only looked __forward_..._and __this__ is what he found_..._poor man_.

"Yes...sure is."

Closing her eyes Lynn leant back against the wall Alistair had carried her to, trying to ignore the pang of her ribs that remained even after the worst of her injuries had been healed away by all their health poultices...all but _one_. _Idiot_..._at least he's not stupid enough to scold me for my choice yet_.

And for _that_ she was grateful. _I did the right thing, I __know__ it_..._but right doesn't make it __good_... She took a shuddering breath, trying not to think of how many dwarves she had doomed to a torturous end and enslavement. _I hate this_...a_nd that idiot with his stupid question isn't making things better_.

"Are you _sure_!?"

Lynn laughed, then coughed as pain shot through her chest...then continued to laugh anyway, despite her injury, despite _everything_.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her **great** help in this piece._


	31. Chapter 31

Despite having drunk another health poultice Lynn was still sore, apparently there was some injuries no number of poultices could heal.

It wasn't much of a bother, yet Wynne insisted on staying by her side, the old woman holding a palm close to Lynn's aching ribs, a thin stream of white energy flowing between them, creating a prickling sensation where her ache remained and turning it into a dull throbbing.

Lynn was actually getting a bit frustrated with the constant nearness...but accepted it, trusting the 'healer's orders' as she'd jokingly told Wynne.

_I'm too tired to argue anyway_...

Resting her head against the rock she was propped up against Lynn watched with detached calm as the others made the camp ready for 'night'. Sten had already taken up watch, chewing on the dried beef that was his dinner. Leliana was making something more edible for the rest of them, performing her own little magic...which a tired-looking Morrigan seemed to enjoy, despite the witch's attempt to look disinterested as she scooted closer to the cooking pot. Oghren was...just sitting a bit apart from the others, drinking. _Can't blame him_...

Alistair....seemed a little irritated with being unable to chop wood, instead he had merely brought some from a pile a darkspawn camp had held. But that was quickly done with and now left the former templar eyeing Lynn, apparently debating with himself if he dared disturbing her at the moment. _Here we go_..._better get this over with_. Forcing a smile Lynn waved him over.

After all the fighting they had done it was a little strange to see him out of armour. The man's white shirt was stained brown by the dust and dirt of the deep roads, his black trousers equally so...in fact he nearly looked like a beggar without his armour on. Yet he also looked much at ease without it, his smile genuine and relaxed as he sat down opposite her. "Hey, are the ribs okay?"

"Sure, they're fine." Lynn gave a tired wave, only wanting the argument over and done with.

"You have three cracked ribs and a fourth that's barely _attached_ anymore, even _with_ my healing this is taking some time." Wynne muttered, not looking away from Lynn's tunic-covered chest as she kept performing her magic. "They are _not_ 'fine'."

Smirking Lynn looked back over at Alistair and managed a shrug. "Doctors eh?"

"Doctors know _best_." Alistair replied with a nod, though the small smile on his lips ruined the scolding somewhat. "But it's good to see you're going to be okay, we're making surprisingly good time now that there are no larger groups of darkspawn in the way, we'll be back in Orzammar in no time." He grimaced at his words, just a little.

_Yep, here we go_. "Go ahead Alistair." The man shot her a curious look, making her smile. "I know what's on your mind, just say it so you can go to sleep with a good conscience."

The man hesitated, then shrugged. "You know how I feel...why bother you more with it?" _Huh_? "I don't envy you for having to make that call though, I _really_ don't." He grimaced for good measure.

"Still...it wasn't as if I was being heartless or anything..."

"I know."

"I had a valid reason..." Lynn made a furtive gesture, making Wynne hiss in irritation at her. "...we need the golems to battle the blight, the wardens take their allies where they can get them remember?"

"I remember." The man was smiling for some reason, confusing her.

"I mean...it's horrible and all...I wouldn't want to wish that fate on anyone. But we're at a war for the survival of all of Thedas for all we know, we can't have sympathy stop us."

"I realise that."

_Why is he smiling_!? "I...didn't _want_ to make that call, but it's what's good for the greater amount of people...and what's needed to stop the blight. I know it might make me a monster and all but...then I'll _be_ the monster...if that's what's required of me."

A small laugh escaped Alistair as he shook and bowed his head, when he looked back up the smile had turned to that infuriating lopsided smirk of his. "Funny how you feel the need to explain yourself all of a sudden...I thought you didn't think you needed to do that?" Lynn blinked, surprised herself. _Huh_..._back in Lothering I had_..._what has_..._eh_? The smirk faded somewhat as he spoke in a more serious tone: "I know you had your reasons, I know they're good." A small laugh escaped him. "Heh, Duncan would probably had made the _same_ choice, with the same reasons...though he wouldn't have liked it."

"I...didn't like it either." Lynn protested, confused by Alistair's understanding. _Does he __have__ to keep doing that_!?_ He thinks I did wrong, why not just say so as he promised_!?

"I _know_ you didn't." The man nodded. "You two are...quite alike in some respects." _Did you just call me alike to_..._your __mentor_!? "I mean...not _all_...obviously." He looked away, a small blush along his neck. _No, I don't want to_..._no_... "How are you feeling otherwise?" He looked back at her, a little calmer, making her breathe a sigh of relief.

"I...miss my pillow." Lynn admitted with a weak smile and leant back against the hard rock. "Thanks for convincing me to bury him when we went back by the way...it...was good." She hadn't cried, not in front of the others at least, but it had none the less felt good to properly grieve the mabari as they had lowered him into the ground. "But otherwise I'm quite okay...if a little tired...how long have we been here anyway?"

"A week? Two?" Alistair shrugged, looking a little tired himself. "It's hard to tell, I too...feel the _strain_. It'll be good to get out in the open again."

"You said it." Lynn agreed and tried a deep breath, surprised that it didn't hurt too much. "You're...okay then? No...anger? Anything?"

"I'm not happy." Alistair shrugged, offering a weak smile. "But that's not what being a warden is about, is it?"

_He_..._gets_ _it_. "Duty." Lynn offered her right hand, suddenly feeling a need for him to agree, that he understood.

The man nodded, a tight smile on his lips as his own arm shot out and grabbed hers by the forearm as he echoed her sentiment: "Duty." A quick shake...and he was moving on...until a loud cry of pleasure escaped him as he jumped close to Leliana's pot to smell at whatever was about to be served, drawing a sparkling smile from the bard.

_How does she even __do__ that_?_ I can't do that_..._well_..._not_ _that_ _nicely_...

"_That_ was your argument?" Wynne muttered as she lowered her hand, ending the prickling sensation in Lynn's side and replacing it with a dulled ache. "Our former templar seems to have lost his vigour."

"Oh give him a break." Lynn replied and leant back against her rock and closed her eyes, feeling some of the tension in her back finally disappear. "He recently fought a huge broodmother, not to mention _punching_ a golem to death...he deserves some rest."

An odd chuckle made Lynn open her eyes and look back at the old woman, a strange glint in the eyes looking back at her. "So quick to defend him all of a sudden hmm? Quite adorable." _Eh_?_ Wha_..._but I_... Before Lynn could form a proper response the mage rose to her feet. "I have done all I can for you today, sleep and a slow tomorrow is all you now require."

"Thank...you." Lynn replied, feeling flustered as Wynne quickly moved away from any proper reply to that..._insinuation_. _Bloody shem women not minding their own business, not that there __is__ any business to mind mind you, since_..._I think I confused myself_...

Frowning in thought Lynn didn't realise Oghren was standing before her until the dwarf loudly made gas._ Maker_..._how can anything smell __that__ foul __that__ fast_? Glancing up she found the man snorting as he stood in front of her, yet facing somewhat away from her, as if he just happened to stand there, just minding his own business. _Transparent_...

Ignoring the smell Lynn shot the dwarf a smile. "Hello Oghren, how are you?"

"Fine, why do you ask?" The dwarf grunted in disinterest, yet turned to face her, arms hanging limply by his sides.

"Well..." Lynn let the answer hang in the air...then shrugged and looked away to where Alistair was trying Leliana's stew with a big smile on his lips...only to pull back with a wince as he burnt himself on the nearly boiling liquid, making Lynn smile. _Moron_... "So what are you going to do now?"

"Now?" Oghren echoed, shifting his weight a little, looking uncomfortable as he thought of just what awaited him when he got back.

"Yes, you're not exactly loved over in Orzammar." A small chuckle escaped the dwarf at that, his head bowed in amused agreement. "There's a world outside Orzammar though you know, no one there hating you..."

Another chuckle. "That'll change quickly..." Oghren shot her a glance, eye nearly hidden under the bushy eyebrows. "What are you suggesting?"

Lynn shrugged, trying to look casual as she felt Oghren's full attention bear down on her. _This is so easy I almost feel guilty_..._almost_..._I'm offering him a new opportunity for a life after all_. _This is a fair trade_. It _was_, she _liked_ that. "There's a blight out there, could use a good arm...good company, good fighting, and probably some drinking too...just saying."

"Heh, good points..." Oghren grunted, a hand coming up to stroke his chin though the beard that had yet to be properly get combed after Caridin's little trick. "And I could probably add to the drinking part..." The man nodded, then shot Lynn a wry look. "I'll think about it...warden."

Lynn nodded with a smile, already knowing the dwarf would accept. It was just too good an offer. "Thank you Oghren, and if you choose to join us...thank you again."

"Right, lets not go all sappy..." Oghren grumbled, shoulders squared as he turned to march away, heading straight for Leliana's cooking pot. Lynn smiled at his hurried retreat; _finally something good out of this journey_..._I needed that_...a memory of a rose flickered before her mind, but she quickly pushed it aside.

_That was_..._disturbing_...

"So we're bringing the drunken lout?" Morrigan queried, making Lynn jump as she realised the witch had somehow come up behind her. _She_ _snuck_ _up_ _on_ _me_? _I_ _am_ _tired_... "May I ask why?"

Quickly recovering her wits Lynn managed a casual shrug. "Why not? He's good with a blade and takes a beating better than even Alistair."

"At least Alistair doesn't smell as bad...though only barely." Morrigan muttered, making Lynn chuckle. _Oh how cute, she __likes__ him_! _Well_..._comparatively_. "I sure hope you know what you're doing, bringing a man that's a berserker _and_ a drunk seems like a dangerous idea."

Lynn laughed. "At least he's easy to control, and he saved _you_ in the fight against the broodmother, even if you didn't notice." The witch snorted, but didn't protest otherwise. "Just see him as another meat-shield, it's not like you have to talk to him."

"That will be hard since he keeps...ugh..._leering_ at me." Morrigan replied with a groan.

"Doesn't that make him easy for _you_ to control as well?"

"I...suppose..."

"Then stop worrying."

"Very well...another meat-shield." Morrigan sighed. "Like Sten and Alistair...right?" The next was a question, a question laced with intention.

Squaring her shoulders Lynn refused to look back at the witch. "Right."

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	32. Chapter 32

Grumbling Lynn stared up at the white cloth that was her tent, counting the stitches along its top.

_Got my golems, check. Got my dwarven allies, check. All but Marby still with us, check. Oghren's now with us, check. Killed massive hordes of darkspawn and avoided the archdemon, check. _Lynn rolled over unto her side, glaring at the pale with cloth wall next to her. _All in all, complete success_.

Snorting she rolled onto her back once more, the stitches above her taunting her. _Then why can't I sleep_!?

Despite Alistair's muttered protest about Harrowmont's execution at Bhelen's order Lynn wasn't too bothered by it. It was politics, a necessary move of the new regent to make sure he had political security...it didn't bother her, not _too_ much...

Of course not resting her head on Marby's warm body anymore...was a little bothering, like an itch that couldn't be scratched. And having basically sentenced potentially hundreds of dwarf into a torturous end was still bothering her-despite knowing it was the right call. To have seen the archdemon...was equally if not more disturbing. It made it more _real_, more powerful...not just some _ghost_ residing in Lynn's skull. It was good to be out of the deep roads though, out in the open...but it also meant time had begun to flow again, that they were rushed, that the blight was coming...that they needed to go to Redcliffe...and whatever mess it no doubt would bring.

_It's just_..._too much_. Lynn took a deep breath, trying to relax...and failing. _I'm so tense_... There wasn't one thing, it was _all_ of it, pebble upon pebble...creating the weight of a mountain atop her shoulders._ Maker, I know I hate the dreams_..._but I need my sleep_! Groaning Lynn rolled over unto her stomach and buried her face into her pillow, and punched it for good measure. _Is some relaxation too much to ask for_?

"Fine, fine...I get it." Grumbling she pulled off her blanket and rolled onto her feet, the sudden disappearance of her warm bedding making her shiver. With a sigh she kicked up her tunic from the ground and quickly pulled it over her head. "Me wanting to sleep...what a silly thought." She scoffed and bent low to properly push out through the gap in her tent.

Outside it wasn't too cold, despite the dark night. The nearby large fire evidence of Alistair having enjoyed himself and worked out the worst of the tension he probably had gathered up as well. _Distraction_..._I want a distraction_.

Narrowing her eyes Lynn looked over at the fire and saw Leliana, the bard was softly singing to herself as she played away at her lute, over the crackle of the fire it was barely audible...but Lynn knew she could probably get the woman to raise the song high._ That_..._would help_. Lynn grimaced, the idea was sound, she _would_ enjoy it, it would even be _soothing_...but enough to stop the tension knotting up in-between her shoulder-blades? _Not a chance_...

Sten was, as always, near the fire, yet far enough from it so as to only resemble a shadow. The only one still in armour the warrior was facing away from Lynn, apparently eyeing the forest around them...and _nibbling_ on something? Shrugging Lynn discarded the thought of heading for the qunari, trying to get some amusement out of the giant could be fun...but only for a short while. _No, he's no good_.

Oghren...was laying passed out with an empty kettle the size of the dwarf's chest next to him. _Poor man_..._and won't help me_. Lynn wasn't about to make her tension worse by trying to comfort the decidedly unconscious dwarf. And there was no sign of Wynne, the old woman probably sleeping. Morrigan was by far the best option...but a glance at the place where the witch had made her nest showed no sight of Lynn's friend. _Probably shape-shifted and running out in the forest_..._she deserves the rest_..._but it doesn't help me_!

Then Lynn's gaze found Alistair, the man resting a little to the side of the camp, the axe of his resting against a dropped log. His shirt was once again wet with sweat, something he was apparently quite adept in doing, his dark trousers covered in a thin dust of wooden chips. His hands were busy uncorking a waterskin to take a well-deserved drink. _Well what do we have here_...?

Grinning Lynn took a deep breath and reached up with her hands, smoothing her hair as best she could. _Not too much though, tousled charm eh_? Reaching further down she pulled her tunic into some order...then to the side, just enough to bare a collarbone, hinting at more. _Bare legs will help too, this'll be too easy_... She felt a little nervous at her sudden plan, but the tension demanded _some_ relaxation, and this one was as good as any.

_It's just a bit of fun_..._some stress-relief, no big thing_..._just another human_..._yep_....

_Here goes nothing_...taking a deep breath Lynn brought a coy smile to her lips and took the initiative.

She had nearly forgotten how to walk in the proper enticing way, but the look on Alistair's face when he noticed her approach told her she still got it. _Got to love that nearly frightened look_...

"Ah...hey...Lynn?" The man greeted her as she closed the distance.

"Hey yourself." Lynn replied, voice hushed. Keeping her smile up she moved a hand up and placed it against her neck before slowly sliding it down towards her exposed collarbone. "How are things?"

"Wha..." The man blinked and tore his eyes off her hand and its movement. "How...oh just fine, just taking a rest...how are you? Are your ribs okay?"

lynn laughed, softly, hoping she got the tone right. "Always caring aren't you? They are quite fine, thank you...want to check?" She smiled at the question, a hand inching towards the hem of her tunic.

Swallowing Alistair stared at the hand dipping down...then further down at the bared legs. "I...um..." Blushing the man turned his face away. "...take your word for it."

"Awww, what a missed opportunity for you there." Lynn teased and took a step closer. "Though I'm generous with them today..._very_ generous."

"That's...nice of you." Alistair muttered, stoically looking away, nervous fingers drumming against his thighs. "So...could I help you with something?"

"You sure _could_...as I could _you_." Lynn replied, chuckling at the sight of the man's neck turning dark. Taking another step closer she forced the lower part of her body within Alistair's sight, making him blink, his gaze to dart away, only to quickly dart back towards her. "Tell me...back living in the chantry...how much experience did you have...with _women_?"

"Women?" Alistair's voice rose in pitch at the question, telling Lynn everything. "Well I..we had some sisters around...the revered mother a lot of the time, not much positive experience I suppose..." He drifted off, eyes fixed on the point where Lynn's legs disappeared under the hem of her tunic. "...you know..._some_."

"Tsk, tsk...that wasn't what I was asking..." Lynn teased and leant forward, both arms coming up to wrap themselves around Alistair's neck, her close precense forcing him to look up at her. The eyes staring back her were wide, frightened..._ha, you're mine templar boy_. "...and you _know_ it..._don't_ you?"

Alistair licked his lips, eyes darting down at the opening of her neckline made by her leaning forward...and licked his lips again.

Smiling softly she nudged him a little further. "I really liked that _rose_ of yours...keep it in my tent..."

"Ah...yes...you're...welcome." Alistair stuttered, a look of panic crossing his features as he remembered to look her into the eyes. _And I who barely have any chest anyway_..._oh well, when they're this innocent_...

"Want to see it?"

"T-the rose?" Alistair blinked. "I..._sure_...but..."

"Good, I keep it in my tent." Lynn firmed her grip around his neck and took a deep breath, breathing him in, and more imprtantly, letting him breathe her in. "Come...it'll be fun."

"Wha...wait..." Alistair's hands were suddenly holding her arms as he looked up at her in shock. "You...want me to go...to your _tent_?"

_A little slow on the uptake are we_? "Yes, could be fun...I feel a little..._needy_. And I _know_ how much you _love_ to care for my needs..." She licked her lips in promise, easily suppressing the irritation of Alistair not already having consented. _I don't remember it being this hard_..._and I'm not even asking for coins_...

"Lynn..."Alistair shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear a fog within it. "I...you realise I haven't..."

Lynn chuckled._ That's it_?_ And here I almost got worried_. "Quite well, don't worry though...I'm a good teacher."

"But...we haven't even..." He licked his lips in nervousness, eyes fixed on her lips that were so frighteningly close, his voice turning to a small peep. "...kissed?"

_You don't kiss the customer_...

Frowning Lynn gave him a tired look. "Who cares about that kids-stuff? I want to do some _adult_ stuff, and I want it _now_." She firmed her grip on his neck, pushing her chest just a little closer._ This is really getting uncomfortable_..._get moving you slow-poke_! "So come, we'll have some fun."

"Lynn, I..." Alistair's grip on her arms tightened as he pushed them a little back. The eyes looking up at her were pained. "We're not even officially..._anything_...and now you want to do..._this_? I mean...I don't...understand. There's quite a lot we don't know about one another...and this is a little...sudden."

_What_?_ Now you want my life's story_?_ Won't happen_. Lynn relented enough to put her hands on his shoulders, her smile still coy, despite the strain now behind it. "Alistair, we don't need to be _anything_, I want this because I want some release, nothing more. And you _want_ this...don't you?" _By the Maker, we both know it so why don't you just take the offer you numbskull_!?

"That...hurts." Alistair muttered, his hands moving to push hers off. "Look...I do...I _do_...but not like this." He shook his head, a look of regret on his face. "You're a beautiful and..._great_ woman...but..." _You can't be fucking serious_.... "...I've been raised to be a gentleman, to respect women and..._this_ stuff...it needs _more_ then what you're offering." _You_ _are_!?

Her smile dropped like an old mask as Lynn felt her patience evaporating. "You can't be...look men hav-_would_ pay to be with me! And you're saying _no_!?" She raised her voice a little, making the man grimace._ I don't care if they hear you sack of useless_..._uselessness_!

"I realise that but...I'm _not_ that kind of man..." Alistair shrugged, looking infuriatingly awkward, though the eyes were somewhat pained by now. _Is that sympathy_?_ If it is I'll fucking scratch his eyes out_! "I can't...I'm sorry..." He shot her an unsure look. "I...could...perhaps...kiss you?"

If it hadn't been for her anger Lynn would have found the question adorable. As it was she narrowed her eyes at him. "Kiss me!? You think my tension will disappear with a fucking _kiss_!?" She straightened and held out a hand towards the man. "Look, I want to get off and I'm sure you'll appreciate a good lay too, so _stop_ blabbering on about some fairy-tale concept of love eternal and come to my tent so I can _screw your brains out_!"

"Well when you say it _that_ way..." Alistair snorted and looked away, then back up at her, looking pensive. "I...realise I might have hurt you saying this...and that's the last thing I'd want. Just...I'm sorry...I can't...not like this." He didn't take the offered hand, _didn't_.

"_Hurt_ me!? Oh you'd love that wouldn't you?" Lynn snapped, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself and failing disastrously. "I'm _pissed off _because you won't help your fellow warden by doing something you _clearly_ want to do!" She punched her fists into her sides, nearly making herself grimace at the pain...instead she grimaced at the whole _situation_. "But as I said, I feel needy, so this is your _last_ chance...help a fellow warden out?"

"There are different ways of doing things." Alistair muttered, shoulders slumping. "I can't..._won't_ do this way...it's not right, not to _me_...I'm sorry."

_This is_..._I can't believe this_!

Clenching her fists so tight it hurt Lynn stared down at the man now looking at his shoes, her neck so stiff it was a wonder it didn't snap. "I...you...I could just _kill_ you...." He words came out, short and clipped, small explosions from lungs ready to burst with the words she wanted to shout at him. "You're a _very_...._frustrating_ man....and this _is_ your _last_ chance! Join me or you won't _ever_ have sex for the rest of your miserable little life!"

The man looked up at her, a sad smile on his lips as he shrugged. "I..._am_ sorry...I need more then what you offer...please don't hate me."

Lynn scoffed and raised her nose at him. "_Hate_ you? That would require _effort_." She snorted at the man's hurt look. "Fine, you blew your chance, _idiot_." Whirling about she marched back towards her tent, giving the man no chance to continue with his pathetic excuses.

_Wanting more_? _What more_? _Want me to tuck him in or something_?_ Why won't he just shut that trap for once and take instructions_!?_ I could just wring his damn neck...and he does want it_! _So what's the damn problem_!?_ I just wanted a good screw_..._wouldn't even charge him_..._ Would it be too much to ask that he'd just grin and bear it_!?_ Or perhaps even enjoy the opportunity!? But no_..._damn idiot_! _How am I supposed to get relaxed now_!?_ Damn inconsiderate_..._idiot_!

Huffing Lynn shrugged off Leliana's hand as it came towards her and stormed on. Practically diving into her tent she jumped into her bedding, pulled the blanket over her head and buried her face in the pillow. _Idiot_...

"Err...Lynn...you okay?" Leliana's whisper was barely audible over the blanket Lynn resolutely kept over her head. "I saw you storm off from talking to Alisatair not looking that please so I figured..."

"Could you convince Sten to come in here and screw me bow-legged?" Lynn growled back into the pillow, suppressing the urge to grab her nearby axe and throw it at the bard.

"Erm..._no_..."

"Then leave me alone!" Spinning as best she could in her position Lynn hurled her pillow at the face sticking into her tent, making the bard pull away with a yelp. "And mind your own business!"

To Lynn's relief the bard didn't try sticking her head back in. Her shoulders dropping she glared over at where her pillow now lay, at the far end of the tent...it might as well have been miles away.

Sighing she dropped back into her bedding, compensating as best she could without her pillow she sniffed back a tear. _Great, I needed that pillow_.

Sniffing again she pulled her legs up towards her chin and glared at the cloth of the tent before her, mentally picturing Alistair's face on it so she could glare daggers into him. _I need to sleep_..._why would you take that from me_!? _I just wanted to forget about everything, if only for a little while_..._why wouldn't you help me with that? You wanted to_!

She sniffed a third time. _Idiot_...

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her continued help._


	33. Chapter 33

Lynn had settled on not talking to him, not even _looking_ at him, not even breathing the same _air_ as him.

Grumbling she realised her shoulders was nearly reaching her ears, that her back was so tense it was acting up _and_ that she was walking so fast and stiffly that her legs had begun to ache.

_And it's all __his__fault_.

Snorting she tried to make her shoulder drop, but failed. _Nope, couldn't help me with this, could you_? _Jerk_...

Behind her Sten, Oghren and Morrigan kept up with her, Leliana and Wynne slightly further behind them, struggling a little...and far in the back _he_ continued to advance...vainly trying to look as if _he_ wasn't bothered by how angry and silent Lynn kept their march.

_And now we're going to Redcliffe for __your__ sake, yet you couldn't do that __little__ thing for me_... She snorted. _Bet it __is__ little_..._bet that's your real reason_..._jerk_...

She glared at the road, the thing of stomped earth that threw up a obscene amounts of dirt, sticking to her face, making her all the more frustrated. _Frustrated, yes, frustrated with an __idiot__ who won't do a thing men have paid for when I actually offer it for free_! _Needs __more__ then I offered_?_ What does that even __mean_!? She knew what he meant, she _did_....but she didn't want to think about it, it was a _stupid_ thought. _He got __some__ galls saying such a thing_..._damn shem_.

To her right there was a gentle slope upwards, leading to a forested top. Lynn felt a great urge to go up to the right, the hill was of green grass and wouldn't create any annoying dust...though she realised it would slow them down and grudgingly ignored the opportunity. _Bet some snake in the grass would bite through my mail anyway_..._sounds fitting_.

Snorting she kicked a nearby rock, sending it skittering away towards the great pile of boulders on the plain to their left. _Bet it contains every murderer in Ferelden, I'd actually welcome a fight after all this crap_..._preferably a fight ending with me stabbing that son of a whore in his fucking_...

A rustle.

Sten's push sent Lynn dropping to the floor, her backpack shuddering as multiple arrows thudded into it. "Get the warden!" Someone shouted from the forest, a small horde of men in leather armour appearing from the top of the hill, bows raised as they sent another volley against her.

Rolling to her left Lynn snapped the arrows stuck in her pack, then felt more thud into it and another two bounce off her armour, leaving bruises beneath it. _What_? _Me!? Great! Just_..._great_! "Get those pricks!" Lynn threw her pack away as she rolled away from another volley. "Up the hill! Get them!"

Sten, Oghren and Alistair obeyed immediately, the three warriors hurtling right up the hill, their heavy armour proof against any shot.

_Not that it matters since they're all shooting at __me_!

Jumping forward Lynn ducked and weaved, letting the wicked shots miss her as well as she could. "Give them everything you got!" With the concentration of the enemy focused on her Lynn's companions could attack away at them with impunity. A furtive glance told Lynn that Leliana's arrows had already killed three men and that Wynne's and Morrigan's spells had set part of the forest alight along with half a dozen shrieking men. And the three male warriors now having reached the edge of the forest was tearing through the enemy, gutting them in heaps.

Yet the enemy kept shooting at _her_!

Snorting Lynn decided that discretion was the better part of valour. _Let them try shooting me when I'm in cover_. _Either they pursue into the others to kill them_..._or they switch their target and let me go on the attack_. With a grunt she flew to her feet and ran right at the boulders to her left, ducking in behind the nearest one as another three arrows swept past her face.

Looking back over the boulder she saw the fight grow in intensity.

Now bereft of their target the bandits had switched to close combat weapons and surged towards Lynn's companions...and though many in numbers the bandits didn't seem all that tough individually. Even as she watched man after man fell to Leliana's arrows, piles of them forming around the three warriors at the front as the spells thrown their way tore apart leather and flesh with equal ease.

_Yet they fight on_..._it's almost as if they want to keep us_... Lynn felt an itch at the back of her neck and jumped sideways, the boulder in front of her suddenly being struck by two daggers that had been moments from stabbing into her back. _Busy_!

Whirling around she brought her quickly drawn axe around, forcing the new foe back away as she struggled to free her longer sword. She opened her mouth to shout for assistance, recognising a danger when she saw it...then the shout was turned into a grunt as she had to leap back as two thrusting daggers tried to capitalize on the advantage her foe had gotten on her.

_Screw it_.

Jumping back once more Lynn drew her sword and swept it at her foe, making him jump back once more. _Fast_. She narrowed her eyes at him, his long daggers were wicked, curved...and laced with something black... _Prepared_. The leather armour he wore resembled Leliana's, and was covered in light brown smudge, camouflaged, a little worn...and he wore it like it was nothing but cloth. _Agile_.

_And why is he __smiling_!?

Grunting Lynn parried a darting dagger aimed at her ribs with her axe, spun with the parry and brought her sword towards her foe's head...only to have him duck under the slash and stab his other dagger towards her abdomen, nearly gutting her. Instead it only left a dark stain on her armour as she succeeded in jumping back in time._ Too close_...

Strangely tanned the bared teeth of her foe shone white at her, taunting her. "Very nice..." The voice had a tone of arrogance, and a strange accent that made him sound casual, despite the situation.

"I'll show you nice you nug-humper!" Lynn hissed back, using Oghren's favourite insult as she feigned a stab with her sword at the face of her foe, making him duck his head sideways...before making him leap away as her axe nearly caught him in the knee. "Come here!"

"Such a foul mouth, my dear." The assassin chuckled. "_Very_ nice." He darted forward again, two poisoned blades nearly entering Lynn's leg and shoulder both. Ducking low she avoided the blow at her shoulder and parried the dagger thrust at her leg with the flat of her axehead as she swept her other leg around after her foe's knees.

To her surprise he jumped up, a foot actually kicking into her shoulder...and flipped away and landed on his feet some distance away from her. _That was a fancy move_..._like my moves_. Lynn growled at the realisation. _I'll turn fancy into brutal then_. "I said come here!" She leapt after him, spinning counter-clockwise and sweeping axe, then sword, at her foe, forcing him backwards with the sheer fury of the attack.

"Impressive." The man jumped back as she continued the spinning and sweeping attacks, her blades scratching off dust from the boulders surrounding them and making it fly towards the assassin's face, though it didn't seem to bother him that much. "Very..." The rest he was supposed to say was interrupted with a grunt as Lynn's missing weapons was complemented with a solid kick to the man's chest. "I..." Again he was interrupted as Lynn capitalized on her kick with a overhand slash with her sword, forcing the man to cross his daggers above his head to block the blow instead of being cleaved in two.

"Shut up!" Lynn pressed up close, smashed a knee into his foe's abdomen, knocking his breath out, then hooked her axe under his leg and pulled, making him fall unto his back. "And die!"

Her sword nearly caught the man in the chest as she pressed her advantage, but in an explosion of dust her rolled back unto his feet, _smirking_ at her! _Taunting_ her! _Oh you son of a_....

Sword, axe, sword, axe...each weapon came at the man in killing blows, making him duck back and sideways. There was no moment for him to even strike back, an attempt leading to a dagger being knocked out of his hand as her axe caught it in the cross-guard. Growling Lynn pressed on, forcing him ever backward.

_He's too focused on the weapons_. Barely finishing the thought she brought her right leg around, smashing a foot into the man's flank, making him grunt in pain. The remaining dagger nearly caught her foot, but ignoring the danger of the poisoned blade nicking her Lynn kicked her other leg out, catching the man's right knee with a loud crack.

"Ah!" The Assassin stumbled back, the smile fading as pain forced itself onto him.

"No comment?" Lynn taunted, her swinging sword tearing off the man's left shoulder-guard as her axe forced him to parry with his little dagger, making him stumble back. "Good!" She kicked her left leg out, hitting the man square in the abdomen and drawing a groan out of him as he doubled over. He quickly straightened though...just in time for her right leg to swing into his head...creating a loud crack.

The man took a stumbling step back, an oddly blank look on his face as he raised both hands...then dropped his dagger and crumpled to the ground.

Spitting at the crumpled pile of the elf she kicked his dagger away before daring a glance at the others.

They were fine, all of them now moving towards her with weapons sheathed and smiling with the afterglow of a victorious battle, Oghren already having cracked open a bottle of ale. Along the hill the grass had been flattened and bloodied by the dead bandits, enough to be a small detachment. Not that any of them had been all competent. _Thugs_...spitting once more Lynn shot Alistair a glance, making sure the idiot was alive, before turning to the only foe who had displayed any sort of skill.

"So...wake up." She prodded the man at the head, drawing a small groan from him. "I said wake _up_!" She kicked the man in the shoulder, hard.

"Ow...such cruelty..." The elf drawled, eyes opening, then screwing shut, before opening once more. "Oh...hello dirt." The man puffed a breath, sending dust flying. "Nice to see you."

Sighing Lynn tossed her sword aside and drew the dagger she kept hidden in the back of her belt. Then swung her leg over the shoulders of her foe and sat down on him, drawing a small groan from him even as she stuck her knife under his throat. "Focus, I want answers, and you will give them to me."

"Ah, yes, this is the torture part, yes?" The elf replied, sounding oddly calm. Heck...the slight throb of the artery at his throat was heavy from exertion, yet not as fast as Lynn would have expected. _No one could __possibly__ be that arrogant_..._does he __want__ me to kill him_? "Let me save you some time then, I was not paid for silence, ask me anything, and I will answer. I will even tell you things you may not ask if you allow me the pleasure."

"Right..." Lynn smirked, a little caught off guard by the quick success. "Who hired you? And how much was he paying you?"

"A rather taciturn fellow named Loghain, stared a lot into his wine, carries the world on his shoulders, I'm sure you know the type."_ I do_... Shaking her head head Lynn forced herself to continue to listen. "Oh and his friend, Rendon Howe, quite a weasel I'd say, too clever for his own good...or so was my judgement from what little interaction I had with him." The elf managed a miniscule shrug. "As to what he paid me...I received nothing, but the Antivan Crows were paid quite handsomely I believe, a warden is an expensive mark after all...they will be most upset when they have to give the money back...ah well." Another small shrug, as if daring her to slit his throat.

"Antiva?" Alistair echoed, raising an eyebrow. "What? You took a wrong turn?"

Concealing her amused snort with a glare at the former templar Lynn listened to the assassin scoff. "Yes, quite right my tall friend, wrong turn is an apt choice of words."

"And a Crow is...assassins from Antiva?" She asked, painfully aware of her lack of education of the world.

There was a slight shift in Leliana's stance, but the woman remained silent..._aha_...as the assassin replied. "Oh yes, we're quite infamous, very powerful." He chuckled. "Well...the organisation that is, not me personally...no need with the insult, I am already quite humiliated....which has a strange attraction to it too, yes?"

"Excuse me?" Lynn asked, confused.

"Well it's not every time you have a beautiful woman straddle your back with a dagger to your throat, feels like I'm home already...ahh..." The man sighed in contentment.

Arching an eyebrow Lynn chuckled. "Flattery won't get you anywhere assassin."

"But it cannot hurt, yes?" She allowed the man to turn his head and to look up at her, the strange tattoo on his face wrinkling a he shot her a wide smirk. "And how rude of me, it's quite impolite of not telling you would-be killer your name, I am Zevran, Zev to my friends."

"We are not friends." Lynn noted dryly, if a little amused. _Got backbone that's for sure_...

"Quite right, but for future reference...yes?" The smirk didn't fade, despite her digging her dagger into his throat a little, just to remind him of his place. "Or perhaps you wish to _cut_ this encounter short? I for one can keep this up for ages if you'd let me."

"Of course _you_ would." Lynn smirked back. "Not trying to talk your way out of me killing you then? Only stalling?"

"What can I say?" The man managed a small shrug. "I am a realistic optimist, and polite, it would be presumptuous of me to ask you to release me so early in our relationship."

Even as Lynn bit her lips in amusement she heard Alistair struggle to contain a somewhat upset laugh. "Would you _look_ at this guy...?" Her fellow warden mutter, to everyone and no one. "Antivans must be crazy."

"So tell me..." Lynn ignored Alistair comment. "...why aren't _you_ paid?"

"It's a complicated relationship, the assassin and his Crows." The Antivan sighed. "Am I a slave for them buying me as one? I suppose, but I do tasks for them, they get pad and in return give me quite a nice life when I'm not on missions...it's like many other jobs really, if a bit restricted in terms of freedom."

_Slave_...Lynn grimaced at the thought, but kept the look out of Zevran's line of sight as she managed a snort. "Trying to elicit sympathy out of me?"

"Another of my many weapons...and once more quite ineffective...oh well...one must try." A short laugh escaped the man, untroubled by his impending doom. "Now if you have something else you'd like to know I'd either prefer you to kill me or follow you. While having a beautiful woman atop me is nice and all the view _could_ improve."

"Follow me?" Lynn scoffed. "You tried to kill me!"

"You sound as if it would be a first time." The man asked, an ear peaking at Lynn's little laugh. "Now let me explain, for me there are really only three options after this disastrous encounter. One, you release me and send me running...and the Crows kill me for failing the mission, they have quite a rule against failing you see. One can only be happy for them that slaves are cheap enough for that rule to work." He chuckled a little at the dark humour. "Two, you kill me now, not a great option for a man so enjoying the whole breathing thing. Third, you let me join you so that the crows cannot touch me."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard..." Alistair muttered, hand on his sword, apparently ready to end the whole discussion on his own.

_I show __you__ what's stupid_.. "Really? And what would you bring to the table exactly?" The other warden's eyes nearly shot out of there sockets, making her smirk at him. _Remember little Alistair, allies where we can find them...idiot_.

"Well as you noticed I'm quite adept at fighting, not as great as your lovely skills of course." The assassin chuckled at his obvious flattery. "I know poison and locks, not to mention I know a lot of the crow's methods, if they try again I could very well save you from _quite_ a grisly end." He chuckled. "Or if you prefer I can just stand around and look pretty, I'm told I'm a very nice bed warmer as well."

"Yeah...not needed, _thanks_." Alistair sneered, anything but impressed. "Lynn, just release him or something, I'm sure he can survive on his own."

"Or finish him off." Morrigan suggested. "It would be safer." To Lynn's surprise Alistair shrugged in agreement to the witch's suggestion...though it seemed to pain him, much to Morrigan's delight.

_No_. Shaking her head Lynn pulled away the dagger for the other elf's throat. _And that won't be too bad either_..._another elf, thank the Maker_. "I _could_ use a bed warmer." She shot the gaping Alistair a bitter-sweet smile. "Plus you seem competent enough...and it's not like we've not recruited our share of nuts already." She stepped off the man, and casually kicked the nearest dagger away as he gingerly made a move to get up. "What the heck? You're in." Sheathing her dagger she offered her hand, drawing a confused scoff from her fellow warden. _That'll teach him_...

The man was on his feet as quickly as she'd suspected, all swift and lethal once again, more _because_ than despite that near devious smirk decorating his face. "How interesting..._still_ alive." He took her hand, the two squeezing each other's forearms firmly. "I hereby swear my oath of allegiance, I am your man, until you release me from it I will fight for you to my last breath." He gave the oath still wearing his smirk, yet the brown eyes of his were hard, serious. "You have my word." The seriousness in the eyes instantly disappeared as he released her arm and took a step back to look at the decidedly displeased companions at Lynn's back. Holding his arms wide he was all smiles: "And now we are all friends, yes?"

"Ah, excellent plan." Morrigan was the first to brave any potential wrath from Lynn, as she had suspected. _Thank the Maker for that one_... "Though I _would_ be more careful about where we put the cutlery from now on..."

"Yeah...now we're bringing the assassin?" Alistair asked, drawing an irritated grunt from Oghren. Shooting the dwarf a brief apologetic look Alistair continued. "Seriously...this isn't a good idea."

Smirking at Alistair Morrigan chuckled. "Oh look at that, suddenly I changed my mind...please _do_ bring him...it could be quite entertaining."

Alistair scowled at the witch. "I hate you, you should die in a fire."

"Oh what a happy family!" Zevran exclaimed, arms still wide as he grinned wickedly at the two bickering companions. "Full with such life! I already feel better about my lot in life."

Lynn laughed at the look Alistair shot Zevran, then her in turn. He was all irritated and powerless..._frustrated_.

_Wow, and now I'm already happy about my decision_...

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her help._


	34. Chapter 34

Alistair was at the head of the group, ostensibly to guide them on the right road, which was amusing since there only was _one_ road.

The man was clearly uncomfortable with the new arrival to their little band, and with good reason, the daggers returned to Zevran had still been coated in poison after all, the poison meant to end Lynn's life. But the assassin had been true to his word so far, or at least hadn't tried anything funny with her at least...well...if you didn't count talking her ear off.

Which Lynn didn't mind at the least..._especially_ since it seemed to bother _him_ so much...

Not that the others trusted the new arrival all that much either, Oghren and Wynne walking in front of Lynn was constantly throwing glances back at where she walked next to the assassin. Not too far behind her Sten was practically staring a hole into the Crow's skull, Leliana next to him a little more careful in her scrutiny. Only Morrigan at the rear didn't seem bothered, the witch had somewhat accepted the assassin and his potential uses...more due to Lynn having made the decision and Alistair's unsettledness over said decision than anything else...but still.

Lynn didn't mind their suspicions about their new companion though. In fact it made things easier since she could, ironically enough, relax more easily around him, knowing the others kept careful watch.

Of course it was a bit foolish to relax like that, but Lynn allowed herself the small favour, which was made all the easier by the easygoing charm of the man. Perhaps a bit rehearsed, something she chose to overlook, but it was a welcome casualness to all the seriousness the others brought.

So here she was, walking along a dusty road. Lake Calenhad to her left and fields of grass to her right, meaning no ambush could surprise them...and enjoying the sun while listening to the delicious accent of the man to her right, more so than to his words.

And the fact that Alistair was close enough to hear them talking, yet not close enough hear the conversation, judging by his bunched up shoulders...didn't hurt either.

Smiling, a _real_ smile, Lynn looked back at the man at her side. The tattoo over his face seemed to curl around and slither as he spoke, entrancing her...and his heavy tan was strangely exotic to Lynn whose alienage was full of the usual pale elves one saw in Ferelden. That it made his white teeth nearly dazzling as he grinned at her, which he did _constantly_, didn't hurt either.

Not to mention he was an _elf_, another elf. Which meant he was just another person in her eyes, no other distracting things, no large human bothering her with his sheer stature, nor somewhat smelly dwarf. Of course Alistair..._ugh_...had managed to convince her to look at him...and all others for that matter...as people, not humans and elves. Yet that required _effort_, she managed it sure...but with Zevran it required nothing, no effort, no forcing herself to see him as a man and not a race, nothing...

"I'm sorry, what?" Lynn forced herself to ask, realising she had completely lost track of their conversation.

Where another might be offended Zevran just chuckled, a small clucking sound at the bottom of his throat. "Oh how delightful, the warden is _enraptured_...not that I blame you, I have that affect on many women, or so I've been told."

Laughing, just enough for Alistair to hear, Lynn replied: "Oh I have no doubt..." She shot the assassin a smirk. "...that they _tell_ you this."

Again, no look of taking offence, no pained look, only a grin, a grin practically reaching one of his ears. "Oh how you wound me, milady...or is that, perchance, a _challenge_?"

Lynn laughed again, already having expected the reply, when it came down to it Zevran was...far _easier _to deal with. It was actually quite liberating.

"Oh? Was that a yes?"

Lynn's gaze darted to Alistair's disapproving back, but easily managed a smirk as she looked back at Zevran. _I don't care what he thinks_. "Fascinating, barely managed to stop me from slitting your throat and already you're trying to _bed_ me?" She raised her voice a little at the end, hoping Alistair would hear, sadly he didn't react...the former templar stoically marching on.

"There is an allure to danger yes?" Zevran shrugged, his grin somehow getting wider. "Besides, I must thank you somehow, and there are some ways that are better than others."

"_Thank me_? Well don't you hold yourself in high regard?" Lynn chuckled and raised a hand to stop the no doubt eloquent words that just seemed to come naturally to the fellow elf. _Quite different_..._better_..._yes_..._better_. "A question, if I may, how did you manage to become sold as a slave? You seem too...slippery for that."

"Slippery?" Zevran arched an eyebrow so high it was a wonder it didn't crawl up inot his blond hair. "I am known to _become_ slippery at times..." His grin turned to a coy smirk.

"Right." Lynn smirked back and reached into her pack and retrieved a small bar of gold, no bigger than her finger. "Here." She lightly tossed the thing over the head of the assassin...

Who deftly caught it, a strange frown suddenly creasing his features as he stared down at the little thing she'd found the bottom of a broken barrel and hadn't had the heart to sell for the measly silver offered. "It's...quite beautiful in its simplicity...but why?"

Lynn shrugged and looked right ahead, eyes boring into Alistair's back. "Loghain didn't pay you to keep quiet right? So I'll pay you to talk...I'm nothing if not a good employer."

"Not to mention far easier on the eyes." Zevran complimented, the words spilling out of him automatically, making Lynn chuckle. "If you must know I volunteered to be sold."

"What?!" Lynn flinched and looked over at him, staring at her fellow elf as if he'd suddenly sprouted a third arm. "Why in the blazes would you do that!?"

"I am the son of a whore." Zevran noticed Lynn's frown and obviously misjudged it for something else as he hurriedly added: "An _actual_ whore, my dear. She was a sweet woman though, don't think otherwise, for the short time I knew her at least." _Oh_...Lynn looked away, suddenly disturbed. _This is a little too close to hom_e... "Ah, but fighting for the customers isn't smart yes? Not smart at all."

_Far__ too close to home_..."No, no it isn't..." She glanced at the man. "I'm sorry...I _am_."

The man blinked, taken by surprise by her honest admission, far from the polite veneer many would used, bereft of any _real_ sympathy. _When did I get so_..._open_? It was a frightening question.

"Oh it wasn't so bad." Zevran shrugged and looked away, a small smile reappearing on his lips, apparently he couldn't do without it. "The other whores took care of me and the other children...we had fun actually, it's easy to enjoy the small things when it's all you have yes?"

_Yes, I know, __far__ too well_. "So...you sold yourself into slavery...why exactly?"

"Stupidity, I suppose." Zevran shrugged, a look of disinterest on his face, a look Lynn didn't trust in the least. "When a boy grows older he eats much, becomes a liability to our little group." He shot her a smirk. "And male whores, however pretty, are not in high enough demand for an establishment like ours. So I figured I'd make them a final little profit, clear my debts, yes?"

"Yes..." Lynn nodded, struggling to look neutral at the words. "...and the Crows then simply bought you? Just like that? Weren't you just skin and bones?" _Not that I would know if you would_...

"Indeed I _was_, very observant dear warden." He shot her an indecipherable look. "But buy a bunch of slaves and run them ragged..." He shrugged, the smirk on his face growing back. "...and some survive long enough to learn."

"I suppose that would work." Lynn remarked and looked away. It was logical, smart in a way..._if it only hadn't been children_....the grimace came, uninvited. "Though...children...can't agree to that."

"Oh? And here I heard the great warden was a ruthless elf vixen...and you love _children_? How curious..." The brown eyes glittered with amusement, yet bore into her with far more interest than that of idle curiosity. _He's very much like me, must remember that_... Despite the realisation Lynn felt very much unarmed when the man continued to prod. "I hardly think this comes from your life as a warden, yes?"

_Damn Alistair_..._he's crippled me_..._I barely remember how to defend myself from this_! Unable to face the curious look Lynn glanced down at her hands, checking her mailed gauntlets for dust...and quickly changed the subject: "About that, why did your men only attack me? Alistair's a warden too."

"True." The man nodded, dropping his own questions, much to her relief. "But I thought with the distraction of my helping hands I could take you first...and then bide my time until later for our cheese-sniffing friend."

Lynn giggled at the thought. _I wouldn't put it past him_..._maybe Zevran actually saw it_...

"I actually saw him doing just that last night at camp, is he always like that?" Lynn struggled to contain her chuckle at the mental image as Zevran shrugged. "Fereldians are so strange..." A short glance at her and he continued: "And besides, what I've heard so far told me _you_ were more the source of danger to my former employer than that friend of yours...this is a correct assumption, yes?"

Lynn chuckled. "I'm a bit troublesome yes."

"Good, I _like_ trouble." Zevran leered at her. _Huh_..._it's surprisingly_..._not__ that offensive when he does it_. She glanced over at where Alistair was trudging on, the man obviously struggling not to glance back at them, making her grin. _In fact I kind of __like__ it_...

"Good." Lynn replied, a hand coming up to push some hair back out of her face. "Because you'll soon get it...I attract it like no one else ever since I was made a warden...it's a bit annoying to tell the truth."

"Well I suppose attractive must have _some_ downsides." Zevran dryly noted, smirk casually aimed her way. "I quite enjoy a little blood-letting, and am quite sure you do as well..." He shot her an appreciative grin, making her return it in kind. _I do_..._true_. "Nothing quite like it to get the blood pumping eh?"

"There are _many_ ways to get the blood pumping..." Lynn chuckled softly, winking at the man.

"Oh _really_?" Zevran's grin widened. "So it _was_ a yes? So interesting..."

"You're quite arrogant aren't you?" Lynn remarked with a smirk, a hand coming up to Zevran's shoulder, squeezing it carefully. "Please stay that way...and we'll..." She glanced over at Alistair and raised her voice. "..._see_." There was a visible twitch in the warden's shoulders as he heard some of what they were saying, no doubt enough to realise what they were talking about. _Good_. Smiling at the fellow elf she let her hand trail off as she slowed down and moved back towards the end of the group.

Ignoring Sten's steady look...and Leliana's somewhat irritated one, obviously remembering when Lynn had done a similar thing to her...Lynn came up next to Morrigan. Smiling at the witch she spoke: "So...comment?"

"May I express my heartfelt admiration for how you manage to torture your fellow warden?" Morrigan chuckled. _Well_..._I_... "Quite ingenious really, wicked even for my tastes, I approve."

Squaring her shoulders Lynn shook her head, annoyed all of a sudden. "That wasn't what I meant, I meant the recruitment of our little assassin."

"Oh, him?" Morrigan scoffed. "Seems a bit on the untrustworthy side...but then again you already seem to be wrapping him around your little finger...I suppose that will make him all the easier to use when needed?" Lynn nodded, then saw the slight smirk in Morrigan's lips as the witch continued: "Just like with Alistair...though I hope you intend to reel that problem in before he becomes more than a nuisance."

"I...yes...you're _mocking_ me." Lynn noted with some surprise. "I'll remember that next time you want a closely guarded book." She shot the witch a wink, regaining her confidence quickly. The two had...somehow...gotten over the whole trading and struggling game...though it was still fun to play it at times. "Speaking of which, have you increased your power with it? I'd hate to have wasted effort to help you become useful." She shot the witch a smirk.

"Useful eh?" Morrigan scoffed, then a strange look appeared on her face, almost as if she was disturbed by something. "I am...unsure...it's not a spellbook...yet I feel that it's useful...I need a bit more time...just a little..."

"A slow reader are you?" Lynn mocked with a grin, then felt it fade as she all too well remembered her many lessons, lessons that had turned her into quite the capable reader. _Alistair_..._damn_ _him_!

Morrigan didn't seem to notice, the witch laughing. "Oh how you wound me!" Smirking she eyed the back of the now whistling Zevran. "Oh and if you _do_ lay that man...have him leave his daggers behind, I'd hate to have all my hard work be undone by your libido."

"First thing on my to-do list I assure you." Lynn chuckled, eyeing the daggers strapped to Zevran's lithe form. _He's right_..._danger __is__ alluring_. Shrugging aside the thought Lynn looked over at the distant Oghren. "I see you haven't turned our resident dwarf into a toad yet, despite his wandering eyes...his magic resistance too difficult for you eh?"

"Of course not." Morrigan scoffed at the thought. "But as you said, he's easy enough to control...even if I barely need to do that so far, he's mostly too drunk to even see me anyway."

"He's lost a lot." Lynn noted grimly, then remembered who she was talking to. "I mean...it's not odd that he drinks, he has nothing left."

"'Tis a weak man." Morrigan scoffed again. "If he was you or I we would move to change our situation, not blindly hope for someone to change it _for_ us."

"That's why I lead." Lynn remarked, then shot Morrigan a smirk at the annoyed look she was receiving. "_And_ you lead yourself, don't worry, won't ask for more now all of a sudden."

"I'm not worried." Morrigan shook her head in irritation and looked away. "But...thank you."

"It's what friends are for."

"I..." The witch hesitated. "...thank you." She shot Lynn an irritated frown. "Are you mocking _me_ now?"

"Wouldn't dare." Lynn answered truthfully, then smiled. "The irritation is just a bonus."

"Ha!" Morrigan turned her head away, shaking it furiously. "You...will regret that." The tone shifted, from amused to...almost solemn.

"Excuse me?"

The witch didn't answer, leaving them to an awkward silence as Lynn looked at her friend in worry.

_What's suddenly eating __her__ up_...?

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her aid._


	35. Chapter 35

Once more not having been able to sleep, troubled by her thoughts, Lynn crawled out of bed and checked the camp.

Leliana was gone, as was Wynne, both probably asleep in their tents. Morrigan was nowhere to be seen either, the witch probably having shape-shifted and run off. Lynn frowned at that. _She's been doing that a lot as of late_..._I'd better try and help her soon, can't have the resident mage of destruction acting oddly now can we_? She smiled at the thought, knowing it was just an excuse. _Anyway, I should help her_.

Focusing on those that _were_ around Lynn wasn't surprised to find Sten a little further off, the qunari doing a circulatory patrol of the camp, as he had been doing more and more as they approached Redcliffe. _Agitated are we_? Lynn couldn't blame him though, and decided to leave the qunari to his restlessness.

Oghren was at least up...though 'up' was quite a generous description. Sitting on a knocked over barrel that had sunk into the mud, Oghren was leaning against his own tent, an empty mug in one hand as the other rested on a standing barrel. How he didn't fall over in the rickety position was impossible to tell...especially since he didn't seem to pay it any attention, head thrown backwards, eyes on the dark sky above her.

"Feeling better?" Lynn asked, trying to sound casual as she stopped by the obviously drunk dwarf.

"It's...large." Oghren muttered, the cup dropping from numb fingers. "And yes, haven't fallen up yet have I?" He shot her a glance from behind the bushy beard of his, then turned his eyes back to the stars above. "Sodding high roof..."

"That wasn't what I meant." Lynn replied, shifting a little in irritation. _I just want to sleep_..._why did I decide to do this now_? "I meant with Branka and all..." 

"_Of course _you do." Oghren chuckled drunkenly. "The oh so caring warden trying to raise the morale of her troops, eh?"

"Alistair's the caring one, not I." Lynn protested dryly, shooting a glance over to where the other warden was sitting on a rock, back turned away from her.

"Oh _really_? Then why do you ask me how I'm doing?" Oghren queried, shooting her an amused snort. "Sodding surfacer...too bloody sensitive you lot."

_Me_? _Sensitive_? Scoffing Lynn shrugged. "Oh well, I tried, I guess you can stay miserable and drunk if that's your fancy..." There was a grunt of irritation from the dwarf at that, but she ignored it as she eyed Alistair's tense back further away. _Sensitive_...? "I guess you and Sten would make good friends, you can stay silent and grumpy together."

"Oh, I see..." The dwarf chuckled and sat up a little straighter, pointing an accusing finger at her, which sort of missed its mark since his gaze was listing a little to her left. "Using reversed ps...ps....thinking on me eh? Not going to work!" He eyed the distant warrior making his long patrol around the camp. "Though I've always wondered how much ale a qunari could drink..."

"Good luck, never seen that man touch a drop of alcohol so far." Lynn chuckled. "Though if you _do_ succeed I want to watch...maybe enough of it would even make him _smile_?"

"Heh, that _would_ be a sight." Oghren agreed. "Right, I'll get right on that...as soon as...the room..." He looked around himself, frowning in confusion. "...stops spinning."

A small thud and the dwarf fell backwards, knocking his own tent over in the process. Not that the man cared, already snoring as he fell...and completely limp as he lay atop the white cloth, arms and legs splayed wide. Lynn leaned over him, frowning in concern, despite having seen the dwarf drunkenly fall over a dozen times already.

His eyes were still open, seemingly glaring at the stars above him, his mouth moving ever so slightly, as if chewing on something...other than that he was completely unmoving, dead to the world, eyes not even seeing the hand Lynn waved in front of him. _How can he sleep like that and still_..._cry_? Lynn watched, oddly detached, as a single tear pushed itself out of the corner of the dwarf's eye. _Poor_ _bastard_.

Sighing Lynn pulled back, wondering if the berserker wasn't a lost cause. _As long as he doesn't fail us_...suppressing the guilt at the thought wasn't easy, but she succeeded by turning her attention to her fellow warden instead.

Alistair was still facing away from her, dressed in his normal shirt and trousers, still on his rock...and his right hand was rhythmically moving back and forth in front of him by the looks of it._ Funny, almost looks like he's_...Lynn smirked at the idea...but then went serious as she considered her options.

She _could_ just ignore Alistair's sulking...Zevran was some distance to her left after all, the man softly whistling to himself as he lay on his back staring up at the sky...Lynn was more then sure that she could distract herself with the man until Alistair calmed down..._if_ he did.

_No, not an option_.

Lynn grimaced. She owed Alistair better than to just ignore him until he stopped being angry with her. He'd been nice to her, _too_ nice. Every night he had been there to stop her panic as she awoke from her nightmares, he'd helped her to read properly...supported her whenever she had needed it. Not to mention the dozen of times he'd actually saved her life during their fighting.

He _did_ deserve more then her just ignoring him.

_I should be the bigger person this time_...She took a deep breath, feeling butterflies in her stomach all of a sudden.

_Come on, do it_. There was nothing to be nervous about, it was just setting things right, a small apology to make everything better. After all...she wasn't really angry with him, in fact it _had_ been kind of sweet if one thought about it... Not that that had anything to do with her will to make amends of course, it was simply for the best, if she didn't they would keep that awkward silence and annoying silent fight again...and she didn't _want_ that. She wanted them to be friend...ly, and she couldn't well expect him to always be the one to cave. Not to mention that she really didn't want him to apologise like he did before, no...she _really_ didn't want that.

_Okay, no problem, just do it_.

Another deep breath and she was off, suddenly very much aware that she wore the same tunic she'd worn when last time confronting the man. _Maybe I should have changed first_?

It was too late though, the slight stiffening of Alistair's shoulders and the way he suddenly raised his head telling Lynn he'd heard her approach. He didn't look back at her though, his head dropping back down as he continued with...carving wood? Arching an eyebrow Lynn slowed her approach to a stop as she came up to stand by Alistair's right shoulder, watching his little knife swiftly carve away at the small lump in his hands...a lump of vaguely human shape already.

She bit her lower lip and waited, knowing fully well Alistair was aware of her standing there.

There was no word though, no greeting, nothing.

"I...eh..." Lynn begun, a hand coming up to rub her left elbow. "...didn't knew you could carve." _Jeez_..._could I sound any meeker_?

There was a brief pause in Alistair's movements, his face moving a fraction of an inch towards her...then dropped back to look at his work as he begun carving again. "There's a lot you don't know about me..." The tone was bitter and distant both, as much an accusation as a regret.

"I...suppose so." Lynn muttered, feeling very small. "So...soon at Redcliffe huh? Looking forward to it?"

A non-committal grunt, then a shrug. "Not really, my father in all but blood might be dead, remember?"

"Ah...eh...yes." Lynn felt her ears warm up. "Of course, it must be kind of...scary to come back...not knowing what awaits. I didn't...think about that." _The last shred of his family_...there it was, _guilt_...she _hated_ guilt.

"No, you didn't. Because it doesn't matter, we must go there, it's our _duty_." Alistair snorted at the end and suddenly moved, throwing the little figurine into the forest. _Why isn't he looking at me_? Lynn swallowed. _Why am I nervous_? "And that's all there is to you, isn't it? Duty and what simple pleasures there's to be..._nothing_ else."

Lynn couldn't help it, she snorted. "Hey, I'm not insulting _you_ am I?"

"Aren't you?"

Lynn blinked. "Excuse me?" _Did I miss something_?

"You bring the assassin...he might be useful...I get it." Alistair spoke, voice clipped. "But you made damn sure I heard you..._damn_ sure." His shoulders shook all of a sudden, as if he was about to cry...then he grunted and tossed away the knife still in his hands, sending it hurtling into the forest before him. "So I guess that's it then? You don't get your little playtime and everything we've done and experienced means _nothing_? Your toy isn't playing along so you pick up a new one?"

"I..." Lynn hesitated, mind blank. _He can't be_..._why_..._I_.... The stunned silence drew on, making her ears burn. _He can't be_..._what does he __want__ from me_!? Her shoulders dropped as she looked away, unable to look at the back of the man any longer. "Maker...why must you make things so _complicated_?"

"And why do you have to make things so _simple_?" The man retorted, making her look back at him in time to see him turn to look at her. His gaze was...strangely level, dreadfully calm despite the obvious tension in his body. "There is more to life then the simple things, scary yes, but that's no reason to shy away." The calm eyes softened, just a little, as he reached out towards her face...

_No_.

Lynn pulled back, as if stung, despite the hand not even having been close to reach her.

Alistair's hand sunk back to the ground as he looked at her, the soft look instantly replaced by that dreadful calm again. "I...see...guess you're not fearless after all?" He laughed a little and turned away, shoulders slumping as the tension in them disappeared. "Go away...please."

"There's nothing to be fearless _about_." Lynn scoffed, sudden anger surging through her, purging away the numbness that had befallen her. "Look at me!" She kicked the man in the lower back, eliciting a slight grunt from him. He only turned to look at her slowly though, sad eyes looking straight at her..._through_ her. It was as if the archdemon itself was looking at her, and she was naked before those eyes. "You...damn..." She looked away, unable to meet Alistair's gaze for but a moment. "You know nothing of me! Go...screw yourself! I...leave me be!"

"Then go." Alistair shrugged and turned back to stare into the forest, already deep in thought. "I need time alone anyway." _That son of a_..._bastard_!

"I...fine! I'll go, I'll go and have my _simple_ pleasures while you sit around daydreaming of something that doesn't _exist_!" She hissed the last words as she leant forward, wanting nothing but to bite at the ear suddenly so close to her. "And it'll feel _good_...and you will be the fool, as _always_!"

There was a slight pause in Alistair, as if the man was considering her words. "Very well."

He shrugged, just shrugged! Wide-eyed Lynn took a stumbling step back, confusion racking her brain. _He doesn't_..._care_? _But I thought_..._or is he just trying to trick me_?_ That_..._damn him_!

"I..._fine_." Twirling around Lynn squared her shoulders. _He won't get to me, that bastard won't get to me_. Her eyes found Zevran, the assassin still whistling softly as he lay in the grass, content and..._unproblematic_. _He won't, damn him_..._he won't_! Nearly growling like an animal she strode away, refusing to even glance back at the fool templar at her back.

"Ah, my dear warden? Come to enjoy the fine evening with me?" Zevran queried as she came closer, not even looking at her as he continued to gaze at the stars, a small smirk on his lips. "It's quite a beautiful night."

_Okay, calm_..._calm_. Taking a deep breath Lynn managed to force her shaking away, to smoothen her voice. "Yes it is...cool too...almost cold."

"I'm not surprised." Zevran replied and looked over at her, leering as his gaze roved over her bare legs. "Tsk, tsk my warden, you look so cold in that...though it suits you..._very_ sexy."

Lynn managed a coy smile, despite everything, despite _him_. "My tent is warm enough...there I don't even need the tunic."

"That is quite an image you're painting." The assassin chuckled, hands behind his head as he continued to look over at her, eyes roving over her body, darting to her face at times, reading it like a book. She looked away, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. "Now, how may I help you warden?"

Stepping closer Lynn forced him to see her body, to hide her face behind it like a wall. "You may help me...in many ways." He could probably see up her tunic by now, she didn't care. "Zev."

"Zev is it?" The man was on his feet, close, _dangerously_ close, grinning wolfishly as he met her eyes...then thankfully lowered his eyes to stare down at her body. Something in the gaze...Lynn felt herself shudder and embraced the sudden arousal, the feeling of it, the _simplicity_. _ Damn Alistair and his words_. "So...dear warden...what may...Zev...do for you?"

"You _know_." Lynn answered, feeling a little out of breath all of a sudden.

"I _do_..." The assassin smirked. "...but I'd like to hear it none the less."

"I want a good lay." Lynn muttered, suddenly feeling dirty, and _not_ in a good way. She ignored it though, embracing the struggling arousal as much as possible. "I want you to come to my tent and spend _hours_ with me..._strenuous_ hours." That felt a little better, as if the dice had been cast, there was no going back on such words, not for her, not now. Inching closer she breathed against Zevran's neck as hand came up to press against his warm chest. "_Now_."

"Your desire is my command." The man chuckled, one of his hands coming up to trail up her side, tickling the suddenly sensitive skin. "Please, after you, my dear."

Lynn managed a weak shake of her head though. "Three rules."

"Oh..._rules_." Zevran muttered, sounding amused. "What happens if I break one I wonder...?"

"No kisses."

"Except upon the skin I assume." Zevran smirked, not at all offended. _Good_.

"No daggers with you."

"Aw..." Zevran groaned with amusement. "...very well...I am nothing but good at following instructions." _Excellent_.

"When we're finished you leave." Lynn wouldn't glance back at _him_, _wouldn't_. "I want to sleep _safely_."

"I can live with that, I shall be gone the moment you feel you are done with me." Zevran chuckled. _Perfect_.

"Then come with me." She grabbed the assassin's hand, the force of the grip drawing a small wince from him. Ignoring it she turned around and pulled him with her. _Towards my tent, because that's where we're going_. As they marched onwards she dared a glance over at Alistair...and found his back still turned towards her, ignoring them. _We're going_.

He didn't react.

Growling Lynn practically shoved Zevran into her tent and shot a final glare at Alistair's unresponsive back...then dove into her tent where Zevran was already mostly naked, his clothes crumpled on the ground. The man was all lithe muscles, tanned skin, confident stance, knowing look, jutting limb at the ready. All of it desirable, all of it beautiful, all of it for her.

Lynn snorted angrily as she pulled her tunic off.

_Perfect_.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her awesome input._


	36. Chapter 36

Skin against skin, body against body.

Squeezing, pushing her down, suffocating her.

With determination born out of desperation Lynn kicked and punched, pulled and pushed, struggling upwards.

"_**You cannot hide.**_" Lynn froze, ignoring the slight scratch of a clawed finger inching into her calf, terror making her bite down until she drew blood, keeping herself from crying out.

Nothing came though.

Again she begun the pushing and kicking, making enough space for her to continue her ascent.

There were dead people _everywhere_. They were atop her, around her, their cold skin pushing against hers, making her shiver. Blood-soaked eye-sockets staring at her as she pushed at them, as she climbed over them.

Most remained limp and uncaring at her climb, just staring at her, silently judging her. A few others reached out though, almost teasingly slicing cuts into her skin. This had been going on forever, her body was now slick with her own blood, the cuts burning. "_**There is nowhere to go.**_"

Lynn froze again, heart stopping. The archdemon was close, so close she felt the bodies around her shake with its steps.

And if she came up it would find her...

Yet she couldn't' stop herself. She _had_ to climb out of the millions of dead, _had_ to breathe, _had_ to _escape_ the dead and their accusing stares.

But there was no end to them, the pile was miles high for all she knew, she couldn't see...couldn't know...only _feel_...feel her heart quake with the realisation that they were all doomed.

Lynn despaired...and then felt an odd wet sensation on her shoulder, as if it just had been kissed.

Turning her head she found a dead man grinning at her, bloodied sockets dark, his lips smeared with her blood.

She screamed, wide eyes just watching as the man leant towards her shoulder again...and this time bit right into it, sharp teeth tearing into her flesh.

She _screamed_.

All of a sudden the whole mass of dead people stirred. Above, below, to her sides...everywhere they were moving, clawed fingers reaching out towards her, mouth opening in grins, _wide_ grins...those of darkspawn. The ones further at the back scuffled to get closer, their talons creasing into her skin before withdrawing to taste the blood they had drawn. The ones closer to her...

_Screamed_.

Her right leg was torn off and she couldn't even see it, only feel it as the creatures below lapped at her pouring blood. Sharp claws tore her abdomen open, grinning mouths eagerly chomping down on the guts falling out. A snap and one of her ears was bitten clean off. Her arms were pulled sideways and into the writhing mass around her, dozen of jaws closing around them, tearing whole chunks off her as the dead fed.

And _screamed_.

"_**There you are.**_" The mass of dead shook and trembled...before being violently torn away, leaving her laying atop a pile of suddenly limp bodies.

She wasn't dead..._somehow_...she wasn't dead.

Staring up Lynn saw the dark monster descend upon her, its mere presence burning into a body that by all right shouldn't be able to _feel_ pain anymore.

Yet she _did_, the remains of her torn body writhing in agony as every nerve was set afire. She herself just stared up at the archdemon, stared as it _smiled_ at her.

And she could do nothing but despair.

*

*

*

She sat up, breathless, open mouth unable to cry out the scream that was supposed to leave her lips.

Her eyes were wide, heart stopped dead, she could only stare, trying to make sense of what she saw before her glazed eyes.

The tent was bright, meaning the sun was up, she was naked under the blanket pulled to her chest, she was drenched in sweat.

Zevran wasn't there fortunately, true to his word.

But _he_ was.

Lynn's heart was suddenly racing, choking her.

Alistair was down on one knee, still in his shirt and trousers...and looking as sympathetic as always. Despite her, despite the pain it must cause him, despite that he had every right _not_ to be there, despite it all, despite _everything_... Lynn felt fresh despair roll over her, tearing at her heart. _He can't stop, he __can't_..._why can't he __stop_!?

"You...bastard..." She hissed, feeling as if her lungs were about to explode.

The man cocked his head to the side, frowning in confusion as his eyes burnt into her. Whatever he saw only elicited more sympathy out of him, more caring. The kindness rolled over her, _burned_ her.

"You...heartless..." She winced at her own words, her body shaking. "..._bastard_..."

Not a blink, not a scowl, _nothing_.

_Damn him_...

"Why won't you just..." She wanted to hit him, kick the sympathy out of that kind face, _hurt_ him.

But she _couldn't_.

Instead she fell out of her bedding and forward, tumbling into his chest, fists closing around his shirt as she shrieked out in frustration. "_Stop_ it! Stop _doing_ this!" Pressed so close to him she couldn't pound his chest with her hands properly. Yet she tried, tried to pound the frustration out of her, or the kindness out of him, she wasn't sure which. "Stop this!"

No answer, only the steady heaving of his chest against her sweaty face, strong arms around her bare shoulders. Only _sympathy_.

"Stop it..." She quivered, her fists stopping their assault, all energy pouring out of her, the only thing keeping her up being Alistair's arms.

No reply, only the arms around her holding her tighter, waiting for her to calm down. Because that was what he _did_, he did it _for_ her, no other reason...and that _hurt_.

"Sorry." The word escaped her, a mere whimper. "Sorry." _For you_. "Sorry." _For me_. "Sorry." _For being here_. "Sorry." _For the situation we're in_. "Sorry." _For not being someone else_. "Sorry." _For existing_. "Sorry." _For everything_. "I'm sorry..."

There was no answer, not at first, only a steady heartbeat against her ear, heavy and calm, soothing.

Then she felt his chest heave, to speak. And she _knew_, she _knew_ he would draw upon that endless reservoir of kindness within him, _knew_ he would forgive her, let his kindness wash over her.

_Knew_ he would destroy her.

"Don't!" She cried. "Please..." Lynn pleaded, clawing at the now wet shirt of his. "Don't forgive...please..." _I don't deserve it_. "Don't." _Please hate me_. "Don't." _Please_... "Don't forgive." _I didn't want this_. "Don't." _It hurts too much_. "Don't..." _Stop doing this to me_. "Don't..._please_."

She could feel his confusion, the pained sympathy, not knowing where to go. Yet he remained silent, afraid to ask, to even move.

_I don't deserve_...

She whimpered, her voice barely more than a whisper. "It hurts..._so_ much..._why_ don't you see this!?" No answer, the man as unmoving as a statue. "It hurts...your kindness...why do you persist!? Why do you want to hurt me!? Why do you _care_ for me!? What do you _get_ for it!? _Nothing_...yet you give...and _give_..." She whimpered, struggling for breath as she felt her lungs being squeezed from within. "..._why_!?"

..._you_.

She could feel him hesitate, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't break her. He couldn't remain silent and show his sympathy, nor could he answer...and break her that way.

So he did the only thing he _could_ do.

He left the tent.

Sobbing Lynn pulled her dropped blanket closer, towards her heart, trying to block _it_ away, the knowledge that he had left for _her_ sake.

She might as well have tried to block a fireball.

_Why_!?

*

*

*

_Defeat_.

It left a bitter taste.

With her shoulders slumped Lynn silently marched within the group of companions, _with_ them, yet _aside_ of them. Around her there was endless chattering, mindless conversations between the people she'd learnt to trust with her life. Oghren was lecturing a silent Sten about ale, Leliana was telling stories to an enraptured Wynne, Morrigan scoffing at it all. Zevran was chattering away at her, thinking she was listening for some reason.

At the head of the group Alistair marched on, the man stoically leading them on, yet his shoulders were slumped as well, head bowed in thought.

_Defeat_.

They hadn't exchanged a word since she'd left her tent, her face a mask of strength and confidence, unafraid. The man had shot her a single look, a look she hadn't been able to read, then turned to pack his things. Lynn had nearly broken apart once more at the sight, thousands of horrible scenarios running through her mind, showing her just what a fool she was.

Yet she had managed to recover, pride forcing her to pretend as if nothing was amiss, despite the odd looks the ever observant Leliana and her friend Morrigan had shot her. She had ignored them though, her orders fast and clipped at the group as she made them prepare for another day of marching.

Marching would be good, marching would purge her of the turmoil within her, of the memory of her baring herself like that, of her moment of _weakness_.

Yet it _didn't_.

All she could think of were her words, her _mewling_, of how pathetic she'd been as she had crumpled before the man that walked ahead of her. She was at his mercy now, it ate at her like acid, tearing at her heart, aching. Yet she knew he wouldn't use it against her, he would _never_ do that, _never_...and that hurt even more, _shamed_ her to the point she wanted nothing but the sweet release of oblivion.

Of course he hadn't meant her to feel like that, he _never_ did, and that had somehow made it worse.

_Defeat_.

"So my dear warden, why the glum look?" Zevran asked with a wide smile, all charming and carefree, making her envy him.

"Didn't sleep much." Lynn grunted and looked away, not the least interested in continuing the conversation.

"You're telling me." The other elf chuckled, all smirks. "Though I would expect you to _smile_, we played for quite a while didn't we?"

"I suppose." Lynn shrugged, the memory could have been nice, but it was tinged with nothing but more shame and guilt...nearly making her gag on it all.

"In fact you had quite a few tricks there...as if trying to _impress_ me." Zevran chuckled again. _Not you, no_... "I _was_!" The assassin nodded, apparently satisfied with his 'compliment'. "Though I must wonder...there was quite some experience at work there Yes? Almost too much, yes?"

"What's your _point_?" Lynn snapped, doing her best not to decapitate the intrusive assassin.

"I'm merely saying that with this in consideration...and with your questions from last day and before that...I can only deduce that you understand me quite well. Yes?" Zevran cocked his head to the side, trying to read her dead expression. "Considering that you're an elf...from an alienage...I cannot help but be curious..."

"I am not interested in talking about my past." Lynn interrupted, eyes boring into Alistair's back, shame pouring over her in waves. _I don't want to think about it, or __this_..._or at all_.

"Warden, warden..." Zevran shook his head with a smile. "You close your heart too readily, it's not good for you. I am quite sympathetic to any plight you may suffer, I believe myself to understand where you're coming from and is always..."

He was right, so _terribly_ right, he _would_ understand. Yet Lynn couldn't care less. "I uncrossed my legs for you, I didn't open my heart." The assassin blinked in sudden surprise. "Now leave me be."

"As you wish..." Zevran almost sounded hurt, but withdrew, much to her relief. "...warden."

Ignoring the annoying man Lynn turned back to stare at Alistair's back, here eyes trying to burn through the heavy plate covering him, through his skin, to see..._something_ that would soothe her worry and shame.

_What is he thinking_? _Has_ _he_ _forgiven_ _me_? _Does_ _he_ _despise_ _me_ _now_? _Does he see me_ as _unfit_ _to_ _command_ _us_ _now_? _Is_ _he_ _disgusted_? _Shocked_? _Afraid_? _Does he intend to just leave me at Redcliffe and continue without the weak warden that caves so easily_? She nearly snivelled at the last thought, a new fear squeezing her heart, but instead she chose to growl, making a nearby Leliana flinch. _Does he hate me now_? _Yes_? _No_?

She was unsure which answer she preferred.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	37. Chapter 37

He was running out of time.

Alistair could see it in the trees, the slight incline of the road, he recognised the old stump to his left, despite it being much smaller than last time he'd seen it. They were close to Redcliffe, so close it was a wonder they didn't see the top of its turrets yet.

Yet he had yet to make his decision, his mind locked up with indecision and confusion.

Morrigan was sauntering up to him as he lead the group onwards, a cruel smile on her lips, Alistair treated her to a distracted nod before returning to his thoughts.

_Did I make the right call_?_ I could have said so many things_..._but that wouldn't have helped, would it_? He shrugged, unable to make sense of it. _How can kindness hurt_? To be fair he had sensed it quite a few times, that Lynn...while appreciating him helping her as she recovered from her nightmares...at the same time despised it. _But is it me or herself she despises_? Alistair grimaced, the thought of Lynn despising herself...not sitting well with him.

"So I've come to understand the other warden had some fun last night?" Morrigan's tone was light, teasing.

Alistair just grunted, too busy with his thoughts to respond.

He understood it, sort of, he thought. She didn't want to appear weak, that much he'd understood from her unwillingness to show hesitation and fear before the others...but he was unsure he knew just _how_ deep that desire ran._ Does she despise me for seeing her like that_? _Surely she realises I think her anything __as__ weak_..._to have the strength to go on after whatever she's been exposed to can't be easy_.

"I find it _amazing_ that she could make such an obviously experienced man as our little assassin cry out in pleasure that loud, don't you?"

_Is it the whole 'I don't want to owe anyone anything' that bothers her_?_ Surely she realises that we're close enough for me not to wish anything of her for doing her a favour that costs me nothing_? _I mean even if it did cost me something it wouldn't be a problem_..._or is it __this__ that's a problem for her_? _Seemed that way_..._I don't understand it though_. He frowned, trying to comprehend the thinking of the enigma silently marching on at the rear of their little group. _But she does things for me too, she leads us for crying out loud_! _I could never do that_..._or does she think this so natural that she doesn't even consider it a kindness_?

"So much moaning and gasping...even _I_ could hear it from my part of the camp." Morrigan continued, her voice a distant mumble to Alistair's ears. "And for _such_ a long time too...Zevran must really have done her a great favour, don't you think?"

_Of course this leads to the main problem...we're close to Redcliffe and Eamon_.Alistair suppressed his worry over the man as he tried to concentrate on his personal concern._ And once there...she'll find out, I just know she'll find out, she's too clever not to_. _What will she think_? _Will it just be another tool_?_ I don't want that_..._I'm more than just a tool_..._and I __can't__ lead_. _No, no she knows this, yet_..._she will do anything to fight the blight, I don't_..._no_..._I don't_...

"'Tis most entertaining to hear them...we can only hope they put up such a vigorous performance next time at camp, wouldn't you say so?"

_Will she hate me for keeping this from her_? _She could probably have used my birthright earlier_..._she's clever like that_. _What happens if I tell her_?_ Will I just become 'prince Alistair' all of a sudden_?_ Not to mention that she's still fairly new to the idea of accepting humans as just people_..._will noble blood make that worse_?_ They're the ones keeping her people under their heel after all_..._I don't want her to hate me_.

"Alistair?"

_Maybe she already does_? _Maybe she already hates me for being there when she awoke_?_ I don't_..._think so though_..._but I doubt she'll be all that receptive to further changes_. He suppressed the urge to glance backwards. _I don't want things to change either_..._well_..._I __do__...preferably so she'll talk to me_..._but not for the worse_..._and that is far too likely to happen_.

"Alistair...?"

_Duty_. Alistair nearly gagged at the word, he hated it, despised it, yet it burrowed into his mind, crashing through all the reasons he'd put up. _I have to tell her_..._it's my duty_..._and if I __don't__ do my duty she'll despise me anyway_..._so I just have to take the chance_. He swallowed, fear making cold sweat run down his back._ This is probably the __worst__ time to bring this up_..._yet I __have__ to_..._I hate this_.

"Alistair!" Morrigan's irritated hiss was followed by a thump of something impacting with his armoured boot. Looking up he found Morrigan wince in pain, the witch for some reason wobbling as she moved away from him. "You stupid..."

"Huh?" Alistair blinked. "Yes...sure...good point...err..." He shrugged, not really knowing what the witch was going on about, and _certainly_ not why she was scowling at him worse then usual.

Ignoring it was easy enough though, his mind far too occupied with more pressing concerns than the anger of the loathsome witch. Turning he found the others behind him slow to a halt, expectant gazes waiting for him to say..._something_, he swallowed. _How much of what's going on do they know about_? _Did they hear Lynn shouting at me last night_? _Do they expect_..._something_? "I suggest a short break...Lynn...could I...talk to you for a moment?" His voice quavered, but didn't break. _Thank the Maker for small mercies_...

"Sure." Lynn replied, voice clipped as she looked away and motioned that she would follow him.

Doing his best to ignore the others staring as they went to the right side of the road to rest he lead Lynn to the left, putting himself between her and them at a comfortable distance. _At least now they can't see much of what's going on_.... Looking down at the woman he wasn't too surprised to find her still looking away. Instead of the flush of her ears that he had expected though, she was probably embarrassed about earlier after all, she instead looked pale...sickly pale in fact. "Are you...okay?"

"Fine."

"Okay..." Alistair muttered, not at all buying it. "You're still not...thinking about the dream are you?"

Lynn snorted, as if there was something amusing with the thought. _Guess it __is__, she's handled them for weeks now_...

"Good, good...erm...yes..." He moved a hand to scratch the back of his neck, the fact that he didn't tear out hairs there all too readily reminding him of the time she had cut it. "Heh...this is a little hard to say..." _She's going to hate me, she's going to ask me why I didn't tell her sooner_..._and then hate me even more_.

"Just say it then." Lynn bit her lower lip and looked down at her feet, somehow getting paler.

"Wha...?" Alistair hesitated, something in Lynn's tone...frightening him. She seemed so weak all of a sudden, afraid...as if she feared him striking her down where she stood. _Which is just silly, but why is she cringing back then_? "Well...here's the thing then...ah...heh..." _Just say it_..._come on_....

Lynn took half a step backwards all of a sudden, her skin ghostly pale, what little showed since she had lowered her head so much he couldn't even see her face. "Just...say it..." _Maker_..._she_ _looks_ _ready_ _to_ _shatter_!

It took a great effort of will not to reach out and touch her, or to ask what was wrong. _But if I do_..._I don't think she could handle that_. Suddenly the urge was _very_ easy to suppress. "Well...the thing is..." He forced a smile. "...I'm a bastard."

There was a pause, the woman before him going very still.

Then she looked up at him, her paleness somewhat lessened, eyes large, trying to comprehend what he was saying. "Is that...a...taunt...of before...?" She blinked, looking so confused it was heartbreaking. Even as he stared back he saw a small tear appear in the corner of her eyes...

"No!" Alistair raised his hands, panicking. "No, no! Of course not! Don't be crazy! I would _never_..." He winced at the grimace crossing Lynn's features. _Kindness_..._dammit_. "Look, I didn't mean it like that...I meant it...as it actually being true...as in..._physically_...or blood...heh...you know..._really_."

The tear was instantly blinked away, the paleness replaced by suddenly reddening ears. "Oh..."

"Which is fine!" Alistair forced a grin. "Very suiting...you know...no need to feel that you've somehow hurt me...or...anything..." _Great, good choice of words there_..._idiot_.

"Oh..." Lynn looked away, looking uncertain.

_Of course she does, I'm not making any sense_! _Here she thinks I'm going to bring up the whole me nearly breaking her by being a thoughtless moron! And instead I make it sound as if I'm taunting her and then proceed to make it sound as if I don't care about what she's said to me_! _Maker_..._I __am__ a moron_. "Look, I was raised by Eamon, right? And was then sent of to the chantry and all that...you remember that?"

"Of course." The woman whispered back, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Well...Eamon raised me because my mother was dead...and my father..._unavailable_." Alistair grimaced. _I'm skirting the subject_..._Maker_..._this is hard_. "Since he raised me in his castle there were quite a few whispers about who my father was...many of those saying _he_ actually was my father." _How I wish that was true_... "Which of course didn't go so well with his wife, arlessa Isolde." Alistair grimaced again, his many run-ins with the woman as a young boy running through his head. "I can't really blame her...if it had been true it would be an insult to her...the arl keeping his bastard child with his proper wife and all...I _do_ understand that she wanted me gone...not that I did back _then_, but _now_ I do."

Lynn didn't reply, the woman probably trying to make sense of his blabbering. _Yes, good work there, not like I haven't prepared this speech for ages_!_ Where did that speech go_!?_ Huh_!?

"So...Eamon sent me away." Alistair shrugged, trying to ignore the regret washing over him at the memories. "Sure, he visited at times, but _I_ wouldn't hear of it...he tried a final time, gave me back my mother's amulet I had thrown at his face when he sent me away..." He shook his head, the image still burnt into his retinas. "And I threw it into the wall...so he could _never_ give it back again...a stupid thing to do..."

"Alistair..." Was there a question there? Or just..._oh_..._right_.

"Right, sorry, I forgot the important part didn't I?" Alistair laughed, feeling extremely awkward as he shifted from foot to foot. "Eh...well..as I said I _wasn't_ Eamon's son..." _Just tell her, just get it over with_.

Lynn glanced up at him from staring at her feet, looking confused beyond words. _I shouldn't have said anything, she's got enough on her mind already_..._but the die has been cast_....

"Because we knew...eh...that Maric was my father..." Just confusion. "...as in I was his bastard child with a local servant girl..." More confusion. "...Maric, as in Maric Theirin..." A slight twitch in her face. "...which...sort of...makes me Cailan's half-brother."

The woman twitched, her face blank. For a horrible moment Alistair thought she would kneel before him, swear her allegiance or..._something_. Instead she just whispered back: "Does...that...?"

"No! Maker no!" Alistair paled at the implication, his voice cracking: "I _surely_ hope not!" He shook his head, the familiar terror of the whole kingship idea rolling over him. "It's always been made very clear to me that I'm just a bastard son who has no proper claim to the throne...and will _remain_ so. And that's _very_ much okay with me." He hoped she would understand what he meant by that, no king Alistair here, oh no. _Not that she would care about my opinion in that_..._would_ _she_?

"But...with Cailan dead..." Lynn was just muttering the words, stare blank.

"Yes..." Alistair looked away, picking a spot far away in the distance to stare at. "...lets not think about that please? It's not important anyway, I'm not royalty, and never will be thank the Maker." Alistair licked his lips. "I just...it might come up when we arrive...and I wanted you to hear it from me..."

"Royalty..."

"Please don't say that." Alistair grimaced, hands curling into fists at the implication. "I'm neither royal nor noble, despite what any diluted blood may say. I'm a _mistake_..._please_ don't make it into anything else."

There was no answer, the woman hesitating. _She's going to do it_. Alistair felt his heart drop. "I..." She shifted where she stood. _She's_ _going_ _to_ _make_ _use_ _of_ _this_..._Maker_..._no_. "...why didn't you...tell me?"

He was almost relieved of the question and managed to face her, smiling awkwardly. The eyes looking back at him were still large, and though the blushing of her ears had stopped it had been replaced by a slight paleness. _At least she's not ready to shatter any longer_... "Well...everyone who needed to know already knew before...and then...things just...continued." He shrugged, unsure. "I won't lie...I've been a little...afraid of telling you to be honest."

"Afraid?" Lynn echoed, confusion etched in her face.

"Well you're so clever and smart and strong and..." Alistair fumbled for words, the staring woman not helping things. "I _knew_ you would find a way to use this to our advantage, but I don't _want_ to become king or....even have my blood _mentioned_ really...even if it might help us."

The confused look was instantly replaced by a pained one, guilt and shame so clearly written on Lynn's face that Alistair felt his own shame resurface.

"But that wasn't the big thing!" He hurriedly said, trying to stop his thoughtless words from pushing the woman over the edge. _Dammit_..._I have no way with words_..._another reason not to become king_. "I...just...everybody who knows always treats me differently, either I'm someone to envy or to hate...or to _coddle_." He grimaced, feeling a pressure close around his heart as he continued: "Even Duncan did, that's why he kept me out of the fighting at Ostagar...because I'm too _important_ to waste, unlike him."

"That's not true." Lynn mumbled, looking away.

"What?" Alistair forced a grin. "You mean I'm unimportant enough to waste? Or that Duncan didn't coddle me?"

"You're important..." Lynn sighed, still looking away. "And Cailan ordered you to go with me, not Duncan..."

"I...yes...he did." Alistair winced. "I guess I wanted to feel guilty about that...can't have enough of _that_ eh?" He offered the woman an awkward smile.

The eyes looking back were anything but amused, tired, pained...and still a little confused for some reason.

Alistair felt his shoulders slump. "I...just didn't want you to think differently of me. I...my origin...has certainly defined my life...but it's not _who_ I am." He grimaced and looked away. "I just wanted you to..." _Careful_ _now_. "...like me for who I was...not because of where I came from..." He lowered his head and stared at his hands, wanting nothing but to get things over with. "...I guess...that sounds...stupid..."

"No." _Huh_? Looking up he found Lynn looking...oddly decisive for someone who had been on the verge of shattering mere moments ago. She shook her head, gaze level. "No it doesn't." The eyes softened. "You...had all right to do that. And...I _won't_ force you to do anything..."

"Thank you." Alistair sighed, suddenly realising he'd been holding his breath.

Then, out of the blue, a laugh bubbled out of her, a sudden smile on her lips. "Heh, like I could force the _prince_ to do anything..."

_I don't remember the last time she smiled_... Grinning Alistair feigned a groan. "Oh Maker, I'm going to regret this aren't I?"

"You brought it up." Lynn chuckled, actually chuckled! "Now I wonder if I could make Leliana your court jester? And Wynne would obviously be your advisor, Sten would be the bodyguard. Oghren...perhaps the drunken uncle?"

"Yes, like my pedigree isn't confused enough _without_ a dwarven uncle!" Alistair laughed, relieved that Lynn hadn't brought up Zevran, and knowing _why_ she hadn't. It was...kind of her. Alistair grinned as he asked:"And what does that make you?"

"Me?" Lynn hesitated, making Alistair regret his words. _Damn, and it was going so well_... To his relief the woman retained her amusement and she smiled. Pulling her hair back over a pointed ear she did a clumsy curtsy. "I'm obviously your elven handmaiden, every king needs one."

"That sounds dangerous, my family has a history with servants." Alistair joked, and instantly realised his mistake at the way Lynn flinched. "I mean...heh..." The woman looked away, a hand coming up to rub her elbow, biting her lower lip. _Nice, I had to continue the joke too far, didn't I_...?

Looking away Alistair felt the silence stretch out, crushing the relief he'd felt mere moments ago.

_Awkward_....

Then he noticed the distant contour of a man on the road, a man _running_. Alistair felt his hands curl into fists at the sight, realizing something was wrong, the run was too hurried, too stumbling...that of a wounded man...who could only be coming from Redcliffe.

_Redcliffe_...Alistair narrowed his eyes at the now clearly wounded man and stepped forward, ready to meet whatever news the man might bring.

_Eamon_..._I'm coming_.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her aid._


	38. Chapter 38

With an unnatural hiss the last corpse of the latest wave was gutted by Lynn's flashing blade, a solid kick sending it rolling down the steps before her.

It didn't bring silence though.

There was gasps for breath. Frightened whispers through a closed gate from those unable to fight. The sound of crackling fire.

The smell of death was like a fog. It wasn't just that of spilled blood and innards, nor the stench of long dead corpses. It was as if the ground itself was dying, the wood and stones of the houses, it all reeked of a death not purely physical in the darkness of the evening. It was as if the whole village was suffering from a disease, a sickness slowly pulling it all into the ground.

They had fallen back to the chantry, to defend the people cowering in it as more and more undead had poured over their defences.

The ground before them was covered by the dead...and in the shadows cast by the roaring bonfire in the centre of the square...Lynn couldn't tell which were militiamen and which were their undead attackers. Most were that of their attackers however...._not that it would help if we all die at the end_.

"The oil is running out."

Lynn didn't even glance at Alistair, knowing her shadow to be at her right, as he always was. Instead she nodded, seeing the fire of the oil that had been poured in a semicircle around the entrance to the chantry flicker and die. Charred corpses lay in it, many having been felled by blackened arrows that still stuck out of them. Others had been cleaved apart, killed by the militiamen, knights and Lynn and her companions back when their defensive circle had been wider.

She could see Lloyd, the fat innkeeper, lay speared upon one of the sharpened stake defences that had been erected just behind the now dying fire...the protruding stake slick with his blood and gore. He was just one of many that had been killed..._half_ the militia was dead, the other half laying wounded in the chantry and treated by an overworked Wynne, though a few still sat on its loft with their bows at the ready, lead by Leliana and the 'conscripted' Berwick.

Despite every preparation they were being worn down to nothing.

Yet they still held. Ser Perth and his knights still stood, as did Dwynn, though his men had died. The centre of their diminishing circle was held by Lynn and her friends though, the heart of their defence by now. _It's such a thin line_...

Yet they held, no one ran. The militia fought to defend their families, the knights for their honour and people...and Lynn and her friends...she eyed Alistair.

The man's breathing was steady by now, still raised shield covered with the black blood of their undead foes, as was his new sword. It was fitting that the man was wielding a weapon given by one of the villagers, a weapon he now used to defend them, its curved edge shimmering with enchantments. His gaze was steady, level, hard. It had remained so ever since they had heard of what was happening in Redcliffe...and it broke no argument in what was to be done.

No, there would be no retreat.

_Prince_..._he's a prince_... The mere thought made Lynn shudder. _I've been fighting next to a __prince_... She shuddered again, not really sure how to feel about it. _Noble blood_..._a nobleman_...was she supposed to fear him? Hate him? She couldn't...he _wasn't_ Vaughan, she couldn't see anything _close_ to Vaughan in him...so what was she supposed to see in him? What was a nobleman to her? Besides Vaughan they were just distant figures, uncaring, unknowing of her very existence.

Of course that was anything _but_ true with Alistair.

_I can't believe I promised him not to use this_... She could just imagine what the revelation would do if Alistair's existence was made public. She knew there were already rebellions all across Ferelden, what would happen if the last man of the Theirin bloodline was revealed? Even _she_ had been close to bending her knee before him, a knee-jerk reaction ingrained into every citizen of Ferelden, made all the more powerful by the Orlesian occupation.

And if she, not holding any loyalty to the nation oppressing her people was ready to bend knee by the mere revelation of Alistair's origin, then what would _others_ do?

_I could take it back_...she nearly smiled at the thought, the shame digging into her gut at the mere idea telling her she would never be able to do it. _No, I can't, strange_..._guess I could convince him to change his mind_..._but_ _no_..._I_ _won't_..._it's his choice to keep it secret_. She had done the same after all, none of the others knew much of where she came from, Alistair knew her cousins names, and that was it...so who was she to tell him what to do with his origin?

_A prince_..._the clumsy, awkward Alistair_..._a prince_? It didn't fit, wouldn't fit...yet...it _did_. It was actually a bit frightening.

"They're coming." The man muttered, eyes afire with anger as he gazed out into the dark village before him. It wasn't Oghren's mad rage though, nor the simple anger used to conceal a fear of death. It was _fury_, righteous fury, as if the dark shapes slowly appearing from behind the buildings around them had personally insulted him, as if their mere existence was a sacrilege. It was simple though, they threatened the people of Redcliffe, _his_ people...and he was to protect them. Of course he would do that even if he _hadn't_ been of Theirin blood...but now it carried far greater weight all of a sudden...far more importance.

_Wonder if he realises this_?

There was no answer in the infuriated glare aimed at the undead massing at the edge of the square.

"Leliana!" Lynn's cry was instantly answered by the twang of a bow just above her head, making one of the creatures collapse.

The unanimous hiss of the creatures was full of rage, mindless, hateful hatred squeezed out from lipless mouths. The charge came a second later, a mass of bluish skin hidden under tarnished armour of leather and steel..all rushing at them, weapons raised by bony hands. With the burning oil gone it took a while for them to come into the light. When they begun to climb the defensive stakes the light of the bonfire illuminated them though...and they were instantly treated to the missiles of the five remaining archers atop the loft.

They were mutilated. The corpses were blue and pale, their lipless mouths bared in ferocious snarls, skin blemished by scars and marks of some unknown disease. They barely looked human anymore...yet they had been mere days ago. Lynn glanced back at Alistair once more, worried. He had lived in the castle after all...though it had been long ago...did he recognise any of them? Were there old friends, protectors coming at him? Were they soldiers that had once played around with the boy Alistair as he ran around in the castle?

"For Redcliffe!" The man took a step forward, his blade decapitating the first undead reaching him. "For Eamon!" The next was gutted by his reverse stroke as the others struggled to reach the defensive circle, stumbling on the dead and dropping under the sniping arrows. "Save the people!"

Lynn smirked, despite the situation._ As you command_.

Then the undead were upon them. Alistair smoothly getting back within the circle as chaos washed over them. Lynn smashed aside a thrusting sword with her axe and repaid the blow with a thrust of her own, splitting the throat of the foe that hissed in rage even as it died. Another two came at her, only to be torn apart by a whirlwind of blades.

All around her the others fought and killed, sending the undead trying to climb the stairs to the chantry falling apart and piling up before them. Oghren, awash with black blood, kept swinging, each brutal hack tearing a gnarled limb off. Zevran, barely more than a shadow, darted in and out from behind the solid wall of knights, flickers of light instantly answered by the silent end of the undead before them. Morrigan, behind the stout defence of Dwyn sent fire and ice into the square, briefly illuminating the multitude of creatures before tearing them apart.

Sten was smiling, not physically, but there _was_ a smile in the qunari's movements as he swept his blade over his head. _His_ blade. Each move spoke of it. He fought as before, long sweeping blows that cut apart the heedlessly charging undead. Yet now his swings were even faster than before, more brutal, slicing the creatures apart, _joyusly_.

And next to her Alistair's mere roar sent the undead stumbling away, as if even _they_ could fear his fury.

Their foes were so many, _they_ so few, yet Lynn wasn't even afraid. They had faced a broodmother, they had killed darkspawn beyond counting, fought creatures from the fade itself...they _could_ _not_ lose...not now...not with _him_ and his fury with them.

The assault faltered.

"Forward!" Alistair's cry surprised Lynn, he was more tactical than her, and even _she_ realised it was smart to simply hold the line. Yet the anger glaring at the faltering enemies broke no argument, telling her there were other things but what was _smart_ to do. "Purge the village of them!" Breaking ranks he leapt forward, for a frightening moment reminding her all too much of Cailan...then he smashed through two of the creatures, sending one flying into the bonfire and stabbing the other through the gut. "We have them now!"

She believed him.

As one the line that had held the entrance to the chantry for the last three waves broke into a charge, all exhaustion forgotten. Running over the carpet of the corpses covering the ground Lynn spun away from a swinging mace and buried her axe into the leg of the offending foe as she thrust her sword into a second, felling them both.

Around her there was chaos, but victory. The undead had been thoroughly split up by the obstructing dead, stakes...not to mention the sniping arrows and spells that had torn into them, leaving them too spread out to swamp the handful of defenders that now sallied out against them.

"Leave none to harm another living soul!"

Whirling around she parried a thrust at her face and buried her axe into the face a charging creature, splitting its skull in two. Most of her attention was on how Alistair parried a mace with his shield before cutting the head off another foe though, a glitter of recognition in the man's eyes as he stared at the now dead creature. _He does recognise them_...

He shook it off quickly though, need overruling any emotional pain, head held high he gestured for the knights to continue their advance. "Come! Fulfil your oaths!"

Then a creature slammed into his side.

_No_! Lynn stumbled on the dead before her, almost dropping her weapons as she stared up at the unfolding scene of the hissing creature pinning Alistair's sword-arm to his side, its free hand coming up to grab him by the neck, pulling it closer as its jaw opened for a hungry bite. _No_!

Then he shot an elbow into its gut, swiftly followed by a slash by his now freed arm, gutting the creature.

Another came at him, jumping at him like a madman. He let it land on his raised shield...grunted...and pushed it backwards even as he kept it above his head, the creature hissed at him, unable to reach him with its short mace.

With a crunch he pushed the creature into the stakes ahead of him, drawing a nearly human howl from it as both its hands came to clutch at the sharpened log sticking out from its chest. The howl was short though, rapidly silenced by a neat cut across its throat.

And suddenly there was silence.

Looking around herself Lynn realised there were none left opposing them, all of their enemies were felled, truly dead. The others were lowering their weapons, they too looking around themselves, not ready to believe that was the last of the creatures that had been pouring over their defences for most of the night.

Yet it was.

Turning Alistair sheathed his sword, a grin on his lips as he faced the knights that only now had managed to reach him. "See? Easy as pie."

A breathless chuckle escaped them, relief clearly seen in the faces of the knights as they too sheathed their weapons before doubling over to gasp for breath, one dropping down to sit on the many corpses around them. Still smiling Alistair went up and gave the sitting man a pat on the shoulder. "Good work, they're safe."

There was a murmur of assents from the knights, their weariness visibly fading at the simple comment, making Lynn smile as she realised the grinning Alistair didn't even see it.

He _was_ a prince.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her assistance._


	39. Chapter 39

"Okay, the courtyard is just beyond this door."

Lynn eyed the solid door before her with trepidation, knowing all too well that a fight would break out the moment she did. There was something off in the castle, even through the hidden passageway leading to the dungeon Lynn had felt it, a slight tingling over her skin, a sense of deja vu coming over her by 'feel' of the air around them.

_Magic, it's the Mage's tower all over again, must be magic_.

It all felt wrong, despite their plan being somewhat sound. Teagan would distract whatever force held the castle, very likely a demon judging by what Lynn had seen so far, while she snuck in with Leliana, Zevran and Morrigan through the hidden entrance and moved to open the gate for Alistair leading Eamon's knights and the rest of the companions.

It was too convenient though, Isolde had been let out by the power she refused to properly describe, thinking Teagan could somehow soothe it? What need would something having the power to possess the dead with demons have of a bann? Was it planning to have another possess him? Maybe even itself? _It's got to be a demon, it's __got__ to_. _But why wouldn't Isolde then just say it is one? Or couldn't she recognise it as such_?

She looked back at the others, all three of her companions looking sharp and ready to fight, professional even, making her smile. _Wonder if I look the part too_?_ Strange_...

The smile faded somewhat as she eyed the mage standing a little to the side. The unshaven man had his hands tightly bound to his sides, a precaution Lynn actually thought unnecessary since he hadn't tried to resist the slightest, despite having revealed himself a blood mage. _Still, better safe than sorry_. His story of what had happened had shed a lot of light on what had happened, if one chose to believe it, which Lynn did for a lack of more believable tales. _It's lucky I put Alistair in charge of the second group, or he might have killed Jowan over the whole 'poisoning the arl' thing_...

She wasn't ready to assume Connor was the one who had started all of it though, however accidentally it might have been, Jowan might well be shifting blame after all. _Though it looks awfully likely that the blood mage is right_...Lynn shivered at the thought, disgust washing over her. _A child turned abomination_..._it's_..._just not right_. She clenched her sword tighter, trying to imagine a little child being turned to the monster Uldred had shifted into and failing. _It's just not right_.

"Right, I'll go for the lever to the gate." Lynn looked back at her companions. "Zevran, you go to the right and keep in the shadows, take on targets of opportunity." A smirk in reply. "Leliana, take cover, then cover me in my advance." The Orlesian nodded, the bard for once knowing to shut up. "Morrigan, death and destruction on a grand scale." The witch just chuckled, probably amused at the idea of _not_ dealing destruction. "As for you." Lynn glowered at Jowan. "You stay close to Leliana or she'll show you just what she can do with a bowstring." The man swallowed, but nodded, obviously wanting to be anywhere _but_ with them, not that Lynn cared for such silly wishes.

"Right..." Lynn brought her free hand down to grasp the handle to the door, feeling her heart-rate suddenly double as her body prepared for the immediate combat along with a familiar surge in her veins. "...now!"

The door slammed open and they rushed forth as one, Lynn leading all but Zevran straight for a nearby well as the assassin disappeared into the shadows.

A second later a dozen arrows bounced off the stone wall of the well and thudded into the ground around them. Risking a glance over the well's wall Lynn spotted the lever to the gate far to her left, across the entire open courtyard..._of course_. A stone stair leading up the keep itself was to her right, atop the small battlement used for its defence a dozen skeleton archers were spread out, their movements mechanical as they continued to pour arrows into their position. _Surprising undead_..._yes_..._good_ _plan_ _there_...

And at the top of the stairs... _That's a lot of undead_...._and the large one looks like a_..._oh_. "I'm going!"

Leaping forth Lynn ignored the stinging sensation of an arrow digging into her armoured shoulder, as well as the whistling of other arrows nearly hitting her before digging into the dirt around her. "Leliana!" She heard the crack of the bard's arrow finding its mark and felling one of the undead, nearly making Lynn laugh all of a sudden. _Can't believe I can recognise the sound of a collapsing skeleton_...

Turning her head Lynn saw the horde of undead soldiers pour down the stairs, the sea of creatures like nothing compared to the fearsome revenant rising above them. _Revenant_...Lynn ran faster, the extra panic inspired by the creature urging her on. They had faced a few of those before, and she wasn't about to do it again without the full weight of her companions with her.

Then Morrigan's fireball struck the surging sea of undead, making Lynn look away as the centre of the courtyard lit up as if a second sun had suddenly descended upon it. The edge of the explosion was so close it singed the soles of Lynn's boots even as she ran and sent the burning remains of the foremost undead bouncing off her back. _Nice shot_...

When she glanced back she was treated with the frightening, but not all surprising, sight of the revenant still marching forward, not even looking affected by the powerful blast, red eyes glowing as it remained focused on her, its remaining minions outstripping it as they ran for all they were worth to catch up with her.

They wouldn't reach her in time.

With a gasp Lynn felt another arrow dig itself into her back, but it was a momentary pain, and nothing compared to the relief of pushing down the lever and making the great steel gate open, instantly resulting in a battle-cry from the other side as those waiting in hiding there charged forth.

The first undead reaching her had its thrust parried by her swinging sword, the axe quickly digging into its head as she drew the weapon in a wide swing. The second didn't even reach her, the entire chest exploding as Morrigan's blast of lighting smashed through it. The third tried too, only to be bowled over by the charging Alistair before Oghren at the man's heels brought down his sword upon it.

The swing of the revenant forced Eamon's knights aside, parting them as it went for her...instead they crashed into the remaining undead, where Lynn trusted them to make quick work of the minor creatures so they could all focus on the bigger threat. _Which needs to be done __soon_! Jumping back Lynn found the ground before her break apart by the blow of a sword as large as she was, the baleful red eyes of the revenant focused on her.

Then a fist made of glowing stone hurtled over Lynn's head and smashed into its cruelly formed helmet, only to bounce off as if nothing but a pebble. "Wynne! Concentrate of healing!" Alistair ordered even as his sword slid through dark robes and bronzed armour alike, cutting a deep wound into the creature's left side...and not yielding the slightest of reaction. _Uh oh_... Lynn raised her axe and sword over her head, the weapons suddenly feeling flimsy in comparison to the massive thing of dark steel about do descend upon her.

Then Sten's sword came swinging, barely missing Lynn's head before it smashed into the revenant's abdomen, the sheer force of the impact forcing it to double over even as black blood begun to pour from the deep wound. The creature turned its head, red orbs focusing on the Qunari standing next to it, the warrior looking back, unflinching as he drove his blade deeper into the revenant's gut.

A hiss echoed from within its helmet as the revenant reached out towards the warrior with its free hand...only to freeze as Zevran suddenly leapt upon its back, legs wrapped around its chest the assassin smirked and drove both his daggers into its neck. "Forgot about little me did we?" He wrenched the daggers sideways...and the head of the massive creature dropped down in front of Lynn's feet like a gift.

Zevran smirked at her, then leapt off the revenant's back, flipped through the air and elegantly landed a few feet away as the creature fell forward and loudly crashed into the ground. "And another one bites the dust." The smirk got even wider. "Eh?"

"Good work." Lynn chuckled and sheathed her weapons, quickly noting that the few other undead were being executed by the knights and Leliana's sniping shots. "Alistair." The man looked up from where he was staring at her shoulders. _Oh, right_. Reaching up she tore out the two arrows stuck to her back, satisfied that they hadn't struck too deep. "Do the whole templar thing and keep the blood mage there under guard." She nodded towards the well from behind which a decidedly pale Jowan was poking his head up.

There was a question in the eyes looking back at her, but with no time the man simply nodded and moved to obey, much to Lynn's relief.

"Now..." Smiling tightly Lynn crossed her arms in front of her and narrowed her eyes at the keep a mere stone's throw away. "...let us finish this."

*

*

*

The castle keep was nearly unchanged, or so Lynn chose to believe, if one ignored the odd taste in the air she would even say everything was normal.

Of course 'normal' didn't really fit as a description of the castle's main hall when the four guards flanking the fireplace stared at the new arrivals with strange black eyes and Teagan danced like a madman at the head of the hall...in front of a weeping Isolde and a small..._dammit_. "Connor, I assume?"

"And you are the ones who killed my soldiers." Connor answered, his voice was that of a boy's, yet there was a strange echo following it, as if something far darker was speaking from just behind the child. He couldn't be more than twelve, all skin and bones, too much of legs and arms, just like any other child. The eyes looking back at her were dark though, dark and vicious. "Tell me, why have you come? Why do you stop me from taking what is rightfully mine?"

"Rightfully yours? Is Eamon dead then?" Lynn countered, gaze darting to Isolde. The woman couldn't meet her eyes, the arlessa softly weeping as she stood next to her son, shoulders slumped in shame and sorrow.

"Of course not!" The hiss was angry, offended. "I will keep him alive, that is within my power, as it is to conquer as a proper lord should! Redcliffe is strong, our army is strong, _I'm_ strong."

"Strong enough to make a deal with a demon? My but aren't I impressed?" Morrigan taunted.

Ignoring the witch Lynn watched as Teagan stopped his dance and drew his sword, the bann's eyes glazed over, as if he'd been chewing on too many deep mushrooms. Despite that his stance was perfect as he stood in front Connor, ready to defend the boy. "So you think you can keep your father alive? By killing others?" Lynn queried. "Demon, speak directly."

"I am no demon!" The boy growled. "I'm the bann! I made a deal! A _good_ deal! And now there is no fear! Nothing that can hurt us any longer!"

"Us? Or _you_?" Lynn grimaced. _He's afraid, just afraid_... "Demon, end the deal, or I'll _make_ you leave."

"The demon doesn't interfere!" Connor hissed, tiny fist raised, black eyes narrowed at her. "Now you have had your audience and you will _leave_!"

"I don't think so." Lynn snapped, a slight tug of fear at her heart._ I don't want to fight_...

"Teagan! Get her!" Connor shrieked, his voice breaking, the darkness in his eyes flickering all of a sudden.

The man attacked without hesitation, making her duck back as the people at her back moved to engage the charging guards. Teagan was skilled, fast...but his movement was jerky, stilted, as if he wasn't fully in control of his limbs. A duck, a parry with her axe and a spin and Lynn smashed the pommel of her sword into Teagan's temple, knocking him to the ground and drawing a moan out of him.

The fight was over before it even begun, the four guards easilycleaved apart by Lynn's companions and Eamon's knights.

"I...what...?" Teagan groaned from where he lay, his now human eyes glancing up at her. "...Lynn?"

"Teagan." Lynn offered the man a curt nod and advanced past him. Her head cocked to the side as she watched Isolde, now on her knees weeping, and Connor, huddled up in a corner facing the wall, rocking back and forth as if in pain. "What...is this...Isolde?"

"Please...help him." The arlessa gestured at the boy in the corner before clutching her shoulders. "He's still Connor! He's still in there! Do...something!" She suddenly narrowed her eyes. "You! You did this!" Pointing an accusing finger past Lynn the arlessa came to her feet, making Lynn glance back to see Alistair shove a distinctly pale Jowan in front of him. "Make him right! Turn him back to normal!"

"Please arlessa! I told you! I _did_ poison the arl! But I _didn't_ harm your son!" Jowan begged, drawing a strangled grunt from Alistair as the man's eyes narrowed at the man he was guarding. Otherwise he remained silent and unmoving though, recognising other things were at stake here. "Your son has obviously been tricked by a demon! It's not my fault!"

"Liar!" Isolde took a step forward, shaking hand raised to slap the mage.

Lynn smoothly stepped in-between the two though, forcing the arlessa's attention back to her. "You didn't tell me everything."

Isolde looked away, all energy visibly running out of her. "Of course not..." She looked back at Lynn with tearful eyes. "...what could I say? That my son is an abomination? He's not...don't you see?" She gestured at the boy cowering in the corner. "He's normal at times, just a boy..." She fell back to her knees, head bowed in defeat, voice but a whisper. "...please help him..._please_..."

_Abomination_, Lynn felt her shoulders slump as she stared at the boy still cowering in the corner. _This isn't fair_..._it's __never__ fair_...

"There is another way." She glanced back at Jowan, the mage looking hesitant. "I know of a spell...it could...send a mage into the fade...to combat the demon...if it is defeated there it will leave Connor."

"Absolutely not." Alistair snarled, mailed fist digging into Jowan's shoulder. "Blood magic will _not_ help this!"

A little surprised that he would cast aside the option that could save the boy Lynn chose to ignore Alistair as she looked at Jowan. "And why are you hesitating to offer this?"

"It would..." Jowan hesitated. "...require a life...someone to die." He looked down at his feet.

"I will gladly make that sacrifice." Isolde snapped, head raised, eyes afire with hope. Lynn had to admit...she understood it. "Please..." She looked over at Lynn. "...let me...save my boy."

Raising a hand Lynn ordered the arlessa to remain silent as she kept her focus on Jowan. "And with this sacrifice...a mage could find this demon? And if the mage fails?"

"He or she...dies." Jowan shrugged. "I was hesitant to offer...but I thought it best."

"It's _not_ an option." Alistair snapped once more, then looked back at Lynn. "Right? We could go to the circle instead, they have spells. It wouldn't require any foul magic, no sacrifice...right...Lynn?"

"You are...the wardens." Teagan muttered, the man looking hesitant as he eyed the two wardens, Isolde and Connor, eyes betraying his confusion. _He doesn't know what's best_..._we__ do_..._but what __is__ best_?

Lynn shook her head, looking down at the floor. _One sacrificed, another's life risked_..._and if that one fails we will have to end Connor's life as well_. _Three_ _dead_. Who was she supposed to send? Morrigan or Wynne? And if they failed...one of them would die, the group would be weakened, their entire war effort risked. _And that's assuming Jowan won't use the power of the taken life to flee_. "No, there will be no ritual." Isolde visibly collapsed where she sat, a strangled sob escaping her.

"Then lets send for the circle." Alistair nodded, a look of relief crossing his face.

_We could take him there._ _But then we would have to transport him over there_..._with whatever __monsters he could conjure up along the way_. _Or we could keep him here_ wh_ile we sent for them_..._but then he would be able to summon more undead whenever he turns to his demon self again_..._could we keep him knocked out_? _Drugged_?_ I doubt a demon would care about that_...

She shook her head, fists tightening.

_Maker_..._no_...

She glanced over at Alistair, trying to find some sort of order in his face, some suggestion. Of course his was to go to the circle...yet just seeing it convinced her all the more that it was the wrong choice, a risk taken by virtue of emotions.

_We_ _could_..._no_..._the_ _risk_ _is_...it's _worth_ _taking_!

She nearly laughed at her own foolishness.

_No_..._it isn't_..._so many dead already_...

Something within her..._hurt_. Despair gripping her.

_We must act now, we can't take any risk_...

The memory of the circle tower dug into her. _All those abominations, they spread swiftly, killing everything, we couldn't let them live_..._and_ _now_..._it's_ _no_ _different_..._yet_... _Maker_..._I don't_..._why_?!

"No." She breathed the word,feeling numb all of a sudden. "No...we will not go to the circle." _Maker, forgive me_.

"Then what..." Alistair's question died in his throat as Lynn stepped towards the still cowering Connor. "...Lynn...no...don't...you can't...it's not...please..."

_Please_..._shut_ _up_..._please_... She couldn't feel her body, moving as if she was asleep.

"I...I can't watch this." There was a clatter as Alistair turned to walk away, his pain and judgement tearing into her, making Lynn waver as she walked.

_Why_ _isn't_ _Connor_ _moving_? _Resisting_? _Please_...

"No!" Isolde suddenly leapt up and stood in front of Lynn , her face streaked with tears as she held her arms out wide and shook her head furiously, the pain in the eyes staring into Lynn's nearly felling her. "You cannot! Please!" She moved to clutch at Lynn's collar. "_Please_!"

Lynn moved before the trembling hands reached her. She couldn't feel her arms, yet she managed to swing the right one around...and smashed her armoured gauntlet into Isolde's jaw with a crunch.

The woman..._mother_...collapsed.

_And_ _now_..._damnation_. Lynn pulled her helmet off and dropped it to the floor, her right hand reaching back to draw the silvery dagger she kept hidden in her belt. _No, this isn't fair_..._I could order Morrigan_..._or_..._no_..._no this is my choice. But_..._I don't_..._please don't do this_! Of course she didn't heed her own mind, her steps slow and heavy as she dragged herself closer.

It took an age.

Then she reached Connor. Slipping down unto her left knee she reached out at the cowering boy...who flinched in a far too human way when she touched his right shoulder and pulled him over unto his back. There was no demon looking back at her, no twisted skin or claws, not even eyes afire with power.

There was just a boy.

Shortly cropped hair and pale skin, still dirty, as boys were wont to get.

Clothes not really fitting his ungainly frame, in an awkward state of growth as he was.

Lip quivering slightly, afraid of the woman bowed over him, yet too much in a state of shock to express it.

Innocent brown eyes wide, confused, afraid.

_No_..._Maker_..._change_..._turn_..._something_...

No Maker heeded her wish though, and no demon acted.

There was no excuse.

She tried to speak, but no words would come, what would she say? What _could_ she say? Sliding her grip over to his left shoulder she pulled him closer, cradling him as she moved her knife forward. It was a thin blade, nearly silver in colour, as was the white grip...pure...far _too_ pure...it wasn't right. The blade should be evil, cruel, not _this_...it wasn't right. _At least it's sharp_... Lynn sniffled.

He didn't move away when the knife got closer, didn't move a muscle, his wide eyes staring into hers...and Lynn couldn't do anything but meet that gaze, despite the face before her turning blurry with her tears.

There was no resistance.

A gasp, that was all that escaped the boy as her blade cut the artery at his neck, warm blood suddenly pouring over Lynn's arm and knees, drawing a sob from her.

The boy reached out, trembling hand closing around her shoulder as he pulled himself closer, face twitching in pain as his eyes continued to bore into her, asking her _why_...

_I_..._I_...

She had no answer, no words of comfort or kindness, nothing that could excuse her action.

And then it was too late.

Letting the now limp boy slip to the floor Lynn dropped her dagger and brought her hands, hands stained red with her shame, to her face...

And cried.

*

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her help._


	40. Chapter 40

"He's dead..." Alistair shook his head as he marched back and forth, making himself more and more agitated with each step. "...dead."

Teagan had of course felt obligated to offer their 'saviours' a night's rest to recover before they went to find brother Genitivi, an offer Lynn had readily accepted, knowing the entire group had been run a bit ragged after all their marching and fighting. Alistair wished she hadn't though. It was good to see that Eamon was still alive, for all intents and purposes asleep by the looks of it. It was also good to know the people were safe, and to see some semblance of order return to the castle. Yet the castle wasn't what he remembered, not after all that had happened...it felt as if he had failed it, and the fearful eyes of the servants watching him wherever he walked did nothing to help things.

So he had locked himself into his room, not _his_ room of course, he hadn't been able to bring himself to go there...but one of the many guest rooms Teagan had offered them.

Alistair hadn't even glanced at the furniture. He had changed to a green tunic and trousers as asked by one of the shaking servants...and had then begun to think.

Continuing his short march over to one end of the carpet laid in front of the luxurious bed of the room Alistair whirled about and began his march towards the other end...his route having begun to make an imprint in the red cloth under his feet. Holding his hands behind his back as he walked he glared at the cloth, wanting nothing but for it to catch fire, or become animated..._anything_ to draw his attention from the fact that Connor was _dead_...and that Alistair had _let_ it happen.

_I should have stopped her_..._why didn't I stop her_!? _Am I __that__ weak_!? _Eamon...what will he say_?_ I failed him_...

"Dammit!" Whirling about he kicked the carpet, sending it flying into the wall. "Dammit..." He shook his head and glared at the door, daring someone, _anyone_ to open it so he could yell at them for disturbing him.

_Lynn would be a good option_... Alistair felt his hands curl into fists at the thought. _I knew she was ruthless and vicious_..._but __this__? It's not right, it's just not right_! "Dammit!" He kicked at the door, sending a jolt of pain through his leg as he realised he wore leather shoes instead of armoured boots. The pain was a welcome one however, it distracted him, if but for a moment. _Damn her_! _I hate her_!_ how __could__ she_!?

Somewhere deep within he knew it hadn't been an easy choice for her, that she had reasons that somehow overruled the fact that she had killed a child...

_No_!_ I'm angry_! Alistair growled at the air, swung at it, forcing away his sympathy as if it were an insect worth only scorn. _Which it is_! _She killed him_!_ He wasn't even attacking and she killed him! What kind of monster would do such a thing_!?_ How could it be __allowed_!?

And now they were supposed to eat dinner, a private little 'celebration' as Teagan had put it. It was disgusting. _It'll feel more like a funeral than a celebration_..._I understand he wants to thank us, duty demands it, but he should by all right throw us out of the castle_! But no, Teagan was going to be the noble host, whether his guests deserved it or not. Served by servants fearing us, speaking with a man whose nephew they've killed..._yes, this'll be fun, brilliant, just brilliant_...

As if on cue he heard the small bell outside the door signalling that dinner time was up, the servants voice loud but stuttering as she called out. "D-dinner i-in the main hall i-in f-five minutes!"

_Great, just great. Okay, come one Alistair, fake smile, you know how to produce one right_?

Taking a final deep breath he opened the door and stepped out into the hall, head turning to see the others come out of their rooms as well.

Zevran looked far too comfortable in a white shirt that was far too open in the front and the tight leather pants of his. A rogue through and through...and already throwing flattery at the still robe-clad Wynne coming out of the room opposite his...whose grim look quickly shifted to a scowl as she was forced to focus on the grinning elf.

Oghren and Sten looked decidedly uncomfortable in their red brocade tunics that looked too small for both of them. Sten's face was still set in stone of course, but the slight shifting of his weight spoke volumes. Oghren on the other hand expressed his displeasure more openly by loudly spitting on the floor. "Oghren..." Leliana scowled in displeasure as she appeared behind the two men , most likely having been the one forced the fancy clothes onto them.

Normally he would have called her 'breathtaking' or something, the creamy dress she wore almost looking like a chantry's robe, yet fit far better to her shape that somehow made her look as fragile as glass, all curves and hints of skin as creamy as the dress covering it.

As it was he merely shot her a lingering glance, then grunted and searched for his quarry.

He didn't have to look long. To his right Lynn and Morrigan appeared, for some reason they had shared a room. _Probably to laugh at the dead and make blood sacrifices_. Alistair glared at Morrigan, not at all surprised she hadn't changed into something more suitable, and almost a little disappointed there wasn't any revealing dark blood covering her pale skin. The witch merely glared back, standing slightly ahead of Lynn, shoulders squared.

"The dinning hall is down the hall, _if_ you remember." Alistair grunted, shooting a thumb back towards the others as he faced Morrigan and the woman behind her. "I need a word with my fellow _warden_." He hadn't really planned what to say, but he knew he couldn't keep his peace through an entire dinner, and it was better to do this now than in front of Teagan and the gossiping servants.

"I don't recall _you_ giving me orders." Morrigan snapped and arched an arrogant eyebrow.

_Why you little_...

"Morrigan." A small voice spoke as an equally small hand came up to grasp the witch's shoulder, making her turn her head and look back at Lynn. "Go."

"I...very well." Morrigan shook off the hand, shot Alistair a final glare, then marched past him in a huff. "Well then, lets go and leave the wardens alone..." She spoke to the others. "...and get this farce over with..." _At least that's __something__ we agree on_...

And suddenly they were alone.

Lynn wore a green dress of Isolde's that had been hurriedly sewn up to fit the smaller elf....which didn't at all work, making her look awkward and childish in it. The amber eyes looking up at him weren't childish though, they seemed to have sunk into her strangely bruised sockets, making them look cruel and brooding. They were calm, neutral, _uncaring_.

_Damn her_...

Standing still Alistair waited for her to begin, to explain herself. Instead the woman just stood there, not even having the decency to avert her eyes as he glared down at her, not even caring!

"How..." He hissed the word, feeling a pressure build within his chest as he took a slow step towards the unwavering woman. "...could you?"

"I did what was needed." She replied, her voice cold and uncaring.

"Did you now?" Alistair growled, his hands closing into fists. "You kill a child, an innocent child....because it was _needed_?" His shoulders shook as he suppressed the urge to cross the distance and punch the cruel woman before him. "Or was it just the easy way? The quick way to end all the problems so you could get your help?"

The elf shrugged, disinterested. "It wasn't."

_Wasn't_? _What does that even mean_!? "What do you think Eamon will say when we awaken him!? Do you think he'll support us after this!? And if he dies you have deprived him of a son to carry his name forward! It's just...it's _wrong_!"

"He'll see that there are greater things at stake than the life of a single child." Lynn replied stoically, _uncaring_.

"Oh yes! Because _you_ know him _so_ well!" Alistair taunted even as he felt a slight jab at his heart. _Eamon __would__ probably do __just__ that_... "And I guess that's all that matters to you huh? Who cares that a small boy lies dead when you can get your soldiers!?" Alistair made a chopping gesture at his neck and advanced another step, the calm eyes looking back at him just fanning the flames of his anger. "I thought _you_ of all people would care! Or was the whole 'I love children' bit just another one of your games to make us think you actually had a _heart_!? Huh?_ Child-killer_!?"

He almost regretted his words, almost.

But the fact that Lynn barely even flinched at the accusation quickly silenced whatever kindness he'd forced down under lock and key. _She deserves this, she __does__, damn her_! The woman cocked her head to the side and looked at him, her eyes neutral, looking tired. _Oh I'm sorry I'm bothering you_!_ Perhaps you want to take a nap instead_!?_ Maker curse you woman_! "Then what would you have done?"

_Oh_...

"I..." Alistair shook his head, forcing the anger back, which gladly returned. "...something else! The circle would have had a spell! They know how to drive demons out!"

"The templars there kill people that are possessed." Lynn replied as cold and calculating as always. _Shut up_. "And even if they didn't, and the mages had a spell, how would we get him there? Would we survive with his demon self summoning monsters along out path?" _Shut up_. "Or would we perhaps keep him here and send word for them, giving his demon ample time to summon more of those undead creatures to attack us and the village?" _Shut up_! "It's not a good option, it wouldn't work, it's impossible...too dangerous to us and everyone else in Redcliffe and perhaps even Ferelden."

"Shut up!" Alistair was suddenly close to her, _very_ close. Glaring down at the woman he was surprised with how fragile she looked up close. _Good, then she'll be easier to crush_! Breathing heavily he forced his hands to remain at his sides though, exerting all his willpower in order not to strangle her.

Lynn just looked up at him, uncaring of the rage glaring down at her. His warm breath making some of her hair, that was more tousled than normal for some reason, move ever so little as the air struck her...and she didn't even _care_! _Guess such an evil act stops you from caring about others opinions_... "Then what about Jowan? Blood magic is foul...but he was _there_!"

"You said 'absolutely not'." Lynn quoted, calm...._calm_!

"And since when do you care about what _I_ think!?" Alistair growled, his neck so tense it could snap as he struggled to remain still, to not break the woman before him in half! "He was a child! A child! You should have done anything to save him! Yet even Jowan's offer was thrown aside! _Why_!?"

"If he hadn't used the sacrifice to escape..." Lynn shrugged, not the least bothered by his closeness, of his anger. _Bitch_. "We would have had to sacrifice someone, Eamon's wife probably...and then? We send someone else into the fade; Wynne? Or Morrigan? Who would you ask to risk their very soul in combating a demon able to summon an entire army?" _I hate you_. "And if she failed? We would have lost one of our companions and still have to kill Connor. Three lives lost." _Damn you_... "It was too risky, you know that." "_You cold, callus, bitch "_So I did what was needed to be done." She shrugged.

_Shrugged_. 

"_Wrong_!" Alistair growled, his right hand coming up. The neck suddenly squeezed in his hand was thin, smooth and cold. It would take so little..._so_ little... "You killed a child! A _child_! You cannot reason that away! You committed an atrocity so great it's a wonder the Maker himself doesn't strike you down! How can you even stand to look at yourself in the mirror!? Huh!? _How_!?"

Lynn didn't reply, her face suddenly twitching in a small grimace of pain even as she continued to look back at him with the same uncaring gaze.

Then Alistair realised he had lifted her off the floor.

"Oh..." His anger slightly tempered by guilt he lowered her back down to the floor and released his grip on her throat, a red mark now covering the pale skin where he had gripped her. "...this doesn't change anything though..." Alistair glared at the woman, tried to force all his anger into his gaze. "...child-killer."

"You know I'm right." There was no anger in the eyes looking back, nor shame. She remained _uncaring_...and _right_.

Alistair felt his shoulders slump in defeat and looked away, unable to look at the woman any longer. "Go to hell."

"I guess that means you're seeing reason." Lynn muttered and squared her shoulders. "Now...excuse me....I need...to freshen up." She turned and walked away, swiftly disappearing around a corner.

Lowering his head Alistair took a deep breath, and another, and another...it didn't sate him however. It all felt...unsatisfactory, as if he hadn't gotten what he wanted. _But I got to yell at her, what more could I want_?

_Great, just great, she doesn't care_..._but she's right_. Alistair shook his head, forcing his anger back. _I can't believe she doesn't care_!_ How could I have been so wrong about her_!? _How couldn't I have seen her for what she really was_!?

"I should by all rights blast you now." Blinking he turned and found Morrigan glaring at him, her arms crossed in front of her.

_Oh goodie_. "What do _you_ want!? Want to defend Lynn's decision to kill little children? Bet you had a big laugh in her room!"

The golden eyes turned into mere slits. "I care not for that child of yours..." _Big surprise_. "...but I'm surprised you don't realise that Lynn _does_. Or did that _obvious_ fact somehow escape your notice?"

"Didn't you hear? She doesn't care!" Alistair felt like punching the nearest wall, but settled for scowling at Morrigan even as a trickle of doubt wormed itself into his gut.

"'Tis curious...even _you_ should have seen the barely dried tears and the way she was shaking with sorrow...yet you didn't. Did you perhaps _choose_ not to see this?" _What_? _No_... The angry scowl broke no argument however. "Very selfish of you, _very_... " Morrigan hissed the last word, visibly struggling not to _actually_ use her magic on him.

_She can't_..._she couldn't_..._be right_..._could she_? Alistair took a step backwards, yet managed a scoff. "Oh? _You_ lecturing _me_ on compassion? This is a new one..."

Morrigan blinked and hesitated. "Perhaps..." The hesitation was quickly replaced by fresh anger. "...but that makes no difference. Now step aside so I can go find her before she hurls herself off the castle or something equally foolish."

"No." Alistair raised his hand as if in a dream, forcing the witch to stop as she moved to get past him and making her scowl at him. "I'll go."

_Maker_, _she's_ _right_, _isn't_ _she_? _And I said all those things_..._Lynn_..._I_...

"You have done _quite_ enough I'd say!" Morrigan snapped back and made another move to get past him, only to stop as he placed a hand on her shoulder, making her hiss in anger.

"No..." Alistair shook his head, heart dropping. "...I'll go...fix this." He sighed and looked down at the floor. "_Please_...let me."

He didn't like it, the display of _regret_, not in front of _Morrigan_, but he couldn't help himself.

"I..." The witch hesitated once more, apparently taken by surprise by his behaviour, a behaviour practically inviting verbal barbs, then echoed his sigh. "...very well." _Thank you_.Suddenly a sharp finger was jabbing him in the chest. "Fail and I'll skin you alive."

And with that Morrigan whirled about and marched away, muttering curses under her breath all the way.

Feeling his shoulders slump Alistair looked over at the end of the hall where Lynn had disappeared, trying to think of all the places she could go from there. _There's so many places_..._and I need to talk to her_. _Had she left so hurriedly_..._because she had been near breaking_? _Maker_..._and_ _I_...he felt himself deflate

_Maker, what have I done_?

Knowing fully well there were a hundred hiding places in the castle Alistair moved to follow Lynn. _Yet there are only a few places to go and think_...Alistair instantly knew where to go. _If she's not there then at least I'll have a good vantage point from where to look for her_.

_I can't believe I said all those things_..._what am I supposed to say_?_ Will she try to kill me_?_ Cry? I think I prefer the killing_..._why must I be such a fool_!?_ Here I've set out to be supportive of our leader and her burden and the moment she does something I crash down on her_! _Of course she hated the decision_..._how could I __not__ see this_!?

Pride, pride and the wish to blame someone else for something couldn't be avoided. _And I blamed the one suffering the worst of the event_...

He didn't like that answer, it shamed him.

The round balcony sticking out of the keep was far up in the air, too far for any bow to really reach it. Despite that its banister was nearly a solid wall except for a few holes in it shaped like leaves. The thing was of grey rock like everything else in the castle, yet more polished, a small piece of luxury on a castle designed for war. Sighing Alistair walked up to the bannister and placed his hands on its smooth surface as he leant forward.

The view was amazing, though with the darkness of the evening the distant forests and fields were just black shadows, the village far below looking more like a few boulders strewn together than a settlement. He could see the castle walls though, the few guards they had managed to round up slowly walking back and forth around them. There seemed to be no disturbances among them, everything was calm, relaxed. _Damn_...

"It is strange..."

Alistair jumped at the words. Turning he found Lynn sitting on the bannister on the right side of the balcony, her back against the wall, uncaring of the nearness to a very long fall. Her arms hugged her legs that were pulled up to her chin, making the dress on her look even more childish. She wasn't even looking at him, gaze distant as she stared into the horizon. "...I'm unsure if I even _want_ your forgiveness."

"Lynn I..." Alistair begun, but found no words as he took a hesitant step towards her. "...I..."

"Because if you _do_ forgive me, then it will hurt...and then things will get better...not sure why...but it _happens_." A pained laugh escaped the woman and she turned her head away. "But if you don't...then I'll be happy knowing I'm not the only one who hates me...I won't be alone."

_I_..._didn't_ _want_ _to_ _hear_ _that_. "There's no way to win when talking to you, is there?" _Yes, that'll help_.

Lynn chuckled dryly and turned her head back to look forward, her hands coming up to clutch at the back of her head, pushing it down into her dress. "I suppose there isn't...sorry."

Turning fully around Alistair put his hands back against the bannister and leant against it as he watched Lynn sit in her corner, nearly swallowed by the darkness as she continued to sit there. "You did what you had to do."

"Yes...yes I did." A sob disappeared into the dress as the woman pushed her head deeper into it. "Damn that forgiveness....damn it..."

"You aren't alone."

"No..." Another sob. "...I am."

"No, you're _not_." Alistair crossed the distance and grabbed Lynn by the arm. "And stop sitting so close to the edge, you're scaring me." He pulled her off the bannister, making her stumble as she slipped to her feet. Her face downcast. "Look at me."

A snivel. "No."

"Look at me." Alistair reached down, cupped her chin with one hand and forced her head up. _Maker_...even in the darkness he could see that she had cried, and had done so before...a lot. The wide eyes staring back held nothing but shame, guilt and pain...lots of pain. _How could I have missed this_!? He forced himself to meet her pained gaze though, to remain steady for her."You did what had to be done, and I'm still here, we're _all_ here, no one hates you...and we don't want you to hate yourself either."

The woman shook. "I..." She looked away, tearing her head out of his grip. "...see."

Letting his gaze linger Alistair felt himself grow weary. "To be honest I don't understand _why_ we keep at this." The woman shot him a confused glance as he stepped away. Chuckling he shook his head and went to lean against the bannister again. "We keep going at it, again and again... A huge task and a blight and we're _fighting_!" He shook his head. "Oh if Duncan could see this...we're supposed to support one another, _help_ each other, and it feels like we _try_...but every time it turns out _wrong_...I don't get it."

"That _is_ strange." Lynn agreed as she stepped up next to him, two hands coming down to lightly rest upon the bannister as she gazed over the dark walls.

"Not that we haven't _tried_ to hurt one another at times too." Alistair admitted, drawing an confused look from Lynn, that turned to a smile as he gave an awkward shrug. "Man that march to Orzammar...you nearly killed me you know." The smile turned into a small laugh, _very_ small...but it was _there_. "And Maker...how did you manage not to stab me in the kidney when I made you reread 'aesthetic' for the fifteenth time?"

The laugh slowed into a small chuckle as the woman nodded, then glanced over at him. "I suppose..." She glanced down at her hands. "...I bet this was one of your favourite places when you lived here..."

"It was." Alistair nodded, smiling and more then willing to distract her, if only for an extra moment. "I would come up here and sneak about, shooting imaginary arrows at the guards on the walls." Lynn smirked at the mental image, as did Alistair. "Of course the captain usually caught me... " _No need to mention I cut his throat less than a day ago_. "...he would give me _such_ a scary lecture...he threatened to take away my cheese!"

A laugh, a _real_ laugh, the woman shooting him a smile, her voice a little steadier. "Thanks."

"No. Thank you." Alistair drew a deep breath and felt himself flush a little as he looked away. "You made the call I couldn't, you've done it many times now, you get us all through this without even expecting some sort of reward but that of doing your duty. I didn't...well honestly I have had my doubts that you were serious about that considering how you always look for a reward along our travels. But here you _are_...doing things that nearly break you because it's your duty..."

Lynn moved to speak, but no words came as Alistair turned to face her, his left hand coming down to rest on hers. _Cold_... The eyes looking up at his were still wide and pained, but the tears had dried, her shaking reduced to a quivering.

"I think that is why I keep...saying these foolish things." He pulled her hands off the bannister and held them so he could warm the cold little hands between his own. "You're strong, so strong in fact that it's at times hard to remember that you're actually a woman with feelings like the rest of us...and I'm sorry that I've caused you pain because of this. You've done so much and...I know you don't think you require anything for doing your duty but...thank you...for what it's worth." He smiled awkwardly, not knowing what else to do.

_And this is_..._my __second__ turn blabbering gibberish to her_?

Lynn was staring at him, just staring. _Yes, second_..._good work there_..._idiot_. "You fool." The words were breathless, stunned.

"Yes, I realise I'm a fo-"

Lips.

Alistair blinked, trying to comprehend why Lynn was suddenly standing on her toes, pulling slightly at his hands holding hers...and pressing her lips against his.

He couldn't.

_Holy_...Alistair felt his face flush as one of her hands shot out of his grip and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him closer. _I_ _can't_..._I_..._how_... He just stood there, not knowing what to do, and let the experience wash over him. _Thank you_...feeling his legs wobble he grabbed a hold of the bannister with his left hand as his other moved up towards Lynn's face...

Then he suddenly found himself able to breathe again as Lynn drew back, leaving him to blink in confusion, still not truly comprehending what had happened. "I..." Lynn lowered her face, even in the dark evening Alistair could see her ears grow pink as the hand in his hair went down to rest against his chest. "...I have to..."

"Lynn..." Alistair continued to move his hand up, pulling some of her hair back he gently made her look up at him. The wide eyes staring at him seemed as pained as before, pained and afraid. _No_..._please_....

"I...I..." Lynn's lips quivered. "I have...." She looked away and let her hands drop to her sides. "...I have to go..."

_Please_...

"Lynn..."

"I have to go." She repeated, whirled about...and ran.

Alistair's shoulders slumped as he found Lynn swiftly disappear around a corner, leaving him alone, alone and confused. Shaking his head he moved a hand towards his lips, trying to force some reality into what had just happened. Oddly enough he still felt the imprint she had made on his lips, as if she had somehow burnt him. And he her.

..._don't go_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	41. Chapter 41

_Okay, come on, nothing to be nervous about_..._you're not in danger_.

_Riiiight_..._totally believed that_.

Shifting from one foot to the other Alistair took a deep breath, then another. Lynn's door remaining decidedly closed in front of him, as it had for the last five minutes he'd been standing there. Sure, he _could_ just open it...or perhaps knock since he valued his life...but apparently that required too much on his part. So instead he stood there, uncomfortable beyond words.

He'd finally managed to fall asleep last night, tossing and turning all the way, trying to think of what he had done wrong, or if he _had_ done something wrong...or if it had been _right_ or... To make a story short he hadn't managed to make sense of what had happened.

_She kissed me_..._that means something_..._right_? _Then again she wanted to sleep with me weeks ago_..._but this was something different, wasn't it_? _Yes_..._it has to be_. He swallowed, despite having gone through those very lines of thoughts dozens of times by now. _And what do I want_? The answer was a bit too easy...he wanted to talk to the woman he admired too much for it to be really healthy and speak of what had happened last night. _And then_..._well I wouldn't mind repeating the incident_.

Blushing at his candid thought Alistair groaned and glanced to his left and right, more then a little relieved to find there was still no one else in the hall.

At least he had finally fallen asleep last night...and promptly slept until midday, exhaustion finally catching up with him the moment he laid down on an actual _soft_ bed. He didn't feel too guilty about that though, they had all been tired, sleeping in was a nice piece of luxury they could all use for one night. And heck, Lynn was more tired than him, and probably _still_ sleeping.

_Should I disturb her then_? _Maybe I should wait_..._give her a few hours to wake up and such...she'll be less grouchy that way_. He grimaced at his poor excuse. _Then again I don't think her morning mood would be much of an influence when talking to me now_..._so I should knock_. _Though_..._having_ _that_ _conversation_ _while_ _she's_ _in what might_ _just be_ _a_ _robe_..._heh_..._eh_... He felt himself blush again. _No_, _that_ _wouldn't_ _be_ _smart_..._lets_ _just_..._I_ _should_ _go_..._yes_..._go_...

He got half a step sideways before he stopped himself.

_No, that's stupid, I shouldn't run away, not after lecturing her about turning away in fear_..._why did I do that anyway_? _Damn me and my words_..._now I have to talk to her_. _Yes....no need to panic_..._maybe it'll be easy and end with her punching me_? _That_ _would__ make things easier_..._then again she __never__ picks easy_..._dammit_..._or wait_..._that's_ _good_...he frowned in confusion..._right_?

_Right then_.

Sighing he straightened, walked up to the door and...before he could think too much...knocked the door three times, three _loud_ times...at least it sounded like that to him. _Sounds like the toll of doom_..._which_ _is_ _fitting_, _since_ _I'm_ _doomed_, _yes_, _doomed_ _little_ _Alistair_... D_oomed_, _doomed_, _doomed_... _Doomed little Alistair sitting in a tree_...

To his relief and disappointment the door didn't open.

_She must have heard that_. Alistair tried to knock again as he spoke: "Eh...Lynn? You there? I'd like to...talk." _Maker, does my voice __always__ sound so pathetic_? "Lynn?" He knocked a third time. "Lynn...come on...if you're there I'd really like to talk." _Actually no, but we need to talk so_..._Maker __I'm sweating like a pig_.

No answer.

_Oh come on_! _This is killing me_! "Lynn? I'm...coming in...okay?" _Maker let her not be naked_... Swallowing Alistair grabbed the handle and twisted it. "No need to throw things at me...especially _heavy_ things...here I come." Holding up his free hand to protect his face against any projectiles or...Maker forbid...glimpses of nakedness, Alistair went into the room.

There was no one there.

Blinking Alistair looked around the room. He couldn't see much sign of her having been there, her armour and weapons gone, as were any signs of clothes. The bed was unmade...and empty. _So she slept, then got up and got her armour_? _Well_..._I guess that's good, wouldn't trust this place anyway, not this soon_. He shifted where he stood, suddenly wishing he too had put on his armour. _Maybe she went to eat_?

Marching back out of the room Alistair headed for the dinning room, the nervousness growing with each step._ I could still walk away, she'll need her space anyway, later would be good_..._much later_..._when I've grown a backbone_..._and skin of iron_.

Noticing a guard next to the door leading to the dinning hall Alistair stopped next to the man, noting the man's splintmail was still a bit tarnished from the recent fighting...not to mention that the nervous looking man was sporting a black eye and a cut across the cheek. "Excuse me guard, have you seen Lynn Tabris?" The man blinked in confusion, his nervousness visibly rising. "The other warden? The elf? Has she passed by here?"

The guard vigorously shook his head, a bead of sweat running down to the tip of his hawkish nose. "N-no ser...no other warden...haven't seen h-her since the ba-battle."

_Of course he's nervous, with all the battling and what we did to the arl's son it's a surprise they still dare looking at us wardens_... Sighing Alistair nodded. "I see, thank you soldier." He forced himself to smile a little as he gestured towards the man's face. "You might want to put some ice on that...I'll get some sent to you if you just started your shift."

"I...just did actually, thank you...ser." The guard nodded, his nervousness slightly placated.

Nodding back Alistair turned to leave...then felt rather then heard the guard hesitate. Turning his head back he looked at the guard with a little smirk."Yeees?"

"Eh...ah...ser..." The guard shifted where he stood. "Ar-are we really going to war?"

Alistair blinked. _What kind of daft question is that_? "What do you mean? There's a blight pouring into the land and a civil war engulfing it at the same time...we're _already_ at war..."

"Well...ah...but there's no war in Redcliffe...ser..." The guard turned red at Alistair's frown. "...I just thought...with us being safe...eh...ser..." The guard went quiet under Alistair's gaze and begun inspecting his boots.

Alistair shook his head, suddenly tired. "You're anything _but_ safe here, so yes, I'm afraid you'll have to make an effort." Turning back he begun to march away, his mood souring. _A blight's around along with a civil war and everyone is thinking of their own little land and how to stay safe __there_..._bet Lynn would call me naïve for expecting otherwise_.

_Lynn_..._where_ _could_ _she_ _be_ _hiding_?

Then it struck him and he made for the balcony. _Good place to think, nice view, the air will do her some good_..._she likes it_..._of course she's there_. _It might even make things easier for me if she's in a good mood_..._actually, scratch the 'might'_.

Lynn wasn't there though, only a woman..._ish_ person. Leaning with her elbows on the bannister Morrigan was staring out at the horizon, looking for some sign that her witch friends would arrive to burnt he castle down for all Alistair knew.

"Morrigan, what a pleasure." Alistair scoffed as he stepped onto the balcony.

The witch flinched at his unexpected arrival, but didn't react otherwise.

"Right...polite as always, seen Lynn?" _Great, I'm so desperate to throw myself into the beehive that I'm asking the bear where it is_...

"I see her quite a lot." Morrigan scoffed and shot him a glance before returning to gazing out over the horizon. "Or have you forgotten I travel with you all?"

"Oh yes, because the constant chill running down my spine is easy to forget." Alistair chuckled. "No, really, seen her today? I checked her room and she wasn't there...and apparently she's not off eating either."

"I'm surprised you want to see her...and that you're still alive after going after her." The witch snorted. "Obviously she's too forgiving for her own good..."

"Hey, I'm not skinned alive am I? Perhaps she's rubbing off on you?" Alistair chuckled at the way the witch's shoulders tensed at the suggestion. "And yes, I _do_ want to see her, and no I'm _not_ going to hurt her again." He grimaced. _We'll see about that_..._Maker she's not standing behind me is she_!? He glanced back and drew a breath of relief as he saw no woman behind him. "Sooo....care to do me a favour and tell me where she is?" _Yes, I'm __this__ desperate, I'm asking __you__, get the taunts over with_...

"Rubbing off..." Morrigan scoffed, still not even deigning to turn to face him. "Why would you want to see her anyway? Didn't apologise enough last night? 'Tis not surprising considering how you hurt her..."

"Hey! I've already had my guilt trip thank you very much!" Alistair protested. "And you're acting _very_ weird...as to why I want to see her I don't really think that's any of your business."

"True, your business is your business, as mine is mine." Morrigan shrugged, _still_ not looking at him.

"Wha..._agreeing_ with me!? Now I _know_ something is off!"Alistair felt sudden fear run through his gut. _Damn, and here I thought I would actually get to enjoy some sort of normal relationship fear instead of fearing for life and limb_.... "Where's Lynn!?"

No answer, the witch just shrugging.

"Now listen you harpy, you'll tell me and you-"

"Warden." Turning to he source of the interruption Alistair found Oghren and sten in full armour, standing side by side in the entrance leading to the castle. Sten was the normal statue, Oghren looking equally unemotional for some reason. The dwarf echoed the qunari: "Warden."

"Hey guys..." Alistair managed an awkward smile, realising he hadn't spent all that much time alone with either of them, it had always been him and _Lynn_ with them...and now it felt a bit weird. Still, at least they were nicer than the uncommunicative Morrigan. "...what's going on? Have either of _you_ seen Lynn?" He shot a thumb back at the witch. "Morrigan here is as helpful as a tree."

"We have." Sten replied, Oghren glancing up at the qunari, but remained silent. "That's why we're here."

_Uh oh_... "She...she didn't sent you to beat me up did she? I mean I don't think she got _that_ upset..." Alistair felt his mood drop at the slow shake of Oghren's head. "...what's going on?"

"Lynn has taken Wynne, Zevran and Leliana on a little side-trip." Oghren replied, looking a bit awkward.

"Side-trip? Where?" Alistair frowned. _And why wouldn't she bring me along_?_ I __always__ go with her_... _Maker, she's not running away is she_? _No_..._not with the others in tow, why would she_? _And giving up on her duty_? _Not a chance_. _Okay_..._getting paranoid_... "Guys...tell me...please?"

Oghren and Sten exchanged a glance before the qunari spoke up. "She took those three because they could sneak past the horde of darkspawn the easiest." _That_..._doesn't really answer anything_. "Since they're going south." _South_? _But_ _that's_...

"Into darkspawn territory?" Alistair blinked, confused by the even gazes looking back at him. "And you _let_ her do this?" He shook his head, too shocked to come up with anything better. "Why?"

"She's to kill the witch of the wilds." Sten replied, calmly.

"You..." Alistair blinked, then slowly turned to stare at where Morrigan remained facing away from him. "..._got_ to be kidding. Morrigan?" The witch shrugged, nothing more. "_Morrigan_!? What did you tell her!? What did you _do_ to her!?" No answer, baffling Alistair. "She wasn't in a good place and you tricked her into fighting your mother!? Why would you even _do_ that!? What kind of...I thought...aren't you two _friends_!?"

No answer but a soft scoff.

"I..."_ Maker, the witch of the wilds_..._Flemeth_..._the great templar slayer_..._the mage of legendary power...and she didn't bring __me_!?_ I who's __good__ at fighting mages_!? _Not to mention that they're four against __Flemeth_! "...this isn't happening..." He whirled about to face the other two warriors, who _still_ stood in the doorway, _waiting_. "...we have to go after her."

"She ordered us to remain." Sten replied, calm as always.

_The hell she did_! "I don't _care_ about what she ordered! We can't let her face Flemeth without us!"

"We couldn't catch up with them now, and we would not be able to sneak past the enemy lines anyway son." Oghren shrugged. "She's on her own."

"The hell she is!" Alistair took a step forward...only to be roughly shoved back by Sten's hand. "What the...get out of my way!"

"She also ordered me and Oghren to ensure you did not try to follow." Sten replied, unfazed as always.

"You can't be serious..." Alistair glanced down at Oghren, then back up at Sten, finding both dead set in blocking his path. "Come on! You both understand she's being stupid! Lets just go and get her!" He moved again...

Only to have Oghren push him back. "No lad, we're staying here."

Alistair glanced from one to the other, considering his chances if he just tried to smash through them...they weren't good. _But_..._Lynn_..._why_..._why would you __do__ this? Do you have a deathwish or something_!? "Guys...please..."

The steady eyes looking back at his remained unaffected by his pleading ones.

_No, this isn't right, not after last night_..._why would she __do__ this_? _Morrigan_..._damn_ _her_..._she_ _tricked_ _me_! Alistair's head dropped. "Bet she has hidden my gear too...and told the guards not to let me out of the keep..."

"That is correct." Sten rumbled, unfazed.

"Thorough...not surprised." Alistair felt his shoulders slump. _This isn't right, I should be there_. _If she dies_..._Maker_..._if_..._no_..._that can't happen, not after all this, not for __her__ sake_! He whirled about to glare at Morrigan. _Not for __her__ sake_!_ Not to fight something that doesn't even have anything to do with the blight_!_ It's not right_! "Not surprised at all..." He hissed the words at the witch's back, wanting them to stab into her. Of course Morrigan just shrugged, not at all bothered by what her cruel game had started.

He wanted to yell at her, to kick her over the bannister, to do _something_ to her. But what good would that do? It hadn't helped against Lynn before...and _certainly_ wouldn't help to bring the woman back since Morrigan's claws had sunk into her. _If she dies_..._and I couldn't do anything_..._it's_ _not_ _fair_...

Taking a step forward he settled for hissing at Morrigan: "I hope you're happy now..." Deciding not to listen to Morrigan's taunting reply Alistair whirled about and marched towards the blocking companions. "Out of my way...I need to be alone right now."

To his relief they _did_ step aside.

_My room_..._I need to go to my room_...Alistair felt the tears suddenly coming, uninvited, unwanted.

_Lynn_..._how can you risk your life like this_?

He stumbled, suddenly feeling the world wobble, the guilt knocking his breath away as it rammed into him like a hammer. _Lynn_..._if_ _you_ _die_ _now_..._it'll_ _be_ _my_ _fault_... He took a shuddering breath and continued, struggling to reach his room so he could grieve over his own foolishness.

_I made you run away_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	42. Chapter 42

_I'm not running away_.

Lynn growled at her feet as they trudged on. So far they had been extremely successful in avoiding the darkspawn, Leliana's tracking abilities combined with Zevran's skills of stealth having paid dividend in keeping them undetected. As such they had entered the Kocari wilds largely unopposed, save the odd attack from starved wolves.

Still, the last three days hadn't been all silence and sneaking. Lynn had managed to distract herself with talking with Zevran, a lot. Flirting, talking of his past, just casual jokes...she had thrown herself into it, distracting herself as much as possible. And Zevran had been more then happy to oblige. She knew this was because he recognised someone of similar background, even if she never mentioned it, that he sympathised and wanted to return the favour of her sparing his life...and she was equally aware that she was taking advantage of that for all it was worth.

The guilt of that knowledge was just another pebble on the growing mountain.

Then there was the fact that despite their current journey having nothing to do with the blight, or that it would even yield any reward they might use to fight the blight...the three companions at her back hadn't questioned her order to go south. They might be doing it when she wasn't around...but around her they didn't even hesitate about what their duty was. _Such loyalty_...Lynn held back a snort...._I don't deserve it_.

Then there was the fact she was going to kill Morrigan's mother, and though Morrigan had _asked_ her to do it...Lynn knew it would hurt her friend to hear of her mother's death, despite the bravado of the witch. _Guilt, guilt_..._always_ _guilt_.

Mostly it was _Alistair_ though. _Why by all the spirits did I kiss him_? _What's __wrong__ with me_!? _And why does he keep having to say those wonderful things_? _Jerk_... It had been an impulse..._right, that's it_..._right_?_ How can I ever face him again after that_?_ Such a foolish thing to do_..._how did __I__ become the fool_!? _I should have brought him_ _for_ _this_..._I_ _should_..._but_ _I_ _couldn't_... She grimaced.

_I'm __not__ running away_.

Sighing she realized she was in another of her 'moods'. She had been very successful in remaining cheerful with Zevran, but at times...no matter what he said she couldn't help but trail off in depressing thoughts. Today it had happened after they had been forced to remain still and silent for a full two hours as a near endless column of darkspawn had marched past their hiding place....after that none of Zevrans jokes or flirts had elicited more then a monosyllable reply from her.

At least they were soon there, and when done they could return to 'safety'...she felt a shudder of dread at the thought. Safety...and Alistair...maybe they should just keep going?_ No, no that's stupid_..._but_..._well_...

_I'm __not__ running away dammit_!

"Um...hate to bother you..." Leliana's melodic voice cut in, a finger tapping Lynn on the shoulder, making her jump in surprise. "But...we have company."

"What?" Lynn looked up and saw..._her_. "Oh." Atop the hill before them the old woman stood as still as a statue, looking down at them.

_This isn't right, her house is still some distance away_..._how could we just have bumped into_... The smug smile aimed her way said it all. _Oh crap_.

"Welcome back warden." Flemeth looked a little older, her face as if it was really carved wood, covered in heavy lines. Her body was scrawnier, gnarled to the point it was just pale skin drawn taut over brittle bones. Her hair wasn't even grey anymore, but snowy white, reminding Lynn of withered branches. Her green dress was if anything even more grimy...as if it was decaying along with her old body...yet the smile on her lips was confident, knowing, not at all afraid of the four before her. "Should I guess why you have come when the blight is not yet beaten? Or is that just a waste of breath?"

"Probably." Lynn replied, drawing her weapons as the three at her back fanned out. "We're here for your head."

"Haha! Oh how quaint...and here I thought you were here for a _book_." Flemeth's smile widened. "Though I suppose my death would be part of the course...little Morrigan always was a good student of how to survive." The witch scoffed. "Then again I thought the same about _you_...yet here you are."

"A threat?" Lynn arched an eyebrow, all too aware that the witch before her was anything _but_ harmless. "I've faced abominations before, not to mention darkspawn the size of houses, the idle threats of an old woman don't scare me."

"Abomination am I?" Flemeth scoffed. "And I was merely making an observation, surely there is no harm in that? Or do you wish to do battle already?" She crossed her arms in front of her in expectation. "It seems so unlike you."

"Don't pretend to know me." Lynn snapped, then narrowed her eyes at the witch. "And what else is there but battle?" She raised a hand to stop the protest about to escape Wynne's lips, knowing the mage wouldn't want to even _hear_ the words of the apostate

"First time we met you offered a trade, did you not?" Flemeth chuckled at the sudden interest in Lynn's eyes. "Or is there no chance at that? I remember a woman that was very..._practical_, or has that changed?"

_Has it_? Lynn wasn't sure. "What do you propose?" _Alistair would never_..._no_..._shut up brain_.

"The trade is simple, and _generous_." Flemeth cackled at her words, as if it was some sort of joke. "You get the grimoire, it is nothing to me, and I get to keep my head...such as it is." Another cackle, the eyes twinkling with amusement. "You get to keep Morrigan for your little fight with the blight, she is all a twitter to have my grimoire...and I remain the happy mother." 

"Happy mother who will steal her daughter's body." Lynn retorted, feeling her hands tighten around her weapons at the thought. _You'll leave her alone_...

Flemeth smiled. "Is that what she's told you? Tell me, did you actually _read_ that? Or did you just _believe_ little Morrigan?" Lynn blinked, unsure all of a sudden. "She's as manipulative as me...I'm quite proud of that actually...but do you _really_ want to fight me because she's told you some fairy-tale?" Flemeth chuckled. "Not very smart, and you're _smart_...aren't you?"

_Smart_..._yes_..._I'm_ _smart_... Lynn shuddered, old childhood memories digging into her all of a sudden.

"Will you just believe her little tale and fight me? Risk your life and that of your friends by the words of a woman you by now _must_ know to be far too clever for her own good?" Flemeth shook her head, a fake pout on her lips. "Tsk, tsk...not very smart at all is it? I offer a good deal here, one that leaves you in control of what happens, with no risk, no danger, only again...surely this is the best choice of action?"

_It is_. "It is." She raised a hand to stop Wynne's protest once more.

"Excellent! It's so good to see that you still know reason!"

_But_... "But..."

"Eh?" Flemeth blinked, surprised.

"You don't know _everything_." Lynn growled, feeling her resolve strengthen. "First; I trust her word more than I do yours."

"Trust? You trust little Morrigan?" Flemeth scoffed.

"I do." Lynn nodded, chin held high. "Second; she's my friend, and I am _loyal_ to my friends, something you don't seem to understand."

"Friend?" Flemeth raised a thinning eyebrow in amusement. "You're willing to risk your life, everything...for a friend?"

"I am." Lynn replied, feeling whatever was left of her hesitation fade away._ I remember my lessons in the alienage, I remember where I come from, do you_? _Or has power blinded you_? "Now prepare to meet the Maker, or whatever foul thing you pray to."

"I have no need for your Maker." Flemeth's smile turned into a thin line of irritation. "I need no demon or power but that of my own, which you'll soon learn."

At Lynn's back Zevran scoffed. "Is this where I quake in my boots?" Drawing a chuckle from Lynn.

Flemeth's smile quickly returned. "Oh yes, yes it is." She began to shift...

Taking a step back Lynn watched the brittle little woman change, her body glowing as her skin grew and warped, turning into purple scales. _Oh right, shapeshifter_..._wonder_ _what_..._oh_..._you_ _got_ _to_ _be_ _kidding_... The pair of wings suddenly exploding from the woman's back were large and leathery...and reminded Lynn all too well of something equally large she'd met in the deep roads.

"Zevran?"

"Yes warden?"

"Next time...shut up."

_That's one_ _big__ dragon_..._wait_..._did I just think what Alistair would say_?

Lynn didn't get much of a chance to think about it though, since the beast was already snapping at her, making her leap to the left as the massive jaw crushed the air she had occupied. "Zevran! Flank! Leliana! Cover and shoot! Wynne! Support!" The orders were all she managed as a huge foot slammed into the ground she just rolled away from, thick claws gouging into the dirt. "_Now_!"

_Alistair would have met that attack head on, drawn its attention_...

An arrow bounced off the large head of the beast as it once more tried to catch Lynn with is snapping jaws, which she only barely dodged this time. A fist of magically contained stone smashed into it a second later, only to shatter without even leaving a mark. _This is bad_..._I could really use Alistair taking a knee right now_..._would launch me up at that thing_..._dammit_! _Stop distracting yourself_!

Rolling backwards Lynn pushed off with her hands and avoided another crashing blow of a clawed foot and landed on her feet in time to slash at the nearby head turning towards her.

It was like hitting stone.

_This is __really__ bad_!

Then Zevran was atop the back of the dragon, even the agile assassin wobbling as he ran upwards towards its head. "Here I come baby!" A flap of the dragon's wings and the man tumbled over to the left side of the beast, both daggers burying into the wing of the dragon and sending blood flying as they dragged down the length of it. "And there I go!" The cry almost disappeared in the howl of the dragon. There was a grunt and the elf rolled down the hill, his daggers held sideways so as not to stab himself as he tumbled away.

_It bleeds_. Lynn stared at the blood pouring down the side of the hill. _It's mortal_.

Running forward, Lynn dodged sideways as Flemeth turned her head and breathed a ball of fire towards her. Ignoring the scream of Leliana behind her Lynn leapt forward and buried her axe in the side of the open mouth, just inside the bottom row of teeth, sending dark blood flying into her face as the howling dragon pulled back in pain.

Suddenly airborne Lynn forced herself to hold onto her axe and move with the dragon's head as it snapped backwards...and then blindly thrust her sword forward as the dragon stopped.

There was resistance, a crunch, a lot of blood slamming into Lynn's abdomen and legs..._hard_.

Losing her grip on her sword Lynn flew backwards, clutched her axe to her chest, curled into a ball...and rolled with the impact as she fell to the ground.

_No one to catch me_...

Round, round and round she rolled...then she stretched out and fell onto her stomach, blinking to fight her dizziness and her sword-less hand coming up to wipe away the already caking blood covering her face.

She had rolled far to the bottom of the hill, right next to where Wynne was crouching over a wincing Leliana whose blackened skin had begun to heal under Wynne's healing spell.

Further up Zevran was ducking left and right, dancing away from the sweeping claws of the dragon who was jerking its head around to try and dislodge the sword buried into its throat just below the head. The blood was _pouring_ from the creature...yet despite that, despite the obvious pain it was in...it fought on, one of its claws brushing against the dodging assassin and sending him flying into a bush.

_Right, you will die now_.

Rushing forward Lynn saw the dragon turn its gaze back to her, the assassin gone for the moment. Despite the great wound it opened its mouth and sent a breath of searing fire right at her...and Lynn only raised her free hand to cover her eyes as she ran on.

_I could really use Alistair's shield covering me right about now_...

It _hurt_...but Lynn had suffered worse. Ignoring how hot her armour had gotten, the searing pain of what little exposed skin had been burnt, the smell of burnt flesh in her nostrils...she rushed through the fire and swept her axe into the snout of the beast.

Growling the dragon pulled back, a new flood of blood washing over Lynn, making her stumble as she leapt after the withdrawing head, axe bouncing off its chin as it pulled too far away from Lynn to reach...

And then suddenly plunged forward, right at Lynn who just had landed back on the ground, right towards her weapon-less arm, her sluggish right.

_No shield, he's not here_...the thought drifted into Lynn's mind even as she watched with detached fascination as the snapping jaw caught her arm, slightly curved teeth burying themselves into her chainmail, staining them dark with blood.

_Airborne_.

_Pain_.

Suddenly limp Lynn felt her back arch as she was tossed upwards by the swinging head, pain lazily drifting into her mind as she felt her back nearly snap at the harsh stop.

_Dropped my axe_...

She moved a hand up, slammed her fist into the snout of the beast breathing hot air into her face, large golden eyes narrowing at her, smiling at her.

_I know those eyes_...

A crunch.

_Pain_.

Lynn was dimly aware that she screamed, but couldn't really focus on it as she watched the dragon pull its head back...and then violently swing her downwards.

_I shouldn't have kissed him_...

A sudden stop.

_I shouldn't_...

Another crunch.

_Pain_.

She was falling.

_I_...

She hit the ground.

_Pain_.

She rolled down the hill, smearing the grass crimson.

_Pain_.

Finally she rolled into a tree, back slamming into it.

_Pain_.

Staring up she saw Flemeth look down at her from the hill, the dragon's mouth dripping with blood, both of theirs...and _smiling_.

Then Zevran was back on top of it, the assassin a mere blur as he shot up along its back, dodging the sweeping wing aimed to knock him off he leapt right at the creature's head with a loud cry...and buried his daggers into its eyes.

The howl was deafening, the creature rearing back, blinded and still spewing blood from its wounds. The whole head quickly became covered in blood as it poured from its ruined sockets and ran down its reared head. Zevran held on though, features split in an uncharacteristic angry grimace as he twisted his daggers about, forcing them deeper into the dragon's skull.

The dragon twisted its head, a clawed foot coming up to brush the assassin off...and then stopped.

And crashed to the ground.

_Good_..._good_... Lynn blinked, not really able to express her happiness of seeing the evil witch dead, that she had freed her friend from the threat of possession. Instead she turned her head right, to inspect the damage. _Oh_..._no_...

The chainmail had been torn right off her arm...which in turn had been completely skinned, leaving exposed muscles and tendons to twitch in a pain she couldn't really feel anymore. Blood was pouring from the limb...but quickly it was becoming less and less since it was attached to her shoulder by a mere three tendons...the seizable hole there steadily pumping out blood to rain over her twitching arm.

_No_...

"Maker!" Someone gasped, Wynne suddenly pressing a hand into Lynn's shoulder as her other hand went to the wound, white energy flowing into the wound to stop the pumping blood. "You're...Maker..."

"Heal it..." Lynn gasped, not recognising her own voice. "Heal it now..."

"Lynn I..." _No, I can't become useless_..._no_. Wynne's stricken face was turning into a blur. "...could do that but..."

"Do it..."

"It'll hurt..." _Ha_..._funny_... "...a lot." Wynne shook her head. "Like when you lost it...for...three days..."

"Do it."_ No choice_, _breathe_..._no_ _choice_..._breathe_...Lynn's eyes rolled back, despite her not really feeling her pain anymore. "Zevran." She could feel the other two rather than see them as they huddled up around her. "Gag me..."

"W-warden?"

"Darkspawn...hear...gag me..." She felt the man move to obey. "Leliana...Leliana...?" _Can't see_..._dark_..._too_ _bright_..._confused_....

"Y...yes?"

"Grimoire...get it..."

"B-but..."

"Now...I'll...be here...when...back..." _Heh_, _funny_...

"Y-yes...you better." A sob...and Lynn felt the woman move to obey even as dexterous fingers moved to open her mouth and move something hard and leathery into her mouth. _Good_...

She tried to focus, tried to see Wynne, instead there was only something dark in front of her, it might as well have been a tree.

_Do it_..she nodded.

Then arched her back as the energy slammed into her wound, seared her veins, set her flesh afire...and there was _none_ to comfort her this time, for _he_ wasn't _there_.

_Pain_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her aid._


	43. Chapter 43

Redcliffe was a little brighter than she remembered, the servants a bit less jittery, there were a few more guards, a testament that control had returned to the land...the place had begun to heal. Lynn had noticed it instantly when she'd arrived, despite the heavy weight of dread and guilt in the pit of her stomach...though at the moment she couldn't care less.

Glancing left and right, fearful of running into Alistair, despite knowing she would have to face him sooner or later, Lynn went for Morrigan who she now saw at the end of the hall.

_Why this place_?_ Why did you wait for me __here__ of all places_? Lynn grimaced as she watched Morrigan turn from having looked out towards the horizon where the sun was now rising, the witch's hands coming back to rest against the bannister as she fixed her golden eyes upon Lynn. _I don't want to be on the balcony_... Lynn could almost _see_ herself stand there, stepping up to kiss Alistair...see her mistake play out before her.

It couldn't be helped though, she couldn't well ask Morrigan to talk to her at some other place...she just had to endure the pain.

_Pain_...Lynn glanced at her arm. With her sleeveless tunic she could see that it was still very much attached to her shoulder, which was why she had picked the tunic in the first place, but it still felt...odd...a strange distant ache, as if it wasn't fully attached yet. Wynne had called it 'phantom pains' or something...but all Lynn knew was that the arm didn't feel like it was hers...despite it obeying her every whim just like it used to do.

_I don't want to think about that either_. Lynn's grimace got worse as she slowly crossed the distance between her and her friend. She had spent three long days and nights in agony, screaming herself hoarse, the only thing preventing their detection the rag stuck in her mouth, a rag she once had chewed right through. She had managed to stumble along with the group, but her being able to stand had been mostly owed to Leliana and Zevran taking turns supporting her intact arm as Wynne continued to pour her magical energy into the slowly healing wound.

Wynne had practically fallen dead the moment they've reached Redcliffe, exhaustion felling the old woman the moment she was done and they were in safety. To be honest Lynn felt like doing the same...but couldn't really bring herself to fall asleep as long as her mission wasn't complete...until she knew peace...or at least some semblance of it.

_But now it's done, I'm healed, we got the grimoire, everything is fine_...she glanced back again, half expecting Alistair to appear._ I don't want to see him, or I do but_..._I don't_.

"You are back, alive and well." Morrigan concluded as Lynn came to a stop in front of her. The witch smiled, faintly. "I am glad."

"Don't go all mushy on me now." Lynn retorted with a faint smile of her own, drawing a chuckle out of the witch.

"Mushy or no, it's a..._relief_ to see you unharmed." Morrigan admitted with a nod. _Wow_..._that was much coming from her_. Lynn smiled. "My mother is..._was_ very powerful...I must admit that I was a bit..._concerned_." Lynn's smile widened, making Morrigan scowl. "Don't give me that look! I was merely...thinking that...well...perhaps that the danger would...a bit much...and that there was...well..."

"I get it." Lynn smirked and raised a hand to stop Morrigan's uncharacteristic stuttering. "I too would have been concerned if our roles were reversed, that's what friendship is, isn't it?"

"I..." Morrigan blinked, mouth working open, no words escaping, then offered a brief nod. "...yes."

_She admitted it_. Lynn smiled. "So I guess you want that book now?"

"Very much so." Morrigan nodded, almost eagerly. "I will of course try to find some sort of..."

"We're past that, remember?" Lynn reminded the witch and pulled up the book she had kept hidden behind her back. Made of some strange leather and with a leafless tree stitched over its centre the thing was ominous and strange...but then again everything concerning Morrigan was. It was with a bit of relief that Lynn handed the heavy tome over.

"I..." Morrigan stared at the book now in her hands, a mixture of awe and reverence in the golden eyes fixed on the leather bindings as her free hand carefully slid over the cover. "...never thought I'd see this...not..." A slight twitch in the corner of her eyes. "...like this."

_Always trying to appear uncaring, I know you too well_...Lynn managed a weak smile, the lie easily slipping from her lips: "She didn't suffer."

"I don't care..." Morrigan snapped, then glanced up at Lynn's little smile. "...but thank you." Hesitation. "How...?" She looked back down at the book, unable to look at Lynn anymore._ Her mother's killer_..._I'm lucky she's so good at staying above her emotions_..._despite_ _what_ _she_ _may_ _claim_. "...no...that's not important." 

"She didn't see us coming." Lynn lied, the words easily coming to her as she watched the miniscule changes in Morrigan's face. "She died in her sleep...peacefully."

"That...is well." Morrigan looked away, blinked, then looked back at Lynn, a forced calm in her expression. "For otherwise you might not have had it so easy."

"Yes..._that's_ why it's well." Lynn smiled, but didn't wish to prod any further. _She wants to be alone now_. "So I guess I should be off then? I'm sure you have some reading to do."

"Yes....yes I do." Morrigan nodded. "Thank you, I don't think that anyone would ever do this for-"

"**Lynn** **Tabris**!" The roar echoed through the hall, making both women jump in surprise as Lynn felt her eyes widen with fear. _Oh no_..._I've forgotten what to say_..._and why did he call me by my last name_? She turned, unable to help herself. _Maker_...

Alistair had just woken up, or so his dishevelled hair said...not to mention that he was barefoot...and only dressed in a pair of leather trousers...Lynn blinked..._only_. Lynn couldn't really focus on that though, but rather at the fact that his eyes had sunk deep into their sockets, as if retreating from the outside world. On the worn look in his face...the fact that his expression was cycling between anger, relief, frustration and happiness...but mostly anger.

_Maker help me_. Standing rooted to the spot Lynn stared at the man as he marched up to her, a rush of anger and frustration barging right at her. For a moment it seemed as if he was going to crash into her, hug her or maybe tackle her over the bannister... _I would deserve that_...

Instead he came to a harsh stop mere inches from her, his frame dwarfing hers as he stared down at her, fury in his eyes. His right arm tensed up so much that the muscles begun to twitch as he raised it up to point at her, the finger as dangerous as a knife to Lynn's eyes as she watched his face turn red. "I could just...I should..."

_Here we go_... She lowered her head, surrendering.

Then she was hoisted up the air, crushed by arms as strong as vices, all breath knocked out of her by a hug that might as well have been the grab of an ogre for all movement it allowed her. "I'm glad you're alive." The words were breathed, nearly whispered into her ear.

_What_? _That's it_?

Then she was dropped back to the floor as the hands came to grab her shoulders, so hard that it hurt. It was nothing compared to the feel of the fury glaring down at her though. "I'm going to _kill_ you! Don't you _ever_ do that again! What were you _thinking_!? Oh I'm sorry, you _weren't_!"

"Morrigan..." Lynn began lamely, only to flinch at Alistair's angry scoff.

"_Morrigan_!? Well if _she_ calls I suppose it's okay for you to drop _everything_ and try to get yourself _killed_!" He stepped even closer, his anger so strong it radiated over her like heat, making her wince. His left hand still holding her as his right drew back to point that angry finger at her. _Maker_... "Not _only_ did you rush through darkspawn lines! But you did so with only lightweight fighters! Not a _single_ warrior as backup! And _why_!? So the two others could keep me _prisoner_ here! _What_ would have happened if you had been detected on your way!? _Huh_!?"

_We would have died_... "I...I..."

"You would be _dead_ now! _That's_ what!" Alistair finger finally came down, jabbing her right in the chest and making her wince, more due to his anger then any real pain. "And speaking of that...why didn't you bring _me_ along to fight Flemeth!? Arguably the most powerful mage in Ferelden and you don't bring _me_!? What's _wrong_ with you!?"

_You're right_... "I..." Lynn tried to take a step back, but found her legs frozen, leaving her to fearfully stare up at the raging man before her, watch his tense shoulders shake with barely contained anger.

"Yes _you_!" Alistair growled, stabbing her chest with his finger once more "You _idiot_! What in Andrastes name were you _thinking_!? You _know_ I would have been useful there! Yet you didn't bring me because you're a childish _idiot_! Are you so _stupid_ that you're willing to risk _death_ over some embarrassment and _awkwardness_!?"

_I_ _was_..._yes_..._very_ _idiotic_...

A third poke, this one nearly knocking her over. "And _now_ I get to hear from Leliana that you nearly _died_!" Lynn heard Morrigan's gasp of disbelief, but couldn't turn away, trembling under the onslaught before her. "And how would we have know of your death if it happened there!? _Huh_!? The last one of two wardens dead in a damn _forest_ while the other waits for her like a _moron_! Did you even _consider_ that!? Or what you've put the ones left behind, me among those, _through_!? Do you have any idea what a _hell_ this week has been!? I can't _believe_ that you didn't even _consult_ me before making this decision! This is the most _reckless_, _foolish_, _idiotic_ thing you've _ever_ done!" Alistair huffed, both hands coming up over her head before violently sweeping down, slamming into his legs.

Lynn felt herself shake as she stared up at the man, watching how a vein in his forehead had appeared during his shouting, visibly throbbing as he glared down at her, face red, breath coming out in heated puffs. His neck was equally red, corded muscles standing out, pale pillars in an otherwise burning red throat. Even his muscled chest was a little red from the shouting, heaving with deep breaths as he recovered, trickles of sweat running down it from his exertion. _Holy_...

"So..." He hissed the words through gritted teeth, visibly struggling not to continue shouting. "...what do you have to _say_ for yourself?"

"I..." Lynn blinked and looked down at her feet, trying to recover. _Okay, get it over with_...taking a deep breath she looked back up and forced herself to meet the glare burning into her. "You're right about everything."

"You're _damn_ right I'm...!" Alistair begun, then blinked, his fury marred by confusion as he looked down at her. "_What_?!"

"You're right." Lynn nodded, feeling an odd rushing feeling through her body as she relented. It was...a relief. "I _shouldn't_ have gone away like that. I _should_ have brought some extra support, I _should_ have brought you to fight Flemeth, I _should_ have thought things through. I _should_ have considered what I was risking beyond myself... I _should_ have consulted you." She sighed. "I...will do so from now on...okay? I...can only offer...my sincerest apology...I didn't mean to cause you pain...you _know_ this." It hurt to admit, but it was true. Lynn suddenly felt a little light-headed as she looked up at the man. _That_ _was_..._good_..._to_ _say_.

Alistair blinked, the redness of his face fading somewhat. "What? But you can't..._no_!" He jabbed her chest a fourth time, as the hand withdrew it curled into a fist as every muscle in the arm begun to twitch. Shaking his head Alistair groaned. "You can't just...I'm angry with you! Can't you just...gah!" He shook his head again, then scowled at her. "You are the most...annoying...frustrating..." His words came out in short breathless grunts. "...woman I've _ever_ met! By the Maker I should just...gah!" The fist came down, slamming into his hip as he vented his frustration on himself rather than her. "I don't know if I should _kill_ you or...!" His words died as he glanced over Lynn's back and at Morrigan, the redness returning in full strength, and Lynn couldn't help but feel a heat around her own ears. "...I mean..._gah_!"

Lynn just stood there, too afraid to know what to do, to even think.

"I...by all the..." Alistair sighed deeply and reached up to rub the bridge of his nose, his tense shoulders suddenly slumping. "...you're going to drive me crazy." A sudden laugh and the man looked down at her, his face a strange mix of sudden amusement and frustration. "You...crazy!" He whirled around and began marching away, his steps stilted, arms gesturing wildly into the air. "Crazy I tell you!"

Blinking Lynn felt whatever spell having befallen her lift away, leaving her dazed and confused as she stared after the retreating man.

"It's like she's from the spirit world! A trickster spirit sent here to torture me! Or maybe I'm dreaming and my mind is just messing with me!" The man continued to gesture even as he rounded a corner, his loud rant easily reaching Lynn's ears. "It's all a big joke on me isn't it!? The whole blight, everything, all one big game made to make me suffer!? And what's the chief implement!? A crazy woman bent on driving me nuts! It all makes sense now! I swear if I ever-" The rant finally came to an end as a door in the distance loudly slammed shut.

Lynn arched an eyebrow, not really knowing what to think._ Did he just_..._was_ _that_ _good_ _or_..._I_..._he_ _was_ _concerned_..._afraid_..._for_ _my_ _sake_..._and_..._I_..._did_..._eh_..._he didn't bring up the kiss but_..._did he_? _I'm_..._what_!? She only knew confusion.

"He's right you know..."

Turning Lynn found Morrigan's expression somewhat pained...and strange. _Oh_, _right_..._Flemeth_. "I'm...sorry I lied."

"I would have done the same." Morrigan offered a pale smile. "And...he's right." She shrugged. "I would have said it in fewer words...but that would have been far less touching I suppose."

_Touching_? Lynn didn't feel touched, she felt confused. Turning she looked back at where Alistair had disappeared to, trying to make sense of what he had said and why...and coming up with nothing.

Despite it though, despite her confusion, she smiled, _smiled_.

And she didn't even know _why_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her help._


	44. Chapter 44

It was good to leave Redcliffe, it was as if she had somehow left part of her guilt behind simply by marching out of the gate. It was a bit strange that she hadn't felt that when she lead the trip into the Kocari wilds...but Lynn suspected she had never truly left Redcliffe in her mind when she had moved to fight Flemeth.

_I __had__ been running away_..._and didn't succeed_.

The conclusion shamed her a little, but it was the only one she could draw.

_So what to do with that conclusion_? She took a deep breath and glanced over at Alistair.

So far none had pushed the pace in their journey towards Denerim. Lynn felt okay trailing in the rear, thinking mostly. And Alistair had so far made no effort to push them onward, staying in the middle of their little column and obviously in deep thoughts as well...none of which were revealed to Lynn's prying eyes. The only one stopping their march from slowing to a crawl was Sten...if it hadn't been for him Lynn was sure she would have barely managed a mile a day.

Which wasn't helped by the many breaks they took, officially to fix their gear and let Wynne recover, but it was really just the others enjoying some calm while she and Alistair circled one another like the stray cats she had seen in the alienage... _Though those had been fighting_..._but what are __we__ doing_? Lynn wasn't really sure.

_This is ridiculous_.

Since his yelling at her they hadn't exchanged a single word save those spoken when he was there when she woke up from another nightmare...and those were always carefully guarded words...unsure.

Lynn had to admit she felt a bit alone as of late.

Which of course led to the current situation, her idea...a strategic decision, a prioritizing. She knew she could just give the order to everyone, not look at Alistair...and hopefully get her will through without argument from the other warden who obviously had no wish to bring up their last encounter any more than she. _I could_..._but I made a promise_..._and I really ought to at least_..._Maker why must everything be so difficult_?

She glanced at the others for support or...something that might help her. There was nothing however.

Wynne was sitting on the ground with her legs crossed, her eyes closed, the mage's breathing heavy but slow as she meditated..._no_ _help_ _there_. Sten was at the outskirts of the little field where they rested, obviously trying to keep his back to Leliana that kept circling around him while playing her little lute, apparently trying to see what he was nibbling on and not being very subtle about it. _Neither any help_...

Oghren and Zevran didn't seem that helpful either, both sampling whatever different drinks they had managed to get their hands on during their stay at Redcliffe, and while Ogrhen was busy pouring large quantities down his throat instead of truly sampling Zevran spent half his time looking at Lynn...which she for some reason found a bit disturbing. _No help there either_... She glanced at Morrigan, the witch frowning at the ingredients before her as she made yet another poultice for them. _Really__ not a good choice for getting near Alistair_...

Which only left Alistair, the man sitting with his back to her as he was wont to do by now and carving another figurine by the looks of things.

_Okay_..._no biggie_..._just talk to him_..._he's already yelled at you_..._he doesn't even seem angry anymore_..._nothing to worry about_.

She winced, vicious scenarios of the two of them starting to yell at each other or him yelling at her running through her mind.

_Oh who am I kidding_? She grimaced. _Come on you big baby, it's just your fellow warden_..._nothing more_.

Not wanting to think about it any longer, because then she would just chicken out again, Lynn advanced towards the man.

Instantly the atmosphere changed.

Lynn could feel the others eye her as she advanced, she realised they all knew about the wardens argument...and apparently they were more then a little interested in how things would play out. Gritting her teeth Lynn ignored it, she could deal with those later afterwards. _What's so interesting anyway_?_ We've argued before, what, it's just interesting because he did the shouting or something_?_ Are they expecting something dramatical_?

_Maker, I __hope__ nothing dramatic happens_!

Finally Alistair seemed to sense the change in atmosphere as Lynn stopped a few feet away, her hand coming up to rub her left elbow._ Don't worry, there's nothing to worry about, just because you haven't really talked since he was yelling at you_..._would it be all that bad if I ran away now_? Visibly tensing the former templar laid his piece of wood and knife aside, the wood still not detailed enough to show what he was carving.

He turned.

"Hey..." Lynn licked her lips, unsure what else to say and rubbed her elbow furiously.

"Hey..." Alistair echoed as he rose to his feet, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck, his eyes downcast.

"I..." _Can't the others stop staring_!? She shot a glare backwards, making at least Leliana and Wynne look away while Zevran and Morrigan glared back. "...would...heh...need..." She shrugged and licked her lips again, feeling terrible awkward.

"You..." Alistair grimaced and shifted his feet where he stood, eyes set on looking down at the ground. "...need something?"

"Yeah..." Lynn shifted her feet, mirroring Alistair's discomfort. "...yeah..."

The man cleared his throat, the hand scratching his neck coming over to scratch his jaw. "What?" _No, not again please_... He blinked and looked up at her, eyes slightly widened. "Not that I'm trying to snap at you or...anything...heh...I mean...what could I...help with?"

_Whew_... "Well...opinion...your council...I promised...remember?"

"Oh..." The man's face reddened, as did Lynn's ears. "...yes." He cleared his throat and looked away as the hand returned to scratch the back of his neck. "Council...on what?"

"Well..." _Okay, here we go_..._moment_ _of_ _truth_. "...I was thinking...Eamon is safe now." She eyed Alistair carefully, trying to see the righteous fury return, the only thing she saw was more awkwardness though, which didn't really help her with her worrying. "So...maybe we could...now that we're passing by...go and get the help of the Dalish..."

Silence.

Alistair just stood there and stared at his feet, he might as well have been a statue...

_No, no don't, please don't, I don't think I could stand another_...

"That is..." He took a shuddering breath, his forehead creasing in a frown. _Maker, no, no don't, I wasn't thinking_!_ I didn't wish to_... "...a good plan." _What_? Lynn nearly collapsed, feeling all air rush out of her as she realised she had been holding her breath. "He's out of danger right?" Alistair made one of those adorably awkward smiles as he looked up at her. "He's safe and has lived for this long...it makes sense to try and catch a Dalish clan now that we're passing by where they travel."

_Maker_, _thank_ _you_. "I..._good_..." Lynn managed a shy smile and looked away. "...it's good that you agree...agreed then...we go south....good..." _Am I babbling_!?

"Eh...yes...good." Alistair agreed. "Though if we take too long we have to go back and...so...yes..."

"Well of course..." Lynn agreed, nodding a little _too_ fast. "...can't take too long...wouldn't be smart to stay too long...yes..."

Alistair suddenly chuckled. "How...how much do you want to bet that they have problems upholding their agreement?"

Lynn laughed, relief flooding her. "No bet mister!" _Did I just shout that_? Glancing at their 'audience' she bit her tongue. "I mean...we'll...see...yes..." _Is it just me or is it a very warm day today_? "Eh...yes...good...could we go now?"

"Yes, sounds good..." Alistair mumbled and reached over to get his piece of wood and knife. "Very good...we'll...go then...yes...go." He managed another adorably awkward smile. "So...we'll go." He moved towards her-

And suddenly Lynn was hurrying off, not really remembering even turning away from the man. "Right!" She raised her voice, trying to sound authoritative despite the slight crack in her tone. "Get up everyone! We're going south!" _Yes, south, fast, now, don't turn around, keep walking, I think my ears are on fire_.... She ignored the other's eyes as she kept talking. "Get up you lazy dogs! Seize the day and all that! Now _move_!"

To her relief no one said anything as they scrambled to obey her command. Ignoring that Lynn marched southwards as fast as possible, despite the fact that there probably was a better way to go south than to just go across the road and march straight forward. _Straight line's the best, yep, always, no need to think about it, no other roads, just march, yes, march_..._forward_..._not back_..._forward_.

She groaned a mere twenty steps later, hand coming up to pinch her nose. _That was embarrassing_..._how come the earth hasn't swallowed me yet_?

"We are to visit the Dalish, Kadan?"

Lynn blinked in confusion, then glanced over to her left where Sten had apparently caught up with her. _How come I didn't hear him of all people_!? _And_..._did_ _he_ _just_ _ask_ _a_ _question_!? _The only time he does that it's about the blight_... "Well I...yes." She finally answered, not really knowing what else to say.

"They are elves are they not?"

"Yes..." Lynn replied, confused by Sten's sudden desire to talk.

The qunari nodded, face unchanged as always, not showing any sign of what he thought of it. "Is these then your people?"

"Well...no...I guess." Lynn shrugged. "I mean they're elves, but they're the Dalish, not the ones living in the human cities, they bow to no human lord." She frowned, trying to think of how to explain it. "I guess you could call them a remnant of the old elven kingdom...they preserve the old ways, refuse to bow to the humans that once defeated them."

"Sounds like you admire them." _What the_..._what's with the qunari today_!?

"I...maybe..." Lynn rolled her eyes at her memories of as a child running around with a stick that was supposed to be a bow and 'shoot' the human guards when they weren't looking. "Wanted to join them once when I was younger, be a noble warrior with my _own_ kind, in my _own_ kingdom...shoot the evil humans and sleep under the stars....a child's dreams I suppose." She shrugged. "I guess...some of that still lingers, never heard an elf in the alienage say a single bad thing about the Dalish, they are respected, admired...by those that _are_ my kind. Does that make sense?"

"It does." Sten nodded, once. "People are never simple, they cannot be defined as one."

"Too true..." Lynn nodded, far too aware that it applied to elves, qunari, dwarves and _humans_ alike..._don't look back dammit_! "...but it will be interesting to see if they hold up to my expectations."

"Most things don't." Sten remarked with a shrug.

"Too true again...you're a fountain of wisdom when you talk, you know that?"

"I talk when it's needed." Sten replied, unfazed. "Now, how will we find these dalish?"

"We have quite a few here who can track..." Lynn blinked. _I talk when it's needed_...she suddenly smiled. "Hey Sten...thanks."

"You're welcome." The qunari offered her another steady nod. "Now, the dalish, speak."

"Yes..." Lynn's smile got a little bigger. "...well I was thinking..."

88

The forest was thick, but not so thick that they couldn't walk two next to one another...which unfortunately for Alistair didn't mean he got to walk next to Lynn and get her to open up a bit more by talking to him. Instead it put him next the _other_ elf, an elf that apparently had made it his business to openly leer at Lynn's backside as she walked at the head of the group along with Sten, talking his ear off by the looks of it.

_It's a nice backside though, so I can't blame him_. Alistair blinked, his entire face flushing at the thought. _I_ _did_ _not_ _just_..._by all the_...._what's wrong with me_!? He shot Zevran a glare. _This is your fault, somehow, I just know it_...._stop staring_!_ You're going to make me stare_!_ Stop it_! Of course the assassin didn't hear him, his mouth curling into a grin as he continued to stare at the other warden. _Dammit_! _She's_ _not_ _for_ _leering_ _at_! _Stop_ _it_! Alistair sighed, disappointed that he once again had failed in developing mental powers.

_Maybe I should just whack him over the head and get it over with_?

Sighing once more Alistair looked away, somehow hoping that by looking away from the assassin it would make him look away from the other warden...he found his gaze slowly drawn back towards her. _Great, cold water_..._I need cold water_..._and someone to bang my head into the wall, by Andraste's sake it's not like we're actually_...

"I have a wonder, if you'd indulge me." Zevran interrupted Alistair's thoughts, his voice laced with smiles. "You have feelings for this other warden, yes?"

"Wha...I..." Alistair blinked, staring at the man next to him as if he had turned into a viper. _Bet he is one, in elf form_...

"Ah, cat got your tongue? There are worse fates for it I suppose." Zevran chuckled, then shot Alistair a friendly glance that for some reason felt anything _but_ friendly. "I do wonder if you are not setting yourself up for disappointment however, she is not your type, yes?"

"Oh _really_?" Alistair managed, anger helping his voice back. "And why is this? Did I miss some sort of sign on her back saying; 'not for Alistair' or something?"

"I supposed you were smart enough not to need one." Zevran chuckled, making Alistair grit his teeth. _Why that little_... "Have you somehow forgotten that you have nothing in common with the wonderful lady ahead of us?" Zevran nodded towards the woman, leering at her backside once again for good measure, making Alistair clench his fists in impotent rage. Is..._is he trying to make me punch him or something_? "You are a prince are you not?"

"Bastard of a king thank you very much, not royalty, and what does that have to do with anything?" Alistair grumbled, annoyed that his origin had slipped out among the group after the events at Redcliffe, despite knowing it had just been a matter of time.

"Lesser men have become kings." Zevran shot Alistair's horrified expression a smug look. "Not to mention that she's an elf, you have noticed this I assume? No? Yes?"

"She doesn't care about race." Alistair scoffed, a little tired of people pointing that out. _If random strangers telling her she's an elf as if it was some great secret wasn't enough_..._now the ones in our group does it too_! "Neither do I."

"Oh but she _does_, it's a hard habit to kick yes?" Zevran smiled, broadly, making Alistair squirm. _She doesn't_..._does she_? He glanced back at Lynn, worried all of a sudden. "While I'm both an elf _and_ from similar background, we knew one another before we even met."

"Before you tried to kill her you mean." Alistair pointed out, making the elf grimace in irritation. _Yes_! _Woho_! _Burn_! Alistair somehow managed to keep his expression neutral as he cheered at his own cleverness. "And what do you know of her background anyway? Has she told you anything?" His own words killed his happiness. _Maker_..._she hasn't_..._has she_?_ I've known her for ages and only know her cousins names_..._and she probably told me that by accident_. "Has she?" He glared at the assassin, daring Zevran to lie to him.

The elf snorted. "_That_ is not needed." _Whew_. "I recognise her background, it's nearly the same as mine. I can offer her far more in the way of understanding her."

"Your background isn't what defines you though, it's what you do with it that's important, that defines you." Alistair growled, irritated with the little man next to him. "I may not know who she _was_, but I know who she _is_...and you _cannot_ claim the same."

There was a snort, but nothing more, from the elf. The man turning to look at the forest around them with disinterested eyes.

_Yes that's right, shut up you little jerk_... Alistair didn't knew what brought on this sudden idea of Zevran's to try and snatch Lynn away from him..._ Yeah, like I even have her, _Alistair grimaced...but Alistair wasn't about to let the man walk all over him.

_Maybe something happened while they were at Flemeth's_?_ Leliana did mention Zevran helping Lynn to stand as they walked back a lot after all_..._or maybe he's just a jerk_. He shot the assassin a glare.

"You _do_ know..." Zevran begun again, looking straight ahead with a wry grin on his face. "...that I've lain with her right?"

Alistair flinched. "I...yes..." _How could I not_? _It had been the longest night in my life, if you discount the ones when I waited for her to return from Flemeth's hut_... "I remember. I was close by, remember?"_ That's why she did it_..._the only reason_... Alistair took comfort in the thought even as insecurity dug into him.

"Were you? I wasn't paying attention to that so much, I was more focused on the subtle skin under my fingers, that cool flesh so smooth..." Zevran sighed teasingly, as Alistair heard his gauntlets creak from the tight clenching of his fists. "...the cries and gasps...she has quite a repertoire, not to mention that cute little dimple just under-"

"Enough." Alistair snapped, shaking his head furiously. "I know what you're playing at, I won't punch you, I won't make a fight that'll end up with me being disgraced, so just stop it." _There, yes, it felt good saying that, I'm putting my foot down_.

"Oh? I would never _dream_ of doing such a thing." Zevran taunted. "I was merely expressing just how great a time I had, far greater than anything she's ever treated you to I'm sure." He grinned at Alistair's hesitation. "Isn't that so?"

Alistair's hesitation died almost instantly though. _No, no it isn't_. The haircut, the many nights talking of her dreams...moments of grief and strife mostly...but all far greater moments of her life..._that she had shared with me, not you_, _that she had wanted to share with me rather than you_. _What is sex to her_? _Nothing_. _She_ _wanted_ _it_ _with_ _me_ _before_..._all_ _that_ _happened_ _after_ _it_... And then the kiss, the short little kiss that had felt like it had dragged on for ages..._the_ _kiss_.

"What are you _smiling_ about?"

Unable to help himself Alistair's smile grew. "Tell me...have you kissed her?"

"I have kissed her in _many_ places, each one as pleasurable as the next." Zevran chuckled, but it was a dry chuckle.

"Yes, but have you _kissed_ her?" Alistair's smile widened at the bewildered look in Zevran's eyes. "Didn't think so." He turned back to look forward, feeling awfully smug all of a sudden.

"You cannot possible think that..."

"Want to know what I think?" Both men jumped in fright and looked back to where a scowling Morrigan and a giggling Leliana was walking. _Maker_... Morrigan's scowl only grew as Alistair went red."I think 'tis lucky for Lynn that she's not close enough to hear this drivel."

"Yeah, shut up for one bleeding moment!" Oghren barked from behind the women. "Bloody horny surfacers talking until the bloody sky crashes down..."

Zevran only chuckled as Leliana managed to recover enough to speak through her giggling: "This is so adorable!"

"Ah...well...we were just..." Alistrair tried, feeling his face light up as he pointed a finger towards Lynn.

"Trying to drive me mad?" Morrigan filled in. "You've succeeded." She shook her head and rolled her eyes at the two men. "Now shut up before I poison your cheese."

"Yes ser, shutting up." Alistair complied all too readily and turned back to their path, all too willing to forget about the discussion, _or_ that he for some reason hadn't died of embarrassment yet.

And behind him he heard Leliana moan in disappointment. "Awww...I wanted to hear _more_!"

_Maker_...

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	45. Chapter 45

They had found the Dalish.

And Alistair had been right.

Even now Lynn sighed at the familiar realisation that she had a lot of fighting ahead of her to get what she wanted. It was...tiresome...but she knew they would get it done, as they always did. Sure, they might die, there was always that risk...but by now that danger was so familiar that the idea didn't really occur to her.

Sitting on a small fence the Dalish had erected around one of her wagons she watched the others sit in the grass, readying weapons and armour that were already fixed, technically they were already ready to leave. But Lynn knew better than to order the march just yet, they needed the time to mentally prepare for what lay ahead. Instead she watched the others as they easily ignored the staring Dalish while dwelling in their own little world...preparing for the task at hands.

_The Dalish_...

Lynn frowned as she glanced away from her companions and over the camp of the Dalish. All around them the men and women, all elves, walked around, tending to their work. All of them carried themselves with pride and confidence... Even with so many of their warriors on their deathbed and the anxiety of the werewolves closing in on them they remained proud and defiant, the noble descendants of theElvhenan_._

Lynn scoffed.

She had been in awe when first confronted by the Dalish scouts, enough to ignore their derisive snorts and threats. She had been in awe when first brought to the camp by the humbled scouts, enough to ignore the decidedly unfriendly glares of the elves around them.

For it had been the Dalish! The legendary people she had only dreamt of meeting! She had even met the keeper! A soft-spoken man whose every word was full of ancient wisdom, all the more obvious by the fact that the man _was_ ancient! A testament to the old immortality of the elves was returning!

Then her awe had faded.

The Dalish _were_ proud. Each one looked her in the eye, defiantly daring her to question their right to be so. Each one practically jumping at the opportunity of someone criticising them, for they were the elvhen, the true elves, and no flat ear or shemlen should even imply that something was amiss when it came to them.

The Dalish _were_ noble. Each one carried themselves as well as any human noble, for they were each a noble in their own right, they lived free and without masters to crack their whips at them, unlike the alienage failures. And as noble free elves they despised any human, for they were _not_ noble, they were _dirt_. Lynn had been close to getting to blows about that once already.

She had at first asked them questions, talked to them.

They _had_ talked back, the fact that she was a grey warden mitigating the fact that she was a flat eared alienage elf that had surrendered her noble origin for the scraps the humans deigned to throw her...which of course hadn't been mentioned but been made abundantly clear. The talks always ended the same though, it had always ended with them speaking of the end of their once great kingdom and how they once would reclaim what was theirs...always with a semi-hostile glance at the humans at Lynn's back.

They _had_ answered her questions as well. But it had always been answered in a coddling tone, as if she was a child that couldn't truly comprehend of the glories they spoke of. It was as if they helped her with her ignorance out of charity more than anything else, not really expecting her to gain anything of it. Because she was a flat eared little slave who couldn't possible appreciate what they were telling her, who might be saved from continuing her pathetic path...but who wasn't really worth the effort of helping out of it.

So she had stopped talking to them, stopped asking them questions, save those that might aid her in her mission. And even then she endured the answers with cold politeness, thanking the Maker that the others had patience enough not to get angry despite the glares and scoffs.

For the Dalish were proud, defiant, noble...and _arrogant_.

Many clearly saw the need to ask an outsider, elf or not, as an insult, something striking at their pride and greatness. It didn't matter that dozens of elven lives might be saved with the help of the outsiders, that their clan might live on, a life indebted to an outsider wasn't worth living.

_Was I ever that arrogant_? Lynn had a hard time imagining it.

And the incessant repetition of how glorious past their past was....it was really getting on her nerves. Every conversation was laced with it, how _great_ the elves had once been, how much they had _lost_ but would one time _regain_. They spoke of their culture, how they embraced it. As if the fact that they used every opportunity there was to use what little phrases remained of the ancient elven language wasn't enough....

_You might despise the human language_..._but at least with __it__ you can hold a full conversation_! Lynn shook her head at the foolishness.

It was so obvious. They embraced what little knowledge that remained of the old ways, their gods, the craftsmanship and tattoos, the few words that remained...they clutched to them like a shipwrecked to a piece of wood. It was all that they had, their world. It was..._frustrating_ to even think of pointing it out... Why didn't they make _new_ words? Create a _new_ language? Why didn't they create a _new_ culture that didn't cling to a mere partial knowledge? Why didn't they try to make something in a _new_ way, rather then try to remember an old way?

_Pride_.

_Arrogance_.

It had taken Lynn an hour...and then her fascination was gone and left her with but one conclusion...she didn't _like_ the Dalish. They were arrogant, insular little inbred communities that barely cared for anything but the shreds they remembered of a distant past and their own little lives, lives that they purposefully kept away from any contact with the outside world. Even the grey warden treaty was barely tolerated, it was just seen as an opportunity for them to reclaim their lost lands, lands they could barely define anymore, by helping against the blight.

_Selfish_.

At least Lanaya was somewhat easier to deal with, something Lynn attributed to the woman actually coming from somewhere else and having to earn the respect of the Dalish. The fact that Lanaya had somehow managed to become Zathrian's first somewhat helped Lynn's impression of 'her' people...but only a little. And she too questioned the werewolves attack as being something completely mindless, the only critical voice Lynn had heard in the camp so far...and a welcome one to Lynn who wasn't completely sold on Zathrian's claim of the werewolves being simple beasts.

_Aren't the Dalish masters of handling beasts_?_ Then why would these werewolves cause more trouble then bears or wolves_? _And an ambush_..._even Zathrian was puzzled by that, then again I would be too if I couldn't bring myself to tribute them to some intellect_. She frowned and shook her head, suspicions whispering in her ear. _Does it matter though? They kill the Dalish who I need_..._so therefore we need to kill them to get our allies_..._yet_...

"It doesn't make sense...why would they ambush the Dalish if they're mindless?" Lynn shook her head again, not knowing what else to do. "It doesn't add up...a clever ambush requires intelligence, and an intelligent person needs a _reason_ to attack someone...I don't get it..."

"Oh?" Alistair queried, the man stood leaning against the fence to her right, smiling...and one eyebrow teasingly raised. "So we're _not_ going to charge in to slaughter all so you can get your allies as swiftly and easy as possible?" Lynn felt her ears flush under her hair as the man grinned. "I'm shocked."

"Oh shut up..." Lynn looked away, biting her lower lip. _Yes_..._we're not_? She blinked at her answer. _No, we're not_. Part of her said she would have seen the trickery before, at the start of their journey, she _would_ have realised something was wrong. _I __would_..._but I wouldn't have __cared_. It was a bit of a shock to realise that. _I want things to be made right_..._if it's within my power to do so_..._strange_..._especially since I don't actually like these people_.

_Justice_. She glanced back at Alistair. _Righteousness_. The man arched an eyebrow at whatever he saw when he looked back at her. "What?" He moved a hand to his mouth. "Don't tell me I have cheese on my chin..."

Lynn laughed, then looked away, feeling that irritating flush in her ears once more. "No...not at all...fool..." _You've corrupted me_..._I'm not thinking smart anymore, if this gets us killed I'll never forgive you_... "No, we'll find out what the truth is...and then act from there, we need our allies...but I won't help them commit a wrong."

"_Reaaally_?" Alistair teased with a chuckle. "Well aren't you the knight in shining armour?" He shot an elbow into Lynn's side. "What brought this on? The Dalish?" There was a grunt of irritation from Morrigan at the mention of their hosts, that the woman hadn't yet blown apart any of the elves was impressive, yet a mere ten minutes after they had entered the camp the woman's normally pale complexion was a bit flushed. A sure sign that she was visibly struggling not to destroy the camp over the snide comments and insinuations shot at the humans in the group.

Lynn continued to look away, not able to meet the inquisitive warden's eyes. "No, they didn't." _You did_. "Perhaps we should get a move on?" She jumped off the fence, shooting her right arm a glare of irritation. Sten had fixed her dwarven mail where it had been torn off...yet it felt wrong somehow. It was as if a single link was missing somewhere, which it wasn't...yet..._and that my arm doesn't feel like it's my own doesn't help either_. Pushing aside the unreal feeling of her right arm she focused on the companions as they smoothly came to their feet, ready to fight, and possibly die, for her.

_Maker, how did this happen_? Lynn found herself beaming with pride at them, her _friends_.

"Zevran, you scout for Oghren, Sten and Wynne. Head north and check those areas for werewolf activity. Leliana, you're mine, Alistair's and Morrigan's guide." The orders came easily, automatically, they were logical, simple...and spoken on reflex. _Me leading all of these people_..._who could have known_? Lynn frowned, surprised that she was thinking about that all of a sudden. _Must be the presence of the Dalish bringing it all on_...she shot Alistair a glance..._does he agree with the order_?

Noticing her glance the man shot her a small smile and a nod. _Heh, good_...Lynn looked away.

"I won't go with you?" Zevran suddenly spoke up, blinking in surprise Lynn saw the other elf frown at her, then Alistair. "But he is?"

"I always..." Lynn swallowed, suddenly realising how many toes she was stepping on...and how true her words were...but for one exception. "...bring Alistair." _Maker_..._I have haven't I_?_ He's never left my side_..._always there to fight with me_..._Maker_..._what does that mean_?_ I mean he's good in a fight, very good, but_..._is that the only reason_? _It's not_..._is it_? She glanced at the former templar, watching his flushed face of embarrassment as he glared at the assassin. "It's just...always like that...it's...logical." _No, I could switch him with Oghren or Sten_..._but_ _I_ _won't_. _Maker_..._what_ _is_ _this_!?

"I...see." Zevran nodded, then snorted as he shrugged aside whatever other question was at the tip of his tongue. "Very well, stay safe, the crows can be found anywhere after all."

"Then _I'll_ guard her." Alistair growled with surprising hostility, making Lynn shoot him a questioning look. _Why is he glaring at Zevran_?_ And why is Zevran glaring at him_? _They can't_...she saw Leliana's little smile in the corner of her eye..._oh_. "I'm sure I'll do a good job, she won't lose _any_ limbs on my watch." _Oh_... Lynn's mouth turned dry. _Maybe sleeping with Zevran was a bad idea_...

Zevran opened his mouth to retort, but Lynn was quicker. "Right, very chivalrous of you Alistair, I'm _sure_ I won't be able to protect myself." She shot the man a quick smile, hoping to placate him. "And I'm sure there's lots of crows in the forest, along with every other bird." She shot Zevran an equally quick smile. Then she took a deep breath, forced herself to ignore the eyes of the two men and said: "Now lets go, I'm bored and want to kill something."

Walking on she forced herself not to glance back, not to see what the others were doing. It wasn't too difficult though, her mind too occupied to care too much about the brewing conflict behind her, it was _nothing_ compared to her own after all. Of what she _felt_, of her _confusion_, her _realisation_.

One of her hands ghosted down to the pouch in her belt, to the little silver trinket safely tucked within it...and the most valuable item she knew of at the moment. She bit her lip as she felt its weight, its _importance_...to _him_...and to _her_.

_Alistair_..._what_ _have_ _you_ _done_?

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson._


	46. Chapter 46

With a hiss and the clicking sound of dusty bones snapping into place the undead arose from their slumber.

_At least they're not werewolves_. Alistair dryly concluded with a shrug as he and the others pulled their weapons free and moved into position to receive the charge once more. _I miss the time when these things would actually scare me_...as it was he just smirked, noted the dominance of close combat weapons on this group...and prepared to break them apart.

Despite them having an ability to talk the werewolves had been anything but diplomatic so far, and as the group had pressed on the resistance had hardened. At first Alistair had been a little taken off guard by the ferocity of the werewolves, but as always it was just a matter of finding the right stance and vital points...by now he knew how to kill them as easily as any other creature he'd encountered.

The little group had pressed on instead of calling for reinforcements, Lynn reasoning that the werewolves shouldn't get the opportunity to recover, or hide Witherfang or the lady of the forest from them...something Alistair agreed on. _And she had asked too, I kind of like that_. It was odd, to like to be part of making the decisions all of a sudden, but Alistair guessed he'd been somewhat eased into it by Lynn...he didn't worry too much about making the strategic calls anymore, his education under Eamon coming back to him little by little.

So they had pressed on, fought their way past furious werewolves and long dead soldiers in their bid to reach either witherfang or the lady of the forest...what would happen _then_ neither Alistair nor Lynn actually knew...but that was something they would have to handle when it came.

They had already developed their tactics for clearing halls by now, which turned many a battle into nothing but routine. And Alistair expected nothing but the same this time, his eyes turning left and right to check that all was as it should be.

Standing in the centre of the line Alistair had Morrigan and Leliana to his right, the witch slightly ahead of the bard but still a little behind Alistair. Both were already tearing holes in the charging horde, fireballs, blasts of lightning and a near hail of deadly arrows culling many of the undead before they even reached the four.

To his left Lynn stood, a little further ahead of him, just close enough to get his support if needed, but farther away then Alistair remembered her to usually be. Alistair wasn't sure what that meant, it was as if she was trying to fight on her own, away from him, yet she always withdrew closer to him when the danger became more imminent..._As long as I keep an eye on her I guess I shouldn't complain_. Alistair nearly snorted at the idea, despite his words to Zevran he knew the woman was more then capable of defending herself. _Probably more so than myself to be honest_, he admitted, smiling.

While still wielding her sword and axe, both now burning with unnatural power from the spell Morrigan had cast upon them, Lynn had discarded her dwarven mail. Alistair had kept his back to her during the changing of armour and endured Morrigan's and Leliana's whispered teasing as well as could be expected...and had been rewarded with the sight of Lynn in the ancient elven armour they had found. It looked..._good_ on her, a greenish gold...sort of making her look like a flower...the _lethal_ kind.

_It's not really her thing to embrace the old though_. He noted with a chuckle. _Then again she just took it because it worked better for her than the dwarven mail_..._would mentioning that it looks good on her be stupid_? He didn't think so, and resolved to tell her the moment he got her alone. _Really __ought to talk to her anyway_..._she's been_-

"Ahhh!" One of the undead hissed and came right at him, rusty greatsword raised for a massive overhand blow.

_Oh right, the enemy_.

Nearly chuckling at his arrogance of being absent-minded in the face of a charge of undead monsters coming back from the very fade to attack them Alistair took a quick step forward and raised his shield, a gift from Teagan emblazoned with the Redcliffe heraldry.

The overhand blow descended upon his shield...only to never connect as Alistair spun clockwise and stepped to the left, his own sword coming down in an overhand slash as he turned to face the next foe. Next to him the greatsword crashed into the floor...quickly followed by the body and decapitated skull of his foe.

The next undead thrust his sword towards Alistair's face. Raising his shield he forced the blade over his head and thrust his own sword forward under his raised shield...neatly boring a hole in the old chestplate of the monster and felling it.

The third lunged at Alistair's legs. A quick sidestep and sweep of his shield and Alistair forced the foe's blade into the floor...and his return sweep of the shield smashed apart the brittle skull of the skeleton while sending its body tumbling back into those following it.

Glancing to his right he saw that Morrigan and Leliana were keeping their side safe, Morrigan's cold spell having frozen half a dozen undead and blocking the rest from charging at the two women, instead funnelling them towards Alistair and Lynn while Leliana continued her sniping shots at them, nearly felling an undead with each shot.

Then two skeletons leapt at him at the same time.

Cursing his inattentiveness to his own situation Alistair met the charge with what came naturally, a charge of his own. The skeleton to his left put all its strength into its swing, only to have its swing deflected by Alistair's shield as he crashed into the skeleton and smashed the creature sideways. The one to the right tried a horizontal swing at Alistair's right leg, only to have the blow parried by Alistair's sword...and then have Alistair's gauntlet and pommel smash into its skull, crashing apart helmet and bone alike. _I like this new armour_.

The skeleton he'd smashed sideways came at him again, the lunge at Alistair's chest easily deflected sideways by his sword and neatly glancing off his silvery breastplate as his shield came down to crash into the back of its shoulder, forcing it closer...and right into his thrusting knee, crushing its chest with a crunch. _I like it a __lot_!

In it he felt stronger for some reason, tougher...and it looked quite dashing in his own mind at least... With it he felt like an unmovable object, some sort of juggernaut that steadily chewed through any opposition in its way. He had probably always fought like that...but it felt more noticeable now. _It feels as if it was made for me_...shrugging aside the arrogant thought Alistair deflected the blow of another skeleton and cut its chest apart with a swing of his blade.

If he was a juggernaut, steadily eating away at the enemy, Lynn was a storm.

She'd _always_ been that, but now that Alistair thought about it...it was somehow more apparent. A counter clockwise spin and she parried a thrusting blade with her sword before her axe smashed into the back of the latest skeleton to face her, dropping it into the dust where half a dozen others were already collecting dust. Changing her spin into a clockwise one she ducked low, avoiding two enemy blows and at the same time cutting off the legs of one of the attacking enemies with her sword...before coming up in a flying kick, sending the other skeleton flying into its comrades.

The felled skeletons didn't get the time to get up, they _never_ did. A blur of greenish gold, a furious hacking of axe and sword...and the skeletons were no more.

_So_..._this makes it the_..._tenth attack by these things_?_ What are we_?_ Anti-necromancers or something_?

Smiling Alistair sheathed his sword and strapped his shield unto his back before reaching up and pulling his helmet off, he smiled at it. "Heh, I kind of like this blue plume, makes me feel like I'm an officer or something."

"Really? Makes you look like a bird." Morrigan scoffed, putting her staff back onto her back.

Alistair laughed. "Oh? This coming from the woman putting _feathers_ on the rags that she calls clothes?"

"I like feathers." Leliana chimed in, almost looking childish as she kicked aside a piece of still frozen bone with a little giggle. "So colourful and natural, it can really enhance a wardrobe..."

"Great." Morrigan gestured for the bard and shot Alistair an exasperated look. "Now you've gotten her started."

"...in fact I'd like to experiment a little with _your_ wardrobe Morrigan, these feathers are great, but you could do so much _more_ with what you got..." Alistair grinned at the witch's shudder due to Leliana's close study of her. "...that dreadful skirt of yours just _got_ to go, perhaps replaced by something a little more revealing, no? Perhaps adding some pearls or strings of beads..."

"Leliana." Alistair cut in._ I love to see Morrigan being bothered_..._but I've got bigger things going on_. "Could you check the path ahead for traps? Morrigan, loot the dead...erm..._deader_ things..." He saw the witch narrow her eyes at him, no doubt thinking of pointing out just _who_ was in charge. "...and please girls, no talking while doing this."

To his immense relief Morrigan shot Leliana a glance, then the dead, then nodded and moved to check the corpses for any useful things, apparently preferring the filthy task to enduring Leliana's droning. _Heh, I'm getting good at this_. Alistair did his best to ignore Leliana's little smirk as he turned to Lynn, the woman about to join Morrigan in the looting. "Lynn, could I talk to you for a moment?"

"S-sure." The woman nodded and shot him a worried glance, but quickly moved to face him, leaving Morrigan and Leliana to slowly move through the dead in search of loot and traps alike. "What's up?" Lynn glanced left and right, anything but _at_ him. "I missed a passage or something? Have we not checked everything yet?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Alistair chuckled and raised his right hand, the other busy cradling his helmet...which Lynn was now apparently studying in detail. "I just wanted to...you know...talk."

"Here?" Lynn kept looking at his helmet, head cocked to the side as she stared into its slits with a small frown. "Isn't it a bit of an odd place to talk? With us being in danger and all..." She trailed off and shrugged, tongue darting out to nervously lick her lips. _She's_ _nervous_? _Why_?

Alistair managed a chuckle. "You might not have noticed, but we're _always_ in danger." He raised his hand to stop the protest about to cross Lynn's lips. "And by the way...may I just say that I really like that new armour of yours? It suits you."

"It's not exactly _new_..." Lynn looked away, a small smirk forcing itself to her lips. "But thank you...I guess...I like yours too." She looked even further away, a murmur about 'dear Maker' and something intangible reaching Alistair's ears. _Right, maybe I should focus on the real issue_? _Though, just one more_...

"Dashing isn't it?" Alistair grinned as he watched Lynn scoff, the elf softly shaking her head at his foolishness. "But honestly...is something wrong? I wouldn't say that you're avoiding me...but you're not exactly talking to me either..." She looked down at her feet as he spoke. "See? You can't even look me in the eyes."

"Sure I can." Lynn scoffed, looked up at him...and then quickly down at her feet again. "See?"

"_Veeery_ impressive." Alistair chuckled softly, forcing away the insecurity digging into him. After all, Lynn seemed more nervous then he was. _Strange_... "Is this about me yelling at you? You _do_ realise it was more out of fear and worry that I did it...I wasn't exactly angry at you..._that_ much." He noticed Lynn's grimace. "Which I bet doesn't help." He took a deep breath, forcing himself to give the offer he had pondered. "Look...if things are too uncomfortable for you or something...I can...back off...." He closed his eyes, hoping against all logic that Lynn wouldn't take the offered opportunity._ I'm an idiot, a stupid idiot, if she accepts_..._Maker help me_.

"I'm uncomfortable." Lynn muttered. _Oh no, no, no, no_.... "But I doubt you can help with that..." _Eh_?

"What...does that mean?" Alistair rubbed the back of his head, confused, feeling something squeeze his heart. "I...is this about Zevran?"_ I think my heart just exploded_.

A snort, the elf shaking her head as she looked down at her feet. "Silly...foolish..." She held out her hand between them, palm upwards as she opened it...

_Is that_...? Alistair blinked, not really believing what he saw. The silver emblem of Andraste's flame was riddled with cracks, as was the entire medallion...but it was _whole_...right in front of him. Right _there_. _But I smashed it_..._I know I did_..._yet it's here_..._she has it_..._how_..._I can't believe it_.

"W-well?" Lynn's voice trembled. "D-do you want it?"

"H-how did you...w-where did you find it?" Alistair blinked again, still not believing what he saw seeing as he carefully reached out for the medallion. "I thought I...I smashed it...I _know_ I did...yet..." He picked it up between two fingers, carefully, afraid the cracked amulet would break apart at his mere touch. It _didn't_, it was still _whole_, in his _hand_. "I...don't believe it."

"I..." Alistair was barely aware of Lynn's shrug, too busy staring at the amulet he now held in his palm. _It's back_..._it's returned to me_. "...found it in your room at Redcliffe, it was on a table...waiting for you I think...I...decided to take it with me...thought that you might want it..."

"But I smashed it..." Alistair whispered, pulling his hand closer, staring at the amulet as he blinked again and again, banishing the burning feeling in the corner of his eyes as best he could. "...I _know_ I did..."

"Eamon probably repaired it..." Lynn whispered back. "...he cares for you you know..."

"I...had almost forgotten." Alistair shook his head. "I can't believe you found it..." The tears came, and he _let_ them come, they were _good_ tears. "...I...thank you...I..." A short laugh escaped him. "...I don't rightly know what to say." He finally tore his eyes off the amulet and looked up at the woman.

_What the_...?

Lynn was _crying_, her lips _smiling_...and Alistair had _no_ idea what it meant. _Or do I_?_ Only I don't dare to think it_?_ Does it_..._does it actually mean_- "I guess you like it then..."

"I...very much so..." Alistair nodded, staring at the woman. "H-how did you _remember_ this? I only mentioned it in passing...I...I can't believe..." He shook his head, smiling, despite the tears. "...you remembered."

The woman looked away and bit her lower lip, her shoulders slumping, and lips _still_ smiling...though her eyes were _confused_. "I can't believe it either..." She shook her head, then looked up at him, the smile spreading from her lips to her entire face. "...I'm..._glad_ you like it..." Then she looked away, ears so red it nearly shone right through her hair. "W-we should get going." She turned away, retreated.

_But there's nowhere to go_. Alistair smiled at the retreating woman and clutched his amulet close to his chest.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her help._


	47. Chapter 47

The tent of the keeper was spacious, and nearly empty now that they had cleared it of Zathrian's personal belongings, things that were now moved to various members of the tribe as according to his will. A pair of cushions remained though, one for Lynn to sit on, another for the new keeper.

Lanaya looked a little older, tired, though she still retained a weak smile. Perhaps it was for Zathrian's sake, that he died with happiness in his heart, perhaps it was for her people, whose celebration could be dimly heard through the tent. Perhaps it was simply for Lynn's sake...the woman shook her head at the idea. "I never did hate humans, not really."

Lanaya bowed her head, frowning slightly. "Really?"

"I mean..." Lynn shrugged. "I did, in a way, it's what I've been taught...but that's just _it_, it was just something my own people had told me, _made_ me think. I guess from all the interactions I've had with the humans I really knew they truly weren't evil as a race..." Lynn shrugged. "...though I didn't really want to think about it. Hating them was much..._easier_." She shook her head. "Zathrian on the other hand...his hatred was personal...undimmed."

"Yet he let it go." Lanaya replied, sighing. "And I sensed that...he was happy to let it go. It pained him, perhaps more then it did the humans affected by his curse."

"We're our own greatest enemy." Lynn nodded with a frown. _Alistair_..._Maker, my heart will get me killed_. "But he won, he did...I don't think I could manage to do such a thing."

"Stop hating humans?"

"I've already done that." Lynn replied, blinking in surprise as she realised it was true, and had been so for quite some time. Then she noticed the small smile on Lanaya's lips. "And you already knew that..." _Is it __that__ obvious_!? "...do you think your people will be able to do the same as their late Keeper?"

"No." Lanaya shook her head. "Or at least...not this generation, in the future, maybe." She didn't seem to believe that either, but Lynn chose not to comment. "But for this night? I believe so...they're happy, happy enough to forget who their saviours are."

"In the end Zathrian was the saviour..." Lynn shrugged. "But I know what you mean..." She grimaced as she glanced backwards. "...we have to go outside again...don't we?"

"I'm afraid so." Lanaya mirrored Lynn's grimace. They had already been outside a couple of times...and it had not been a fun experience. "But it's our duty to attend the festivities I suppose." She got to her feet, a sigh escaping her as she leant on her staff.

Lynn did the same, suddenly wanting to put the helmet tied to her belt on. _With it I might not hear all of them_... "I've begun to hate duty you know."

Lanaya chuckled even as she shot Lynn a sympathetic look. "I'm not surprised, at least this one is a simple one." Stepping past Lynn the new keeper pulled aside the flap to the tent and led them outside.

_Simple, yes, nice, no_. Lynn, still tired from the fighting forced herself to smile as a horde of a suddenly friendly Dalish assaulted her with well-wishes, thank-yous and even hugs...because apparently she was their best friend now. _Hypocrites_. Still smiling she embraced a Dalish woman whose breath reeked of whatever strange alcohol the Dalish brewed.

_At least the feast is sort of nice_. With their warriors recovering and the werewolves gone the Dalish had begun celebrating as the last rays of the sun had faded away. And though they apparently didn't hold many such celebrations if Lanaya was to be believed...they knew how to make the most of it when they _did_.

Around them there was darkness, a compact blackness in where the trees could barely be perceived, grey pillars barely illuminated by the large moon above, between which Lynn spotted glowing fireflies aimlessly drifting around.

The many bonfires of the dalish stood in sharp contrast to the dark woods surrounding them however, making the elves dancing around the fires throw long shadows that disappeared into the foliage. While at least half of the tribe was up dancing the other half was either playing the drums...a steady rhythm at the point of being fast, yet wasn't...or simply talking as they feasted on various foods that Lynn had no way of identifying.

It almost looked like some sort of barbarian ceremony...simple and crude. _Though I think I would like it_..._if it wasn't for these damn well-wishers_!

Lynn instantly spotted Oghren and Zevran, the two sitting by a low table and gulping down mug after mug of Dalish alcohol, both staring intently at one another in what obviously had to be a competition, as if the sheering Dalish surrounding the two wasn't enough of a hint. _Good, then he can't glare at me at least_...even as she watched Zevran blinked...then slid off his chair and tumbled onto the grass to the boos of the Dalish. "And Oghren wins again!" Oghren raised his cup in cheer, grinning at the disappointed Dalish as they tried to slap some life into Zevran. _I just hope he doesn't forget our little talk_...

Sten was standing by a table further off to the right, the size of the qunari made all the more obvious by the flock of Dalish around him, all pointing at various little pieces of bread on the table. _No, not bread_..._that's_..._cookies_? The qunari nodded at something a little brown-haired Dalish woman said even as he shoved one of the pastries into his mouth. _Huh, strange_.

Wynne seemed to enjoy herself as well, leaning on her staff as she sat one a felled tree trunk the old woman smiled at the Dalish children running around on a small grass field that had been cleared for them... The children were obviously trying to imitate the rhythmic dances of the older elves...and failing spectacularly. _Cute_. Lynn smile turned more genuine even as she was hugged by the fifth reeking elf in a row.

Next to her Lanaya shot her a well meaning smile even as she too hugged another Dalish woman. Apparently her being turned Keeper was a big thing too...somehow making her a hero. _Bet they just wanted a Dalish to celebrate along with the outsiders_. Lynn shrugged at the new Keeper before turning to shake the hands offered by nearly half a dozen other elves, all of them warriors still recovering from their wounds judging by their stances, but all smiling.

There was nothing but smiles tonight, nothing but friendliness, for her _and_ her companions...at least for tonight.

Moving further into the crowd, as if the pressing behind her would allow otherwise, Lynn spotted Morrigan, her friend's face dark as she tried to fend of the questions aimed at her from a dozen Dalish women. "No, I will _not_ turn into a wolf, despite being sorely tempted." The woman shot the next elf a glare. "And no I will _not_ speak of my mother! Spirits, don't you people _ever_ run out of questions!?" There was a hesitation in the assembled elves...before they began their assault anew. "No I won't make you a love-potion...what kind of _idiotic_ question is that!?" The witch looked up at Lynn, caught her gaze with a pleading one of her own.

Chuckling, Lynn managed to somewhat de-tangle herself from another hug. "Having fun are we?"

"If you weren't my friend I would torch this place to the ground..." Morrigan grumbled, making the Dalish around her pull back in fright...for half a second. "By all that is...what is it _with_ you people!?"

Lynn laughed, the misery of her friend somewhat elevating her own. _Heh, at least I'm not alone_. It was a small comfort however when two Dalish men, both heavily bandaged around the legs, hobbled into her for a great hug, stinking of alcohol and some strange meat. "Thank you warden, thank you." One of them whispered into her ear even as the other begun to list, a muttered curse escaping him.

"You're quite welcome..." Lynn muttered back and shoved the two back onto their own feet, relieved that they quickly turned their attention to wishing their new Keeper well...not that Lanaya seemed to appreciate it, that with already being stuck with half a dozen well-wishers. Shooting the Keeper a smug look Lynn tried to escape, to force all attention on the Dalish 'hero'...but was quickly forced into yet another hug, this time by a nearly crying woman blabbering about her husband and children.

_Gratitude is nice_..._but_ _I_ _don't_..._I_ _have_ _other_ _things_ _to_ _do_... Lynn felt her ears flush at the thought, her stomach clench in sudden fear, and was suddenly grateful it was so dark.

Fortunately she then spotted Leliana, the bard for some reason wearing a set of Dalish armour as she came up to the warden. "Beautiful isn't it?" Leliana spun as she approached Lynn. "It's very comfortable, and surprisingly tough...a wondrous gift from a grateful wife."

"Yes...well...won't see me in one of those." Lynn replied, eyeing the exposed creamy skin of the other woman. "Isn't it cold?"

"Not at all." Leliana smirked. "I think I'll keep it...and perhaps an extra set...just in case." She shot Lynn a wink.

"I...don't understand what you mean." Lynn blinked, suddenly remembering the way Alistair had blushed the instant they had entered the Dalish camp. _Would he_..._like that_?_ No, no that's a stupid thought_..._I_ _haven't_ _even_... She shook her head, irritated by Leliana's smirk all of a sudden, and all too willing to change subject: "It's funny how the celebration came because their Keeper died isn't it? It's as if it rekindled their hope or something."

"Funny that you should say that." Leliana noted, smiling weakly. "I know of a song from...from when my mother died." She continued to smile even as she looked down at her feet. "An elven servant sung the elven song of mourning for me...to remind me that along with grief...there was hope."

_Perfect_. Lynn lit up, sidestepping the hug of yet another grateful Dalish she smiled at the bard. "Then sing it." Leliana looked at her, then glanced at the celebrations around them, confused. "Lanaya! Lanaya!" Lynn turned and gestured for the swarmed Keeper to come, which the woman was more then happy to do. "Leliana here's an accomplished bard..." Lynn held the Keeper close as she gestured for the still confused Leliana. "And she knows an ancient elven song...you think the others would appreciate hearing it?"

The Keeper instantly lit up with a smile, understanding Lynn's plan. "Indeed they would...Leliana was it? How would you like to perform for the Dalish?"

Finally Leliana understood, smiling back. "Well...I hadn't _planned_ a performance...but I would certainly enjoy it. And for such an _audience_..." The smile turned into a grin. "...singing in elvish would suddenly become a challenge. Yes, I'd be _happy_ to perform."

"Bards..." Lynn smirked and clapped Lanaya on the shoulder. "...give her a stage."

"With pleasure." Lanaya smirked back and grabbed Leliana's hand and lead her towards one of the tables that had just been cleared of the emptied bowls. "Brothers! Sisters!" The Keeper's voice rang out over the camp, instantly silencing the drums and making the thankful Dalish around Lynn cease with their bothering of her. "We have a hidden talent within one of our new friends! Song! And not _any_ song!" Lynn watched Lanaya bow her head closer to Leliana so the woman could whisper its name to her. "But someone who knows In Uthenera!"

A hushed whisper went over the camp, many of the elves looking questioning as they eyed the taller human woman smiling as she stepped up on the table. Some of them even looking scornful as they eyed the Dalish armour she wore. But the gratefulness won out and not a single comment was made as they watched Leliana clear her throat, obviously loving the moment of anticipation.

Lynn didn't care too much though, her attention on escaping the focus of the now distracted elves.

And as the first tones of Leliana's song begun to list through the night Lynn slipped away...

She knew where to go, she just _knew_. Perhaps it was due to knowing how Alistair thought, or perhaps it was just an old memory resurfacing, perhaps merely fate.

Away from the fires the night was less pressing, a little cold even. The forest seemed less dark somehow, the trees lest distant, illuminated as they were by the moon above her. _It's so big_...Lynn felt an odd urge to reach up and touch it, despite knowing it by all logic was far away. She suddenly knew why the Dalish continued to live as they did, despite the hardships they must endure. _It's_ _peaceful_..._beautiful_..._even_ _romantic_.

Her breath hitched at the thought even as she spotted Alistair, just where she knew he would be.

The lake the Dalish used for water was silent and black, an undisturbed mirror reflecting the large moon just above it. Above it fireflies buzzed aimlessly, little tiny stars reflected in the blackness beneath them.

Standing on the beach Alistair was looking out over the water, far away in thoughts. _As he once had been, so long ago_... Taking a furtive couple of steps closer Lynn cocked her head to the side and studied him. Back then he hadn't been alone of course...but it was still the same stance, the same thoughtfulness in him...but it was different now, far different from when she had seen him by the lake by Flemeth's hut.

The massive suit of armour he now wore glittered slightly under the moonlight and made him look larger then he really was, a far cry from the splintmail he had once worn.

But he _was_ larger than he really was...Lynn realised that he had grown, his stance had matured. Perhaps some of his naivety had been hacked away, his experiences having burnt away of some of his softness... But despite all that the endless kindness remained within him, perhaps more carefully guarded...but it was _there_, it was one of his greatest strengths, despite the pain it must cause him...and she couldn't help but love it, despite how foolish it was.

Even in its scabbard Lynn could feel the power in the sword strapped to his side...yet it was _nothing_ compared to _his_ power. Not just physical, his ability to tear apart even golems with his bare hands...but far more that of the mind. His ability to stand against anything, fearless. His inability to know despair in anything but the worst situations. His ability to always find something to_ joke _about, even when he by all rights should be crying. The fact that he always found time to care for others, even when he himself was suffering. He had always had that Lynn realised...but it had _grown_ now...grown so much it was a small wonder the earthly armour of his could contain him.

_Maker_..._what could someone like him see in me_?

Feeling butterflies fill her stomach Lynn snuck closer. _This is stupid, he's a prince, you shouldn't do this_. She watched the man shift a little where he stood, taking off some of the pressure from his left leg where a mace had caught him in the knee just hours ago. But he didn't care for such small wounds anymore, they were beneath his notice. _A prince_..._in_ _so_ _many_ _ways_.

Then she stood next to him, to his right...and had forgotten all she was going to say.

Glancing up at him she noticed the amulet he now wore, resting on his breastplate, right over his heart. _He had loved it_..._he had_..._and I_.... She felt her ears warm as her gaze travelled up to his face. The man was smiling ever so slightly, still looking out over the lake, obviously knowing she was there, but not commenting.

_Is he waiting for me to say something_?_ I should say something_? What should I say? _I've forgotten_..._maybe I should say something anyway_? Lynn licked her lips, nervous beyond words.

"Hey..." Alistair whispered, offering her a way in.

_Thank you_...Lynn' smile was pained. _Always there to help, even with the little things_..._and Maker I think I love it_. "H-hey..."

Silence.

It was a comfortable silence though, as if the two little words had somehow lulled her worry, soothed her. Sighing contently she looked out over the lake, watching the aimless flying of the fireflies over the dark mirror. _Breathtaking_...she glanced at Alistair...wanting nothing more then to know what he was thinking. _Does he feel the same_?_ I_..._I think so_..._don't I_?

"When we go to Denerim..." Alistair's voice was still low, hushed. "...I'd like to visit a woman if it's okay, she's..." _What_?! Lynn Stiffened in sudden fright. _Have I read everything wrong_!?_ I couldn't possibly_..._Maker I'm such a fool_! "...my sister." Lynn nearly laughed with relief. _How could I even have thought that_?_ I'm such a fool_..._I'm too nervous_..._not thinking straight_. She looked up at the man again._ I can't think straight anymore_... "I had known she existed for some time...but not until now I've really felt the need to see her...to find what family I have left..." The man smiled. "...it would be good." He glanced at her, making her shyly avert her gaze. "If it's okay?"

_This_ _is_ _foolishness_. "Yes, yes it's very okay...we'll do that. If we have the time we could even meet my family too...w-would you like that?" _Stupid_..._stupid_.

"Yes." Alistair nodded and looked back over the lake, letting Lynn look up again. He was still smiling, shyly for some reason. "I would...be honoured."

_I just invited him to see my family, to hear of my past_..._stupid, stupid_..._I'm so stupid_! "I-it's nothing big, a-and only if we have time." _My family_..._I had almost forgotten them, how could I have done so_? She eyed Alistair's lips, that even smiling so shyly seemed to be smirking at some joke only he knew. _I'm the fool_. "I...I talked to Zevran."

"Oh?" Alistair looked down at her again, making her once more look away. _He's right, I can't look him in the eyes_..._Maker_..._what is this_? "What...what did you tell him?"

_Lie, end it_. "The truth." Lynn swallowed, her stomach churning. "H-he won't be..."_ I can't say it_. "...between anymore."_ I can't_!

"Sooo...does that mean...?"

_No, don't be such a fool, don't_. "Y-yes." Lynn swallowed once more, feeling her body going numb. "I...I guess it does." She turned her head away and crossed her arms, trying to contain the violent thumps of her heart.

"I'm...grateful." Alistair muttered, his words full of the awkwardness Lynn had come to love, drawing a smile from her. _I think I might faint_... An arm came over her shoulders, pulling her closer until she was leaning against the armoured chest of the former templar. "A-and you won't run away?"

_I should, I will, I must_. "N-no...I won't." Lynn looked over the lake, mentally trying to throw herself out over it and leave the body of hers that _must_ be dying judging by the ache in her heart...she couldn't though. A nervous laugh, small and puny, escaped her. "Remember when we first met? I thought you were just another human man I could play for a fool...yet you surprised me at so many turns. You didn't just succumb to my attempts to be charming...nor did you shy away when I made things a hell for you. You embraced your duty in a way I'd never seen any human...or any elf for that matter...do. None but me."

The man didn't answer, the arm around her shoulder tightening its grip as she watched the aimless dance of the fireflies over the lake.

"And you never stopped being there..._never_. I...thought you wanted something from me...and when I realised you _didn't_....I didn't know what to _think_. What was I supposed to _do_ when my debt just grew and grew? But you didn't see it as such...you gave without any wish for reward...and I _still_ don't understand it...but...I'm grateful for it." Lynn shook her head, desperately trying to stop the pounding of her heart, and failing. "I can't begin to express...how happy I am..that..._this_ happened.

No answer.

_Maker, I didn't just say_...

"I mean...I don't mean the whole blight and all...not that...I could _never_ be happy for the pain it has caused you. But...I can't help but be happy that it brought you with it." _This is stupid, stop saying these things, you're embarrassing yourself_. "I...I don't know how it happened...but I'm..._happy_ now...and _afraid_....and it's _your_ doing, _not_ the archdemon's..." She watched a firefly swing over the dark mirror that was the lake, watched the white glow of the moon reflect in it...shocked that such calm could exist next to the turmoil that was her heart.

"Lynn.." There was a smile in the whisper, Alistair's free hand coming up to cup her chin, forcing her to look away from the lake and meet his gaze. The dark brown eyes were soft as they looked down into hers.

_No, don't do it_. "Y-yes?" Lynn felt herself tremble, her stomach knotting up in fear.

A teasing smile, a twinkle in the eyes, happiness. "Shut up." He leant forward, closer, warm breath brushing against her lips.

_You'll regret this, don't do it_. Lynn's voice came out, small and frightened. "Okay."

Time slowed.

_Don't_.

_It's not smart_.

_It goes against all you've learnt_.

_You don't need the distraction_.

_You're not worthy_.

He _kissed_ her. She _let_ him kiss her. The knot in her stomach dissolved into nothing, her legs nearly giving in. Her right hand came up to clutch at the back of Alistair's hair, as much to pull him closer as it was to keep her upright, her left gripped into his shoulder, pulling her upwards.

_You shouldn't do this_. She forced herself closer, unable...and unwilling...to part with Alistair's lips.

_I don't care_.

_You'll hurt him, you know you will, you don't know what you're doing. _The hand on Alistair's shoulder wound up around his neck, pulling her up until not even her toes touched the ground.

_I don't care_.

_It's stupid, foolish and idiotic. You know this_. Lynn whimpered, feeling tears run down her cheeks as she somehow managed to pull Alistair closer, breathing his musky scent with each struggled breath. And as she felt his arms around her waist as he held her close she felt herself _relax_..._months_ of tension disappearing in an instant, washing away all fear and pain for that one moment.

_I don't care_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for reading through this._


	48. Chapter 48

"I-I don't understand." Alistair took a step back, a strange mix of horror and pain written across his face.

It was strange not wearing armour or carrying weapons, something they had decided upon when reaching the outskirts of Denerim in order to avoid detection. Right now Lynn was grateful she didn't have the later though, knowing she would do something she regretted if she did, her fingers digging into her palms as she closed her hands into fists as hard as she possibly could.

Even without armour and only in a simple tunic and trousers Alistair had been an impressive sight. And it had been sort of _fun_ to walk around next to him in the Denerim market, just slightly apart to not draw attention... Which made for such a tension between them that Lynn had found herself grinning...actually giddy about the longing to just go up and kiss the man...as she had done dozens of times since they'd left the Brecilian forest.

Those feelings were gone now though, smashed asunder by harsh reality.

Part of her had known things wouldn't go perfectly, that Alistair had expected too much, that he at best could have expected a somewhat friendly hello before being told to leave so Goldanna could focus on her _life_ rather then a brother she didn't even _know_. Lynn hadn't expected _this_ though, or perhaps she had...but hadn't wanted to admit it? It wasn't exactly the wealthiest area the woman lived in after all...

Yet despite having expected him to be disappointed...it _hurt_ to see Alistair now. Shoulders slumped, _small_, as if a few words had been all that it had taken to destroy everything he'd grown into. _It's not right_..._it's just not right_. Lynn glared at the woman responsible.

Goldanna was what one could expect of a human woman living close to the alienage. Her clothes weren't filthy, but not exactly clean, nor was her skin, cheeks and hands blotchy from whatever she used when doing the laundry from which she earned her living. Her hair was darker than Alistair's and pulled back a sweat-stained kerchief, but her eyes were so much like his that it was painful to watch them narrowed in irritation at the man obviously sharing her blood. But while the eyes _were_ the same, they were at the same time _not_...they were more tired, disillusioned, _sad_.

_Did I once sleep with her husband_? It was a horrifying thought, and not at all impossible. They were close to the alienage after all...and Lynn had been yelled at by so many housewives that their faces had blurred together. _It feels like another life, I don't_..._Maker_..._am I part to this_? She glanced at the run-down interior of the house, so close to her old home that it was painful. At the heads of the many children peeking around the wall separating the only room of the house to the kitchen, curious faces staring at the arrivals.

The woman crossed her arms in front of her and scoffed. "_What_ is it that you don't understand? The 'leave' or the 'get the hell out'? I have seven children to feed, no husband to help me and enough laundry to take me until midnight to finish. So excuse me if I'm not all in awe about the oh so great prince coming to save me with nothing but his words." Goldanna shot him a sarcastic smile. "Or are you looking for a dinner? I'm sure a man of your stature would enjoy the porridge and soggy bread I've saved for dinner."

"I...no..." Alistair made a furtive gesture with empty hands, not knowing what to do. _I'm sorry_..._I'm so sorry_. Able to do nothing but watch Lynn saw the man manage to straighten slightly. "I...did not know how you've had it, you must believe me...I...I wished there was something I could do."

"Well perhaps you could use some of that royal influence to help your family and we _might_ talk." Goldanna snorted. "The kids and I live in our own filth while you swagger about as if you were something special."

Lynn felt her fingernails draw blood from her palms as she took a step forward, only to be stopped as Alistair dropped a heavy hand upon her shoulder. Instead she settled for glaring at Goldanna, shooting daggers at the woman that now had taken a step back. _He does __not_! _And he __is_! "I...don't know what to say...I don't really _have_ any royal influence..." Alistair _wished_ he had, he _did_, _despite_ what she was saying! Lynn shot the man a glare. _How can you wish her this when she says these things_!?_ I can't_...she watched Alistair's sad face, feeling her ire melt away instantly...._your kindness will be your undoing_..._damn fool_.

"Oh _sure_, come in here looking all clean and neat, speak of being a grey warden and how you grew up in a castle and _then_ say you don't have any influence when you actually get some responsibilities to uphold." Goldanna scoffed, shooting a glare back at one of her children that was creeping closer and making him stumble back. "I knew this day would be a waste of time, your kind are all alike."

"Don't you _dare_ speak to _him_ of responsibility!" Lynn shot forward...only to instantly stumble back as Alistair's hand tightened its grip on her shoulder. She looked up at him, refusing to see the sadness looking down at her. "What!? She's insulting you!" No answer but more sadness. "She shouldn't speak of what she doesn't know..." A gentle shake of his head. "..._fine_." She looked down at her leather boots and crossed her arms in front of her, too frustrated for words, all but one; _idiot_.

"And who's this? An elven servant girl too? Well aren't you posh." Goldanna scoffed. "And judging by that little mouth of hers she's thinking with her groin...I suppose it's _true_ what they say about fathers and sons."

The grip on Lynn's shoulder suddenly got so tight that it hurt...and Lynn was grateful of that since it was the only thing keeping her from simply dropping to the floor as all colour drained from her face. _I had almost forgotten_..._he is_..._I am_..._it hurts_... "This..." Alistair's voice was hard and clipped, at the point of yelling, the controlled anger Lynn had learnt to fear. "...is another grey warden, and you would do well to treat her with _respect_,or this conversation will end _badly_."

Looking up Lynn found Goldanna had taken another step back, paling a little, but she still managed a scoff. "Oh, another grey warden eh? Well aren't I impressed? But since titles, nor the bearers of those apparently, won't feed my children I still stand by my words; get the hell out and don't come back, I've had enough of you people."

"I...right." Alistair sighed, head bowed as he took a deep breath. "Lynn...could we...get her some sovereigns?" _What_!?_ Are you crazy_!? Lynn stared at him in disbelief. "Just fifteen or so." _Didn't you just hear what she said_!?_ You can't possibly_... "Please?" _But she just said all those horrible_... "For me? It would...help my conscience."

"I...okay." Lynn blinked, surprised by her own answer. _Not smart, he's_..._Maker we could use this money. But he wants to give it away to __this__ woman_..._and I will __let__ him_..._I'm already regretting that kiss. It's foolishness_... "Here." Digging into the pouch in her belt she retrieved fifteen gold coins, coins they had bled for, risked limb and life for...and handed them over to Alistair. _I can't believe this_...

"Thank you." He smiled at her, a shy little 'thank you' in it...and Lynn smiled back. _It's worth it_. "Here sister, I'm sorry it can't be more...but we have a blight to concentrate on." Alistair took a quick step forward and placed the coins on a dresser standing just by the foot of an all too worn down bed, not trusting himself to put them in the hands of the now staring woman. "I...I can only promise that once all this is over...I'll...I'll try to make things right for you and your children."

Goldanna hesitated, wide eyes darting from the literal treasure on her dresser to Alistair, shocked by his action and making Lynn smile. _Now you know how I felt most of the time_... "Well...I...I..." The woman suddenly snorted, her sneer returning as she shook off the unexpected kindness. "Lots of good promises do, now get out of here your lordship! Or I'll call the guard and we'll see how loved the wardens _really_ are!"

"Very well...we won't bother you anymore." Alistair sighed and turned to walk out, defeated. Shooting Goldanna a final scathing look Lynn followed, all too willing to leave the source of Alistair's pain alone, to focus on him instead.

It was bright outside, the market district buzzing with activity despite the upheaval with the blight and the rebellious banns. Outside Leliana and Wynne was waiting, looking just like any other cute little Orlesian trader and old lady without their weapons and armour. Both looked shocked by Alistair's slouched appearance, but a slow shake of Lynn's head silenced any questions. _It shouldn't be so bright_..._it should be dark and brooding_... She watched as Alistair turned and leant back against the nearest wall, head bowed low.

_What should I say_? Lynn shifted where she stood, unsure, shooting the other two a questioning glance that was only answered by bewildered shrugs. _They weren't there, they can't know_... She looked back at Alistair, feeling a pang in her heart at how small he suddenly looked, a far cry from the man she'd spent hours kissing since they left the forest. _He needs me...and I don't know what to say_. The guilt wasn't welcome, not after all the happiness she had suddenly experienced, but _there_ it was, worming itself into her gut like poison. _I don't want to fail him, not now_.

"Thank you." _Huh_? Alistair managed a pained smile as he glanced up at Lynn from his slouching position. "For letting me give her those sovereigns...I know it wasn't exactly...logical or smart or...anything really...but it really helped."

"It was nothing." Lynn shrugged. _I wish I could do more, this isn't enough, not __nearly__ enough_. "A-are you okay?" She glanced at the market, suddenly wishing they were some place more private, somewhere where she could actually _comfort_ him.

"I..." Alistair shook his head, a hand coming up to hold his forehead, as if suffering from a headache. His voice cracking as the dream of a family he'd whispered to her during the last few evenings broke apart before him. "..._that_ wasn't the welcome I had expected." Lynn blinked and swallowed, grieving with him. _I'm sorry_. "I guess it was sort of stupid to think...but I really..." A sigh._ I'm so sorry_. "...we shouldn't have come."

"It's better to have tried and lost..." The words sounded hollow in her ears, but she spoke them none the less, not knowing what else to say. "...than to never have tried."

"I don't know...doesn't feel that way." Alistair groaned and leant his head back against the wall, eyes closed, as if trying to hide his pain from her._ Silly boy_... "I just...I wanted a home I guess...some place where I knew I belonged...where they cared..."

In her mind a voice called out to her, wanting her to seize the opportunity, to finally crush the naivety and foolishness of the man, to make him realise what was _important_! It would have been so easy...

It was such a _small_ voice by now though...easily ignored, its advice cast aside, going unheard.

"Alistair..." Lynn moved forward, unable to stop herself any longer. Grabbing a hold of his head with both hands she put her forehead against his, her eyes closed as she whispered: "_I_ care you fool...I care..." She kissed him, a darting peck. "...I care so much it _hurts_..." Another kiss, more forceful. "Redcliffe is your home..." Another quick kiss."...our camp is your home..." Another. "...my heart..." _I almost said_..._Maker what's wrong with me_!? "...is your home."

"Lynn I..." _No_!_ Don't say it_! _Not yet_... Lynn realised with a start that the thoughts were nothing but a lingering memory, she _was_ ready, yet.... _He must have bewitched me_..._I don't know what I'm thinking anymore_... She kissed him, roughly, silencing whatever he was about to say by shoving her tongue into his mouth. A small chuckle escaped the man, vibrating through her, creating a flush around her neck. _Maker_...

She came up for air, seeing a brief glimpse of the man struggling between pain and pleasure. _Right, more_. A quick breath and she crashed into him again, crushing him against the wall while locking her lips onto his, trying to physically drain the pain out of him, or fill him with happiness, she didn't know which. _Maker_..._more_...her hands moved to the back of his head, fingers digging into his hair. _More_...She pressed closer, wanting..._more_.

"Umm...perhaps discretion...would..." Wynne's voice suddenly cut in, making Lynn withdraw with a gasp. _Oh_... She looked away from a very flushed Alistair...then glanced back at him again..._what a sight_...Before forcing herself on focusing on the market next to her.

There was still activity in the market, but many had stopped to stare...and many were staring even as they continued to walk. There were fascinated stares, confused stares...and _a lot _of disgusted stares. _Oh_...She glanced at Alistair, seeing the man flush at the same realisation...then suddenly look a bit ashamed. Of course it wasn't for kissing Lynn, she _knew_ that, but the realisation that others _cared _about _what_ he kissed.

_No, everyone is as wonderful as you, Alistair_...Lynn's heart sank, suddenly realising she was nearly the only elf in the area. She had almost forgotten about that, that with being in camp with people she knew as the persons they were, but _here_...Lynn grimaced. _Welcome back to reality_..._he'd almost made me forget_...

_Screw them_. She shot the onlookers a glare, making most of them return back to their work.

"Lynn, I..." Alistair straightened, somewhat stiffly, and pulled his tunic back into order. "...thank you."

"Don't mention it." Lynn grinned, the knowledge she probably _had_ helped overcome the reality around her. "Now...how about visiting something a bit more cheerful? I'm sure my family would love to know I'm alive and such..." _Maker_..._they probably don't_...The grin faded a bit..._and now I get to show them_...then returned.

"Lead the way." Alistair smiled, nodding with a wry look on his face. "This'll prove interesting..."

"Y-yeah..." Lynn agreed, struggling to contain the dread suddenly creeping up on her. _I don't want him to know, I don't want him to see, but I do, I really do_..._Alistair, what have you done to me_? Ignoring the sudden questioning look on the man's face she whirled about and set out on crossing the marketplace, stoically ignoring the stares as she went...right into a guard.

_What the_...? Lynn blinked as she realised the gate leading to the alienage was closed, and that a guard stood between her and it, looking down at her with a tired look on his face. "The alienage is closed, come back another day." The voice was equally tired, uncaring.

"Closed?" Lynn echoed, unable to understand. "I'm from the alienage...you...you can't just close it!" _I've never heard of that_..._what could that_..._mean_... She paled. _Maker_ _no_...

"I wouldn't say that to anyone if I were you." The guard warned. "The alienage elves aren't exactly loved right now. Was some rioting, people got killed, the new arl is still trying to create order."

"N-new arl...?" Lynn blinked, shocked at the sudden realisation. _Duncan died before anything was done, the arl of Denerim as well_..._I just assumed that meant the end_..._I didn't_..._Maker no_!

"Yeah, arl Howe did a few lashings for the murder of the old arl's son." The guard shrugged. "Next thing you know the elves are all over the place wrecking stuff...took the guard a few hours to put down the first riot. It's still a bit of a mess...they're stubborn in there about calming down..." A sigh. "...too many dying over nothing but a few whippings...a shame really." It didn't sound as if he really cared.

_Dead_...Lynn felt _ill_, the world wobbled and she was dimly aware of someone grabbing her shoulders. _Shianni_? She shook her head, trying to clear it, but to no avail, a fog clouding her thoughts, making it difficult to even see. _Soris_? There was no tears, only shock, guilt slamming into her, leaving her breathless. _Dada_?

"Leliana, Wynne, take her out of here, I'll find Genitivi..." _Someone_ muttered, hands moving her to two other pairs. Carefully holding her arms they gently pulled at her, guiding her..._somewhere_.

_Dead_?

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her assistance._


	49. Chapter 49

It was nearly night when Alistair saw to the camp, tired...yet oddly invigorated.

_Strange_. He frowned as he stalked towards the distant fires of the camp they had made outside of Denerim. _Should I be proud or disgusted_? He hadn't been able to make up his mind so far.

He was _definitively_ proud over not having believed every word out of Genitivi's 'assistant', as he was over having pressed the matter....despite it having felt a bit rude. But when things had turned _nasty_...he was proud over having used his templar abilities to neutralize the man...though the brutal way he had lashed out had been a bit over the top. And then...he grimaced..._torture_.

It hadn't taken long to make the man tell Alistair of the village called Haven and that the ashes were there...but just when Alistair had started to get the impression there had been some sort of cult there, and to ask about it...the man had somehow managed to slip through Alistair's templar concentration he'd shackled the mage with...and torched himself to death from the inside out.

Even now the memory of that made Alistair shudder.

I feel proud about doing what was needed_, my duty_..._yet_..._torturing the man for the information_..._it's just not right_. Alistair felt a strange mix of shame and pride over the memory. The man had screamed, pained by the feel of his connection to the fade being severed, of the pressing power of _nothing_ Alistair had unleashed upon the man... He had screamed...and thrown curses at Alistair even as he told the warden what he knew. _Does the end justify the means_? Alistair had always thought no, a simple black and white...but now...it was a very blotchy grey. _Guess that's what being a __grey__ warden is all about_... He chuckled, despite feeling a bit filthy over his deed.

_Does Lynn __always__ feel like this_?_ Maker_... The thought drew him out of his pondering, to something he _wanted_ to think about.

Shooting Sten a nod, the qunari nearly completely hidden under the shadow of a tree overlooking the camp, Alistair went for his own tent, an odd feeling of resolve upon him. _She's upset, I must help_. To order Leliana and Wynne to take the woman away while he alone went on to do what they were there to do had been _hard_...and Alistair was set on making it up to Lynn. _Duty done, now for Lynn_.

The camp was...muted...Alistair hadn't really thought about it, but Lynn was strangely enough the heart of it. While everyone loved to sit and hear Leliana sing, or to listen to Wynne's stories of old times...or even just joke around...they were all bound to _Lynn_. She was the one whose presence _justified_ the others...and with her hiding away in her tent, judging by the meaning looks Leliana was shooting it, the camp had drifted into near silence...the others unsure of what to do, directionless.

Offering Leliana a brief nod to show that he'd understood Alistair dove into his own tent, instantly moving for his pack and rifling in it to the place where he knew..._there_. Gripping the light wood with both hands Alistair raised his newest figurine before him. He had never actually made one for anyone but himself...at least not one after he'd become skilled at it...he remembered the simple thing barely perceivable as a human he'd once given Eamon with a smile. _This_ one was special though, this one was _hers_.

It had taken longer than expected. She'd been around so much..._especially_ since the Brecilian forest, Alistair felt his face flush despite no one being around. Not to mention that he had been a bit..._overzealous_ with the details, Alistair smiled at the memories of using his razor to carve the smallest of the details...which of course had been murder on its sharpness but well worth it.

He was unsure if the motive was good though, despite having given it a lot of thought. The majority of the figurine consisted of the archdemon. Lying on its back, its clawed feet were up in the air along with its brutal spike-covered club of a tail...mouth open to show its cruelly curved teeth as it roared out. Each spike shooting out from its body had been carved from the memory of his joining, each scale and ridge nicked and cut with miniscule lines, making it look as if they were actually _real_ scales, moving and writhing whenever the viewer turned it. It hadn't been pleasant to carve it...even now Alistair felt a strange dread creeping up on him when looking upon it. _Maybe I made it __too__ real_?_ She'll hate it, I shouldn't_....

There was hope though. He had waited to carve Lynn until the last, to make sure he got the armour right. He had studied it, checked every detail...and it had taken him as long a time to carve the small figure on her knees atop the chest of the archdemon as it had to carve the far larger dragon. The chainmail laying across the slim shoulders had each individual link made...the ridges and marks in the armour all carefully made to mirror hers. The little woman atop the archdemon had her sword buried in the chest of the archdemon, making its roar not one of hate, but of _pain_, the last gasp. Alistair had pondered how to make her face, to what expression the little woman would have...but had finally settled for _serene_, something she was anything _but_...but he had found it suitable. _Maker she's beautiful_...Alistair blinked and looked away from the face. _Okay, creepy_..._less detailed next time_.

Sighing he got to his feet and went outside, ignoring the other's looks, _especially_ Leliana's little smile, he made for Lynn's tent.

Inside it was dark, dark and depressing.

Lynn wasn't hard to miss, the woman lying in her bedding, face down, hugging her pillow. In the darkness of the tent it was hard to make out anything but her silhouette...but Alistair could tell she was trembling, muffling her sobs with the pillow._ Brave little one_..._it's okay_..._they understand_..._there's no need to hide_. Of course Alistair wasn't so foolish to actually _say_ that, no, he liked _not_ being yelled at. Instead he settled for putting down his figurine at the foot of her bedding and moving to light a candle.

The flame flickered, then steadied, casting a warm glow over the tent's interior. Placing it down on the small stool in the corner of the tent Alistair moved to sit next to the woman, to consider his tactic as she continued to push her face into her pillow, ignoring him.

_Saying I'm sorry won't help_..._it's not her way_. Alistair suppressed the urge, knowing it would just make the woman angrier, or _sadder_...probably both. _So_..._hmm_..._what_ _could_ _help_? Alistair sighed, for a horrible moment feeling hesitation, not being sure how to reach her.

Then it came to him.

"You know...this isn't really you."

"What?" The question came through the pillow, muffled yet distinctly angry. _Steady_... "What did you say?" _Steady_... The woman rolled onto her back, amber eyes nearly glowing in the light of the candle as she narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm grieving and you...say this?" _Steady_.... "Why would..." She shook her head, confused, too weary to express her anger. "...this is my fault and you go and..."

"How is it your fault?" Alistair asked, knowing he had a window of opportunity before Lynn's shock was defeated by her anger.

"_I_ killed the arl's son..." Lynn whimpered, looking away. _Oh_... "...Duncan was supposed to talk to the arl...and all died...and I didn't even _think_ of it until now! I just...I thought it was over with the arl being dead."_ Oh, that's not_..._no, think Alistair, a way out, Lynn finds ways out_..._now do the same_. "All the riots...my fault..." She rolled back unto her stomach and slammed her head into the pillow. "Should have taken the money..." _Eh_?

Frowning Alistair rested his chin against his hand as he spoke. "Lets examine that for a moment...Duncan and the arl dying clearly wasn't your fault. The new arl choosing to punish the alienage over a crime while they were still upset over Ostagar...still not your fault. Them choosing to riot...well since you were probably off in Orzammar I'd say that's not your fault. Killing the arl's son...I have a feeling you didn't pick that fight...ergo he got himself killed. You took just a _small_ part in this...why put all the guilt on yourself?"

"That..." He could _feel_ Lynn frown into the pillow. "...makes sense?" _You don't have to sound so shocked_. Smiling Alistair realised he was on the right path even as another sob escaped Lynn, her face digging into the pillow. "B-but my family...they're....they're _dead_...it can't...it doesn't...help..."

"Again, lets examine that." Alistair straightened, feeling confident all of a sudden. "Do you _know_ they're dead?"

"N-no..."

"Have they _not_ survived poverty, riots and oppressive guards?" Not even Alistair was naïve enough not to believe some of those tales were true...though it left a bad taste to speak of it for some reason.

"Y-yes..."

"So isn't it quite likely that they've actually survived _this_ riot and are going on with their daily lives even as we speak?"

"Y..." The woman turned a little, glancing at him. "...yes."

Grinning Alistair leant closer. "And considering they're of _your_ blood...and _endured_ _you_ for _ages_...I'd say it's quite likely they're tough enough to have survived."

"I..._yes_..." The woman rolled over onto her back again, staring straight ahead of her and scowling for some reason. "..._how_ didn't I see that? I...I feel a bit silly now."

"Well you know _you_." Alistair shot her an awkward smile. "Always acting on your emotions, never thinking."

A snort and a smile and Lynn tossed her pillow at him. Chuckling he let the pillow bounce off him and watched the woman pout in feigned irritation at him. "You're horrible...and don't think I won't make you pay for the whole 'enduring me' comment."

"I _beg_ for mercy." Alistair smiled and leant forward, giving an equally smiling Lynn a quick kiss on the lips before withdrawing. "And I _brought_ payment..." _Moment of truth_. He reached down and pulled up the figurine to Lynn's eye-level. "...I...well...made this for you..."

There was a small gasp, nearly frightened, then a small hand carefully reaching out to grab the figurine, pulling it closer. "It's...so lifelike...I thought you'd brought a snake..." The woman whispered as she held it in one hand while the other moved towards the head of the archdemon, small fingers carefully sliding across its features, eyes wide as the gaze followed the digits trail._ I scared her_.

Swallowing his sudden guilt Alistair tried to explain: "I...well I wasn't sure what to make really. But...well you always dream of the archdemon...and well...you're one to take on the problems head on...so I thought..." He made a gesture for the little woman sitting on the miniature archdemon. "It seemed fitting at the time, sort of a memento of what _will_ happen in the future...a promise if you will." He chuckled at his own idiocy. "Honestly I can't think of any other outcome if the two of you meet..."

"H-how...did you do this?" Lynn turned the figurine over, staring intently at the little face emulating her own. "I...it's a mirror..."

"Took me a while." Alistair admitted, feeling the guilt wash away as he realised Lynn wasn't upset. Not _at all_ in fact. "Doing the eyebrows was torture I can tell you...would it _kill_ you to grow them a little bushier?" He managed an awkward smile.

"_Bushier_!?" A laugh escaped Lynn as she put the figurine aside. _Awww, she's already bored with it_?_ I thought_-

Lips.

Blinking Alistair realised she had somehow managed to catch him off guard once more. _This_ time however he wasn't slow to reciprocate, to meet her kiss. It was..._overwhelming_ was the only word coming to him, like a wave of heat washing over him, pulling him away from his body until it was a miracle he didn't faint.

All too soon it was over, leaving him gasping for air, realising that his hands had somehow come to reach the sides of her neck, her own digging into his hair as they sat opposite one another. Forehead against forehead, both breathing heavily, recovering. "Maker, I think I love you..."

_Oh no_.

_Did I just_...Alistair swallowed, sudden fear squeezing his heart as he realised what he had said. _I did_. He closed his eyes, hard, wanting nothing but to disappear. _I really do...but I shouldn't have said it, I shouldn't_...

"I..."

_Good work, you were doing so well_...nearly sighing Alistair opened his eyes, wanting nothing but to get it over with, to see her run. _I'm such a fool_.

Lynn was looking away, her forehead creased in a confused frown. "I..." The frown deepened, confusion running rampant across her face. "...love you too..." _By all the_..._yes_! _Yes_! _Yes_! Feeling as if his heart would explode all Alistair could do to stop himself from crying out in victory was biting his lip until it nearly started bleeding. "H-how...." A shy smile, confused, _happy_...amber eyes looking up at him. "...how did you _do_ that?"

"Fooled you didn't I?" Alistair chuckled, his right hand coming up to hold Lynn by her hair as he pulled her closer, finding her lips once more. It was _sweet_, tasted of wonder and happiness. _Maker, thank you_. The solemn thought quickly disappeared though as Alistair pushed himself closer, feeling a laugh bubble out of him and only silencing it by pushing closer to the woman opposite him. _Thank you_!

The hands in his hair dug into it, nearly tearing at it as Lynn answered his happiness, the lips against his creasing into a grin, making him grin in turn. It made for an awkward kiss...but Alistair couldn't care less...and neither could Lynn judging by the muffled laugh of hers._ Thank you_! He felt himself grow warmer and warmer with happiness, until it was a wonder he didn't burst into flames. _Thank you_! The skin under his palm was even warmer somehow...Lynn's usual cool skin nearly scalding him. _Thank_ _you_...

The hand on her neck went to her shoulder, finding skin under the edge of her tunic even as the other clutched at her hair even harder, holding him steady as the world suddenly shrunk, leaving none but him and her.

A hand on his chest, pressing, burning through his shirt, the other coming down from his hair to clutch at his neck as Lynn pulled back to gasp: "Alistair...I..." Suddenly having his mouth freed Alistair leant further forward, finding Lynn's throat, the flesh there thin and soft...and nearly burning as he felt her heavy breathing through his lips. "I...Alistair..."

_Maker_. Alistair felt something tug at his heart, almost as if it was a darkspawn nearby, but more powerful, more _primal_. Falling forward he bowled Lynn over so she lay across her bedding, uncaring of such minor details he crushed her under his weight, a groan escaping him as he felt her movement beneath him. He kissed his way lower...to a collar bone. "Alistair I..." Lower, smooth skin, sloping slightly. Lower... "Alistair!"

Blinking he realised what he was doing, then blinked again. _Wait_..._how_ _is_ _this_ _wrong_? _I_..._what_...okay..._get a grip_..._calm_... A deep breath...and he looked up at the woman underneath him. Lynn was still breathing heavily, her face flushed..._lusting_. But there was something else in her eyes...something struggling with her desires. _Is_ _that_..._fear_? _I_..._that_ _doesn't_... "What?" He nearly winced at his own words, realising how irritated he sounded. _Well_..._I_ _kind_ _of_ _am_. _Maker_..._breathe_..._breathe_..._calm_..._think of something else_..._the revered mother_... He shuddered in disgust, but was happy that it seemed to do the trick.

"I..." Lynn shook her head, the flush of her face receding somewhat. "It's...well..." She bit her bottom lip, fresh confusion in her face as she tried to put it into words.

_What the_..._she wanted this before! And now_..._oh_..._now it's different_. Alistair wasn't really sure exactly why it would bother her now, she _did_ love him after all...but considering she had been so eager before...he could sort of see that something was amiss. _Sex that matters_... He saw the fear, the worry in Lynn's eyes, trying to gauge his reaction, afraid of seeing disappointment or anger. _Smile_. He smiled...and it became honest the instant he saw the relief in her eyes. "It's okay...I understand."

"D-do you?" Lynn asked, still a bit afraid.

"Partly." Alistair shrugged and took a calming breath, putting the final shreds of his willpower into wresting total control from...._whatever_ had taken over his body. "And it's _okay_, don't worry...I won't leave." He chuckled at the confusion. "Haven't before have I? Just take you time, I might not know all of what's wrong...but I'm not about to get upset over this little thing." 

A small laugh, Lynn smiling, breathing out in relief as her hand came up to his cheek, cool and soothing. "Maker I love you..."

Alistair grinned. "You know, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that..."

"Don't worry..." The hand lingered as Lynn's smile widened. "...I won't stop saying it." Slowly the hand dropped down. "Now...love..." She suddenly giggled, _giggled_! Alistair grinned. "...what do you want to do now?"

"Well I..." He let his gaze go lower, finding her body hugged by her tunic that had begun...to ride up... Taking a deep breath he forced himself to look away, his hands tightening around the blanket. "...don't trust myself...I think I'll chop wood now...a lot..." He shook with the effort of not pulling himself back down, then turned, releasing the blanket with an effort of will. _And a cold bath would be good too_..._several in fact_..._with ice preferably_.

A soft chuckle. "Just don't cut down the entire forest, love."

Stumbling over to the entrance to the tent Alistair glanced back at the woman now having pulled the blanket over her, the thing moulding to her body. _Maker_...Alistair managed a smile even as he took a shuddering breath. "No promises."

The smile of the woman faded, just a little. "I _do_ love you, you know..."

_It's okay_. Alistair grinned, suddenly finding it easy to focus on Lynn's face instead of the oh so close body. "I know." He laughed, short and bubbling. "I love you too."

Then he forced himself to step out, not trusting himself to stay for another moment. The air was surprisingly cold, shocking his sluggish system into proper awareness.

Which of course meant he saw Morrigan stand just a few feet away, _smirking_ at him. Torn between a smile of his own and an irritated scowl Alistair pointed at her. "Not a word."

The witch chuckled, but raised her hands in mock surrender.

Ignoring her Alistair turned to march towards his tent. _Axe, I need my axe_. To his relief Oghren was nearby, the dwarf laughing even as he tossed Alistair the little worn hand-axe he used. Alistair frowned a little as he caught the small tool and moved onwards, ignoring the burning gazes boring into his back. _What_?_ Was everyone eavesdropping or something_?

Shaking his head he moved towards the nearby tree-line, already picking out the first tree to fall to his pent up frustration...then smiled._ It's okay_. Suddenly whistling he stepped up to the tree and raised his axe for a swing, grinning like crazy even before the swing connected.

_She loves me_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for all her help with this one._


	50. Chapter 50

"_**Run**_**.**"

She ran, as she always did, blood pouring from her feet as the sharp stones covering the ground tore through their soles. She was naked, as always, exposed, vulnerable...and about to die.

_No_.

"_**I will find you**_."

Above the sky was dark and green...and it was raining....raining _blood_. Blinking Lynn tried to clear her vision from the burning liquid, trying to remember when that had started but failing...for all she knew it had _always_ been raining blood.

_No_.

"_**I will feast upon you.**_"

She cried, head bowed low as she ran, trying not to see the millions of dead strewn across the field around her. All were starring at her with bloody sockets where their eyes were should have been, the closest reaching out, flaying her legs as she heedlessly went on.

_No_!

"_**You will die.**_"

She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting nothing but to shut out the sound of the archdemon's mocking tone. Not to _hear_, not to _see_, not to _know_...her _doom_.

"No."

Lynn stumbled, slipped, straightened...stopped...and realised _she_ had been the one speaking. Opening her eyes she watched the field of dead around her, the death and despair surrounding her...and frowned as she repeated the word: "No." It was _strange_ to hear herself speak here, to hear her voice utter something but screams...and _liberating_.

"_**Die.**_"

A crash of breaking stone, the ground shaking...a shiver of dread running up her spine. Lynn realised the archdemon was right behind her, savouring its victory.

"No." Lynn turned and found the archdemon standing a mere couple of feet away, smiling down at her. She wavered...fear rolling over her like a tidal wave...then glared back at the creature, steadying herself with an equal measure of anger and defiance. "No, I will not."

"_**No?**_" The mocking chuckle bored into her, sending jolts of pain through her skull.

She slowly shook her head, ignoring the pain. "This is nothing, just a dream." She took a step forward, feeling her skin prickle at the closeness of the evil in front of her. "This pain is nothing, just a trick." Another step forward, creating a burning across her skin as it begun to flake and die. "_You_ are nothing, just a coward."

"_**You dare-**_"

"I _dare_!" Lynn yelled, taking another step forward, ignoring the way her skin begun to bleed as muscles and tendons started to appear. "You may kill me a _thousand_ times here! It doesn't _matter_!" She narrowed her eyes at the creature, the archdemon's head cocked to the side in what almost looked like confusion. "For I will _find_ you...and I _will_ kill you." She pointed at the demon, her outstretched arm searing into nothing but bones and tendons right before her eyes even as she continued: "_This_, I promise you."

A mocking laughter was the only answer, the archdemon smiling down at her as it leant closer, its presence burning into organs and flesh, setting Lynn afire with fresh pain.

She was _used_ to the pain by now however, it didn't matter to her, all there was left was the _fear_...which she had now _conquered_. Suddenly clear-sighted Lynn realised something as she saw the cruel smile of the creature. _It's a bluff_..._it's_ _afraid_.

Even as her body begun to disintegrate Lynn continued to meet the gaze of the archdemon...glaring at it, watching its vain attempt to inspire fear with growing hope._ It's afraid_!

She smiled.

*

*

*

Awake.

Lynn took a deep breath, her eyes still closed as her lips curled into a smile. _A good night_. A content sigh escaped her as she felt the slight cold of the air on her face, a reminder of how close they were to Haven by now, she pulled her covers closer.

"Sooo...no dream tonight?" The voice, the _wonderful_ voice came, uncertain, confused.

Opening her eyes Lynn sighed once more, looking down to see Alistair kneeling at the entrance of the tent, as always ready to help when she awoke. _I love you_. She smiled at him as she yawned, back arching to remove the stiffness in it. A third sigh escaped her as she came back down onto her bedding and turned her head to look at the stool next to her head. Normally there would have been a glass of water there along with a candle....but now it was too crowded for that, all space taken up by Alistair's magically preserved rose and his latest gift...the_ soon to be_ dead archdemon.

Lynn's smile turned into a grin.

"A night without a nightmare...did you _finally_ agree to eat those herbs I got from Wynne?" Alistair sounded relieved, no doubt happy that his insistence had relieved her of her horrors, if only for one night.

Lynn glanced at her pack lying in the corner of the tent. It _still_ contained the herbs she by a matter of pride had refused to take, arguing with herself that she was refusing them so she could be quickly awoken if the camp was attacked. Of course she had had _quite_ some trouble stopping Alistair from force-feeding her them...the grin widened as she leapt to her feet...and straight into Alistair.

"Oph!" A surprised grunt and Alistair fell backwards, her atop him as she mashed her lips into his. _Maker I love you_! The only reason she pulled back was Alistair pushing her shoulders back, revealing the beautiful awkward smile of the ex-templar. "And what did I do to deserve _this_?"

Still grinning Lynn raised her right hand up to his face and moved her index finger down his nose teasingly. "Just for being you." A little extra pressure on the tip of his nose...and she was up on her feet, laughing slightly at the confused look of the man.

"Well..." Alistair blinked, his confusion quickly melting away and being replaced by a lopsided grin. "...then I'll continue to be just that."

"You'd better." Lynn shook her head and smiled, just feeling..._happy_...for some reason. _Yes_..._some_ _reason_. She shot the man a final grin before stepping over him, ignoring the cold biting into her bare legs as she pulled her tunic back into proper order. _Focus girl_..._breakfast, then pack up the camp. We're close_..._very close_... She felt a bit eager at the thought, wanting nothing more but to finish it all. Once that was done...well for some reason she couldn't fathom anything but good scenarios.

She was still grinning when she stepped up to where Leliana was stirring the boiling broth they'd lived on these last few days, the hot food helping somewhat against the growing cold as they ascended the mountains. The bard was sitting on one of the four felled logs surrounding the fire place, a wooden ladle in her hand as she slowly stirred it. Morrigan and Wynne too sat by the fire, on one log each, opposite one another, the warmth and promise of good food helping to ease the ever-present tension between the two women.

"Sten?"

Leliana shrugged. "Eaten already, of course." They exchanged a grin. "And no, still don't know where he hides those cookies, but I _will_ find out, no?" The bard chuckled.

"Oghren?"

"Still rolling around in his own filth." Morrigan volunteered with a sneer. Stabbing the fire with her staff, making Wynne frown in irritation. "As for Zevran, he _too_ is rolling around in Oghren's filth." _Eh_? 

Smiling at Lynn's arched eyebrow Wynne was the next to volunteer information. "A bet my dear...I'm not sure _who_ won actually." The old woman rolled her eyes. "If _anyone_ could be called a winner when both are left in such a state."

Sitting down on the remaining log Lynn held out her hand to receive the wooden bowl Wynne offered. "I see...they're not freezing to death are they?"

"No dear, I've given them blankets already." Ignoring Morrigan's scoff Wynne continued. "And aren't _you_? Surely we have some trousers somewhere..." She glanced at the pale legs sticking out from underneath the long tunic that was Lynn's nightshirt.

"That's not necessary, I'll get into my armour in a few moments anyway." Lynn waved the concern aside even as she took the spoon offered by Morrigan, making sure to shoot the witch a grateful nod as she dipped it into the bowl. "Trousers are for when I'm outside of camp..."

"Besides..." Leliana's changed tone made Lynn's ears flush as she saw a decidedly suggestive grin on the bard's face. "...she's warmed by _love_ now, trousers would just get in the way..." She grin got even worse as she winked in Lynn's direction. "...no?"

Of course they knew, ever since the Brecilian forest Lynn and Alistair hadn't been able to stay away from one another, and _certainly_ not kept the kisses to within her tent. To hear the others speak of it however...Lynn felt the flush around her ears grow worse. "Well I...no."

"_Really_? Seems the only thing that doornail might actually be _good_ at, considering it requires a minimal amount of thinking." Morrigan rolled her eyes at the defensive glare Lynn shot her. "_Fine_, one of the _many_ things he's good at for you..."

"Thank you." Lynn chuckled and took a sip from the broth...before putting the spoon back into the bowl. _Still too hot_... "Next time, do it without the eye rolling."

"Awww...why not? It would be so _adorable_!" Leliana giggled. "The little chantry boy becoming fully grown...in so many ways." Another wink and Lynn felt her ears beginning to burn even as she became confused by her own embarrassment. _What the_..._I_..._I'm supposed to be_..._how_...?

"I for one commend you." Wynne nodded sagely. "In fact I think this whole thing might be a bit...dangerous, surely you realise that-"

_Why haven't we? We've had ample time by now_..._not that Alistair has pressed the issue ever since_..._back then_.

"Oh don't be such a stick in the mud." Leliana protested, smirking. "I for one think it's romantic..."

_Maybe he doesn't even think about it any more_?_ No_..._no that's stupid, I've seen his eyes_...

"_You_ would find a pair of peasants sleeping in the mud romantic." Morrigan scoffed.

_But I can't just_..._it's strange but I don't want him to loose that naivety_.

"It _is_! From a certain point of view..." Leliana ignored Morrigan's snort as she continued. "But just imagine, that strong man all over you, ready to..."

_No, no that's not it_..._I just_..._I just don't want him to be disappointed, I know he will be. He thinks it's something it's not_..._he'll be disappointed when he finds out what it is_...

"Hey! I'm eating here!" Morrigan grimaced. "Isn't it bad enough I have to look at him?"

_I don't want that for him_..._or me_..._damn his ideas, it's nothing special_!_ It __isn't_!

"You are both being ridiculous." Wynne protested and shook her head. "This is a serious matter that could well-"

_It isn't_... Sighing Lynn forced herself to focus on something else, like the odd argument before her.

"Ah yes, 'doom shall befall all who dare to mate'." Morrigan held her hands high, as if calling upon some greater power...followed by a scoff as she lowered them. "While this whole insipid love thing annoys me it will not bring some great disaster upon us all." _Huh_...Lynn shot the witch a grateful look, making the corner of Morrigan's lip rise.

"Is that how you feel?" Wynne narrowed her eyes at the witch even as her lips quirked into a smile. "Then how come you asked such pointed questions at Alistair before? He became quite distraught..."

_Oh really_? Cocking her head to the side she continued to look at a suddenly uncomfortable-looking Morrigan. "Well..." The witch glanced at Lynn. "...I...that is..."

"Oh don't be so mean." Leliana giggled. "Morrigan's just being herself...it's her duty to rile Alistair up, makes him all the more desperate to stay with Lynn, no?" Morrigan and Lynn both blinked in surprise of the kindness shown the witch and looked over at the bard. "So in fact she's doing Lynn a favour, no?"

"I...suppose..." Morrigan blinked, then frowned, golden eyes glancing at Lynn before focusing on the fire, the witch looking irritated all of a sudden. Lynn couldn't help but smile at it. _Oh yes, being a friend, must be really annoying you eh_?_ I'll remember not to tease you too much about it_...

Wynne too had settled for staring into the fire, an oddly distant look on her face as she stirred her food, her words coming out muttered and dull. "Foolish youth..."

Just as Lynn was about to ask what the old woman meant she was interrupted by something thick and fuzzy draped across her shoulders. Glancing back she realised it was a blanket, Alistair leaning over her as he pulled it around her, voice soft. "You're shivering...take this." Smiling, _content_, Lynn pulled the blanket closer around her and leant her head back against the chest of the man.

_Warmth_...

Ignoring the 'aww' of Leliana Lynn turned her head where it rested on him and kissed him briefly,her voice nothing but a content whisper. "I love you..."

A chuckle escaped Alistair as his arms came around to hug her through the blanket, his head coming to rest at the nape of her neck. "Love you too..." 

Closing her eyes Lynn rested, feeling nothing but...content.

And _warmth_.

**

_Thanks goes to Abydos Jackson, as always._


	51. Chapter 51

The hospitality of the Haven's 'priest' had been less than warm...and not at all surprising to the by now hardened Lynn.

And now only four of them were pushing through the ruins of the great temple, moving forward to reach Andraste herself.

The rest had been ordered by Lynn to remain behind to guard the entrance since the great number of villagers back there were still massing for an assault. Not that Lynn was worried for those left behind, they could handle some cultists, especially from a defended position. Though considering the cultists were still villagers she'd found herself choosing Wynne to accompany her, Alistair and Leliana instead of Morrigan...judging that the witch would have less of an issue incinerating the barely armed villagers.

Still, even _without_ Morrigan's destructive spells their advance had been nothing but amazing. They worked as _one_ by now. Wynne kept the warriors healed and invigorated between a few destructive spells of her own. Leliana's archery was so accurate that so far not a single cultist mage had gotten a spell off, her silent steps always ahead of the group, the eagle-eyed woman finding traps and foes with unerring skill. As for the two wardens...

Lynn wasn't sure what had happened, but she had stopped shouting, even cursing...leaving it to Alistair to shout out far more encouraging words instead, something which he'd become adept at. Instead she simply swept into the foes, hearing nothing but her own breathing and the song in her veins. She rushed in among the foes, ducking and weaving on pure _instinct_, avoiding any blow aimed at her...as all before her _fell_. Her sword and axe were a mere extension of her limbs, the slightest _touch_ opened jugulars and cleaving through weak points, killing men before they even hit the ground.

And just behind her Alistair cleaved his way after her, his nearly mechanical moves killing anything getting close. Whatever they did he had an _answer_, whatever they did he simply _overpowered_ them, whatever they did they _died_ before him. He took the odd blow, but it never harmed him, not even when it drew blood did it slow him down, such trivialities beneath the notice of the champion and his controlled fury that crushed anyone before him.

And so they had slaughtered the guards before them. Instinct and thought, speed and strength, a storm and a rock, wind and water....and _nothing_ could stand before them, not even Kolgrim and his surprising tenacity had been anything but half a challenge.

And now they were so _close_, at the other end of the great crevice opening up before them Lynn could see a partly ruined temple wherein Andraste's ashes _had_ to lie. It almost looked as if the mountain before them had been cleaved in two by some great force, the cliffs rising on each side of the distant temple before opening into a larger field pockmarked by strange craters and bubbling pools of some kind of acid. Not that Lynn cared too much about that, her eyes focused on the temple at the distance. _So close_..._I can almost feel its presence_.

"What are you smiling about?" Lynn shot Alistair a glance as they marched out into the open. "Don't tell me you're getting giddy like Leliana?" He nodded at the front where the ghosting shape of Leliana was visibly struggling not to start running, eager to reach the temple where Andraste's remains lay.

Taking a deep breath, enjoying the crisp mountain air Lynn shrugged. "Just thinking about our progress."

"You're telling me, I'm still shocked you didn't take Kolgrim's offer." Alistair arched an amused eyebrow. "He offered _pooower_." He gave her a meaning look.

Lynn chuckled even as she answered: "Power often comes with a price, is it so strange that I didn't want to desecrate a great religious icon?" She noted Alistair's continued knowing look and sighed, pouting a little. "Okay, I _might_ not have wanted to risk the ashes healing properties either...we _need_ Eamon you know..."

"That's better." Alistair chuckled and turned back towards the strange crevice they had arrived at, eyes focusing on the temple in the distance. _We're so close_... "Though...you _do_ realise you could have just picked some ashes and _then_ desecrated it?" He shot her another knowing look.

"I'm not a simpleton!" Lynn protested, indignant, drawing another chuckle out of the man. "Besides, if there's magic at work you don't take chances, I had a perfectly good reason not to take his offer...stop smiling!" _And here I thought templars were supposed to be solemn_..._though he shattered __that__ idea __ages__ ago_.

"You're reeeliiigious..."

"I am n-_shut_ _up_! We're fighting an archdemon! An old _god_! I'm just looking at facts!"

"_Preach_ it sister!"

"I..." Lynn shook her head in amusement and irritation, mostly amusement however, as her grin could testify to. "I swear you're going to be the death of me...now shut up!"

"I'd advise you _both_ to..." Wynne muttered behind them, making both glance back to see the old woman worried grimace. "...to be _silent_..." She nodded forward. "...or this journey may end right now."

Following the gaze of the mage Lynn found herself coming to a quick stop.

The dragon was _huge_...far larger then Flemeth's shapeshifted version, or so it seemd to Lynn's wide eyes. Purple and lean the creatures long neck was covered in thick spikes, nearly resembling rose-thorns. The creature's angular skull also sported two pair of spikes, far longer then the rest. One pair arched back from the back of its skull and the other stuck out from the back of its jaw, protecting the neck closest to its head. It looked like the archdemon, yet was lighter in colour, _less_...vicious..._less_ cruel.

Of course part of the reason to _that_ was that it lay atop a ridge next to the entrance of the temple, leisurely resting, reminding Lynn of a great cat for some reason.

She could feel the others' stares, their waiting.

Finally she shrugged. "No, stay quiet everyone...we move towards the temple."

Silently the group began to move, all crouching low as they slowly moved across the open field between them and the safety that the temple might offer. All staring up at the resting dragon, watching its closed eyes with simmering dread. _Why do I get the feeling we're mice sneaking past the cat_?

With a snort it moved its head to a more comfortable position, making them all freeze midway through the field...before continuing as Lynn watched the nostrils of the creature snort and sniff.

"Hey Lynn..."

"Yeah...?" Lynn whispered back, not even daring to risk a glance at Alistair at her side.

"What did Kolgrim say? About it smelling the death of its disciples and its young and all that...?"

"Erm...just that." Lynn was suddenly painfully aware of the splatters of blood covering her, _marking_ her. "I sort of thought he was just bluffing..."

A growl, making the mountain shake, and _very_ vicious yellow eyes were suddenly fixed on the four little figures below the dragon._ I could be wrong though_... Lynn pulled her helmet back on.

"Leliana! Wynne! Take cover!" Lynn barely had time to shout the order before anything else she could have said was drowned by the echoing roar of the dragon as it rose to its feet, making Lynn and Alistair both take a step back as they stared at the massive creature rearing up above them. _Nice dragon_...

A flap of its great wings and it rose above its resting place...and swept right at them.

Lynn leapt on instinct, flying to the right she barely dodged a talloned claw crashing into the ground she had been standing on. Spinning mid-air she saw Alistair stand firm, the former templar raising his shield as he was showered with stones thrown up by the dragon's hard landing. A moment later he was swallowed by the following dust.

"_No_!" Landing on her feet Lynn begun to run back, only dimly aware that she was drawing her weapons as she did so.

As the dust blew away she realised Alistair was more then alive though. The silver warrior span clockwise and dodged the clawed foot crashing into the ground where he had stood, his sword neatly slicing into the creature's ankle. The dragon didn't care though, the wound a mere scratch to it as it snapped its jaw at Alistair, something he somehow managed to duck beneath before treating its jaw to an uppercut from his shield.

A growl and the dragon swept its tail after him, something he could do nothing but to block with his shield, the force of the blow sending him stumbling back with a loud grunt.

An arrow whistled past the sprinting Lynn's head, then another, and another. All three missiles neatly bored themselves into the length of the dragon's neck, making it recoil instead of pressing its advantage on an Alistair that was already being bathed in Wynne's healing spell.

Then Lynn was there.

Leaping onto the distracted dragon's left foot she dug her axe into its knee, making it instinctively pull it up...and sent her flying up far enough to bore her sword into its wing. There was blood...a pull of gravity...and she slid down the length of its wing until her feet hit its side...which she instantly smashed her axe into.

A great howl and the dragon stumbled sideways, shaking itself like a wet dog until Lynn fell of like an unwanted insect.

She fell...twisted...and landed on one knee in the snow and mud of the field, clumps of dark rain pouring over her, making her grin. _That'll teach you to hit him_.

Then she jumped back, barely avoiding sweeping tail meant to crush her against the ground, rolling with the fall she got to her feet...in time to see the advancing dragon once more being distracted by Alistair digging his sword into its right foot while Leliana's arrows accompanied by a bolt of lightning struck smashed into the dragon's head, making it hiss in irration.

And kick out.

The foremost claw of the foot slid past the rim of Alistair's shield, the clang of it hitting his helmet echoing over the field even as the force of the kick itself pushed his shield into his chest and sent him flying. _No_. Rolling and tumbling along the ground the man had gone limp. _No_! His helmet flew off, an explosion of blood following. _No_! Before finally smashing into a small rock with a crunching sound, sending more blood pouring out from the gore-covered face of the man, pale whites shining through it as his eyes rolled back.

_NO_!

Grunting, Lynn leapt forward, barely aware of Wynne's voice booming with an heavy enchantment, or Leliana's storm of arrows showering the dragon's face and making it rear back in confusion.

All that mattered was the death of the dragon.

She leapt, landed onto its left foot, kicked out...and flew...sword first into its chest. Ignoring the dragon's growl she swung about and dug her axe into the other side of its underside even as she pulled her sword free...another swing and the sword was stabbed into its flank. The growl turned into a roar even as Lynn once more swung around, her axe finding the muscles between the creature's torso and its right wing, tearing them open with a loud snap.

A howl, a shake...and Lynn found herself tossed off...flying through the air.

_Pain_.

Landing heavily on the ground Lynn realised she'd fallen on her left side, hard enough to nearly break the arm beneath her, as well to make the axe beneath her dig into her side. _Where's_...a crashing sound interrupted her thoughts and she looked up to see the dragon approach. Blood was dripping from its torso where she had climbed, her sword stuck deep in its right flank, barely visible under the now limply hanging wing. It looked _angry_...

_Get_ _up_.

_Move_.

Lynn grunted, trying to get up but feeling far too heavy all of a sudden, despite the feel of Wynne's healing magic beginning to grow around her. _Too late_. Leliana's arrows ploughed into the dragon's neck or bounced off heavy scales, nearly distracting it from its target. _Too late_.

Feeling a strange pang in her right arm Lynn stiffened, readying herself for the pain even as the dragon reared back its head before lunging at her, jaws snapping towards her...

And closing around a shield.

Still glowing through the tears of his armour from the after-effect of Wynne's healing Alistair held the creature at bay, his sweaty hair still thick with his own blood as his eyes narrowed in fury, the man larger than life. _Maker_...

A growl escaped the dragon as it tightened its jaws around the shield shoved into its mouth.

The shield buckled...cracked...but held.

Pushing his shield-arm upwards Alistair forced its chin up...and growled as he smashed his sword into the soft underside of the dragon's jaw.

Blood poured from the wound. _Maker_...

An odd whining sound escaped the dragon as it opened its mouth, body shaking as it tried to breathe fire.

Growling the warden released his shield, let it fall to the ground...and instead grabbed the creature by the snout while freeing his blade. With his free hand pushing the dragon's head sideways, sending the column of fire escaping its mouth to scorch the ground instead....he slashed his sword into the dragon's skull.

Another whine, the dragon trying to pull away, its fire-breath petering out. _Maker_...

He held it though, forced its massive head into the dirt as another slashing attack crashed into its skull. Followed by another strike, and _another_...the last one cutting its eye in two in a great explosion of gore, the one following _that_ caving part of its skull in with the sheer force of the blow.

A crash and the dragon's body fell the ground, its remaining eye closing as a third whine, so small Lynn could barely hear it, escaped it. _Maker_...

Growling, Alistair placed his left foot upon the snout of the dragon, reversed the grip on his sword, grabbed it with both hands...and slammed it through the middle of the skull of the monster.

A shudder...and it was dead.

_Maker_...

A slow breath escaped the man, the fury in his eyes disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. "Unnecessary..." He shook his head...then turned to her, his steps hurried as he came to kneel beside her, eyes full of worry. "Maker, are you okay!?"

"Y-yeah..." Lynn sat up, physically feeling fine...yet oddly numb. "You just wrestled a dragon into the dirt..."

"Huh?" Alistair muttered, not really listening as his hands drifted to the blood strained cut in Lynn's side that had already healed thanks to Wynne. Who by now had stepped up to carefully poke the dragon with her staff along with an equally curious Leliana. "Yeah, sure..."

"Alistair...you _overpowered_ a _dragon_..." Lynn tried to actually fathom it...but couldn't....despite having seen it just moments ago."I mean _sure_ it was wounded already but...are you _listening_ to me?"

"Wha...?" Alistair looked up from his scrutiny of her non-existent injuries. Confusion clear in his gore-streaked face. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Chuckling Lynn reached up to hold his cheek, a grin appearing on her lips. "You're a nut."

"Hey I don't-"

A kiss silenced him.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for being awesome._


	52. Chapter 52

_Another cultist_?

Drawing her weapons Lynn crouched into a defensive stance as she narrowed her eyes at the man standing in the other end of the room. Suddenly feeling confused she lowered them though, realising something was..._off_.

Despite the heavy armour and great maul strapped to his back the bearded man was the very essence of calm and serenity as he regarded the approaching four, patiently waiting for them as they approached. Despite their drawn weapons there was not a hint of hostility in him...in fact he didn't even glance at the weapons that had slain so many of his fellow disciples, his calm eyes moving from face to face, making Lynn shiver as his eyes moved to regard hers.

There was definitively _something_ at work here...but not something _wrong_...it was a strange sensation and Lynn found herself sheathing her weapons even as she moved closer.

The chamber they had walked into was broken and filthy, the walls crumbling and covered in mould, the ground blotchy with filth and moss. Old bones lay strewn about, broken weapons and pieces of armour discarded. It wasn't a good sign...yet Lynn didn't feel at all threatened by the man in front of her, of the way he guarded the door behind him..._or_ the situation.

_Magic_?_ Maybe we're walking into a trap_... Lynn couldn't bring herself to worry though, she felt..._calm_.

"_Welcome_." The voice had a definite ethereal echo to it, like many an abomination Lynn had faced, Connor springing immediately to mind. This echo was far softer though, not as dark...solemn. "_I see you are not of the misguided kind, and that Kolgrim and his followers are dead, I commend you_."

"You've...seen that?" Lynn shivered, feeling strangely small in front of the man, despite Alistair being taller then the man. "I get the feeling you haven't left this place in a while..."

"_I see many things from here, though I no longer possess the ability to understand it all_." There was no grief in the words, despite Lynn feeling that there _should_ be...as if the strange man before her had lost something important, yet he didn't seem to _care_...as if he was beyond feeling losses.

"W-who are you?" Lynn glanced at the others. Alistair's head was bowed ever so slightly as he regarded the other man, eyes mirroring the calm of the stranger. Behind him Wynne had cocked her head to the side, frowning in fascination. Leliana on the other hand was already on one knee, hands clasped in a silent prayer. _Strangely I feel the urge to do the same thing_...

"_It was so long that I've forgotten my name. You may call me Guardian however, for that is who I am._" The etheral voice replied, the man smiling softly. _I should grieve, I feel it_..._but I can't_..._for he doesn't_..._how strange_.

"Long?" Lynn blinked, feeling sluggish as she glanced to the broken room. "You've been here since this place was built...haven't you?"

"_Andraste was lost to us_..." There it was, _grief_, a stab at her heart, making her wince as Guardian solemnly lowered his face. "..._yet her ashes remained, a symbol of her devotion, and her sacrifice_." Joy, making her lungs swell as the smiling Guardian looked back up. "_I had no one to fight for any longer, no purpose in life_..._but Andraste_." Sadness, yet hope, confusing her. "_So I bound myself to her, to protect her from any danger_..._and so I shall continue to do until the evil of the Tevinter __imperium is undone._"

"So...the ashes _are_ here." Lynn felt a strange sensation at saying it. Despite knowing they would be there it was strange to see it so fully realised...she felt a shiver run down her spine. "W-will you stop us from taking some?" She expected an attack, anything, but the Guardian remained silent, _knowing_ she had more to say. "We need it for an ill man, to defeat the blight."

"_I know this, and I will not stop you from attempting to take a pinch of ashes from Andraste_." A faint smile. "_She approves of your actions and will to do right, never fear_."

_Never fear_...Lynn felt a weight she didn't even know she had lift of her shoulders. "I...thank you." She blinked away the sudden tear appearing in her eye. "Thank you..." _She_ _approves_...

"_But_ _beware_." Lynn felt herself suddenly tense, the solemn words digging into her. "_I will not stop you, but the gauntlet may_." Guardian gestured towards the door at his back. "_Built when I remembered my name and Andraste's friends still lived the gauntlet was designed to protect the greatest of women from the unbelievers_."

"It's...trapped?" Lynn frowned, confused.

"_A_ _test_." Guardian clarified. "Designed_ to separate the unbelievers from the worshippers of the true faith_..._and remove them from Andraste's sight_."

Worry pushed through the strange calm the presence of Guardian inspired, making Lynn shake her head. "But we are of great need...the blight needs to be defeated and arl Eamon cured. Surely if Andraste approves of such deeds she would let us pass?"

"_That is not for me to decide. If the Maker sees your need and faith as worthy of his prophet's remains he will allow you to pass, never fear_."

"I...but...yes...I understand." Lynn's shoulders slumped, realising that arguing with the spirit that didn't even have control over the test before them would be useless. "As the Maker wills it then." The thought was strangely _liberating_...and Lynn straightened back up, realising she could do nothing but walk forward and keep _faith_...she grimaced at the idea.

_We're doomed_.

"_Before you go_..._a question if you will_." Guardian frowned, puzzlement struggling with compassion in his eyes. "_I see your path, your trials_..._and I must ask_." Lynn took a step backwards, sudden _fear_ clutching her heart. _It's just a question_..._I just fought a dragon_! She nodded, muted, fearful. "_When you reached her it was too late_..." 

_No_..._please_..._no_... Lynn took a step back, the sad eyes of Guardian boring into her.

"_Shianni lay broken, the flower in your life crushed by a burden you rightly should have carried_...."

_No_..._Maker_..._don't_... Another tumbled step, making her bounce into Alistair's chest, the man's hands instantly coming to grasp her shoulders.

"_And now you are a great warrior, famous, rich_..._do you ever think of those left behind_?_ Of giving back to those that weren't as lucky as yourself_?"

_No_..._don't_ _say_ _it_..._don't_ _ask_... Lynn shook her head, but couldn't shut out the words digging into her.

"_Those that still suffer from your failure_?"

_Don't_!

A sob escaped her, Lynn's hands coming up to cradle her forehead as she lowered her head, old guilt that had been stored up for months rolling over her. _I have so much_!_ More wealth than I could have __dreamt__ of_!_ And I've given them __nothing_!_ Not a single piece of copper_! _I've been busy_!_ Busy and __uncaring_!_ I've barely even __thought__ of them for weeks in a time_! _They deserved more then that_!_ Shianni deserved more then that_!

"Y-yes...Maker _yes_..."

_Guilt_.

"I could have...I should...I..."

_Shame_.

"That's enough." Alistair growled, the hands around her shoulders tightening as he held her close, turning her so he could pull her into a hug. The breastplate was cold against her face...but Lynn didn't care as she pressed her face into it and silently cried. "I believe you have your answer spirit."

"_And what of you prince Alistair_?" Everything suddenly went very quiet, Lynn's crying instantly dying out as she looked back at Guardian, the man calm and compassionate...and dangerous. "_Do you not wonder_?_ Do you not regret your choice_?"

"Wha...I don't..."

"_Your brother lay dead, his killer took the throne, those loyal to the Theirin blood fought him_..._Ferelden in flames_." Lynn felt Alistair release her, his arms coming down to hang limply at his sides as he took a frightened step back. "_Should you not have come forth_?_ Should you not have made a bid for the crown_?"

_How does he know these things_!? Lynn shuddered, suddenly realising Guardian was striking true into Alistair's heart as well as she watched the former templar pale.

"_Does not being directly responsible for it all elevate the guilt of knowing you could have prevented your people from slaughtering one another_?" Guardian cocked his head to the side, eyes sad. "_When you pass by dead soldiers and villagers_..._do you see those killed by the orders of their lords_..._or those dead due to your own inaction_?"

Alistair's eyes widened, his face turning ghostly white as he opened his mouth to answer, no words came though. Instead he raised a trembling hand before him, stared at it..._horrified_...as if it had become covered in the blood of his countrymen. _No_..._don't_... Suddenly crying once more Lynn watched the man's mouth move in silent apology, struggle with the barbed words...and losing.

"_Enough_!" Lynn half-shouted, half-cried, making a chopping gesture towards Guardian, glaring at him through wet eyes. "Enough...no more questions...please..." She slumped, tired...no..._exhausted_ all of a sudden. "..._please_..."

"_Very_ _well_." Guardian bowed his head. "_I will respect your wishes. Seems the world has changed, yet not_." A small smile. "_May the Maker watch your steps_."

And with that...he was gone, so quickly that Lynn found herself taking a step back.

The shock instantly faded though, her exhaustion returning. Clutching Alistair's hand she ignored the questioning look of the other two women and pulled him with her, forward, towards whatever awaited them...

No words were spoken.

*

*

*

They had so far gotten through okay.

Leliana's knowledge of the chant had been indispensable in identifying the riddling spirits, making it easier for Lynn to guess the answer of them...though most had been answered by the far too clever Wynne.

Still too exhausted to be really healthy Lynn had barely flinched at the appearance of Shianni, Lynn _knew_ it was just a spirit after all...though the kind words had helped a bit...giving her enough strength to avoid Alistair's questioning look and press forward to fight those far too familiar ghosts opposing them...

It had been a little eerie to fight yourself, or what Alistair had called a 'pale reflection'...but considering she had stared down the archdemon Lynn had had no problem with slitting her 'own' throat... She had gotten used to illusions after all.

This last challenge however...had proven a bit trickier.

"I don't get it." Alistair grumbled as he shifted his weight on the rune-covered stone he stood on. Scratching the back of his head he shot Lynn a fearful look. "Should _I_ be the one who moves next?"

They had quickly discovered the idea behind the strange puzzle the chasm between them and advancement...and Wynne had quickly taken a lead in making sense of it. They had spent a good deal of time trying to many stone triggers, seeing which of them made which part of the ethereal bridge crossing the dark chasm solid. They had even tried combinations...made sure to find the right one to make crossing the chasm possible for one of them.

"For goodness sake no!" Wynne snapped, frowning as she stared at the parchment held out before her. "That would make the only solid tile fade, and I _know_ you don't want that."

Of course Lynn had refused to let Alistair be the one to cross, the man far too valuable to risk...which she of course hadn't said. Instead she had just been very authoritative...and though that had been a little harder when he'd gotten angry about her settling for herself to be the one crossing she had _still_ managed to get her will through.

_I should have sent Leliana_. It was a horrible thought, but the bard _was_ more expendable than Lynn. Primarily by virtue of Lynn being a warden, but also because Lynn was the better fighter of the two, _and_ the leader of the group.

Yet she hadn't been able to bring herself to give the order. _She_ was the one responsible for the others..._she_ was the one to take risks like this.

"Are you sure? I think...shouldn't we have already gotten her across?" Leliana replied, the bard shaking her head, her excitement at reaching the ashes now tempered by growing concern.

So now Lynn stood in the middle of the chasm, a single tile of the bridge away from crossing it...and stiff as a board as she stared down at her feet.

With the bridge not completely solid she could see right through it...see the endless darkness beneath her...ready to swallow her the moment any of the other three made a wrong move.

She eyed the solid ground a single tile of the ethereal bridge away, licking her lips in nervousness._ Too far too jump_..._yet tantalisingly close_.

"Yes, we _should_." Wynne sneered, clearly irritated as she glared at the parchment in her hand, the many combinations written down on it, a plan Wynne had spearheaded...but which now floundered for some strange reason. "It doesn't make sense..."

Lynn's gaze dropped low again, seeing the darkness below. _I don't want to die_..._not like this_...

Feeling cold sweat run down her spine Lynn licked her lips again. _A death is a death...but to not even get a chance_..._I don't want to die like this_...

_Alistair_..._I don't want to di_e...

"But we made a plan...why isn't it _working_?" The former templar muttered, fear and frustration colouring his voice.

"I don't _know_...it's as if the combinations have _changed_...give me a moment...there _must_ be a system to it..." Wynne answered, now scowling at her parchment.

_Maker_..._I_ _don't_ _want_ _to_ _die_..._please_. _Not now, not like this_.

"Lynn? Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah...yeah sure..." Lynn nodded, unable to meet Alistair's worried gaze as she looked down at the darkness beneath her, a low whisper escaping her. "About to die but otherwise I'm fine..."

"Bloody...I'm not about to be outsmarted by some stones." Wynne snapped, scratching her forehead with her pen as she glared down at her parchment, a parchment now dark with the ink from many calculations.

"And here I thought we were going to meet a test of faith." Leliana muttered. "All we've met are tests of knowledge and arms...didn't even Andraste's friends understand the heart of her teachings? It's a bit...discouraging."

_That's it_.

Lynn blinked, then frowned.

_No_..._it can't be_..._it's too simple_..._isn't_ _it_? She eyed the chasm beneath her and swallowed.

"All I know is that I'm _this_ close to tossing Lynn a rope..." Alistair muttered, the pain clear in his voice as he turned to glare at Wynne. "Aren't you _done_ yet? I'd like her to be on safe ground."

_Faith_..._no_..._I_ _just_ _go_ _with_ _what_ _I've_ _seen_...

_Maker please, I beseech thee_...The prayer sounded hollow even in her own mind, making her despair.

_I believe_..._but I believe because I see, not_..._it's not __true__ faith_...

"I'm done when I'm done, young man." Wynne grumbled, forehead creased in confusion as she eyed her calculations. "It just doesn't make sense..."

_Of course not, it has changed the rules_..._you __can't__ win_. Lynn swallowed.

_Faith_.

_Maker_..._Ferelden_ _needs_ _this_..._please_... There was no answer, no confirmation, only silence, her own shaky breathing.

_I_..._can't_..._I don't take risks like that_..._I go by facts_..._I'm not faithful like that_..._I_ _question_..._I'm_ _not_ _worthy_...

Inching forward she moved to the edge of the tile, staring down at the dark abyss before her. There was nothing but a long fall and death there, no bright light, no promise of saving or an afterlife. The Maker, as always, remained silent.

_Faith_.

_I'm_ _not_ _like_ _that_..._I_ _can't_...

"Well _make_ it make sense!" Alistair growled, looking ready to to start pacing...the only thing stopping him being the fact that he couldn't move or Lynn would plunge to a long fall and a messy death. He looked..._frustrated_, his worried eyes darting to Lynn at intervals as he continued to glare at Wynne.

_I can't, I really can't, don't make me_..._please_..._Maker_. Lynn swallowed, feeling herself shake with growing fear as the realisation dug into her, demanding an action she couldn't bring herself to.

_Faith_.

_I can't bring forth such faith_..._I can't_..._I'm stuck_..._I'll die_..._Maker...no_...

"Your shouting isn't helping young man, besides..." Wynne's reply turned into a murmur as Lynn took a deep breath, then another. She threw a glance at Alistair, the man still glaring at Wynne. _Beautiful_...he was too painful to look and she found her entire body going numb as she closed her eyes...

_Faith_.

_Alistair_.

...and stepped forward.

_Maker_..._please_.

"_Lynn_!"

Ground.

Solid.

Ground.

Gasping Lynn opened her eyes, seeing herself standing on a now solid tile of the bridge that had appeared out of nowhere to catch her blind step. A quick glance backwards revealed that the entire bridge had gone solid...and that Alistair was already rushing towards her.

_Thank you_....

Sinking to her knees Lynn felt herself shake uncontrollably, her hands shooting out to catch her as she fell. Even with the tiles solid Lynn could see the abyss below, see the darkness that by all right should have swallowed her...ended her. _Maker_...

"Lynn!" Hands around her shoulders, pulling her up to a sitting position as her fellow warden held her. "Are you okay!? What in Andraste's name were you _thinking_!?"

"Y-yeah...I-I'm f-fine." Lynn stuttered, unable to stop shaking even as Alistair held her, still starring at the darkness below her. "I-it's n-not a-about th-thinking..."

"_Obviously_ not!" The man growled in a strange mix of anger and panic, holding her so tightly it nearly hurt. "I thought...Maker...I-I don't know what I would have done."

"J-just...h-hold m-me f-for a m-moment."

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her invaluable help._


	53. Chapter 53

The ashes were theirs.

It was a bit amusing for Lynn, who, having recovered somewhat from the ordeals barely more then two days old, now watched as Leliana knelt in prayer in front of the pouch containing a pinch of Andraste's ashes. Hanging above sparse grass floor the black leather pouch looked just like any other...but it was a symbol of not only that the Chant wasn't just a tale...but also of the great struggle of the group now resting at the bottom of the mountains they had not days ago climbed.

After having recovered some of the ashes the two divisions of the group had reorganised and headed back down towards the lowlands, unimpeded save an odd snowstorm and the attack of a few starved wolves.

Still, the group had been exhausted when the downwards climb had stopped becoming a vertical one. It wasn't just the climb, nor ploughing through the storm and snow...or even the fight with the fanatical cultists still leaving the odd wound and scrape.

It was a mental exhaustion more than anything else. Everyone _knew_ that they had passed a great hurdle, that a new path now lay before them....and with that an old tension had left them, leaving the group silent and half-resting even as they walked.

So when they had reached flatter lands, devoid of snow, though the air was still a little brisk...Lynn had called an early halt. Setting camp in a glade of a sparse forest they'd moved into as they reached the lowlands they had all nearly collapsed, not out of _tiredness_, but just out of a desire to _rest_...vindicating Lynn's decision.

The tents were barely up, tools and unwashed dishes still littering the ground. Despite the sky slowly turning grey, the whole camp seemed full of...laziness. Oghren was sitting on the ground, nursing a long since flat mug of ale and bemusedly staring at the grass, already half asleep by the looks of it. Next to him Zevran lay on his back, hand under his head and softly muttering as he slept. Wynne was no better, the mage having set up her tent the moment the halt had been called and disappeared into it, not even coming out for the dinner they had had an hour ago.

Leliana still had some energy in her though, the bard on one knee as she rocked back and forth while muttering prayers in front of the leather pouch Lynn had hung up. A little away from the bard Morrigan lay, lazily resting against the pile of packs they had dumped into the centre of the camp and watching Leliana with eyes both weary and amused.

Only Sten remained standing, the tireless giant chewing on some dried up meat as he continued his circuit of the camp. Even _he_ seemed tired though, his walk not as vigilant as normal, his behaviour almost _casual_.

It was relaxing to see them all like that.

Half-sitting with her back against a warm fellow warden, equally warm arms around her waist Lynn rested, content to remain silent as her hands played with the hem of her tunic.

She _knew_ she should speak though, that Alistair was _not_ content, however much he tried to pretend as such.

Ever since they had left Haven behind the former templar had been quiet...reserved even. Not with _her_ of course...but he had still been a bit less talkative. It wasn't as if he was really sad, or even _upset_...but there had obviously been more thinking and less talking with the man as of late.

He hadn't told a joke for two days.

"What's on your mind?" She whispered, sighing as she forced herself to ignore the little warning voice in the back of her head. Instead she merely inched closer to the man, as always surprised that was even possible considering how close they already were. "You've been awfully quiet."

"Just...thinking." Alistair murmured back, face coming down to kiss the top of Lynn's head, making her sigh happily. "What do you think will happen...later I mean?"

"I don't know." She answered truthfully, hands coming up to close around Alistair's wrists, pulling his arms tighter around her. "Maybe the ashes will work, maybe not...only time can tell."

_And after that_?

She could sense Alistair's unspoken question, his worry of the future...making her own all too real all of a sudden. "I don't want things to change..." She smiled at the resting companions before her, her _friends_, recovering and enjoying the afterglow of their great achievement. It was a strangely idyllic scene to Lynn, drawing another contented sigh out of her. "..._ever_."

"Me neither..." Alistair muttered, but it was without fervour, they both _knew_ things would change. They had their allies, soon they would have secured Redcliffe's support...and _then_...then they would have to _truly_ act.

It was unknown territory though, and only the worried Alistair seemed to have even a glimpse of the map...making Lynn all the more fearful.

"I hope you didn't...take his words too seriously." She bit her lip, shuddering at the memory of Alistair, _Alistair_ of all people, looking horrified with himself. "It was another test, nothing more...and don't you think you being revealed would have changed anything. There would have still been a war." She had already reasoned her way past her own question, reminding herself that she had made proper prioritising to protect Ferelden, and in so doing, her own people. But _Alistair_...he was too _emotional_...

Lynn was _worried_, the blows upon others made too grievous injuries upon the man...how would he handle it if he took upon himself the wounds of an entire nation?

Alistair's voice was soft: "I know." _Thank the Maker_. "Yet..." She stiffened in his arms, listening intently all of a sudden. "...no, forget it." She could feel him shake his head, even with him behind her she could feel his weariness, the worry digging into him. Indecisiveness.

_I don't want things to change_...

"Come." Getting to her feet Lynn pulled up the blanket that had slipped off during their cuddling and pulled it over her shoulders to stave of the lingering cold as she suddenly found herself without her warm pillow. "I need to take a walk." She smiled down at the man slowly getting to his feet, his movement sluggish, kind eyes still full of deep thoughts. "You do too."

"As you desire." The man managed a weak smile and a shrug as he grabbed his own blanket, pulling it over his white shirt with a small grunt. "Where to?"

"A walk doesn't need a destination..." Lynn waved Sten away as the qunari moved to intercept the pair walking towards the outskirts of the camp. "Never been in this forest before..." She took Alistair's hand in hers, pulling him along even as she felt a small tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach. "...it kind of has...a freshness about it doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does." Alistair answered, his tone suggesting he was just dutifully making conversation. "At least the grass isn't that thick."

He was right. Still a little far up the air was a little cold, the ground more dry dirt then the few tufts of tough grass eking out an existence... But the trees were alive and thriving, pale green leaves reaching up towards a disappearing sun, the bark of their trunks nearly white in colour. Lynn couldn't see any wildlife save a few birds...it was a quiet forest.

"I like it." Lynn nodded, taking deep breaths, enjoying the crisp air as she stalled, not knowing what else to do. "It's...calm." She pulled Alistair along, deeper in among the sparse trees, her breathing irregular all of a sudden. _What is_..._clam down_! Her body didn't listen though, it remained strangely stressed, afraid even. _This_ _is_ _ridiculous_.

"Lynn...are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, sure." Lynn managed a short laugh. _Why shouldn't I be_?_ Just get it over with_... Sighing she turned to face the man, her hand limply falling out of his. The man was looking at her with a strange look on his face, a mix of confusion and concern. "Alistair I..." _Okay, deep breath, this is nothing new, just get it over with and you can go back to actually enjoying being with him_...

"Lynn...what?" Alistair frowned, taking a step forward and reaching out...only to frown even more as Lynn pulled back, her hand rubbing her elbow furiously. "Lynn?"

"Well...you know..." Lynn swallowed, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach as best she could. "...with you saving me from the dragon and...well...other things..." _For goodness sake just get it over with_!_ You don't even want this_! "...I just supposed you...deserved a reward." She took a deep breath, her heart thumping. "I...I guess I'm saying I...could...do it now..." She looked down at her feet as she took a deep breath, steeling herself.

A chuckle.

_What_!? Looking up in shock she found a small smile playing on the man's lips. "If you just offered what I think you offered...you didn't have to make it sound like some sort ordeal to suffer through." The smile widened a little. "It'll hurt my man-feelings..."

_He smiles_.. Unable to really get angry with the man that suddenly was smiling Lynn shook her head. "Sorry I...well I just..." _Just want to get it over with, just want to do you a favour, just want to_..._not think about this anymore_.

"Lynn..." The smile faded, the man cocking his head to the side, worried. "...what's wrong?"

"I..." Lynn looked away, hugging herself as she pulled her blanket closer around herself, suddenly feeling a strange urge to cover up.

"Tell me." Kindness, worry and caring, Alistair's voice was heavy with it.

_That vicious kindness_....Lynn found herself smiling softly even as she felt a vice of terror close around her heart. "It's...well I..." She looked up at him, pleading. "I just don't want to...tell you this, it's...well it's not the nicest of stories." 

"Lynn...please."

"I..." Lynn took a deep breath, fear digging into her even as she realised she had already made up her mind. _I have to tell him_. She lowered her head and forced herself to finish the sentence. "...was...a whore." She took a shuddering breath, terror gripping her tight as she felt rather then saw Alistair shift his weight in front of her. "I...made money selling...myself."

_No, no I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't_.

_I shouldn't._

_He's going to_...

"I'm sorry." Blinking she looked up, finding Alistair having taken half a step forward, his arm having begun to reach out...only to stop as she looked up at him. He looked unsure...if he wasn't sure he should touch her. _I knew it_... "It must have been hard..." The eyes were full of compassion, he looked hurt, but not for himself, but for _her_ sake. _Knew that too_..._but now he won't touch me_... The hand clamped down on her shoulder, proving her wrong. _Damn_..._he __always__ does that_. Lynn averted her gaze. "...I understand then if you don't want anything like that...it's too much of a reminder."

_It is_.

"No it isn't!" Lynn hissed, irritated with the man and her mind both. Shaking her head she shot Alistair a glare: "I'm not proud over what I did, but _neither_ am I ashamed! I did what I _had_ to do to keep my family _warm_ and _fed_! There's _no_ shame in that!" _Who are you trying to convince_?

_Shut up mind_...Lynn felt her shoulders slump as she averted her gaze once more. "I just...it's..."

"Lynn." Alistair took a step back, giving her space to breathe. _Thank the Maker for that_..."Tell me...what's _really_ bothering you."

"I just..." Lynn held her blanket tightly around her, looking left and right but seeing no way out. Finally she forced herself too meet the sympathetic eyes looking back at her._ I don't deserve him_... "You _think_ this is something great...something _special_..." She winced at her own words, not wanting to destroy the naivety of the man before her. _Yet what choice do I have_?_ Maker, forgive me_... "That it's something _wonderful_...and it's _good_...it _is_, you feel more relaxed after it...but it's _not_ this magical thing you seem to imagine...that's just a tale..."

"Lynn I-" 

Raising her hand Lynn stopped the man's protest. "No, let me finish." _This isn't right_... She felt a strange feeling of grief dig into her as she continued: "I just...you'll be _disappointed_ okay?" She nearly fell to her knees as she said it, feeling as if she'd somehow hurt the man before her more deeply than anything ever could have.

There was no reaction in Alistair's face though, nothing but...she couldn't quite make sense of it. _Amusement_? _No, no that can't be it_...

"Because that feeling you think of...it _doesn't_ exist." She looked away, sighed. "And even _if_ it did...I can't feel it...not anymore...there's _nothing_..." She shrugged as she stared down at her feet, wincing at the pain in her chest. "Look, either you'll be _disappointed_...or...or I will realise I've _lost_ something. I...I don't think I can handle either." She closed her eyes, feeling ashamed. _He deserves someone better_..._someone that could_-

"Lynn..." Looking up she found Alistair advancing. The amusement was now _definitively_ there as he smiled, his left hand coming up to cup her chin, forcing her to look up at him as the right wound its way into her hair. "...that's the _stupidest_ thing you've ever said."

"Alistair you're not-"

Lips.

Blinking Lynn realised the man had somehow caught her unprepared. His left hand came around until it too dug into her hair as he kissed her more insistently, forcing her to respond on instinct and pushing her backwards.

_But I really can't_...

His right hand went lower, came around her shoulders, pulling her closer...and Lynn suddenly realised the kiss was leaving her breathless. She put her hands against his shoulders, there was no strength in her arms though...and they were _unwilling_ to push him away anyway.

_I don't think I can_...

She stumbled backwards, Alistair following, so close he might as well have been a part of her, his lips never leaving hers. The thud of her back hitting the tree was muted, nothing compared to the groan escaping her as the man shoved her into the trunk, pinning her against it and forcing her legs apart as he pressed up against her.

_I_..._can't_...

Her hands pushed off the blanket from his shoulders, tugged at the man's shirt, the hands not obeying her will any longer. A callused hand came down and round...found her right leg...and suddenly Lynn felt her tunic slide upwards as a palm begun to caress bare skin...drawing a surprised gasp from her.

_I_..._I_...

The man leant back, breathing heavily as he stared at her, a small smile on his lips, as if _daring_ her to stop things now. Surprised Lynn realised she wasn't even touching the ground, her legs busy being wrapped around his waist as he pressed up against her. A low groan escaped her, despite her best efforts to remain quiet, turning the man's smile into a lusty grin.

_I_...

Lynn's hands, refusing her orders..._refusing_ to stop, to _obey_...shook as they pulled apart the shirt before her, baring a muscled chest covered in white scars. _Maker_...Alistair's hands grabbed the neckline of Lynn's tunic, he tugged at it, pulled...then ripped it apart, making Lynn's breath hitch in her throat at the sudden cold digging into her skin.

_I_...

Then Alistair smashed into her, crushing her against the tree once more as the man hugged her tightly, his lips finding her collarbone, his breath _warm_, his _body_ warm. _Holy_... Lynn felt a shudder run through her even as her eyes rolled back. _W-what is_... Lynn's hands, still animated with a life of their own, pressed their way in between their bodies, slid between taut skin and muscles...and found his belt.

A pull, a tug and a rip...and she had Alistair in her hands, drawing a low growl from him.

Overwhelmed Lynn gasped as one hand wrapped itself around her rear, the other coming up to roughly knead a breast. Her own remained busy holding _him_, guiding him _closer_..._nearer_...so near she could practically _feel_...

A gasp and Lynn felt a tingling sensation buzz around her stomach that spread up along her spine and through her limbs...before exploding within her like a miniature fireball. A small whimper escaped her, what little thinking she was capable of jumbled and confused as she squeezed her eyes shut. _B-but_ _he's not even_...

A thrust.

A groan.

A cry.

And the world exploded.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for just being her._


	54. Chapter 54

Tap, tap, tap.

Surprised by how diminutive her own footsteps sounded Lynn walked down the hall, her shoulders tense under the armour she hadn't quite felt comfortable going without as she headed for the dinning hall of Redcliffe castle. Ignoring the stares and whispers of the guards and servants who had now filled the castle, she walked onwards to...she actually wasn't sure what she was walking into.

Tap, tap, tap.

"That's the warden..."

_Huh_..._guess they're not afraid anymore, people's memories are so short_... Ignoring the whispers Lynn felt her shoulders slump, a wearisome collar of fear around her neck, dragging her down.

"She found the ashes for the arl..."

Tap, tap, tap.

_I don't want to meet him_. They had reached Redcliffe and immediately rushed to the castle...where Eamon was still alive but unresponsive...

"Heard she's killed thousands of darkspawn..."

Whatever strange magic inhabited the ashes...it had _worked_...and the man had awoken, confused by the concerned faces crowding around him. The joy he had expressed on seeing Alistair hovering over him...followed by the confusion as to where his son was...Lynn had quickly begged her leave and hurried away, not wanting to see the expression on the man's face as his son's fate was revealed.

"Cleansed the Circle tower of abominations all by herself she did..."

Tap, tap, tap.

_I should have found another way_... Sighing Lynn knew there had been no other way, but if Eamon didn't see it that way...she _really_ didn't want to meet him, to see the accusations in his eyes. There's no helping it though. Resigned to her fate she glanced up, seeing Teagan standing waiting a few feet away, guarding the door by the looks of it.

"Heard she crowned the new king of Orzammar..."

_Shut up, you know nothing_. Squaring her shoulders Lynn ignored the servants whispers as she moved up to the bann, grateful that his presence seemed to hold the curious servants and guards at bay. With his arms crossed in front of him and leaning against the wall the bann looked casual at a first glance, but his face was serious, slightly frowned in some new worry.

Coming to a stop in front of the door leading to the dinning hall Lynn took a deep breath and regarded the closed door, not knowing what awaited her there...but knowing that it surely wasn't anything good. "He's in there?"

"Yes." The bann nodded, once.

"He...knows?" Lynn took another breath, already knowing the answer. She had been away from the awakened arl for half a day now...and only now with the setting sun she'd heeded the summon of the arl to meet him in the dinning hall. _Maybe he's calmed down_..._no, no it's too soon_..._he won't have._

_This will be awful_.

"I've told him everything I know." Teagan answered, then managed a careful smile. "Never fear."

Lynn couldn't help but chuckle as she softly replied: "The last time someone told me that I almost fell to an untimely death a mere hour later..." She shot the bann a confused glance, surprised by the way he shirked away at the words. "Right..." Ignoring him she closed her hand around the handle to the door. "...here goes nothing." 

The dinning hall was as large as she remembered, two sets of long tables lined with chairs along its length, leaving a blue carpet to cover the centre of the floor up to the large hearth where a small fire flickered and guttered, struggling to continue burning. The small torches stuck to the walls added their light to that of the fire, creating soft shadows across the room.

At the end of the right table Eamon and Alistair sat, Eamon occupying the head of the table as Alistair sat on its left side. Both had their heads slightly lowered as they spoke, voices hushed and calm, familiar. It soothed her to see it, to see Alistair being so...quietly happy. Despite her own dread Lynn found a small smile tug at her lips.

Then Alistair turned his head, sensing her presence. At the sight of her approach he half-rose and pulled out a chair while offering her a comforting smile. He wore black pants with golden trimmings now, a gift of Teagan's... But he still wore a simple white shirt, not the same one he'd worn before of course, that one had gotten...torn. Lynn felt her ears heat at the memory. _It's strange, back before I wouldn't even bat an eyelash, now_...she offered him a shy smile as she felt herself relax a little under the soft eyes meeting hers. _Yes_..._Strange_...

"Warden." Eamon rose to his feet. In contrast to Alistair the old man wore an elaborate tunic of blue silk that by now had started to puff out around the stomach, his beige trousers ending in a pair of simple leather shoes. The long grey beard covering the man's face was curly and still a little in disarray from his long sleep...the grey eyes were awake though, guarded as they regarded her.

Lynn's smile faded, a small stab of guilt making her wince. Right, play things smart now. "Arl." She bowed her head a bit lower then needed.

When she looked up she found Eamon and Alistair exchanging a look, Alistair almost looking amused. "Told you."

"I guess you did." Eamon stepped away from his chair and unto the central carpet, cocking his head to the side as he offered Lynn a sad smile. "Lynn Tabris, you have my gratitude." _Huh_? Lynn blinked. "I have heard it all...and I know you did all you should have done...it's commendable." A sigh and the man turned around, his hands clasped behind his back as he marched up to the hearth, head lowered to stare into the fire. "I...I..." A visible shudder ran through the man, his voice cracking just a little.

Lynn's gaze flickered to the right-side corner, was it just her or was it a little darker then the others? As if it was still stained by some lingering evil. _The_ _demon's_..._or mine_? Lynn shuddered and forced herself to focus on the tense shoulders of the man. "I...cannot ask for forgiveness."

"You have it none the less." Lynn winced at the words and shot a glance at Alistair, finding the man smiling faintly at her, knowing she hated forgiveness like that, despite everything that had happened since. _You'll pay for that_...Lynn caught her little smile before it could grow and shot the man a glare. _I guess this is where you got your kindness from_..._should have known_. "He always _did_ say he wanted to be an explorer...I guess he's now exploring something I should by all rights explore before him..." Eamon sighed and shook his head as he leant forward until his forehead came to rest upon the roof of the hearth. "...Loghain will pay for this."

"I'm not sure I'm the one to say this, but we need you...clear of mind." Lynn winced, hating herself for being so cruel. _He's just lost his son, don't_-

"Quite right." Eamon nodded, leaning away from the hearth. "Grief will have to wait..." The old man squared his shoulders. "...duty comes first." Lynn straightened a little at the words.

"My lord I..." Lynn was silenced by Eamon's gesture as the man turned.

"No, I am no lord, not to one such as yourself." Eamon shook his head. "Alistair here has told me quite a lot of your explorations...impressive." He gestured for the man who now rose to his feet, forgetting the offered chair. _Good, didn't want to sit anyway_. "I wouldn't believe it if he hadn't told me...you really have these allies? Golems and elves, dwarves and mages? That _is_ remarkable."

"And worthless." Lynn blinked, realising how bold she'd been as the arl raised an eyebrow. "They're useful...but it's no army without the men of Ferelden, they're too few."

"Ah, businesslike." Eamon managed a soft smile and shot Alistair a look. "...you know her well." The former templar blushed at the words, nearly drawing a giggle out of Lynn, despite the seriousness of the situation.

The amusement faded quickly though, Eamon's worried frown allowing none of it in the room.

"I still have trouble imagining Loghain..._Loghain_ of all people to do all this." The man shook his head. "I know he and Cailan had their differences...but Loghain had come to love the lad, his faults and all." Another shake of Eamon's head. "Loghain mad with power...I just _can't_ imagine it. Yet now all is in danger of being destroyed by him...not in a million years could I have predicted this." 

Lynn exchanged a look with Alistair, the man shrugging. "Yet here we are...Eamon...we need...something." Lynn shrugged, awfully aware of her lack of knowledge of Fereldian politics, despite what little she'd dragged out of a reluctant Alistair. "I was hoping you knew a way, we _need_ Ferelden if this is going to work."

"And Ferelden you shall have." Eamon managed a weak smile. "_If_ we can dethrone Loghain that is."

"That sounds enjoyable." Alistair growled, a small fire in his eyes as he stepped up next to the two, making Lynn want to reach out but...eyeing Eamon she held her arm in place. "When do we start?"

"Calm down Alistair." Eamon placed hand on the younger man's shoulder with a proud smile, making Lynn smile. _A father's smile_... "I will call a landsmeet." He glanced at Lynn. "A meeting of all the nobles. Loghain will not be able to refuse such a meeting or he will lose all credibility as regent. Once we have the nobles gathered in Denerim and forced him to take up a fight with words and not swords...then we may dethrone him bloodlessly and smoothly, which will keep our armies alive to battle the coming blight."

"A sound plan." Lynn crossed her arms in front of her and nodded, mind working. "If that's true we will have chance to preserve our strength at the loss of but a few lives at most... but how will we dethrone him? With Anora being his daughter he has quite a...claim." She felt herself tense, gaze darting to Alistair who was still watching Eamon with adoring eyes, too happy that the man was alive to realise what danger he was in.

Eamon nodded, slowly, watching her reaction with an odd look in his eyes. "True enough, but he has no claim through blood, and that Anora herself doesn't rule actually weakens his position. Still, he's the hero of the river Dane, the saviour of Ferelden...his position is strong." Eamon frowned, head bowed. "As for me...I'm but Cailan's uncle, no blood there, and while popular...I will be seen as an opportunist and usurper. I'm not a great hero as Loghain either...not to mention that I simply don't have the charisma of a young man, my position is infinitely small against him."

_No_..._no_... "W-well...we could always use Anora." Lynn suggested, licking her lips.

"Anora has no royal blood." Eamon shook his head. "And even if you get her help to dethrone her own father...it's not assured she will help you further than that, she's nothing if not calculating in this respect."

"You...can't ask that." Lynn shook her head, feeling her shoulders slump. "He doesn't want to."

"I...what?" Alistair blinked and looked away from Eamon, his embarrassment of being caught not listening instantly fading as he saw Lynn's expression. "Wha..." His gaze travelled over to Eamon, the old man looking back, gaze level. "...no...you...you _can't_ be serious." Alistair took a step back, shaking his head as he went pale.

Lynn too took a few steps backwards, sitting down heavily on the nearest table as she watched Eamon gesture for the former templar. "You _do_ have the blood Alistair, you cannot deny it, _and_ you becoming king would instantly wipe away the stain on the warden's honour that Loghain has orchestrated, surely you realise this. Your blood alone is-"

"It's diluted and from an indiscreet man and a servant unable to say no!" Alistair growled, shaking his head as he placed a hand on the table behind him, sending Lynn a pleading look that went unanswered save for a weak shake of her head. _What __could__ I say_?_ I_..._I don't want things to change_. "Blood is nothing Eamon, we both know this..."

"Blood is _everything_, Alistair." Eamon corrected with a sigh, making Lynn realise it was a discussion they had had many times. "Your blood has defined your entire life, your blood demands certain things from you...and even _if_ it was nothing...do you think the nobles will see it that way? The mere mention of a Theirin still alive...many will be ready to kneel at a word."

_It's true_. Lynn lowered her head, staring at her feet as she remembered the time Alistair had told her of his father...of how close _she_ of all people had been to go down on one knee before him. "So what? It's nothing, Loghain is a hero, a freedom fighter, what am I?"

"You are a _warden_, heroism is in your blood now, as if the Theirin blood wasn't enough." A small chuckle. "Do you not know that there are tales of the pair of wardens travelling across Ferelden? Even here in the castle Teagan as heard a few tales, two wardens who've again and again cheated death. Two single wardens who've fought when all others have fled or despaired...don't you realise the _effect_ it will have if it's revealed that one of them is the prince of Ferelden?"

"That's the stupidest...I'm no hero." _Yes you are_... Lynn winced..._you_ _are_... "Besides, it doesn't matter, being a king isn't about heroism. Even if I get the throne, what in Andraste's name would I do with it? I'll ruin the country as surely as the blight would." _You're grasping at straws_...Lynn took a deep breath, trying to calm herself but failing. _I didn't want things to change_..._I_ _didn't_...

"You would not." Eamon replied, sure of himself. "Do you not remember all those classes we had? All those sessions where I taught you strategy and tactics, mathematics and finances? I _did_ love teaching you those things, don't believe otherwise, but there were other reasons for it, set in reality, knowing how small your family was." _Smart_, _but_...

"Eamon I...I can't believe it." Alistair winced, hurt. "You...you did that just so...you can't ask this of me." _He's in pain_... Looking up she found Alistair mirroring her, he too was seated on the edge of the table, opposite hers, head bowed low, hands gripping the edge of the table until the knuckles turned white. _No_..._just_..._leave him be_. She couldn't speak though, didn't _dare_, it was not her place to make the decision, it _wasn't_...and that _terrified_ her.

Eamon stepped up to the man and placed his hands on Alistair's shoulders, head bowed low. "I _did_ love teaching you, I would have done it whoever your father had been...but it also means you have all it takes to become king, you _know_ this...I didn't want this, but Ferelden calls...you know this."

"I...don't want to..." Alistair shook his head, refusing to meet Eamon's eyes. Then the warden suddenly looked up, right at _her, _Lynn felt her heart catch in her throat. _Oh no, no please don't_..._please_... The pleading eyes held no mercy for her though, only need, he _needed_ her...and she didn't know what to say. "What do you think?"

"I..." _Just tell him you can do without it. Or at least_.... Lynn sighed, her head bowed to look back down at her feet. _What other choice is there_?_ We could try Anora, or simply discredit Loghain so much they would dispose him without asking for a replacement. Yet_.... "I..." _We could get a council of nobles, Eamon could well rule, we could_..._I_... The plans were so far-fetched she should snort at them, but she _wanted_ them to be good...which she _knew_....with a sigh she pushed them aside. _I'll hurt him_..._he'll_..._no_..._don't think about it, just give an assessment_.

"Lynn?"

Unable to look up she took a deep breath, then said what was needed to be said: "It's the best course of action." She _felt_ his silence, pained. _Ignore_ _it_. "It will give the nobles many arguments for our side, blood, reputation and ability..." No answer, no protest._ Ignore it_. "...our chances of replacing Loghain will be at their best with you at the head...and you'll be guaranteed to put the blight as our first priority too." She could feel his eyes boring into her, asking her 'why?'. _Ignore_ _it_. "It...makes the most sense."

_And if we succeed_...

Feeling a sudden stab of panic she looked up at Alistair, forcing a faint smile. "But it's your call, only yours, we'll find a way, we _always_ do." _Just say 'no', that's all, just say it_...

Alistair looked...defeated. _No_. His face had twisted into a mask of panic, eyes darting left and right as he held unto the edge of the table he sat on, as if it was the only thing keeping him upright. _No_... "I..." The man lowered his head, frowning, eyes pained. "...don't want to." _No, no don't_... "But...then..." He forced a smile and looked up at her, eyes still pained. "...someone taught me that's what duty is about."

_No_...

Bowing her head, unable to meet the pained smile, that compliment shaped like a dagger at her heart...Lynn felt herself shudder with sudden fear even as Eamon clapped his hands together. "Excellent, that's my boy." She heard the old man clasp Alistair's shoulder and shake it encouragingly, _knew_ Alistair was forcing a smile back at the man he considered a father. "You'll make us proud, I know you will..."

_He already has_... Lynn felt it, as surely as the fear. Her dread mixed with pride of seeing the man before her take up a mantle he did not desire. _He'll be great_..._the greatest of human kings_...there it was again, the _dread_, nearly making her gasp.

She could _feel_ his eyes upon her, his _concern_, even through the haze of her worries blocking out Eamon's voice... Even with the great shift in Alistair's life...the man was concerned about _her_. It _hurt_...

She couldn't meet his eyes though, couldn't show him that she _wasn't_ worried, that she _wasn't_ concerned about his choice, _wasn't_ hurt by what she and her actions had gotten him to do, what her example had doomed him to. She just..._couldn't_.

_I don't want things to change_...

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for enduring this one._


	55. Chapter 55

"Stop fidgeting."

"I'm _not_ fidgeting...I'm..." Alistair twisted where he stood, annoyed to no end by the blue doublet he wore. It was too tight around the shoulders, the collar chafed and for some reason Alistair had the impression that it hugged his chest too much...something the glances some of the servants shot him didn't help with. "I...swear...this thing's made for someone smaller." The equally blue trousers of silk didn't help either, though not tight they breathed _too_ much...it felt as if he wasn't _wearing_ them..._not_ something he liked to think about. He suddenly envied Eamon's wider burgundy tunic and trousers, _they_ didn't look uncomfortable in new and worrisome ways...

The journey to Denerim had been painfully event-less. It had been strange travelling with such a large party, the many soldiers of Eamon's had also slowed the pace down...which had frustrated Sten to no end judging by the qunari's snorts every time a halt was called. Alistair for one had been a bit annoyed by the sudden safety they were enjoying all of a sudden, it hadn't been a safety due to their _efforts_, just by their many _guards_...after such a long time of having to _fight_ every step on the way it actually felt a bit as if they were _cheating_ their way to Denerim.

That annoyance had been nothing compared to the worry assailing him though, the clawing feeling at the pit of his gut as he realised what he had gotten himself into. Alistair the king...it had terrified him to not end. The fact that Lynn had only seen fit to be there for comfort at night and in the privacy of Alistair's tent...the woman always sneaking in as a thief in the night...while remaining somewhat away during the days...had only served to elevate his worries. _She's afraid_..._and I can't do anything about it_.

_I'm afraid too_. _But we can't just_..._no_..._don't think about it, as she said, we'll find a way, we __will_.

"It's _not_ made for someone smaller." Eamon corrected with a sigh and stepped up in front of Alistair, wrinkled hands still filled with the strength of a warrior coming to Alistair's collar. Keeping his eyes on his work the old man smiled though as he corrected the far too fancy piece of clothing. "...just someone with _normal_ proportion...what have you been doing with yourself since you left? Just eaten and exercised all day?"

The main hall of Eamon's estate at Denerim was too large in Alistair's mind, too gaudy, a far cry from the more practical spaces in Redcliffe castle. It also allowed for many to walk around in there...and Alistair found himself a bit unnerved by being in the centre of it all as silent guards and scurrying servants watched them. _Maker_..._I will have to get used to that if we succeed won't I_?

"What can I say?" Alistair shrugged and managed an awkward smile as he ignored the way the doublet dug into his shoulders at the simple movement. "Killing darkspawn does the body good."

A soft chuckle escaped Eamon as he looked up at Alistair and petted his cheek, the man's smile widening a little. "_That's_ the spirit, I'm sure I'll love to hear you regale me with the tales of your heroics up to this point at dinner...those you haven't told me _already_." A smirk and another pat on the cheek. "Though please, no details, it's not fitting for a king to speak certain things at a dinner table."

Rolling his eyes Alistair groaned. "Yes, yes, I know...I'll keep the details down." Then he found himself watching Eamon a bit more carefully._ Does he know_?_ It seems so obvious to others_..._and_ _Eamon_ _knows_ _me_. So far the old man had made no comment about Lynn though, save those about her as a warden. _Maybe it's not as obvious as some say_?

Alistair had _wanted_ to tell Eamon of him and Lynn...but something had kept him from telling the man. Perhaps it was the fact that Lynn had skirted the subject when talking about Eamon while in Alistair's tent...perhaps it was the worry that the old man wouldn't approve...whatever it was Alistair had kept quiet. It felt wrong to not tell the old man everything...but what could he do? _It just_..._I don't want to think about it_.

Nothing in Eamon's expression revealed any disapproval or even knowledge though. There was only pride and confidence, pride and confidence in _Alistair_...it was a surprisingly heavy burden. "Good, then we can have a proper meal, this is my estate after all...can't have the luxuries go to waste, it'll be good practice for you, let you freshen up your skills."

"I hated those classes..." Alistair moaned even as a smile tugged at his lips, remembering that _dreadful_ hour each evening that seemed to dredge on forever under the close scrutiny of a man Alistair _couldn't_ deny.

Eamon chuckled. "Yes but they're important for a nobleman since-"

"-a certain behaviour is expected of him, I know." Alistair moaned once more, unable to contain his grin. "Can't we just go and eat? I'm starving." He saw Eamon's movement, the way the man was about to correct him, and quickly raised a hand. "Sorry, a noble is _never_ hungry, he's above such petty needs. Though I'd still like to..._savour_ the no doubt..._exquisite_ dishes your staff have prepared."

Laughing Eamon finally let go of Alistair's collar, having fixed some miniscule detail that in no way eased the chaffing. "Very good boy, though it _could_ do _without_ the sarcasm."

"Yes well-" A presence, a small shuffling sound. Turning Alistair saw...

_Wow_.

He'd thought he'd seen Lynn in a dress already, that armour suited her better...he wasn't sure that was true any longer. _Red __does__ suits her_...the thought flickered through his mind, barely registering as such to him as he stared. The dress was dark red...two thick straps going over otherwise bare shoulders, the rest of it going down so far it even covered her feet...and except for halfway up her thighs and lower it was very nearly moulded to her supple body. _Holy_...

Blinking Alistair forced himself to raise his gaze, finding her barely revealed collar bones and thin neck...and then registering that her hair was up. Two silver pins were stuck in the coiling mass of black hair, still making it look a bit tousled somehow...and revealing two pointed and slightly pink ears to the world. _Maker_...

_Wow_...

"You look good." The woman nodded at him carefully, as she always did when in the company of Eamon, looking a bit unsure. Then she cocked her head to the side, a slender eyebrow raised. "What?" Her eyes darted down at herself. "Oh...well...yes...Leliana caught a hold of me..." Lynn chuckled and shook her head. "You have no _idea_ what a pain that was..."

_Yeah_..

"You look stunning warden, you really do." Eamon complimented her, a heavy hand dropping on Alistair's shoulder, making him jump in fright. _Was I staring? I think I was_..._yes I was staring_..._I shouldn't_...He looked at Lynn again, forgetting his worry. _Wow_...

"Good, because I feel like an idiot." Lynn replied with a scoff, a hand coming up to brush against her pulled back hair with a frown of irritation...that she quickly shot Alistair's way. _Maybe I should_..._wow_...the frown eased away, just like that. "Not that...it's not _nice_..." Then she shook her head, looking a bit irritated with herself before shooting Eamon a glance. "Anyway, could we get this dinner under way? We have plans to make...right Alistair?"

"Uh..." Alistair slammed his mouth shut, realising it had been hanging open. _Maker_... "..._right_, lets do that, sounds good."

"Yes..." Eamon nodded, voice low. _He doesn't suspect_..._does he_? "...it will-"

A stomp of feet from the guards and the words Alistair couldn't have imagined rang out: "Loghain Mac Tir! Regent of Ferelden!"

_No way_...

Looking at the front door Alistair indeed found Loghain brazenly walking in through the front doors, hawkish features already scowling in contempts at the many guards lining the walls of the main hall. _You son of a_...Alistair found his advance stopped by a pair of thin hands against his chest, holding him back. Looking down he found Lynn next to him, eyes pleading. _But_... A small shake of her head. _He's __right__ there_... Another shake. _I_..._dammit, you're right_.

It _hurt_ to take a step back, to back away from the challenge, to let the foul man simply march into the estate...but Alistair did it, hands closed into fists as he forced himself to stay rooted to the spot. Instead he merely glowered at the foul man, wanting nothing but to rip the treacherous monster apart, to avenge _Duncan_.

No, think, you don't even have a weapon, and even if you succeed...there'll be chaos. Alistair bit his tongue, shaking with an anger that he wanted nothing but to let out._ No_..._later_..._I promise you_.

Loghain was still dressed in the glittering armour he'd worn back at Ostagar, the armour of the river Dane...a mark of pride and heroism...now _befouled_. The man was a little paler then before, a little more haggard. _Guilt_? The grey eyes held none of it...only harshness, decisiveness...not the _slightest_ bit of guilt. _I hate you_. With a slamming of steel against stone the man came to a quick stop in front of them, his mouth drawing into a sneer of disgust at the sight of the three before him. _I hate you so much_...

To the man's left an elderly grey-haired man in leather armour walked, reminding Alistair of a vulture for some reason. To the man's right a woman stood, she too in heavy armour, eyes sad but hard, hands visibly twitching, ready to defend her liege against any of the many guards now surrounding the regent. Loghain didn't seem to care though, the man _confident_ none would _dare_ to harm him. Alistair glared at the sneering man, daring the old man to meet his gaze. _I_ _hate_ _you_. "Eamon, how _good_ it is to see you up and about again...and drawing every noble away from his castle as well. Far be it for them to defend their lands from the darkspawn instead." Loghain's voice was like a rusty dagger, digging into Alistair's nerves, making him take a step forward...and instantly be halted by Lynn's hand, the woman not even looking at him.

"Exactly why I've called the landsmeet Loghain." Eamon replied, voice calm. _How can you be calm when the man who nearly killed you stands before you_!? Alistair saw Lynn's glance, the worried shuffle of her feet...and took a calming breath. _Okay_..._calm_..._I'm_ _calm_..."We need to stand united before this blight."

"Blight, hah!" Loghain scoffed. _I'm_ _calm_..._very_ _calm_... "I see age has not been kind to you, there is reality to attend to, like the Orlesians Cailan nearly invited to take over our country, like the fact that half the country is in rebellion because of those warden friends of yours." The sneering regent nodded towards the two wardens behind and at Eamon's right side.

"And who is this?" Lynn interjected, her voice that frightfully neutral tone Alistair knew meant she had locked away her emotions somewhere. The woman gestured for the man on Loghain's left. "Another body guard?"

"Do not speak so casually of your betters." The man in leather armour replied, his grey hair matted, his long nose sticking out towards the woman like a spear, eyes narrowed in irritation. "I'm Rendon Howe, Teyrn of Highever, arl of Denerim and arl of Amaranthine...and you'd best remember that."

"That's a lot of titles for one man." Eamon noted, frowning, like many Ferelden nobles he had never liked men acquiring too much power.

"The regent is generous to the ones serving him." Howe shrugged, a small smile on his lips as he turned to ignore the frowning Lynn.

"The arl of Denerim...." Lynn muttered, making Howe sigh in irritation. "...you've been killing my people." A small chuckle escaped the man, an arched eyebrow aimed the elf's way as Howe dared the woman to comment. _Oh no, she_...Alistair watched the woman's shoulders, the feigned relaxation in them..._won't do a __thing_._ She's __so__ strong_... Feeling his heart swell with admiration Alistair took a deep breath, forced himself to push his anger back, to save it for later. It was surprisingly easy... "I'll remember your name, your titles and your face...your _grace_." Somehow she managed to make the proper address sound like an insult, a casual and uncaring one at that.

"Good..." Howe nodded with a sneer, but his eyes were wary as he eyed the woman with a guarded look. "...you _do_ that...?"

"I am just curious what you hope to accomplish here Eamon." Loghain cut in, shooting both Lynn and Howe an irritated scowl before looking back at Eamon, Loghain's arms crossed in front of him as he glared down at the older man. "The nobles _will_ eventually be brought back into line by me and my supporters, this token gesture of yours will do nothing but harm what little reputation you have _left_. Your absence at Ostagar was _most_ unimpressive."

_You did not just_...Alistair gritted his teeth and took a shuddering breath as he felt Lynn inch closer, telling him to stay put. _I will, I will_..._but Maker_..._that man __will__ die for his crimes_.... "As was your showing there." Eamon replied, his experience of politics hiding his anger, shaming Alistair. _I'm surrounded by people better in control of their temper_..._and __I'm__ the one to be made king_!?_ This is madness_...

"I did what I _had_ to do! To _save_ my men from Cailan's madness!" Loghain snapped, conviction in his eyes. _I was there_..._he_..._he_ _might_ _be_ _right_. Alistair shook his head. _No_! _It_ _doesn't_ _matter_! _Even __if__ he is right the way he has done things has pulled us into civil-war and the threat of annihilation_! "And if you _think_ you can convince nobles that weren't even _there_ of the opposite I can only assume that _madness_ has finally taken you!" The regent shook his head, sneering in irritation as the words tumbled out of him: "This is no time to stand divided! This is a time to fight the darkspawn! To come together and forge a Ferelden so strong that no _power_ or _nation_ can _ever_ threaten it again!" He shot a finger at Eamon, the digit trembling with rage, the regent's eyes afire. "_That_ was Maric's dream! _That_ is what we should be fighting for! _Not_ the vanity of some now dead fool and the idea of some sacred bloodline!"

_How can I hate him and agree with him at the same time_? Eamon shook his head. "We _will_ stand united Loghain, but _not_ under _you_." A small smile suddenly played on the old man's lips as he took a step sideways, gesturing for Alistair. _Oh_ _no_...Alistair felt all colour drain from his face. "Behold, the last of the Theirins."

There was a small gasp from the woman at Loghain's side, Howe taking a step back with a strange hiss, a mix of fear and anger...and Loghain narrowing his eyes at Alistair. "Ah, _you _again..." The hiss was barely audible. "...you have eluded me _so_ many times...it's a miracle that you're alive."

"I..." Alistair forced an awkward smile, having already pushed down his rage he suddenly didn't know what to say. "...did my best." Loghain's scoff managed to draw a trickle of it out of him. _Steady now_..._remember that you can't let it all out_... "Want to meet one of your assassins?" Alistair grinned at the arched eyebrow. "I'm sure he'd _love_ to meet you again."

"Did you just threaten the regent?" The woman muttered the question, eyes still wide as she stared at him.

Loghain's raised hand stopped any retort though, the man's chest heaving as he took a calming breath. "Ah...I see." The hard eyes left Alistair and bored into Eamon instead. "_This_ is your plan then? To try and put this _child_ on the throne?"Ignoring Lynn's worried glance Alistair glared at the regent, his breathing steady._ Yes, insult me now_..._for I __will__ kill you_. "Considering _who_ he is I suppose you think _yourself_ to be the one to take the throne, I thought you better then that." Loghain shook his head, sighing, almost looking...sad. "But I guess you are like all the _rest, _noble only in name."

"_He_ is Theirin, _you_ are not." Eamon replied, stoical.

"Blood is _nothing_." Loghain snorted, shoulders tensing. "Maric _knew_ this...but I guess such lessons are _nothing_ to your kind."

"Tell that to the men at Ostagar." Alistair blinked, realising _he_ had been the one speaking, all eyes suddenly fixed on him. _How did I_...unable to stop himself he continued, forcing himself to glower at Loghain even as he spoke against the only thing he agreed on with the monster. "Tell _them_ that their blood was nothing, that they _bled _and_ died_ for _nothing_." He took a deep breath, calming himself as best he could as the anger within him started to churn. "Cailan fought for _Ferelden_! Was willing to _bleed _and_ die_ for her, _you_ let others die for _your_ cause! You let part of Ferelden _wither_ and _die_... You are _no_ regent, those who let _others_ bleed for them...are not even _Fereldian_."

Loghain blinked, then scowled, then snorted...then finally shook his head and looked away. "Foolish, naïve youth..." He glared at Eamon. "..._this_ is who you want on the throne!?"

"More then anything." Eamon nodded, smiling for some strange reason.

"Bah!" Loghain shook his head and whirled about. "I tried to reason with you! Save you some dignity! But I guess I'll just have to crush you and your bastard at the landsmeet!" With a crashing of boots against stone Loghain marched away, quickly followed by his followers.

"Well..." Eamon winced as the front doors crashed shut after Loghain's swift exit. "..I hadn't anticipated _that_...he's further gone than I thought...well done Alistair."

"Umm...right...don't know what I _did_...but you're welcome." Alistair shrugged, noting the odd look on Lynn's face. "What?"

"Just...." The woman looked away, shaking her head, ears going pink. "...you're _something_..."

"Okay..." Alistair shook his head, not understanding what the strange look in Eamon's and Lynn's eyes meant. Thankfully he found a distraction and pointed at the swiftly approaching elven woman coming at them, the eyes of the elf afire with purpose. "Umm...who's _that_?"

*

*

*

_Armour, check._

_Shield, check._

_Sword, check._

_Nervous about going to rescue Anora in what may well be a trap, check_. Alistair marched through the corridor, adjusting his gauntlet with a frown. _If this is a trap_..._I'm going to get so angry with Lynn. Necessary_..._bah_. O_kay, I get that it actually might be necessary to get Anora's help_..._but must we take the risk_?

Coming around a corner and going into the dining hall now serving as an improvised armoury Alistair checked his sword as he spoke: "Hey Lynn, do you think we could...uh..." He eyed the others in the room, a sudden stab in his chest sending worry shooting through him. Lynn was already in full armour, ready, as was Zevran, Leliana and Morrigan....and Alistair had the distinct feeling they had been about to march out..._without_ him. "What's going on?"

The group before him exchanged worried glances, then let Lynn speak as she took a step closer to him. Her gaze level. "You're not going."

"I..._what_!?" Alistair spluttered, shocked.

"Listen." Lynn moved forward, armoured finger landing on his lips, eyes serious. _No_..._please_ _don't_. "They know who you are." _They know who you are too_."You are important." _So are you_. "Without you we can't defeat Loghain." _Don't say that_..._I_... "I may be risked, not you." _No_! Alistair took a step forward, making Lynn put her other hand on his chest as the other pressed tighter at his lips, enforcing silence. "They don't pay much attention to an elf...it's less likely they'll spot me for who I am...you know this." _No_... He watched the woman smile a little at his reaction. "We need you here, stay. " _No_..._don't_ _speak_ _of_ _logic_. The smile turned sad. "It makes sense." _Damn_ _you_... "You know this."

"I...last time you..." Alistair's hands hung limply by his side. He _knew_ he could argue more, make his case...but he _also_ knew it would be for naught...Lynn was still the leader, she made the calls...and she was always right. "...stay...safe..." He felt his shoulders slump and looked away, feeling the beginning of tears in his eyes. _Damn my blood_..._without it I could_..._Maker I could do __so__ many things_...

A chuckle, vainly trying to sound reassuring. "You know me, I can take care of myself."

Looking up Alistair forced a smile. "Yes...well...don't seek out trouble just because of that..." He shook his head, swallowing down the sudden lump in his throat. "...I like you alive."

A hand on his cheek, Lynn leaning forward on her toes, a little kiss on numb lips...and she was smiling, eyes soft. "I will be..." Alistair felt the urge to reach down and kiss her again, to just scoop her up and take her somewhere safe...and realised she felt the same way. But it wasn't to be. "...now...I have to go." Looking away the woman gestured for the others. "Lets go guys, and _try_ to be discreet."

"Why is she _always_ looking at me when she says that?" Morrigan mumbled as the small group filed past Alistair...who grabbed Zevran as the assassin came in last of the line.

"H-hey." Zevran blinked, surprised that he was suddenly lifted from the hair. "What is this!?"

"Keep her safe." Alistair growled, suddenly allowing himself to _feel_...and not liking it one bit. "Keep her _alive_."

"This is...I have already sworn an oath." Zevran protested, the elf hanging limply in Alistair's grip, instead settling for glaring down at the former templar. "You are being-oph!" The breath was knocked out of the elf's lungs as Alistair smashed him into the wall.

"You failed once." Alistair glared at the assassin, daring him to contradict him. "Don't fail again or I'll-"

"You'll _what_?" Zevran snorted, teeth bared in a sneer, no doubt knowing his ability to fade away would leave him able to escape any danger. "Save your threats! You have her already!"

"_Listen_ to me!" Alistair pulled the elf back and then crashed him into the wall once more. "If you don't I'll do my utmost to become king, and I _will_ become king! Then I will spend every sovereign in the country to find you so I can _personally_ nail you to a _wall_! Is that _clear_!?" Alistair glared up at the assassin

The assassin went limp, the anger in his eyes fading. "I...see..." A small chuckle. "All of a sudden that seems...fair. Yes?" Alistair let the man down, feeling his anger slip away under the suddenly kind eyes looking back at him. "I _will_ keep her safe, my lord, you have my word." The elf's smile was without any sarcasm or mischievousness, serious, almost sombre. "Love is something that should be closely guarded, yes? I'm honoured that you would ask this of me."

"Just..." Alistair looked away, suddenly weary beyond words._ I wish I was you_... "...keep her safe, okay?"

"Yes..." A hand on his shoulder, light and unsure. "...friend."

And the elf was gone.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for enduring me._


	56. Chapter 56

_I thought I'd never smell __this__ again_...

The dungeon reeked of death and faeces, making the others at her back gag as Lynn grimaced, more at old memories of her times spent in the dungeons of fort Drakon then at the smell itself. _Pleasant memories_..._Howe __had__ to be in the dungeon didn't he_? Lynn shook her head, clearing it of the old memories. _Strange, they feel like a lifetime away_..._someone else's_.

"This is foul." Morrigan muttered, not for the first time either. "'Tis really necessary? How useful could this queen of yours be?"

"Royalty is _always_ useful my dear." Zevran chirped, for some reason the assassin had been awfully chipper...Lynn found it somewhat relaxing considering the others were constantly exchanging worried glances._ Really ought to have brought him along more often_..._though I bet Alistair wouldn't have liked that_...Lynn smiled at the thought. _Alistair, I'll be back soon_... "As for the smell...don't tell me you've _never_ been in a dark and smelly hole before? Oh I could tell you some stories..."

"Please don't...." Leliana made a gagging sound as they moved through Howe's dungeon, stepping over the latest guard they had killed in their search for the elusive little man and his pet mage. "I like stories more then most but yours-" A squishing sound. "_Ewww_...! I think I stepped on something..."

"How is it even possible _not_ to step on something here?" Morrigan replied with a scoff. "I'll be washing my feet for hours after this..."

"As will I." Leliana muttered in agreement, then exploded: "Oh! We can make an _evening_ of it!"

"That's a ridiculous notion, did you _really_ think I would agree to that?" Morrigan snorted.

"Oh but I know where to find the most exquisite soaps and balms...."

"That's..."

"...not to mention this adorable little scrapper thing that massages your feet as it removes old skin!"

"Well..."

"Oh and this perfect little bowl which you can light a little fire under to keep the water nice and warm without it boiling!"

"'Tis a wonder...I think I must have gone mad..." Morrigan sighed even as Lynn moved towards what had to be the last door in the entire dungeon. _Always the last one_..._it's like the Maker is playing a joke on me_. "...but I will accept that offer." _What_?

Looking back she found Leliana looking pleasantly surprised, hands clasped together and teeth bared in a grin of delight wile Morrigan was rolling her eyes and shaking her head, obviously already regretting her decision. A small laugh escaped Lynn at the sight. _Aww, Morrigan's getting soft_. "Great, I'm in too." _That ought to be funny_...

"Great..." Morrigan groaned, hand coming to cover her face and conceal the grateful smile aimed Lynn's way. "...you've gone mad too."

Zevran chuckled, grinning at the three women. "Ohhhh! May I-"

Three flinches, three women in unison snapping: "No."

For a moment no one moved, then a chuckle escaped all four.

Shaking her head Lynn focused on the task at hand and led them towards the door. "Right, enough goofing around girls, and _yes_ that includes you Zevran, we got a job to do."

They did as they always did, Zevran pressing his back against the right side of the doorway as Lynn closed her hand around the handle and stepped to its left side, Leliana and Morrigan with their weapons aimed at the door itself.

"One, two, three." Lynn wrenched the handle. "Go!"

With a crunch the door was slammed open by Zevran's kick, a bolt of lightning and an arrow instantly sailing through the opening as Lynn threw herself into the room, rolled under a bolt of arcane energy before coming up to her feet with enough time to make an assessment of the situation.

The room was somewhat large and rectangular in shape, two pillars of wood stained with blood and moisture holding the roof up. Other than that the room was largely empty a grill covered channel for washing away the filth accumulated during tortures running through the centre of the room. _Remembered when I used one of those to escape Fort Drakon_..._hope I don't have to do __that__ again_.

To her right a mage stood, the man already moving his hands around to cast a spell. _Won't reach him in time to stop him, dodge it is_. Rolling towards the centre of the room Lynn dodged the blast of fire escaping the mage's staff even as she saw Howe and another mage stand at the other end of the room, the old man tending to the wound made in the chest of the gasping mage by Leliana's accurate arrow. Between Lynn and those two however was a pair of guards...large guards. _Ah_, _brawlers_.

Not at all surprised by the heavy swings of the two guards, lacking any finesse but with enough force to shear through nearly anything...Lynn simply ducked and jumped aside, a flickering axe catching one of the men in the chest and making him stumble back into view of the open doorway...where he instantly fell as an arrow thudded into his eye.

The second guard tried a low swing, aiming for her legs so she couldn't duck.

Jumping over the swing Lynn landed on the guard's shoulder, making him grunt as he was forced onto the filthy floor. She then noted that Howe was moving towards the doorway...and leapt off the guard with a flip forward. Mid-flip she noted that the mage who's blast she had dodged had a dagger in his chest and was meekly trying to fend away Zevran's other dagger as the grinning assassin went in for the kill...and then she landed next to the charging Howe, making his turn to face her.

Both her weapons moved in an overhand swing towards the head of the man who raised his own to block...only to cough as Lynn smashed a foot into his abdomen, sending him stumbling into the wall behind him. "You little bitch!" Another cough, the man lunging at her. "I'll kill you for this!"

"I have fought dragons and demons." Lynn calmly replied, parrying the lunge and shooting Howe a sweet smile. "So that's no way to speak to your betters." She followed it with meaningful wink and a quick riposte, drawing a jagged rip in the leather armour of her foe.

The man's eyes widened at the reminder of their previous encounter, then narrowed in anger. "Watch that tongue, _elf_." The man sneered at her. _It's just a mask, you're afraid_. Lynn ducked back from the sweeping blows of her foe, smiling. _You should be_.

To her right the mage finally managed to recover from the arrow-wound to raise his staff in attack...only to jerk and drop the weapon, his feet lifting off the ground as a strangle gasp escaped him. _Good old Morrigan_...a crack and blood started gushing from the man's mouth. _Bet that took care of the ward on Anora's door_.

"As I said, you've been killing my people." Lynn parried a sweeping axe with her own and kicked out, hitting Howe in the right knee with a crunch and drawing a loud yell from him as he stumbled back.

Advancing Lynn ignored the sound of two arrows thudding into the remaining guard as he moved towards her back, ignored the sound of the guard slumping to his knees even as Zevran with a crunching sound drove his daggers into the guard's back. She _knew_ they would take care of him after all...instead she remained focused on the man now making another desperate lunge towards her.

The lunge was parried by her own weapons, pushed to her right side even as she drove her right knee into the chest of the panting man, drawing a pained grunt from him as something within him loudly snapped. "I remember your _name_."

She kicked out with her left foot, hitting Howe square in the chest and sending him stumbling back into the wall...only to bounce back towards her. "I remember your _titles_."

He didn't raise his weapons in time to parry her thrust, instead a small gasp escaped him as her sword suddenly slid in between his ribs, nailing him fast and making him drop his weapons from numb fingers. "I remember your _face_."

Smiling sweetly Lynn pulled back her axe over right shoulder for a backhand swing, watching the sudden panic in Howe's face as he realised he was doomed. "Your _grace_."

The mouth on the man's face opened to scream, but no sound had time to escape him as Lynn's axe swept around...and sliced it through his neck, neither flesh nor bone stopping it in its path.

A gurgling of air escaping a blood-filled throat, a thud of a body falling to the floor, a crunch of a head bouncing over the floor...and all became still.

_That's the second noble I've killed, third if you count Connor, fourth if you count Harrowmont_..._strange how the first got me into a position where it was right to kill the others_. "Right." Lynn shrugged, finding her thoughts far too reminiscing for her tastes. She sheathed her weapons and smiled at the others who were already doing the standard procedure of checking their armour and weapons for damages. "Shall we leave this place now? I'm getting bored." 

"Sounds like you need-"

Three flinches, three women snapping: "Shut up Zevran."

Four chuckles.

*

*

*

Anora looked every bit as a queen as she came through the open door.

Her eyes were large and grey, giving the impression of her being innocent...which the rest of her expression was anything _but_. The woman's face would have been pleasant if it wasn't for a slight haughtiness in its features, with her chin held high the woman nearly looked ready to be receiving dignitaries, despite the situation. Her dress was a deep royal blue...and nearly looked like a uniform on her. Her tautly drawn hairstyle did nothing to to help the impression. The woman _was_ the queen.

"Your highness." Lynn offered a short bow, not feeling any great urge to stand on formalities since she by now was _covered_ in the blood of Howe's guards. With the alarm having been raised after the guards in the dungeon that had stopped Lynn and her companions had been found the guards around the estate had been on full alert. And they had quickly charged the group when they had left the dungeon, making Lynn wonder what the point of them having snuck in had been in the first place.

"Warden, it is good to see you." Anora bowed her head in turn, managing to look a bit grateful, despite her queen-like expression. "I was not sure how much longer Howe would have kept me there before he simply had me killed, no doubt he would have blamed such a killing on you, incensing my father even more." 

_Right, your father is Loghain_. Lynn suddenly felt _very_ aware that she was standing on thin ice. "But now that we've freed you-"

"I don't believe my father will believe it to be that..." There was a small twitch in Anora's eyes, her voice cold. "...he's..." Another twitch, mouth frowning in sudden anger. "..._not_ himself." The queen shook her head. "Besides, I am not free yet, am I?"

"No." Lynn nodded, unsure since she couldn't quite read Anora's behaviour like she used to. _Good that you tend to the moment, but your father_..._you speak so coldly of him_..._yet_... "I suppose not. Shall we go? Discussing an alliance would be easier in some sort of safety."

"A good idea." Anora brushed past her and suddenly took the lead, inducing a frown on Lynn's face. _Okay, you're the queen, not I, got it_. Following Lynn gestured for the others to silently fall in line. _Wait, are we heading for the __front__ exit_?_ Isn't that a bit_... "I assume you have dealt with...oh." The queen came to a halt, the rest of the group swiftly fanning out as they'd learnt to do by now, giving Lynn a clear view of what blocked their exit.

_Ah shemshit_....

There were a _lot_ of soldiers in the wide entrance hall...Lynn counted at least a dozen men wide formation, three lines deep...and _far_ _more_ waiting through the open doors, ready to pour in. _Loghain sent the entire army or something_? Lynn swallowed, forced herself to ignore the first rank of soldiers aiming their loaded crossbows at the group, forced herself to find..._ah_.

The woman was familiar, the sad but hard eyes, the determined stance...Loghain's lapdog. "Grey warden..." The voice was unflinching, hard, that of an officer that had spoken for the state for most of her life. "...you are hereby arrested for the wilful murder of Arl Howe, the murder of his guards and all other staff that may be found at the scene of the crime. Will you comply?" The soldiers at the woman's back shifted at the question, ready to charge at a moment's notice.

_Shit, shit, shit_..._get out of this_..._think_. "Murder? He was killed during a citizen arrest." Lynn gestured for Anora as she straightened her back, forcing herself to be the confident warden with right at her side. _Am I? It's hard to tell with politics_..._no__one__ seems to be right_. "He held Anora, your queen, against her will, we have liberated her."

The guards shuffled once more, made uneasy by the words. The woman at the head shook her head though, not impressed. Is she in on this? _Did she already know about Anora_?_ Surely not if she's Loghain's ally, yet so was Howe_... Lynn forced herself to look back, to remain outwardly calm. _That's a lot of soldiers_... "Is this true my queen?" The woman looked over at Anora, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

_She won't believe the queen_..._Maker she won't believe her_...Lynn tensed, knowing a fight was brewing. _Maybe we should take cover behind Anora_?_ Surely they won't dare to hurt her_...

Then, to her utter shock, Anora suddenly _sniffled_.

"I...it was horrible..." _Huh_!? Eyes wide Lynn turned and found Anora lowering her face, concealing it with one hand as the other pinched her leg from behind, inducing the queen's tears. _What in Thedas_... "I-I have no words...p-please...s-so much blood..." _Surely she doesn't_... "P-please...I...I must leave this dr-dreadful place." The woman took a stumbling step forward, looking so helpless even Lynn would believe her fear. Except that Lynn had _seen_ the queen making herself cry... "Y-you th-there..."

"M-me?" One of the soldiers in the second rank spoke as he pointed at his own chest, his voice trembling a little.

"Y-yes..." The queen stumbled towards the man, a true damsel in distress all of a sudden. You can't be... "T-take me away from here...p-please...I-I need air."

Frowning in irritation the woman leading the soldiers watched as the front ranks of the soldiers split, allowing the queen past to the soldier she had singled out. Lynn could only shake her head, wonder at the way the other soldiers reverently stepped aside as the one Anora had singled out held the _trembling_ woman by the arm and led her outside..._away_ from the conflict...to _safety_.

_That was deviously clever_... Lynn wasn't sure if she was supposed to be happy that the queen had managed to trick herself into freedom without Loghain's dog able to do anything...or angry that Anora had abandoned them to the mercy of a very hostile and now _annoyed_ woman.

"Right. Now with that foolishness over with...." The woman turned to glare at Lynn. _Okay, I go with angry, definitively angry_. "...you are still under arrest, Loghain has no interest in your companions, but you...you're coming with us." The woman's eyes narrowed. "Now...will you _comply_?"

Lynn glared back. _Damn_ _Anora_. She glanced at the many soldiers, practically itching for a fight. _Damn_ _politics_. She glanced at her companions, equally ready to fight, to die against the virtual army standing before them. _Damn_ _my_ _duty_. She looked back at the woman and nodded. "Yes."

"_What_!?" The others looked at her, stunned.

"Go." Lynn waved at them to move even as she watched the woman before her smile with her victory. "Before she changes her mind." _At least I got to save the others_.

Morrigan snorted and shook her head. "Lynn I hardly think you realise what will happen once-"

"Go." Lynn repeated, shooting the witch a frown. _I know, it can't be helped, go_.

Morrigan looked at the many soldier arrayed before her, licked her lips, then looked back at Lynn. "Lynn please reconsider, I could-"

"No." Lynn shook her head, smiling, touched. _Can't believe __you__ are willing to risk certain death like this_..._for m_e. _But you would fail, you can't win this fight_. "Go."

"But-"

A small laugh escaped Lynn, cutting Morrigan off. "Go."

"I..." Morrigan hesitated, only to have Leliana's hand drop unto her shoulder and pull her away, the bard unable to meet Lynn's gaze. _There's no shame, go_...

"No."

_Huh_?

Looking over to her right she found Zevran crossing his arms in front of him, face set in stone, making Lynn sigh. "For goodness...Zevran not you too, just-"

"No." The assassin shook his head, glaring at the many soldiers before them, then looked at Lynn. "My warden...if they take you, you will _die_, I cannot allow that, my oath forbids it."

"Since when did you..." Lynn shook her head, irritated. _Just let me go_! _I hate this damn caring_! _As if Alistair isn't enough, now you guys have to go on about it too_! She eyed the many crossbows, now more then ever ready to shoot. "By the Maker! _Fine_! I _release_ you of your oath! Just step _down_!" _I'm surrounded by idiots_!

"No." Zevran shook his head once more, all amusement, all charm..._gone_. "It's not yours to remove."

Lynn blinked, shocked._ "_Zevran...what are you..." She reached out...

"The warden is attacking! Kill her!" The shout jarred her into reality. _No_!

There was a volley of crossbow bolts loosed at her, making her turn her head and stare at the attackers with wide eyes, suddenly aware of what would happen. _No_!

Zevran was fast, an assassin to the fingertips he was faster than the wind, except this time he didn't _dodge_ the missiles...he charged _into_ them. _No_...

A dozen wet thuds...and the man stumbled backwards, into her...and Lynn found herself stumbling backwards as well, suddenly weak, unable to push aside the corpse as she had so many others as it rammed her into the wall. _No_...

Sliding down to a sitting position she pulled the man closer, hearing a raspy breath escape the assassin as he looked up at her, an amused smirk forming on his lips. "Not the best of exits...no?" He coughed, blood flecking his lips. _No_...

"Zevran I...._why_!?" _It made no difference_!_ I will __still__ be thrown into a dungeon_!_ You died for nothing_! Lynn realised she was crying. "Why...?"

"An oath...is an oath..." The elf's eyes widened, not really seeing her as he begun to shake, the wounds from the many bolts stuck in his body pumping out an obscene amount of blood that clung to Lynn's hand as she held him close. "D-did I e-ever...t-tell....w-why I...c-came t-to....Fe-Ferelden?" Lynn shook her head, unable to grasp it._ It's too unreal_..._it's_ _not_ _happening_. "Ah...w-well..." His suddenly blue lips smiled. "...a s-story...f-for an-another la-lady..."

_Why_?_ You can't just_..._I don't...why_!? "Zevran...you idiot..." She shook her head, looked away, shuddered...an old memory of another dead elf flickering before her eyes.

"So-sorry...y-you...co-couldn't...b-be...h...h..."

Silence.

"Zevran?" Lynn looked back down...and saw a familiar sight...yet _not_. She had seen it so many times yet..._not_... "Zevran?" The unseeing eyes merely stared back at her, uncaring of her tears. "_Zevran_!?"

_I never treated you all that well, despite what you might have thought_..._and now_..._this_... Lynn lowered her head even as she heard the soldiers march upon her, close in around her. ..._this loyalty_...

Guilt.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for being happy with me._


	57. Chapter 57

"For his support lord Aranden wants the rights for taxation for the south bridge here." Eamon pointed out the small symbol on the map he'd secured to the table with a couple of stone weights.

_I don't care_. Alistair held back a groan as he forced himself to remain bent over the table, _bare_ hands resting on it, _tunic_-clad chest heaving as he forced himself to remain focused, to do his _duty_. _I should be wearing gauntlets, be clad in armour, this is wrong_. Of course he couldn't really do anything, by now Lynn could be walking in through the gate, having been captured or..._or_...he tightened his grip on the table._ I should have demanded to go with her_..._dammit_.

"Alistair?"

Shaking his head Alistair ignored Eamon's questioning look and instead glared down at map. "But that one along with the east bridge belongs to lord Hawen."

Eamon's study was normally tidy, Spartan in decorations and well-lit by oil-lamps. The first fact was no longer true however. Everywhere papers and maps lay, decrees, letters, law-books and old treaties...the floor, dresser, tables and even Eamon's bed was covered in the web that was Ferelden politics.

Every single one of the texts had been looked at at least once by now...many dozens of times. To secure the aid of the nobles wasn't easy. The battle at Ostagar helped, Loghain's new taxes to pay for his new army even more so...as did the increasingly deep raids of the growing darkspawn menace. Still, many nobles had vested interests in keeping things as they were, if nothing else but out of a need for some stability. Others simply didn't want to risk their lands in a coup that may well fail, reasonable...but short-sighted.

So Alistair and Eamon had settled for the oldest tricks in the book, promises, _bribes_...at least it felt like bribes to Alistair. _Politics_...

"We of course have to give something to Hawen in turn." Eamon admitted with a nod. "Which could prove problematic, there's too many interests involved in the little tract of land he owns."

"Tell me about it..." Alistair grumbled. _By the Maker just give me a sword and put me next to Lynn_!_ I need to know she's safe_..._I_ _need_...he sighed..._to do my duty_. "...and I actually meant that with the current taxing system a trader would have to pay Hawen to cross his bridge, then Aranden for _his_ bridge...and then once _more_ for each when he goes back...it'll cripple the trade for West Hill, arl Wulff won't like that."

"With his arling basically destroyed I don't think we need to worry about that." Eamon sighed.

"No..." Alistair shook his head. "It's not good for the trade. Give Aranden the rights to tax ships going along the river instead...that'll make him happy." 

"Taxing passing ships?" Eamon queried, an eyebrow raised in amusement. "My boy...that's brilliant, very kingly."

Alistair snorted, wanting nothing but to knock away the map...but knowing he _wouldn't_, and that he would _continue_ to look at maps for the rest of the day...there were at least a dozen promises more to make. His voice was bitter: "It's what I've been _taught_..."

"Kingship is not only a burden my lad...it has its benefits as well." Eamon patted Alistair's back, the old man's eyes softening. "I know it might be hard to see right now...but it's not all bad."

"Really?" Alistair looked away. _Lynn_... "Doesn't feel like it."

"Yes, I _understand_." Alistair felt it, Eamon _hesitation_. _Oh_ _no_..._no, no no_..._don't_... "And about the burdens lad...I...there are some worse then others..." _No, don't say it_..._I don't want to hear it, I __won't_. Squeezing his eyes shut Alistair tried to shut out Eamon's voice, and _failing_. "I realise that you and-"

Alistair felt nothing but relief when there was a crash at the other end of the door. Ignoring Eamon's frown of displeasure Alistair moved away, happy to ignore the old man and what he was going to say. _Yes, it'll go away_..._suuure_ _it_ _will_..._Maker_..._save_ _me_. Ignoring the sudden sensation of him drowning Alistair focused on the door, the carved wood, the simplicity..._Maker_ _help_ _me_.

A second crash and the door swung open, the guard swinging it open staring at the three entering. Morrigan, Leliana and..._Anora_!? Alistair had only seen the woman once or twice...but there was no mistaking the near, yet not quite, attractive features of the woman. The slightly offish impression her expression made, making you wonder if she was a woman...or just a statue resembling one. This was the closest he'd been to her though...and she made far more of an impression of being royalty than Cailan had ever made. _Not sure if that's a good thing though_.

While the queen looked...somewhat relieved of seeing them...Morrigan actually looked stressed, even _upset_...if that word could be used about the witch. Leliana's wide-eyed expression offered Alistair's sudden worry no comfort either. "My word..._Anora_?" Eamon gasped, wide eyes taking in the slightly sweating queen. "You're safe? Where are the _others_!?"

"Yes...where's _Lynn_!?" Alistair added, his gaze focusing on the two women in the queen's company.

Leliana looked away. _No_... The Orlesian swallowed, unable to answer. _Please_ _no_...Alistair felt his knees begun to give in...when Morrigan scoffed. "Alive." Alistair stared at the witch, finding Morrigan meeting his gaze, her eyes filled with irritation even as Alistair let out a sigh of relief. _Thank you_.... "As she will remain for a time..."

_No_...

"Captured." Alistair reached back and grasped at the table as his knees gave in, keeping himself upright . _No_... "She's been captured..." The witch nodded. _Torture_, _death_..._no_...._she's alive_..._but_..._for how long_? "Where's Zevran?" Alistair shot to his feet, sudden anger burning through his veins, hands closing in rage. "Where's that little _weasel_!?"

A muffled sob escaped Leliana. _Oh_. Morrigan's smirk digging into him. "Dead." _Oh_... "Very heroically too...and uselessly..." The witch shook her head, watching him with a curious look on her face. "Very uncharacteristic of him I must say..." _Oh_! Alistair paled.

It struck him, the _guilt_, the _shame_, his _order_...

_I should have been there_..._I should have_... He looked down at his feet, a shuddering breath escaping him. _I never liked Zevran, yet he was willing to follow my order so far_..._and I threw his life away_..._I might as well have stabbed him myself_.

Looking up he realised they were all looking at him, and though it probably wasn't their intention he realised that there was judgement in those eyes. _No, duty_..._focus on the now, there's nothing to __do_..._focus on Lynn_._ The shame and guilt can be dealt with later_. Swallowing, physically _forcing_ down the what-ifs and should-haves to a dark pit in his stomach he shook his head...and assumed a neutral face. "Right, nothing to do about that...we have to save Lynn though."

Leliana gasped at the words, turning pale as she stared at Alistair. _Sorry, it needed to be said_. Morrigan nodded in approval though, much to Alistair's irritation. _We're nothing alike, I will grieve __later__, now is not the time though_. Keeping his face neutral Alistair looked back to Anora, the woman eyeing him with interest, weighing him up... _I don't care what you see_. "Where will they take Lynn? Anora?" The woman flinched at the words. _Yes, no your ladyship, no queen_..._you're Anora, remember that_.

The large eyelashes of the woman fluttered at him, trying to look innocent. "How would I-"

_I know that look, I saw Lynn using it back at Ostagar, I was not fooled then, I will __not__ be fooled now_. "Where?" Alistair snapped. "Fort Drakon?"

"I...yes." Anora recoiled...eyes narrowing as Alistair could physically _see_ her re-evaluate him. "Loghain will want to question her...then..." She left the words hanging. There was no clever smile in the woman's face, none that he could _see_.

_I don't care over your baits, my path is set_. "Then we will rescue her." He looked over at Leliana, the bard staring at him as if he'd gone mad. "Leliana, prepare the others, I want weapons and gear checked and everyone ready to move within the _hour_."

The Orlesian nodded, muted as she moved to obey his command. "Are you mad?" Eamon's voice cut in, the old man shaking his head as he placed a hand on Alistair's shoulder. "You can't attack fort Drakon with a handful of warriors and hope to-"

"I can and I _will_." Alistair snapped, shrugging aside the hand and meeting Eamon's eyes...whatever the old man saw made him turn his face aside. "She's the only other warden in _Ferelden_, we _need_ her." _I need her_...

Eamon refused to meet his eyes, the old man visibly struggling with himself. _I don't want to hear it, you won't stop me, you __can't__ stop me_.

A muted chuckle from Morrigan dug into the silence. "Amazing, for once we agree with one another..."

"You can't just..." Eamon sighed, still not meeting Alistair's eyes. "...you're risking everything."

"Not everything, just the lives of my friends and my own." Alistair snorted. _My own I'd willingly lay down for her_..._and Maker help me_..._I_ _know_ _that applies to the others too_...

"But if you die..."

"Then Anora will use your help to take the crown from Loghain I'm sure." Alistair smiled wolfishly as he turned to look at Anora, the woman taking a step back. "Won't you?"

"I...yes." Anora cocked her head to the side, trying to look neutral. "And if that happens I will fight the blight with all I have, this I swear."

_You __want__ me to fail_. Alistair scoffed. "Good, your word is your bond, _isn't_ it?" The woman narrowed her eyes in irritation, but Alistair ignored it as he turned back to Eamon. "And _you_, you _will_ help her depose Loghain if I fall, we _need_ unity against the blight, _that's_ what's important."

"But if..."

"I don't want to _hear_ about any ifs." Alistair interrupted and took a step closer, so close he could feel Eamon's breath as the worried eyes looked up at him. For a moment Alistair felt his heart soften at the affection in the eyes...then he shrugged it aside. "_Promise_ me you will do this. I _need_ to know everything will work out if things turn to the worse for me."

Eamon hesitated, then looked away, shaking his head in defeat. "Maker...you are your father's son..." _Huh_? Looking back up at him Eamon nodded. "You have my word, with or without you Loghain's regency will end."

"Good." Alistair whirled about and glared at Anora. "I want uniforms and papers getting us into Fort Drakon, can you arrange that?"

The woman shook her head, looking baffled for some reason. "Of course..." She managed a small smile and a nod. "...you will have it." The smile widened a little, turned into a reassuring one. "I promise."

Alistair nearly laughed. _Of course no uniforms or papers will work all the way, you know we'll get caught deep within the fort_..._smart_..._if it wasn't that I intend to fight my way out of that trap I'd say something. But no, this suits me just fine_... "Good."

"'Tis amusing..." Morrigan chuckled, the witch eyeing Anora with an arched eyebrow. "...how eager you are to help us considering how swiftly you abandoned us before...makes one wonder..." She shot Alistair a wry smirk.

_I know already that she intends to_..._wait_... "You abandoned her?" Alistair tensed, the anger that so far had kept him focused and sharp suddenly tearing through his chest, wanting him to _rip_ and _shred_... He kept it down though, held it back, made it come out in short bursts along with his words. "You...left her?" He glared at Anora.

The queen straightened, looking regal, chin held high in defiance, almost looking like Lynn all of a sudden. "I did what I had to do...there was no-"

A gasp.

Suddenly inches from Anora, Alistair realised he held the woman by the jaw with his right hand, the other clenched tightly to his side...and that the woman was staring at him with wide eyes, her controlled self lost. She was shaking, gaze darting between Alistair's mask of barely controlled rage and the hand that _dared_ to grasp the _queen's_ jaw. _Protest_, _I_ _dare_ _you_. Alistair tightened his grip on her, drawing a surprised wince from the woman. "She came to save you."

He felt the woman's stance stiffen at his low growl.

"Y-yes..." The woman's voice was small, thin, _afraid_.

_Good_.

"You left her." Alistair tightened his grip further, making the eyes grow impossible wide.

"I couldn't have saved her..." A wince, a crack in her voice.

_Good_.

Growling Alistair looked away from the fearful eyes and shot Morrigan a hard look. The witch hesitated, then grimaced as she shrugged. "I see..." _Justice_..._she couldn't have done anything_..._and_ _you_ _need_ _her_..._think_. He glared down at Anora, savouring her _fear_, her _knowledge_ that all her plans and trickery could be for naught in mere moments. "...then you live."

Releasing the woman with a snort Alistair stepped back, watching the wide-eyed Anora slowly move a trembling right hand up to her jaw, coming to rest upon where his thumb had dug into her skin...and looking completely dumbfounded. The woman continued to stare at him, trembling. "I...thank you for your mercy..."

Smiling tightly Alistair shook his head. "Not mercy, _justice_....something I intend to see that your father finds."

The woman flinched, her trembling didn't cease, but the eyes narrowed into a glare. "You have _not_ defeated him yet."

Alistair took a step forward, making Anora take half one back in sudden fright...only to stop as Alistair took another step forward, coming so close to her that he felt her breath hitch in fear as he glared down at her. "But I _will_."

There was no answer, the trembling woman staring up at him with wide eyes, a hand coming up to once more touch her bruised jaw.

_Good_. Turning Alistair found Eamon staring at him. "Eamon, hold the fort, try to get some work done on those maps."

"Yes...I will..." The old man seemed about to say something else...but then simply shrugged and looked away.

"Good." Face set in stone Alistair ignored the staring Anora and gestured for an equally staring Morrigan to follow him as he marched through the door to the study, intent on getting his arms and armour...and _then_...

_Lynn_... _I'm_ _coming_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for not having gone crazy because of me...yet._


	58. Chapter 58

A grunt and a limp Lynn was thrown forward.

A brief stab of white pain shot through her head as she cracked it against the floor...then nothing. Behind her she heard the gate lock, the guard locking it chuckling. "Not so tough now are you?"

_Ignore it_. Lynn took a deep breath, grimacing as she felt her practically bare breasts press against the filthy floor she lay on. _The smell and taste of it isn't that nice either_. She moved her head sideways, rested the side of her head against the floor instead, not yet ready to get up.

They had taken her armour and arms, locked it away mere feet away from her cell, taunting her with it even as they brought her out to begin the 'processing'. _Fort Drakon sure has changed since I last visited, Loghain's been busy, or maybe it's Howe_?_ Like it matters_... Lynn didn't much care for the change. Normally Fort Drakon was depressing enough with its deep dungeons and permanent smell of faeces and sweat...but the change of government had brought with it torture as a daily regime...Lynn wasn't entirely sure what purpose it actually filled. _Probably_ _Howe_ _then_...

After a couple of hours of waiting, probably to make her scared, they had brought her out for the first session. She had known it was just a warm-up, to soften her up before the machines were brought to bear and Loghain deigned to come and question her...they had reminded her of that fact quite a lot during the time, to scare her in preparation of what was to come.

_I've defied the archdemon itself, I don't get scared anymore, not for myself anyway_...Lynn smiled, though Zevran was dead the others had escaped...and Alistair was _safe_...what more could she ask for?

_Getting out_. Lynn's smile widened. _Couldn't hurt to try_..._soon_..._wait_ _a_ _little_ _more_..._rest_...

They had beaten her, whipped her. Kicks and punches had hailed over her. Laughs, taunts and jeers had been thrown at her.

She had been taunted by the best though, she had heard the cruellest of things from demons from the fade itself, heard words from Alistair who had struck her heart like no one else. No pathetic guard could draw her out of the shell she'd forced her mind into.

She had been in such pains, her arm had been bitten off, she had suffered from arrows, fire, ice, swords and maces, bones had been broken and blood spilt in such quantities that she must have renewed it a hundred times over by now. No kicks or whips could draw more then blood from her, there had been no cries, not even whimpers, she had remained silent, uncaring.

Finally the guards had simply gotten tired of the woman that apparently didn't care much for their 'torture'.

Still, her body was sore, tired, weak...there was no way to avoid it. So now she lay on the floor...resting...and felt her strength flow back with such amazing speed that her smile widened even further. _Pain is relative, a moment of weakness, a moment of rest_..._and then I'll get up_. She chuckled.

"What's so funny?" The guard growled from behind her.

_Right, get up_.

Still chuckling Lynn got to her feet, noting how much mud and filth was covering her front where she had lay on the floor. _Right, not attractive_..._and that guard had one of those glints in his eyes_..._too smart for that old trick_. "Just thinking about this nice cell of mine." She turned, smiling at the guard who with narrowed eyes watched her from behind the bars to the cell. "You're new here aren't you? All the guards seem new...bet that's what happens with a new government...can't have unreliable guards in the prisons now can we?"

"Weren't you barely breathing just a moment ago?" The guard frowned, eyeing her with confusion. "And don't think you can sweet-talk me, they warned me about you. The great warden, killer of darkspawn, tricky they said." The man chuckled. "Bit on the scrawny side I'd say."

"I barely breathe when I'm resting." Lynn taunted with a smirk, remembering how the man so eagerly had whipped her reddened back. Judging by the frown he remembered it too. "And I guess they didn't warn you about everything about me then? Like the fact that I've escaped from her before?"

"_You_? _Here_?" The man scoffed. "Yeah right." 

"I know, can barely believe it myself anymore." Lynn chuckled and turned. "Never from this cell, but I _had_ prepared for it..." She begun to walk towards the wall at the end of the cell. "...now...lets see...I know I had loosened and a brick somewhere here, kept a hidden little stash you know."

"Liar." The guard scoffed even as she shuffled his feet, made uneasy by her words. _Please don't let him call for his buddies playing cards just yet_... "You're just trying to get a rise out of me." _Good_ _boy_...

"Maybe..." Lynn shrugged, hands moving over the rough stones of the wall..._ah_, _there_. "Or maybe not?"

The putty around one of the smaller rocks had been chipped away long ago by a very patient Lynn and her needle...and now she begun to jiggle it free, the smooth round rock loudly scrapping off what little putty remained. "H-hey!" Lynn grinned as the rock came loose, a solid weight in her palm. "Guys! Get over here!" There was a jingling as the man moved to open the gate. "Step away from that!"

Of course there was nothing hidden behind the rock, Lynn had never gotten the chance to put any lock-pick, knife or _anything _there...Lynn grinned anyway. _Got all I need right here_...She tested the weight of the rock, feeling its smoothness in her fist. _Yes_..._this_ _will_ _do_. Grinning she turned.

The man had swung the gate open and advanced halfway into the cell with a drawn sword, his small wooden shield held out first, ready to repel a sudden knife-thrust or whatever she might hit him with...hiding her rock behind her back Lynn smiled sweetly at him, taunting him. The guard hesitated, then glanced at his heavy splintmail and solid steel sword...and back at her next to naked form hiding something that couldn't be larger then her small fist...and lunged.

A quick step to the right and holding out her left arm and Lynn let the thrusting sword harmlessly stab the air an inch to the left of her chest... Then took a step forward and clamped her arm down while grabbing the man by the shoulder, pinning his sword-arm fast. The man stiffened in fear, realizing he was getting in over his head...even as she swept her right arm around and smashed the rock into the face of the man

With a crunch the nose-guard of the man's helmet bent inwards, drawing a pained gasp from him as he tried to pull away.

Lynn was smaller then him...but she _knew_ herself to be stronger then him...and held him fast as she smashed her rock into his face once more.

Another crunch, another gasp, the nose-guard breaking off the helmet as blood exploded from the man's nose.

He tried to pull away again, but only weakly, his knees buckling.

A third blow...and there was a loud snap as the bone of the man's nose was driven into his brain, sending blood pouring over her.

The guard fell to the ground, dead as the stone.

"That's for calling me scrawny." Lynn snorted, grimacing at the filthy mess of mud and blood now covering her chest. _Nice combination of odour there_... She put her foot under the dropped sword and casually kicked it up and caught it with her left hand. _Clumsy thing_..._bah_..._I've gotten too used to my enchanted blades_.

"Holy...Josh!?" Looking up she found four guards just beyond the open gate, all wide-eyed and staring at the man lying in a puddle of his own blood, faces pale under their helmets. "By Andraste's holy knickers..."

"That sounds like blasphemy to me." Lynn grinned at the four who looked up, four pair of eyes somehow getting wider as the stared at the blood-soaked elf with the clean blade and the stone now covered in blood in her hands. "Are you sure this is an appropriate time to anger her? I've heard it makes your judgement a bit harsher..." She tossed her sword over to her right hand and her rock to her left, amused as she saw the wide eyes following the movement as if it would somehow spell their doom.

_Well_..._it_ _does_.

Then one of the men roared and drew his blade, the others following suit...and charged her.

_They_ were covered in heavy armour, had shields and swords, outnumbered her.

_She_ had a blade she wasn't used to, a rock and stood in only in her underwear.

They never stood a chance.

Ducking under the ungainly swing of the first guard braving his fear Lynn's own sword darted forward, catching the guard's jugular and drawing a strangled gasp from him as the blood poured from his slit throat.

Pushing him into the two guards to her right, drawing panicked screams from them as they jumped backwards, she parried the overhand swing of the next guard...swung her own sword right and down...forcing his into the floor. Before he could draw it free from the floor though she swung her other fist around, smashing her rock into the side of the man's helmet and jarring him. Dropping the bloodied rock she wrapped her arm around the neck of the still confused man, grabbed the opposite side of his jaw...and pulled.

A crack and the neck snapped under the sudden pulls unnatural angle, sending the man whirling through the air before falling to the floor. Catching his dropped sword with her left foot she kicked upwards...and snatched the blade mid-air with her free hand as she whirled to face the two remaining guards.

They hesitated.

They shouldn't have.

Grinning, Lynn rushed forward and jumped with both sword thrusting towards the chest's of the men, making them both raise their shields...then dropped low and swept her left leg around, knocking the guard to the left over as she knocked his legs out from underneath him. The man's scream ended with a grunt as all air was knocked out of him from the fall.

Moving with the momentum she, still crouched, thrust her left sword towards the face of the still standing guard...who parried the blade upwards with his shield...only to gasp as Lynn stabbed her right-handed sword through his abdomen.

A clockwise spin and she freed her blade in an explosion of blood and gore, sending the moaning guard falling to his knees. The moans were quickly silenced though, the flow of the man's blood quickly silencing him for her.

"No, no- please don't, I-" The last guard tried, raising his sword in a vain attempt to guard him from her. Her right blade swept in an upwards swing, knocking his sword away even as she reversed the grip of her left sword...and smashed it through his ribcage, nailing him to the ground.

A shudder...and the guard went limp.

"Right..." Lynn grunted and straightened, leaving the sword buried in the guard she reached for one of the other's, clean as it was. "...now to get out." She eyed the chest not too far away, knowing it contained all of her gear. "Hmm..."_ I should bring that along, a bag perhaps? But I can't well get out dressed in that armour and with those weapons if I'm going to play things smart_..._hmm_ _indeed_..._at least these new guards don't_..._recognise me_...she looked down at the dead guards. _A little mixing of those pieces not damaged and which fits me and_..._heh_.

"Why thank you gentlemen, I _do_ need something to wear."

*

*

*

Alistair didn't like his uniform, it was too light, too flimsy, simple steel that had been made by some overworked smith._ I've been spoiled_. If he wasn't struggling to contain his worry he would have been smirking.

Instead he forced himself to smile ever so slightly as he marched at the head of the group, noting the bare walls of the Fort with some interest. _Simple but tough construction, the purpose of this place is obvious_. Not that Alistair intended to crash through the walls in order to reach Lynn...well...unless he had to.

So far everything had gone according to plan though, the guards at the gates hadn't stopped them as the large group posing as a patrol had marched into the fort, looking like they had every right to do just that. Inside there had been a lot of stares of course...the 'patrol' didn't exactly look like the average one after all. But a few showings of Anora's papers with the royal seal had been all that was required to get them past any officer questioning them.

Alistair had a feeling that would soon change however.

The corridor they had entered was opening to the right, making room for two round tables with assorted chairs whereupon half a dozen guards sat and played cards...a game coming to a halt as all turned to stare at the odd group marching towards the door where two more guards stood, both arching eyebrows in amusement at the new arrivals.

"What's this?" The guard to the right of the door asked, looking the group over with a chuckle. "Three women, a dwarf and...I don't even know what _that_ is..." He pointed at Sten, who true to form remained impassive at the insult. "Is this a circus or a patrol?"

"Yeah, yeah...we've heard them all already." Alistair faked a chuckle and _felt_ Morrigan roll her eyes at him. _Yeah_..._that_ _did_ _sound_ _sort_ _of_ _faked_. There was no suspicion in the guards' eyes though, most focused on the odd 'guards' at Alistair's back. "Would you believe _I'm_ the weird one of us?"

"Not for a second." The guard to the left chuckled and shook his head as he muttered: "Lucky dog..." Then in a louder voice and a wide smile aimed at the ones at Alistair's back spoke: "Hey ladies! Care to join our game?" He pointed towards the free chairs by the tables. "There's room for three more."

"Even I?" Wynne chuckled. "You poor boys must be desperate..."

One of the guards by the table raised his hand, a wide grin on his face. "Actually I sort of prefer-"

"Right." Alistair interrupted, not wanting to hear any more sordid words from the guards, Maker knew he had heard enough already...the one about Oghren had just been disgusting. "We're actually on a bit of a schedule here...so..."

"Aww man..."

Shooting the whining guard at the table an angry look the guard to the right of the door shrugged. "Right, always a bustle here...password then?"

_Yep, I knew it, Anora's plan seems to work...then again, so is mine_.

"Password?" Alistair frowned, watching the two guards take a step closer as they cocked their heads to the side in annoyance, apparently it had been forgotten before. "Oh right, password...hang on." He reached for his belt, to the little pouch there...or rather...the sword next to it. "I wrote it down you see..."

"You shouldn't do that you know."

Alistair shot the leftmost guard a smile as he took a step forward. "I know but-" The sentence was turned into a grunt as he grasped his sword and pulled it into a wide swing. The swing came diagonally upwards...struck the guard in the right side of the jaw, cleaved through metal and bone...and then came out the other side, just above the left ear of the guard.

The man was still frowning in disapproval, not really understanding...then opened his mouth to scream...only to have the shorn half of his skull slide off as he fell to his knees.

A shout and the rightmost guard reached for his weapon...only to be knocked over as Leliana smashed into him with a flying kick, knocking him to a seated position even as she drew her bow...and sent an arrow into his throat from point blank range.

The guards at the table scrambled to move...only to freeze to ice and stone as Morrigan and Wynne turned their arcane arts upon them.

Roaring Oghren rushed in among them, a silent Sten at his side, both swinging their greatswords in wide arcs, sending still frozen limbs crashing into the floor in explosions of red blood as the guards shattered under the unstoppable assault.

The fight ended before it had even begun.

"Right, someone is bound to have heard that." Alistair gestured for the others to follow. "Weapons drawn from now on, let's go!"

Then the door opened before them, revealing another guard. Alistair moved to attack...only to stop.

"Lynn!?"

"Alistair!?"

Alistair stared at the woman, only now realising the guard armour she wore didn't really fit her, and wasn't a full set either...and that she for a guard was carrying a surprisingly big backpack. She was just staring at him, baffled. _As am I_! "How...I thought they locked you up!?" He realised just how stupid the question was the moment it left his lips.

"What?" Lynn chuckled, a wry smile on her lips. "Thought I'd wait like some sort of damsel in distress? You don't know me _at_ _all_ do you?" Alistair chuckled and shook his head. _Well_..._you still manage to surprise me it seems_. "But what are you doing here!? And with..." She glanced over his shoulder. "..._everyone_!?"

"Saving you, duh." Alistair replied with a shrug, grinning.

The grin quickly faded though as he found Lynn scowling at him. _Uh oh_...with the woman advancing Alistair suddenly found himself talking a couple of hesitant steps backwards. "That's the most stupid, foolish, idiotic..." She shook her head as she came up close, a hand pressing up against Alistair's chest as she stood up on her toes to come closer. "...sweetest thing." _Huh_!?

Lips.

Alistair blinked, the sound of an alarm behind him forcing him to push Lynn away, despite him wanting nothing but to meet the kiss and...do other things to her. "Right, I thought you'd be mad..."

"I _am_." Lynn scowled again, but it was a friendly scowl. "You risk _everything_ doing this you know, what was the point of _not_ bringing you with me if you'll just charge into the dungeon later on?"

Alistair shrugged, smiling awkwardly. "I guess you just have to bring me along next time then."

Shaking her head Lynn chuckled and rolled her eyes at him. "You really _are_ a fool..."

"That's what I keep saying." Morrigan muttered, making them glance at her in irritation. The witch was smiling though, if but a little. "Though this time we all were." She nodded towards the others in the group that nodded in ascent. _Wait_..._did_ _she_ _just_ _defend_ _me_? Alistair stared at Morrigan...who just shrugged and looked away.

"Right..." Shaking his head Alistair looked back at Lynn. "I think the guards are coming to arrest us...but they are probably not prepared to face the likes of us."

Lynn grinned. "We're unstoppable aren't we?"

Alistair could only smile back, thoughts worming themselves to the coming landsmeet, to his growing worry.

_Yes, yes we are_...

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for enduring this crappy chapter. ;-)_


	59. Chapter 59

She was wearing that dress of hers again.

Intensely aware of how the flimsy cloth hugged Lynn's body Alistair gripped at the table covered with maps and tried to focus on anything _but_ her...and failing spectacularly.

They had fought their way out of Fort Drakon...and it had been so _easy_. The guards were tough, hard men who didn't flee at the first sign of trouble, but the group had fought their way through the deep roads, fought through abominations and creatures the guards couldn't even dream of...it had been an unfair fight, despite the numerical superiority of the guards.

Alistair had found it strangely...intoxicating. There he had been with the woman he loved, fighting their way free, defying all odds...watching her nearly sing as she fought her way through the enemy...and all he had been able to think about was the celebration _afterwards_. To when they could finally be alone and celebrate her being alive and free. _Maker I want her_...

Of course it hadn't panned out like that. First of all they had held a small vigil for Zevran.. It had been solemn but calm, they had all by now realised that not all of them might survive the greatest struggle of their time after all...and Alistair had been grateful none had asked about the specifics of the elf's death. He had let his guilt flow along with his tears of shame at the funeral...and then he had been done, thrown it aside as just another regret.

Sadly enough that hadn't been the end to his frustration. There had been the short visit of Anora where the woman had expressed her _sincere_ relief of their success...and Alistair and Lynn putting up a show of believing her so that they got enough wiggle room to hint at a possible alliance later on against Loghain. Alistair had both felt disgust over the falsehood of them all and a growing _frustration_ over how he didn't get any time alone with Lynn._ By Andraste I just want to grab her and_..Alistair felt his cheeks flush, making the woman opposite him mockingly arch an eyebrow in question.

It hadn't ended with that though, _oh_ _no_, after that they had been more or less dragged into Eamon's study by the old man, wanting to go through the promises he had made in Alistair's names and the situation in general.

So now he stood there, behind the _damned_ table full of _damned_ maps with Eamon at his right, pointing at some _damned_ pointless thing on the map as Lynn stood there, looking so innocent and..._teasing_! Alistair took a shuddering breath, hotly staring at her, wishing the flimsy dress of hers would just burst into flames or..._something_!

Alistair suddenly wished he was wearing armour. With the simple shirt, something he had managed to get away with now that it was late...and his leather trousers he felt a bit...exposed. At least with wearing plate armour nothing would _show_...he shot a worried glance downwards even as Eamon droned on.

Looking up he found Lynn smirking, the woman cocking her head to the side as she drummed idle fingers against her hip, creating a small imprint in the dress so tautly drawn over-

"Alistair? Are you listening?"

"Um...yes?" Alistair blinked and shook his head. _Dammit_! _Stop_ _being_ _an_ _idiot_! A glance back at Lynn showed that the elf's ears had reddened a little, the woman too having forgotten Eamon for a moment. _By all the_..._can't the man __leave_!? _Preferably __now_! Alistair looked back at Eamon, forcing himself not to look annoyed. _Be_ _careful_ _now_..."Honestly Eamon, it sounds fine, I have no complaints."

Eamon nodded, eyeing Alistair with an odd look in his eyes. "I'm sure you don't. Yet that doesn't change the fact that I have not had time to resolve this last bit of-"

"Yes, yes." Alistair groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll take a look on it, tomorrow, you know it's ten in the _evening_ right? And that I've had a _looong_ day? Fighting makes you tired, I'd like to sleep." _With Lynn, with you gone, now_.

He glanced over at the smirking woman, his breath hitching in his throat as he realised the woman's nipples were clearly pushing through her dress, ready to be-

"Very true, and again, congratulations on such a successful escape." Eamon said, nearly making Alistair groan._ It'll never end_..._this is a joke_..._a big joke_..._I'm going to explode_... "While we're on the subject of the coming landsmeet...Anora is just on the other side of this estate waiting...I believe she wants to make a deal. Now I wouldn't trust her _too_ far, she is her father's daughter after all and is also quite hungry for power. But her support could-"

"I know, I know." Alistair interrupted with a groan of true frustration. "I'll deal with it, _tomorrow_. Is that okay?" He sighed and forced himself to meet Eamon's irritated frown, to _not_ look at the woman he was dying to just throw onto the bed and ravish right there and then. "Now please, I want to sleep...and you offered me _this_ bedchamber, remember?" _So go, leave, bugger off, I'll throw you out on your ass I swear it_...

"It's hardly proper to keep Anora waiting, it might be viewed as an insult." Eamon argued, eyes narrowed at him.

_Oh you damn_...

"I'll go." Both men turned to look at Lynn, the woman keeping her arms crossed in front of her as she smirked at the two...but mostly at Alistair. "I'm sure it won't take _too_ long..." _That's_ _a_ _promise_, _right_? The woman shrugged, head cocked to the side. "And then you can all rest easy..." _Right_!? "...and well." _Yes_!

Holding back the cheer wanting to explode from him Alistair nodded, his words coming out clipped and hurried. "Good plan, do that, now." _Please_ _hurry_...

Another arched eyebrow aimed his way, a teasing glint in her eyes. _Thank the Maker, that __was__ a promise_... "Of course your majesty, Eamon." A short nod, a smirk, and the woman turned to walk away, a distinct sway to her hips as she moved. _That was just the dress doing it right_?_ Not her_?_ Oh what do I care_...

"Right." Alistair shook his head and looked over at Eamon as the old man moved to follow Lynn's example and exit the room. "I suppose I should go to bed as well..."

"Good night." Alistair said, more then happy to let the old man leave so the bedchamber could become..._usable_. "I'll see you tomorrow." _But right now I need candles, some wine_..._if we get a chance to drink it that is, I doubt it_._ Oh and definitively some cheese for afterwards_... _Maker_, _hurry_ _Lynn_...

"Only..." Alistair held back his groan as he saw Eamon hesitate in the doorway, the old man's face sad all of a sudden. "...you _do_ realise you won't be able to stay with her after this..._right_?"

There it was.

Alistair blinked, looking down at the table before him. _It __was__ obvious then_... The thought was oddly calm in his mind, as were the rest. It was a storm of thoughts and emotions...yet it was calm, as if the storm was moving slower then it should.

_An elf, a commoner, a king not yet tested_._ An already chaotic Ferelden where new causes for civil war was just moments away_..._I know these things_. _Yet_..._I can't bring myself to care, I __can't_.

"Why not?" The question was nothing but a whimper, tired and weary. _I can't just_..._I_ _can't_...

Eamon's voice was soft, kind...it didn't help: "She's a commoner, warden or not." _I_ _know_... "To stay with her would not only create unrest among the commoners, but deeply insult the nobles that now are only barely willing to accept you as king in the first place. For if a commoner can become queen...it will be too much for many nobles already feeling that they sit too loosely on their holdings." _Maker_..._I_ _know_... Alistair looked away, eyes closed.

_Pain_.

"Not to mention that she's an elf." _I don't care_... "Many will see this as an insult to the humans of Ferelden. Human commoners will rebel, thinking the elves are taking over. Elven commoners will rebel, thinking they will be supported into creating their own lands by the crown." _I __know_..._they_ _care_... "Many nobles will clamp down on the commoners to suppress any brewing riots or rebellions, causing even more unrest. Not to mention that many more nobles will abandon your cause if you not only marry a commoner, but an _elf_, it would just be too much for them...they would think you mad."

_Pain._

Alistair bit his lips, his hands digging into the wood of the table before him as his shoulders shuddered, eyes closed so hard it hurt. _I can't just_..._no_..._it's_ _not_ _right_..._I_ _can't_ _do_ _that_!

"Elven rebels would fight nobles and human rebels, human rebels would fight elves, nobles and the crown, nobles would fight their subjects and their king..." Eamon sighed. "Lad...we did this to _end_ the civil war, to _unite_ the nation against the blight...not create an even _greater_ war." _I know, Maker_..._I_ _know_...

_Pain_.

"I...can't..:" Alistair shook his head, wanting nothing but to return to sweet obliviousness. _If he hadn't noticed_..._the situation wouldn't have been different_. "I just...can't..." He gasped, head dropping low, feeling splinters dig into his fingers as he held the table tightly, feeling as if it was the only thing real left in the room. "I can't..."

Eamon sighed, voice tinged with sympathy and pain. It was like nothing to Alistair though, an _insult_ to pain. "That's the burden of being a _good_ king, you serve others, not yourself. You _know_ this...you know it all. You already knew this would come up..."

_I do_...He shook his head, willing the thought away, the table groaning under his hands. _No_..._no_...

_Pain_.

"I just...I can't..." _Not_ _now_, _not_ _ever_, _never_... A sob escaped him.

"Alistair..." Another sigh, Eamon hesitating. "...is it not _cruel_? To her I mean..."

"I...I..."

_Pain_.

"She probably knows, she's a bright woman after all..." _No_..._no she doesn't_..._she can't_..._she would confront it_..._she would_... Alistair felt his heart somehow sink lower. _She wouldn't_.... "It's not _fair_ to her, to keep her like this...it will just hurt even more later, better to end it now."

Alistair gasped. _End_..._no_..._never_. It was as if Eamon had reached into his chest and begun to crush his heart. "I...we always find a way...always..." _Always, all that has been thrown at us, we've handled it all, we could_..._we could handle this too_! _Only_..._we_ _did_ _this_ _to_ _ourselves_..._Maker_..._no_... "I..._can't_!"

_Pain_.

"Alistair..."

"No!" Alistair snapped, the table in his hands shattering as he finally opened his eyes and glared at Eamon, a _crying_ Eamon. _No_..._I_ _want_ _to_ _be_ _angry_ _with_ _you_... Alistair winced, realising there was no escape, his emotions tearing at him, unable to find an outlet. Looking away he shook his head furiously, feeling so powerless he just wanted to..._hurt_ something! "Fa-Eamon...I _can't_ end it...not for you, not for the blight...not for _Ferelden_ herself!"

"Then do it for _her_." Looking back up he found Eamon turning away. "If you don't you'll destroy all she's struggled for...and if you wait...you might shatter her once you do it." _No, no_..._you can't be right_..._you __can't_... "Goodnight lad...and I'm _truly_ sorry." Eamon shook his head, shoulders slumped as he moved through the doorway, not looking back.

The door closed, leaving Alistair with nothing but his own shuddering breath and the turmoil of thoughts...a turmoil pointing in a _single_ direction.

_Pain_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the read-through._


	60. Chapter 60

_Soon Alistair, soon_.

Suppressing her giddiness Lynn stopped in front of the door leading to Anora's room and took a deep breath. Teasing Alistair had been fun...not to mention leaving Lynn all the more eager for the end of the day, to just go into the privacy of his room and- _No, no think, calm_. She took another shuddering breath, forcing herself to calm, to not think about just how much she wanted to go back- _No, stop it_!

Chuckling at herself Lynn took a third calming breath and knocked at the door. _Right, focus, this is Anora you're dealing with_..._you have to pay attention_. _But Maker it will be nice when this little talk is over_... Lynn smiled even as the distinct voice of the queen called out: "Come in."

The queen's chamber was spacious, a large bed with thick blue sheets dominating the far end of it. The walls were, as most parts of Eamon's estate, covered in large portraits of men and women long dead along with paintings of landscapes that were familiar...but which Lynn couldn't quite place. At the nearer end of the room a small table of dark mahogany was surrounded from three sides by white couches. Atop the table a tea set of silver stood, two silver cups covered in engravings resting on either end of the table.

Anora was sill dressed in royal blue, looking regal...but a little softer this time, smiling. _Like Mafareth smiled to Andraste before he betrayed her_... Smiling back Lynn inclined her head. "Good to see you again your majesty."

"Please Lynn, no need for the formalities." Anora chuckled and came forth, her left hand landing on Lynn's shoulder and giving it a quick squeeze. "How are you? Have you recovered?"

_Searching for weaknesses are you_? Lynn had already heard Alistair's tale of how she had obviously planed for him to get captured too...and the memory of the queen saving herself and leaving her alone was still burnt into Lynn's mind. Smiling she shrugged. "No worse for wear, after having fought dragons a couple of guards aren't much of a sweat..."

"I'm sure." Anora replied, all smiles as she released Lynn's shoulder and gestured for the table. "Come, sit, drink with me. We have a lot to talk about after all."

"Indeed we do." Lynn agreed and moved to the nearest couch and sat down, watching the teacup before her with a bit of worry. _It's so small_..._how does one drink out of it anyway_? "The landsmeet isn't many days away." _Just two, two __days_..._Maker_...Lynn shuddered and suppressed the worm of worry._ No, it'll be okay, we'll beat Loghain_...

_Then again that's not what I'm worried about_. She struggled not to grimace as she watched Anora move to sit down opposite her, the queen gesturing for her handmaiden who until that moment had been like a statue in the corner. _No, that'll be okay, it has to be_...

_Don't think about it_.

Anora nodded as her handmaiden knelt down on the floor next to the table, head downcast. _Erlina was her name right_? "Yes, and so far I must say the efforts of you and Alistair has been most impressive, a full third of the nobles support you already." With a small clatter Elrina moved to fill both 'ladies' cups. With her hair up it was obvious Lynn was an elf like Erlina, yet she was seated in the couch, Anora's equal. _Better act the part_...straightening Lynn forced herself to ignore the woman crawling in the dirt to fill Lynn's cup.

"And you know this...how?"

Anora's smile was slightly patronizing, reminding Lynn of her own experience in politics. "I'm the _queen_, and more importantly, I have a lot of connections among the nobility, they tell me things of importance in exchange for being assured of my support in their own interests." _Ah spies in noble clothing_. Lynn just nodded, not wanting to give anything away. "I'm sure my father is aware of this as well, he might at one time have just been a general and warrior, but by now he's a shrewd politician as well, he knows what you've been doing."

_That's why they were waiting for us at Howe's estate despite us sneaking in_..._was the man Loghain's pawn then_? Lynn forced herself not to frown, not to show her uncertainty._ I can't know_..._Maker_..._it's like chess but without you able to see all the opponent's pieces_. "That is a shame, to surprise your opponent is always important." She watched Anora with interest, keeping her face neutral.

"Indeed it is." Anora acknowledged with a short nod and a smile. _She's seeing right through me_... "My support _will_ surprise him however...and lead to half of the nobility shifting their allegiance in a heartbeat, _this_ I can guarantee." The woman nodded to herself, the smile fading a little as she grasped the cup by the little loop attached to it between two fingers and lifted it towards her lips. "He will lose his support in one stroke, and won't be able to recover in time to stop the repercussions."

"You're willing to do that?" Lynn asked and reached for her own cup. Grasping its loop between two fingers was easy...but for some reason her little finger shot out as she did so, drawing a kind smile from Anora. _Dammit_. Ignoring the smile Lynn took a sip from the cup. Too focused to really feel the taste of the tea Lynn put it back down on the table with a small clatter as she forced herself to look impassive. "He's your father after all."

"True..." A small grimace appeared on Anora's lips, but otherwise there was no reaction. "He has lost his sight of what's important however...he's obsessed with the Orlesians. Even as he watches their internal bickering for any sign of attacks and his own nobles for treachery he ignores the spreading blight coming through the land..." Anora shook her head. "I'm not a patriot, I don't see Ferelden as something holy in itself, but the nation _should_ endure as it is, it's people _survive_...nowadays I wonder if father remembers that."

"A yes then." Lynn sighed, wondering if she could _truly_ believe the woman's words. "And what happens to him?" _Alistair will want to_-

"Father will live." Anora said, gaze level, burying into Lynn's eyes. "We'll exile him somewhere, away from Ferelden...is that acceptable?"

"I..." _He'll_ _understand_. "...yes." _Loghain should by right die, but if this gets us her support...I'm willing to give it_. Lynn nodded, forcing herself to continue meeting Anora's gaze. "Yes it is, some will not be happy with it...but I can make sure this happens."

"Good." Anora smiled, looking a bit...relieved. _Maybe she's not as calculating as I thought_? "Then I have an offer for you, I'm sure you've heard of the unrest in the alienage...?" Lynn nodded, shortly, suppressing the worm of worry as the queen's eyes bore into her. _Oh yes_. "I can get you in there. Father has done...something there...there is word of sickness, but the sickness only arrived when the _healers_ did...it is very..._strange_." Anora frowned, a hand coming to drum against her knee as the other lifted up her cup to her lips. "I am sure there is some sort of illegal action going on there, possibly inhuman even."

_That would be great, I could see them again, I could_... Forcing herself to scoff Lynn looked away. "What would nobles care for some elves?" She forced herself not to see the surprised twitch of the still kneeling handmaiden now moving to refill Anora's cup.

"Believe what you will, but no noble I know of has ever systematically suppressed an entire elven community." Anora replied, voice guarded. _Yes, I'm an elf, don't worry, speak your mind_. Lynn looked back, arching an eyebrow in question. "To be fair they don't have to, the suppression is _in_ the system." Anora shrugged, a miniscule gesture. "But there's a principle you've forgotten, the elves, however low in society, are _Fereldians_." Anora raised a finger to push the point, face serious. "To hear of the crown _consciously_ moving to systematically harm Fereldian citizen will be an insult to the sensibilities of the nobles, and allowing it would set a dangerous precedence. We're not Orlais, and any noble allowing the crown to take such freedoms is in danger of giving up all ruling power."

"I see..." Lynn nodded. _I can actually believe that, though I'll of course check it with Alistair and Eamon_. "...and I'll check it out if you'll but just give me what I need to be allowed in."

"I'll send my handmaiden with the necessary paper later." Anora nodded, ignoring the woman who, still kneeling with her hands in her lap, stared down at the table. _She's like a pet_... Lynn held back the shudder of disgust, reminding herself that it was very common practice to have elven servants like Erlina. _Had almost forgotten how lucky I am_...Lynn took a deep breath. _Alistair_... "Now, to my price."

"For your support." Lynn said, making herself pay closer attention. _Here it comes_..._this'll be the tricky part_. "Put it plainly, what do you want?"

Anora chuckled, the amusement in her face clear. "I thought we _were_ speaking plainly. But very well...the crown of course." Lynn blinked, despite having expected it. _Maybe I shouldn't have said plainly_... "I have ruled this nation for five years now, but always from the shadows, letting Cailan take the glory." Anora shook her head. "No longer, I am a _good_ queen, I intend to stay that, _and_ be recognised as such." She leant back in her couch, arms draped over the backrest, looking smug all of a sudden. "Give me back my crown and you will have the army of Ferelden at your disposal...and a stable nation after we have beaten the blight, not to mention any additional reward you might wish of me."

"Generous." It _was_, Lynn _knew_ it was...and that Anora would actually _hold_ such a promise, there was no doubting the queen's wish to see the blight's end. Lynn could _also_ believe Anora had ruled for five years already, Cailan hadn't really struck her as a ruler...and that Anora would do a _good_ job at it. _Yet_... "But I..." Lynn looked away. "...Alistair has already made the choice."

A scoff. "Come now, do you really think he _wants_ the crown? No, he does it for _duty's_ sake, I know the type. Let me take it instead, it's a duty I'll _gladly_ bear...instead of a man that doesn't have any experience of ruling and who doesn't _want_ to be king."

_It would be so easy to just_... "I...he has made his choice." Lynn looked down at her lap, watching her hands grip her legs through the dress to stop them from shaking. "I cannot deny him it...it's his birthright, he has the right to do what he wants with it." _I hate this_...

"But he _doesn't_ want it." Anora shook her head, voice confused. "Honestly I thought you more flexible then this."

_I did too_. "I can offer you something near the crown." Lynn looked back up at Anora, watching the calm neutrality in the woman's face, the slightly narrowed eyes. _Careful now_... "Alistair will require an _advisor_, someone to assist him in his rule...such a person would have more power then any noble, only half a step below the crown."

"You offer me back the thing I lost before father took over." Anora noted, tone dry, frown cocked. "No, I will not be cast back into the shadows so your Alistair can play at being king when he doesn't even want to be one. I want to _rule_." The woman shook her head. "Remember, you _need_ me to win the crown from my father."

"Alistair has a greater claim." Maker, he does, I wish he didn't... Lynn forced herself to meet Anora's annoyed look. "With him as king many nobles will fall in line and the civil war end, you cannot guarantee the same."

"I can, to a certain _extent_." Anora grimaced, a sudden crack in her calm. "Though it is true that Theirin blood on the throne will calm many a noble...but even without it I can in the end calm everyone down to join us."

"Alistair _will_ be king." Lynn retorted, set, convinced, resolute. _Maker I'm anything __but_..._I don't __want__ this_! "Make your peace with it." _I wish __I__ could_..._why__ did he make that choice_!? _Why_!? Lynn's face remained impassive, despite her inner turmoil. _Kill me now_...

"Then you won't have my support." Anora shrugged, frowning in irritation as she leant forward to take another sip from her cup as Lynn's own tea went cold. "My father will win the landsmeet and execute you and Alistair...along with any nobles supporting you. I won't be pleased either...but at least I'll be alive."

Silence.

_Dammit_. _But I can't_..._damn_ _you_ _Alistair_!

The silence dragged on, seconds turning to minutes, the two women staring at the table between them, Lynn's forehead creased into a deep frown._ I could just_..._no_..._Alistair should get the crown, it's his to have_..._I can't deny him it_._ Maker_..._why can't I just_..._dammit_!

More silence, save for the tick-tock of a mechanical clock.

"You know..." Anora's soft voice cut through the silence, making Lynn flinch. "...there is _another_ option."

Lynn shrugged, wanting nothing but to leave. "I'm all ears."

"Make me queen, and the queen that _rules_...and Alistair my king."

Lynn blinked, unable to comprehend the offer. "Ah...b-but h-he's..."

"I admit...it's a bit morbid to marry my former husband's brother." Anora nodded. "But it has occurred before, besides..." Getting a distant look on her face Anora reached up with her right hand, fingers playing over her jaw. "...I think he might be more..." The fingers trailed downwards towards her collarbone. "..._bearable_ over his brother."

Lynn felt herself go cold. "But he's..." _He's_ _mine_. "You can't just..." _He's_ _mine_. "He won't..." _He's_ _mine_. "You can't be serious..."

"Come now, it makes political sense." Anora sighed, her distant look disappearing as she focused back on Lynn, a small grimace on her face. "I know that you and he are....intimate." _Maker, does __everyone__ know_!? "It's hard to miss after all." The woman shook her head, almost looking sympathetic for a moment. "But you do know that if you make him king...he won't be able to stay with you."

Lynn gasped, her mask of calm shattering, a hand coming forth to grip at the table as she nearly doubled over. _I_..._no_..._I_ _didn't_..._I_ _don't_..._I_ _didn't_! She closed her eyes, trying to keep the room from spinning. _Or_..._I_..._did_..._but_..._no_! _No_ _I_ _won't_ _hear_ _of_ _it_! "Th-that's not true."

"Come now, you _know_ this." Anora reached out, making Lynn stiffen...then thought better of it and withdrew her hand. "You could still make me queen instead, leave along with him to be wardens, _together_..."

_I could, I really __could__, it's there_..._it would work_._ But Alistair_..._he made the choice_,_ it's his choice to make_! _If I take it from him_..._I can't do that_..._I_ _can't_... "No, I...he's to be king...I can't...he _will_ be king." _No, no I can't_..._no I should_..._I_..._I wish I'd never met him_..._never learnt to just care_..._love_... "He will be king..." Through the haze of her vision she saw the kneeling Erlina reach out...

Anora's hand gently slapped aside the other elven woman's hand before it reached Lynn. "Then you'll just have to settle for a marriage alliance. I...would not wish to share...but if-"

"No." Lynn shook her head, furiously trying to shake away the grief, but couldn't. "No he won't like that either, he's too noble for that." _Damn_ _him_.... "I...it'll end...I..." A sob exploded from her as she turned her face away. "...I promise."

_As I have set out to do for him_..._he has turned me into a fool_.

She got up, her legs wobbly, but ignored the other two women rising to help. "Now...excuse me your majesty...I must take my leave..." She whirled about and hurried out of the room, her body shaking as she held her hands against her eyes, vainly trying to stem the tide of grief pouring out of them.

_I'm a fool_...

*

*

*

Alistair sat on the bed, breathing heavily, despite the hour he had spent..._grieving_ was the only word he could think of that suited it.

_I can't_...

Only now did the door open, far later then he'd thought Lynn's meeting with Anora would end. It opened slowly, carefully, as if it was a servant opening it. Facing it Alistair quickly saw that it was Lynn though, her face neutral, uncaring...despite her uncharacteristic quiet entrance. "Hey honey..." _Honey, Maker I should have called her that more often_. Lynn flinched a little at the words, noting that he was still up, sitting on the bed, waiting. _But not to do what I want to_...Alistair shuddered with shame. "...how was the meeting?"

"Good...good." Lynn closed the door, her voice smaller then usual, making Alistair cock his head to the side in worry. _I don't want to hurt her like this when she's already hurt_..._I_ _can't_..._but_..._no_..._I_ _must_... "We have her support."

"Good." Alistair grimaced, forcing himself to keep things on business. _Not that that's __hard_..._I don't want to do this_..._but I have to_..._come on_..._you've prepared yourself for an hour now_. "May I ask how you managed that?" _I don't_..._I can't_...

The woman hesitated, her gaze drifting down to the floor between them, her stance stiff. "You'll marry Anora."

Silence.

"What!?" Alistair shot to his feet, jolted out of his fear. "No I'm not!" He shook his head, a little dizzy from being torn from depression to fear and disgust so suddenly. "What about-!"

"There's no 'us'." Lynn snapped, her head turning and looking at the distant wall. "We were just playing around." The woman spoke the words sharply, angrily even, but Alistair saw the shuddering of her shoulders, the horror of what she was saying.

The words hurt, but not so much as the fact that she apparently so _easily_ took to her to do her duty. It _shamed_ him... "You're lying." Alistair blinked, realising that he had crossed the room and now stood close to Lynn, dwarfing her as he placed his hands against the wall on either side of her head. "It's so plain to see..."_ But I won't, Maker I won't_..._it_..._hurts_...

A muffled sob escaped the woman as she lowered her head to stare at her feet, her voice muted and whimpering: "Maker...why must you make things so hard? I just...you have to...just..."

"No." Alistair shook his head and reached out with his right hand, cupping Lynn's chin and forcing her to look up. Her eyes were large, tearful..._and I'm going to make it worse_..Alistair felt as if he had trouble breathing, but continued to speak as he shook his head. "I will not marry her, she's not only Loghain's daughter...but she _abandoned_ you! You cannot ask this of me..."

"B-but she..."

"You made her an offer. Let her think she has it...then when her support is no longer needed we don't fulfil our obligation." It was a disgusting tactic, foul and honour-less...but it would _work_. _I will __not__ marry Anora_. Alistair shook his head, feeling his heart soften at the glint of hope in Lynn's eyes, digging into his resolve. _Maker_..._this_ _is_ _wrong_..._I_ _can't_..._I_ _should_..._not_ _now_..._but_ _if_ _I_ _don't_... "That's the only way, for I will _not_ marry her."

"Alistair I..." Lynn frowned and stared at his chest, tearful eyes narrowing in confusion. "...th-that's brilliant, w-why didn't _I_ think of that?"

_Because you were too afraid of losing me to think straight, because you couldn't fathom how you would go on without me_. Alistair winced. _I know this_..._for that's how I feel_. _I can't_..._not without you_. "Lynn...I...I won't marry Anora...." _Say it, you must, do it for __her_..._you know you must_. "B-but if I'm king...I-"

Lips.

Alistair stiffened, feeling Lynn's arms wrap themselves around his neck as she hungrily kissed him, forcing silence upon him. _She's so soft, I could just_...he grimaced against the lips. _No, just_..._no, she deserves better than that_._ Just_..._Maker_..._say it_. Grabbing her shoulders he pushed her backwards, against the wall. "Lynn, I really need to..." The eyes of the woman before him twinkled in sudden delight, teeth bared in a grin as her hands moved to rip his shirt open. _Maker_... "Can't we just..." Her cool hands were suddenly against his warm skin, roving over its ridges and scars, nails softly scrapping against it. "..I...we need to-"

A hiss escaped him as Lynn bent forward, soft lips roving over his chest, small mouth teasingly biting his muscles. "What?" She chuckled against his chest, voice husky. "You need...what?"

_Maker give me strength_... "Lynn, we really ought to-" Alistair took a shuddering breath as Lynn's kisses went lower and lower, lips finding every ridge of his abdomen. "..._ah_...we need to-" Small hands grabbed his belt, tugged at it...loosened it. "_Hah_...we...need to..." His trousers fell to the floor. "...talk."

"Sorry." Lynn chuckled. "Can't talk with my mouth full."

Alistair frowned in confusion. "What are you talkin _a-_" His breath hitched at the sudden sensation shooting through him."_-aaaabout_!?"

His hands shot out to rest against the wall as his knees wobbled to the sudden pleasure.

Another chuckle, this one shaking _through_ him. _Maker_..._I_..._ah_ _Maker_!

_No, breathe, think, you're supposed to_...._by_ _all_ _the_.... "Lynn I...ah...we really...ohh...need to...ah...talk."

_Cold_, yet a hot breath _close_ to him, brushing against him, fingers around him. _Maker, don't look down, just don't_... "Oh?" A tug, a small kiss...and a groan escaped him. "Want me to stop?"

_Yes_. "N-no." Alistair squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavy. "B-but we really...you..." _Does she know_? _She_ _must_..._but_-

His thoughts fluttered away at the sudden pressure, the sudden wetness, the _tightness_. "Andraste's breath!" He hissed the words through clenched teeth, eyes rolling back in pleasure. "By all the...we...ah..._please_ Lynn..._don't_...we must..."

Suddenly free from the pleasurable prison Alistair managed to open his eyes...only to find Lynn standing before him, a decidedly wicked look on her face as she held him with her hands, tugging at him._ Maker just_..._I can't_..._we must_... "You know...I've heard it's quite comfortable to sleep in a bed...should we give it a try?" She smirked.

"Lynn I..." Alistair breathed, feeling as if he had just fought the high dragon all over again. _No, focus_... "We need to..." The tugging became more forceful, demanding. "Ahh...we..."

"Don't make me start without you." Lynn's smirk got wider.

_It's just a mask_.

Alistair's legs once more wobbled at the realisation, seeing the forced smirk of the woman as she pulled him towards the bed.

_She just won't admit it_...

The realisation hurt, the knowledge that she, _Lynn_ of all people..._couldn't_ face what was coming. _If I tell her she'll shatter_..._I_..._I can't_..._not_..._no_..._but I __should_..._I_...

A small laugh and Lynn threw herself onto the bed, all smiles, all desperation...it was _supposed_ to look seductive...but for Alistair it was just painful to see now.

_I can't tell her_...he forced a smile and climbed onto the bed.

_The day has been cruel enough to her already_...he climbed atop her, hands dutifully moving to tug away at her clothes, drawing a purr out of her as she pulled him closer.

Closing his eyes Alistair pressed up closer, put his head over her shoulder as he thrust forward and, sure that the groaning Lynn couldn't see, began to weep.

_Tomorrow, I'll tell her tomorrow_...

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for checking that I wasn't being an idiot._


	61. Chapter 61

It was a pleasant surprise to be chosen to accompany Lynn.

Of course Alistair would have demanded it anyway, forced her to bring him along, but it was nice that she had _decided_ to let him come. _Maybe she just wishes to spend as much time as possible with me before_...Alistair took a shuddering breath..._before_..._Maker_ _I_ _can't_ _even_ _think_ _it_....

As if to taunt his growing worry the sun was up, blazing down upon them, making him sweat in his armour. _Great, silvery finish looks nice_..._but I could do without turning into a second sun_. Ignoring the looks he got from some passers-by Alistair trundled on to Lynn's right._ Maybe they recognise me_?_ Eamon hasn't exactly kept my presence or my identity secret...or maybe it's just the armour_? He held back a grimace as he saw a gaping child point at his face while jerking the hem of his mother's dress, making Alistair blush as the mother too begun to gape. _Well that settles it then_._ If it wasn't so warm I'd put the helmet on_...

Behind them Wynne and Sten marched on. Wynne to treat whatever illness might have befallen the elven in the alienage. Sten and his permanent scowl, huge dragon bone plate armour and general disturbing appearance to ward off any overly curious civilians. Civilians that for all they knew could be disguised soldiers or assassins ready to pounce for all they knew.

_Should have brought the others too_.

Of course that hadn't really been possible. Morrigan had just scowled at them when asked, and she caused too much attention anyway . Oghren was busy running drills with Eamon's soldiers back at the estate to prepare them against any sudden attack that Loghain might try, something he almost did sober to the great shock of the others. As for Leliana...they had caught the woman busy shaving...naked...the following scream had convinced them not to bother her any more for the day. _Thank the Maker Sten had been in front of me or_..._well I'm pretty sure Lynn would have murdered me at the end_.

Still, a larger group might have caused even more attention than theirs already did...Alistair forced himself to ignore yet another pointing finger...so perhaps just the four of them was for the best?

_Though it does mean I won't be able to hide behind the group as_..._Maker I'm going to see her family_! Taking another shuddering breath Alistair watched as Lynn held up the document with Anora's neat handwriting and seal on before the guard to the alienage...who read the text with bored eyes before shrugging and moving to open the gate.

_Right_..._I should have combed my hair_..._and not kissed Lynn good morning_..._Maker_..._I don't smell of her do I_?He took a careful sniff of his shoulder and nearly groaned. _Okay, I'm going to die_...

A soft chuckle escaped Wynne, a quick glance back showing that the old woman was smiling. "Is that a hint of nervousness I detect? Oh my...but aren't you the Alistair that fearlessly smashed his shield into the maw of a dragon?" The woman arched an eyebrow even as the smile turned into a smirk. "Surely a visit to the slums shouldn't worry you?"

"Dragons don't scowl disapprovingly at me." Alistair replied with a little smile of his own. When it came to teasing Wynne's was a pleasant tickle, a kind little jab compared to the sharp blade Morrigan kept stabbing into him. "Nor do they tell Lynn she should just forget about..." He winced, remembering what he _still_ hadn't done. "...me."

The smirk of the mage faded, no doubt she was attentive enough to understand what would happen too, despite having lived in her tower for the majority of her life Wynne was nothing but perceptive in these matters. "Ah...yes...I'm sure it will go okay lad." She offered a small reassuring smile that only made Alistair all the more worried. _I'm_ _doomed_...both looked over at Lynn slowly leading them across the bridge.

The woman was whistling, _keeping_ herself oblivious to the spoken words behind her, the implications, the worried glances. Sauntering forward the woman was, as far as Alistair could tell, smiling. She was _content_ to think of meeting her family, to have her lover nearby, to never have _anything_ change...

It was painful to watch.

_I should tell her now_. His gaze darted up, realising they were close to the alienage, to whatever worry was there. _If her family has died_..._Maker_..._I can't tell her_..._not now_. He grimaced. _And if they're alive she'll be so happy_..._I can't ruin that_...

_Later_..._I'll tell her later_...

Alistair grimaced again, realising he was just postponing the inevitable. _But what else can I do_!?_ I can't very well just blurt it out_..._and_..._I don't want to_... Sighing he looked away, Wynne's compassion radiating from behind him, burning him. _I'm being selfish, I should just_..._but_ _I_ _can't_! He shook his head, wanting nothing but for Wynne to stop being so _damn_ compassionate. _It hurts to think of_..._stop reminding me_...

Lynn's gasp drew him away from the depressing thoughts however.

Into a depressing _sight_ instead.

The alienage was a slum.

Instead of cobbled roads and pavement the ground was just a muddy mire, dry and dusty due to the sun, yet muddy none the less. The houses were rickety constructions, a mix of wood and stone that seemed to have halfway sunk into the ground...barely supported by wooden beams that had been added to them during their decay. Even the roof of the houses seemed to be sinking inwards...as if wanting nothing but to crash through the house and kill those unable to properly care for it.

Alistair couldn't find a single straight angle.

That was not what Lynn had reacted to though, the woman having taken a step backwards, a hand over her mouth as she stared at the...Alistair blinked...a _pile_ of dead to the left.

He'd seen larger, they'd made a couple of darkspawn one after all. But these were all dead _elves_. _All_ having been simply tossed out through the gate leading into the main square of the alienage. All were covered in green and puckered sores, all staring at the sky with pale white eyes.

Another step forward and the smell of them struck Alistair. "Maker's breath..." Putting his left hand over his mouth he took two quick steps forward and placed himself between her and the pile, his right hand coming up and wrapping itself over her shoulder. "Don't look at them." He couldn't follow his own advice. Maker, _If people haven't even had the energy to bury them_..._maybe we shouldn't go in_?

"Th-they could-" Lynn started, leaning past him to look-

Dropping the hand from his mouth he moved it over to her face, covering Lynn's eyes even as he snapped: "No, they're _not_, now keep moving." _Maker I hope they're not_...

They moved past the pile of dead, the blind Lynn shaking under his hands all the way. _This isn't fair_. It wasn't much better when they entered the main 'square' of the alienage, the large tree dominating it was impressive, _yet_....it was only with reluctance that Alistair let Lynn push his hand away from her face. _This isn't fair_.

Many elves were outside, not working though, just _sitting_ there. Some were leaning against the houses, others simply lay in the mud, dead save the shallow heave of their breathing. There were a lot of puckered sores shown in their faces...reminding Alistair of the many living dead he'd fought. _Not fair at all_. He tightened his grip on Lynn's shoulder, looking down he found her turning her head left and right, wide eyes trying to take it all in...and obviously failing._ She's not_..._it's not fair_.

"By Andraste..." Wynne breathed, the woman staring around herself, looking uneasy around the many sick people scattered across the ground. "...this is no way for sick people to be tended to...where are the healers?" Even Sten seemed a bit perturbed, looking ready to draw his sword and defend himself against the disease...despite knowing he couldn't.

The four human guards with the hands on their swords standing around the closed door to a slightly larger house answered that. The men didn't really look Fereldian for some reason...and had no compassion in their eyes as they warily watched the near dead elves strewn over the ground, as if fearing an attack from the ones who could barely get up, let alone lift a weapon. _Bet the healers are in there, where it's safe_..._it's not fair_.

Lynn shook her head and swallowed...before her small voice echoed his thoughts: "It's not fair..."

"No, no it's not." Alistair muttered, not knowing what to say. _What could I say? I can't even begin to understand_..._I_..._I should just keep quiet_. The shame was there, over _what_ he was, over how little he had _thought_ about the situation of the elves before he'd met Lynn... he hadn't even questioned the existence of alienages or the slums, he hadn't liked it...but it was just part of reality, something he didn't think about.

But here it was, a great slap in the face, showing him exactly just how heartless he'd been. _I should have visited one with Duncan or something, I should_..._I should know my own country_! He grimaced, unsure if he wished that all of a sudden. _I can't be king over something I'm ashamed of_...

_Then make it better_.

Alistair blinked and looked down at Lynn. "Did you say something?"

The woman shook her head, slowly, miniscule, nearly blind eyes staring at the horror before her. _I could have sworn she told me_..._no, focus on what's important_. "Lynn I...maybe you should go? We can-"

"No." The woman shook her head, eyes narrowing as she blinked away the tears, shoulders squared. "No I will _not_ go." A deep breath...and Lynn was fully returned. "Duty Alistair, have you forgotten? We don't _abandon_ it out of fear, we embrace it to _face_ our fears."

Alistair forced a chuckle. "Are you trying to teach me to be king?" The woman shot him an irritated look, forcing him to smile. "Because you already have..." _Come now, smile_... There was no smile, but at least the shrug she offered seemed to loosen her shoulders a little. _I think that'll have to do_... "So, fixing this then? How will we do that? We always find a way..." _Maker, I wish that was true_...

Lynn looked back over the depressing sight ahead of them, eyes hard. "Well I-" She stopped, blinked, paled. _Oh no_... With a scratching of metal against metal she tore herself from from his grip over her shoulders, the woman fast as the wind as she rushed towards the tree there. "Shianni!? Soris!?"

Hurrying after her Alistair spotted the two elves Lynn had knelt down beside. The man's dark red hair was cut short...yet its edges were greying despite his obvious youth. Lying propped up against the tree the man's eyes were mere slits, his breathing shallow as many small sores broke through his pale skin. Kneeling down next to the man the red haired woman was in slightly better shape, her skin was pale but without sores, her green eyes weary as they took in the new arrivals with fever-induced disinterest.

Alistair forgot all about his nervousness at the sight, at the realisation. _Her cousins_..._it's not fair_...

Shianni blinked, the pale skin creasing into a frown. "I...Lynn? No..." She looked back at the man that had to be Soris. "...we're not dead yet..." She shook her head, the movement sluggish. "...Soris?"

"You're not dead, you're _not_." Lynn inched closer, making Alistair realise he should be looking away...but he couldn't bring himself to respect Lynn's privacy._ It's just not fair_... "You're here, by the tree, you remember that don't you? We used to climb it...right?" She reached out, hand trembling, and grabbed Shianni by the shoulder, gently shaking her. "_Right_?"

"Th-that..." Soris eyes widened a little, the sick man staring up at Lynn, eyes sickly white. "...i-is tr-true. Lynn?"

"Yes...yes." The woman nodded and slipped down onto both knees, her other hand snaking itself up to clasp Soris pale hand. "I'm here..."

"Th-thought..." Shianni coughed, a rattling sound from her thin little frame, sounding as if something was dragging against her ribs. "...y-you...dead. F-funeral."

"I'm not..." Lynn visibly shook, making Alistair want to... _No, don't, keep away, you can't help_..._and shouldn't either_. Partly he knew he would only make things worse by intruding...but partly he also realised she would soon be on her own...without him...and would need to remember to live alone. At the moment the depressing realisation didn't have much strength however, it was just too..._distant_ now that he saw the suffering before him. "...I'm not..."

"Y-you look different..." Shianni managed a pale smile. "D-did you get t-taller?"

_Such_ _bravery_...Alistair suddenly realised why Lynn had spoken with an admiring tone when talking about her cousin. "Shianni...where's father?" Lynn loudly swallowed, still holding the two cousins...yet now it almost seemed as if _they_ were the ones keeping _her_ up. "Where is he...?"

"Healers..." Shianni managed a slow nod towards where the guards stood. "...took him...not se-seen...since."

"I..." Lynn shook her head, shoulders shaking. "...wh-why aren't y-you th-there too? You need help..."

"Th-they only ta-take us in sm-small groups..." Shianni shook her head, feverish eyes turning to Soris, hand coming down to caress his cheek as the barely breathing man stared at Lynn in mute confusion. "...d-don't trust them...shems..." _Oh_. Alistair grimaced. "...th-they br-brought...disease...I...think...no treated...co-comes out...all...di-disappears."

A shudder...Lynn lowering her head...then a voice, hard and uncaring, Lynn's mask back on: "Wynne, check Soris, he's the sickest." Stepping to the side the warden let the muttering Wynne crouch down before the sick man, the old mage ignoring his muttered protest as practised hands came to check his eyes and mouth.

"Lynn are you..." Alistair's question trailed off as he remembered his place. _No, stay quiet, I_..._no kindness_..._let her stay alone_...

It hurt.

With some pride...and pain...he saw that the woman's mask of calm didn't crack, she remained the hard warden, unharmed by whatever the harsh world threw at her.

She didn't meet his eyes though, couldn't.

_It's probably for the best_.

"The disease is not of the flesh..." Wynne noted and rose to her feet, a frown on her face as she turned to Lynn. "It's magic that creates it...I'm sure."

Lynn nodded, shot Alistair, or rather his chest, a hard glance. "Alistair, give it a try."

_Just_..._don't_ _say_ _anything_. Nodding Alistair advanced and closed his eyes, drawing _it_ forth, the _nothing_, the _emptiness_...the utter calm of _oblivion_...

After having had so much experience from fighting mages all over Ferelden the surge of _nothing_ rushed out from him within a mere moment...purging any connection to the fade all around him.

Opening his eyes once more he saw the colour return to Shianni and Soris' cheeks, both looking more healthy...only to see the effect wear off right in front of him.

"Wynne?"

Taking a step forward to Lynn's growl Wynne raised a hand and closed her eyes in turn as she reached out with her arcane senses. "No...the magic was ended...only to come back...it must come from a source nearby. A mage perhaps? He would have to be near...in Denerim at least..."

"Then we'll find the mage." Lynn nodded, her course set, an irritated cough escaping her as she glared down at her cousins. "And _make_ him end whatever spell he's casting."

Shianni shook her head, the woman frowning in confusion. "H-how? Wh-where will you...st-start?"

"The healers' place seems like a good guess." Lynn shot Alistair a quick look, who nodded in assent. She quickly looked away though, her mask cracking a little. _No_..._don't_ _cry_...a snort and it came back into place. "We'll sneak in, find whatever lead we can find...and go from there. You _will_ be okay." She glared down at Shianni. "You hear me? You _will_." It was an order.

Another pale smile, the woman's head coming back to rest against the large tree at her back. "Taller.."

"Shianni, Soris..." Lynn knelt down and shook the two cousins, rousing them from their feverish sleep. "...I _will_ come back."

"I..." Shianni blinked, looking confused. "...believe you."

Soris however just opened his eyes into small slits as he looked at her, forehead creased in confusion. "L-lynn?" A weak cough. "Th-thought y-you w-were de-dead..."

The mask cracked, a small sob escaping Lynn as she looked away. _Dammit_...Alistair couldn't help but step closer and put a hand on her a shoulder, a hand she instantly grabbed a hold off, _clutched_ at._ I_..._she needs me_..._I can't stay away_..._not today_..._dammit_. _I should_..._but_..._I'm not strong enough_. Lowering his head in defeat he listened as Lynn whispered. "No...no I'm not...I'm here to help...I'll come back...I promise."

_This isn't fair_...

Then she was on her feet, face hard, despite the lone tear running down her face. "Right, let's get going." Another cough escaped her, making Wynne frown in worry.

"Lynn, if there is magic at work here affecting the elves of the alienage...perhaps you shouldn't-"

"No." Lynn snapped, frowning in irritation as she cleared her throat.

With a sigh Wynne turned to Alistair, wanting his support. _I_ _should_...he shook his head. _No, she's the leader, she makes the calls, we'll_..._she has to take care of herself_. Squaring his shoulders he looked away. "Let's go."

Ignoring Wynne's disapproving look Alistair watched as Lynn shot him a short nod before whirling about, ready to lead them to wherever their quest would take them...and felt nothing but shame.

_It's just not fair_...

**

_Another thank you to Abydos Jackson. _


	62. Chapter 62

Breathing ragged.

Sweating.

Her blood loudly thumping in her ears.

Lynn was sick, she _knew_ she was, but she also knew she was _close_...just a bit further and she would be rid of whatever curse had befallen her _and_ her family! Ignoring the irritating burning sensation spreading over her skin she tackled the last guard in their path, not even bothering to draw her weapons as she simply grabbed the man by the collar and with a grunt smashed him head first into a wall, crushing his skull. _I'll end this_.

With a wet thump the guard dropped to the floor.

She could feel it, the other's concern, they had all seen her paleness, the slight waver in her stance. She wouldn't have it though, all but Alistair's concern was given the cold shoulder...and _he_ seemed oddly..._reluctant_ to give it at the time. He gave his concern...but it was more dutiful than heartfelt, as if he really didn't _want_ to...

_Don't think about it_.

_Damn sickness making me think strange thoughts_. Lynn's scoff turned into a cough as she, still ignoring the others, kicked in the door in her path. _Stupid sickness, he's not being_..._no_..._stop thinking about it_. She marched in through the doorway, tackling the door as it bounced back towards her with nothing but a second thought. _This ends now_.

The room they entered was spacious, some part of main hold for wares...only this one didn't carry _wares_. Lynn and her friends filled out over a small balcony that on each side of the wall lead to two small flights of stairs down to the main floor. A main floor largely devoid of any furniture, except for the cages, the silver cages shimmering with magical runes...containing elves...Lynn's gaze roved over them, seeing their healthy but desperate looks. _So it's true, Tevinter slavers, and the only healthy elves are the ones in the cages_..._they don't want their __wares__ damages_. Lynn bared her teeth as a feral growl escaped her.

Turning at the sound eight men in similar mail armour as the horde they'd already waded through stared up at the new arrivals...along with a ninth man in an elaborate robe with shoulders covered in dark grey fur and sporting a small beard as his only facial hair, giving him a strangely diabolical look. _Mage, must die_. A second growl escaped Lynn even as the man arched an eyebrow. "Ah, caught red-handed it seems...and I suppose you are the warden that everyone speaks of? Of course you are." The tone was anything _but_ diabolical, it was uncaring, light, the voice of someone speaking of the weather..._not_ belonging to a cruel slaver.

For some reason that made a third growl escape Lynn. "You're dead."

"Ah, yes, apologise for...that thing." The man gestured for Lynn's face where she was sure sores had begun to appear. "This spell isn't all that accurate, to make it elves-only was hard enough to be honest." He shrugged. "But not to worry, I have heard that you are the reasonable sort and-"

"Sooo dead." A fourth growl.

The man pulled back in surprise, his staff in his hands as he regarded her. "Or perhaps I heard wrong..." He shook his head. "I know what you want, and I will leave, even give you papers to use against your little Loghain friend."

Lynn shook her head, ignoring the dizziness as a _fifth_ growl escaped her. "I will find enough in your papers once I've killed you. I've done this before."

"Ah, headstrong are we?" The mage smirked, confident of his position. _They're always confident_... "Surely you realise that I have several of my most skilled men with me here? _And_ have the power of the fade at my command? I do not wish to risk a battle however...surely we can work something out? I am feeling very generous today..."

Barely hearing Alistair's whispers to the others of 'prioritize that' and 'attack that' Lynn's gaze darted back to the cages, finding...

_Dada_? The man was staring at her, eyes wide...but there was _no_ spark of recognition in them, no...grimacing she turned back to glare at the mage. _Dada_... "You. Will. Die." The _sixth_ growl, the _last_ one.

"Ah, shame that." The mage scoffed. "I had really hoped-"

The rest of his sentence faded away as Lynn crouched lower, tensed...and jumped over the bannister to the balcony with a flip. Drawing her weapons mid-flip she saw her companions back on the balcony stare at her in shock...before both Alistair and Sten begun to scramble for the stairs at each of its ends as Wynne moved to cast a familiar spell.

Landing heavily on the floor Lynn bent down into low crouch as she saw the slaver-mage move to cast something...only to stop as he was en-capsuled in the forcefield spell Lynn had forced Wynne to learn from Morrigan. _Won't last long, it never does on mages_. Even as she watched the field begun to crack as the mage within looked at her with a smirk on his lips.

_They always smirk_.

The closest guard lunged at her practically the moment she landed on the floor. It was a practised lunge, a skilled attack made by a skilled attacker...and it missed her head by feet as she came forth in a lunge of her own. Hers was low, her lunge shooting out from her crouched form like an arrow.

The tip of her sword easily pierced the armour under the man's armpit and crushed through flesh and bone... A moment later it pierced into the man's heart and lung, turning the great swordsman to a limp rag-doll of flesh and mail.

Two coming at her...A high kick and the body on her blade crashed into the first as the second hid his thrust with his shield to the very last moment...only to find Lynn instinctively block the attack with her sword as she with a clockwise spin came within his guard...her axe cutting his head off even as she continued her advance.

The mage was still smiling, the shield around him flickering, struggling to contain him.

_They always smile_.

The one she'd kicked the first killed guard into rushed towards her flank even as another man lunged at her from the front. Parrying the swing towards her side with her sword she bashed aside the thrust towards her chest with her axe and took a step to the right and placed a solid kick into the knee of her flanking opponent, drawing a scream from him. He tried to look up...only to scream again as Lynn smashed her pommel into his eye with a loud crunch.

Thrusting her gore-covered sword against the foe whose attack she'd parried with the axe she found the man parrying the attack with his shield...and then smirked as he turned his head away from the axe she thrust towards his face...before shouting out in confusion as Lynn pulled back her axe, hard. The lower tip of its edge dug into his mail neck-guard, barely piercing it...but pulling him along with it...making him stumble past her left...

Where he died, Alistair's sword sticking out from his back.

Continuing her advance Lynn ignored the wounded soldier still clutching his eye being finished off by a swing of Sten's blade and instead met the next fool willing to oppose her.

These men were skilled however, and disciplined, seeing their friends so easily killed by her they massed together as one before charging, the worried looking mage moving sluggishly as he begun to come free.

_They always look worried_.

One of the charging guards flew back, his chest opening up like an obscene flower as a magically preserved stone thrown by Wynne smashed into him.

Lynn jumped, being able to jump onto ogres by now it was no trouble clearing the heads of her opponents with a few good feet to spare...even _with_ her flipping through the air. Hooking her axe into the shoulder of the man in the centre of the charging group she pulled him off his feet even as she landed...her now reversed gripped sword plunging into his chest, making blood spew from his mouth as the others begun to turn...

The one to the left died with a loud crack, his spine snapping as the tip of Alistair's shield smashed into it.

The one to the right died, body split from head to groin in an explosion of blood by Sten's overhand swing.

Freeing her sword and axe Lynn spun, facing a now fully free mage...who's eyes were now wide with fear.

_They are always afraid_.

"No! Please! I can-!"

_No deals_. Lynn's lunge was parried by a raised staff, but it was only to keep him from casting a spell as she closed the distance, her axe coming in an underhand swing that split the raised staff in two with a loud snap, making the mage stumble backwards.

"I could-!"

_No politics_. Spinning clockwise Lynn's axe made the mage retreat further...only to cry out as Lynn's longer sword smashed into him with an overhand swing...cutting off his left arm at the shoulder.

"Ah! I-!"

_No compromise_. Continuing her spin Lynn's axe smashed into the man's right shoulder...making the arm attached to it slide off with a meaty sound.

"Ahh..." A gasp, the mage's eyes pleading.

_We fight_. Lynn's sword thrust out, spitting the chest of the man, skewering him, making blood foam from his mouth as he opened it to _speak_, to _talk_, to make _deals_!

No sound came though, no deal, no politics, no...danger.

_You_ _die_. Lynn's axe smashed into the top of the man's skull, splitting it in two.

A thud and the mage slumped to the ground, Lynn barely feeling the effect of her sickness disappearing as she glared down at the broken body, almost wanting it to get back up so she could kill it again. It didn't though, it just lay there, Lynn's dropped weapons stuck in it like obscene replacement for its arms.

_They always die_.

"L-Lynn?"

She blinked, looking away from the _filth_ covering the floor...and saw _him_...saw the recognition in his eyes, the _love_. "Dada..." She stumbled forward, sudden joy flooding her veins purging it of the bitterness and leaving her dazed as she advanced upon the cage containing Cyrion...her father..._dada_...

The man had tears in his eyes, something he didn't often have...and this time Lynn did too. "I thought you were..." He reached out through the bars as he pressed up against it, wrinkled face twisting into a grimace torn between the pain of the memory and the joy of the moment. "...we all...we..."

"I know..." Lynn nodded, swallowing as she came closer. _Am I dreaming_? "Maker I know..." She reached the gate, her own hands shooting through the bars to grip her father by the back of his head as she brought up her forehead against his, letting his shaking hands tentatively feel her shoulders, her neck, her face...not really believing it was there. "...I know..."

His hands were more wrinkled then she remembered, his hair greyer, his stance more slouched...but it was him. _Dada_...

"I...um..." She barely heard Alistair's voice, could only smile at the awkwardness in it. "...let's look for the keys to the gate Sten...erm...Wynne you find their documents...let's just...give them a moment."

"You're alive..." Cyrion breathed the words, tasting them. "...my daughter is _alive_..." A small laugh, a mixture of pain and relief. "...Maker she's alive..."

Lynn nodded as best she could, still pressed up against his forehead, eyes closed as she swallowed down lump after lump of emotions...only to gasp when she couldn't continue any longer.

"They said all..." The man shook his head, slowly. "I...you're _the_ warden? I didn't dare hope...I...it hurt you see...I...I'm so..."

_Don't be sorry, don't_. Lynn's right hand trailed down, gently squeezing her father's shoulder. _It's_ _okay_..._be_ _happy_..._as_ _I_ _am_... A small sob escaped her, relief pouring through her._ I've missed you_...

"Lynn...my tough little Lynn..." The hands held onto her face, _clinging_ to it even as the gate next to them creaked as it was opened. "...my baby girl..."

Lynn laughed, a short, struggled gasp for relief. Her voice was heavy, thick, unable to say all she wanted to _say_, all she wanted to _tell_ him.

"Dada..."

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the praise. ;-)_


	63. Chapter 63

The dinner hadn't started off all that well.

Even Lynn, determined to keep smiling, had known that.

With the death of the Tevinter mage the disease affecting the elves of the alienage had faded away, leaving them confused but grateful, Lynn had found many kneeling in the dirt, praying to the Maker in gratitude. When the disappeared elves had been returned to their families and the source of the disease explained, along with how it had ended...the gratitude had then turned towards the four...and Lynn had smiled.

It had been different, she'd received so much gratitude from so many people by now...but these...these had been _her_ people. Lynn had perhaps enjoyed it a bit _too_ much, but who could blame her? Even Alistair and Wynne, being humans, had been hailed as _heroes_! Heck, _Sten_, so frightening to the far shorter elves, had been _hugged_, which to Lynn's great amusement had made the giant extremely uncomfortable.

It had been a great moment of celebration, together, as _one_ people. Though it was just a minor victory to Lynn compared to what they'd endured so far...the taste of it had been far sweeter then any other.

Still, they had finally managed to free themselves from the horde of grateful elves...but not in time to escape Cyrion and his offer to eat dinner together. And who was Lynn to refuse? She _wanted_ to eat with her family, _both_ of them. Though the landsmeet was the next morning Lynn knew there wasn't much to do, she'd sent Sten with the evidence they needed to Eamon...and an invitation to the others to attend.

Oghren had come, of course, apparently the dwarf could sense the opportunity for alcohol from miles away. Morrigan hadn't, again, not much of a surprise. Both Leliana and Sten had come too...the reluctant qunari more or less dragged along by the bard... The bard who had been _delighted_ at the sight of Wynne doing check-ups on elves of all things, saying something in the lines of 'soooo cute' and looking adorable enough to get away with it from the surprised elves.

Then it had gone downhill.

Even _with_ the donations in food of extremely grateful families of the alienage the food covering the table they now sat around was simple and not overly abundant, little more then what the group was used to back at camp actually. None had of course said anything, save Oghren grumbling about only water being served...but it had been obvious that the feast the elves had served before them wasn't much of a feast to the group.

_That_ had been awkward, making Lynn feel as if she somehow had abandoned her people, that they weren't _good_ _enough_ for her all of a sudden...it made her feel disgusted with herself.

Then there had been the fact that even in her old home the group was still in their armour, not letting their guard down in case Loghain attempted something. This meant they were still in armour, sans helmets and gauntlets, and still with weapons ready to be drawn. Compared to the three elves of her family in dirty clothes their shining suits of magically enhanced armour and weapons had stood in stark contrast...stressing the two 'sides' difference in wealth.

Lynn had forgotten about just how rich she'd become, it shamed her.

So they had sat, the conversation slow...and swiftly dying out completely as Cyrion sat at one head of the table with Shianni on his right and Soris on his left. While Lynn and Alistair found themselves seated at the other head of the table, Oghren and Sten on their left and Wynne and Leliana on their right. Lynn hadn't wanted that, she hadn't wanted _sides_ to form, they were _all_ family...

But then Alistair, that wonderful awkward fool of a man had spotted the tray full of cheese...and it hadn't taken long before the awkward atmosphere had changed into one of amusement.

"You know...this is a really good one..." The man said between bites, revealing the sizeable chunk he was chewing on to the world, making Soris and Leliana both shirk away with grimaces as the others unanimously arched eyebrows in amusement. "...a normal Denerim cheese sure, but it's _all_ about _preservation_, a nice storage space can make a cheese better then it was when it was made. You really must show me where you kept this!" He raised the seizable chunk he still held in his hand with a grin.

_Better not let him go on any longer, or it'll be dark before he finishes_..."Alistair..."

"I think that's why Antivan cheeses are so bad really, their cheeses all tastes like _fish_." Alistair grimaced. "Now Orlesians cheeses _are_ better..." He shot Leliana an apologetic look. "But there's never enough of it, they're too afraid to make it into a large chunk." The bard chuckled and shook her head, as did Lynn, they all knew Alistair's style when it came to eating, big chunks was the _rule_. "Though they have one thing, it's Qu...Qui..."

"Quince?" Leliana tried, arching an eyebrow in surprise.

"_That's_ the one!" Alistair grinned. "Sure, it's made into these _tiny_ balls that can't really fill your stomach...but Maker are they _sweet_! _You'd_ love them Sten!"

A grunt escaped the qunari, his eyes narrowing slightly at Leliana...who just shrugged and smiled back. Shaking her head Lynn put a hand on Alistair's shoulder. "Right, Alistair..."

"But the best is really Ferelden cheeses." Alistair nodded sagely at his own words, as if he was speaking with great wisdom. _Silly man_...Lynn grinned. "Amaranthine makes the best ones at that, they have this thick one made by shepherds from the northern coast that just-"

"Alistair!" Lynn grinned as she raised her voice, drawing the man out of his blabbering and look over at her, then back at the others, a slight pinkness colouring his face as he realised what he had been doing. "I'm not sure our hosts want to hear about cheese for the next two hours...and I've _already_ heard this..._twice_." The man's blush got worse at the memory, and Lynn felt her own ears heat. He had never _quite_ finished the second time...as she'd _stopped_ him.

"Oh..." Alistair swallowed the bite he'd been talking and chewing on and licked his lips, hand drumming nervously on the table. "...but..._cheese_..."

"I know..." Lynn leant forward and put her forehead against his shoulder before giving it a playful nudge, her face a huge grin. _Can't help it, sorry love_. "...I know."

Looking back up she found the man's face a deep red as he stared over at Cyrion...who had taken to imitating the man's drumming of fingers against the table as he viewed Alistair as Wynne would a new plant. Interested in its potential yet not sold on the idea that it might be all that good to keep around. "Okay...no more cheese talk..." Alistair shot her a pleading look, making Lynn smirk. _Sorry, can't help you_.

"So...cousin..." Shianni spoke, carefully, eyes slowly moving from Alistair's burgundy face to the assembled companions around the table. "...we've _heard_ of your adventures...couldn't imagine they were yours though, they just seemed so...large."

Lynn laughed, it felt _good_. "Large!? You should have _seen_ some of the creatures we've met!" Turning to Alistair she poked his shoulder with a playful twinkle in her eyes. "Remember the high dragon at Haven? Now _that's_ a tale!"

Soris, who'd so far been staring at his food looked up in shock...only to shyly look over at Leliana, or rather, her armour. "Erm...interesting...armour..."_Awww_....

"How could I forget it?" Alistair groaned, a hand coming up to pinch his nose. "If it wasn't for Wynne I would _still_ be lying there with every rib broken...nah, probably eaten."

"You like it?" Leliana was all smiles. "Oh I got this from this Dalish tribe we visited-"

Lynn chuckled. "Yes! You had me a bit worried there for a while!"

"You've met the Dalish!?"

"_Worried_!?" Alistair chuckled, forgetting his embarrassment. "You tore into that thing like the _wind_!"

Leliana nodded. "Yes, spoke to many, learnt their tales...you'd like to hear them?"

Lynn rolled her eyes at Alistair. "Hey! _You_ were the one that _literally_ shoved your shield into the thing's mouth when it was about to eat me...you _know_ wrestling a dragon the size of a small castle to the ground and beating it to death looked quiet heroic?"

"I...very much so!" Soris grinned, the fact he was speaking to a human forgotten in moments.

"Huh?" Alistair smirked. "I though _you_ were the hero here?"

"Only because _someone_ needs to be around and make sure you don't get yourself killed." Lynn stuck out her tongue at him. "Besides, with you at the helm we would all become paupers within the day, you'd give all our money away."

Alistair's smirk died. "Yeah...about that..." A hand came up, scratching the back of his head. _What are you_..._ah_..._no_..._just_..._no_. "Maybe we could..."

"No Alistair." Lynn shook her head, giving him an irritated look that lacked any real heat. _You're too sweet, but no_... "We have an army to outfit; remember? Not to mention that Leliana needs a new bow and Oghren needs to pay for the repairs of his armour..."

"Not to mention that we're running dangerously low on some fine al-"

"Shut up Oghren." Alistair and Lynn both snapped before looking back at one another, Alistair's gaze unwavering, as was Lynn's. _Don't be a generous fool, they don't need help, don't you see that_? The man shook his head. "No, it's only right, they must get something."

"Boy, that's quite unnecessary..." Cyrion muttered, frowning at the pair.

"No, no it isn't." Alistair said, a hand respectfully raised to ask for silence of the old elf as he with bowed head said. "If there's anything your daughter has taught me it is that family looks out for family, they help one another when they can." He looked back at Lynn, still not wavering. _Dammit_ _just_...Lynn wasn't sure if she was supposed to be irritated or happy with him. "Remember Goldanna?"

Groaning Lynn looked away. "Ali...that was completely different."

"No, only that it was _me_ it concerned, and the fact that these people actually _deserve_ the money." Alistair's gaze bore into her, forcing her to look back.

"Alistair I..."

"No." He shook his head. "Fifteen sovereigns." Lynn heard her father and cousins gasped, but couldn't look to see their stunned expressions as she kept staring at Alistair, seeing him hesitate a little before awkwardly smiling while nodding. "I'm putting my foot down...yes...foot is down."

A snort escaped Lynn. "Foot...down?" Alistair licked his lips in nervousness._ Oh you damn wonderful_... Lynn chuckled and reached down for her pouch, shaking her head all the way. "You're going to be the death of me..."

The sovereigns glittered in the weak lamplight as they landed on the table, the companions looking amusedly at the stunned expressions of Lynn's family as they stared at the huge amount before them. Lynn could only grin, joy flooding her. _Perhaps it was worth it_... "Well you know me, a lady killer."

_Did he just_...?

Lynn scoffed.

Then snorted.

Then laughed.

And laughed...

Seeing her family stare at her Lynn tried to wipe her tears of laughter away as she continued to laugh and pointed at a smirking Alistair. "Haha! Well...he's...haha...anything _but_...oh Maker...hahaha!" Shaking her head she tried to swallow the laugh down...and failed. "Haha! I mean..._you_?" She laughed at Alistair's feigned miffed expression. "Lady killer...bwahahaha!" Thumping the table with her fist she shook her head and held onto her twitching stomach. "Hehehe...good one..."

"You know that really hurts my man-feelings..."

The laughter began anew.

*

*

*

"We must go." Lynn muttered the words, well aware that the darkness was massing above her.

She was standing outside the door to her home. _My home_..._one of them_. Lynn felt herself smile even as a lone tear escaped her eye._ I don't want to leave_..._but duty calls_. She felt...happy. Before her her father stood, his hands in hers, his head low as hers as they said their farewells. Behind her her friends waited, with _Alistair_...Lynn almost felt as if no time had passed, that her father was just _now_ giving her away to her betrothed... _Better not tell Alistair of __that_. Lynn nearly snickered at the mental image of his face. _Or maybe I should_...

_Shouldn't_. Her amusement faded, but she hid it well, smiling. _No, there's nothing to worry about_..._don't_..._be happy_...

"I know." Her father replied, voice low as a sigh escaped him. "Always knew you were too big for this place..."

"Dada I-"

"No, no...that's a _good_ thing." He smirked at her. "As is that I barely even recognised you when you came through those doors...you've _changed_...a _lot_."

"I..." At the moment Lynn didn't feel like she had, she felt...like his daughter and nothing more...it was good. _But only an illusion_...

"Shianni said you've gotten taller...I'm bound to agree." He reached up and pushed her chin up, making her see his proud smile. "You're smiling more now..." He looked over at her shoulder, towards the others waiting, towards Alistair. "...he's made you _really_ happy hasn't he?"

"Dada I..." Lynn swallowed, hard, looking away as she nodded. _No, don't think about it_. "H-he re-really has..." _We'll be happy, we'll be_... "...h-he _is_...I k-know it might be..." _Wrong, foolish, but I_..._no_..._it'll be okay_. "...I ca-can't h-help it..." _We'll be happy_..._we __will_...

"Shh...shh..." Cyrion hushed, coming forth to hug her, making Lynn realise she was shaking. "...it'll be okay, I _like_ him...he seems to be a good man...for a human." A soft chuckle, making Lynn chuckle along with her sniffling. "I want nothing but to see you _happy_...nothing else..."

"Dada..." Lynn pulled away, not able to endure the hug any longer, restraining the shiver running through her. "...I'll come back...when we're _done_...I'll come back."

"Bring him with you." Cyrion chuckled. "I love you you know."

"Dada I..." _No_. Lynn looked away, turned, voice a pained whisper: "...I love you too."

She left, the things she wanted to say, to tell, left _unsaid_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for remaining invaluable._


	64. Chapter 64

She couldn't sleep.

Lynn had been in similar positions before. They were done, all preparations made for the vital landsmeet in the morning...now it was just a matter of rolling the dice and hoping for pairs... She _had_ been there before...yet every time before she had been able to sleep...not so this time, this time she just lay there, staring at the barely visible wall half a dozen feet away from her side of the bed.

Not that Alistair _realised_ it was her side of the bed, the man pressing up against her back, his heavy right arm draped over her chest, right under her breasts...his breathing soft against the back of her neck. Lynn didn't mind though, it was warm, comforting, safe...and _warm_...she smiled faintly and pulled his arm, and therefore him, a little closer. _I'm happy_...the smile faded..._I will __always__ be happy_.

It was an order.

_Don't worry about it, you've overcome everything so far, so why not this_? Lynn's smile returned. _Just enjoy the warmth_...

_I'm going to go crazy_.

"Alistair?"

"Hmm?" The man said, not sounding one bit sleepy. _He's worried too_..._no_..._don't think about it_. "Are you okay?"

_No_. "Yes."

Sighing Lynn put her hand over his. They were so different...even with all the marches outside Lynn's complexion was still pale compared to his...and even though she'd gotten stronger..._much_ stronger...her hand looked so..._dainty_ compared to his. His skin was rough under her palm, thin white scars covering much of his hand and arm from where blades had dug into it...hers had many of them as well, but better hidden against her fairer skin colour.

_Scarred but tough_...Lynn glanced up at her right shoulder where the jagged line made from when the shape-changed Flemeth had tore her arm off practically glowed white. Alistair's muscled one lay over hers, it was covered in small marks, the burns of acid spat at him from a spider. _Scarred but tough_...she pulled him closer and purred..._and warm_...

"I liked your family..." Alistair sighed, his chest pressing up against her back. "...they were nice."

"They liked you too, then again, who couldn't?" Lynn chuckled, her hand pressed up against the back of Alistair's hand digging its fingers in-between his. "Though I hope not _too_ much? I would be _very_ cross with you if you suddenly declared your love to Shianni." Lynn shivered. _No, don't think about it_. "She was always the pretty one..."

Alistair hesitated, about to say...something. _No, don't_. Then he just chuckled. _Thank you_. "She _was_ pretty come to think of it." _What_!? Lynn stiffened."But not beautiful like you..." A small kiss at the base of her neck and Lynn felt warmth shoot through her back...instantly relaxing her."...compared to you she's but dirt."

_I'm the flower_? Lynn blinked, then smiled. Long before she had heard many a customer tell her that...it had been mere platitudes thrown at her as they groped her. Alistair however..._he_ she could believe. _I'm the flower_... She felt herself sigh as she released Alistair's hand and instead reached over her own shoulder to dig her fingers into his hair, scratching it, feeling its texture. "Maker I love you..."

"Oh? Such a small thing draws such a response?" Alistair chuckled. "Getting soft on me are you?"

"Are _you_?" Lynn asked pointedly and shoved her back into him, making _him_ twitch.

"Lynn I..." The man moved to pull his hand back...only to have it captured by Lynn's as it immediately released his hair to hold his arm back in place. _No_. She shook her head, staring straight ahead. _No_. A sigh. "...you _really_ think your family liked me? I felt like an idiot most of the dinner..:"

_Good_. Lynn relaxed. "Even _if_ you had...do you really think the memory of you saving them from _death_ wouldn't suffice?" She could feel him cock his head to the side, no doubt pouting just a little as he considered her words. _Maker_ _I_ _love_ _you_..._I_..._I_... Swallowing she chuckled. "Besides, you can't _help_ but put people at ease, you're very...disarming."

"The charm of a fool eh?" Alistair smiled, she _felt_ it. "I bet that'll _really_ go down well with the nobles."

Lynn grimaced. _Of course he's worried too_..._he has more reason to_... "We told you, just let me do the talking unless you feel the need to say something, it'll be fine." _No_ _it_ _won't_..._shut_ _up_. "Now go to sleep." 

"Hey, _you_ woke _me_ up."

Lynn grinned, it was a pained grin however. "Liar."

"I...suppose." Alistair sighed. "Lynn...I ..." His voice trailed off, making Lynn shudder, despite the warmth pressing up against her back.

_No_.

Grabbing his hand she brought it over her chest again, this time pressing it up against her left breast...where his thumb instantly found the horizontal scar that had healed unevenly, as he always did...sending a shiver down her spine. _I'm the flower, I'm __your__ f__lower_. "The meeting is nearly at midday...we could sleep in..." _We could just miss it too, stay here, forever_...

"We really shouldn't." Alistair groaned. "Not that we have the choice, you know Eamon, he'll be knocking on the door with the sunrise."

_And I will have to be elsewhere then_...Lynn wasn't sure _why_, Eamon obviously _knew_ after all...yet they kept sneaking around him. _Is it shame_? _No it's just_..._we shouldn't be seen_..._no_..._don't think about it_..._don't_. "Ah yes, Eamon, I hope he hasn't been driving you mad with all his maps and papers and...well I still don't know what half of it is."

She felt Alistair grimace, knowing there was a reason that she didn't understand it all, an _important_ reason. _Shut up brain, it's nothing, nothing to worry about_... "It's mostly agreements, if everything goes well we have what we need to win." _Everything never goes well_. "And...well a little...he's very persistent in that I should do my duty."

"You should." _Shut_ _up_. "It's part of who we are." _No it isn't_. "Part of why I love you." _I would still love you even if you didn't do it_..._I would_..._please_... Swallowing Lynn lowered her head and took a shuddering breath. "It's done now anyway, no need to worry about it anymore." _Yes there is_...

Alistair's breath was heavy, pushing against her back as he took deep breath. "Lynn...I..."

_No_.

Lynn pressed into his hand, pushing it harder against her breast, making a gasp escape her. "Your hand are so damn rough...really ought to have Leliana help with that..."

"I thought you _liked_ them like that..." Alistair chuckled hesitantly. "..._and_ that I stayed away from Leliana for a while..."

Lynn smirked. "I do...and as for Leliana I'm not all that worried...you didn't see anything did you?"

"No." _Maker_ _I_ _actually_ _believe_ _you_..._only_ _you_...._love_...

"But you wanted to?"

"That's..." Alistair groaned. "...a very hard question to answer in one sentence..."

Lynn chuckled. "Ah, to have two heads, must be confusing at times." She reached back and down, giving him a teasing pat, making Alistair's breath hitch...before using the arm to raise their cover a bit for him. "Besides, she's got nothing on this."

Now it was Alistair's turn to chuckle, the hand on her breast coming down to press into her ridged stomach. "Sure do...Maker you're all muscles aren't you?"

"Found that out just now did you?" Lynn smirked, letting his hand play with the gentle slopes and bumps of her stomach. "Besides, so are you, so no pointing fingers." Her hand lowered the cover as it reached back to push into a stomach that might as well have been a wall of warm rocks for all it yielded to her hand. "Sooo..." The smirk got wider. "...can't sleep here...neither can you..." Her hand trailed lower...

Alistair's hand stopped playing with her stomach. _No_. "Lynn..." She paled _No_. "...I..." _No_! "...we really..."

_NO_!

Rolling towards the man Lynn's left hand smacked Alistair in the shoulder, knocking him onto his back as her hand came to rest draped over his chest, her left leg shooting up to rest over his waist as she smiled widely at him, draping herself over his body. "This bed is _really_ cosy...so warm and different from what we used to sleep...isn't it nice?"

Alistair's eyes were pained, _pained_! "Lynn..."

_No_.

Grinning wickedly Lynn let her left hand trail down along his chest as her right hand came up to draw a finger over his cheek to just behind his jaw, just the way he liked it, making him shudder. "Though I guess I liked the ground too...it was rougher..." Her left hand went lower and lower...and lower. _Ah_, _hello_ _there_... "...not that I _dislike_ this either...we can...be _rough_ here too."

Alistair sighed and looked away, shaking his head softly. "Lynn don't, not now, we need to..."

_No_!

"Look at me." Lynn slipped on top of him, pressing into his abdomen as she pushed the cover aside, her left hand holding him as the right one came up to grip his jaw and forcing him to look back up at her. She found herself glaring at the pain in the eyes looking up at her. "Don't _ever_ look away." Scooting lower she rose, put him into position...and groaned as she came back down.

_Warmth_...

Grunting Alistair closed his eyes and began to look away, looking..._pained_.

_No_!

Bending close she grasped his head with both hands and kissed him, hard, demanding. _Forcing_ his lips open, her pressing hands _forcing_ him to open his eyes, to look back into hers, she stared back, nothing but determination in her eyes. _You will __not__, you're __mine_. A rise, a drop. "Ah..."

"Lynn I..."Alistair mumbled the words even as his hand came up to hold her face, his lips darting forth to steal another kiss from her even as she began to lean back. "I have to...ah..."

_No_!

Lynn's right hand silenced him, four fingers dipping in between his lips as she straightened up, her left pressing against his chest as she steadied herself. Already feeling out of breath as Alistair's hands trailed down over her collarbones she hissed the order: "Look. At. Me." Alistair obeyed, chest heaving, eyes full of a mix of pain and pleasure. A rise, a drop. "Ah...Alistair...don't..."

_Never_...

The man tried to close his eyes, only to gasp and arch his back as Lynn came down once more, letting her fingers slip out of his mouth to trail a wet line down his throat and chest. "Ah...Lynn...I...ah..."

Staring down at him with determination she doubled her efforts, feeling extremely warm, and getting warmer, as Alistair's trailing hands found her breasts, digging into them and drawing a hiss from her. Rise, drop, rise, drop. "Don't...look away! Alistair!"

_Never leave_...

Alistair's hands went lower, grabbing her waist, holding her so tight she thought she'd break even as his eyes rolled back. "I...ah...ah...I...ah..."

Rise, drop, rise, drop. Faster, faster, faster. "Don't you _ever_ look away! Alistair!"

_Never leave me_...

"Lynn!" A strangled scream escaped Alistair even as Lynn's vision begun to fill with a white light, her entire being just...burning away.

_Never_..._leave_..._me_...

"Alistair.."

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for enduring this one._


	65. Chapter 65

"I..."

Loghain's lapdog hesitated, Lynn's question still hanging in the air of the entrance hall to the throne room and its landsmeet.

It was the first words she'd spoken since they'd woken up.

They had gotten out of bed at the same time, neither speaking a word, both strapping on armour and weapons, ready to defend themselves to the last if it came to it. Eamon had of course joined them, giving some last minute advice. Alistair had politely nodded to the words, not really listening...Lynn simply ignored them.

Lynn hadn't let any of the others join them. Eamon had advised against it last night...and Lynn didn't rightly care to bring anyone else...she was nervous enough as it was.

They had marched towards the royal palace unescorted, civilians and even soldiers scurrying away at the sight of the two. Like rats fearing the cat.

_Don't feel much like a predator right now_. Lynn watched, gaze steady, as the woman before her hesitated once more. "I..." There was only sadness left in Loghain's dog by now...who finally lowered her head in defeat. "...no...I don't believe he does...not anymore...go..." She swallowed and stepped aside, a shudder running through her. "...save Ferelden from her hero."

Nodding Lynn advanced, Alistair her silent shadow, the female knight already forgotten as they marched towards the door. _Those doors scare me_..._no_..._don't think_..._this is like any other situation. The die has been cast_..._live_..._or die_.

_Life or death_.

That helped a little, she could _handle_ that, it was something she _knew_ how to handle._ Nothing else, life or death_..._go_.

Straightening Lynn shoved the door open, her face a mask of determination._ I __am__ determined, life or death, that's it, nothing else, remember that_. A woman next to the entrance yelped and flinched away from Lynn as she advanced, Alistair her silver-armoured shadow. _Nothing_ _else_...

The room was large and spacious, the ceiling high and the sides of the rectangular room covered by a pair of large balconies that ran up two thirds of the length of the room. Further ahead the floor rose in long steps to a single throne of simple wood that to Lynn looked awfully uncomfortable, it was flanked by dark blue tapestries and a pair of large fireplaces...and wasn't much of a sight. _Then again I've seen things these nobles could hardly even dream of_...

There were a _lot_ of nobles in the throne room, more then Lynn had expected. The balconies to the sides were filled with them, as was the main floor all the way up to where the balconies ended. Lynn suddenly felt as if she was marching to her trial, she wanted to run away. _Life or death, life or death_..._you don't run from those situations_. She nearly growled at the thought. _You_ _charge_.

"Now with all you nobles assembled!" Loghain's voice called out, rough but clear, of a man used to shouting orders over battlefields as well as holding speeches. "We can finally put this matter to rest! This rebellion has cost _many_ lives! Lives better spent fighting the darkspawn!"

"To fight under _your _banner you mean!" Eamon called back, the old man had rushed ahead of Lynn and Alistair and now held a position upon the left balcony, glaring down on Loghain as he stood just before the stairs leading to the throne, as if ready to rush up and grab it if need be. "Ferelden nobles do not make a habit of bowing to men who have shown _dubious_ quality as of late!"

Loghain was armoured in his River Dane armour, a symbol of Ferelden independence, something for all to see. He was also flanked by four heavily armoured soldiers, something all _also_ saw. Most of all they could all see his determination however...the wall in his eyes, allowing no mercy or compassion...the eyes that held all nobles at bay with their sheer power. "You say that! I saw _little_ of that pride with the _Orlesians_!" Loghain glared at the assembled nobles, daring them to contradict him. "But now you say _I'm_ the dubious one!? I who have done nothing but serve Ferelden for my entire _life_!? Can _you_ say the same!?" He raised his right hand, sweeping a pointing finger at the crowd, teeth bared in a snarl. "Can _any_ of you!?"

"Yes they can!" Lynn replied, knowing she was supposed to defend the nobles after the discussion with Eamon. _Good that I'm such a good liar_... Advancing through the last of the crowd that parted before her Lynn suddenly found herself in the open...and right in front of Loghain. Forcing herself to meet the hard anger in his eyes she glared back and spoke: "Many of them lost men and family members at Ostagar, can _you_ say the same!?"

A mumble of anger arose from the nobles, she'd struck true.

"I _knew_ those men!" Loghain hissed the words, shoulders tense, his anger washing over her, nearly making Lynn take a step back. _No, never take a step back, charge_. She leant forward, meeting his anger with all the determination she could summon. "I have suffered from the loss at Ostagar!" The man reluctantly tore his gaze away from her as he let it rove over the assembled nobles. "Just as much as _any_ of you here! If not _more_! But do you see _me_ take a step back!? _No_! Do you see _me_ doubt our victory!? _No_! Or try to break away from Ferelden with my own little lands!? _No_! I am Fereldian! And I will _continue_ to be so!"

The crowd remained silent, cowed, shamed.

"Fereldian you say?" Lynn scoffed, forcing herself to sound convinced and succeeding. "Is it Fereldian to sell his own _countrymen_ to _Tevinter_ slavers!?" To the sound of surprised gasps she pulled up the agreement she'd found in the warehouse in the alienage, holding the parchment up for all to see. "_Ferelden_ elves! Sold to _Tevinter_ slavers!" The nobles' mumble began again, growing into a growl, Tevinter wasn't exactly popular in Ferelden, nor was the idea of slavery being forced upon Fereldians apparently. _Anora was right_? _Wow_..._lets build the pressure_. "Is it Fereldian to suck your countrymen dry with unjust taxes!? To give _unparalleled_ power to the crown!?" _Actually those taxes will come in handy to keep our army strong_..._but right now I'm __outraged__ at it_. Lynn narrowed her eyes at Loghain for effect.

The growl turned to loud mutter, a few raised voices drifting over the crowd, voicing their protests...mostly about the taxes. _Predictable_...Lynn directed her sneer of disgust at Loghain..._even now they only think of themselves_..._should I be surprised_?

Loghain smirked at her, apparently reading her like a book...and _applauding_ her!? Then he turned to the nobles with a sneer rivalling her own. "All I have done is to keep Ferelden strong during her time of crisis! You all _know_ this!" He then looked back down at her, eyes hard. "And why do you listen to this 'woman's' words anyway!? You've all _heard_ the tales! Wherever she goes she leaves a trail of _corpses_!" He shook his head, looking disgusted. "The circle tower becomes overrun with abominations and she just _happens_ to come and save them!? She now has the support of Maker-cursed mages that might _all_ be abominations in disguise now!" The nobles exchanged worried glances even as Lynn hesitated. _Oh_..._that's_ _clever_... "As now she made an ally with the king of Orzammar by _killing_ his competition! _Which_ of you is safe!? Not only that but she allies with the _Dalish_! People _known_ for killing humans on _sight_! Is _this_ the one you're to listen to in these troubled times!?"

The character of the muttering changed, became _dangerous_...

Lynn shook her head, her shout coming out as a growl: "I _saved_ lives! Turned _enemies_ into _friends_ and preserved the _greatest_ weapon Ferelden has against the blight!" She shook her head again, furiously. "What have _you_ done that compares!? Only made enemies! Only torn the country apart! You dare judging me!? I who have found _allies_ against the blight, instead of more _enemies_!?"

The muttering became uncertain, the nobles torn between the argument. _Dammit_..._this_ _isn't_ _going_ _as_ _well_ _as_ _I'd_ _hoped_._ Come on you indecisive cowards_...

"Ah yes." Loghain grinned, a _dangerous_ grin. "Let's speak of those 'allies' of yours!" Lynn was suddenly very happy none of the others were with her. "A circle mage that may or may not be an _abomination_! Like the _other_ mages you 'saved'!" Loghain raised a finger as he begun counting. "A dwarf exiled from his _own_ kind for his _dishonourable_ conduct!" Another finger. "A _mute_!" A third finger and a small gesture for Alistair, drawing a small chuckle from the crowd even as the man remained impassive, eyes like stone as they glared back at the man. "An apostate and witch of the wilds!" The fourth finger rising along with gasps, _many_ had heard of it no doubt...but to hear it _now_ was a different thing apparently. "A qunari! A race _known_ to have ambitions to conquer all of _Thedas_!" A fifth finger. "And not only that..." The eyes of the man narrowed, his grin turning into a sneer as he clenched the fist. "...but an _Orlesian_!"

The muttering was rising to a crescendo, dangerous and worried.

_No_!

Lynn saw the only opportunity she had, and took it. Scoffing loudly she raised her hands in a dejected gesture: "Ah yes! The _Orlesian_! _Surely_ this is one great plot of them to take over Ferelden!" She snorted and glared at Loghain, seeing the glint in his eyes. _Maker_..._he_ _actually_ _believes_ _that_! "Tell me Loghain! How many _Fereldians_ have the _Orlesians_ killed these last few weeks!? How _many_!? _None_!?" Turning she held her hands out towards the crowd, head held high before them, proud, decisive. _I __am__, life or death_..._keep it up_..._don't think_. "And how many have died to the _blight_!? A blight you have _yet_ to do _anything_ about!"

The muttering grew in loudness, the glares of the nobles were hostile, and aimed at _Loghain_...a silent accusation, all of them having lost subjects and perhaps even family members to the darkspawn now flooding into the Bannorn.

"Which is _exactly_ why we should stand united!" Loghain replied, glaring back at the crowd, forcing them backwards with the sheer force of his person. "No more rebellions! No more doubts and second guesses! We must stand _united_ or we will _die_!"

"United? _Yes_! Under you? _No_!" Lynn whirled back, eyes boring into Loghain...who _nearly_, but _not_ _quite_, took a step back. _Don't hesitate, life or death, don't hesitate, life or death...don't_... Taking a deep breath Lynn made a quick gesture at Alistair, not wanting the nobles to see how much her arm shook. _Just do it_! "Behold! The last of the Theirin bloodline! Your _king_!"

The muttering ceased, completely. The only sound in the hall that of the shuffling of feet as some nobles moved to kneel...only to hesitate and straighten...unsure...afraid.

"Ah yes, the last of the Theirins!" Loghain scoffed before the silence was allowed to become too long and shot the nobles closest to kneeling a sharp look before managing a smirk. "The _mute_!" There were a few laughs, but they were forced and unsure. "A chantry _boy_! A _failed_ templar!" He shook his head and glared at Lynn. "Not to mention the puppet of an elven _harlot_!" Lynn couldn't help it, she took a step back. It wasn't so much the accusation itself as it was the _heat_ of Loghain's words that forced her back...the pure _hatred_ aimed at her. "Tell me Lynn Tabris! Do you _enjoy_ being with him!? Or is it just another step to the _crown_!?"

Feeling the colour drain from her face Lynn reached back, hand instantly finding Alistair's chest, holding him back as he took an angry step forward.

Behind her the silence was deafening.

Shaking his head, Loghain shot her a final look of pure hatred before remembering the nobles and turning to them: "Is this the one you want on the throne!? A man that's the puppet of an elven _whore_!? How long before she puts an elf into every position of power!? _How_ _long_!?" He raised a hand, forcing the now muttering nobles into silence once more, his eyes steady. "She killed a noble in Denerim and was _rewarded_ with becoming a warden! What reward might she think she'll reap if she kills anyone of _you_!? She even killed a defenceless little _boy_! So how safe are your _children_ from her!?"

_Maker_...Lynn swallowed, her tongue suddenly feeling too thick for her mouth.

"To become a warden is no reward, you know this." Eamon's voice was steady, calm, despite the way the situation was spinning out of control. The old man shook his head. "And my son...she has been forgiven for that...she..." He took a deep breath, every eye of the throne room focused on him. "...I think she suffers more for his death then I do...yet she stands here...she lets _herself_ suffer so _others_ may not...you remember that time Loghain? When _you_ did so?" _Eamon_ _I_...Lynn didn't know what to say, she remained silent as Eamon lowered his head, looking even older all of a sudden.

To Lynn's surprise Loghain hesitated, the soft words making the regent take a step back, his hard eyes softening even as the crowd continued their muttering, confused and torn between loyalties and arguments.

It wouldn't be enough though.

Lynn stiffened, hearing the voices behind her argue and debate...the majority were not speaking _for_ her cause though. Loghain hesitated for another moment, still staring at Eamon, then smiled as he looked back at Lynn, his voice clear: "I believe it's time for a vote..." _No_...Lynn's hand moved towards her sword as she felt Alistair prepare himself behind her. _Together_ _then_...she managed a weak smile.

"I have yet to speak!" Lynn nearly jumped at the words, seeing Loghain twitch in surprise as he turned to look at the crowd behind her. Turning Lynn found Anora walk down the middle of the room, the crowd parting before her like the sea before a ship. The woman was dressed in regal blue as always, head held high, stance perfect, that of the queen. "Apologies for the late arrival, I was held back...by my father's men." A murmur of confusion arose from the crowd, a crowd Anora ignored as she slowly walked through them and headed towards Lynn's side. "Good day to you warden." Anora smiled and bowed her head at Lynn even as she stood next to her, _opposite_ Loghain, the message couldn't be clearer.

Nodding back Lynn looked over at Loghain...whose face was expressing a great mix of emotions. Horror, shock, confusion..._pain, _muchpain.

Pointedly ignoring her father, or perhaps unable to meet his eyes, Anora turned towards the assembled nobles, eyes friendly, but full of regret, noble. _Viper_... "Nobles of Ferelden! You have been mislead! I have been a prisoner of my father's! A father I no longer recognise!" Lynn noted a slight twitch in Anora's hands as she spoke the words, but that was it.

"Anora I..."

Ignoring Loghain's words Anora continued: "He sees Orlais wherever he looks! Plots and conspiracies! Many of you have felt this _already_!" A murmur of assent, making Lynn blink. _I didn't know of this_..._why didn't she tell me_? "He ignores the _blight_! And he ignores the plight you are _all_ in as he makes plans that involves sacrificing maybe so much as half of you!" The murmur turned into a mutter. "He has _forsworn_ his right to rule by his actions and should be deposed!" Smiling faintly the woman looked over at the still impassive Alistair, making Lynn's stomach roll with disgust. "Instead we with a _right_ to the throne shall rule, together."

_I think I'm going to throw up_...

The muttering rose, feet stomping the floor in assent, agreeing with Anora's speech. _Victory_. Turning Lynn looked over at Loghain, feeling no real triumph at the sight of Loghain having paled, staring at his daughter with such _horror_...as if she'd turned into a demon before his very eyes. The stomping just grew... "Anora I..." The man shook his head, lower lip trembling, all rage...gone out of him.

The stomping grew, and grew...shaking the room.

_Victory_..._such bitter-sweet victory_. Lynn grimaced.

"No!" Loghain's cry cut through the room, silencing the stomping of feet instantly. The man shook, head bowed as his hand curled into fists, shaking with _rage_. "This is unacceptable! None of you have given as much to Ferelden as _I_ have! None of you have a _say_ in this! I _will_ save Ferelden! Even if I have to _climb_ over the dead of its citizens to do so!" Lynn swallowed, a sense of dread rolling over her as she noticed just how _many_ soldiers there were around all of a sudden...covering the exit, near the balconies, around Loghain...

Anora took a step forward. "Father I'm tryi-"

"No!" Loghain shook his head furiously, refusing to look at the woman as he held out a hand against her, stopping her. "This is idiocy!" His eyes narrowed into mere slits, the fire of rage to the point of madness glowing through them as he glared at the nobles before him. "Nobles _indeed_! You are nothing but greedy opportunists thinking of nothing but your own! You are not _worthy_ to be in this hall! _No_ vote of a traitor is _acceptable_! And you are _all_ traitors by going against the _crown_!" He raised his hand, ready to command the attack, ready to turn everything into a bloodbath as the crowd looked around themselves in growing panic...

"So Ferelden law means nothing to you then?" Alistair's low voice cut through the growing sound of panic, silencing everyone. Looking back at the man Lynn found him ignoring her, eyes steady as he glared at Loghain. "All decisions are made by the crown then?"

"Ah...the puppet speaks." Loghain taunted with an arched eyebrow and lowered his arm, grinning at Alistair.

Alistair didn't answer, his gaze level, waiting for an answer.

Loghain's eyes narrowed, watching the bastard prince with renewed interest."Ferelden law means nothing when it's used to do _wrong_ boy, remember that." Loghain scoffed.

"And that's for _you_ to decide?" Alistair replied, his voice nearly a whisper. "For the crown? You wish to be made _emperor_? Have we become _Orlais_?"

Even as the crowd begun to mutter at the calm words Loghain gasped, eyes widening in anger:"You dare-"

"Or doesn't the ruler answer to Ferelden law any longer, as a Ferelden ruler should?" Alistair spoke calmly, so calmly it was eerie, making Lynn tremble. His eyes were nothing but pools of determination, lakes of a deceptive peace. "_Any_ law?" His hand drifted to his side, to rest upon the pommel of his sword.

Loghain hesitated, then smirked. "That sounds decidedly like a challenge boy...do you even _know_ that law?"

"Death or yield, victor takes all." Alistair spoke calmly, no growl, no anger, _calm_. "I had a good teacher." He cocked his head to the side, just a little, regarding Loghain as the regent considered his options. "Or you could slaughter everyone here, turn their families against you and become known as the one who destroyed Ferelden in a single day."

Loghain's smirk turned into a grin. "My, my, has the pup grown some _teeth_?" He squared his shoulders. "Very well, I'll enjoy cutting that insolence out of you." Turning he gestured for the soldiers flanking him to step aside as one of them scurried over to hand him his sword and shield. "When you're ready."

_Maker_ _they_ _can't_..._but_ _that's_... Quickly dashing over to him Lynn bowed her head close as she whispered. "That's the hero of River Dane you just challenged! He's...make me your champion or something!" _Don't_ _die_. "I'm more expendable and you still have a chance of-"

"No." Alistair cut in, not taking his eyes off Loghain as the man turned to face him. "You are _not_, and I _won't_ make you my champion, this is _my_ fight." He shoved his helmet into her stomach.

"Alistair..." Lynn looked down at the silver helmet and its blue plume with horror. "...why aren't you...Maker at least-"

"No." Alistair answered, regarding Loghain's bare head with narrowed eyes. "This'll be fair, justice _will_ be done."

"You're being..." _Stupid, foolish, idiotic, boneheaded_... Lynn looked away, her breaths shuddering. "...I just...don't...he's..." _He's the regent, the hero of River Dane, the legendary warrior with accomplishments that takes days to recite_... "...just let me champion you and I'll..."

A small pressure of Alistair's hand against her chin made her look up, finding the man offering her a miniscule smile. "I'll be right back." Then he looked away from her, his smile gone, his calm fading away, turning into something else... "For Ferelden." Then he was marching forward, sword and shield drawn, as if they'd _always_ been in his hands...and dropped into a practised defensive stance in front of Loghain, the regent mirroring the move.

Lynn stared at them, the two warriors just standing there, a mere four feet separating them as they weighted each other up...and realised something...

In many ways they were similar. _Both_ wore armour silver in colour, both suits with great stories of how they'd been taken behind them, one which a nation knew, one that only Alistair and Lynn really knew. _Both_ carried thick shields shimmering with enchantments, one that of a golden dragon, the other that of a tower atop a mountain of blood. _Both_ carried swords glowing with power, weapons that for ages had been used to defend the people of Ferelden. They were her champions...now poised against one another.

She also realised that Alistair couldn't lose.

It was strange. Loghain was the Teyrn of Gwaren, the regent of Ferelden, the defeater of Orlais, the victor at River Dane, the hero of Ferelden, the king-maker, the impassable wall, the champion of the common man, the dream of bards, the foundation of Ferelden... His titles and honorifics were many..all well known...all deserved of a man that was larger then life itself.

None knew Alistair's though, not as _she_ did. He was the champion of Redcliffe, the killer of darkspawn, the champion of the lost cause, the slayer of dragons, kindness made flesh, the warden of the people, the warden of her heart....

And at the moment he was righteous fury incarnate.

His eyes bore into Loghain's, and the great hero was suddenly nothing but an old man, turning his eyes aside, defeated before the duel had even begun.

A moment more they just stood there...

And then Alistair moved, a darting thrust aimed at Loghain's face, parried upwards by Loghain's shield....there was no room for recovering though as Alistair's own shield, held horizontally, smashed into the raised shield of his foe with the power of a battering ram, making Loghain take half a stumbling step backwards to the gasps of the until now silent crowd.

'The impassable wall' had been cracked with a single blow.

Another thrust followed, crashing into the raised shield of Loghain's so hard the man took another stumbling step backwards. Then Alistair's shield swung about, hooking it into the edge of his foe's he pulled, hard...making Loghain loose his balance and stumble forward instead.

The old man barely avoided being skewered as he passed Alistair, instead he only grunted as the low swing of Alistair's opened a great hole in his breastplate around the abdomen, spilling red blood over his legs. Turning around as he got free of the pulling shield Loghain put his own in readiness, not yet ready to admit defeat.

But the champion of the common man was no victor any longer.

Alistair lowered his weapons as he advanced against Loghain, his eyes afire with the just barely controlled fury. Lynn couldn't meet those eyes...and neither could Loghain as he with a grunt lunged for the exposed face of his foe.

Alistair took a step to the left, his suddenly raised shield swinging, catching Loghain's sword and pushing it past his right...quickly followed by a backhand sweep that with a crash smashed Loghain's shoulder-guard off.

Coughing Loghain ducked away and retreated up towards the throne, trying to make use of the high ground as Alistair inexorably advanced upon the man, his weapons once more lowered, all but his eyes, eyes boring into Loghain, killing the man slowly but surely. Loghain's eyes widened, a flicker of fear in them all of a sudden.

The foundation of Ferelden was falling.

A grunt and Loghain swung at Alistair's head with his sword...only to have it deflected by a quick shield. Another grunt and Loghain swung the sword in a backhand attack against Alistair's sword-arm...only to have it parried by a sword faster than quicksilver. A third grunt and the man swung his shield at Alistair's face, hoping to smash aside those killing eyes...

Alistair ducked, caught the shield with his own and shoved it forward so he could grip Loghain by the throat...then thrust his sword past Loghain's right foot so he could wrap his arm around it...and with a grunt of his own threw the hero of Ferelden down the stairs.

A loud crash and a crack...and Loghain came to lie prone on the floor, a pained hiss escaping him as he struggled for breath. "I...you..._are_ Maric's son..." Loghain grunted, not bothering to reach for his dropped weapons as his left hand came to clasp at the wound over his abdomen and the other pushed up against the floor, helping him up to his knees. The man's breath was rattling, his face pale...but oddly peaceful. "I surrender, it'll be good to put an end to this...and know you're here to lead. Maric told me a man is defined by the quality of his enemies...I suppose that's true."

Anora, who until now had remained pale and silent took a step forward...only to freeze as Alistair tossed his shield aside and raised the free hand to order silence.

His steps down the stair were slow and solemn, his face a hard mask. _So_ _different_... "Loghain Mac Tir." Even his voice was..._different_. "By the power of Ferelden..." He looked up, eyeing the nobles with steady eyes. _Different_... "...and before all the witnesses here..." He raised his sword. "...I sentence you to death."

"No!" Alistair stopped his advance as Anora ran forth, falling onto her knees next to Loghain as she drapped herself over his chest protectively, eyes wide, searching...and finding...Lynn. "You can't! He...we..." Lynn shrugged, Alistair had been right, they now had what they wanted, there was no need to honour their deal. Anora's eyes grew even wider, her face paling. "You can't!"

"Anora...shh...shh...it is well..." Loghain whispered, a small smile on his lips, eyes soft, all anger having gone out of them. He raised an armoured hand to run through Anora's hair, finger finding one of the buns she had tied it in and following its outline with surprising gentleness. "...it is _over_..."

Anora whipped her head and glared at her father, eyes narrowed. "Don't you _dare_ talk like that you old goat!" An amused chuckle escaped Loghain even as she whipped her head back around and stared up at the impassive Alistair, eyes pleading. "_Please_! He's just a...he can't _do_ anything anymore!" She shook her head, blinking furiously as tears begun to run down her face. "Mercy! A king knows _mercy_! Please! Don't start a reign with another death! He's not..._please_!"

Alistair hesitated, making Lynn shake her head in a mix of amusement and amazement. _You kind fool_... "No." Alistair shook his head, slowly, solemnly, a glint of compassion in his eyes. "Mercy without justice is worthless, a weakness. There can be _no_ mercy today."

Anora just stared at him in horror, shaking her head. "I...we're supposed to..." She whipped her head over to Lynn: "This was _not_ our deal!" To her surprise Lynn actually felt a jab of guilt at the pained eyes staring back at her, but a glance at Alistair was enough to calm her. The _king_ was right.

"Anora." The woman looked back at Loghain, the man offering her a small smile. "Live." The woman flinched at the simple command, then, sniffling, rose to her feet and stepped aside. "That's my girl..." Looking back at Alistair Loghain remained on his knees as he raised his chin, eyes steady. "Do it as you please."

Alistair glanced at Lynn, then Anora, eyes betraying none of his thoughts...then back down at Loghain, eyes hard. "Fast."

Loghain closed his eyes, a small smile on his lips. "That is...kind of you."

Silence.

Then Alistair was next to Loghain, his sword buried through the man's breastplate and chest in a straight angle, the blade going right for Loghain's heart.

A gasp.

The regent's eyes fluttering up in pain.

And the hero of Ferelden was dead.

"_No_!" Anora's shriek rang through the throne room as the woman slipped to her knees, eyes wide as she stared at Loghain's body as Alistair gently pulled out his sword and laid the body onto its side. "Nonononono...!" She shook her head, threads of her hair loosening from her bun, throwing her hair wildly over her shoulder. "That's..._no_!"

Alistair sighed as he sheathed his sword, head held high as he looked over the nobles staring at him, then Anora...before settling on a couple of soldiers. His voice was clear, the fury gone, replaced by such a..._calm_. "Take the former regent's body and-"

"_No_!" Anora's shiek rang out a second time, the woman flying to her feet. "I am _still_ the queen!" She whirled about and, pointing at Alistair, glared at the two nearest soldiers: "Kill him! Arrest him! _Now_!" Her voice cracked as she shrieked the orders.

The two soldiers exchanged looks, hesitated.

"What are you _waiting_ for!? Do as I command!" Anora clutched at her stomach and visibly wavered where she stood, her tear-streaked face torn into a grimace of pain and rage. "Seize him! Do it _now_!" The shriek turned into a cracked sobbing as the woman kept glaring at the soldiers.

The two soldiers glanced at one another again, shifting from foot to foot, nervous.

Then Alistair spoke, calm, in control, a _king_. "Soldiers." The pair looked up at him, eager to heed him. "Take her to the tower. She's not to be harmed."

"What!? _No_!" Anora whirled to glare at Alistair even as the soldiers moved, moving to obey _his_ order, the order of their _king_. "You _can't_ do that!" Two pair of armoured gauntlets seized her by the arms and shoulders, stopping her as she tried to advance on the impassive Alistair. "I..._no_!" They pulled her back, towards the crowd...a crowd that silently parted as the pair of soldier dragged the kicking and screaming Anora away. "_No_! This isn't...no! I will..._no_! _NO_!"

The door slammed shut behind the soldiers and their prisoner.

_He_...Lynn could only stare as Alistair stood there, hands to his side, head held high, calm and proud eyes looking at the assembled nobles, regarding them, waiting. _He_..._I_ _can't_...

Silence, not a sound escaping a single noble, all staring at Alistair as he patiently waited for them.

Then Eamon moved.

The old man slipped onto one knee, hands resting on the other...and bowed his head.

Silence.

A second noble moved, knelt.

Then a third.

A soldier.

Another noble.

A ripple moved through the crowd as, both on the balconies and the main floor...nobles and soldiers alike moved to kneel in the dirt.

Before _him_, before _Alistair_. Alistair the _king_.

Even Lynn, the rebellious elf who remained defiant against any power... feeling as if her heart would burst with pride, her breathing shallow as she nearly laughed with relief and happiness for him....fell onto one knee, unable to stop herself.

In moments Alistair was the only one standing.

Alistair took a step forward, she could hear him take a deep breath, to prepare for the plunge...but he was _ready_ for it, she _knew_ it. "Nobles." His voice echoed over the hall, loud and clear, deprived of hesitation or fear, the voice of a king. "Warriors." He looked over the assembled nobles and soldiers, wherever his gaze fell they looked up, feeling his gaze upon them...and unable to stop themselves from meeting it. "Defenders of Ferelden..." All heads were raised now, looking at him, eyes wide. "...we march."

The roar was deafening.

As one the nobles got to their feet, fists raised, feet stomping into the floor in agreement. All now _his_ nobles, _his_ warriors, _his_ defenders. Lynn, slowly getting to her feet, felt her heart nearly thump through her chest as she with laboured breath stared at Alistair. _You did it_. _You really did it_. She smiled, the small laugh escaping her disappearing in the sheer _noise_ the cheering nobles made. _You did it. I can't believe it_... She was only dimly aware of herself crying, too happy, too _proud_ for words.

Lynn saw Alistair meet the cheers of the nobles with a head held high, saw his stance, proud and noble...that of a king. Saw his eyes, full of pride, righteousness, nobility, calm...the eyes of a king. _You did it_...Lynn grinned, more tears of relief and happiness escaping her. _You really did it_...

Then she saw him turn his head, saw a flicker of something else in his eyes as he glanced over at her, saw something that chilled her blood.

She saw regret.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for sticking around._


	66. Chapter 66

"So he grabs Loghain and just hauls him to the floor! Like he weighed nothing!" Lynn exclaimed while gesturing along with her tale.

They were in the kitchen of Eamon's estate, the others having impatiently waited for the pair's return and tale of what had happened. Of course Lynn had been the only one to return, Alistair being busy with taking the oaths of his noblemen and to socialise with them. Lynn had run off though, all too willing to share the _great_ news! Currently the rest of the group were staring at her with a...confusing mix of emotions.

"That boy is the king now?" Wynne muttered, shaking her head with a small smile. "That will take some time getting used to..."

"And so Ferelden was doomed." Morrigan chuckled from her corner of the room, then went silent as she met Lynn's scowl with a little smirk.

The scowl couldn't endure though, the smile cracking through, _forcing_ its way through. "Loghain's dead! Alistair's the king! Come on! Show some enthusiasm!" She waved her arms upwards, wanting nothing but a _cheer_! Some sort of _celebration_! She'd settle for a smile and a hug! "We've _won_! Be _happy_!"

"Oh we _are_." Leliana smiled widely, the bard sitting on the large dinning table, feet resting on a chair, the smile swiftly faded though. "It's only...have you perhaps..." The woman licked her lips, shyly looking at Lynn's blank face.

"What?" Lynn asked, grinning, oblivious.

_We won_! _We're_ _happy_! _Why_ _aren't_ _the_ _others_ _cheering_!? _This is great news_!

"Well...uh...warden..." Oghren muttered as he leant over the table with one arm, the other slowly drawing a finger along the edge of his still full mug of ale. He wasn't meeting her eyes. "...I'm no expert on surfacer politics or anything...but..." He drifted off, a grimace under his beard.

"What?" Lynn repeated, all grins, oblivious.

_We've won_! _Now we have an army and_..._Maker, Alistair's the king! __My__ king_...

"Oh deary me..." Wynne muttered, looking over at Morrigan with a look encouraging the witch to speak.

Morrigan shrugged, looking...uncertain? Lynn blinked in surprise, the others as well. Hesitating the witch opened her mouth to speak...then looked over at the others: "Leliana?"

"What!?" Lynn asked with a grin, a short laugh escaping her. _Odd_..._I don't remember my laugh sounding like that_...

_They act so odd_..._there's nothing wrong, nothing_...

"Well it's just..." The bard hesitated, looked away. _What's __wrong__ with them_!? "You're.." She drifted off. "Umm...a little help here?"

The others just shuffled where they stood or sat, not one of them meeting Lynn's eyes.

"Seriously, what?" Lynn sighed, still grinning despite the jab of irritation she felt with the others reluctance to speak._ I'm so happy_..._all is coming into place_..._Maker this is great_! "I don't have all day guys." _Why don't __they__ see it_? _Surely this is what we've been working for so long_...

No one answered, all looking away, not even _Morrigan_ meeting her gaze.

_I_ _don't_..._this_ _doesn't_...Lynn hesitated, shuddered. _I_..._can't_ _they_...

With a creak the door opened behind her.

Turning she found Alistair standing in the doorway. He was...taller then she remembered him, as if the mere assumption of his title had made him grow an extra inch. _A true king_. His head was held high, calm, proud, regal, kingly. _A great_ _king_. His eyes were surprisingly hard, resolute, determined, those of a king. _My king_. The eyes saw her, _only_ her, and she smiled. _My own king_...

Lynn's smile turned into a grin. "Alistair! Thank goodness you're here!" She rushed forward, hands reaching for Alistair's face, to hold him, to kiss him. "These dullards can't-"

Her hands never reached him, her wrists suddenly caught in the vices that were his hands, his eyes boring into her, hard, merciless.

Her legs turned to jelly.

_No_...

His eyes never left hers as he spoke to the others, voice clipped, a growl: "Leave us."

Lynn shook her head, slowly, feeling herself go cold. No one spoke a word though, raised any protest, came to her _help_...they all silently rose...and left the room, Morrigan throwing a last indecipherable look back before closing the door behind Alistair's intimidating presence.

Leaving them alone.

_No_..._I_..._no_...

"I will leave with the army for Redcliffe, to gather our allies and the forces of the Bannorn." Alistair's voice was hard, cold, emotionless.

And Lynn's was small, a whimper. "O-okay..."

"You will take the others and find the darkspawn army so that we can engage it."

"O-okay." Lynn swallowed, looking into Alistair's eyes, trying to find..._something_.

All she found was a wall. "Lynn...it's over."

Lynn blinked, confused, the words not making sense. "O-over? I...I don't...wh-what are you..." She tried to look away, tried but failed. Her arms shook, trying to reach Alistair's face...and failing. "Al-Alistair?"

_No_...

"You know." There was a hint of emotion in the eyes, nothing more.

"I d-don't..."

"You've known for days now." Alistair released her arms...that limply fell to her sides. "We can't..." He took a deep breath, his mouth a thin line. "...this can't go on, not any longer."

"I...we...wh-what a-are..." Lynn blinked, feeling light-headed.

_No_...

Alistair finally looked away, his shoulders slumping, regret in his eyes. "We're through."

_No_!

Lynn took a shaky step backwards, all colour draining from her face, lip trembling. "I...y-you can't be...it..." She was falling, darkness surrounding her, pulling her downwards into an abyss...

Despair.

Her hand found the table, not a second too late as she slumped backwards into it...barely avoiding falling to the ground. "...we...y-you....Al-Alistair?"

Alistair was looking down at the ground, his hands at his sides, face pale...but set. "You..." A deep breath. "Yo-you wouldn't..._let_ me tell you...I..."A sigh escaped him as he looked up at her, the mask of resolve crumbling. "I'm...sorry."

"S-sorry?" _It's not fair_... Lynn blinked, then doubled over, gasped, feeling as if she'd been punched. "Sorry..." _Not_ _fair_.. She slipped off the table...nearly fell...then straightened as her eyes narrowed. _It's not fair_! "_Sorry_!?"

"Lynn..." Alistair shook his head, eyes pained. "...don't-"

"Sorry!? You're sorry!?" Lynn took a step forward, jabbing a finger towards the man. "You're _sorry_!? Tell me, is this a _punishment_ for making you king!?"

"Lynn I-"

"Or do you just feel that you no longer _need_ me now!?"

Alistair groaned and looked away. _Bastard_... "You know that's not the reason...I...it's not...if I had the option I would never leave you..."

_Shut up_! Lynn rushed forward...and swung.

The crack of her fist striking Alistair's open palm resounded through the room.

For a moment they just stood there, Alistair's hand closed around hers, two feet away from the jaw she wanted nothing but to...to...she felt hers shoulders slump, she didn't know anymore.

She glared at him. He just looked back at her, face coloured with regret. _Bastard_...

"So it all meant nothing?" She swallowed, realising her tears were pouring, unwilling to stop. "The _rose_...the _figurine_...all we've _done_...it's..._nothing_?"

Alistair shook his head, regretful. _Bastard_... "Of course not...I...it still..." He took a deep breath, shoulders shaking. "...keep them..._please_..."

"_Why_?" She choked the word, unable to raise her voice all of a sudden, her throat thick. _I_..._no_..._I hate you_..._why_!? "Why _now_?" A sob exploded her, despite her attempt to be angry. "_Why_...?"

"You know why." Alistair released her hand and lowered his arm, hers doing the same, unable to lift it any longer. Shaking his head he looked away, voice small, full of regret. "So many whys..." He took a step back, head leaning back against the wall behind him, eyes closed, hiding him from her. "You know they'd never accept you..."

"You..." Lynn took a step back, a hand reaching for her throat, vainly trying to keep back the choked sob. "...racist bastard..."

"Lynn...it's not I..."

_I_ _know_. Lynn closed her eyes, hard, coming back to sit on the table, the hand closing around her throat, trying to keep the grief down...it didn't work...another sob exploding out of her. "Bastard..." _Maker, I know_...

"We...there can't be any cause for unrest, not now, you know this..."

Hope.

"N-not _now_?" Lynn's eyes flew open, a pained grin on her lips, _pleading_.

Alistair shook his head, not able to meet her gaze.

Despair.

"No Lynn, just...no..." Alistair's voice shook. "D-do you remember the talk we had after Lothering?"

_I_..._no_..._you're_ _not_ _talking_ _about_...

"It's unlikely I can _have_ children..." _No_. "...and the nation _needs_ an heir..." _No_. "...and _you_..." _No_. "...even _if_ it would be accepted by the nobles...there's just no way..." _No_!

Lynn gasped, feeling as if she'd been punched again as she doubled over, a hand clutching her abdomen. She'd never seriously considered children, never _really_, except perhaps the odd fancy as of late...but _now_...she suddenly felt _barren_, dead inside..._useless_. "I...yo-you...b-but..."

"Yes..." Alistair swallowed, a grimace on his face. "...I'll have to marry someone...fertile."

_No_...

_No_!

Shaking her head she stumbled onto her feet, a desperate smile on her face. "B-but that wo-wouldn't me-mean anything ri-right? I me-mean it's just...p-politics...r-right?" She stumbled forward, catching herself Alistair's chest, driving him back into the wall as she stared up at him through the fuzzy film covering her eyes, her lips trembling as she smiled. "W-we co-could st-still...ri-right? It's..."

"Lynn I..." Alistair swallowed, a hand coming up to push her hair back. "...don't...tempt me..."

"B-but i-it's ju-just...it's n-not..." Lynn trembled, her hands sliding up Alistair's chest to grasp his face as she rose to her toes to kiss him...

Only to find his hands on her shoulders, pushing her down, grinding her into the dirt, throwing her back into the abyss of despair as he shook his head. "I...it's not fair..I...can't make you into something you're not. You're not a whore Lynn...you never will be."

She flinched, looked away, a sob exploding out of her. "B-but th-this...o-other wo-woman...she'd just...I me-mean..."

"I...can't do that to her either...I can't Lynn..." The hands on her shoulder came up to hold her neck, clutching at her. "...I can't..." His forehead came to rest upon hers, his breathing ragged as it brushed against her face. "...I _can't_."

"Bu-but you d-don't ev-en..." Lynn closed her eyes, the rest of her sentence drifting away as her chest shook with sobs. "...d-damn yo-you...da-damn yo-your ki-kindness...yo-your br-breaking my h...h..." She swallowed, sobbed...and swallowed again, the room spinning around her. "...he-heart..."

"Lynn I..." A chocked sob escaped Alistair, his shoulders shaking. "...I'll _always-_"

"_No_!" Lynn pulled back, hands coming up to parry his words. "Don't say it! Damn you!" She lowered her arms, tears streaking her face. "You have no _right_ to say it!" She was dimly aware that she was shrieking, that she was trembling, that she couldn't really _see_ anything anymore...only Alistair, her love, with an expression of utter grief on his face. "You have no _right_!"

He shook his head, an air of defeat heavy over him. "I'll always love..."

_Crack_!

He didn't move to parry it this time...and Lynn's fist moved to solidly connect with his jaw. He turned his head away from the force of the impact, blood appearing in the corner of his lips as Lynn's knuckle struck true.

_Alistair's blood_... Lynn felt rather than saw herself slip to her knees...spent.

"...you."

She gasped, something within her...withering..._dying_.

_No_..._I_..._no_..._I_..._don't_..._hurts_...

"Get out..."

_Hurts_...

"Lynn I-"

"Get _out_!" She shot to her feet, wobbled where she stood...and pulled away from Alistair as he tried to help her. "Get _out_!" The shriek didn't belong to her voice, it was that of someone else, someone in too much pain, too much to imagine. "Get _out_!" Her body moved to grab a chair...blindly throwing it in Alistair's direction.

_Hurts_...

A crash and a grunt. "Lynn please, I didn't-"

_Hurts_...

"Get _out_! Get _out_! Get _out_!" Her body threw another chair, the voice not belonging to her cracking with the loud shrieks. "_Get_ _out_! _Get_ _out_! _Get_ _out_!"

_Hurts_...

"Lynn-"

"_GET_ _OUT_!" Her body grabbed the table, heaved it against him, sending it crashing to the floor.

A pained sigh, a creak...a click...and she was alone.

_Alone_...

She fell, the darkness claiming her, driving her to her knees.

_Hurts_...

Her hands came up protectively over her chest, vainly trying to ward of the pain in her heart.

_Hurts_...

Her head was lowered, eyes closed, fearing the loneliness surrounding her.

_Hurts_...

She trembled, afraid of the despair closing in around her, _crushing_ her.

_It hurts_...

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for surviving._


	67. Chapter 67

Their camp had gotten smaller.

With Zevran dead and the oh so mighty king Alistair Theirin leading his army to Redcliffe the group had greatly diminished in size...and mood. Morrigan sighed, surprised that she cared that much about it...but there it was...she didn't _like_ the changes.

Leliana's songs, however annoying, didn't softly whisper across the camp any longer. The bard remained silent, focused on the warden in the distance. Wynne didn't come with any useless advices or stories, she didn't even scowl at Morrigan any longer, instead she just stared into the fire they'd made, face unreadable. Oghren was also staring into the fire, scowling, _sober_...gaze heavy with old memories. Only Sten remained standing, the qunari looking for any threat as always, but he made no move to do his patrol, he remained close to the group...as if guarding them.

_Foolishness_...Morrigan snorted, a small sound barely audible over the crackling of the fire before her as she jabbed it with her staff, uncaring of the flames licking the arcane weapon. _Yes, foolishness_..._it's just the warden's business, not ours_. Yet here she was, sitting _with_ the others for the first time since they'd begun their journey, unwilling to stay alone for once...alone with her thoughts.

They had already found the darkspawn army, the horde moving towards the filthy Denerim the Fereldian's seemed to value so much. _That_ wasn't what made the group so silent though, they were used to crises by now, the silence was for another reason...Morrigan's gaze drifted over to Lynn.

Lynn almost reminded Morrigan of herself, the elf sitting _apart_ from the group, in the shadows of a tree, her back against them as she ate, _alone_. Or...since she probably had finished already...just sat there...unwilling to share the company of others...as she had for the last three days.

Of course she had spoken to them while looking for the army...but it had remained focused on business, not a word of Alistair, or what the two had spoken of. _Easy to guess though_. Other than that...nothing, no jokes, no conversation, not a word. Morrigan didn't like that. _Foolish_ _weakness_...

Grumbling she jabbed the fire a little harder then needed, irritated with Alistair, Lynn...and herself.

Morrigan had let her guard down, it had been easy with Lynn, a woman of her own kind, one who could appreciate and participate in the torture of the fool Alistair, who knew _power_, and how to get it. Then...Lynn had changed. It had been subtle...fewer suggestions of how to annoy Alistair, less of a tough impression...then no suggestions, the toughness disappearing when around the group, the mask gone.

Morrigan sighed._ I thought it weakness first_..._but she_... Shaking her head she tried to understand. Lynn's mask had broken, revealing her as she was to the others...and she'd become all the stronger for it. It didn't make sense! Yet it was what had happened...Lynn had stopped looking at her companions as resources to use and discard...and she'd somehow _gained_ from it! They had looked to her and found a friend and...spirits help her...Morrigan felt the same way about her...her _friend_.

_It is a weakness, and it has infected me_.

Grimacing she considered Alistair and Lynn's relationship. It had been such a...harsh road. Morrigan still didn't really understand what Lynn had found in the fool...Lynn had never said it, not _really_, it was something not even Morrigan was privy to. But whatever it was it had somehow softened Lynn...and strengthened her at the same time. _Like a tree bowing to the wind instead of __breaking_...she shook her head, irritated with herself.

First it had irritated Morrigan, why would Lynn, one of the few people in Ferelden still possessing something close to a brain...be so affected, and later, dependent on a man that practically _defined_ the word 'fool'!? I didn't make any sense! Yet she _had_...and Morrigan had found herself less and less irritated with it...in fact...she had _liked_ it. Morrigan held back a snort,_ still can't believe it_... She had _liked_ the way Lynn had begun to act, so foolish yet..._happy_. She'd _liked_ to see her _friend_ _happy_..._despite_ the foolishness it stemmed from. _Still can't believe it_...

She had found herself grateful of Alistair.

Alistair of all people!

And now it was all gone, her friend broken. _Should I have said something_? Morrigan swallowed, the ill-fitting cloak of guilt wrapping itself around herself as she considered the thought. _I could have stopped this_...

Everyone knew what was going to happen once Alistair was made king, it had been obvious, even to Morrigan who didn't know much of Ferelden politics...what she'd seen during her journeys had been enough to tell her that no elf commoner that couldn't even bear children could become the human king's wife...it just wasn't possible. Yet no other knew what Morrigan knew...she was sure neither Alistair or Lynn knew either...or they would have acted differently.

_Should I have told him_? Morrigan grimaced. Alistair was a predictable creature, if he'd known what would happen when the archdemon was slain by a warden...and there were only two in Ferelden...he would _never_ have broken up with Lynn. He would have stayed with her, held the army together for a short while longer while keeping the knowledge from her...and then end it all before the Banns could rebel, for they could hardly rebel against a _dead_ king now could they? Lynn's survival chances would have sky-rocketed and...she would have been _happy_...at least for a little while longer.

But Morrigan hadn't said anything, hadn't told anyone. She didn't _want_ to tell Lynn...she feared what the woman might do...before all that had happened it had been obvious what the elf would have decided upon. But _now_...Morrigan grimaced._ I don't want her to die_...

Neither had she told Alistair. For even though the pain it would cause him wouldn't mean anything to Morrigan, and that it would mean a few more days of happiness for Lynn...it also meant Morrigan would have to tell Alistair of her plan...of the way out.

_And he would have refused_..._and_ _then he would have_ _died_..._and_ _Lynn_ _would_ _grieve_...

The only option left was to tell Lynn of what would happen...and then mention her deal as well...and Morrigan _feared_ the answer. She just didn't know what she could expect! On the one hand Lynn was a practical person! She'd want to stay _alive_! _And_ keep Alistair alive! Yet...Lynn was loyalty and duty in body and soul...would she view such a ritual as going against them? She _might_...and then she would be _lost_.

_And_ _either_ _way_..._I'll_ _leave_.

It was a bitter thing to know, but Morrigan had stayed far too long already, too many knew who she was, _what_ she was... It was only a matter of time before the templars would send a veritable army after her. If they _did_ Lynn, if _alive_, would move to defend Morrigan...and Morrigan couldn't dare risk it._ I've gotten weak_...

Not to mention that her mother's spirit was still around...somewhere. Flemeth was anything but easy to kill and the lack of a body would only slow her down. And when she _returned_...Morrigan shuddered. _Better be far away then, so she'll have trouble finding me, so that_..._she won't go for the others_. Morrigan grimaced. _Weak_...

_I should have told him_..._then again perhaps this was for the best? Now Lynn won't be as broken up about it if Alistair is the one to make the final thrust_...Morrigan sighed, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere with her train of thoughts, they'd been on her mind for near a week now after all. _But I need to offer the way out_..._I __need__ to_..._help__ them_. Morrigan blinked, realising that the thought of the power she'd amass with such a ritual was only a secondary concern compared to her wish to see Lynn and Alistair alive. _Even Alistair_..._he_..._has_ _earned_ _that_ _much_. She glanced over at her friend again. _With them both alive...at least there's hope_..._I_..._spirits_..._I want her to be happy_.

_This journey has weakened me_...

"You should talk to her." Morrigan jumped at the words and whirled about to glare at Leliana, wondering if the bard had somehow heard her thoughts. There was no fear in Leliana's eyes as she looked back, only weariness, as if she too shouldered some of Lynn's burden. _Maybe we all are_? _Not a pleasant thought_... "She could need a friend."

"I..." Morrigan looked over at Lynn, knowing of whom the bard spoke of...and having no scathing reply in store. "...no...she needs quiet."

"She's _had_ quiet for three days now." Wynne pointed out, earning a scowl from Morrigan, the old woman didn't even look up from the fire though, still pale from the hard march towards Redcliffe. "It doesn't seem to do much good."

_I don't want to_. Morrigan hid her grimace behind a sneer. "'Tis curious you think so, 'tis not I who's her friend and knows her well?"

Wynne didn't raise to the bait, only shook her head, too weary to argue. Instead Oghren spoke, the dwarf leaning back against a fallen tree trunk and staring into the fire. "Haven't forgotten Branka yet, dammit I still..." A hand came up, the back of it pushing out against his nose. "...I wish I had had someone that just...helped."

Everyone stared at the dwarf, Wynne's jaw hanging open.

Ignoring them Oghren shook his head, still staring into the fire. "Soddin...no one went to get her for _two_ _years_...but dammit someone could have..._talked_ to me about it...no one did though...they didn't _care_..." He scowled at the fire, as if it somehow was its fault...and Morrigan found herself unable to point out _why_ no one had cared to talk to him about it during those two years. "If someone had just..." A grunt and he reached towards the forgotten bottle next to him...only to stop, glaring at it. He pulled his hand back and placed it in his lap, gaze returning to the fire, eyes small slits, practically hidden under his beard. "...she deserves more then silence dammit."

Silence.

Shaking her head Morrigan looked away. "She's _not_ you, she's stronger then you." _I'm_ _weak_..._I_ _don't_ _dare_...

"True." Oghren grunted and shrugged, still not caring about the other's staring. "But dammit...some help can't hurt her."

_Yes it could_...Morrigan grimaced, then heard Sten move. _By all the spirits_..._what_ _did_ _I_ _do_ _to_ _deserve_ _this_!? "The dwarf is correct, the commander is useless like this."

Guilt.

_Maybe I have_..._I_ _should have told Alistair_..._I should have_..._done something_. "Really? Did not strike me so far...do you judge her performance inadequate?" Morrigan snorted, at times they'd been so close to the darkspawn horde that they could smell them...

"No, but she has no fire, no heart." Sten paused, considering his words. "Once cannot win a battle if ones heart is not in it."

"So practical..." Morrigan taunted, but it was an empty taunt. _I_ _know_..._survival_ _cannot_ _be_ _achieved_ _if_ _one_ _doesn't_ _struggle_ _for_ _it_.

"Morrigan-"

"No." Morrigan snapped and shook her head, shooting Leliana a scowl that stopped the bard from reaching for her shoulder. "I will not disturb her, if she desires my presence she will call for me."_ I don't want to go_..._I don't want to give the offer_..._not yet_..._it'll_..._change everything_.

_I don't want to lose her_.

Leliana sighed, then tried again...and Morrigan found herself unable to stop her: "Morrigan...you are her friend...perhaps her _best_ friend." The bard grimaced, as if it was a competition and she was congratulating the winner. _Doesn't feel as much of a prize though_... "Talk to her, please."

"We've...drifted apart." Morrigan replied, looking away. It was true, they didn't speak much anymore, they were friendly, talked at times...but it wasn't like _before_. It had _hurt_...yet Morrigan had found herself _happy_ for Lynn....for even though the woman was less with the witch she was so _happy_! And Morrigan _wanted_ her happy..._despite_ the feeling of loss it brought her.

_I've become weak_...

"Not that much." Wynne remarked with a sigh. "I know you might not be comfortable with it...but you're the best for the job..."

"Says the mage despising me." Morrigan snorted, drawing a grimace from Wynne. "'Tis a wonder you have not yet gone to her and used that 'grandmotherly' charm of yours to comfort her...afraid are you?"

_As I am_?

Wynne stiffened, then shook her head, still staring into the fire. "She doesn't listen to me as she does you...with me she would just wallow in it...you could make her see forward. To the future."

_A future bringing nothing but death and pain_. Morrigan grimaced, the guilt once again washing over her. "Great, you finally realise how useless you are, perfect." She snorted, but once more Wynne didn't take the bait. _Dammit_... "But...what of Leliana?" She looked over at the bard...that surprisingly shook her head. "You are comfort and caring and all that...you could just pet her and tell her what a good girl she is...do whatever it is you do."

"No...I could but..." Leliana shook her head. "It is your right..." _I_ _don't_... "...your responsibility." _What_!? "As her friend...you must be strong for her."

_I_ _don't_..._want_ _to_...Morrigan looked away.

No one spoke, all looking at her, waiting.

She gritted her teeth. Feeling the other's accusations, the silent _judgement_, how they saw through her, saw her _weakness_...how _pathetic_ she'd gotten. They didn't scorn her though, they remained silent, waiting, even _caring_.

Their sympathy burned her.

_I hate you all_...

"Fine!" Morrigan snorted and got to her feet, refusing to look at the others."If you are all too weak to talk to her I suppose I have to do it then, despite it being a foolish choice."

No one answered.

_I'm the weak one_... Ignoring her thoughts, the others, _their_ sympathy, _her_ weakness...Morrigan stepped away from the fire, strode towards Lynn...all confidence.

The mask of confidence cracked within seconds when she came closer though. Saw Lynn up close, how the woman was just staring down at the ground, at her uneaten meal, _shaking_ with unshed tears.

"Spirits..." Morrigan muttered, right there and then deciding to wait with telling Lynn of what she knew. _It can wait_... "Lynn..." Morrigan sat down next to the woman, a hand drifting towards the shoulder of the elf...before being withdrawn, Morrigan unsure what to do. "...I...hello."

_That's it_?_That's__ what I could muster_?_ I'm a weakling __and__ a fool apparently_...

To her surprise a small laugh, desperate and pained, escaped Lynn. "Hello Morrigan..."

"Have you ever seen a giant spider hunt a deer?" Morrigan blinked, shocked at her own words. _Does my mouth have a life of its own or have I simply gone insane_?

Lynn blinked as well, frowned...then sighed as she leant her head back, eyes closing. "No..." _Knew I shouldn't have gone, knew I should have_- "...please tell me. Just...speak."

_Ah_... Morrigan nodded and swallowed, she didn't _want_ to do it...but she found herself _glad_ to do so none the less. "Well it all begins at the evening when the sun has gone..."

_I'll tell her later_...

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for her constant work._


	68. Chapter 68

The area around Redcliffe was a hive of activity.

Everywhere Lynn had looked during her approach of the castle there had been pitched tents, cooking pots and men and women in armour. The village had been equally full of soldiers, so many it was hard to spot the villagers whose houses were now full of their 'guests'. There were no complaints though, after all that had happened the villagers were grateful of their loud protectors.

And loud they were, the huge camp was a constant source of sounds. Arrows thudding into targets and swords hitting steel as the troops practised. Trumpets sounding the rallying of a regiment for patrol, dinner or manoeuvre. The sound of smithies working. The sound of horses neighing. The sound of officers cursing. The sound of marching feet. The sound of laughter. The sound of conversations, loud and boastful.

Apparently they had already won a small victory against a darkspawn force, and though it was a minor success Lynn, _everyone_, could sense the change in the wind. They were _united_ again, _against_ the darkspawn....and that demanded of them to succeed.

In comparison the buzzing in the castle was quiet, the air tenser, more worried.

Lynn had yet to see someone that wasn't either an officer, a servant or a messenger...all were constantly moving to and fro too...on no doubt important missions to make the massive army ready to march. _Can't believe I've been part of building this army_...

Lynn had no time to be amazed with the thought though, her focus elsewhere as she marched through the castle halls, the others at her back, the group making servants and officers alike press up against the walls to give them room as they headed for their destination.

_He's the king, you're the warden, nothing else, don't think about anything else_. _Duty_... Lynn grimaced, feeling the others looking at her back, ready to act if she needed their help. ..._I_ _hate_ _duty_.

She remained steady though, unwavering. _I knew it wouldn't last_..._why grieve_?_ Heck, if __Morrigan__ takes pity on me things are bad_..._I will __not__ be that weak_. She clenched the parchment in her hand, hearing the paper crackle as she grimly stared straight ahead. _I'll do my duty and then_..._I don't_..._rightly know_. She squared her shoulders. _Don't think about it_.

All too soon she arrived.

They had rearranged Eamon's dinning hall. One of the tables had been removed and the other pulled closer to the centre of the room, all chairs removed to make moving around it easier. At the far end of the room the fire had nearly gone out in the hearth, but none seemed to notice. The many lamps hanging on the walls gave enough light for all to see the many maps and papers spread out over the table in a near haphazard way anyway. Ordered chaos was all Lynn could think of.

They had her back to her. Eamon, Teagan..._Alistair_.

In between Eamon to his left and Teagan to his right Alistair still _dominated_ the room, despite the other two being older, one of them even having been his _mentor_..._he_ was the king in the room...there was no crown to prove it, nor was it needed. Taller then the others he was in the armour they'd dug up in the Brecilian forest, which by now suited him so well it might as well have been a second skin. _The forest_...Lynn grimaced and came to a halt, feeling a ghost of a pressure on her lips..._the_ _kiss_...the grimace got worse..._damned_ _duty_...

"Three thousand?" Alistair asked, bent over the table as he stared at a paper. "With another thousand to arrive this evening? That's well. What of the banns?"

"Six thousand so far, don't expect any more for a while though." Teagan answered, a hand drifting to point to another paper. "In total...roughly eight hundred knights. There was some initial tensions between the royal troops and some of the banns' troops...they have _just_ stopped fighting each other after all, but some clever shuffling of the camp has fixed that issue. We have only a few horses though. Too many have been eaten by now by hungry peasants due to crops getting trampled by all the armies."

"Ferelden has _always_ had few horses." Alistair growled with a shrug. "_I_ can vouch for _that_." A small chuckle escaped the men even as Lynn found a smile forcing itself upon her. _Damn you Alistair_... "Right, what of our allies?"

"The dwarves have sent four hundred men...along with six of those golems." Eamon shrugged. "Apparently they couldn't send more due to some damn argument between their king and whatever nut makes those golems."

Alistair sighed, then, even though he had his back to her, Lynn could tell he was smiling as he looked at the paper. "Half of them is the legion of the dead though, that is excellent news." He noted the others questioning looks and shrugged. "Trust me...what of the dalish?"

"A hundred strong...causing enough trouble for three hundred though." Teagan grumbled. "They're a bit testy about the whole thing...and giving them orders is a delicate process...I reckon they'll pull their weight though, of what I've seen their archery has been impressive."

"A hundred?" Alistair grunted and shrugged. "Guess it's impressive considering they're few in numbers and nomads...the mages?"

"Twelve." Eamon grimaced and looked away.

"I'm sorry..." Alistair's stance stiffened as he glared over at Eamon. "...did you say..._twelve_?"

"The tower is still in disarray." Eamon shrugged even as he took a step back. "Most of the mages were dead to begin with, the tower is nearly empty by now."

"I suppose there's nothing to do about that...but damn...all that effort for _twelve_ mages?" Alistair grumbled and looked back to the pile of papers before him, letting Eamon step back. "...but damn I would have liked more...more _everything_ to be honest. Speaking of which, if the royal troops still have trouble getting enough arrows you should ask the Dalish for some, they always bring too many anyway..."

"Yes lord..." Teagan bowed his head with a grimace, no doubt not looking forward to _that_ conversation...and then noticed Lynn in the doorway. "Ah, our scout returns." A small smile and Lynn felt able to move again, her steps small. "Were you successful ser Tabris?"

Lynn nearly flinched at the phrasing of the question, but continued her advance... "Yes I-" ...only to come to a stuttered halt as Alistair turned to face her.

There was a flicker of relief in his eyes as he saw her, then pain, then sadness...and then the mask was back on...and he regarded her coolly. "Warden." Even his voice...cold, hard...and utterly unconvincing. _Damn_ _you_...

"Your majesty." Swiftly recovering Lynn shot Alistair a short nod as she advanced to stand opposite the three men, holding up the parchment covered in Sten's blocky writing, eyes on Teagan. "Yes I've been successful. The darkspawn force is heading for Denerim along the eastern road."

Silence.

Teagan looked over at Alistair, Eamon too...and the king stared at Lynn...who refused to meet his eyes. _No, you get nothing from me_. _Damn you_..._Morrigan was right_..._you __are__ a fool, even more so if you think I'll care anymore. I won't...I mean I don't_..._I_... Taking a deep breath she set her eyes, staring at Teagan's jaw, following the line of it, waiting for the news to sink into the others so they could talk...and _not_ look at her.

"That is...grave news." Eamon muttered, gaze darting down to his hands.

Teagan took a shuddering breath and nodded. "We nearly emptied the garrison to create this force, it won't hold for long. If they besiege it..." He let the words sink in. A dead city..._thousands_ of dead...the capital of Ferelden..._gone_.

"They won't besiege it." Alistair growled, making Lynn look up...and seeing him look down at her, his hard mask grating on her nerves. "They'll launch an assault, burn it...it's what they do." He swallowed, his sympathy for the people within the city badly concealed. Y_es, your oh so precious kindness_..._damn you_.

Nodding Lynn drove the point home, wanting to _hurt_ him: "Agreed, and we can't stop them, not at the pace they're moving. Denerim is lost." There it _was_, a flicker of _pain_. It felt _good_...and _bitter_. _You're not the one with family in it_..._Maker_..._no_..._don't_ _think_ _about_ _it_..._damn_ _you_ _Alistair_... Lynn swallowed and looked away, a shudder running through her. _They know how to survive_..._they do_..._they'll be fine_..._don't worry_..._damn you Alistair_...

"Not yet." Alistair interjected, shoulders squared as he, much to Lynn's relief, looked over at Teagan. "Can we ready the army to march till tomorrow?"

Teagan, still pale from the news, hesitated. "Well I-"

"Do it."

"I...yes...your majesty." Teagan bowed and ran off, already shouting for his officers.

"Alistair, even _with_ a forced march..."

"We'll either hit them as they're still struggling to get in or while they're inside the city." Alistair snapped, interrupting Eamon with a quick glare. "Either way, we have an advantage." _Great_..._you've learnt to exploit even painful things_..._wonder where you learnt __that_? Lynn felt like spitting on him. _Jerk_... Turning back to her he forced Lynn back with a hard look, as if he had somehow read her mind. "Warden, how many troops does the darkspawn have?"

_You're a warden too you son of a slutty servant and a horny jackass of a_... Taking a deep breath Lynn shrugged. "We made estimates based on the number of fires they made and what I felt from them...forty thousand perhaps?" Eamon gasped as Alistair remained impassive...even when Lynn shrugged. "And the numbers were visibly growing...there'll be sixty thousand of them by the time they reach the city gates."

"Maker save us..." Eamon muttered.

Alistair remained silent though.

Then; a short shrug. "And the archdemon?"

Lynn shuddered, despite her best efforts. "At the head of the horde...it's...big." She had only seen it from a distance, too worried it would sense her and descend upon her, for she was sure it wanted nothing but to feed upon her after her grievous insult of defying it. Yet even from a distance she had felt its evil...like a writhing snake curling around her gut, its bite poisonous, ready to end her. _I'll kill it though_...Lynn nodded shortly at the thought, her mind set. _I'll kill it_.

"Those are...large numbers." Eamon mumbled. "Perhaps we should wait and-"

"No." Alistair shook his head, shooting Eamon a short look. "Every day we wait the horde grows larger, we must strike _now_ or we will not have a chance of winning a battle with them." He was right...and Lynn _hated_ him for it. _I hate you your majesty_..._I_..._no_..._I __do_. He looked over at her, that infuriating mask still on. "Agreed?"

"Agreed." She growled, glaring at the man...and receiving nothing but feigned calm back. _I lo-__hate__ you soo much_...

"Speaking of numbers..." Eamon pulled up a pair of folded papers from the mess on the table. "This arrived, from Orlais." He handed the paper to Alistair, then the second. "And this is from the Orlesian ward-" Lynn snatched the second letter from the old man's hands before he could hand it to Alistair, making the king glare at her in irritation, a glare she was all too happy to return in kind.

"Oh how delightful." Alistair rolled his eyes at her, then focused on the letter in his hands. "Let's see...to the regent...right...they were apparently not sure who ruled when writing this..." Sighing at his vain attempt to be funny Lynn focused on her own letter, quickly breaking the seal. "Hmm...compliment, compliment...nations united...more compliments...we regret...ah..."

Lynn sighed and ignored Alistair's grumbling as she read her own letter, far too aware that she read it so quickly thanks to him. _Damn_ _him_..._no_..._focus_. _Let's see...they go with the Orlesians, can't risk spending their strength in an unwinnable fight_..._hmpf_, _pathetic_..._risks_ _must_ _be_ _taken_ _in_ _war_. _Yes, we're new wardens...doesn't feel like it anymore though_. _About_ _the_ _archdemon_...

_No_..._that_ _can't_ _be_ _right_...

"Seems the Orlesians won't come, they'll mass their forces to defend their own land instead..." Alistair sighed. "Oh well, it was a long shot, they wouldn't have arrived in time anyway I suppose. What did your letter say Ly...warden?"

_That_..._no_... Lynn read the text again, and again...and again. Rubbed her eyes...then again. _It_..._that's not_..._no_..._that's not fair_... She felt herself go cold, her throat dry. _Not fair_...

"Ly..." A sigh. "Warden? What are they saying? Are they coming?"

"No..." Lynn's voice was small, minimal._ It's not fair_..._after all this_..._no_..._doesn't it ever __end_? _But_ _I_ _can't_ _just_..._no_...I_...I_ _can't_ _do_ _that_..._it's_ _not_..._no_...

Alistair snatched the letter from her hands. Lynn made no effort to stop him, still reeling, feeling her mind go blank, unable to process the information. "Let's see...no they're not, figures...but what..." He trailed off.

_It's not_..._not fair_..._I've come so far_..._I can't just_...

"Is something wrong?" Eamon's voice was a low mutter to her ears, distant and meaningless.

_I don't want to die_..._not now_..._not_..._no_..._it's not fair_...

"I...no...nothing." Alistair shrugged and tossed the letter aside. "Warden business, I'll deal with it."

_I don't_..._I can't_..._damned duty_..._I'll_..._I don't_. Lynn frowned. _What_!?

Whirling her head up she glared at Alistair. "The hell you will!"

The man groaned, but didn't meet her eyes. "Lynn, let's not argue abo-"

"Don't you _Lynn_ me!" Lynn shoved him, hard, sending him hip first into the table. "You're the _king_!"

"Which only makes it all the more my duty." Alistair replied with a shrug and an awkward smile.

Lynn sputtered, the smile twisting into her like a knife. "_No_ it doesn't! It means the exact _opposite_!"

Alistair's eyes narrowed in irritation and he straightened, dwarfing her, making her glare all the harder at him. _You don't scare me_... "I am the senior warden and as-"

"_Senior_ warden!?" Lynn scoffed. "You think you can plead that _now_!? You've got _some_ nerves!"

"Could someone-"

"NO!" Lynn and Alistair barked back at Eamon, making the man take a step back.

Suddenly without anything to say the pair just glared at each other, measuring each other's resolve...and neither finding the other wanting.

Alistair sighed, but didn't stop his glaring as he said: "Lynn, listen, I'll-"

"No." She snapped, angry. "You won't."_ I won't allow it, I don't want to do_..._it..._but_ I will_..._no_..._I_..._damn you_! "It's _my_ duty, _not_ yours." _I won't be destroyed by your kindness, I will __not_.

"You thought making me king will stop me from-"

"I didn't _know_ of it then!" Lynn growled, ignoring the slight shuffling of feet behind her as she advanced, coming within an inch of Alistair as she glared up at him. "But now that you are it's obvious that I must be the one to do it! Just as you are-"

"No!" Alistair barked back, shaking his head, eyes narrowed at her, angry. "I will _not_ accept that! I will _not_!"

_What do __you__ care_!? Lynn wanted to punch him, instead she settled for jabbing his chest with a finger, teeth bared in a feral snarl. "Yes you _will_ your _majesty_! That is _final_!"

"That's funny!" Alistair scoffed at her, scowling. "You _cannot_ order me around anymore! So I see _no_ _reason_ to follow your order!"

"How about common sense!" Lynn snapped. _Stop arguing you damn_..._why__ do you argue_!? _Damn_ _you_... "Or is making a logical choice too damn _difficult_ for you!? Make one for at least _once_ in your miserable life!"

The man blinked, then snorted. "Like logic has _anything_ to do with this! No! I _order_ you to stand back!"

Lynn could only snort. "Sorry! Warden business! You have no _right_ to order me anywhere! Besides, I'm _already_ a criminal!" _Stop arguing_..._damn_ _you_..._stop_ _it_...

No answer came out of Alistair, just a glare and a snort, eyes afire with a mixture of rage and..._something_.

_You will __not_...Lynn glared up at him, her shoulders shaking with her anger. _I forbid it_..._you will not_..._damn you_..._I_..._I would never forgive you_..._don't you __dare__ fail me like that_...

"We'll just have to wait and see then..." Alistair finally said, his voice a venomous hiss. "...we'll see..."

Then he turned and marched away, stance stiff, anger radiating from him.

Lynn only glared at his back, all too willing to dive into her anger, to lose herself in it, to disappear into it.

_Damn_ _you_...

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for dealing with me._


	69. Chapter 69

_Tomorrow I'll die_.

_Or Alistair will_.

_I don't want to die_.

_But I don't want him to die either_...

Lynn's anger had faded, leaving her tired, dizzy, _afraid_. It was one thing to charge into the greatest horde she'd even encountered, to battle against the odds...and then a blighted dragon of all things. All of that she could _handle_, it was more danger then usual...but still something she could _understand_, grasp. But to die even if you're victorious...or have _him_ die....

_Not victory or death_..._but_ _death or __ash_..._we can't win_.

The room Eamon had cleared for her was large and spacious, a large bed dominating the wall to her right, a table to her left covered with her arms and armour, all oiled and ready to be pulled on when tomorrow dawned, ready to turn her into the formidable 'warden'. Right now she was just 'Lynn' though, in a simple nightshirt, her left arm resting against the hearth opposite the closed door as she stared into the still glowing embers of the fire.

_I_ _feel_..._tired_.

She glanced back at the bed, waiting for her to go to sleep as she by all logic should. _Won't be able to sleep though_. Snorting she looked back into the fire, trying to lose herself in the amber glow...and failing. She had considered going to Alistair, to either just talk to him..or...she grimaced. _No, it'll just make things more painful for whoever_..._is left behind_. She didn't want to think about it, the fear of being left..._alone_. _Neither_ did she want to think about dying, to just...fade away into...whatever awaited her.

_Yet that's all I can think of_.

She sighed and shook her head. She _knew_ Alistair could very likely take the choice out of her hands...do his little noble deed...do the ultimate sign of just how kind and caring he was. _Knew_ he would finally destroy her with his kindness, which he once had been so close to do._ If only he'd do it for some other reason, if I could believe he did it for some other reason then me...then it would be tolerable_. She shuddered, the thought of Alistair, _her_ Alistair, dead...it felt like a knife in the gut.

But the alternative, to trick or outrun him...to willingly throw herself and the archdemon, to end her own _existence_...made her shudder even more, instinct screaming at her how wrong such a thing would be. She had _always_ been, and would always _be_, a survivor dammit!

_It's not fair_..._I wish there was_..._something-_

As if on cue, the door opened.

Turning Lynn found Morrigan entering, the steps of the witch slow, silent, her head slightly bowed, making Lynn blink and pull back in surprise. _She_ _looks_..._cowed_.

The door closed with a painfully loud click.

Silence.

"Morrigan?" Lynn tried, swallowing, suddenly feeling nervous as the witch looked up at her...the golden eyes unreadable. "I...can I help you...?"

"It's rather _I_ who can help _you_." Morrigan replied, her voice having the normal near-arrogant tone...yet..._not_. The witch moved closer, watching Lynn attentively as she spoke: "I know what happens when the archdemon dies."

Lynn flinched, as much to the thought of what would happen as to the revelation itself. _She knows_?_ But __how_!?_ It doesn't make sense_..._and why didn't she __tell__ me_!? "Y-you do?" She felt herself take a backwards step, only to bump into the hearth behind her. _She_ _knew_ _all_ _along_? _But_..._that_ _doesn't_ _make_ _sense_..._if_ _she_ _knew_..._ah_. "That's why Flemeth sent you with us, to protect us...so one of us could slay the archdemon...otherwise she could have done it herself."

"Yes." Morrigan replied with a miniscule shrug, head cocked as she looked at Lynn. "Partly."

_Partly_? Lynn found her eyes narrowing...a sense of..._something_...making her wary. "She had a plan..." The witch flinched at the words, as if struck...a look of..._guilt_ upon her face?! Lynn swallowed, dread digging into her. "...which is now _your_ plan."

"In a part...perhaps." Morrigan shrugged again, a miniscule move of her shoulders. "But the important part is rather what it could do to you...how my plan could save you..._and_ Alistair."

Lynn jumped to attention, drawing a small chuckle out of Morrigan as the witch sat down on Lynn's bed. _I_..._maybe I shouldn't listen to this_..._it'll be_..._dangerous_. The thought was weak however, lacking any authority. Instead she stepped closer, feeling a rush through her veins. _Alive_, _both_..._alive_. "Tell me."

"It's a simple ritual, requiring no effort on your part...and only a little of Alistair's." Morrigan grimaced in disgust. "But it must be done _now_...tonight, before midnight." Morrigan leant back in the bed, meeting Lynn's attentive stare with a strange look on her face. "Convince Alistair to come here and lay with me-"

"No." Lynn blinked, realising why she'd cut off Morrigan and blushed. "I...sorry...go on..." _It's_ _wrong_..._I_ ..._no_...

_Shut up, listen to her_.

"_Trust_ me, I don't relish the thought either." Morrigan replied, with a grimace equal parts sympathy and disgust. "Never the less...if he does so tonight...a child will be conceived." _No_..._I_..._no_..._it_ _should_..._Maker_..._be_ _mine_. Lynn shuddered. _Stop_ _thinking,_ _it_ _won't_ _happen_, _just_..._listen_. "That child will bear the taint of the wardens...and the archdemon's spirit...when slain...will seek this taint out instead of the one slaying it."

"You...want to kill a child?" Lynn grimaced, disgust welling up within her, all too vivid memories of Connor's death running before her mind's eye.

"Even considering that at the time it will not be something close to even be _called_ a child...no." Morrigan shrugged. The spirit of the archdemon will not manifest properly, it will go back whence it came, ending your blight....and the child will _live_." The witch looked away, fingers drumming against the bed. "With the spirit of the old god contained within the dragon...but without its taint."

"You...that's what you want? Why?" The question escaped numb lips as Lynn...unable to really think, to _understand_, stared at the witch_._

"I don't wish to tell you." Morrigan snorted, then looked back at Lynn, eyes narrowing. "This is my trade, a life for a life...no one loses anything, all gain."

"B-but..." Lynn blinked, trying to remember the codex, trying to remember the letter the Orlesian wardens had sent her. She suddenly found it very hard. _Alive_.._both_ _of_ _us_..._alive_... "...it'll be an old god..."

"In a matter of speaking." Morrigan shrugged and looked away, her fingers resuming the drumming on the bed.

"It could...be tainted again. And...the taint of the archdemon might resurface faster."

"Perhaps a little faster, in a few centuries less?" Morrigan snorted. "As for the child...that's a very small risk, I'll protect it." Morrigan chuckled at herself. "As a mother should."

_Your definition of motherhood differs a lot from mine_... Lynn grimaced. _No_, _don't_ _think_. "It's a good trade..._so_ good..." She grimaced. _It's_ _wrong_..._I_ _know_ _it_..._I_ _feel_ _it_... "Alistair will never agree to it though..."

"And that's why I'm approaching _you_." Morrigan eyes Lynn with interest. "_You_ could convince him, you _know_ you could." She slipped to her feet and moved towards Lynn, her movement slow, graceful..._dangerous_. "Come now...you know you could do it. Speak to him..._convince_ him." She put her left hand on Lynn's left shoulder, smiling, _kind_. "You could _both_ survive this...I wish this for you...is that so strange?"

"N-no..." Lynn hesitated. "B-but the...we have a duty as warden..." She looked away, unable to meet the witch's eyes any longer. "...the blight must be stopped...th-the _current_...and the _next_..."

"Come now." Morrigan chuckle was soft, alluring...her grip remaining on Lynn's shoulder walked around her, the witch's other hand dropping onto Lynn's right shoulder. Morrigan's voice was but a whisper, soft and filling Lynn with hope. "What does any potential blight mean to you? It won't happen during your _lifetime_...surely you want to have a chance at happiness?"

_B_-_but_ _duty_... Lynn hesitated, her eyes closing as a shudder ran through her. "Y-yes..."

"With Alistair alive...and you too...there's a _chance_...isn't there?" Morrigan was close now, so close Lynn could feel the witch's breath against her left ear. "A chance to get him _back_...you _know_ you could do it...he's not as strong as he appears to be...you could still convince him..._if_ you both remain alive."

"Tr-true..." Lynn swallowed, her head feeling...thick for some reason. "...I could..." _I shouldn't, he shouldn't_..._but_ _I_ _could_..._we_ _could_ _be_ _alive_..._together_..._but_..._we_ _shouldn't_..._should_ _we_? _Alistair_ _had_ _said_..._and_ _he_ _was_ _right_. _Yet_..._I_..._want_.... "Morrigan I..."

"Yes...?" The whisper, close, alluring...needing...asking for just a little...a little trade...a little deed...

Lynn swallowed, her throat dry. _I_ _could_ _convince_ him..._I_ _could_..._he'd_ _do_ _it_..._we_ _could_ _both_ _survive_..._happiness_. _What's another blight a thousand years later_? _Not_ _our_ _problem_..._we_ _would_ _have_ _done_ _our_ _part_..._none_ _could_ _blame_ _me_..._none_... She shuddered, her eyes closing. _None but myself_... She shivered, hating herself. A_nother blight_..._more pain_. _Something like this_..._forced onto others_? _I_..._could_ _I_ _do_ _that_?

_Alistair_...

_Yes, yes I could_..._what do they mean to me_? _Nothing_..._but_ _if_ _we_ _live_..._at_ _least_ _there's_ _something_..._a_ _chance_ _of_ _a_ _life_..._maybe_ _even_ _happiness_... She grimaced, shoulders stiff. _But I would have failed my duty, all our pains_..._sufferings_..._it could be for naught. Is my life worth more then all the pains its gone through to reach this point_? _Is Alistair's_? _I_..._I want to think so_...

_Yet_...

_I can't kill myself_..._nor can I let Alistair kill himself_._ Yet_..._I must do my duty_..._what would I be without my duty_?_ Just another Loghain, another scum not worthy of living in even the alienage_..._Alistair would despise it_..._I__ would despise it_...

_Yet_...

She felt _trapped_, there was no way out, no _good_ option. Only failure...death...or pain.

"Please Lynn..." Morrigan's voice was so soft...so _kind_...so dangerous. "Let me do this for you...let me save you, him...make things better for you.

Lynn shook with indecision. She _knew_ she couldn't bring herself to kill herself! She _knew_ she couldn't let Alistair kill himself! She _knew_ she couldn't shirk her duty! There were no choices left..._nothing_...

Nothing but _anger_!

"How..._dare_ you?" Lynn's eyes flew open, her shaking changing, becoming tense. "You...you..._snake_!" She shook Morrigan's hands off her shoulders and whirled about, glaring daggers at the baffled-looking witch. "You didn't tell me until now! You didn't tell me until _now_!?" Morrigan swallowed, looking away. "You waited until I was at the most _vulnerable_! When you _knew_ how to approach me! How to make your _deal _soundallthesweeter! You've been playing me all along!"

_I hate you_!

"Lynn I..." Morrigan reached out, only to have her hand knocked aside.

"No! You will _not_ pour more sweet poison into my ear!" Lynn took a step away from the witch, from the _viper_! "I _trusted_ you! I can't...you truly _are_ evil! I can't believe I've been _defending_ you from the others! That I _believed_ we were friends!"

_I hate you_!

Morrigan flinched, but tried once more to reach out. "I-"

"_No_!" Lynn jumped back, sure the hand would burn her. "You tempt me with these things...th-these _fantasies_! I....how can you be so _heartless_!?" Lynn choked the word, feeling her eyes burn as the tears came, uninvited. "At least Alistair knew _shame_ when he did it! He was _honest_! But you're trying to _deceive_ me! But _you_..." Lynn looked away from the pained look on Morrigan's face. "...you _disgust_ me!"

"I-"

"I didn't take part in the ritual to save Connor's life due to the risks and I _certainly_ won't let a ritual happen that'll risk the entirety of _Thedas_! I'm stronger then that!"

_I __hate__ you_!

"Lynn...it will work..." Morrigan mumbled, her voice low, stance hunched.

"I don't _care_!" _Yes_-_no_-_yes_-_no_..._no_! _Hate_! Lynn took another step back, away from the evil before her, shaking her fist at her...at _it_. "You...I will _not_ make all we have done become for naught! You will _not_!" Lynn made a chopping gesture, glaring at Morrigan' through the hazy film covering her eyes. "All our suffering...all the _pain_! And you tempt me into making it _useless_!? How do you even _dare_ to try and fool me into doing this!? I...I can't even _fathom_ it! All our efforts...made pointless b-by _you_!" She shook her head, furious, willing away the doubt. "I _hate_ you!"

Silence.

Morrigan looked...beaten. The witch's shoulders were slumped, her head bowed, golden eyes glittering in the light. As if she was actually _crying_! _Another trick_...Lynn snorted even as Morrigan took a shuddering breath. "The risk is-"

"There will be _no_ risk!" Lynn snapped, breathing heavily, feeling out of breath, ready to just...fall. _Don't_ _think_ _about_ _it_...._about_ _him_..._don't_...._don't_... She glared at Morrigan. _I __hate__ you_...

"I..." Morrigan took another shuddering breath, the witch looking away, unable to meet Lynn's anger. "...cannot stay...I..." She swallowed, licking her lips...then closed her eyes as she took a deep breath, exhaling as she spoke. "...I cannot watch you go to your doom...I..._cannot_."

_No_...Lynn bit her lip, then looked away, stance stiff with regret. "Then _go_, no one's stopping you."

"I..." Morrigan moved to reach out...then pulled back, regret colouring her face. "...very well..." She looked away as she moved past Lynn, her steps slow, as if wishing to prolong the moment. "...good bye..." A click and Lynn heard the the door open. "...friend."

A click, the door closing...Lynn was alone.

_Alone_...

Lynn sat down on the bed, slowly, gingerly...feeling as if she would shatter at any moment

And she felt only one thing...

Regret.

*

*

*

_Tomorrow I'll die_.

_Or Lynn_-

Alistair shook his head, firming his resolve. _No, tomorrow __I__ will die_.

It was an oddly liberating thought.

The idea of dying wasn't pleasant...especially not if the spirit of the archdemon would somehow end him...who knew if his soul would survive that? There was no other alternative however, he could _not_ ask Lynn to do it, in fact he'd prefer if she went far away enough not to even _risk_ it...and he _certainly_ wasn't about to let the archdemon rampage through Ferelden because he couldn't bring himself to face it. His duty to his country and its people demanded more then that...

_Damned duty_...

Striding through the halls of the castle in nothing but a nightshirt and a pair of thin cotton trousers Alistair ignored the stares of the odd servant and guard still awake, they were beneath his notice today.

_It has taken so much from me_..._and now it'll take my life_...

Alistair nearly growled at the thought, feeling a _need_...a need to punch something, to kick and scream, to rip apart and...a _need_ for _her_.

_I am __not__ a puppet to my duty_! _I have my own will_! He snarled in defiance at the thought, partly amused he finally dared defying it now that it wouldn't matter all that much any longer...and partly distraught that it had taken the knowledge of his own end to realise what was important.

Suddenly a white dog was in the corridor...a dog that looked oddly a lot like a wolf. Sitting down it stared at him, its head cocked to the side as it watched his approach. Alistair offered a weak smile as he passed it, a hand darting down to scratch it behind its ear. "Good dog." A whine and the dog pressed up against him...before rushing on, quickly disappearing round a corner. Alistair shot it a confused look, then shrugged, mind too preoccupied to care. "Strange dog..."

His confusion quickly faded though, his mind too heavy to care for such minor things.

_I'm going to die_...

He was before Lynn's door in moments after having passed the dog, the thing closed shut, as if _forbidding_ him to enter.

_No one can tell me what to do any more_..._and even if they __could_..._what_ _would_ _I_ _care_? _I'll_ _die_ _tomorrow_...

He didn't knock, he didn't hesitate, he entered, slamming the door shut behind him.

Lynn didn't look up at his entrance. The woman was sitting on her bed in her nightshirt, face coloured with regret as she stared down at her empty hands limply lying in her lap. She looked so..._pained_...

_And_ _beautiful_. Alistair took a deep breath, his eyes drinking her, trying to memorize her every feature...with a smile he realised he already _had_.

"A..." Lynn looked up, the pain in her face mixing with confusion. "Alistair? What are you doing here? I..." She looked away, the confusion disappearing as the pain took over. "I...I'd like to be alone.

Alistair _couldn't_ answer, _wouldn't_ answer, his hands opening and closing as he stared at her. _So_ _beautiful_...

Lynn sighed, a hand coming to her forehead. "I...just...I...let me be..."

He couldn't obey, _wouldn't_ obey.

He advanced.

"Ali-" Lynn's protest was silenced by Alistair as he roughly pulled her off the bed and into his arms. Ignoring the way her lips twisted into a pained grimace against his he let his left hand clutch at her hair as he forced his tongue between her lips, _forced_ her to accept him.

_Beautiful_...

With a gasp Lynn pushed back enough to free her lips, tears running down her face as he held her by the waist. "Alistair...no...it'll just...hurt more later...it's-"

A grunt and Alistair marched forwards, smashing Lynn into the wall, pinning her against it._ I don't care_. As his right hand moved up, forcing her arms above her head and pinning them against the wall his other moved downwards, pushing her nightshirt up past her legs.

"I..." Lynn gasped, tried to wiggled away...but failed, a hiss escaping her as Alistair's hand came up far enough to reach her rear. "...you'll...regret this..."

_I don't care_. Alistair bowed his head, finding her neck, her collar bones, kissing them...then biting them, wanting _more_. His right hand moved down, leaving Lynn's arms to instead grip her nightshirt...where it loudly ripped it in twain along its length.

A small sob escaped Lynn as her hands came down to clutch his hair as his head went lower, finding breasts, shuddering with breaths. "You're not...ah...fair...it'll hurt...you'll hurt...one of us..."

_I don't care_. Alistair's head dipped lower, finding her navel as both hands slipped upwards, the left grazing Lynn's nipples as the right came up to close around the woman's throat, pushing her back into the wall.

"You're being selfish..." Another sob...then a whimper as Alistair found _her_. "I...this is selfish...you're being cruel..."

_I don't __care_! Alistair pushed his head further up, _drinking_ her. His hands moved downwards, clutching her hips, pinning her as she shivered under his lips, her right leg coming to rest over his shoulder.

"Selfish...cruel..._bastard_..." Lynn whimpered again, her fingers digging into his hair. "I..." A sob, followed by a whimper...followed a small cry. "...hate you..."

_I do too_..._but_ _I_ _don't_ _care_. Alistair redoubled his efforts, feeling thirstier the more he drank. _I'll die tomorrow_..._I'm allowed to be selfish_.

"Ba-" Lynn sobbed, a fingernail digging painfully deep into Alistair's skull. "Ba-" A whimper....then she tensed, gasped, cried out: "_Bastaaaaard_!"

With her suddenly going limp Alistair had to stand up to catch Lynn, the woman gasping for breath as she stared at him, eyes red and swollen, tears covering it even as her hands dug into his shoulders, tearing at his shirt. "Bastard..._fool_...you'll regret this..." He could feel her _pain_, her _happiness_...it was the _same_ thing...as it was for _him_.

Alistair could only manage a pained smile as he grabbed her by the hips and tossed her onto the bed, already ripping his shirt off. "We both will..."

_But tonight_..._I won't care_.

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson about not killing me over this._


	70. Chapter 70

The march had begun before the sun had even risen.

The pace had been high, hard on everyone, but there had been little in the way of complaints, a few mutters...but nothing else as the army marched to what just might be its doom. They had already brushed aside a dozen smaller darkspawn forces that had been moving to join the main army, yet the pace had continued, the men that had been fighting constantly being cycled back to rest at the rear of the army as they crushed their way towards Denerim.

And now they were so close...so close Lynn could see Fort Drakon, so close they could _smell_ the filth of the darkspawn hanging in the air, _hear_ the battle raging in the valley the city lay in, so close they could _see_ the fires...the many fires of Denerim _aflame_.

It was almost pretty. With the sun setting and the huge city afire the darkening sky was illuminated with an orange glow, the mountains and trees around it turning into dark shadows that moved, as if alive. In the glow of the sun in the horizon Fort Drakon stood in sharp relief, an accusing finger of darkness shooting up towards the sky...and the still small shape of the archdemon flying around it, _taunting_ the city that had _dared_ to defy it.

Even as she watched the scene before her Lynn noticed Alistair dismounting from the white gelding he rode, gesturing for Teagan and Eamon to do the same and join him at the side of the still marching army. As they did so they turned to meet the lone rider killing his horse to reach them as he came up the hill where the Fereldian army was deploying.

Quickly off her own horse, a creature she'd learn to loathe already, Lynn moved to join them, her silent companions at her back.

Morrigan wasn't among them, the witch had been true to her word, she'd left, left on the eve of _battle_! The betrayal still made Lynn's stomach churn with anger.

Anger was only one thing she felt though. In the great distance she could see the archdemon, a deceptively small shadow swinging around Fort Drakon, its distant roar echoing over the plains. At its sight she felt...worry, hatred...and an odd feeling of satisfaction, the knowledge that vengeance for her dreams and suffering was at hand. It was a small chance...but at the moment she couldn't imagining herself failing. After all they had done...it wasn't _acceptable_ to fail!

The sight of Alistair made her confused however.

They had actually gotten an hour of sleep, exhaustion having made them fall asleep in a tangled heap after the hours they'd spent just..._losing_ themselves in one another was the only thing she could think of.

She was _angry_ with him, for he had _failed_ them both with coming to her. Yet she felt joy at the anger...as if the taste of it was the sweetest of wines. She felt pain, pain over that he'd reminded her of just how much they stood to lose...yet it was a _good_ pain, it...invigorated her. She was also _happy_ for what he'd done...it had allowed her to forget the next day, if only for a couple of hours...but even _now_ that happiness lingered...the memory painfully clear.

Confusion.

Marching up to the leaders Lynn barely heard the trumpets sound the halt, barely noticed the ranks of troops sliding to a wavering stop, many soldiers doubling over to breathe heavily as they welcomed the rest. Instead she focused on the scout reining in his horse before the king and his advisers, beast and man alike covered in sweat. "My lord!" He gasped, doubling over in his saddle. "I bring news!"

"Where's the other scouts?" Alistair asked even as he reached out to help the scout down from his horse, the beast fell onto its side the moment the man was off it, a soft neigh escaping it...before it went still. "Speak quickly and without protocol man."

"I...thank you." The scout gasped, taking a swig out of the waterskin Eamon offered before focusing on Alistair. "The other scouts are dead ser...the darkspawn have broken through and are in the city, many of the other scouts died trying to get a message through there..." The man shook his head. "Fools..."

A curse escaped Teagan even as Eamon mumbled something under his breath, Alistair remained unfazed however. _Guess we all knew it would happen before we even marched_...taking another step forward Lynn put a hand on Alistair's shoulder, knowing he'd feel sympathy for the civilians, even now when he had set himself on not showing it. Moving to put his hand on his shoulder Alistair nodded to the man: "Right, what else? Dispositions? Any resistance within the city?"

The scout shrugged. "Seems to be fighting going on around Fort Drakon still, the archdemon is leading the assault there with half the darkspawn army within or around the city, can't tell much else, it's chaos in the city..." A gasp, the scout shaking his head, struggling to focus with the heavy exertion. "The other half of the darkspawn army is to the east...they've surrounded some sort of wagon fort..." He grimaced. "I...think many people tried to get out and didn't do so in time...they're still fighting there...a lot."

"Survivors...thank the Maker." Eamon muttered, nodding to himself. "We should make haste..."

Lynn squeezed Alistair's shoulder even as she heard him sigh. "Yes, for the city."_ I knew you could do it_...Lynn smiled faintly even as she pushed aside the worry that her family might be in the wagon fort.

"But-"

"The wagon fort cannot be rescued, their sacrifice has given us an opportunity though." Alistair interrupted Eamon before turning to Teagan. "Bann Teagan, deploy the army, I want them ready to commit to a full assault in minutes."

"Yes your majesty." Teagan replied without hesitation, already moving to obey, barking for the officers to get their troops ready.

Letting go of the scout...who stepped aside with large eyes, only _now_ realising he was seeing the legendary wardens and rulers of Ferelden all gathered before him...Alistair drew he sword and dug it into the dirt. "Our army is here....the city here." The lines were quickly drawn in the dirt, crude picture...but even Lynn understood it. "Here we have half the darkspawn horde, more then enough to overwhelm our army if we're not careful." A large blob was drawn to the right side of 'their' line and next to the lines representing the city walls. "The rest of the army is in the city, spread out and vulnerable as they destroy the city."

"You...want to attack them first?" Eamon asked, frowning. "We could be boxed in between-"

"I know, listen." Alistair pushed the tip of his blade into the centre of the city. "The archdemon must be reached and killed...with its forces in the city disorganized we _can_ do it if we move now." The sword moved to draw a line from the city walls to 'their' line. "We charge their lines head on and take the city gates, then move in so we can attack the darkspawn within the city. If we do it swiftly we can put them on the back foot."

"We have more then ten thousand men..." Eamon grumbled, eyeing the army fanning out behind them. "...the darkspawn to the east will hit them before we can get them all in, it'll cause a rout."

"Quite right, so not everyone will go." Alistair replied. "Our allies have an obligation to us, and skills we need within the walls, they'll be the tip of the force going in, as will your men Eamon, with all that has happened they'll fight to the death for the wardens will they not?"

A small smile on Eamon's face, the man nodding. "That they will do." The smile faded slightly. "But even with those men the force entering will be a mere seven hundred men...and if they're in the front-line to push through there'll be even less of them once we've entered the gates. Seven hundred against thirty thousand isn't good odds..."

"It's all about quality in city fighting." Alistair replied, the tension in his back miniscule as he concealed his worry. Lynn could do nothing but smile as he turned to her. "Right, commander Tabris?"

Lynn chuckled, unable to help herself and bowed her head. "Indeed it is king Theirin...I suppose I'll lead this attack?"

_Such an innocent question_... Alistair smirked at her. "Indeed you will...I'd suggest you leave a rearguard by the gate to repel any darkspawn from the force outside entering...but it's your choice."

"I'll keep that in mind." Lynn cocked her head to the side. "And where...will _you_ be?"

"I have a duty as king." _Yes_! Alistair grimaced, if only slightly. "I'll lead the rest of the army slightly west..." _Good, you've made a good decision_... She watched the man draw another line from the city walls to the left of their line. "Where the hilly and rocky terrain will make for a good defensive position, the city walls anchoring its left, the darkspawn will be torn between following your force and attacking the morsel my army will look like...but we'll hold them." _I_ _win_...Lynn grinned a bitter-sweet smile. "Of course...when the army is deployed I'll put Eamon in command as I'll come to fulfil my warden duties."

Lynn scoffed, pushing aside her worry at the thought. "Right, _suuure_ you will, with a darkspawn _army_ in between?"

Alistair's face split into a smirk as he looked down at her, arms crossed before him. "Just you wait and see..."

"Oh I _won't_ wait...sorry." Lynn shot in a wink, feeling...strange...the fear of _dying_, of him _actually_ making it over to them...it was so mixed with joy that she couldn't tell which from which. She leant towards him, still smirking as she pushed a finger into his chest. "You lose."

Alistair leant close, face splitting into a smug grin, his breath brushing against her face. "I doubt that, I'll catch up. I bet you won't even have time to secure the _gates_ before I'm there."

Lynn chuckled, briefly wondering if she'd gone insane even as the hand on his chest shot up to grab him by the hair as she chuckled. "Oh it's _on_."

A kiss, hard and demanding...sending a spike of excitement down her spine. _Yep, I've gone insane_.

When they pulled back they found Eamon clear his throat. "Majesty...we've...talked about this."

Alistair's eyes twinkled with amusement as he grinned at Lynn. "Shut up Eamon." Then he blinked and looked over her head, at the army. "Right, should get this going..." He shot Lynn a playful punch. "Back into the front ranks soldier, I'll see you later." He marched past her, towards his horse.

Lynn could only laugh, feeling as if madness had overcome her. "I doubt it." She moved though, putting herself along with her friends at the front of the now widening line of soldiers even as Alistair mounted the massive white gelding of his, looking every bit as the king he was. _I picked the horse after all_...Lynn grinned, watching the soldiers stare up at the silver armoured king upon his white horse. _It's the little things really_...she patted her breastplate, underneath where Alistair's rose had been tied to her chest, close to her heart.

Calming the snorting horse Alistair stared over the ranks of troops, all looking at him, seeing a man, a stranger…their king. Sure he had held a few speeches along the road, spoken with a few soldiers, tried to get to learn them. But there had been far too little time...and to them he was still a stranger. ""Fereldians! Countrymen!" The mumble along the ranks instantly ceased, making the sounds of the battle before them all the clearer, more _real_. Alistair's voice cut through it though, sharply, without hesitation. "Here the blight ends!"

There was a single cheer from some overeager soldier, all others stared at the man though, silent, worried.

Alistair smiled at them, calm. "I have _heard_ what you all have said...the fearful whispers of what awaits us!" A grumble arose from the troops, some shuffling their feet in worry. "I have _heard_ of what you have said of the _number_ of darkspawn before us! Of what our _chances_ are!" He held up his hand, beckoning for silence...then...slowly...lowered it. "Those numbers are _true_!"

Protests, mutters, _fear_.

Lynn watched Eamon move to stop Alistair, but waited herself, watching Alistair raise his hand to beckon for silence once more as he led his horse away from Eamon. "But to those of you that speak of these _numbers_! Those that speak of _retreat_! Those that speak of _leaving_ our weapons and seeking _shelter_ in castles or even _Orlais_! I ask only one thing of you!" He stopped, hand still raised, ordering them to silence...and they obeyed. "Smell the air."

Frowns, confusion, the odd sniffing...grimaces. Lynn shrugged, she only smelled death, burnt flesh and darkspawn, something she'd smelt for an eternity by now...

"Do you smell that?" Alistair cocked his head to the side, glaring at the troops as a few more grimaced. "Do you _smell_ that!?" A few more sniffing the air, grimaces, groans, soldiers paling under their helmets. "That is the smell of Denerim _burning_!" A low growl. "That is the smell of _Fereldians_ burning!" The growl rose in volume, a few weapons being drawn on instinct. "That is the smell of darkspawn _feasting_ upon _your_ people!" The growl rose, turned into a howl. Yet Alistair's voice cut through it: "That's the smell of darkspawn feasting upon your _families_!"

The howling turned into a roar, angry, primal, making the sounds of the battle below them disappear.

Alistair's raised fist silenced it though. His face a mask of fury as he held it out before him. "Do you _still_ want to retreat!?"

"No!" Someone shouted, another taking up the call even as weapons were raised in hatred, as if defying the Maker himself.

"I have _one_ command to you!" Alistair's shout silenced the army once more, index finger raised to amplify his point. "And that is to _kill_!"

The silence shattered once more, the army roaring out its approval.

"Kill!" Alistair clenched his fist as nearly half the army echoed his roar. "Kill!" The second half followed suit, roaring out an echo of Alistair's order: "Kill!"

"_Kill_!"

"_Kill_!"

Lynn found herself shouting as well, adding to the crescendo as the entire army roared out, _chanted_ the words, their roars _primal_, _feral_, making the air _shake_ with their _hatred_. "_**KILL**_! _**KILL**_! _**KILL**_!"

Wheeling his horse around Alistair drew his sword and swept it towards the burning city. "Kill!"

A final roar, devoid of any meaning but that of hatred...and they charged.

*

*

*

Her breath came out in short explosions. Hard and excited, the fear and joy of battle surging through her, making her fly through the main gate of Denerim that had been smashed open by the darkspawn, her axe decapitating one of them even as she entered the city. Eamon's soldiers hot on her heals as they outran the rest of their assault force.

The city was truly aflame, the stones of the road had been torn open, revealing a mire of bloodied mud wherever the darkspawn had gone...and they had gone _everywhere_. There wasn't a house that wasn't aflame, fighting still occurring in the entrances of several where civilians and whatever surviving troops made their last stand against the darkspawn that by now had begun to tear the city apart.

Many houses had already collapsed, their walls and roofs gaping open from great blows of ogres or having shattered by the sheer _heat_ of the many fires burning so close to them. There weren't many dead humans lying in the mud, most having been skewered on spears and pushed into the many fires as the darkspawn were wont to do...the air was heavy with the smell of burnt flesh.

It was disgusting, terrifying..._exciting_.

_Vengeance_. Lynn roared out, the soldiers pouring through the gate echoing her as they smashed into the spread out darkspawn, a tide of soldiers purging the monsters from the area around the gate, an unstoppable flood that the filth before them couldn't stand against.

_Die_! She rushed forward, wanting nothing but to kill _more_ of the beasts, to _feel_ the crunch and crash of combat, to _fight_!

_Breathe_. Two genlocks died to a low swing of her sword, another ending with her axe in its face as it turned to face her. _Breathe_. A clockwise swing and her sword cut off the arm of a hurlock, the swing turning into a thrust into the chest of another...that pinned could do nothing as her axe smashed its head off. _Breathe_. She rolled under the clumsy swing of a hurlock, her axe catching it in the knee even as her sword was thrust into the eye of a genlock...making both roar out as they fell.

She _fought_, they _died_, she fought _faster_...and _more_ died...and she _enjoyed_ it.

Then there was none left.

Surprised Lynn turned, finding the field around the gate devoid of living darkspawn, the field covered with trampled corpses, soaking the ground with their blood even as the humans and dwarves formed up their ranks once more, the dalish and mages along with the golems silently standing behind them, almost impatiently waiting for something new to do.

_The others_...Lynn moved, quickly finding the rest of her group huddled together, waiting for her. "Right, lets do as Alistair suggested and put up some sort of defence around the gate." Lynn nodded to the others, then shot the dwarves a look. "You there! Get the gate closed and barred!" A short grumble and the many dwarves went to work even as Lynn turned back to the others.

Leliana....breathing heavily in her Dalish leather armour...and near tears over the destruction around her...or perhaps just moved by how close they were to their quest. _I am too_...

Oghren, the dwarf strangely sober as he leant on his greatsword, eyes afire with the need to kill more. _I feel it too_...

Wynne, the old woman leaning heavily on her staff, but her stance straight, tired but not bowed. _Neither am I_...

Sten, the warrior solid and ready to fight against anything in his path, to die if necessary....

_Am I_?

Squaring her shoulders she focused on the qunari: "Sten, what do you need to hold this gate?"

There was no anger over being picked for such a duty, to be left behind, only a readiness to obey. "Give me the humans and the elves."

"Not the dwarves?" Lynn asked, surprised. "Surely they would be excellent for defending the gate..."

"They would." A pause. "Your mission takes priority though. Dwarves combined with mages will work excellently for that task."

"I..." _Huh_..._never_ _thought_ _about_ _that_. Lynn offered the giant a nod. "Good point, but can you _hold_ the breach with only those troops?" She narrowed her eyes at him. _No_ _martyrs_..._Maker_ _I'm_ _a_ _hypocrite_.

A nod, Sten steady as a rock. "Yes." _No_ _hesitation_...

"Good." Lynn nodded. "Leliana stays with you." Noticing the bard stiffening Lynn spoke quickly as she glared at Leliana. "He'll _need_ your bow." _Plus_ _you're_ _too_ _emotional_..._and_ _I_ _don't_ _want_ _you_ _to_..._see_. "You stay and defend the gate and that's _final_."

"I...yes." Leliana nodded, looking ready to cry, then managed a trembling smile. "But you owe me one."

Lynn smiled, the lie easily slipping past her lips. "I'll buy you a drink later, we'll make an evening out of it." Focusing back to the two remaining she spoke short and crisply. "Oghren." _The outcast leading the dwarven army, amusing_... "Wynne." _Should be Morrigan_... Lynn shook aside the regret and amusement, feeling dread close around her heart as she gave the order. "You're with me, we're going for Fort Drakon with the rest of the army." _To_ _fight_ _the_ _archdemon_..._Maker_... "Now let's-"

A crashing sound and she whirled around, seeing a blurry shape smash through the near closed city gate.

_No_!

Alistair's silver armour was streaked with darkspawn blood, as was his horse...that looked more like a porcupine than a horse anymore with all the arrows sticking out of it...and he rode right for them! With the visor to his helmet open she could see his grin, the _victory_...and she _hated_ it at that moment.

A small shriek and the horse tumbled to the ground, dead, sending Alistair flying forward. He rolled with the impact though, coming up on one knee before her, all grins. "See? Told you I'd make it." With a thud the door closed. _Too_ _late_... Lynn glared at the dwarves, then down at Alistair, who just smirked. "The rest of the army is in position, as the _king_ promised, now the _warden_ is here..."

Lynn shook her head, angry, happy, relieved, terrified. "I..._how_ did you _do_ that!?"

Rising to his feet Alistair shrugged, that wonderfully awkward smile on his lips. "Defy the odds? It sort of comes with the territory of both being a king and a warden."

"I..._fine_...you'll aid Sten in the defence of the gate!" Lynn snapped, glaring up at the man as she closed her fists in irritation. _I_ _can't_..._damn you_!

"Sorry, not listening." Alistair smirked, head cocked to the side, chuckling at her, _chuckling_!

"I..." Lynn wanted to kiss him...yet that would run counter to what she _really_ wanted. "...no! You stay _here_! That's an _order_!" If the others wondered why they were arguing no one said it, their eyes focused elsewhere, letting the two have their moment.

Alistair's smug smile went from ear to ear as he leant a bit forward, one finger raised as he counted. "One, king." Another finger. "Two, senior warden." A third finger. "Three, not giving a damn about yours or anyone's orders."

Lynn blinked, baffled. _But_..._you're_..._Alistair_!? "No!" She jabbed his chest with her finger, glaring at him, wanting to _hurt_ him, to _kiss_ him, to just...kill him and lose herself in him at the same time! "You can't...with last night...no! That's unfair!" A look of guilt passed Alistair's face at the words and Lynn pressed the advantage. "You will not! You will _not_ be that _selfish_!"

Alistair hesitated, then smirked. "I don't know...I kind of like it." _Wha_...? "Besides..." The smirk widened. "...by all _logic_ I'm coming with you." _Oh you son of a_... "Two wardens, one archdemon, I'd prefer to outnumber it."

"_Outnumber_...good one." Oghren chuckled.

Lynn shot the dwarf a glare...only to find Alistair already marching off as she turned back to him. The man waved his hands at the dwarves and mages, the golems following on some deep instinct. "Come now! _Forward_! To Fort Drakon and _glory_!" A roar of approval rose from the dwarves as they moved to follow the king, the mages and golems decidedly less impressed as they followed.

_I_..._that_ _wonderful_..._bastard_..._I_... Lynn wasn't sure if she was supposed to be happy or sad that Alistair would be with her to the end. That he would force the issue, trying to be the one to end it... Did she want that? _No_... Neither did she want him there if she was the one to do it..._yet_...she _did_!

Blinking she shook her head, realising she was about to be left behind. "Oh hell no..."

With a growl she moved to catch up.

_If he wants a race he's got it_...

**

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the approval._


	71. Chapter 71

They were making good progress.

The darkspawn, though many, were spread out over the city, disorganized, unprepared for the solid flood of dwarves, mages and golems that crushed its way through the main street, killing anything in its path.

Thousands of darkspawn already lay dead, trampled into the dirt by the machine that was the wardens' assault force.

They had taken a few losses, a mage had been felled by a random arrow, a near fifty dwarves had died to the resistance in the front, three golems had fallen as the flood's flanks, that the constructs guarded, were charged by darkspawn again and again.

It was nothing compared to the losses of the darkspawn, yet wouldn't be enough...then again they weren't _trying_ to destroy the _entire_ darkspawn army, in fact they were moving fast to _avoid_ engaging it, moving towards Fort Drakon where the archdemon was still tearing away at whatever defenders remained, ripping great holes in the walls of the tower.

Lynn and Alistair were at the head of the horde, Oghren a growling shadow of them, even the berserker unable to match the fury of the two as they acted as the tip of the charge. Lynn was sure she'd personally killed over a hundred darkspawn already, her armour covered in gore, her helmet lost in the rush of combat. It was no real loss however...the darkspawn couldn't _touch_ her, just as they couldn't touch _Alistair_ anymore. They charged on...and all before them died.

Nothing could stop them, no wall of Ogres, no fireballs, no genlock ambushes, no mad charges of hurlocks, _nothing_.

Nothing but an elf, suddenly standing before them, small and shaking.

Lynn slid to a stop, a hand raised to call a halt as she blinked the darkspawn blood out of her eyes. Behind her she was dimly aware of the disciplined dwarves and golems coming to a near mechanical stop, the taller mages spread out among them grumbling as they were forced to stop as well by the crowd surrounding them. It was only background sound though, a mutter at her back as she stared at the little red-headed girl before her.

"Shi...Shianni!?" Lynn blinked again, not believing her eyes. The girl, no, woman, stood before them, bow in hand...and stared at them.

"Ly-Lynn!?" Her cousin stammered, staring in shock. "I...I saw tr-troops and th-thought I'd ca-call for help! I...I didn't thi-think it would be you!" She looked over Lynn's shoulder, at the solid ranks behind the warden. Her voice but a mutter, almost jealous. "Taller indeed..."

_No_ _time_. Lynn shrugged the words aside and stepped closer, hand landing on Shianni's shoulder, making the woman wince. "You said call for help right? What help do you need?" Shianni opened her mouth, no words coming as she stared at Lynn. _Must_ _hurry_, _no_ _time_. "Speak up!"

"Th-they're cl-close to br-breaking i-into the alienage!" Shianni stammered, taking a step away from Lynn even as Alistair stepped close to his fellow warden, silent yet expressing his impatience, making Lynn reach back to put a hand on his chest. _I know, wait_. "Th-they're all over the southern bridge! W-we can't hold them!"

_My_ _people_..._but_..._duty_..._think_. Turning she eyed Alistair, meeting his gaze as he opened the visor to his helmet. _Technically_ _it_ _is_ _a_ _short_-_cut_.

The man narrowed his eyes and shook his head. _No, the bridge will be a bottle neck, we would be pinned down if we tried to take that path_.

Lynn nodded. _But if we don't do anything the darkspawn will get across and hit us in the flank with a good force_.

A moment to think, then a nod. _Agreed, __we'll__ do the bottlenecking then_.

Turning back to Shianni Lynn found her cousin staring at the pair in confusion. "Me and Alistair will come with you." Shianni visibly slumped at the words even as Lynn turned back to the army. "Golems! With me!" The three remaining constructs instantly moved to obey even as Lynn gestured for a surly looking Oghren. "Oghren, lead them onwards, we'll catch up before you reach the palace."

Alistair cleared his throat. "Perhaps I should continue and try to reach-"

"No." Lynn snapped, shooting him a glare. _Don't you try that_...

A small shrug, an awkward smile. _Was worth a shot_.

A laugh, short and shaking...and Lynn whirled back to gesture for Shianni. "Let's go."

"Th-those are big..." Shianni muttered, eyeing the three golems now up close, dwarfing her. "Th-they fo-follow your co-command?"

Another short laugh even as Lynn moved, forcing Shianni to move with her as they begun jogging towards the alienage. "You know me, always bossing people around."

"Y-yeah..."

The alienage was still standing, the slumped houses the only ones in Denerim _not_ on fire...Lynn found that oddly amusing and feld another strange laugh escape her. She stared at the houses as they moved past them, at the tree, still standing, her house...and it...didn't mean _anything_ to her anymore. It was just houses, a street, a tree...not her home, not anything she valued. For what was the home without its...

Lynn eyed the thirty elves with their bows at the ready as they stood near the closed southern gate to the alienage, all staring at the new arrivals, the golems in particular...and saw something amiss. "Where's father? And Soris?"

Shianni flinched at the questions, turning slowly as she looked over at Lynn, then looked away. _No_... "I...they...many tried to leave..." _No_... She gestured back the way they had come, biting her lower lip as she blinked away the tears. "...they didn't...get far."

_Cousin_..._Dada_...Lynn's shoulders slumped in defeat.

_Pain_.

She felt it...part of her..._dying_.

Then Alistair was there, hand on her shoulder, comforting and reminding at the same time.

She hated him at that moment.

But straightened. _Duty_. She looked over the thirty elves, noting their short bows and simple tunics with an internal sigh. _Work with what you got_. "Right, we defend the gate, take up positions on the walls by it and put up a crossfire."

"A crossfire?" Someone muttered, confusion and fear etched in the elven faces.

"Y-you d-don't...Lynn?" Shianni stared at her cousin, disbelief in the woman's eyes, unspoken questions slamming into Lynn, wondering how she could just shrug the news off.

Lynn ignored her, eyes hard as the focused on the man that had muttered the question. "Crossfire too difficult? Just shoot as fast as you can into the entrance, we'll deal with the rest."

"L-Lynn?" Shianni's question rang out, small and irritating.

_No, they're dead, as part of me is, grief will come_... She looked up at Fort Drakon, seeing the archdemon swing about to tear part of its wall out so it could breathe its fire into the hole. _Or vengeance will_. A small laugh, shaking. "Let's go."

As one, the elves sprung into action, rushing towards the creaking wooden gate, climbing up the stairs to the small wall flanking the gate, some of them already firing off arrows into the mass of darkspawn no doubt behind it while others ducked and waited. Ignoring Shianni's questioning look Lynn gestured for the golems to follow, darting finger ordering the three into position even as the gate before her creaked and cracked under a far too familiar impact. _Ogre_, _got_ _it_. She changed the position of the golems accordingly.

And next to her Alistair stood, silent, sympathetic, _hers_.

She shot him a mad grin. "This'll be fun won't it?"

"Yeah..." He looked down at her, eyes burning with worry through his now closed visor. "...sure."

Lynn hissed at the worry, angry, hurt...and _embracing_ it, pulling it close to her heart...feeling it boil within her, painful and wonderful at the same time. _Vengeance_... she raised her head, looked up at the archdemon far away...and smiled.

With a crash of splintering wood the gate gave way, forcing her back to the present.

The ogre crashed through the gate, now split in two. Coming to a halt in front of her it spread its arms wide and pushed its face forward, roaring in rage.

A second later the two golems on its flanks closed in, stone arms wrapping themselves around the ogre's arms, pushing them back behind its back with a crack, drawing a howl from the beast even as the third golem stepped forwards. The golem's hands closed onto both sides of the ogre's head as the golem stepped closer, stone arms flexing as it begun to _push_...

A wailing howl escaped the ogre, its arms shaking as it tried to break free out of the grip of the three golems...only to go limp as its head was crushed with a fleshy crunch.

The two golems gripping its arms pulled, swung...and suddenly released the ogre, sending the large corpse flying into the horde behind it, crushing many of the smaller creatures that with the large crowd couldn't get out of the way.

"Hold the gate!" Lynn shouted the order, making all three golems take up position where the gate had once been, fists the size of the torsos of those they fought rising and falling, crushing armour, flesh and bone with equal ease.

Behind them the elven archers begun to loose their arrows in earnest, darting pinpricks slipping past the hulking golems and slaying creature after creature of the horde struggling to get in.

More death, Lynn and Alistair only watching as the ground before the golems was turned into a red paste, the dead darkspawn before them being turned into mush by the fists now black with blood descending upon them.

Then the golem to the left stumbled, a genlock mace striking its knee before the golem's fist tore the shrieking creature's arm off. Then a fireball struck it head on.

While the explosion only rocked and scorched the two others, the already damaged and imbalanced golem slipped, fell backwards...and shattered.

Alistair was there a moment later, taking its place, shield darting out to smash the skull in on a hurlock as his flashing blade cleaved the arm off another.

Then a spell of cold struck out, freezing a dozen darkspawn...along with both golems. _Emissary_...a growl escaped Lynn as she rushed forward, watching the rightmost golem list forwards as its legs begun to give she leapt upon its back, aiding it in its descent and using it as a ramp as she rushed forward...and leapt off it.

With a crunch the golem crashed to the ground, shattering the still frozen darkspawn beneath it as Lynn flew through the air, teeth bared at the carpet of darkspawn beneath her as she looked for..._there_!

Now falling Lynn descended upon the hurlock emissary staring up at her, the creature's arms weaving to cast a spell. _Too_ _late_. A crunch and Lynn's armoured boot crushed the skull of the genlock she landed on as her axe swept downwards...cleaving the skull of the emissary in two and sending its spell wildly off course, the darting bolt of lightning leaping from darkspawn to darkspawn instead of as intended.

Ducking low Lynn raised her sword over her shoulder blades, parrying three blades descending upon her as the darkspawn surrounding her closed in to take their vengeance on her.

_I __am__ vengeance_!

Pushing up with her legs she forced the blades aside as she leapt up and spun, her axe and sword the edge of the whirlwind that was her body. An explosion of blood, the whirlwind _growing_ as welts of blood was sent flying...and darkspawn all around her fell dead.

The darkspawn were all around her, madness and hatred made form, covered in the blood of those already felled, their dead lying between her and them...and they hesitated, afraid.

_Never__ hesitate_! Lynn leapt upon the horde, swinging axe cleaving through two hurlocks' skulls in an explosion of gore as her sword went through a throat of a third, her right foot coming down upon the knee of a genlock, sending it crashing into the mud with a pitiful shriek.

_Never__ back down_! Howling Lynn jumped onto the wounded genlock, using it as a platform to leap upon the chest of a hurlock, sending it flying into a dozen others and knocking them all down even as she spun with her landing, flashing sword cutting the leg off a hesitating hurlock before a backhand swing of her axe took the genlock about to sneak up behind her in the face, splitting its face in two.

_Never__ fear_! She rushed onto the dozen hurlocks struggling to get up, axe and sword tearing into them, sending heads and limbs flying. Spinning she confronted those she had already passed and rushed into them, forcing them towards the gate where Alistair now stood alone. Atop a mound of dead golems and darkspawn he was an immovable object that killed anything within reach, leaving only a few genlocks to sneak past him...to get mowed down by the elven archers behind him.

Victory, death, fear, pain, it was all the same.

Howling, Lynn leapt further in among the crowded darkspawn, a clockwise spin and swing cleaving a hurlock's arm off at the shoulder with her sword as her axe sliced the head off a genlock. A duck under an ungainly swing and she spun counter-clockwise, axe gutting a hurlock as another was skewered by her sword and pushed backwards into the others.

Death, pain, death, pain, _death_!

And then it was over.

Breathing heavily, covered in stinging darkspwan blood, Lynn looked around herself. Finding the ground before and a few feet within the gate to the alienage covered in dead darkspawn, their blood and guts sinking into the dirt, turning it into black mud. The golems were barely even visibly anymore, the three broken constructs covered with the dead darkspawn, creating a new wall where the gate was supposed to be.

Victory.

Lynn looked over to the wall next to the gate, finding a few genlocks hanging from the ladder she'd never noticed them put up against it, a few more lying atop it...along with a _single_ elf.

Defeat.

_Not_ _fair_...Lynn sheathed her weapons, her movement oddly calm as she stared at the pale corpse, the tousled red hair streaked with blood, the great hole torn across its stomach, leaving coiling intestines to slowly slide out. Lying on her side Shianni looked almost peaceful, her shattered bow still in hand as her head rested on one arm, the other shorn off at the elbow. _Not_ _fair_...

And gathering by the gate, smiling, happy to be alive...were all other elves, safe, _alive_...because _they_ hadn't defended the wall and the flanking genlocks with their lives!

_Not_ _fair_!

She shook...but _didn't_ shout, _didn't_ weep, _didn't_ cry out...she only took a deep breath, her stomach knotting up in pain as she felt it again, deep within her.

Something...dying.

Alistair was covered in blood of his foes...and smiling as he stepped closer, then stopped, his head turning to follow her stare...what he saw made him stiffen. "Lynn..." No further words escaped him.

Turning away Lynn felt her hands clench into fists as she glared up, up towards Fort Drakon, at the archdemon. _Close_...._vengeance_.

It hurt, it felt good, it was grief, it was joy...it was _hers_!

"No!" His growl was loud, angry, hand on her shoulder.

"Yes." Lynn hissed, shrugging the hand off as she advanced towards the bridge leading further into the city, closer to her goal.

"No!" Alistair roared in fury, marching next to her, his eyes boring into her skull.

"_Yes_." Lynn replied, weapons drawn once more as she looked away from the archdemon and down at its pitiful minions fearfully massing a defence on the other side of the bridge ahead of her.

"_No_!" Alistair's fury seared into her, burnt her. His _fear_, his _pain_, his _defiance_...it _hurt_...and brought her _joy_.

"Oh yes..." Lynn began to march over the bridge, her arms taking a practice swing with her bloodied weapons as she watched the darkspawn wait on the other side, making small lunges at her, barking like the dogs they were.

Her gore-covered face split into a grin.

_I am vengeance, I am your death_.

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson...lots. :-p_


	72. Chapter 72

Something was wrong.

Leliana almost smirked at the thought. In front of her the gate remained closed, yet it was being slowly smashed open by whatever horror awaited on the other side...and above the ruined walls of the city she could see arrows streak through the air in great volleys back and forth as the darkspawn and Fereldian army fought, the sound of their clash of arms echoing through the air.

Nothing was right at the moment.

Yet she had sensed that something was amiss in the great battle. Lynn and Alistair had been acting...oddly...almost mad...and that worried Leliana.

_Can't do much about it though_. She sighed and looked over at the gate as it visibly bent under some great force._ Bet it's an ogre, it always is_...

The odds weren't with them. The men Eamon had supplied were less then a hundred in numbers, even with their heavy armour and broad shields Leliana felt a surge of worry that they would just be swept away by the horde about to enter. Deployed in crisp ranks between the deep ditches they had dug along the sides of the open area before the gate Eamon's soldiers were in ten men wide formation, less then ten ranks behind them. _Ten_ _ranks_...all that stood between the darkspawn and entering the city.

The Dalish were less than a hundred too...deployed in thin lines behind each ditch, atop the mounds of earth the digging had produced and a frightfully thin line of sharpened stakes stuck in the still soft dirt...all that would deter the darkspawn from simply swarming them instead of the soldiers opposite the gate. Many eyed Leliana and her Dalish leather armour, challenges in their eyes. She did nothing about it though, only smiled. _I have nothing left to prove_.

Less then two hundred against...how many darkspawn were behind the gate? Thirty thousand? Even if most of them charged the main Fereldian army outside the city Leliana didn't like the odds.

_The Maker doesn't care for odds though_. Leliana smirked. _He would not bring us here just to fail_.

Standing behind the ditch to the right Leliana was still close to the ranks of Eamon's men, her bow strung and ready to aid the Dalish in pouring arrows into the soon to be breached gateway.

And she didn't like what she saw.

The Dalish were worried, eyeing the city walls with something close to fear, as if the walls were more dangerous than the thousands of darkspawn were about to enter. Many of them jumped in fear as one of the burning houses loudly collapsed, their eyes darting from the house to the still somewhat intact city walls, as if expecting them to crush the Dalish within seconds. _Guess they've never seen a city properly_...

The humans in their 'army' were a little better off, with their full helmets on Leliana couldn't really see their faces, but they looked more ready, more focused, eyes fixed on the gate, ready to fight. They owed the survival of their families back in Redcliffe to the wardens after all, and none would shirk that duty...and besides, they were in the burning remains of their capital, retreating _wasn't_ an option. _Still, I can smell their nervousness_...Leliana couldn't blame them, her own heart beating heavily.

The only one not nervous, or at least not showing it, was Sten.

The qunari stood next to her, his sword drawn, his massive dragon bone armour black with darkspawn blood from their initial charge, head still bared, revealing his knotted white hair. _It almost looks like silver with all the black blood covering him_... Leliana smiled as she spoke: "You should talk to them."

He turned to look at her, violet eyes calm, collected, as always. "What?" Even now, with the horde about to descend upon them...he was calm, there was no doubt about it. _Maker_ _I_ _envy_ _you_...Leliana smiled, content. _It's good that you're here, a blessing among many_. "Yes?" His voice never revealed any irritation, but a _second_ question was a _clear_ indication of it.

Chuckling Leliana nodded towards the Dalish still eyeing the crumbling walls with horror, then the humans staring at the gate groaning under the assault of the darkspawn. "You should talk to them, motivate them."

"Are they children?" Sten asked, glancing at the Dalish with what had to be displeasure, then the humans. He returned to look at Leliana, and she could feel his internal frown. "These are our soldiers? The elves fears the shadows and the humans their enemies, this would not do among the qunari."

"They're not qunari silly, talk to them." Leliana prodded Sten's chest with her bow, smirking at him. "You'll be surprised what a few words can do..."

For a moment Sten just stood there, then shook his head as he puffed: "Parshaara! I will do this, if only to silence any whining when they get hurt."

With that he was off, making Leliana chuckle as she watched him march through the ranks of Eamon's men, the troops splitting before him, letting him through until he stood before them all.

All eyes were upon the qunari, even the Dalish, so fearful of the walls close around them, looked to him. All willing, _needing_, to hear a few words of comfort.

_Maybe I should have done this_? Leliana thought as she watched Sten turn to face them, the qunari resting the tip of his blade in the mud as he met their eyes with his unnatural steady purple ones.

None but Leliana could meet that gaze.

"Hold the line." A pause. "Kill the darkspawn." Another pause, the qunari freeing his sword as he begun to march back to his place. "Don't retreat."

The soldiers split ranks again, letting the qunari through, many staring at him, or rather his sword, probably wondering what would happen to them if they _did_ retreat. The Dalish stared in equal wonder, expecting...more.

No more would come though, Sten stepping up next to the smirking Leliana, the qunari noting her arched eyebrow with a puff of irritation. Turning to look back at the gate the man grunted. "Talking is for humans."

Leliana laughed, unable to help herself, easily ignoring the stares of the troops around them. "I'll remember that! Note to self; Sten hates holding speeches, makes him nervous."

The qunari didn't reply, not rising to the teasing, as he never did. Instead he just looked over at the gate, waiting, patient, calm.

"This is the stuff of legends you know." Leliana remarked, turning to look at the gate as it visible trembled under the onslaught aimed at it. "A few hundred standing against a seamlessly endless number of evil creatures, ready to give all for land and king." Her smile grew, content. "The Maker would approve, this is _his_ work you know, we will succeed because we have to succeed, because that is his wish." Leliana usually kept a lid on the Maker talk when with the others, Lynn had clearly not been all that comfortable with it. But _now_...who could blame her? "We have found the ashes, and they healed the man responsible for gathering all the nobles and making Alistair king. Is that not a sign? And now we stand here, _his_ men all that stands between Lynn's back and the darkspawn horde...don't you find that funny? It is as if the Maker's hand has been guiding us all along, prepared us for-"

Something small, yellow and white, right in front of her nose, stopping her mid-sentence. Blinking Leliana focused on the little thing held out before her by a pair of gauntleted hands that by all right should have crushed it.

Crushed the _cookie_...

Leliana smiled and reached out with the hand not clutching her bow, taking the offered morsel. Surprised she realised it was clean of blood and even smelled sweetly, nearly freshly baked...her smiled widened as she regarded it. "I never _did_ find out where you hid these...did I?"

"No." A crunch as Sten chewed on his own cookie. "You didn't."

Leliana's smile grew as she looked over at Sten. "You're not going to tell me..._are_ you!?"

There it was, a small twitch in the corner of his lips, so small one might have missed it. "No."

She had made Sten smile.

Her smile grew painfully wide as she looked back at the gate, content to chew on the little morsel in silence. Content to wait, with Sten, for their last challenge, to do the Maker's will, together.

She'd never tasted anything sweeter.

Finally the gate groaned as a hinge snapped loose, the improvised bars the dwarves had across the gate falling to the ground. A glance told Leliana all was in place, the nervousness was still there, but there wasn't much to do about it...

Then Leliana found her mouth moving even as she swallowed the last of the cookie: "_hahren na melana sahlin_..." The elves jumped at the soft words, staring at her, the humans doing the same, not understanding the ancient elven song of grief and hope. It wasn't needed though. "..._emma ir abelas_..." Leliana closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling herself shiver in...happiness? "..._souver'inan isala hamin_..."

Another bar across the gate fell, the steel gate buckling as it begun to give. "..._vhenan him dor'felas_..." Suddenly others begun to add to her voice, the Dalish joining her. "..._in uthenera na revas_..."

A crash, pieces of steel bending outwards of the gate, revealing something massive behind it, ripping at the hole, making it larger. "..._vir sulahn'nehn_..." Another rip, sending the last bar covering the gate to fall to the ground. "..._vir dirthera_..." A shove, the debris at the foot of the gate digging into the mud, stopping the gate from opening. "..._vir samahl_..." Another shove, sending much of the debris ploughing into the mud, unable to resist the force of the attack. "..._la numin_..." Leliana smiled, watching the gate crash open. "..._vir__lath_ _sa'vunin_'..."

With a roar the ogre entered through the smashed gate. It was larger then the normal ones, its chest, legs and arms covered in white scares, skin gnarled, almost black...a monster among monsters.

Leliana wasn't afraid however, she had seen the face of many a monster, this was but another one.

Arrows were loosed, pouring into the roaring ogre already advancing upon the humans. Many simply bounced off its thick hide however, others digging into it before limply dropping off...and the few actually sticking into it didn't seem to even faze it as it rumbled forward. Its lumbering movement was deceptive and Leliana realised it would just take moments before it smashed into the ranks of Eamon's men, before it ended the battle before it had even begun.

"We will stop it." Sten growled at her, making her nod as she drew her bow at the ready, eyes focused on the head of the ogre even as she felt Sten walk backwards, down the mound she herself stood on.

Its head swung back and forth with is steps, left, right, left, right...a slight twitch of its head as it swung left... Leliana took a deep breath..._calm_... left, right, left, right..._left_! The arrow flew true, hitting the ogre just as the twitch of its head ended and it swung it back towards the right...and striking the beast right in the left eye.

A howl and the ogre stumbled in its steps, right hand coming up to stem the sudden tide of black blood pouring over its face even as the left was raised the swipe aside the rain of Dalish arrows that continued to strike it.

Then Sten passed by her. A mere blur he rushed past her right...up the mound...and jumped...easily clearing the sharpened stakes of covering the slope of the mound as he flew towards the Ogre with his greatsword held high. The ogre was still raising its left hand to cover itself from the many arrows thudding into it when Sten, a different kind of missile, swung his sword.

Another howl and the Ogre stumbled backwards, its left arm shorn off at the elbow, the massive limb landing in the mud next to Sten. Still howling the Ogre's right arm lunged for the qunari responsible for its dismemberment...only to have the man take a quick step to the left and sever its hand off.

The howl lengthened, became so loud it hurt Leliana's ears...and then ended as Sten's third swing came, a horizontal slash opening its abdomen and sending dark blood and intestines pouring out.

A low groan...and the Ogre fell backwards, crashing into the mud, dead.

There was no time to enjoy the victory though, Sten was already running for the closed ranks of the human soldiers as a flood of darkspawn poured through the open gates. With the Ogre distracting them the flood had managed to enter through the gate virtually unmolested and it was already a seizable force in the wrong end the bottleneck the gate made that was rushing towards them.

These ones _felt_ the arrows thudding into them though.

Along the two ditches the near hundred elves opened up, loosing their arrows into a horde at such a distance that they could not miss....and the darkspawn fell, the whole first line dropping into the mud...the second as well...as did the third, the rest stumbling over their dead. Volley after volley smashed into the darkspawn, slaying the outermost without mercy, especially at the flanks where the elves stood, funnelling the beasts forward, towards the waiting ranks of Ferelden soldiers.

Leliana watched with a worried eye the darkspawn rush towards the waiting soldiers even as she added to the arrow storm, sending missile after missile into the monsters with mechanical precision.

A crash of steel against steel and the first darkspawn stumbled into the closed ranks or the humans.

They might as well have rushed into a wall.

Swords flicked out, darting thrusts and slashes of silver, creating fountains of crimson blood. Shields struck out, sending darkspawn flying, tumbling, making them look like children.

At the forefront of them Sten stood, nearly two heads taller then the humans he swung his sword high and fast, a scythe killing anything approaching, making many darkspawn draw back when they should have charged forth, turning the charge into a stumbling fumbling.

More arrows, accurate as only Dalish and Leliana could be, thudded into the thinning force, felling more of the beasts, making them drop on top of their already dead or in what few places where there was still mud left. More swords flicking out, creating a small wall before Sten and his soldiers as they hewed the darkspawn apart.

The darkspawn wouldn't stop coming though, the open gate vomiting the horrors forth at them in an unending stream, the beasts stumbling on their dead as they continued, many stomping their fallen into pulp in eagerness to close the distance.

"Leliana!" Sten's voice cut through the din of battle, calm and harsh. "The gate!" Leliana didn't need to even look at the qunari, she knew what he meant and automatically directed her arrows towards the gate, the Dalish around her following her example felling many of the charging darkspawn before they even passed the gateway.

But on the darkspawn came...along with a rain of arrows.

Looking up Leliana could only stare at the arrows arching over the wall, blindly loosed from darkspawn behind it in the hope of hitting those resisting them entering the city. Most of them actually landed in the ground between the gate and the defenders, more of a danger to the charging darkspawn then their opponents. Some reached the defenders though, making many scream out in surprise and pain. Especially among the tightly packed humans resisting the main onslaught of the darkspawn.

Despite that they held. Even as Leliana threw them a glance the front rank, covered in gore, withdrew as the next stepped forth, fresh arms swinging swords into the darkspawn that continued to pour into the still solid block.

Instead it was the Dalish that wavered, the one just next to Leliana crying out as an arrow lodged itself in his shoulder...before going silent as another struck him in the throat. The others, largely unscathed thanks to their thin line and nearly being out of range of the random rain of the darkspawn arrows...were drawing back though, wide eyes glancing up at the sky even as they continued to fire their arrows, now largely without aiming them since they now were _behind_ the mound they'd been standing on.

"Get back here!" Leliana loosed a final arrow into the throat of a hurlock before taking a step down from the mound and glaring at the Dalish drawing back. "By all that is holy...you must fight!" A few head shaking, fear, the fact that the Dalish were _hunters_, not _warriors_, made painfully clear.

_Maker no_..._think_! _Lynn_..._she_ _would_...

Rushing back upon the mound Leliana glared back at the Dalish with her best Lynn-impersonation...and scoffed. The _human_ scoffing at the fearful _elves_, the _human_ knowing they _wouldn't_ hold, knowing they were _cowards_.

It worked.

Glaring at her the Dalish pushed forward, rushing back up the mound and loosening a frightful volley into the darkspawn that had begun to approach their trench, felling them. "Good! Keep it up against the ones at the gate! Kill the ones at the gate!" It was easy to ignore the glares of the Dalish under her command as she loosed another arrow towards the gate, sending a squealing genlock backwards into the pile of dead it had just climbed over.

_Thank_ _you_ _Lynn_.

The arrows continued to rain over them, slaying the odd elf. But their own volleys didn't slacken though, they continued to slay the darkspawn struggling to get through, ignoring the ones already inside as the now advancing humans tore them apart. A disciplined wall of steel and muscles that chewed through any resistance as it slowly advanced towards the gate over the piles of dead darkspawn.

_We're_ _winning_. _Maker_ _be_ _praised_ _we're_ _winning_!

Then she saw it.

The arrow.

It was just another arrow, another one in the rain of crude black missiles launched over the wall by the desperate darkspawn...but Leliana saw it with painful clarity as it arched over the wall, wobbled...and begun its descent.

The darkspawn were struggling to get in but it was a fruitless struggle now, too many of their dead were in the way, and there was no room to get in anyway as the Ferelden soldiers closed the distance. It was a wonder, a miracle, _their_ miracle.

_Maker_, _thank_ _you_.

A thud.

And Leliana could no longer breathe.

Opening her mouth she tried to speak, but no words came, her eyes flicking down to the arrow. Only the feathers off it were sticking up from her, the rest lodged in her flesh, right above the collarbone and her armour. _Deep_..._a_ _lung_..._it_ _will_ _be_ _fast_.

_Maker_, _thank_ _you_ _for_ _your_ _blessings_...

She struggled with the growing panic of her body as her mind tried to drift away, counting her blessings. _Can't_ _breathe_... Turning she dropped her bow, her hands moving upwards, clutching at the arrow even as she looked over at Fort Drakon, the dark tower in sharp contrast to the burning sun setting beneath it. _Beautiful_...

_Maker, I have no fear_...

_Can't breathe_! Her knees buckled, cool mud closing around her legs, soothing the sudden fire that seemed to spread just beneath her skin. Her shaking hands scratched at her skin, slipping on the arrow slick with blood as they vainly tried to pull it out. She kept looking over at the tower though, seeing the archdemon elegantly soar around it, tearing at the walls, the burning sun behind it making the whole city become alive with warm orange lights and deep shadows. _Beautiful_...

_For_ _I_ _know_ _that_...she blinked...her vision becoming narrow and blurred. _I_ _know_... A wheeze escaped her, blood bubbling out of her lips as her body screamed at her. _Can't_ _breathe_! She blinked, her body twitching as it gave up, her narrowed vision watching the orange glow of the sun turn into pure white. _Beautiful_... She smiled _I_ _know_ _you_ _await_...

And the light embraced her.

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for the blessing._


	73. Chapter 73

She was _vengeance_.

Vengeance for her family, vengeance for Zevran, for Marby, for the suffering they'd all been put through, for her nightmares, for the pains, for the loss, for the fear that had haunted her ever since Ostagar!

He was _fury_.

Fury for Ferelden, for his dead subjects' sake, for the wardens, for Lynn being as she was, for the archdemon, for the blight, for the growing fear that he'd at the moment cast aside. Fury over all that the blight meant!

Together they were _death_.

The death of _darkspawn_, the death of the _blight_, the death of _reason_.

The royal palace was aflame, its doors and walls smashed open, its roof collapsed, long tongues of fire reaching out from it, reaching towards the sky. There was a set of stairs to the right of the palace that reached up towards Fort Drakon, another set to the left of the palace. The stairs were covered in the blood and bodies of the defenders of the city as they had retreated, the blood still pumping out of many of the dead, unseeing eyes staring up at the sky, as if to ask the Maker for deliverance.

The stairs to the left side of the palace was being scaled by Oghren and the fifty remaining dwarves marching on. They had lost all but one mage, and Wynne was more or less carried by the still solid ranks of dwarves as they continued on. Even dwarves, used to harsh losses and heavy fighting should have broken by now, but they _saw_ the archdemon above them, _knew_ what was at stake...and _continued_ their march, hacking aside anything barring their path.

The right set of stairs was scaled by Lynn and Alistair _alone_...and their progress was _faster_.

All of that was but a hazy picture to Lynn though, her mind and body focused on wreaking havoc upon darkspawn with Alistair, darkspawn that _couldn't_ stand against the two.

Two genlocks leapt from the stairs towards her, she took a step to the left as her sword darted out, gutting both. She spun clockwise with the impact, axe catching another genlock in the knee and dismembering it even as the overhand swing of her sword cleaved a hurlock's head in two. She was barely aware of herself breathing anymore, the breaths coming out in short puffs and making the blood covering her face bubble around her lips.

To her right the now bareheaded Alistair roared in defiance, swinging shield smashing the head off a hurlock as his sword skewered another, heaving it into the arms of another two and crushing them both underfoot as the two continued their assault up the stairs, leaving a trail of broken bodies behind them.

There was pain. Pain over the losses, over the grief, over the knowledge that she herself had been burnt away...and Lynn knew nothing but joy for it. There was fear, fear of what she would do, about what might happen, about what would never happen, it was worse then any nightmare...yet Lynn felt nothing but joy at it as she embraced it, held onto it as if it was her dearest of friends.

She laughed, she wept, she killed.

And it was good.

She wasn't even aware of the darkspawn trickling away from fighting the dwarves on the other side of the palace grounds, of their desperation to stop the meteoric advance of the two wardens that tore through them like a storm. She was only aware of the _pain_, of the _fear_, of the _joy_.

The backhand swing of her axe tore a genlock's chest apart, making it stumble into a hurlock and smashed it into the wall to her left. A leap, a kick...and the hurlock's skull was turned to pulp as Lynn spun through the air, scything weapons ripping apart three other darkspawn in the blink of an eyes, covering the stairs with their blood. Her axe moved with a life of its own, parrying a swing towards her back without her even having to turn around, her kick back breaking the knee of the hurlock even as her sword flicked out, slitting the throat of another.

Joy.

Alistair was there, swinging shield taking a hurlock in the abdomen, lifting it up and hurling it over his head as if it weighed nothing. His sword swept out, slicing into the chest of a genlock and splitting it in two. Another roar and four charging darkspawn fell, hands held out before them, trying to shield them from the pure fury hurled at them. They died within moments, Alistair's blade and shield a blur as they ripped his foes asunder.

Joy.

Ahead of her, atop the stairs an ogre towered, another coming up just behind him and to his right, both ready to crush the pair. The one at the front crouched low, heavy fists smashing into the ground, ready to free a great block of stone, ready to throw it at the pair that not even _it_ dared to oppose.

Joy!

Lynn rushed forward, jumped, kicked out into the chest of a hurlock...and launched herself forward even as the ogre pulled up the massive block of stone. She landed atop the stone, crouched low even as the ogre continued to move, its wide blue eyes staring at her in animalistic rage.

A snarl and Lynn launched herself off the rock in the ogre's hands, smashing her axe into the right side of its neck even as she jumped over its left shoulder, drawing the axe along with her, cutting the ogre's throat from ear to ear.

A gurgle escaped it...and it fell.

And Lynn wasn't even aware of it, her jump over the first ogre's shoulder carrying her into the chest of the second with her legs first. A crouched landing...and Lynn's sword was thrust in between the second and third rib of the ogre, slightly inclined inwards...piercing its heart.

A strangled gasp escaped the ogre, surprise in its large eyes...and it too fell.

Freeing her sword Lynn remained atop the ogre as it toppled backwards.

A crash and it met the ground...and Lynn used the sudden stop to come off it with a flip, her sword cutting a hurlock open from sternum to groin and her axe cleaving another's skull in twain even before she landed on her feet. Landing on one knee she looked up, finding more darkspawn rushing at her...rushing to their _death_.

_Joy_!

Another ogre came at her right flank...only to howl as it fell over, its right leg having been hacked off just above the knee, Alistair's gore-covered form passing it by, smashing into the darkspawn opposing her.

And scattering them like leaves before the storm.

Lynn grinned...and charged.

The darkspawn before the two simply..._evaporated_...blood and guts falling everywhere, the darkspawn slain by untiring arms, diced before they even hit the ground.

Ahead of them the darkspawn massed and charged, trying to stop the storm tearing into them.

They might as well have tried to stop fate itself.

One step. Lynn's axe parrying a sword even as her darting blade gutted two hurlocks, her suddenly free axe cutting the leg off a genlock. Alistair's shield shattered the skull of a genlock as his sword buried itself into another's chest, his foot shooting out to trip a hurlock, sending it tumbling before him so his second step could crush its skull.

Another step. Scything blades, dying darkspawn, blood pouring over her, clinging to her hair, her body, everywhere.

A third step. Lynn's past was dead, her future dead, her present...dying...and she _loved_ it!

A fourth step. More blood, more dead, covering the stairs, a carpet of dead for their betters to walk upon.

A fifth step. She drank it, it burnt, hurt, was delicious...and she cried with joy.

The final step and she and Alistair both leapt upon the ogre hesitating before them, barrelling into its abdomen, knocking it over even as their weapons dug through its hide and into its flesh.

Blood.

Three weapons swinging, tearing flesh, skin and bones...

A howl.

Two thrusts, at each side of its chest, both piercing its heart.

And silence.

Breathing heavily Lynn released her grip on the sword deep in the ogre's chest, watching Alistair do the same as they remained kneeling upon its remains. Her vision was narrow and blurry, tears of joy and pain intermingling, her ears filled with nothing but the beating of her own heart, her skin afire with pain and excitement.

A glance backwards showed that Oghren and the remaining dwarves were there, all staring at the pair...then as one turning as Oghren growled something she couldn't hear, making them form a defensive circle, ready to defend the entrance to Fort Drakon against the pursuing darkspawn together with a near unconscious Wynne behind them as the wardens continued up to fight the archdemon on their own.

No words needed saying.

Lynn grinned and looked over at Alistair. _Her_ warden was covered in as much blood as _she_ was, concealing the silver of his armour, turning his hair black with it, his face a dark mask of it. Blood, death, fear, pain...joy...it was all there, a mirror of herself...yet...different.

She kissed him fiercely, tasting the blood and gore on his lips, on hers...it was filthy, burnt her, hurt, was one of the last...as bitter as it was sweet.

And she felt nothing but joy.

8

8

8

The door crashed open, the warden's coming through it in a explosion of pieces of wood from the door and the blood of the ogre that had barred their path.

The top of Fort Drakon...Lynn felt as if she could touch the sky, they were so high up...it was as if the world had been reduced to the wide stone platform, the now black sky...and nothing more.

_Fitting_.

Turning her head Lynn saw half a dozen soldiers huddle together in a small circle as they defended themselves from a dozen hurlocks closing in around them, crying out in defiance as they struggled on, the last of the garrison, defiant to the last.

And suddenly aflame.

Screaming men and hurlocks alike fell to the floor, writhing as unnatural fire enveloped them, their skin and armour falling off in lumps as they rapidly fell apart.

_Unimportant_.

Lynn's gaze instead focused on what had set them afire, nearly lazily swinging around above it on large wings. Graceful even as it slew the last of the city's defenders...sweeping through the sky, hatred and evil incarnate...and victorious.

_The_ _archdemon_...

Lynn felt no fear at the familiar sight. At the many long blades covering it, capable of shearing a man in half. At the pale white eyes, dead yet full of vicious hatred. At the grace and strength of it. At the many memories of those very same fangs tearing into her as the beast tore her dream-self apart. At the sheer _size_ of it.

No...all she felt was satisfaction.

Its milky eyes focused on the two wardens as the beast swung about...on _her_...and there was _recognition_.

Lynn smiled and raised her blade in a mock salute._ I promised I would kill you_..._and_ _here_ _I_ _am_.

There was no fear in the eyes looking back at her, nothing but evil and a knowledge that it would feast upon her. She had expected no less and only smiled wider as she saw the beast swing about, its wings held out wide as it began to glide towards them.

Alistair shifted his stance, shield raised as he prepared to protect them against the fire. Telling her one thing. _It'll just fly above us and burn us alive_.

_No_.

_The circle tower_. Lynn put a hand on Alistair's shoulder, pushing down. _Uldred_. She smiled, confident. _Take_ _a_ _knee_.

She released his shoulder and begun to jog away from the approaching archdemon even as the man silently slipped onto one knee. The demon's eyes smiled at her, full of malevolence...malevolence and confidence.

Lynn turned about, smirked at the approaching demon...and charged back towards Alistair.

_You think me to be weak_.

She closed the distance quickly.

_You think me afraid_.

She leapt.

_I_ _was_.

Landing atop Alistair's shoulder she felt him rise, making her jump higher, longer...perfect.

_Not any longer_.

Suddenly airborne she flew to meet the archdemon's attack. There was no fear in it eyes, only anger as it opened its mouth to breathe its vicious fire over her.

It hurt...a fire burning not only her flesh but her soul.

Lynn had felt worse though, her flesh had hardened, her soul been strengthened through trials none should have endured.

Flying through the cloud of fire she pass to the left of the archdemon's head, past the long neck...under its now beating wing.

She swung.

And the archdemon began to bleed.

With her axe buried into the muscles between the archdemon's body and wing Lynn swung upwards, her sword thrusting into the important muscles as well. It roared out in anger as a flood of blood exploded from the wounds, pushing Lynn's weapons out of them as its body twisted around to lose her.

She _fell_.

_He_ caught her.

And the archdemon crashed into the floor with an earth-shattering crunch.

Lynn smiled up at Alistair as he held her, he smiled back...a moment of peace, fleeting and wonderful...then he put her down as they both turned to face their final foe.

A rumbling growl escaped the massive dragon as it struggled to get to its feet, its left wing hanging down its flank, nearly motionless and covered in its own blood.

_I knew you could bleed_. Lynn smirked as she and her fellow warden begun to jog towards the beast._ I know you will die_. Their pace quickened into a flat out run as the archdemon finally stood upright, pale eyes narrowing at them. _You killed me a thousand times in my dreams...now here I am_..._and_ _I shall teach you to know fear_.

She ducked under snapping fangs, sword finding a chink in its scales, drawing a bloody scar along its jaw even as Alistair's shield crashed into the base of its neck, crushing scales and flesh with the brutality of the blow.

_You_ _sent_ _your_ _minions_ _to_ _destroy_ _me_. Lynn leapt upon its right leg, landing atop the knee and dealing it a blow with the axe even as she leapt upwards. _It only made me stronger_. Her sword dug into its flank, deep, drawing a howl from it. _You reap what you sow_. She saw the archdemon's hind leg rise up to kick her off...instead she pushed away with her legs and freed her blade, dodging the kicking leg with a flip through the air and landing a dozen feet away from the bleeding archdemon. _And_ _you__ have sown the seeds your own destruction_.

Turning to face her the archdemon didn't even see Alistair as he ran under it, blade digging deep into its underbelly, making it howl and drop down to crush him. He had anticipated it though and rolled over to its left side, under its limp wing...that suddenly came off in an explosion of blood as the man cut through the wide membrane in a single swing. _Duncan would be proud_...

The archdemon's head rose high, a howl escaping it as it stumbled away from the man and its severed wing.

Then Lynn was rushing into it, easily dodging its swiping right foot and instead digging into the limb with her axe and letting it pull her up as the archdemon withdrew with a hiss. Releasing her grip on the axe Lynn let herself fly past the flank of the archdemon, over its remaining wing...and then land atop its back.

It was a writing mass she now stood on, the blades atop its back threatening to cut her apart as the demon moved to throw her off...yet Lynn felt no fear._ It is you who will know fear_. She ran, veins pumping with the promise of vengeance as she rushed towards the monster's head. _For you cannot win_. She jumped. _For I am your death_.

Spinning counter-clockwise mid-jump she thrust out as she flew past the right side of the archdemon's head, her sword caught the archdemon just behind the skull, digging deep into its neck, crushing up through its head, right to the very hilt of the sword.

Landing heavily on the ground Lynn looked backwards in time to see the archdemon stumble backwards, a rattled growl escaping it as it tossed its head, blood pouring from where the sword was sticking out from its neck, open mouth revealing the tip of the blade and the blood bubbling there.

Yet it wasn't dead.

And Alistair was moving...

Her blood-lust instantly disappeared.

"No!" Lynn leapt forward, crashing into Alistair and forcing him away from the crippled archdemon. "Don't!" He moved...she pushed back, holding him away, keeping him from..._Maker_ _no_! "_Please_!"

He blinked, eyes filled with fury darting down at her, seeing..._her_.

The blood-lust that had mirrored her own faded, his fury dying, replaced by grief. "I...Lynn..."

"No." She shook her head furiously. "No, don't."

"I..." Alistair swallowed, shuddering as he stared at her, eyes...drinking her in, because...Lynn's stomach knotting up in fear. _No_... "...I have to."

"No..." Lynn felt her desperation grow, tearing into her, ripping at her soul. _I can't_..._I won't let you_..._never_..._not after all this_... "K-kiss m-me..." Her hands, shaking, reached up found his face, clutched at it, pulled him closer.

With a thud Alistair's shield dropped to the floor as his left hand moved up to stroke her hair back, his stance stiff as he moved to kiss her.

_For_ _the_ _last_ _time_...

Lynn wept, breathing in, breathing his scent.

_For_ _the_ _last_ _time_...

She kissed him, tasted him.

_For the last time_...

She pushed closer, her right hand coming down to rest on his hip as his left hand clutched at her shoulder. And her left hand held his shoulder, trailed downwards...over armour plates containing all that she had left in the world...and downwards...to his hand...

_I_ _can't_... She pulled back, reluctant, grieving....staring at Alistair, loving every detail. He was staring back, his grief mirroring hers..._unknowing_. Her lips trembled, her throat closing up, terror and grief in equal measures gripping her. "I...I'm sorry."

Her left hand moved, wrenching the sword out of Alistair's hands as she ran...

And came to a complete stop.

A vice, closed around her right arm.

_No_!

"I...I love you." His voice, low and shaking.

_No_!

A pull, hard and fast, sending her flying backwards, into the dirt.

_NO_!

She wept, she screamed, terror washing over her. Rolling onto her feet she tried to...move. Yet she could only stare as she saw Alistair, with far more of a head start...rush towards the archdemon, unarmed...and unstoppable.

A man, a stranger...

Alistair ran, head bowed low, legs pumping, a missile of silver and gore, unwavering.

Kindness, even when grieving...

The archdemon slumped to the ground, pale eyes staring at Alistair, knowing its end was at hand, knowing _fear_.

An argument...

Alistair roared, a primal scream of grief and anguish, fear and relief, love and hatred...and crossed the final distance.

A rose...

The archdemon rose on its hind legs, a last attempt to fight, to crush its doom under its own weight. But it was wounded, sluggish...it wouldn't make it.

Refusal and kindness, nearly destroying her...

Alistair leapt, crashing into the chest of the archdemon, sending toppling backwards with him atop it.

A stolen kiss...

The archdemon howled, afraid, blades covering its back snapping under it.

A medallion...a true kiss...all changing...

Its head lunged at Alistair, jaws snapping into the air to his left as the man dodged the attack, his left hand reaching out and grabbing a hold of one of the ridges covering it as his other reached out, behind its head.

Her love made king...

He grasped her sword, still buried into the archdemon's neck...and pulled it free, making the archdemon howl as it pulled its head away, and Alistair let it...for he had a sword now, _Lynn's_ sword.

Him embracing his duty...hurting her when he didn't wish to...

A final roar, the man grasping the blade with both hands in a reversed grip as he slipped to his knees atop the archdemon...and smashed it into its chest.

A new love...desperate and doomed...wonderful and painful...

The archdemon howled, head arching back, its body stiffening as the sword smashed though scales, bones and flesh...to its heart.

Pain, love...so intense she'd lost herself in it...

Light flooded from the wound, exploding from the archdemon as its body went limp, the light swallowing Alistair even as Lynn finally slumped to her knees.

All gone...

There was no explosion, no rush of power...only a sharp light, the pain it caused nothing compared to what its significance caused.

Then nothing, Alistair on his knees atop the limp archdemon...falling forward, crashing into the floor.

_Gone_...

Lynn bowed her head, gasping as something within her flickered...and died.

She fell...and didn't stop falling.

For there was no one to hold her, no one to catch her.

_All gone_...

Darkness took her.

_Thanks to Abydos Jackson for surviving this one._


	74. Epilogue

Three months had passed.

Ferelden had come together, men, women, children, elves and humans, nobles and beggars...all had joined in rebuilding. Only now able to count their loss there was much grief, for the entire country had felt the touch of war. But Fereldians didn't give up, they rebuilt...and nearly every subject had contributed in some way to rebuilding Denerim...as if its rebuilding somehow would heal the wounds the war had caused them.

Three months and the city had been rebuilt from the ashes, larger and more lustrous than before.

Standing in the royal palace of the city Lynn noted it had been built to resemble the old one...yet it wasn't the same...the ceiling was higher, the throne room larger...the throne itself a massive thing of dark mahogany that was large enough to seat two people.

The nobles assembled before her were the same as in the landsmeet...yet not...there were less of them, more women among them, many young faces, the same as the old ones, yet not. Nearly all of them had lost the head of the family, a sign of how vicious the battle outside Denerim had been... Yet they all stood there, proud, _happy_...hopeful of the future.

"And so now we come together..." Anora's voice rang out, clear across the room...but Lynn didn't listen, only watched, waiting for their queen to finish the no doubt touching speech.

It hadn't been difficult for Anora to seize the throne in the aftermath of the battle. She was the only one left with both a claim and a wish to have it. She had not seen the destruction as a deterrent, she had seen an opportunity...and had wisely taken it. Ferelden was to be reforged, more centralised stronger then before...and there was _none_ to oppose her.

Eamon had _tried_, finding the vulturous nature of seizing the throne like that abhorrent, wanting to honour the Theirin name..

But Anora was still known as a queen among many nobles, nobles desiring stability and growth after a war. And right now the people needed symbols, _heroes_...and Anora's spirited defence of the dungeon in Fort Drakon was already being sung alongside that of their martyred king. Perhaps a few of the singers were sponsored by the queen herself...but it made no difference, people loved their queen. She had been clever, she had led her defence using both fellow prisoners and jailers...all of whom had been knighted in the aftermath, another set of heroes, a proof of the queen's kindness and love for her people.

Even now, dressed in the royal blue as always, Anora sported a heavy bandage across her left arm, despite the scratch there had most likely healed by now... But it was a symbol, a sign of her heroism that she had shed blood alongside that of her subjects...and it worked.

So Eamon had tried to get Lynn's help in stopping Anora's ascent, the 'hero' of Ferelden.

But the Theirin blood was gone...and for all Lynn cared Anora was welcome to the throne, a strong leader and capable administrator would be needed...and with her status as both warden and 'hero' of Ferelden Lynn did not fear any vengeance from Anora for the death of her father and Lynn's betrayal. Even without those titles she wouldn't have cared...she was beyond petty fear.

Three months had passed...and this was the first time since the battle that Lynn was within the city walls.

She had stayed in Redcliffe, grieving, trying to heal...and failing.

She had thought her soul had died atop Fort Drakon, that it had been slain along with the archdemon...died with Alistair.

Fate had not been that kind.

It had only been broken, wounded...dying.

So she had hidden away in Redcliffe castle, what friends remaining coming with her, vainly trying to help...for three torturous months...

For a month she had wept. Wept for her losses. For all the death. For all the pain along the road. For all the fear. For all the worry. For all the hate. For all the love. For Marby. For Zevran. For Leliana. For Soris. For Shianni. For her father. For Alistair...

But it wouldn't stop, the pain had just continued, for a month it had poured out of her...as if all the months of struggles had finally caught up with her, as if it all had been stored away...and only now crashed through the walls she had put up. It had hurt...and didn't stop hurting.

So she had tried anger.

For a month she had wailed at the sky, cursing the Maker with body and what little remained of her soul. For where he had placed her. For what he had put her through. For allowing it all to happen.

She had cursed herself. For her fear. For her doubts. For her weakness. For not having taken Morrigan's offer. For that moment where it all came crashing down, where she had _failed_.

She had cursed Alistair. For his kindness. For his caring. For that foolish nobility. For his love of her. For his selfishness. For his cruelty.

She had been _ready_! Ready to do what was right! Ready to slay the beast! Ready to save him and make him king! It had been _her_ duty! _Not_ his! They had _both_ known it! Yet she couldn't hate him for it. He had done it for love, for the duty it entitled him...for _hope_, hope that she would live, heal...find happiness.

He had always found hope when she didn't...only this time _he_ had been the one wrong...his hope misguided. The only thing his sacrifice had done was to stop her from ending herself, for she could not bring herself to end things, to make his sacrifice meaningless. So he had shackled her to life...to the pain...and she _still_ couldn't hate him for it.

So she had tried drinking.

It had only lasted a day, the next day Oghren of all people had marched through the castle and taken every bottle of spirits....marched down to the village and taken every bottle there as well...and dumped it into the lake.

She had wailed at him, cursed at him...and Oghren had said nothing.

So she began to weep again.

Wept for the future that would no longer be. For the future that _would_ be. For the _thirty_ years she had left, the thirty years Alistair's cruelty had shackled her to. Yet she couldn't hate him for it. She _couldn't_...and that hurt more then anything else. She could only accept it...and weep.

Then she had stopped.

The tears stopped, the wails stopped..._all_ stopped. She could still feel the grief, the pain, but it was a distant echo somewhere deep within her...dead and meaningless.

So she had returned to Denerim, finally heeding Anora's insistent calls.

Her entrance had been triumphant, cheering citizens all around, a city glowing with health and hope...and Lynn hadn't cared. Her, the elf, loved by people that once would have spat at her as she passed them by...and it had meant nothing to her. She could _understand_ the importance of such a thing, of how great that would be for the future, just as well she understood Anora was only bringing her back to further unite the people... Yet she couldn't _care_, the frivolity only kindling an echo of disgust within her. Were people's memories really that short? Did their grief just disappear when relief struck them? It was an insult to her pain, to Alistair's sacrifice...yet she had raised her hand, made the people cheer...and not looked at them, finding every time she did so that they looked away...in shame or fear she couldn't tell.

And now she stood in the throne room, last time to kill Anora's father, to put Alistair on the throne...and now to stand next to Anora, silently supporting the queen's continued hold on the throne. The irony of it burnt her...and she only shrugged it aside.

If Anora felt any glee over her victory she didn't show it, then again she was right in front of the nobles, to act gleeful or try to be cruel against their 'hero' would have been counter-productive to Anora's desire to strengthen the kingdom.

She had _tried_ though, in a _private_ audience, _before_ the celebration...but it had fallen flat. Nothing the queen could have said could have hurt Lynn, not _anymore_...and Anora hadn't even _tried_ when she had seen the other woman. In fact the queen hadn't really been able to _look_ at Lynn, not as one should.

Even now, when turning towards Lynn atop the small rise next to the throne, Anora was looking at Lynn's face, yet not meeting her eyes..._unable_ to do so...as all others so far had been. Lynn didn't know why, what they couldn't endure to see, nor did she care. "Is there some boon the great hero would wish of the queen?" Anora spoke loud and clear, her voice kind, her eyes looking at Lynn's mouth, trying to make it look as if _she_ of all people could at least meet the warden's gaze.

_A_ _boon_? Lynn felt an echo of surprise, then realised it would improper _not_ to offer such a thing, Anora was trying to reforge the country, as such she must show that its heroes were rewarded for their service. _A_ _boon_...

She could ask for her people to be recognised, for Anora to help them. But to what purpose? Her family was gone, many of the alienage elves dead, they were not _her_ people anymore. And even if they were...what purpose would helping them serve? They would squander it, no rise of social status or power was of use if one didn't _earn_ it. _They'll earn it on their own, or not at all_.

She could ask for another statue of Alistair. The service of the warden-king had been a thing of beauty...and Lynn had only endured it for a minute before she had been forced to leave. Even now there were statues of him sprouting up all over the place, in honour of their saviour. But what was the point of one more? It would just be another symbol of Anora's to use to unite the country, another pale reflection of a man none who honoured him really knew...a lie. _No_, _none_ _of_ _them_ _deserves_ _more_ _of_ _him_..._not even those pale reflections of him_.

She could ask to stay by Anora's side, the queen would not be able to refuse. It would not only calm Eamon down but make sure Lynn had a viable income for the future. Or she could simply ask for the riches she no doubt deserved, for land and wealth...Anora wouldn't deny her. _But what is wealth when there's none to share it with_? _What is land with none to live on it with_?_ Money is worthless, Anora cannot give me __true__ wealth_.

If she could Lynn would have scoffed. From such humble beginnings, beginning with such a desire to earn every sovereign she could get her hands on, to help her people...to _this_. Her voice came out, a dead whisper that somehow reached every corner of the silent room.

"I desire nothing."

"That is..." Anora hesitated even as whispers of surprise ran through the crowd of nobles, then nodded, smiling weakly as she kept looking at Lynn's mouth, still unable to meet her eyes. "...commendable. A _true_ hero!" She turned her head at the last words, smile widening for the sake of the gathered nobles, drawing a cheer from them, honest, _happy_, celebrating Lynn's 'heroism'.

Lynn turned her head, looking down at where her friends had been given a place of honour in the crowd, in front of yet separate from the rest of the crowd, all of them politely smiling...but not there, minds elsewhere, unable to watch the celebration.

Wynne. The old mage who would stay in Denerim, advisee the throne and try to further the cause of mages, doing her _duty_. Lynn could do nothing but silently approve...despite it being _Anora_, not _Alistair_, on the throne.

Oghren. The man already looking quite drunk, who had taken up Teagan's offer to train his soldiers, who would do his _duty_ in strengthening the land he was now part of. And Lynn approved.

Sten. The qunari who would soon leave and head for his homeland, to give his report, to do his duty...and Lynn could do nothing but approve.

They would all leave...and Lynn would then be _alone_.

Mostly she saw those that _weren't_ there though.

Marby. That would have showered her with the unrequited love only a dog was capable of. Who had died doing his _duty_...

Zevran. The assassin who had perfected the art of sleazy yet charming comments. That had died for her, doing his _duty_...

Leliana. The bard that by all right should be here now, to sing the great tale of their quest, who would bring a blush to Alistair's cheeks as she sung of the great dragon-slayer and his love for his fellow warden. Leliana that _duty_ had torn away from them...

Alistair. A small sigh escaped Lynn. _Oh Alistair_...

_Duty, I despise you_.

"What will you do now?" Anora's question was honest, curious, as much worried for what Lynn might come up with as it was eager to know what the queen might use the great 'hero' for.

Lynn hadn't given it much thought, too occupied with her grief...yet she knew there could be only one choice, despite everything...

She could leave, leave Ferelden, find a land where none knew of her...and live out her life in silence. It was a tempting thought...but she would never do it, it went against everything she and Alistair stood for. She would remain in Ferelden.

She could hunt down Morrigan...the betrayal of the witch was tinged with as much bitterness as it was with anger..but all were just distant echoes, meaning nothing to her. The witch had left, and it was for the best. There had been enough death...Lynn would leave the woman be, her _friend_.

She could leave with Sten, help the qunari back to his homeland, he would not refuse it. But while such a journey might bring some peace to her...Lynn thought it best to let Sten go on his own. It was best not to linger with the friends of old...they only reminded her of times she wanted desperately to forget.

No, there was only one option.

_Duty, I embrace you_.

"I will remain with the wardens, rebuild what was lost." Lynn's voice was not her own, it was flat, devoid of _her_...unfeeling. But perhaps that _was_ her now?

If she could Lynn would have grieved.

Anora smiled, a small, victorious smile. _Ah_. "That is well, the wardens _need_ rebuilding." She turned to look at the nobles, standing straight, regal. "May all know that from now on Amaranthine, the land once belonging to arl Howe, now belongs to the wardens, where they can rebuild. A torch in the night!"

Cheers, applauds, approval.

Lynn couldn't care less.

Stepping down from the rise near the throne Lynn moved to leave, tired with the games and politics, tired with...everything. The nobles before her kept applauding, cheering...and split before her, looking at her, yet _not_...

They only saw the _hero_.

For Lynn was _gone_.

The end?

88

_A heartfelt 'thank you' to Abydos Jackson for having done so much work, that she of course would claim was no work at all, in order to make this work better then it could have ever been if I had been on my own. She has truly helped me strive to greater heights._


End file.
